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2,953 Public Reviews Given
3,697 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest. I give my overall impressions, let you know what worked well for me and what didn't, and when that happens, I like to try and offer suggestions--totally up to you if you want to take any notice; it is your writing, after all. I am just glad to have the opportunity to read and review. I rarely think anything is perfect, so please do not request a review if you value ratings over review content.
I'm good at...
...being interested. I take time over reviews. My reviews are intimate, informal and honest. They aim to help, offer insight, and celebrate the graft of craft. I love commas. Punctuation is a personal passion.
Favorite Genres
Comedy, supernatural horror, sci-if, fantasy, thriller, detective, slice-of-life, history.
Least Favorite Genres
Dystopian glumness, romance, personal.
Favorite Item Types
Scripts. Fiction. Essays, especially academic
Least Favorite Item Types
Free form poetry. Other than that, little offends.
I will not review...
Unless previously agreed, novels and chapters are a no go with me. I am sorry to say that I haven't the time.
Public Reviews
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601
601
Review by Acme
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*
*Star* Congratulations on being chosen as a Prize catch in "The Talent Pond *Star*


What are my overall impressions?

Sport, men, beer, women... the humour in this piece almost had to happen, and it did! I love the little places it turned up and your comedy timing and delivery was spot on. Another talent of yours which shone out was the sparky informal, chatty and believable dialogue - all in all, a very well written story *Smile*

What are my favourite parts?
“I have never, ever in all my years of playing, officiating, and watching seen anything this vicious.” Both teams were a bit stunned as the official stood on his tiptoes spraying Don’s face, “That, sir was completely uncalled for; kicking and raking an opponents head with your boots is far beyond the spirit of this, a gentlemen’s, game”
- being British, I too, have always been amused at the thought of Rugby being a 'gentlemen's game' - I found this telling off funny, and then my moral compass swung in and I cleared my mental throat and muttered next to the narrator and Don *Laugh*

What are my suggestions?
None! Perfectly wonderful and engaging read.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work and good luck! Write on and take care *Star*

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602
602
Review of 30 Years  
Review by Acme
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*
*Star* Congratulations on being chosen as a Prize catch in "The Talent Pond *Star*


What are my overall impressions?

I found this piece really moving. Such passion, warmth and emotion leaked from the page. The narrative POV allowed me to really follow all the memories and emotions of this man looking with love at his wife - beautiful expressed *Smile*

What are my favourite parts?
She had supported and tolerated him for those years and the dark years that followed. Through it all she had managed to gather laugh lines in addition to the barely perceptible crows’ feet that were crawling onto her soft face.
- such a tender, thoughtful portrait of a loved one which captured my interest in both of these people; making me want to know more about them both - very well written *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
she was good, He had
- typo capital

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work and good luck! Write on and take care *Star*

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603
603
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*
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This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

It was only a month and a half ago I found myself reviewing excerpts from a friends university thesis re: the Sepoy Rebellion; I find it to be a fascinating period in history as India's First War of Independence and I'm so glad you entered this very well written poem. You had me hooked from the start with your references to both the British and Indian POVs in what each called this event - very well written, thought provoking and thoughtful. A fine example of a historical poem *Smile*

What are my favourite parts?
It is very hard to remain objective when writing about such bloody periods of history, and I'm rather glad you didn't. History should hold up its mistakes, in the hope they won't be made again. Your references to the continued struggles for national independence and some horrific incidents, contrasted well with your brief examination of the different approaches to political and national assertion.

What are my suggestions?
Although you have referenced dates, notable figures and events, I did feel the poetry sometimes suffered: Using 7/6/7/6 meter in a quatrain structure was a good device for delivering your subject, but the strict adherence to the structure sometimes affected the way your subject matter was conveyed; it made it difficult to find a natural rhythm to your words, especially when your sentences ran on and hit a Capitalised letter at the beginning of lines. I realise this is a somewhat traditional delivery, but as the poem was non-rhyming and the sentence structure 'wrapped' text, a less traditional form (such as Free Verse) may have suited your content better - purely personal preference, I know!

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work and good luck! Write on and take care *Star*

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604
604
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*
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This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

Universal nodding all the way through. You have a wonderful talent for observational humour. From fantastic narrative description you went on to deliver one of the funniest bureaucratic wedges of dialogue I've been privy to since The Office. Funny and well written - a pleasure to read *Thumbsup*

What are my favourite parts?
The Panic Room--a movie about a bunch of stupid thieves trying to get Jodie Foster to come out of the closet. Good luck with that.
*Laugh*

What are my suggestions?
None - well honed humour as always *Delight*

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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605
605
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*
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This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

People, people, people; you make them flesh and blood, jumping from the page and into vivid imaginings of me as a reader. Fabulous use of the prompt in this tale. I marvel at how such an apparently sad story can be made positive and exude a certain humour in it's human reactions and responses. I really think you should consider including these stories in a 'book' format as your family stories are such addictive reading *Smile*

What are my favourite parts?
Forget turning over a new leaf, Ravi seemed to have turned over the whole tree.
There are so many moments in this story I could chose as favourites, Nanni's stiffening back whilst listening, the narrators POV of wanting to celebrate Ravi's spirit, but recognising the need to tame his wildness, and Jeev's attempt to enforce the discipline of learning. I chose this one because the narrative, observational humour is typical of your gentle and subtle style, and makes for very addictive reading *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
so his father [so saw] no apparent change in his work habits


*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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606
606
Review by Acme
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*
Thanks for entering
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1347774 by Not Available.


What are my overall impressions?

A funny little seasonal poem which in only a few words expresses so much. I always like the informal tone you set to your easy-going humour and this poem is no exception. I'm a sucker for a well displayed piece and you have used colour, font and WritingML to enhance this write *Smile*

What are my favourite parts?
We garnished each branch like a fat Christmas pig
The angel on top, still needed a wig
Her hair had been caught on another display
While packed in the attic since New year's day
- I love your effortless style, and funny little details which most households can nod in recognition *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
None! I took your suggestions instead *Laugh*!

*Star* Thank you for entering and good luck! Write on and take care *Star*

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607
607
Review by Acme
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*
Thanks for entering
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1347774 by Not Available.


What are my overall impressions?

A funny little seasonal poem which in only a few words expresses so much. I always like the informal tone you set to your easy-going humour and this poem is no exception. I'm a sucker for a well displayed piece and you have used colour, font and WritingML to enhance this write *Smile*

What are my favourite parts?
We garnished each branch like a fat Christmas pig
The angel on top, still needed a wig
Her hair had been caught on another display
While packed in the attic since New year's day
- I love your effortless style, and funny little details which most households can nod in recognition *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
None! I took your suggestions instead *Laugh*!

*Star* Thank you for entering and good luck! Write on and take care *Star*

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608
608
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*
Thanks for entering
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1347774 by Not Available.


What are my overall impressions?

Another well written tale, and an refreshing change in type by delivering a script *Thumbsup* I love the way you've taken these animals and given them such strong characteristics. Good play on words for the ending and a lovely seasonal write.

What are my favourite parts?
The character descriptions are marvelous *Smile* and the humour is fittingly, gentle and subtle.

What are my suggestions?
where I see [an] iridescent plume of smoke


*Star* Thank you for entering and good luck! Write on and take care *Star*

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609
609
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*
Thanks for entering
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1347774 by Not Available.


What are my overall impressions?

Vivid, funny, gross, exciting - and that's just the font! Seriously, you sure have a knack for comedy poetry (I shall expect you to make an appearance in "Invalid Item *Wink*) Using a traditional quatrain structure with AABB rhyme scheme is perfect for this kind of story telling, as it allows the reader to concentrate on your choice of rhythm and pace. Very well written *Thumbsup*

What are my favourite parts?
Mom cooked up the chipmunk, but I could not bear,
To eat something so recently covered with hair.
- I also loved the 'shoot it again' scene, but this was my favourite for it's observational/situational comedy and cracking delivery *Delight*

What are my suggestions?
None! No errors in structure, grammar or spelling that I noticed.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work, and good luck in the contest! Write on and take care *Star*
610
610
Review by Acme
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*
Thanks for entering
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1347774 by Not Available.


What are my overall impressions?
I've got that darn tune stuck in my head now *Laugh*! Funny, witty, silly, and seasonal - not to mention ram-packed full of my favourite WritingML - Top Notch delivery. I love a seasonal parody and this was perfect in every way *Bigsmile*

What are my favourite parts?
ALL of it, but Kudos for 'micturating' (I love to learn new loo words) and vivid imagery galore *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
Record it. Sell it. Live off your Billboard 100 royalties on a beach in Barbados

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work, and good luck in the contest! Write on and take care *Star*

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611
611
Review of Letter From Somme  
Review by Acme
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!


What are my overall impressions?

My partner is, among other things, a British World War I history enthusiast. He has planned a trip to take him to the Somme, so I was interested in reading this particular letter/memo of yours *Smile* I know very little about the details of these particular battles, the regiments involved, and the tally of loss of life. Reading this letter was far more than this though; you managed to capture the 'human' element really well, and convey all the repressed and expressed emotions of your narrator writing home to his loved one. Very well written and very moving; thank you for providing a wonderful item to read *Thumbsup*

What are my favourite parts?
The image of the post-mark and handwriting really enhanced the experience of reading a letter - little details like that can really bring a reader into your work, as does the handy link to the Battle details!

What are my suggestions?
None! No errors in structure, spelling or grammar which I could see.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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612
612
Review of ~You're my honey  
Review by Acme
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

Stained you are so very versatile *Thumbsup* This poem works well on so many levels:
*Check3* It ticks the erotic box. The free verse structure you have chosen really helps deliver a climactic story.
*Check3* Progressive and vivid imagery
*Check3* I loved the way you set a pace and rhythm which used harsh punctuation (periods and exclamation marks; no commas) to enhance the delivery of your content.

What are my favourite parts?
I love the use of blue coloured text to match the 'blue' subject matter and, of course, the little emoticon made my day *Delight*!

What are my suggestions?
None. This is a fine piece of erotic poetry *Smile*

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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613
613
Review by Acme
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

I read this and wanted to read more - find out about your narrator and their life. Now that's a sign of a good writer in the making *Smile* You have a talent for building a tone, and character building (I love the way you created the room-mate as someone almost 'ghost-like')

What are my favourite parts?
More clumsy practice at being a thirty something woman alone.
- you have a powerful way with words and this phrase stuck with me *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
The snow has already begun to stick, and the streets are a mess of white snow and clear ice.
- using different discriptors can enhance your narrative eg, changing the second reference of 'snow' to 'powder'.

I knew it is probably not the best living situation
- being tense aware can really benefit your proof reading. Shifting between tenses can be distracting for a reader.

streets, and tall buildings. i look
- capital 'I'

A long strange trip..
- ellipsis are usually denoted by three periods

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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614
614
Review of Nurturing  
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This review is in consideration of your entry in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1341392 by Not Available.

What are my overall impressions?

Good use of the prompt and a good example of Free Verse. This poem is well written but lacks a little feeling. I know its a worn phrase, but I do get the impression of being told rather than shown in the middle verse. l really enjoyed the tone and descriptions at the beginning and end *Smile*

What are my favourite parts?
What power I must possess
to wend my way
up through the barrier
of this unyielding space.
- I love that this is a statement and not a question *Thumbsup* In choosing this way to present the thought, you add an extra feeling of strength and independence, echoed as a theme in the rest of the poem - good solid writing.

What are my suggestions?
Apart from my above statement, I would also you suggest you cast an editorial glance over your punctuation - I'm an absolute hypocrite, I know; but I did think there were some unnecessary commas peppering the text.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work, and good luck in the contest! Write on and take care *Star*

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615
615
Review of The White Board  
Review by Acme
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*
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This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

I stumbled on this last night, and am adding it to My Blog links, as I can see myself visiting often *Smile* Have a wonderful time with your daughter now she has returned and enjoy the snow, if you can, too!

What are my favourite parts?
You have a wonderful family but, even including Gary Sinise, I still find the discription of the Christmas lighting to be my personal highlight:
Christmas lights. Peculiar critters with both minds and lives of their own! It doesn't matter how carefully they are put away the previous january. It doesn't matter at all!
Because over the course of the year they meet, mingle, mate and wear themselves out so that brightly beamng bulbs of Christmas past flicker weakly now and join the lost socks and mittens in Where-ever land.
- you have a natural talent for observational comedy *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
None! Perfect jounal *Bigsmile*

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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616
616
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*
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This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

I was drawn to this because of it's essay tag and the highlighted genre choices. I now see the Writer's Burden as quite the literal one *Laugh*! That's one heck of a tool kit you use *Wink* I love the way you describe the scientific equipment a writer needs to be able of observe life and then comment on it - inspirational stuff and a great opener for your other topical discussion points.

What are my favourite parts?
I found it hard to find a specific part as a favourite, as you have touched so many areas about what compels you as a writer to write, and done so very well. I did enjoy the way you announced what you were and went on to explain it: "I am a story teller..." etc. Thoughtful and thought-provoking read - thank you!

What are my suggestions?
...as well as rail at the fates[;] condemning them to nothing more...



*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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617
617
Review of Stampede  
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*
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This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

I'm lucky enough to have been born and spent the early part of my childhood living next to an amusement park in the North of England. I'm also lucky enough to have gypsy roots and a fairground heritage, so this poem was bound to push all the right buttons for me *Delight*! I love the passion behind your words, the inclusion of photographs really enhances the subject matter, and it is soooooo well written to boot! I'm starting to become a fan of your narrative style, and find your ability to use poetic language to describe common-place things so very vividly, truly talented.

What are my favourite parts?
From New Jersey and Florida
And Arizona, white-haired forever children drove
And flew, riding their seaside pals
In their collective memories,
- powerful imagery to powerful protest - ace *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
None. I noticed no errors in structure, grammar or spelling. Very well written.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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618
618
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*
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This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

This poem has so many marvelous observations that I nearly missed all the wonderful and clever writing working hard in the background! Fabulous character building and plot development is captured throughout your wonderful descriptive narrative. You convey tone, age, history, cultural significance and a whole towns economy and relationships with one little litany of items in a store - truly wonderful writing, a pleasure to read and then to re-read some more! Thank you *Bigsmile*

What are my favourite parts?
Piles of fabric, muslin and wool, calico, brocades—I look ‘til I’m full.
Up on a shelf out of little hands' reach are fancy hats of mauve and peach.
Metal strapped barrels with pickles in brine, cure-all tonics by Doctor Fitzlyme.
A checker board where the old men play, as they sit and spit most of the day.
- I love the internal rhymes throughout; they help create a cracking rhythm as well as enhancing your talent for vivid description *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
Barrels of flour stacked higher than me, ten penny nails- Oh[,] so much to see.


*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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619
619
Review by Acme
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*
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This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

I like my Bunyan and my Arthur Miller but, until now, have never found the time to join Hawthorne's Celestial Railroad, and enjoy the "...great convenience of the new method of going on pilgrimage...". Seeing this poem in your port gave me a good excuse to catch up on my reading and I'm so glad I did *Smile*

What are my favourite parts?
The rumbling sound becomes a cadence, heart beats matching click for clack
Watching shrouded trees retreating, looking forward, never back.
- perfect rhythm*Delight* I can feel the train moving beneath the narrator - truly wonderful writing!

What are my suggestions?
Arriving at Uncertain Station[,] as pre[-]dawn clouds obscure the moon[.]
Looking over shoulder, watching. Checking schedule—leaving soon.


You do mention some pretty dark subjects in this poem:
Pay the tatters of my soul for a ticket to escape;
From the endless woes of living, from the pain of bruise and rape.
and so may wish to re-consider the E-rating for ASR?

I feel the train begin my journey to some[space]place far [away] from here.
- there are a couple of lines, like this one, where some minor editing could help smooth out the rhythm, as you have done a cracking job of building a meter which reflects the pace of rail travel through the majority of the poem *Smile*

“Miss, We are almost there!”
- no need for capital 'w'

Look out Freedom, I’ve come home now,[. or ;?] Look out World, I have Arrived!


*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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620
620
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!
This review is part of my gift to you from
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1030060 by Not Available.



What are my overall impressions?

This is a really well put together poll. I'm a big fan of WritingML to brighten up text and visually enhance the experience for those reading, and participating. You have managed to make me consider your poll subject, set me at ease with your informal and informative tone has, and I'm off to vote now!

What are my favourite parts?
This has me thinking! You have come up with a thoughtful suggestion - and have totally won me over on argument for a wider variety of colours *Delight*

What are my suggestions?
No. you are off your rocker
- comma, semi-colon or capital 'Y'

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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621
621
Review of Surprise Gift  
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey Jyo,

I had to take a peek at what you have come up with for tis part of Ellie's challenge - and I'm so glad I did *Smile*

A lovely Swap Quatrain, well delivered and written. I like all the WritingML, as you haven't overdone it and it really enhances the visual impact of the poem for me. You've also captured the mayhem and joy of a party in full swing, and I adored the closing verse - brilliant as I've come to expect from you!

Thank you for sharing. Write on and take care,
Acme
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622
622
Review of Just One Moment  
Review by Acme
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!


What are my overall impressions?

A good, old fashioned fantasy adventure, well written with just a few areas where a small amount of editing may be beneficial *Smile*

What are my favourite parts?
This scene unfolds wonderfully as an action scene, and I would highly recommend you adding Action/Adventure to your choice of 'genres', to compliment the current 'fantasy' choice. This opener really whet my appetite and I do hope you will follow up this story as your characters are very 'moreish', as are the little questions which surround the action: Why are they outlaws? What do they want from the palace? Why has someone betrayed them? Where do they go next? Very well written *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
Argaeux stood a few hands away, holding his crossbow
- I know what you were trying to say here, but as a 'hand' is a real unit of measurement, this is similar to 'fork handles - four candles', and 'melancholy flower - melon cauliflower'. You may want to reconsider this description to avoid distracting the reader.

sort of dagger-under-the-cloak work, and they were already moving
- I realise this is another clever play on words based on this fantasy universe you have created, but as you are really saying 'cloak and dagger', in a world where both items are synonymous with each other. You may as well go the whole hog with the saying, as, in this case, it would not be cliched.

way Toulon did?," Yutin asked
- no need for the comma as the period contained in the question mark is all the punctuation you need here.

At almost the same time, that guard yelled, "all clear up here."
- you can capitalise the 'all' and substitute the 'that' for 'the'.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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623
623
Review of Stuff  
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Shock* AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH! *Laugh* That is the scariest illustration I have ever seen *Delight* - I love it!

What a fabulous and tidy place you have here Amy - I've not visited you for ages so it's good to see a little compuslive obsessive disorder in your neat and tidy port (I think I'll wait for spring *Wink*)

Seriously, I know this is a folder, but it is neat, well displayed and well organised; and above all else, it's friendly and welcoming *Thumbsup*

Hurrah for tidy people, they make me look so very scruffy!
Hugs,
Acme *Heart*
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Review of One last breath  
Review by Acme
Rated: E | (2.0)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


What are my overall impressions?

This is a work in progress so it's a little difficult to rate *Smile* You have come up with an interesting idea and it will be interesting to see if you can come up with an original story that isn't like a recent television program which dealt with similar concepts. There is still quite a bit of work to do, but you have made a start, and posting your ideas for others to read and comment on can be a daunting step, so well done *Thumbsup*

What are my favourite parts?
So dark I swear that a normal human wouldn't be able to see a light bulb two feet in front of them.
- this took some thinking about *Smile*!

What are my suggestions?
Proof reading what you do put down can really help to catch typos and spelling mistakes like the ones which pepper this item. There is also a spell checker on the tool bar at the top of this item for you to use.

Using exclamation marks in so many sentences can reduce their impact, so you may want to replace a few of them with periods.

Double spacing you dialogue, and between any paragraphs, can make the reading experience smoother on the readers eye.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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Review of TALL TALE  
Review by Acme
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Star* An Acme Review *Star*

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it! *Smile*


Congratulations on being caught as a Prize Catch by
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The Talent Pond  (ASR)
The Talent Pond is working with you to achieve your writing goals.
#1261045 by Brooklyn


What are my overall impressions?

High seas adventures are great fun and this 'Tall Tale' was great fun to read *Delight* Good pace, thrilling adventure and a pretty intense monster; what more could a reviewer ask for? Not much, but there a few places which could use a re-edit on technical grounds.

What are my favourite parts?
Leaving broken hearts behind gets harder with every tear, but I must say goodbye; the wind whispers that wonderful things await just beyond the next sunset.
- this is wonderful writing *Smile* You manage to build the protagonists character and do so using some well used literary devices such as alliteration, and vivid imagery *Thumbsup*

What are my suggestions?
You may want to make the most of the genre choice fields when creating your work; filling these in can make it easier to find for those readers searching the site listings by genre.

I tighten the mainsail and expanded the jib so it could embrace more wind. There is no better feeling then working the wind right and rhythmically dissecting the waves. A slight shift makes me lose the wind for a moment. It was like I passed over something, but I was in very deep water.
as the previous paragraph begins the story in the past tense, you may wish to continue it that way; as changes in tense can be somewhat distracting to the reader.

Son of a bitch I thought. Size - especially out there - matters.
may read better with alternate punctuation:
Son of a bitch[,] I thought. Size[,] especially out there[,] matters.


*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care *Star*

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