Very easy to read and follow. Great cadence, though it felt a little like the Dr. of old. I do not fish, but can fully go with this poem on the application in another form. This was a pleasant read and I was happy to have taken the time to take a good look at it.
This piece was very smooth. Was hoping at the start that it was not a sox fan poem about the sox. Was not. It was a nice bit about youth and baseball. It brought back some good memories. I enjoyed this work. Allowed for thought around your written words. Good job.
This was a pleasure. A very good way of looking at events through your own corpse. I liked how the spirit handled his death and the kiss was a very good moment. Maybe he overhears a few things or perhaps is visited at his funeral by unwanted persons. I cannot think of any problems with this. Very good job.
I did like the short story, but was looking for a comedy as it was listed. It was well written, with a good use of experience, inner thought, and landscaping that made you know that you have taken these trips. The story does need a catch, something that grabs the reader and makes him/her want to see everything that is going on.
Nicely done. I like the fact that the child speaking to the mirror is responded to by the mirror in the poem. I understand that things like back and forth communication is used in a poem, but it seems to be used very well here and makes a strong point. I have enjoyed reading through your work today.
The poen has great intent, easily understood intent, but its rhythm seemed a bit staggered. I like the point and the way of the two line stanzas, but just the rhythm.
See no problem with the length. Short and straight to the point. You can see the love drive within the promise made. I see it as a promise. Very well done.
Honest and very appealing. Good work. I would like a little bit more frustration from not knowing where the kittens were at first, but if there was no more frustration than that I completely understand. Enjoyed the story, it had a very satisfactory ending.
Enjoyed this. Not a poetry reader, but have been spending the evening with a four year old and a six year old reading poems. Yours was well enjoyed, four year old is endlessly fascinated with a purple unicorn now, though fascinated was not her own words. Appealed to children. Great.
Written well, but it did not seem to hook me. It has good makings. I was expecting to see a real quick and very big hook. Perhaps I am just missing it. Thanks for the read and continue the writing. It's there, I can see the potential.
Was afraid in the beginning af a tortoise and hare thing, but it worked out rather quickly into something different. Some good ideas here. I do fear the comparisons for you the the old turtle/hare story. Very well written.
Just my type of poem. Easy on me, great for the kids. This is exactly my comfort zone. You seem to have an abundance of skill with these type poems. Keep it up.
Good use of the sister emotion. Reading this has given me some insight into a few things I am trying to communicate in a piece I am working on. Very well done. Sister to sister aspect is clear.
Good use of a major biblical event weaved into a children's story. I appreciate the understanding this lends children of such an event. Though I am not wrapped in religion, I fouund this story well composed and it held my interest.
I, as did my four year old daughter, enjoyed reading this. The story works, I have proof. It was well written and I enjoyed the irrational thinking of the younsters. Good job.
Interesting. Nice use of the night and of the fear, as I understand it, of the people loosing their sun. Good idea here, but I would have liked maybe just a little more. Opinion only and the writing and rhythm were very well done. Keep up the good work.
Nice bit of reading. I am not really a big poetry fan, but I did enjoy the tone and darkness of this. The use of the 'scraping of fallen leaves' brings back old memories. It was a pleasure reading your work.
Very well done. I enjoyed the indepth use of description to allow everything to be seen as if one was there. I also applaud the rock names and humanizing to those objects that was given. This is a thought provoking peace with, at least to me-intended or not-, a lot of inner searching. Pleasant surprise. Not at all what I expected when I began reading. Thanks for putting this out here.
Enjoyed the story. I have seen my children act similiar at the birth of the next one in line. I really enjoyed how you used Billy's emotional take on events to drive the story. Only one thing, if it was left to my kids at six to feed the dog, Trixie would not have made it. Great job.
Unique. Very good idea and a good use of description. Would have liked to have felt a little more for the butterfly, a little more emotional. I enjoyed this story.
As an idea, this is sensational. I laughed here and there and enjoyed the whole thing. Wound up to a finish a little quick. I believe this could be something grand with a little more work and length. Great job.
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