This was my first look at sometning such as this. Though it was not a short piece to read through, I enjoyed the campfire. There was some very interesting pieces of poetry written throughout this and I was happy to get a look at something formed from such a diverse background. Again, this was the first time I have taken the opportunity to give something like this a peek. This is a great idea and I am now planning on looking for such things as they are going one. Thanks for keeping this posted. A newbie like me is always looking for something new.
This piece was very well written. I gained some important, helpful knowledge in reading through this. You have demonstrated, once again, a strong point of literature and aptly passed on examples of its application. I began reading through this with the thought that they were going to be humorous stories developing ideas within the creation of literature. However, that was not what I found, but I was happy with the information I gathered. Thank you for this.
I applaud the manner of your teaching. I consider it teaching as I am learning. You make your points in an interesting way, using your sardine sandwich to promote your thoughts on the sucject. The use of the sandwich keeps the reader interested and is a nice relief from the tired, continual beating normally given to someone in regards to grammer.
This was very funny and it makes a good point. After all, I am so tired of the spell check telling me to fix a gragment when I was doing it in dialogue. I guess that bad writing is not always the basis for success. It is hard for some of us to completely break the fragment production in our writing. I rarely see it until I am rereading. This was a gret piece of work.
I enjoyed reading this doorway into your port. Gives me quite a bit of information about who you are and about what you feel. This has given me the thought to do something similiar as I begin to age within WDC. I appreciate all the information, the thoughts, and the essence of you that this piece has passed along. It is a pleasure to meet you.
The beautiful description of your character Archie still left me with an eerie feeling. As beautiful as you tried to make him, my mind simply put up a no trespassing sign. Beautiful idea here. You handled the short story structure very well and with such a marvelous thought. Great description and Archibald's steadfast strength in what he could do made this story well worth the read. I appreciate this very much.
Nice touch. You put a nice thought into a very clear, very direct idea. I prefer to see a signature wil a meaningful description of the author. I am not sure if thing such as these are usually reviewed, but it is one of the first signatures that gave me thought. Very well done Prosperous Snow. I need to find a story within your port now. See you around.
You have a very warm piece here. It works as it is, but you could expand on the idea of this. I was happy with it as a short as it is. It actually concludes well, seemingly she has overcome and found a place that she he happy with. You handle the descriptions very well. I could see her and get a nice feel for who she was. The use of dialogue was just enough, giving a bit of outside life to the existing story. Though you could lengthen this, it would be my suggestion that you leave it as it is. This was a good job. My only thought would be that a quicker hook would grab the reader. Only a thought. Thanks for allowing me to take a stroll through your story. I honestly appreciate the warmth I felt reading through it.
Man that was rough. I mean in the emotion department a rough feeling. You did a nice job for such a short piece. You handled the sense of the death and his feelings very well. I would have liked a bit more depth, but completely understand what you were doing with this. Good job
Very well conceived short story. I love the humanization you gave the booby. The bathtub seen was marvelous. And the attraction for Lindsay was nice too. You did a good job with the presentation of Johnny in this story. You handled all the aspects of the short well, development, a little crisis, them working through everything, and a great conclusion. It was truly a pleasure to have read through this.
Very sound use of the haiku structure. I have seen far to many of the single part ones and am glad to have seem you create an extended haiku. You did great with your words to promote the feel of the transformation. I am assumin this took some work and I applaud the effort. Very well done.
Very good use of description. The images are clear in my mind. I can feel what you are telling of here. I suggest only that you let the reader know something more about the physical appearance of the cow itself. I see the calico cat, the teets, the milking aspect, and the setup of the barn, but I have no picture of the actual cow. What color or what type or its size? I see the cow as a cow, but in this you remark "My old friend". I get the spine and the pale belly, but I would think that as your friend there would be something a little more personal than just a machine. Just an opinion. Hope the thoughts can help.
Your poem has a nice feel to it. Your words paint a majestic image and allows me to see what you are describing. Through those images I feel the pull of the whales. There was nothing over the top as you came to your thoughs with simple words an decisive lines. You did a very good job sharing your admiration. Well done.
I would say it is cute. Simple words and easy rhyme. Lacks the depth in your lines, but I understand it is due to the fact that you wrote it in a hurry. The fact that you acheived this work as well as you did is a credit to the ability you must have. Nice run at a five minute poem, but it seems a bit shallow. Keep up the good work.
Great thoughts here. I can clearly see the point you are making and it provokes some thinking. Nicely done. Easy words, strong sentences, and a good feel flow through this piece. I was glad to have given it a quick read through and can honestly say that you make some great points.
I enjoyed the short quite a bit. I enjoy the flow within your wriing. It did not come across pushed or cramped. The development of Nancy LaChance as the drive for this piece was handled well. I could se her through your description, or see the type of girl. You handled the story very well and I truly appreciated your conclusion. Thank you for letting me have a look.
Extremely short piece, but right to the point. I appreciate the wording you used and the quick description that mark it well. It is very pleasing, especially with the reader being a parent, and the simple use of word and line bring out the feeling you have included. I was happy to have read through this. Wonderful
Very lovely tale. I was impressed at how well it held my intention. I can tell you from the reading, out loud by me, that my daughter of four was also held captivated. That alone earns you my favor. A small amount of work needs to be done, but nothing that is major. Thanks for letting me have a look. I have gathered a few stories from the site for my children to be told and yours now joins the list. I very much approve and am happy. Putting the cat in boots was my only hesitation. Just reminds one of other stories. Good job.
Very short, but right to the point. Simple words make the reader comfortable and your images were great. It seems a little light, but nothing that really takes away from the poem. I think you handle the structure very well. Nice rhythm, easy words, strong lines, and a flow that does not kick the reader out of the poem. It was a pleaure.
You have a very deep thought running through this poem. Simple words allow the reader an easy read and your lines are strong. I would suggest a little more work though. The idea and feeling you present here are strong, but the poem does not always deliver on that strength. It is all there, around the edges, and I believe that with some minor changes your piece will become powerful. The flow seems a bit off here and there, mainly in two lines: 'It's an endless entrenchment with the same old alibi's' and 'It's an endless attachment to the road I choose to stride.' The meaning of both lines is important, but I would suggest some small change so that they do not sway the reader out of the poem. I wish you luck and hope you keep up the good writing.
Nice poem. The thoughts you bring through this were handled very well. It is actually a simple statement. Its clean words, strong lines, and smooth rhythm felt good as I read through it. Very touching. You did a good job with this poem and I was happy to have given it a read.
Actually, this seems to work pretty well as it is. True, I would have prefered some more dept, but I like the subtle, hazy sense that it left me with. No talking about structure, or rhythm, or it being completed. It doew work and, to be honest, left me with a smile. Feels right.
Very well done with this piece. You left me with a feeling of what you were expressing. True, I had to reread this to make certain of what was going on. I think I was looking for something else during my first read, but after the second, I see it. You actually did a pretty good job with your development. There may be a bit more you could do, but it holds well. Thanks for letting me take a look.
Fun short story. You did nice work with a playful, simple idea. The short holds the structure well and was an easy read. I would suggest that you add detail beyond what you have of the two characters. You tell the reader who they are, where they are from and their differences, but you do not leave us with a picture of them. I do not see them when I read this. I think it would be some improvement if you gave us a physical description of both of these characters. The story works well, true, but I think this is something you may want to give a try.
An absolutely beautiful short story here. So very hard to keep the tears from crowding my vision at the end of this. I am not overly emotional, but this piece ripped a hole through me. You did a great job in the story development and the pictures were so clear that it made the story rough to fully proccess. I hope you do not mind, but I am including this on the highlighted items on my portfolio.
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The beautiful description of your character Archie still left me with an eerie feeling. As beautiful as you tried to make him, my mind simply put up a no trespassing sign. Beautiful idea here. You handled the short story structure very well and with such a marvelous thought. Great description and Archibald's steadfast strength in what he could do made this story well worth the read. I appreciate this very much.