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I'm good at evaluating the writer's creative statement or message. If there is no statement, the piece seems disconnected and it's difficult to see the purpose. Many readers would question whether there is a purpose at all. I'm good spotting language usage and grammar, punctuation and spelling problems. If corrections are needed, I'll point them out to you under suggestions.
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476
476
Review of My Lover's Wings  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Tim, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of a young couple's ability to soar.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You and your beloved are befitting of the most blessed relations. You even describe her embrace and compare your relationship to a bird with a magnificent wingspan: together you soar. You are but two lovers who conquer treacherous terrain with deeply rooted trust. You support each other with immense trials and focus with fortitude. I enjoyed reading your poem, as there is an underlying tone of imagination and great dedication to your beloved. The title of your poem "My Lover's Wing" is appropriate in that you give your beloved credit for letting your relationship soar. Areas for improvement: N/A. Most memorable: Your ability to communicate imaginatively. The point of your poem: Communicate and love imaginatively.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Poetic convention is used well, eg treacherous terrain. Metaphor is well-done, eg our bodies are sewn in timeless grace. Simile is effectively used, eg like a rapturous wingspan of an awe-inspiring bird. Your poem is Unrhymed verse.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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477
477
Review of Blessed Be  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Neva, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your poem paints a picture of whether you are a sleeper or a seeker.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
The mustard is Faith's reality in which the seed becomes a tree and love's Phoenix builds its nest. The sleeper is awakened by dawn's wind and inhales God's fragrance. The seeker finds the Tree of Life and shares its fruit with humanity.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme is sprinkled through your poem. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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478
478
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Rhyssa, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the.public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture and is a play off of a chapter in "The Hobbit".

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
The things in your Hobbit pocket are health related. They aren't Bilbo's Magic ring. They're medicine that goes from tube to pump to needle in your skin. You also have glucose intolerance and low blood sugar. They'll never guess what's in your pockets. Just follow Gollum and find the cave's exit.

I enjoyed reading your poem, as there is an underlying tone of secrecy in your poem. The title for your poem "What Have I Got In My Pockets?" is appropriate. Just answer the question. Areas of improvement: N/A.

e:pencil}TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme pattern is consistent. Well-written. Good choice of words and smooth flow of words. Nice job.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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479
479
Review of Poetry  Open in new Window.
for entry "Fur" Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
H Cat, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poem, which I found on the.public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This is one poem from your collection, entitled "Fur".

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Wolves howling in the moonlight long to bite as they stare at the sky. No-one knows why.

I enjoyed reading your poem, as there is an underlying tone of curiosity of the Wolves' animal behavior. Wolves are known to tree their prey: they get between you and the tree. Once they have you where they want you they would love to scratch you with their claws and then have you for lunch. The title for your poem "Fur"! is fairly appropriate, especially if the wolves eat another animal and leave the fur behind. Areas of improvement: You might offer more explanation as to why no-one knows why.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme pattern is consistent. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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480
480
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Thaddeus, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your poem provides a canvas to paint a picture of sunsets and storms.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
As kids you had no care about what life threw your way. No question about what to do today. Now older, you have less time to spend. Dusk waits for dawn. Sunsets are so grand you wondered if this one would ever be topped. Rain is much needed for farmers to grow grain. Storms bring danger Fearing we'd miss thunder storms and lightning bolts over Kansas held us in wonder. Wind gusts with bruised clouds sway and break treetops.

I enjoyed reading your poem, as there is an underlying tone of drama and appreciation of nature. The title of your poem "Sunsets and Storms" is appropriate in that you are describing those aspects of the climate. Areas for improvement: N/A.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Stylistically, your rhyme pattern is consistent. Well-written piece. Effective use of metaphor, eg wind gusts with bruised clouds sway and break treetops. Description is vivid, eg fearing we'd miss lightning bolts and thunder storms over Kansas held us in wonder.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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481
481
Review of Broken Promises  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi. I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your , which I found on the. . Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your poem provides a canvas for a picture of the Earth's environmental condition.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Mankind hasn't learned that he has a debt to pay nature caused by his thoughtlessness. You have expressed the Earth's environmental condition in a most eloquent way. You describe everything imaginable from African food riots among the poor, glaciers melting too fast, deserts expanding , water pollution, and nature's catastrophes. When Earth is freed from man's thoughtlessness, in the future there is hope it will revert to what it was in the beginning. It will discover its balance and start to recover.

I enjoyed reading your poem, as there is an underlying tone of hope for the Earth's environment. The title of your poem "Broken Promises" is appropriate, in that mankind has made promises and not kept a solemn trust. Most memorable: One future day a green, tender shoot will push its way out of the Earth and the wind will whisper, "Let's try again."

Stylistically, once again you are a master of consistent rhyme pattern, smooth flow and proper choice of words. Metaphors are perfect, eg a soft breeze will whisper. Consonance, a poetic convention, is effective, eg bounteous beauty and description is vivid. Personification is evident, eg we grow and thrive from her nurture.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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482
482
Review of My Favorite Pair  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Elisa, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of a tribute to your favorite pair of socks.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You wash your grungy old socks with holes at the toes and hope they won't disintegrate. You love them dearly even though your toes protrude. You say you're too poor to buy another pair.

I enjoyed reading your poem as there is an underlying tone of security associated with those old socks. The title of your poem "My Favorite Pair" is appropriate in that even if they're falling apart, they give you comfort. Areas for improvement: See suggestion.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Unrhymed verse. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.
Suggestion:
disintegrate NOT disintergrate

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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483
483
Review of In Dreams  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Purple Princess, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poem, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of your loved one and the dreams you have of him.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Your heart thunders; your skin's on fire with burning desire. Savoring kisses of last night's dream. Now morning's light takes him away. In the night dreams come true and you are with him.

I enjoyed reading your poem, as there is an underlying tone of anticipation in your poem. The title "In Dreams" is appropriate in that you are savoring him in dreams. Areas of improvement: See suggestion.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Effective use of metaphors, eg your heart thunders. Description is vivid, savoring kisses of last night's dream.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.
Suggestion:
morning's light NOT morning's light.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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484
484
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Fyn, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of a limited imagination, which is the only thing that slows us down.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Fingers stirr wishing stars as dandelionn seeds dance on a breeze. Cartwheel snowflakes catch the golden glints of the midnight sun. Magical meanderings are limited only by imagination. Anything is possible.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Description is vivid, eg fingers stirring wishing stars. Metaphors are effectively used, eg cartwheeling snowflakes. Consonance is used well, eg golden glints.
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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485
485
Review of Unrequited  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi HuntersMoon, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This Shakespeare sonnet paints a picture of unrequited love.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Pale echoes from the past fail and hide in silence beneath a lover's veil. We started as friendly but she moved on. She never saw the love that grew . Had you courage but that time is gone, fading before the sun. You will remain apart in silent suffering. To open your heart is asking for more pain than you can bear, and still stand on your feet. Time heals all. You'll hold her in your heart until that day.

I enjoyed reading your sonnet as there is an underlying tone of patience and courage. The title for your poem is appropriate in that there was no return from the woman you were infatuated with. Areas of improvement: N/A.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Your poem is a Shakespeare sonnet of 14 lines with iambic pentameter. Rhyme pattern is consistent. Cadence provides a smooth flow of words. Effective use of simile, eg like morning dew. Good use of metaphor, eg lover's veil.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.
Suggestions:
The line To bare my heart is asking for more pain than I can bear and still stand on mt feet seems redundant to me even though bare and bear are homonyms. Perhaps, use to open my heart vs. bare my heart.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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486
486
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Tim, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, ,
which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of a lost friendship.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You have suffered a loss of a once loyal friendship. Your hearts now saddened are yearning to mend. The cause of your loss was your search for happiness and love. Once happy times are remembered. Past, broken friendships are a finality structured in dreadful haste.

I enjoyed reading your poem, as there is an underlying tone of regret over a lost friendship that ended in dreadful haste. The title of your poem, "Lost Friendship: A Deep Sadness" is appropriate in that you are experiencing deep sadness over a loss of this friendship. Areas of improvement: N/A.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme pattern is consistent. Simile is used effectively, eg like a songbird's perch. Description is vivid, eg Past glories in our hours of waste.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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487
487
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi x.Amaranthene, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes a picture of the contagious aspect of abuse.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You say in your poem that he has lied to you, deceived you, despised being seen with you, makes you believe that he loves you. He has wounded you, damaged you and for what reason? Does it make him feel whole and complete? A woman he had a relationship with gave him the same deceptive treatment. Why does he treat you the same way she treated him?

I enjoyed reading your poem, as there is an underlying tone of seeking the truth and understanding it. The title of your poem "Love, Lies and Deceptions" is appropriate, as those are the thins that happen in your poem. P Areas of improvement: N/A.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme is sprinkled through your poem. Remember to paint a picture; use detailed description to show your poem not tell. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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488
488
Review of Echoes  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi ltmliam98, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This is a love poem about a newly married couple.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
A lucid dream of the exchange of vows and the knot you tied is still wondrous. Refrain repeated three times. It states echoes of laughter ring in your ears. You're gone but you won't disappear. You and he don't want to age nor die. You sit and drink, feeling sorry for yourself. Take the pain out on someone else. Birds chirp, Babies scream and awaken you from your daunting dream. You say to excuse you if your words are too loud. The sun.with its fiery rays disappears.

I enjoyed reading your poem, as it reflects on a newly married couple's enthusiasm for each other. There is an underlying tone of young people trying to adjust to marriage. The title of your poem "Echoes" is appropriate in that there are echoes of laughter; you might be gone but you won't disappear thanks to the knot you tied. Areas for improvement: I found the message of your poem was not really clear. You might try reading it aloud and writing an outline. If it makes sense as an outline, your poem will make sense. Then write it again for the sake of clarity.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme is sprinkled through your poem. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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489
489
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Tim, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of the wilderness home of the beaver.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Nestled on a cool, restful lake in the mountains in the expansive wilderness of the Northwest is home to an historic and symbolic creature. The beaver exists among tributaries of the lake He dams the stream by his home, hoping to slow down swimming fish in an untame environment. He builds the dam, then rests and eats. The dam dissipates. He casts aside any fear of a relentless flow being tamed for good. The cyclical tone continues unabated.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Stylistically, rhyme is sprinkled through your poem. Description is vivid, eg expansive wilderness. The adjective mountainous in the phrase mountainous shores seems awkward to me. You might think of re-wording this line of your poem. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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490
490
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Musing and reality DLP, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you in a review of one of your poems for your account anniversary. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture for balance in an unbalanced world.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
There is disdain for cruelty and worldliness: You are pursuing compassion in an unbalanced world. Some days are cloudy confusion. Others are quite still on starry nights. You perceive reality fairly clearly . What lies ahead in unseen realities? Love is the substance; wisdom guides. Though you might not grasp it yet, there is a reason for everything. Keep on searching with curious concern to mend our souls and see what we can learn.

I enjoyed reading your poem, as it makes a real statement of looking for balance in an unbalanced world. There is an underlying tone of searching for a way to mend our souls. The title of your poem "Meaningful Perplexity" is appropriate, in that there is a reason for the perplexity you feel so make it meaningful. Areas of improvement: Check the use of the word distain. Most memorable: The statement your poem makes.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Stylistically, you have used metaphors well, eg, starry night of stillness. Nice job with the poetic convention of consonance, eg curious concern. Description is vivid, eg unseen realities. Logical development is excellent.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.
Suggestion: I think you meant to use the word disdain NOT distain. Disdain makes ore sense in context.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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491
491
Review of Destiny  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi. I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your , which I found on the. . Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of the poet's and others' destinies.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Life may be what we make it. It can lead us on a wild chase, a problem we all face. You alone can pay the toll for dreams you hope will come true. When you think you have time to waste that extra day, think about why you went with your chosen way.

I enjoyed reading your poem. There is an underlying tone of seeking understanding of how we end up in a certain path. Areas for improvement: You might want to think about the logical development in some of your stanzas. The title for your poem "Destiny" is fairly appropriate. Check the meaning of the difference between destiny and destination.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme pattern is consistent. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.
Suggestions:
Stanza 2: our destinies NOT our destiny's
Stanza 3: your destiny NOT you're destiny

Thank you for sharing.j

Regards,
GerMac

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492
492
Review of Dark Thoughts  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Archie, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the.public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of dark thoughts, literally, in the middle of the night.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
The dark, cool, delicious night set the stage for your poem. Stars devour the dark. If there are enough stars in the sky, they devour the dark sky. After night has had its way, birds sing in the dawn. Your poem had a syllable count of 7,6,5. I enjoyed reading your poem. There is an underlying tone of appreciation of nature. Areas for improvement: N/A. Most memorable: Stars devour the dark.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme is sprinkled through your free verse. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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493
493
Review of Rabbit  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Crissy, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of a gift the poet received.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
This delightful rabbit is not the kind you have to feed. He's yellow and white and stuffed. He leans against a wall, three feet tall, and wears a cowboy hat. He smiles and lifts your spirits high when you need to relax some. He reminds you of your favorite guy.

I enjoyed reading your poem. There is an underlying tone of gleefulness in your poem. The title of your poem is fairly appropriate, "Rabbit", but you could be more creative with the title. Areas for improvement: N/A. Most memorable: Rhyming triplets.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
The rhyme of your poem is done in an interesting way, triplets with two rhymes in one stanza, followed by rhymes in the next stanza, i.e. rhyme pattern is aab ccb. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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494
494
Review of Battling BiPolar  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
H Crissy, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of bipolar disorder.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You experience your ups and downs, your joy and pain with your baffling bipolar disorder. You leave people perplexed. You feel you'll never gain friends with your disorder.. The afterlife will be better for you.

My experience with children has been that in due time, if the bipolar problem isn't too severe, it is possible for them to learn to control the disorder to some extent. Rest assured and talk to a school psychologist. I enjoyed reading your poem. There is an underlying tone of patience and humor with the disorder. Those daily devotions are a great investment in your future. The title of your poem "Baffling Bipolar" is appropriate as that is what bipolar is. Areas for improvement:, N/A.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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495
495
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi. I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your , which I found on the. . Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of Fire Station No. 9 and a young boy's birthday celebration.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Cody's 4th birthday celebration is full of banners and balloons. Nine boys and girls are given fireman's hats atop their heads. They walk to Fire Station No. 9. Lt. Tom greets them and the children board the engine. He takes them on a tour, circling around the block. When they return, the children re-assemble and say their good-byes to Lt. Tom and Fire Station #9. This party seems to be the party of all times for young boys and girls. The message of your poem: It's possible to learn while celebrating.

I enjoyed reading your poem and felt I was there. There is an underlying tone of enthusiasm. and going for the gusto at Fire Station #9 and the engine. The title of your poem "Fire Station #9" is appropriate, Areas for improvement: N/A. Most memorable: the fireman's hats!

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme is sprinkled through your poem. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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496
496
Review of Dark Alliance  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Steph, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of a dark alliance.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
What is wrong! What is right! When life's lines are so ambiguous? They hide in the shadows of reasonable men's minds. Dark Alliance, framed in men's hearts, make callous decisions. The sword of neutrality waivers when neutrality and strength are lacking. It is often consumed too fast. I enjoyed reading your poem. There is an underlying tone of objectivity that the author is trying to bring out. If life's lines are ambiguous, nothing is said. If there is a dark association, decisions are not well brought out. Neutrality is a must. The message? Be committed; stand on principle, don't be partial. The title of your poem is appropriate "Dark Alliance". Areas for improvement:N/A.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Well written. Logical development is very excellent. Rhyme sprinkled through poem. Excellent use of metaphor, eg hiding in the shadows of reasonable men's minds. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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497
497
Review of Jesus is Lord!  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Ruwth, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you with a review of one of your essays for your account anniversary. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This essay paints a picture of the most important relationship in the monthly featured writer's life.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You begin your essay with "The Lord's Prayer" and show with examples that Our Lord did not mean for the Disciples to pray for, deliver, forgive ME, He meant for them to deliver US, and forgive US, He meant for US to pray, deliver, forgive in everything WE do. Prayer applies across the board to the whole body and family of Christ. I enjoyed reading your essay. There is an underlying tone of a real Christian spirit. The title "Give Us This Day, Our Daily Bread" is appropriate in that "The Lord's Prayer" from which your title is taken is a major part of your essay. Areas for improvement: N/A. Most memorable: Pray for Us, not Me.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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498
498
Review of Evenings Walk  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Mamac60, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you with aone of your poems for your account anniversary. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of perspective on life.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Solitude speaks to you on your evening walk and you understand. Joy and sadness are mixed with memories of youth. Everything that was and is brings you to darkness where you are able to heal. Night is your peace and where you go to think, remember and forget. I enjoyed reading your poem, in which there is an underlying tone of self-evaluation and putting things in perspective. The title of your poem "Evenings Walk" is appropriate, as this is where you examine your life. Areas for improvement: You might want to think about your use of the word darkness. It has a connotation of the devil or seamy side of life. I think you mean to say the darkness of the night. Perhaps, use the term darkness of the night, rather than darkness. Most memorable: Solitude speaks to you on your evening walk.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Unrhymed verse. Descriptive n is vivid and expressive, eg memories of joy and sadness are mixed with my youth. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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499
499
Review of Mexical  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Fivesixer, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Who is to say anything is for certain?

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Any man can tell you he speaks three languages. What do you do when the third one stands out in colors and colons? When diplomacy works at its best, you'll be at the border between romance and war. The fine line is as big as a country, like my heart or my grudges, but how would you know differently if you didn't know the difference? I enjoyed reading your poem, as there is an underlying tone of desiring to seek answers, especially when you don't understand the straigh forward, diplomacy or fine lines. The title of your poem "Mexical" may be appropriate. It needs to be researched for clarification. Online research tells me Mexicali is the capital of Baja California. I don't see anything on Mexical. Areas for improvement: See suggestions. Most memorable: caught at the border between romance and war. What is the message of your poem? It is not really clear to me.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.
Suggestions:
tell you NOT sell you
misjudgment sis NOT misjudge nets.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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500
500
Review of My Love  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Nalthur, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your , which I found on the. . Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of loving someone from afar.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You need her so much, you have to feel the warmth of her body. How I long for you to say those three magic words. I'm willing to wait for you forever. Even if you don't feel the same, you'll always be the keeper of my heart.

I enjoyed reading you poem, as it reminded me of infatuation. There is an. underlying tone of fascination with another person from afar. The title of your poem "My Love" is appropriate, in that this love could be one-sided. Areas for improvement: N/A. Most memorable: The long list of ways the woman satisfies the needs and love of man. If you can't have her in reality, you can have her in your dreams.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.
Suggestions:
You're so beautiful NOT your so beautiful
You're my princess NOT Your my princess


Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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