"Untitled" by Newbie, Francis R. Jewel only has four lines - but they are magnificent! Some terms I revised and others' I had no idea of their meaning.
But as I sifted through items which I felt I could review with honesty and appreciation - I came across this little gem.
There is nothing to pontificate over - the words and lines are just lovely! Each one conjures up exotic imagery.
What I learnt: Thankyou
The term suspiria and the overall concept of The Three Mothers, was borrowed from English essayist Thomas De Quincey, who discussed the mothers as Three Sorrows affecting humanity (metaphorically, of course) in his 1845 book Suspiria De Profundis.
Newbie, JustMe has written some good, old fashioned philosophy and quite frankly - he's right! I live in Australia, and it's very much the same here!
I don't think that you're quite as alone as you might think when you say:
In life I've realized Love is fictional. So I've only ever asked for Honesty, Loyalty, and Respect. Yet those three things seem to be a foreign language to the people in this world today.
I'm inclined to agree with most of what you - say - I do have a roof over my head - and my two sons (all I have left of my family) do care about me - yes, they love me, and I love them, but outside that little bubble - everything feels one dimensional - friendships aren't what they used to be.
I hope you enjoy your time here at WDC, though and if you like writing there is always someone around -like me -who will be happy to review you. In my case just remember that Australia - is about 15 hours ahead of you!
The moon was almost directly overhead, and the stump, normally a tan slab with countless rings had taken on the moon's silvery character, looking almost like a pool with concentric ripples frozen in place. The animals crept closer and looked toward the moon, and their shadows fell upon the stump.
I do this frequently, myself - and often self-edit a number of times to get rid of these double-ups!
* ... it was different this time. This time, the stars joined...
* ... They tramped and scuttled through meadows and brambles. They flew between the grasping branches of the autumn-dressed leaves. They slithered ...
All within 2 lines and does look repetitious.
Overall Impression: A delightful, fable-style adventure, reminiscent of indigenous stories, and one' which I enjoyed reading.
This story, "The Straw Man, Cometh" was written for "No Dialogue Contest-CLOSED" - and as my eye ran down the list of entrants, the title for this story stood out, to me - and there's a cute little picture to accompnay it too.
Below - is a chilling description!
Behind the glass sockets embedded in the Marne's straw face an evil lurks. To passersby it is an unknowing stare of blank unseeing eyes, but the raven can sense the cold, blackened soul of the bogeyman.
And...
As the New Year dawned, sirens of the straw man's coming were dispersed. Fires raged. COVID was birthed. Hornet's invaded. Hurricanes seethed. Bias ravaged. Hatred breached. Empathy expired. Humanity surrendered.
I'm not a grammar or punctuation expert - I have a sound working knowledge is all: enough to write a Credit-Rating Average/Essay. So, I can't pin-point the exact clang I felt when I read through it - but it's there, on occasion: perhaps in the mixing of the present and past tenses?
Here's an example of what I felt was a 'clang' moment
Within his body no blood vessels reside to carry required nutrients or the cellular necessities of life.
No spelling errors detected and the story is exciting to read!
I am in the mood for more reviewing and I chanced upon Prosperous Snow celebrating - from members here, at WDC - and I can't remember how. I'd saved the page yesterday... Anyway ~ on with the review!
This excerpt below (the first stanza) was written by her mother, who apparently, didn't start writing poems until she was in her early eighties! It's a wonderful idea and the poem is lovely.
Here is an example as well, of how the internet can provide opportunities to share gifts.
In the dark of night
When the sky is black
Who know what lies above
Just let your imagination go
It could be where angels live
To keep watch on the earth below
This recipe, by Shadow Prowler-Spreading Love Maple Cinnamon Rolls under "Recipe Collection" sounds delicious! I was scrolling through the reviews and saw a reference to this recipe by a previous reviewer. So, I came to see.
I used to make bread - its very satisfying when it all turns out! The aroma of freshly baked cooking!
What I liked
Your recipe was not only inviting, but it looks easy to follow, which is great for novice bakers.
Master Om has written a cogent, thoughtful - as well as thought-provoking essay-style piece. Very positive and for me, providing timely philosophical advice. Congratulations on a piece well written and enjoyed by me, and I hope, many others'.
Excerpt
We are all creators and we are all connected. Know that when you make a path manifest you do so not just for yourself, but for all humankind. And, ages and ages hence, your path...the connection that you contributed to the web of life, may well make all the difference.
No Boo Boos
That’s my 13th’ and … In case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight
"The Moth and the Flame" by Dr Gonzo has been with WDC for nearly a month! A prolific writer, I envy their inspiration and I've been impressed by their writing, too. The poem has an irregular rhyming scheme, which may be referred to as Doggerel.
I work in AOD and it isn't uncommon for the recovering addict to fall madly inlove - the symptoms mimic the 'high' don't they. But I think you should do this
Love and broken hearts go hand in hand
Enough to drive a person insane
To give up and spend the rest of my life alone?
Or get up, dust myself off and try again
Wrtiten for the "Daily Flash Fiction Challenge" "We Could Talk There" by Paul - Brothers! Huh! I have two sons and they are chalk and cheese, too. This story sounds kind of true, as well. I don't know that it qualifies as sting-in-the-tale-flash fiction but it is a very nice vignette, all the same.
No Boo Boos -Written in dialogue - with no narration & all within the 300 word limit. Well Done!
Wrtiten for the "Daily Flash Fiction Challenge" by WakeUpAndLive️~scary 2024- while this item was submitted as an under 300 word story it appears to be the first in a series of others'. This one was really good ~ with a neat twist in the tale to finish. Nicely paced throughout with easy-to-read font size and visually appealing by well-spaced on the page.
Today, I am going back in time... back to 30th June 2010 when this story, written by 🌕 HuntersMoon made its embyonic way into the world.
"The Big Bang" Is an impressive and credible story of space travel and the writer has a good, working vocabulary of the mechanics of science fiction writing.
The philosophy 'Murphy's Law' - which many swear by' - I believe - is the cradle for the whole story
Harlan Ellison is credited with saying: "The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity."
... (Murphy is...) more like a philosopher. He once said that nature always sides with the hidden flaw."
"I don't understand."
"Sometimes, you can be 99.9999% right but some minor detail can make you fail. In this case, I overlooked what was right in front of my nose. ..."
I encourage you all to go and read the whole story! You'll be thoroughly entertained!
Journalistic knowledge and the way the story was placed on the page, enhanced the story's cache, I felt. A good plot with a well-integrated climax makes this story a deserving winner. Smooth and credible with some excellent descriptive passages - nil errors detected.
Descriptive and imaginative 'turn of phrase'
Bricks, concrete, blacktop hungrily gobbled up the heat all day long, reflecting enough to turn the city into a frying pan, keeping the rest to spit back at you through the night.
A half dozen huge pedestal fans homogenized the human exhaust and spread it throughout the room.
Review written as part of
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"A Purple Heart" - something Nick - wrote for his mother! I had a look at his bio and I hope he won't mind my saying that he is 27.
What mother would not enjoy reading this poem written for her. In fact, These lines remind me - with pride- about an article dedicated to me, by my youngest son, when he was interviewed about his lead role... So this writer has written with appreciation and tenderness - in acknowledgement of his life giver! Brava!
But you choose,
To be a good version of you,
That's why when I choose,
Who I want to be,
I choose you,
For what you do.
Review written as part of
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A poem - a story really - "Miss Henrietta" tells a tale of misadventure - if I read it correctly and is as surprising a twist as is often found in Flash Fiction.
Yes, this poem has a macabre thread and will leave the reader wondering!
Mostly 4 lined stanzas with, I think .. an AB AB rhyming sequence.
The knife's cold metal in his pocket
Always made him feel secure.
Miss Henrietta from the door
Called out to say one minute more.
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"Tragedy Strikes at the Huntley Mansion" Word Count: 1,500: - written by Redtowrite - is a horror story! At the risk of being accused of offering up a 'spoiler' - I am going to include this excerpt!
Cole reported, "Window closed, an ax is here. I'm coming back to get you."
That was the last time she'd ever hear her husband's voice.
Suddenly, a strong force ripped the door handles from her hands. She pulled and pulled but couldn't open it again.
Well written and very engaging - I raced through the story once - then read it again for better appreciation. There is no happy ending to this story - don't read it before you go to bed - alone!
Error Alert
crimson, copper, brunt ... burnt?... orange
Review written as part of
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Item "Life in the 2020's" by Newbie, to the future wants to talk about how things have changed since the 1950's upto now. An invitation to a philosophical debate, if ever there was one!
I can remember how much safer things used to be - and quieter! I remember doing something which seemed exciting at the time - a group of girls and I met up one night to climb out of the window and just walk about .. it seemed very exciting! Dark... no traffic...everyone else was asleep .. and I think the moon was full! But we felt safe! (We were discovered and we got into trouble of course - 1968 - I think).
There are more predators now... drugs are rampart (so theft/robberies are up) ... also the gap in rich and poor has widened, I think. There's more violence... perpetuated and encouraged through gaming themes. Mental Health issues ... now there are more people with a diagnosis out in the community as the institutions were deregulated and that has inevitably increased homelessness...
With all the apparent trappings of modern ease and wealth - and accessibility of cheap gadgets like phones, laptops, cheap imported clothes and cars... things still seem to be harder and people appear to be unhappier than they were.
Thankyou for the opportunity to consider that question - I enjoyed giving that some thought.
Written for the contest, "Daily Flash Fiction Challenge" by Wickedfugitive is a wistful narrative whereby an evanescent girl seeks answers which expeditious and unimaginative adults cannot relate. It is not until she meets a cohort in dreaming that she finds reward.
I loved it! It spoke to me of things I'd like to be...
Review written as part of
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I read the poem once, then again, out loud and I started to really 'see' it. I've included an excerpt, below. By the way, I will say that the graphic which has been carefully chosen, complements the writing very well
My only criticism really, is that - my subjective preference - is that it enhances writing like this, when there is some sort of separation between 'stanzas': a colored font.. can make the reviewer take more interest in the actual message. Wrong perhaps, but it is a psychological 'mind trick' which can be used to good advantage - and ... why not?
I am no gentle daughter of decency
And no mercy shall be taken on my soul
But as sunshine fades and shadows fall
Ashes to ashes we all heed the call
Perhaps I lie prematurely
Perhaps too late
And perhaps not at all.
Written for "Daily Flash Fiction Challenge" by Wickedfugitive- "The Vampire Blues" is full of imaginative references such as the problem of modern society having mirrors everywhere, garlic in their food in nearly every dish - and the ubiquity of phone cameras!
The fact that this story won the contest is no surprise!
written as part of
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Weekly Goals (13+) Motivate yourself to conquer your goals this week! Post on Monday; update us on Friday! #1949474 by The StoryMistress
A new motivational forum with the opportunity to earn Gift Points, was creating by The StoryMistress - here
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Weekly Goals (13+) Motivate yourself to conquer your goals this week! Post on Monday; update us on Friday! #1949474 by The StoryMistress
It's a great idea and for those of us still stuck at home, for the most part - it was a pleasure to find something which would motivate me! Go and - Check it Out!
blackmagicwoman is a new WDC writer who has produced a number of items and I am struck by their ability to engage others' in their vividly described memories - with an excerpt/example, below: My only criticism is that it could do with a little more 'window dressing' in the setting out on the page. With some gaps between some lines.. centering perhaps - and if so inclines some little icons, or graphics. Never the less, the work is worthy on a stand alone basis and I have really enjoyed reading this piece.
Bring me the colour purple in its rawest form
And the Ukrainian words that my grandmother once used
The pearl that fell from my lost necklace
Bring me the fifteenth summer
Or my first birthday
My father's best days
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