this story did make me laugh and I even heard of some of the movies you put in it very clever by the way getting so many in I like the guy being gullible for once lol very nice good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing very well done I enjoyed reading it
this poem did make me laugh good proverb lol a wise man never dines alone I like it but then a wise man never gets married lol so that contradicts the first lol love the humour very well written and thought out thank you for sharing very well done
this is a really good srory I liked it very much is the main character dead or parylized by the motorbike accident and is that why people misread his actions I like the way its told black humour has to be written well for it to work very well executed thank you for sharing
there is nothing to review here all that comes up is chapter and that is it I do not know if this is intentional or an over site just telling you as you are wasting gift points so as a fellow WDC comrade to another i thought i would let you know thank you for sharing
Ok well let me start with points i like
1) i like the different colors they make the poem stand out the move told of the fruit and the bold writing was like a chorus repeating itself while the ordinary writing expanded on the purple which gave the poem depth
now what i did not like
1) it was too long and did not really say much ie the length did not add anything to the poem
thank you for sharing
i don't know if this worked but as this is the first time i am reading this kind of writing maybe i am not really the right person to judge it didn't do it for me but that is not to say it will not do it for someone else it was very well written and i did like the theme thank you for sharing
i liked this idea it reminded me of the little mermaid but i thought the flow was rather wooden and flat the dialogue didn't flow well and i found it unnatural and i found it a bit of a chore to read it in places good luck in the contest i think with a bit of work you could stand a chance thank you for sharing
this is a well written poem not sure i like it though mostly because i could not understand it lol this takes nothing away from the way it was written though i liked the flamboyant way it was written though very well portrayed and set out thank you for sharing
this is a very good poem i enjoyed it and loved reading it there was just one thing ' that it out beautify s the moon herself.' i would change this line it makes the poem jumpy and i had to stop reading to think what the poet meant by that i did eventually understand but for me it sploit the flow slightly thank you for sharing
when we are young killing seams to thrill us but as we get older we tend to find an inner peace which is good a very heartfelt story my friend about a young boys hobby which changed in time from killing birds to watching them thank you for sharing this poem was cool
this is such a cute poem i like the last line about Santa should know and you are right he knows everything lol very funny poem as well i enjoyed reading it good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing i liked the way it was very easy to read well done
this is a very well written story it captivated me and kept my attention through the whole of the story just one thing ' Her back was to him, so he stood there drinking her in' i would write '. HER back was turned as he stood there and admired her beauty' thank you for sharing
this is such a well written poem i like the way it flows and how the verses sound when reading them out and i like the way the poem had the sing song vibe it was a very happy feeling poem i found and a very inspiring poem i found thank you for sharing
this is a funny story and i really enjoyed reading it even though it was very short it was well written and gave me a good chuckle good luck in the contest if its a fair one you stand a chance of winning with this entry very much it was very entertaining thank you for sharing
i like this story and learnt something in the content although i have heard of the noble prize i never knew its origins it was a good way to learn he was in deed a great man and he did a lot of good i liked the format this story was written in very nice thank you for sharing
this is a good story but a bit far fetched in places for example if both of you are running flat out a conversation would be impossible as wouldn't you be puffed out and have no energy also the two people your character said hi to if it was me i'd write something like ' i waved at ..... to exhausted to utter a word ect thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest
this is such a sweet poem i loved the last line it seemed to round the poem off quite nicely very nice touch i like the rhyming flow and the nice way it sounded when read aloud and just the whole poem had a nice feel to it i felt it was a heartfelt poem thank you for sharing
this is a good poem i like the flow and the first line of each verse repeated very well thought out and portrayed i like the memories although we don't celebrate thanks giving in this country i got a feel of it through the poem very well written thank you for sharing
this was very well written but i think there was more telling than showing it was a nice read but nothing griped me and held my attention like a story like this should i felt my mind wandered and i think i should feel compelled to read each word the story line was good though and in my opioion this story just needs a little more work thank you for sharing
This is a great story it got me from the very first word i just could not stop reading you have emence talent my friend for drawing a person into your story only the really talented writers can do that i really enjoyed reading this very well done and thank you for sharing
This is a cool poem i like the way you wrote it and the rhyming sequence i like the way it flows and the way you unpack who you are on each line a little bit more very well written i like the way each line is tailored off and the sing song way it flows thank you for sharing
This is a nice little piece of writing i would not class this as a poem or a story rather than an abstract and i like the descriptive way you describe this animal with feelings and the language you use this is a nice prose it is very well written thank you for sharing
CHAPTER 1 ' Rebecca said turning and skipping off, still off in her own deluded little world, towards the borderline frightening lunch lines.' i would write 'Rebecca turned and skipped off, still in her own little world towards the lunch lines.
CHAPTER 3 this chapter is good but their are too many 'ing' words together. for example ' All I came up here to do was make sure you were okay." he drawled removing his hands from his pockets, i would say 'he drawled and removed his hands from his pockets
CHAPTER 4 there are too many 'i' close together and used in this chapter and 'I'm telling you, I didn't do it!" I pleaded desperately. I was sitting inside the principal's office trying to convince (Mr. Harris, Ms. Lawry, Jake, and the principal) of my innocence' I would say 'the offical adults' or something like that we know who they are you told us earlier
CHAPTER 5 'As against his idea as I was it made sense.' i would write ' i gazed up at him with a doubtful expression on my face '
this is a great story it just needs tweeking thank you for sharing
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this story was all over the place my friend their was no structure at all i liked the ending that was a funny twist but apart from that i thought it more silly than funny although the concept was a good one it was well written as well thank you for sharing
I have met so many great people on here already, this is a great site and far better than the other site i have been on. This poem is very hospitable and i hope to publish something soon. I like the warm feeling this poem gave me, and the even flow meter. Thank you for sharing
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