I loved this! It was a great read! The rhythm, the flow and the rhyme scheme worked perfectly to make this story flow. I could feel the wrath of woman as I read this, and as per your style, the last line not only explained the reason for her fury, but made me laugh! Oh, the joys of married life! You did very well on this! Keep up the great writing!
This is beautiful! I could see the ripples on the water's surface as I read this. I love your last stanza, comparing the ripples on the waters to the ripples of friends in our lives. Rhythm and flow were perfect and the rhyme scheme worked out wonderfully. A beautiful poem by a talented writer. Keep up the great writing!
"indeed !" - Don't think there needs to be a space after the word "indeed"
Other than this, you did a wonderful job on this poem. Rhythm and flow was spot on (as usual,) and the rhyme scheme was beautifully done. I have often felt as though I was in this dark place of "Never Was"....lol. Keep up the great writing!
This is beautiful! I can really see the snow, the birds...and I can see the cat crouched on the back of the couch! The rhythm, flow and rhyme flow together so well! You really have a talent for painting a picture with words! Keep up the wonderful writing, my friend!
I love this! The emotion is raw. I really felt the pain as I read this. It was a smooth read, the rhythm and flow flawless. You say that this isn't too bad, but I have news for you - it's absolutely brilliant! Keep up the wonderful writing! I really enjoyed this one!
This was beautiful! I can really picture the snow, the deer, houses covered in white..and I can smell the snow as it falls. The rhythm, the flow and the rhyme all work so well together - it makes for a wonderful read. Keep up the wonderful writing!
I really enjoyed this poem! The rhythm and flow worked very well together! I love the rhyme scheme, too! There was raw emotion in this, and I could feel every word. Absolutely wonderful job! I did not see any grammatical errors that distracted from the reading...In fact, the punctuation helped your poem hit even harder! Keep up the wonderful writing!
This was well-written. A cute but sad tale of a cat abandoned by his owners, and then losing the only home he'd ever known. The rhythm and flow of this worked beautifully together. I kind of had to read it with a chuckle, though - the idea of a cat reading...great job! Keep up the wonderful writing!
I love the rhythm and flow of this piece. The rhyme scheme works beautifully. I really enjoyed the emotion you showed in this poem. The repetition of your line, "Where the world bleeds white," really accents the title. Great job on this - keep up the wonderful writing!
Wow! This was beautifully written. I can actually picture a dark-haired woman with brown eyes strolling down the street. Rhythm, flow and rhyme all worked very well to paint a beautiful picture with your words! Please keep up the beautiful writing!
I love the rhythm and flow of this poem! I could actually picture two people in a grave, in a graveyard. The image you included with this poem really set it off. The rhyme scheme is beautifully done. You did a great job of painting a picture with your words! Keep up the wonderful writing!
This was beautifully written. The rhythm, flow and rhyme sequence worked in perfect harmony. I could see the moonlight as I read through this. Wonderful job painting a picture with your words! I really enjoy reading your poems! Keep up the wonderful writing!
I have just read "Rollercoaster" and would like to share my thoughts. I admit, I am no expert on poetry, so use what works and discard the rest. But what ever you do, KEEP WRITING!
Rhythm and Flow:
The rhythm and flow of this poem worked really well together. The rhyme scheme played well to make this an easy-to-read poem.
Adherence to Style/Form:
While this strikes me as more of a free verse style of poetry, there does appear to be at least some form to it, and this works well throughout this piece.
Ability to Relate:
As a parent, I could definitely relate to this poem and the sentiments herein. You really did well to describe what it's like to be a parent - and you are right when you say that parenthood is NOT for the faint of heart.
Word Usage:
Your word usage in this poem was plain and easy to follow. I didn't have to stop and think about what your words meant. Great job!
Final Thoughts:
I love this poem - the style, the rhyme, the rhythm and flow. Your ease of words and ability for the reader to relate all made this a great poem!
I really enjoyed reading this poem! I feel the same way about blue cases and above! The rhythm and flow of this piece is great, and the rhyme scheme really helped the flow. The way you look at being a blue case is refreshing to see - the fact that you look for opportunities to help others and be active on WDC. Keep up the great work!
I loved this collaboration between you and Lostwordsmith ! The rhythm and flow is wonderful and it read very smoothly from one stanza to the next! And as a writer, I can definitely relate to the inability to find some inspiration and the frustration that comes with it, and then the joy I feel when it finally comes back! Great job! Keep up the great writing!
I loved this! I'm horrible at Acrostics, but you did awesome on this! I enjoyed reading - the rhythm and flow really worked well. I can see why your hubby loved this - It's full of passion and desire, and speaks of the promise you made to each other. Great job and keep up the wonderful writing!
This was great! I enjoyed the rhythm and flow of this piece. The rhyme scheme worked well. I had to laugh at that last part about the cat being turned into a man and talking about the mixed blessings that came with it. Great job on this piece! Keep up the great writing!
Wow! This was beautifully written. I really connected with you in the sense that your Mom isn't there, and you feel that you still need her (who doesn't still need their Mom around?) I feel the same about my Daddy. Your pain is evident in this poem. Keep up the beautiful writing!
Okay, I must admit I had to read this twice. Not because I saw anything wrong or couldn't get the picture..but because it was funny! It's really great when a reader comes back to read something just simply because they enjoyed it so much the first time! Keep up the wonderful writing!!
I really enjoyed reading this! You really have some wonderful goals for this year, yet you keep them realistic. I believe you can do this! Keep up the great writing!
I really enjoyed reading this poem. The rhythm and flow worked really well. I'm not real familiar with strict form poetry, but I believe that you did well in adhering to the form of a sonnet. I really felt the sentiments in this poem of wanting God's peace - and to be used by God. Keep up the wonderful writing!
I really enjoyed reading this! Rhythm and flow were perfect. This is a beautiful tribute to both our country, and the men and women who fight for our country! I have no suggestions for improvement on this piece. While I'm not familiar with poetry style or form, based on your descriptions at the bottom, I believe you did well in keeping with that form. Keep up the wonderful writing!
I just read your item, "A Charmed Life, Chapter 3" and would like to share my humble thoughts with you Please bear in mind these are just my thoughts. Use what works for you and discard the rest.
Plot:
The plot for this story was easy to follow, easy for me to determine, and matched well with your description of your item. My attention was grabbed within the first few lines and held throughout the entire chapter. I did not see any holes in the plot that made it difficult to stay with the theme of the story.
Characterization:
Your characterizations were realistic as much as can be with giants in a story. But overall, your characters were believable, and I could relate to the emotions of each one. Very well done in describing your characters and their emotions!
Grammar:
Grammar, punctuation and spelling were all consistently acceptable in the fact that they did not distract the reader. However, I might suggest running spell check just to be sure. I think between Chapter 2 and Chapter 3, there might have been one or two spelling mistakes that a spell check would quickly find and fix. Other than that, I didn't see any issues here.
Flow of Chapter or Story:
The flow of each chapter within itself, and the flow of the story from chapter to chapter was natural. I really like the idea of leaving the link to the next chapter at the bottom of the page. It made it much easier to go from chapter to chapter.
Dialogue:
Dialogue between the characters seemed natural and it was easy to determine who was speaking at which point in the story. Great job!
Setting:
I could really picture the scenes as I read through. The descriptions of the settings, the characters involved, it all flowed very natural and was really easy to see the picture in my mind. Wonderful!
Other Comments:
Before I reviewed Chapter 3, I also read through Chapter 1 and Chapter 2. I really believe this will turn out to be a wonderful, engaging fantasy novel. Keep up the wonderful writing!
If you have any questions, please feel free to email me back! Thank you for sharing!
I just read your item, "The Long Wait, Part 1" and would like to share my humble thoughts with you Please bear in mind these are just my thoughts. Use what works for you and discard the rest.
Plot:
It was plain that the plot of this story was a rekindled love after 10 years of separation. For me, it grabbed my attention and kept my attention throughout the entire chapter. I didn't see any holes in the plot. Well done in this area.
Characterization:
Your characters, their personalities, their manner of speaking...it was all believable. Each character had their own voice, their own way of thinking. My only suggestions in this area would be to describe a little bit more about how they met, what attracted them to each other. Otherwise well done in this area.
Grammar:
I did not see any issues with grammar, punctuation, spelling. This is not to say that there weren't any - just that they were so minor that I did not notice them. Well done in this area.
Flow of Chapter or Story:
This flowed quite well. I did not see anything that interrupted the flow of the story, nor did I see anything that suddenly started or stopped the flow of the story. Well done in this area.
Dialogue:
The dialogue seemed to flow naturally. Dialogue in this chapter was easy to follow, easy to distinguish from the other parts of the story. Well done here as well.
Setting:
The setting seemed natural. However, that being said, I would like to see more descriptions about where Ru was...what color was his couch? What was the layout of the living room? Was there light coming in from the windows or was there a lamp on, or was he in the dark? I really believe with just a little bit more description, your reader could really picture the scene as Ru talked on the phone with Myra.
Other Comments:
To me, this was an intriguing story. One of the things that kept my attention throughout was just the fact that I could relate to being away from a loved one. You did very well in portraying this throughout the story. As I said in the above section on Setting, I believe with just a bit of work and creativity, you can really set the scene. You really did very well on this! Keep up the wonderful writing!
If you have any questions, please feel free to email me back! Thank you for sharing!
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