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Review Requests: OFF
1,621 Public Reviews Given
1,644 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I think my style is pretty honest. Though I try to find the good in everything, I give accurate ratings that express my opinion of a piece. Whether good or bad, you hopefully will understand my ratings by the end of the review. I give ratings that reflect the quality of the writing with 3 stars meaning "average". I only give 5 stars for items that I genuinely love or items that are more about effort than quality (i.e. folders, contests, forums, blogs, etc).
I'm good at...
Finding the most concise way to rewrite, tweaking structure and format, locating plot holes. Poetry reviews are my specialty. Quality-focused rather than meaning-focused.
Favorite Genres
Free Verse, Scifi, Horror
Least Favorite Genres
Romance, Erotica, Fantasy, Historical
Favorite Item Types
Anything with a short format suits me fine, as I adore short fiction (writing, reading, and reviewing). Book, static item... doesn't matter.
Least Favorite Item Types
Ummm.. Interactives & Campfires.
I will not review...
I generally don't do novel/script reviews unless I know the person. Short work is what I have time for and what I most enjoy.
Public Reviews
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601
601
Review by Cinn
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This story is pretty interesting, though a few things might make it a bit more readable. First, the word gorn is used a great deal, since the plural of the word seems to be gorn as well. Using some other terms for them may be a good idea. Using descriptions of them instead of repeating 'gorn' could work well, for example:

"He was in a very wide canyon with copious lengths of miscenoe vines, the favorite food of [his prey], hanging off the rocky walls. Around him were tracks [belonging to many of the furry beasts]. But not the leisurely tracks [indicative of feeding], but the frantic tracks of a Gorn stampede."

Indicative might not be a word you would use, but there are plenty of other ways to say it without using the word gorn ("signifying feeding", "indicating feeding", etc). His prey and furry beasts would be descriptions replacing the word. Of course, I have no idea if "furry beast" fits your description of a gorn, but it was just an example. Perhaps referring to them as a herd, pod, or whatever group you had in mind could replace it's plural form as well. What I wrote is nearly identical to what you wrote, but instead of using the word gorn four times, it is used just once.

Second, I've never seen bold text to indicate someone's thoughts in the way you've used it. I don't know if there's a right or wrong, but I find italics far easier to read and they are often used to display inner thoughts.

Good luck with your writing! I hope to catch more chapters if you're planning to share them with us!
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