To be honest, my rating on this piece is more for its great appeal to me than it is of literary correctness. This was a soft, emotional work that was beautifully crafted by you. You wrote this a as a letter, so I assume, and you handled it exceptionally well. It was a pleasure giving this a read. Thanks for the posting. This is a fine piece.
I enjoyed taking a look at your flash fiction. I respect the subtle thoughts behind the words and have a greater appreciation of what you are trying to do within these pieces. You seem to handle this style very well and I am glad that you are allowing others to take a look at your work. Keep it up. Very well done, speaking from my feeling for the work and not fully on the subject of proper flash fiction writing elements.
Nice use of the painting from 1899. (I had to look it up) You handled this idea very well. I like how the whole holding thing came about and how you worked the story until that point. My only suggestion is that I would like to get hold of her appearance, not a nude but overall. I did not seem to be able to grasp the look of either of them. Great job relating to older things, the painting, the Hobbit. Nice sense.
Very good job with a vampire story. This was an exceptional read and there were very few disappointments. It was a true pleasure giving this work a read and I would love to see some more of your work in the future. The description talent you have has amazing potential.
Again, great with the description. The fight and sense of the fight came through very well. I had a problem with evil Kriten as I kept thinking, everytime I read the name, about red dwarf. The end seemed a little shallow. I get the meaning and sense, but just felt a bit like an 80s movie. Overall, besides any of my own opinions on these minor points, this was a great story to have read.
Nice follow up from chapter one. The writing is very good and all the details come through very clear in your descriptions. You do a great job allowing the reader to get a feel for the setting. Only thing is the story seems a bit of a repeat from other stories. Vampires trying to use DNA to form the right kind of vampire. This does not reflect on your writing, it is only a personal thought on the subject.
Beautiful description of Aeon. Love the red hair green eyes and the fact that you give the reader a sense of her look. Great description of the drunk and how she could feel the vile within his body. Like the human emotion she still retains, the emotion that came out after Kain was slain. Nice job with a vampire and human emotion.
Very well written into. Great pull into the story. I also appreciate the spelling of colour with the u, don't know why, but different from what I typically see. And I know, odd thing to like.
This was a very good collection of dark poetry. Each of the pieces seem to have handled the emotion and demonstrated to the reader the feeling of it. Great work.
Short and to the point. I have enjoyed your poems but would suggest maybe a little bit more of why this is. Inclusion of how the person got to this point instead of always that they are at this point. Very good with the thoughts and would love to see something of the emotions that brought you to this point. Thanks for giving me the time to take a quick read.
Your thoughts were written well, but the rythm of the poem does not seem to flow very well. It may just be me. You have a very nice touch with your wording and I have liked what I have read of your work. Keep it up.
Well, the haiku was well constructed. And I like the point you made. I would like to see what you could do with an extended haiku. Either way this works.
Darker than what I am accustomed to, but I see what you are expressing here. Well put together as far as poetry goes, I am far from good with poetry. Very heartfelt and meaningful. Good job expressing the feelings.
Brilliant. This was a very nice piece. I enjoyed the violence depicted in the every easter egg hunt. Funny thing is, you would think that this was the stuff going through the heads of these children. You had a very nice take on this and it was a pleasure to take a look at.
A few spelling and punctuation points need to be addressed, but the story was well conceived. My only suggestion is maybe a little more depth in the dark emotional drive of the story, The concept is very neat, but maybe needs a little more work. This piece has some good potential and I would love to take another read if you do expand. A pleasure to have read.
Nice story with many animal characters that children will like hearing of. Good use of dialogue and a great lesson. The piece was written very well and has a lot of potential. Keep up the good work.
I loved this one. Great poem and aptly demonstrates the thinking of a child. What mischief invisibility would caus. The words were good for young ones, undaunted being the only one that pushes it. The poem was smooth and had a great rhythm that a child could follow and perhaps learn. This is a very good piece and I am glad that read it.
Smart, short, concise sentences. Perfect for small ones. I get to know the cats without any over the top description. Very nice with the whole 'it' okay to make new friends' thing. This is a very sweet piece and I was very pleased to have read it. Keep up the great work.
Good hook at the start, 'It loomed in the backyard like a shrine.', that made me want to see, perhaps something great was coming. Well written from the child's view. One thing, was this a boy or a girl or did you intend for it to be an every person. I prefer the every person as it can be seen by the one reading it as their likeness, their thinking. This was a very well written piece and it was a pleasure taking a look. I have never had an experience with chicken lice and this made me laugh. Well, I do guess it was a learning story. Thanks again.
Well hello. This was a well written introduction as to who you are. But what about 'Misty Mountain Hop', 'Give me Two Steps', and 'The Same Old Song And Dance." (Joking) I like the introduction and was happy to look at yours as I am trying to find my own. Great job.
Spending so many years in seminary and religious study I do not find this peace all that appealing. The point is well taken, and your thought is great, but you could have written this a bit more demonstartive and drove it home with far more emotion strength. You have the workings of a very promising piece and my review is just to offer some input. Hang in there, this is bordering on the edge of something that can be very inspiring with a look toward the negative. Great idea. Thanks for allowing me to take a look.
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