*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gmacintyre/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/24
Review Requests: OFF
2,457 Public Reviews Given
2,459 Total Reviews Given
I'm good at...
I'm good at evaluating the writer's creative statement or message. If there is no statement, the piece seems disconnected and it's difficult to see the purpose. Many readers would question whether there is a purpose at all. I'm good spotting language usage and grammar, punctuation and spelling problems. If corrections are needed, I'll point them out to you under suggestions.
Favorite Genres
Inspirational, Family, Children, Educational!, Music, Contests, Nonfiction, History, Politics, Legal
Least Favorite Genres
Adult, Dark, Death
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Short Stories, Essay, Article, Prose
Least Favorite Item Types
Survey Polls
I will not review...
Explicit Sexual Display, Erotica, Murder and Crimes
Public Reviews
Previous ... 20 21 22 23 -24- 25 26 27 28 29 ... Next
576
576
Review of The Old Oak  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi. Starwriter, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes the old oak trees's community status.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
The old oak tree stands proud and provides shade for the community. Old folks gather round and talk about the weather. You can read a book. Children swing from the oak tree. Sweetheart names are carved in the trunk of the oak tree. The oak tree gives us memories of the Summer fest.

Your title is appropriate and suggests the oak tree has been there for perhaps a hundred years. It has a high status in the community. I enjoyed reading your poem, except for the distraction of repetitive rhyme. See below for more explanation of this thought.

There is an underlying tone that you enjoy the status of the oak tree that brings in visitors.

Areas for improvement: See comment below about repetitive rhyme.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
The rhyme of your poem is repetitive and needs to be re-worked so there's a pattern of consistent rhyme. In some lines there is a pattern of rhyme and in some lines there is no pattern of rhyme. The rhyming words are repetitive and interfere with my reading of your poem. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
577
577
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi. I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your , which I found on the. . Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
The Penguins saved Christmas since they had no choice n the matter.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
As Santa's reindeer were sick and the good boys and girls would not have received the gifts they earned if the Penguins had not been willing to get a little stuck in the chimney. Even today no-one knows who delivered the gifts to the boys and girls.

Your poem is magnificent, to the tune of the poem, "'Twas the night before Christmas". The alternating red and green add to the Christmas spirit of your poem.

The title is very appropriate to the poem. It reminds me of some of Dr. Seuss' children's stories, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". I found reading your poem delightful and great for putting a person in the Christmas mode.

Most memorable: Envisioning the Penguins sliding down the chimney on a bumpy ride, as they stuck a little to the chimney. Areas for improvement: N/A.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme is sprinkled throughout you verse. I found four lines that didn't rhyme. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
578
578
Review of Spark  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Turtle, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public reviewers pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This love poem paints a picture of how the spark could be reunited for the poet and his beloved.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You and your beloved were finding your way in uncharted times when you were new and shared the best and the worst of each other. You lost the tiny flame of the unknown, Can you give your beloved space in your relationship.? You need to be open to the idea.

Your title is enigmatic and suits your poem, "Spark". I enjoyed reading your poem and the query that you have about giving space in the relationship. Most memorable: When the relationship was new, they shared the best and worst of each other. Areas for improvement: N/A.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme is sprinkled throughout you're free verse poem. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
579
579
Review of A Banana Split  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Tim, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes how to deal with life when it is not ideal.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Rather than fill himself with ice cream, fudge, nuts, cherries and whipped cream, ie, a banana split, the poet has decided his best solution is to be happy, live life positively and then he won't need to indulge in fudge, etc.

Is your title appropriate to your poem? I would be inclined to title it something more mysterious, eg. perhaps, The Meaning of Life. I enjoyed reading yo ur poem, thinking about ice cream and hot fudge, and even more reading about gaining power over indulgence.

Most memorable part Gaining control over indulgence. Area of needed improvement: N/A

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Stylistically, Rhyme pattern is consistent. In an example or two, the rhyme was driving the meaning of the poem, eg without a peeI. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they f exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
580
580
Review of Realization  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi. I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your , which I found on the. . Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Many decisions are made with the callous touch of fate.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Loop poetry is quite not my thing. The mix of 4 line stanzas as couplets with words repeated from one line joined with the same word eg, loneliness is like a bumpy ride in a vehicle that needs new shock absorbers. My typical mode of operation is one of smooth flow, graceful vocabulary fitting into context. That is not happening in this poetic form, although some would love to be jolted out of their hypnotic trances. But not for me. Smoother is always better. I am reminded of: Life is a husk. Love is a disappointment. I am but a raspberry seed crushed in the razor sharp teeth of fate.

Your repeated words: loneliness, hope, understanding, much. You must be looking for a double dose of words that appease. I'm afraid I have a hard time with words that repeat in such manner.
Enough said and the only poem of yours that I've ever reviewed that I actually didn't care for. I am sure it's the form, not the poem. I perhaps should move on and let someone else do this review, as I am usually inclined to do.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme follows pattern consistently, as well as alternating stanzas and couplets. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
581
581
Review of By The Sea  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Fettered Poet, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
The poet is searching for change.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:{/blasts that exists in this old man at the s
The sea wayfarer travels the sea because he is part landlubber and gets security from the sea, away from the ocean, which doesn't have that same protection. I easily visualize the poet, muscular and robust, developing strength as he fights the lines, works the sails and climbs the mast. He searches for clouds and storms and loath the calm. He wants the waves to slapdash. his chest, so he can wake, then rest.

I think your title could be more tantalizing than "By the Sea". You could capitalize on the robust qualities of the sea wayfarer. Perhaps, you could title it "The Robust Sea Wayfarer". Just food for thought.

Areas for improvement: You might include more description of fighting the lines and climbing the mast. I'd like a couple of more stanzas of action of the robust qualities showing strength.

I really enjoyed reading your poem and an underlying tone of wandering the seas, never returning for a couple of years, showing the wanderlust tendencies. My favorite part: He searches for self more than beauty. Most memorable: My picture of the sea wayfarer fighting lines, and climbing masts.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme is sprinkled throughout your fr verse poem. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
582
582
Review of Wait For Snow  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Brian, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes the season of snow and the poet's anticipating and waiting for snow.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
I enjoyed reading your poem, entitled "Waiting for Snow" from your collection of several poems from your iBooks. This line is easily visualized, i.e. Tender droplets of dew lick the autumn leaves on your front lawn. I wondered if there was a small animal licking the autumn leaves on the grass too. The bare tree anticipates not having to expose its bare limbs anymore i.e. this line, A bare tree can tolerate no more bareness until another season. I interpret your dormant heart as sadness. Here you give the window a human trait of patience, effectively using personification. I waited to hear description of how you felt waiting for snow. I'd like to hear the emotions that you feel as you wait for snow, eg You look out the patient window waiting for snow.

Is your title appropriate for your poem? You speak of autumn, the bare limbs and your dormant heart, as you wait for snow, watching out the window. I felt the title didn't really apply to the first two stanzas. It applied two the third stanza only, and may be why I was feeling a lack of connection and transition from one stanza to another.

An area of improvement might be making the entire poem support the poem's message. First, identify what the message is. Then paint your picture of why you are waiting for snow. Show not tell.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme is sprinkled through your poem. Description is vivid and expressive, eg, filched of its fruit. Good job with personification, eg licking the grass. Consonance used, eg filched of its fruit. was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
583
583
Review of One More Spring  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi ConnieAnn, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the unlicensed review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
The aging poet wonders if she'll be around for spring this year.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Your poem is appropriately called "One More Spring". You obviously appreciate spring and as an outdoors person who is aging, your own the joy and happiness flowers and birds can bring. Playful bunnies, gentle breezes, sunlight on dewdrops waiting to be caught. Winter was only a few days ago. Barefoot in moonlight, her favorite dance.

You have an underlying tone of nostalgia, caressing memories, but wondering if they'll get await. You're very thankful for the life you've been given.

I don't see any areas for improvement. Stylistically your rhyme and your flow of words are calming to the reader. I enjoyed reading your poem. It was peaceful and soothing too. Thank you for sharing it.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Very lovely rhyme pattern which is consistent. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** }


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
584
584
Review of Consequences  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Fyn, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This scientific poem speaks of the exploding of a star 1.6 million years ago.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Your title is perfect for your poem: Consequences. I envision the explosion of the star can be equated to death. The star exploded 1.6 million years ago in a galaxy we have yet to know anything about. I envision the explosion of the star can be equated to a prolonged death, as today the energy reached us. Somewhere in that far away place a new star shimmered into being. I liken this new star to a new birth of shimmering energy. You smiled and I smiled, We were turned around from an argument we never had. The dark side was enveloped in light and we giggled about the silly things in life. The two main players to this poem must be astronauts or astronomers who have knowledge of galaxies.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your poem. Thank you for sharing it. There was an underlying tone of deep curiosity and a real quest for learning and discovering. Truly a professional poem.

I don't have any suggestions for improvement, as the poem scintillates with "Future Shock", written by Alvin Toffler. and the significance of the waves of the future and how our lives will be changed.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.
Suggestions:
we were being NOT we were having

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
585
585
Review of Uncaged Grace  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi. Cubby, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the.public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This graceful poem about dolphins is an Englyn Unodyl Crwc form poem.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Your title is perfect for your poem. Yes, the dolphin is grace personified. It is also uncaged and represents freedom to the nth degree. The dolphin swims so free in tranquil waters of the sea. I visualize harmony with the other Dolphins, leaping high with such simplicity. Your form poem, the Englyn Unodyl Orwc, lends grace to the verse.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme pattern is consistent. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
586
586
Review of Winter's Touch  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi KJ, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems for our December Power Review. I found your atmosphere-setting poem in your portfolio. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes winter.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Your poem paints a picture of a harsh chill, an iced grasp. Cold wind pulls and the snow will sting. This is Winter's Touch. People who have seasons in their community will appreciate this poem especially when it is associated with Christmas, winter sports, games, activities and the like.

I enjoyed reading your poem. It was succinct and said a lot in a few words. I don't see a need for change, except to elaborate on what you mean by an iced grasp. Do you mean picking up ice?

Nice job of writing this Unrhymed verse.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
587
587
Review of Christmas Magic  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Winnie, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems for our December Power Review. I found this magical poem in your portfolio. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes the magic of Christmas between father and son.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Jack's eyes were sad as his son asked if Santa would be there. His son said the fire truck must be red. Jack knew there would be no toys, as the rent was due and the heater went out. He could provide food only. Jack prayed and asked for a small delight to put under the tree. Morning arrived and Jack saw through tears: Clutched in small hands was a bright red truck.

I truly enjoyed reading your poem. You evoked an emotion of compassion that any parent perceives at the thought of not having money to provide for the small joys of children at Christmas.

I as the reader wouldn't change any part of your message because great compassion is expressed.

There is an underlying tone in your poem of delight by the son and great appreciation by the father.

Stylistically, you have a very smooth flow of words in your verse. Your language usage, grammar and punctuation are quite acceptable. Nicely written.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
588
588
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Dogpack, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems for our December Power Review. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes the Florida snow bunny.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Imagine a downhill snow bunny in shorts, short shirt and yellow sombrero in Florida, skiing on man-made snow. Spectators are clad in winter gear. Skiers fly past trees on snow skis, heading south for a warmer climate or a coat. The snow bunny should have warm clothes so he doesn't freeze.

I enjoyed reading your poem. When it snows in the summer occasionally, I have seen people skiing in their bathing suits. The sky is sunny and warm in Mammouth, California. People think this is a real treat. It might be if they're advanced skiers and not falling in the snow and slush.

The underlying tone is adventuresome and enthusiastic.

I see some need for improvement. I was confused at times reading your poem. You might want to make sure you can decipher skiers and spectators.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme is sprinkled throughout your poem. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.
Suggestion: clothes NOT cloths

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
589
589
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Dave, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems for our December Power Raid. I found this very insightful poem in your portfolio. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem provides a canvas for the painting of a picture of the homeless man's Christmas celebration written in Hymnal Measure. .

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
This poem gives the homeless man's insights on Christmas. He describes the glitz of others who have homes and compares it to his homeless lifestyle, eg He "owns" a shopping card and all his possessions in it, a cardboard box for shelter, just like the manger sheep. He'll have a slice of pizza for Christmas dinner. He dodges the flu over a barrel fire and sings Christmas carols while facing wrongs. His dreams no longer thrive. He now celebrates the birth of Christ to keep his faith alive.

I enjoyed reading your poem, as it gave me insights galore into the homeless man's lifestyle. The poem's statement is to promote further understanding of the homeless man's condition. There is an underlying tone of heaviness combined with hope, painting a picture of the homeless man making the most he can of his life, remembering Christmas and his faith.

I see no real need for improvement other than lessening some of the detail of the poem and focusing more on the homeless holiday, eg the aromas of the donut shop and the sad lament of the scent of urine.

Stylistically, the Hymnal Measure is a wonderful.form pattern with two rhymes in tetrameter and trimeter, eg the sound of the song Amazing Grace. The link was very helpful to the Reader in understanding the form poem.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Very well-written. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
590
590
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Pumpkin Mistress Elizabeth, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems for our December Power Raid. I found your delightful children's Christmas poem in your portfolio. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes the jitters that children might have the day before Christmas.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
From the Reader: You have done a nice job writing your sweet children's poem that begins by saying that Christmas Eve is here and Santa's near. Good use of metaphors, eg Treetops are glistening and little hearts are listening. Reindeer hooves tap on the roof . I like the shortness of this poem of couplets written for wee ones. The underlying tone of your poem is upbeat and whimsical. I'm not crazy about this line, i.e. Little bodies sleep in their beds, as children dream in their heads. It sounds like some children have bodies and other children have heads. You might want to work on that wording. This next line is sooo typical of children at Christmas. One day to them is like a hundred days. They just can't wait until the next day because Santa's on his way. Rhyme is fairly consistent pattern except stanza three in this free verse poem.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.
Generally, well-written. Suggestion: hooves NOT hoofs

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac {image:4000

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
591
591
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Moarzjasac, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems for our December Review Raid. I found this delightful winter poem in your portfolio. It is perfect for children at Christmas. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes the magical quality of a new fallen snow. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your poem.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You have a magnificent way of using metaphor. The overall tone of your poem is one of pure silent new fallen snow. An example of your metaphor follows, eg A soft down quilt of new fallen snow is silent and forms a thick blanket. My favorite part: This is the perfect Christmas poem. Imagine a smooth cushion of feather soft flakes with little children's footprints buried beneath its surface. The conclusion: At the end of the day the soft glow of a street lamp becomes a weak orb in the gentle darkness of new fallen snow.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed. No issue with language usage, grammar or spelling. Punctuation is perfect. Good job.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
592
592
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Harry, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This story poem is about a man who waits patiently in the doctor's office while trying to lower his blood pressure. He could be a Bob Hope type or a male Phyllis Diller.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
From the Reader: The man in the doctor's office waiting to have his blood pressure taken, curses the driving of a little old lady. His thoughts turned to his daughter's no-account husband who wanted a loan from his father-in-law to start a tattoo business; his fine son, who failed out of LSU and now will take 7 years to graduate while living with a stripper; his own desired online acclaim in poetry. He can't see the doctor, as his blood pressure is still too high for some reason. This story poem is most enjoyable to read. Write on!

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Consistent rhyme pattern. Good humor. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
593
593
Review of My Father's Hands  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi HuntersMoon, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes the strength and comfort the poet's father could give to him.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
From the Reader: The poet's dad's hands are miracles and keep a sad world an arm's length from his child. An embrace is used to nurture and guide the child . Pride was never part of the embrace. His hands outwardly speak of duty. In the poet's eyes they shine of beauty. When he needed comfort as he grew up, he felt an angel's touch on his shoulder. A sentiment of love iand gratitude is reminisced for your father. How fabulous to receive omfort from a memory.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme pattern is consistent. Logical development makes a strong statement. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
594
594
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Jeff, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is a chinquapin about the life habits of birds.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
From the Reader: The syllables in this cinquain are divided in an interesting fashion: 2,4,6,8,2 in 5 lines and makes for interesting rhyme and rhythm. The birds are chirping, munching, hanging precariously, life in the branches, they are content. Your poem has a pleasant underlying tone and is easily visualized.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
595
595
Review of Cakes & Circuses  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi Guardians of Worlds, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you with a review of one of your poems for your account anniversary. . Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes the thoughts that the poet has of another.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
From the Reader: What is the message in this poem? You have given your thoughts on the matter, i.e., someone thinks you and some associates are dunces, etc. A report on the disagreement to an ombudsman might help in the future.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Unrhymed verse. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
596
596
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Ruby, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you with a review of one of your account anniversary. . Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is about the consequences earned by one's lifestyle.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
From the Reader: The poet could perhaps say, "I died and went to heaven." Just one small change could land a person in hell for something so small as wishing a person's life unwell. When people tell a little white lie, they are one step closer to an unfortunate life because we put those who love us in strife. We make mistakes, but if we learn from them, we gain strength. When we speak hastily, we increase our chances of ending up in purgatory. (Limbo is for innocent babies and children.). Therefore, think before you speak. Language needs to be deciphered in your poem. A strong statement is made, but language is somewhat cryptic and not easy to understand.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
ILogical development is good. Rhyme pattern is consistent except Stanza 3. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
597
597
Review of Fading storm  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi -Lusername, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you with a review of one of your poems for your account anniversary. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem is about a hollow tune, the wind blowing across the poet's face.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
From the Reader: The premise of this poem: The cold sea water makes life grow. The whistles of the trees in the rain are drums of pain. Light breaks through the storm. There is a symphony of light and color. The clouds no longer cry. The wind blows across the field. There is a good harvest yield. Your poem is loaded with personification, the assigning of human traits to inanimate objects, eg the sea speaks. Poetic convention of consonance is used, eg sorrowful sound. Metaphors are loaded in your poem, eg symphony of light and color. Vivid description, eg light breaks through the storm.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme pattern is fairly consistent. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
598
598
Review of Lost  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Cynaemon, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you with a review one of your poems for your account anniversary. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This is a love poem from the story "Five Little Words".

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
From the Reader: The lovers' relationship is not stable. It is obvious in the way they relate to each other. It seems to the reader that they need a minister or other person capable of helping them to gain a stable footing and bring maturity into the relationship. The poet stares at her, torn between love and hate. Words don't tell his thoughts, but his eyes betray his longing. She wills him to the safety of her encircling arms. There are two steps between the lovers, love and forgiveness. One tear gave away his iron-willed self-control. Finally he plunged the knife into his heart. She stands there, lost.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme is sprinkled in your poem. Some nice use of metaphors, eg on the knife edge of a sword. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
599
599
Review of Internal Fire  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Iris, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you with a review of one of your poems for your account anniversary. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes how the poet feels about soothing anxiety and pain.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
From the Reader: You speak in metaphors that are vibrant and highly descriptive. You ask that pins be taken from your skin. Cool the fire in your breath. You'd like to be a tree, steadfast and slow. Make you still and the world quiet again.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:.
Rhyme is sprinkled in your poem. Excellent use of metaphors throughout your Poem. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** .


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
600
600
Review of Tender Touch  
Review by GerMac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi B4Heart, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to honor you with a review of one of your poems for your account anniversary. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes bonding between mother and child.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:{
From the Reader: Baby awakes alone in a dark room with crocodile tears. Mother picks up baby and baby's fears go away, replaced by a big smile. Mother helps child with teething, hunger, diaper rash. Mother appears and crocodile tears disappear. Mother loves Baby and Baby loves Mother's tender touch.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme pattern is consistent. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** .


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1,302 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 53 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gmacintyre/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/24