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551
551
Review of A Writer's Lament  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Kenzie, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your articles, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This article discusses how writing mechanically can crush the heart and soul of the writer.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
The title of your article "A Writer's Lament" is appropriate. When you evaluate that sadness strikes at the true writer's heart and soul. I enjoyed reading your article and found it both painful truth and joyful humor. Your words softened the blow with humor. There is an underlying tone of truth. Most memorable: heart words vs. composition by computer. Areas for improvement: N/A.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Well-written from the heart. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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552
552
Review of Balloon Flight  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Fyn, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of memories riding through the mists in a hot air balloon.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
The air was still as if poised on the moment. The balloon was aloft. The morning mists swirled beneath you. Birds flew beneath you. Rising on the wind you soared heavenward 2,500 feet. A time honored toast of champagne occured then you landed. Your souls were still in the air.

The title for your poem is appropriate, simple and to the point. I prepared myself for one glorious presentation of poetry. I wouldn't change a thing except minor error (?) in Stanza 2. See below. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your poem. The underlying tone is ethereal and heaven sent. Areas for improvement: N/A. Most memorable: the whole poem.


*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Unrhymed verse. Fine imagery, eg simile: air was still as if poised on the moment. Metaphor is used wonderfully well, eg. a country quilt. Vocabulary chosen is perfect. Description is vivid and expressive. In Stanza 2 you used the word beneath twice. That disturbed my reading slightly. Only minor error (?) I spotted. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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553
553
Review of ...and Fred.  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi HuntersMoon, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of a day in the life of a five-year-old girl.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
In the morning she patters down the hallway and jumps in bed with Mommy. She cleans her room and puts her toys and books away,. Some days they go shopping. Daddy gets home at dinner time. He swings her in the air, and sits her in her chair. After dinner they make sure the kitty is fed. At bedtime she gets into her Jammie's, says her prayers and she and Fred, the teddy bear get good night kisses. Then it's sweet dreams for Fred and her. This poem is whimsical.

The title of your poem is appropriate "...and Fred". Fred is an appendage and goes wherever his five-year-old bear caregiver goes. You don't know who Fred is until the last stanza. You can only suspect! I enjoyed reading your poem. It is so much like the point of view of a sweet young five-year-old. There is an underlying tone of jades ire to experience life and exploe the environment. Most memorable: Daddy swinging her in the air. Areas for improvement: N/A.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme pattern is consistent. was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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554
554
Review of i was here  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Marlow, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of the young generation's voive of oppression and madness.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
The voices of freedom are madness, oppressed so that young generations are given the title of King for moving a pebble. They rip language and do time's job of change. They scribble gibberish for no point. They remove our past and burn it. Your comment: Again I ask, please leave me be,

The title for your poem "I Was Here" is appropriate, meaning you were there before the madness of the young generation. I enjoyed reading your poem and found it grabbed me to make sure I was aware of what is going on with the young generation, ripping the language and burning it up. Most memorable: the whole poem is memorable. There is an underlying tone of panic in your poem.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Unrhymed verse is effectively used. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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555
555
Review of Rainstorm  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi KatVon, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poem, which I found on the review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is a canvas for painting a picture of your friend, who was born to be a rainstorm.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Your friend was born to be a rainstorm. Your friend's voice is heard throughout the night; His song is sung like falling raindrops. The world ran for cover when he opened up his skies, so he made his thunder silent and learned to bite his rainy tongue. Then he gave life with endless sun. The leaves turned brown and dry. They wished his presence hadn't been taken for granted for he can't be controlled. Nothing beautiful would ever grow if it wasn't washed with rain.

You have used personification effectively, and refer to the rainstorm with human tendencies, i.e. he becomes a friend of yours. The title of your poem is appropriate, "Rainstorm". You could add a creative hint, eg the title perhaps could be "Uncontrolled RAINSTORM". I enjoyed reading your poem, and felt focus was necessary, so I could understand your message, i.e. the many facets of a rainstorm. There is an underlying tone of your poem of mystery which made me wonder what would happen next. Most memorable: how considerate, to create a silent rainstorm. Areas for improvement: N/A

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme is sprinkled throughout your poem. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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556
556
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Brittany, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes a Christmas shopping experience.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
We rush around with no rhyme or reason, trying to get Christmas shopping done, and complain of going out in such weather. Weary shoppers shout and push in the malls. What happened to heaven from above? The family with the Christmas manger has stolen my parking space outside this store. It's the helpers who collect money, stand and jingle their bells who you're thankful for. They're what Christmas is about.

The title of your poem is appropriate, but it seems you could give more of a hint by calling it "Christmas Bell", describing that you are delighted with those helpers who ring their bells, collecting money for the needy. I enjoyed reading your poem and thought it accurately shopping at Christmas. There is an underlying tone of panic in the stores of shoppers trying to meet deadlines. Most memorable: The complaining and yelling of all weary travelers. Areas for improvement: N/A

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme is consistent and pleasant. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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557
557
Review of Scars  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Canterback, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes some issues in society.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You have had pain and problems; you've seen love turn its back. A sky full of stars reminds you the world is hiding scars. There are veterans without roofs over their heads. We care for soldiers while the wounded aren't fed. The richest dress and dine like kings while children starve. What if we're invaded, we kill innocent lives. What is the purpose of education if we tell them what to think? Maybe if we take a chance to learn about scars not just our own, maybe we could learn our planet is our home.

Thr title of your poem "Scars" is appropriate. It tells about the hurt which has left a healed wound which still leaves evidence: the scar.

I enjoyed reading your poem and felt concern for my country and finally my planet. There is an underlying tone of worry over the problems we on this planet face. Most memorable: We care for the soldiers when the wounded aren't fed. Apparently, we haven't learned yet the consequences of war. Areas of improvement: This poem is lengthy, but not much of it is excess baggage. A sad tale is lamented. N/A

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme pattern is consistent. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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558
558
Review of What Do I Have?  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Pony Tale, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes the adventures of the poet and a horse she thought was hers.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You had her gallop then circle in the yard. You gave her carrots and she cantered. She taught you how to ride, but she wasn't your horse. She belonged to Des not you. She's gone now and the track is clear. You thought Lil' Floss was yours. No one taught you how to lose a horse.

The title of your poem is appropriate, but it could be more creative., perhaps "What Friend Do I Have?" I enjoyed your poem, and found myself grieving like I felt you were when you decided Lil' Floss wasn't yours. The mare belonged to Des. Areas for improvement: N/A. Most memorable: When you thought the mare belonged to you.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Very nice rhyme pattern which is consistent. Good flow of words. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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559
559
Review of Isolation  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
H Leaf, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes the poet's interpretation of the meaning of isolation.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Your poem is written in a most interesting fashion. You say you have befriended isolation. She's not the worst friend and she's not the best friend either. You don't fear isolation; you are isolation. You have nothing and you feel nothing.

The title of your poem is appropriate, simply "Isolation". I enjoyed reading your poem. If this is a form poem, it would help the reader if you summarized the components of the form. If it is not a form poem, I think you have overdone the repetition of the poem. A little repetition challenges the reader to think and it gives your poem an appealing cadence, but it can be overdone easily. This is an area for improvement: Re-work the repetition. Most memorable: I feel nothing for I have nothing.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Unrhymed verse. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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560
560
Review of The Magical Day  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi BooksThatHook, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review two of your journal entries, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This letter is a journal entry by a ten-year-old boy who is lonely and calls himself fat.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Bruce, you say in your journal entry that you are a fat kid and most everyone in your class at school calls you names because you are overweight. Wallace and you were in baking class together. You became friends when you discovered how much you had in common: both the youngest in your families, both loved reading and Will Smith. Wallace, it turns out, was the most popular boy in the class and he invited you to his home. At school the kids teased you again, but this time Wallace told them to stop it. You never had anyone call you a name again after that.

Your title is appropriate for your journal entry., as it was "A Magical Day" when you made friends with Wallace the day he stood up for you and the kids quit calling you names.

I enjoyed reading your journal entries. I always like reading the bottom line honesty of journals., especially when there is a need for this openness to correct something, in this case bullying.
There is an underlying tone of happiness and relief from a burden of bullying.

Areas for improvement: N/A

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Well-written. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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561
561
Review of Strangers  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi T.L. Finch, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This love poem speaks of two lovers in love forever.

e:idea}CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
They are two lovers, an attraction too strong to sever. Their love lifts their souls; they are side by side forever, comforting all the ugly fears. With grave markers, they are bound together even in death.

It seems to me that "Strangers" is not an appropriate title. They are lovers, not strangers.

I enjoyed reading your poem and felt it was an uplifting poem of the transition of what happens to love over a lifetime, until later in life companionship and spirituality are more important.

There is an underlying tone of inquisitiveness.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Your rhyme pattern is lovely and consistent except for stanza five. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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562
562
Review of That Happy Place  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Fetered Poet, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of that happy place, now in jeopardy.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You see simple things, smiling faces and laughing sounds when love erases chains. The title of your poem is appropriate: it speaks of that happy place. I enjoyed reading all of your vivid and expressive description. You decide your happy place is not necessarily so. You let loose the happy place and seal with doubt. It is now in jeopardy. Areas for improvement: N/A

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Your free verse poem is sprinkled with rhyme, very pleasantly so. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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563
563
Review of The Marsh (Haiku)  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Starwriter, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the. public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes music made by the reeds in the marsh.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
This poem is a lovely Haiku. I enjoyed reading the variations of your Haiku with one stanza starting at the beginning and the other starting at the end. The picture visualized is quite lovely. I can just imagine reeds singing in a chorus. I lived near a gol course where reeds in the marsh really did play a tune and sang a song. There is an underlying appreciation of nature's talent. Most memorable: reeds singing an orchestrated song. Areas for improvement N/A.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.
Suggestions:
splendor NOT splendor
Did you mean sings NOT songs?

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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564
564
Review of Looks So Good  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Tim, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes the happiness and appreciation you have for your beloved.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You are inspired by the unusually cold and wet weather to go to the mall to find a good deal. You thoroughly enjoy and appreciate your beloved as well as her appearance.

Your title is appropriate and speaks of positivity and everything looking good from your perspective, especially your beloved. There is an underlying tone of happiness and appreciation. I don't see any areas for improvement. N/A. Most memorable is your description of your beloved's appearance and your cleverness of staying dry by going to the mall to find a good deal. I enjoyed reading your lovely thought.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme is sprinkled throughout your poem. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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565
565
Review of The Old Oak  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi. Starwriter, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes the old oak trees's community status.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
The old oak tree stands proud and provides shade for the community. Old folks gather round and talk about the weather. You can read a book. Children swing from the oak tree. Sweetheart names are carved in the trunk of the oak tree. The oak tree gives us memories of the Summer fest.

Your title is appropriate and suggests the oak tree has been there for perhaps a hundred years. It has a high status in the community. I enjoyed reading your poem, except for the distraction of repetitive rhyme. See below for more explanation of this thought.

There is an underlying tone that you enjoy the status of the oak tree that brings in visitors.

Areas for improvement: See comment below about repetitive rhyme.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
The rhyme of your poem is repetitive and needs to be re-worked so there's a pattern of consistent rhyme. In some lines there is a pattern of rhyme and in some lines there is no pattern of rhyme. The rhyming words are repetitive and interfere with my reading of your poem. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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566
566
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi. I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your , which I found on the. . Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
The Penguins saved Christmas since they had no choice n the matter.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
As Santa's reindeer were sick and the good boys and girls would not have received the gifts they earned if the Penguins had not been willing to get a little stuck in the chimney. Even today no-one knows who delivered the gifts to the boys and girls.

Your poem is magnificent, to the tune of the poem, "'Twas the night before Christmas". The alternating red and green add to the Christmas spirit of your poem.

The title is very appropriate to the poem. It reminds me of some of Dr. Seuss' children's stories, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". I found reading your poem delightful and great for putting a person in the Christmas mode.

Most memorable: Envisioning the Penguins sliding down the chimney on a bumpy ride, as they stuck a little to the chimney. Areas for improvement: N/A.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme is sprinkled throughout you verse. I found four lines that didn't rhyme. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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Review of Spark  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Turtle, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public reviewers pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This love poem paints a picture of how the spark could be reunited for the poet and his beloved.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You and your beloved were finding your way in uncharted times when you were new and shared the best and the worst of each other. You lost the tiny flame of the unknown, Can you give your beloved space in your relationship.? You need to be open to the idea.

Your title is enigmatic and suits your poem, "Spark". I enjoyed reading your poem and the query that you have about giving space in the relationship. Most memorable: When the relationship was new, they shared the best and worst of each other. Areas for improvement: N/A.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme is sprinkled throughout you're free verse poem. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of A Banana Split  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Tim, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes how to deal with life when it is not ideal.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Rather than fill himself with ice cream, fudge, nuts, cherries and whipped cream, ie, a banana split, the poet has decided his best solution is to be happy, live life positively and then he won't need to indulge in fudge, etc.

Is your title appropriate to your poem? I would be inclined to title it something more mysterious, eg. perhaps, The Meaning of Life. I enjoyed reading yo ur poem, thinking about ice cream and hot fudge, and even more reading about gaining power over indulgence.

Most memorable part Gaining control over indulgence. Area of needed improvement: N/A

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Stylistically, Rhyme pattern is consistent. In an example or two, the rhyme was driving the meaning of the poem, eg without a peeI. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they f exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Realization  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi. I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your , which I found on the. . Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Many decisions are made with the callous touch of fate.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Loop poetry is quite not my thing. The mix of 4 line stanzas as couplets with words repeated from one line joined with the same word eg, loneliness is like a bumpy ride in a vehicle that needs new shock absorbers. My typical mode of operation is one of smooth flow, graceful vocabulary fitting into context. That is not happening in this poetic form, although some would love to be jolted out of their hypnotic trances. But not for me. Smoother is always better. I am reminded of: Life is a husk. Love is a disappointment. I am but a raspberry seed crushed in the razor sharp teeth of fate.

Your repeated words: loneliness, hope, understanding, much. You must be looking for a double dose of words that appease. I'm afraid I have a hard time with words that repeat in such manner.
Enough said and the only poem of yours that I've ever reviewed that I actually didn't care for. I am sure it's the form, not the poem. I perhaps should move on and let someone else do this review, as I am usually inclined to do.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme follows pattern consistently, as well as alternating stanzas and couplets. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of By The Sea  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Fettered Poet, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
The poet is searching for change.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:{/blasts that exists in this old man at the s
The sea wayfarer travels the sea because he is part landlubber and gets security from the sea, away from the ocean, which doesn't have that same protection. I easily visualize the poet, muscular and robust, developing strength as he fights the lines, works the sails and climbs the mast. He searches for clouds and storms and loath the calm. He wants the waves to slapdash. his chest, so he can wake, then rest.

I think your title could be more tantalizing than "By the Sea". You could capitalize on the robust qualities of the sea wayfarer. Perhaps, you could title it "The Robust Sea Wayfarer". Just food for thought.

Areas for improvement: You might include more description of fighting the lines and climbing the mast. I'd like a couple of more stanzas of action of the robust qualities showing strength.

I really enjoyed reading your poem and an underlying tone of wandering the seas, never returning for a couple of years, showing the wanderlust tendencies. My favorite part: He searches for self more than beauty. Most memorable: My picture of the sea wayfarer fighting lines, and climbing masts.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme is sprinkled throughout your fr verse poem. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of One More Spring  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi ConnieAnn, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the unlicensed review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
The aging poet wonders if she'll be around for spring this year.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Your poem is appropriately called "One More Spring". You obviously appreciate spring and as an outdoors person who is aging, your own the joy and happiness flowers and birds can bring. Playful bunnies, gentle breezes, sunlight on dewdrops waiting to be caught. Winter was only a few days ago. Barefoot in moonlight, her favorite dance.

You have an underlying tone of nostalgia, caressing memories, but wondering if they'll get await. You're very thankful for the life you've been given.

I don't see any areas for improvement. Stylistically your rhyme and your flow of words are calming to the reader. I enjoyed reading your poem. It was peaceful and soothing too. Thank you for sharing it.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Very lovely rhyme pattern which is consistent. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Consequences  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Fyn, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This scientific poem speaks of the exploding of a star 1.6 million years ago.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Your title is perfect for your poem: Consequences. I envision the explosion of the star can be equated to death. The star exploded 1.6 million years ago in a galaxy we have yet to know anything about. I envision the explosion of the star can be equated to a prolonged death, as today the energy reached us. Somewhere in that far away place a new star shimmered into being. I liken this new star to a new birth of shimmering energy. You smiled and I smiled, We were turned around from an argument we never had. The dark side was enveloped in light and we giggled about the silly things in life. The two main players to this poem must be astronauts or astronomers who have knowledge of galaxies.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your poem. Thank you for sharing it. There was an underlying tone of deep curiosity and a real quest for learning and discovering. Truly a professional poem.

I don't have any suggestions for improvement, as the poem scintillates with "Future Shock", written by Alvin Toffler. and the significance of the waves of the future and how our lives will be changed.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.
Suggestions:
we were being NOT we were having

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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573
Review of Uncaged Grace  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi. Cubby, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the.public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This graceful poem about dolphins is an Englyn Unodyl Crwc form poem.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Your title is perfect for your poem. Yes, the dolphin is grace personified. It is also uncaged and represents freedom to the nth degree. The dolphin swims so free in tranquil waters of the sea. I visualize harmony with the other Dolphins, leaping high with such simplicity. Your form poem, the Englyn Unodyl Orwc, lends grace to the verse.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme pattern is consistent. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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574
Review of Winter's Touch  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi KJ, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems for our December Power Review. I found your atmosphere-setting poem in your portfolio. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes winter.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Your poem paints a picture of a harsh chill, an iced grasp. Cold wind pulls and the snow will sting. This is Winter's Touch. People who have seasons in their community will appreciate this poem especially when it is associated with Christmas, winter sports, games, activities and the like.

I enjoyed reading your poem. It was succinct and said a lot in a few words. I don't see a need for change, except to elaborate on what you mean by an iced grasp. Do you mean picking up ice?

Nice job of writing this Unrhymed verse.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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Review of Christmas Magic  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Winnie, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems for our December Power Review. I found this magical poem in your portfolio. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes the magic of Christmas between father and son.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Jack's eyes were sad as his son asked if Santa would be there. His son said the fire truck must be red. Jack knew there would be no toys, as the rent was due and the heater went out. He could provide food only. Jack prayed and asked for a small delight to put under the tree. Morning arrived and Jack saw through tears: Clutched in small hands was a bright red truck.

I truly enjoyed reading your poem. You evoked an emotion of compassion that any parent perceives at the thought of not having money to provide for the small joys of children at Christmas.

I as the reader wouldn't change any part of your message because great compassion is expressed.

There is an underlying tone in your poem of delight by the son and great appreciation by the father.

Stylistically, you have a very smooth flow of words in your verse. Your language usage, grammar and punctuation are quite acceptable. Nicely written.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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