Hmmm. You did a good job with an uncomfortable subject matter. Great dialogue, but would have prefered a bit more of anxiety from his son during the discussion. In truth, it is far more difficult to speak to anyone about during that time of life. Still a good job, but needs just a bit more fumbling and uncertainty from the young man. God read.
Good use of the haiku format. 'Reflections' could not be rated but it and 'All Things Christmas' were my favorites. Very good demonstration of the haiku. Good job.
The stories have a very wide range and encompass the use of many different animals. I have read every story listed in this folder and can say that it is definitely worth a read. My perfect rating is for the overall value of the folder. There are a few rough spots here and there, but all the stories are well developed and this author has a great use of both description and dialogue. The stories stick to what they are about without any strange runs off topic. I am glad to have read through this.
Good job with someone finding there way in life. I would shorten a few things here and there, but it is pretty well balanced and I am certain that it would appeal to many children.
Very nice story. It leads to memories of the prince and the pauper and retold royals switching to play peasants and such. That was the only thing I did not care for-the same old same old feeling. You did a very good job in developing the character and I loved the friendship that grew between Hop-along and Isabella. You did a fine job with this piece.
First of all, nice use of the ancient Greeks at the begining. Next, a delightful use of description in this story. No happy ending here I would say. Well perhaps for one of the two. I liked it.
Well, besides the fact that I had to look up ochre, I liked the easy rhyming lines of this poem. A very nice descriptive piece here. Rhyming is rough enough, but you managed to accomplish it a smooth cadence and kept the description very clear through the entire thing. As I have said, not a big poetry guy, so other than the words, did not care for hue being used twice, I cannot form a knowledgeable opinion on makeup. I liked it and it was somewhat unnerving. Good job.
Easy to read and understand. The cadence seemed to be handled well from beginning to end. My reviewing of poetry is rather weak because I am not a big fan of it and I only like what appeals to me. I have no clue as to proper stanzas or rhyme. That being said, I liked the way it felt to me in its reading and I enjoyed what it was saying.
Really dark here. A bit gruesome as well, but you handle the entire story very well. Some of the description you used made it creepy at points. It was well written and the only suggestion I would offer is perhaps just a little more dialogue to capture her anger in a bolder tone. Good short.
Just plain creepy. It held my attention as I wanted to know what was coming, where it was headed. You did a strong job of describing what you were writing and I enjoyed it. Plain words that led directly through the story with great detail. You did not flower it up with big words and you made it work in doing so. Keep it up.
A good start to your short story file, but I was expecting more to be present when I first entered. If the remainder will be along the lines of Amber's Bottle, I will be looking forward to having a future look at the added items. That is my only complaint, finding just a sngle story in the file.
I was very pleasantly surprised by this work. Rough at first, as I did not seem to be reading it with the right thoughts. So what I did, I reread it and came to see the respect that it deserved. The style of this piece was not what I am used to, but I looked in, paid attention, and got it. That's what reading is about. Thanks for allowing me a read.
Man oh man. This is a very well written emotional piece. The heavy ending was a great way to drive home the sense of loss and despair. I did not get to where this was headed until it was nearing the end. You did a good job of not giving it away to early.
This is a very warm short story. I like the detail you managed to put into this work and found it to be quite a good read. How true that a younger sister will continue without stop until she feels she has been given equal the older one. Good use of real, everyday events to make this work.
This was a very nice take on the yawn. The poem remained simple and the rhythm in it went very well along. For a short poem, I believe that you correctly gave tribute to the yawn, the moment that makes up the yawn, and the vanishing of that same yawn. Thanks for letting me take a look.
I like that you come across in this work as that bitter. The poem is very smooth and easy to read. No complications that seem to muck up the rhythm of the lines. Added to that, I will bet every reader has had exactly this type of moment. Abandoned and a little angry about it, or hopless. To me it can come across either way.
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