I hope you are having a wonderful Anniversary Month! I visited your blog and read several of your entries. I have to say I really enjoyed them. I love the connections you make in some of them. Like you not wearing pearls as you clean out the china cabinet you inherited from your mom. Like Joan Collins would do! LOVED that!
I also enjoyed the one Beyond The Gate. You did such an excellent job giving the reader info about the soap opera. I haven't seen it yet, but plan on looking into it now. That was a great prompt and an excellent post based on the prompt.
I'll be sure to stop in and visit your blog much more often! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and wit with us.
Bless your hearts! Especially yours! Kudos for learning how to back up into the driveway and pull the boat out of the water. Not easy tasks. Oh man, ya'll really had a time with that boat, didn't you?
My husband and I went through our own boat story, but ours was just putting money into the boat itself, fixing it up. You're right; financially challenged people do not need to own boats (besides row boats); they're painful and expensive!
I enjoyed your tale, though I did cringe and feel bad for ya'll
I enjoyed reading about your beliefs. I don't know how people think God didn't create us and the world either. For proof, all you have to do is study the odds of everything fitting together like it does. I also don't know how others get through life without God. I would have thrown in the towel ages ago without him in my life. I thank Him all the time for His love, mercy, and forgiveness. I also try to remember to thank Him every morning for another beautiful day (no matter the weather).
Genesis is always a good book in the Bible with tons of stories. The story of Joseph is one of my favorites from Genesis.
Oh my goodness! Bless your heart! What a horrid and scary experience to have had. The surgery and long recovery sound painful, exhausting, and stressful. Even though the healing period took a long time, I'm glad you were able to heal without any further difficulties (like MRSA or septic infection). I pray you never have to go through something like that again.
Good for your husband reporting that nurse! That's a horrible nurse who should not even be working in a hospital. I can't stand nurses or teachers who take their jobs out on patients or pupils. I'm glad that she was removed from your care. I can't help to feel for the patients she was assigned to, though. Hopefully, she was reprimanded enough not to show her butt again!
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I know it wasn't easy
These are only my views. Please use or discard them as you wish.
Title and Description - Nice title. It covered the poem well. The description was a nice hook that pulled me in to want to read on.
Theme/Subject Matter: - The writing addresses a problem all to prevalent in the world: loneliness. It also tells of the juxtaposition of the world trying to pull one away from said loneliness
I think a stanza showing the active ways the world is pulling you back in would help pull the reader more into the writing.
Characters - The flow of the poem and the words help the reader get to know the character the writing is about.
Originality/Creativity: - I believe you put a good creative spin on a well known emotion.
Yet, he played the role of quiet observer.
His life was void of caring or observing
Since "observing" and "observer" is explaining the same thing your character is doing, I would change one of them.
Emotion/Impact: - The poem invokes good emotion. It would be nice if the world could pull in a lot more people experiencing such a horrible emotion.
Good morning, Jace! You were one lucky kid! I can't believe you only got stung three times! I would have liked to hear about ya'll running like crazy trying to get away from the throng of wasps! It would have put me in the story a bit more. But I did enjoy the tale you told, and could easily foresee a group of boys off to find what havoc they could get into!
Another story about my son: When he was about nine years old, he and a friend were across the street at the edge of the woods, and they were walking across a dead log. The log gave way atop a beehive buried inside of the log. An angry swarm of bees stung and encircled both boys, chasing them all the way home. His friend was stung fourteen times, and my son was stung 23 times. One bee got stuck between his two front teeth and stung his inside lip, which swelled up to an enormous size. They were okay, just miserable for a while. So, to only get stung three times was tremendously good luck. I hope your friends fared well also!
Hey Jake! I hope you had a wonderful Anniversary! This is a cute tale that (having a rumbunctious boy) I could definitely envision with no problem. It made me laugh out loud! You and your mom were blessed by having such an understanding neighbor.
When my son was five, he went to a friend's house behind us to play. It was a two-story apartment building. I was doing dishes, and I looked out the window, and he had climbed a ladder and was walking the ridge across the roof! He was a mess! So, I can relate to the mischief that five-year-old boys can get into!
Your story set the scene nicely and built up to the climax of the writing nicely. I enjoyed reading it and look forward to reading more of your biographical stories.
Thank you so much for sharing this story. It's amazing to look back at the holidays throughout the years and see how much things have changed. People leave us, and new members of the family join us. It's a continual change of growth.
Your story reminded us that memories can be made in the most unexpected moments and in the most unexpected places. It's a beautiful tale.
I could feel the love coming through your words from the grandson about his grandmother. How very much he treasured the experience he was able to share with her, and how much it made him have a whole new respect for her.
I loved how it made him reflect upon his life, to find a whole new appreciation for the love of the family in which he was blessed to be raised.
Thank you for giving us a story that encourages the reader to reflect back on their past Thanksgivings, and remember what made and makes the holidays so special.
Title and Description - Great title! It pulled me in and made me want to read your story. Your description is to the point and shares exactly what the story is about.
Story Plot - Good, unique twist for a flash fiction piece. I enjoyed the subject matter of the story.
I do wish the story, and the characters were fleshed out a little more. I think there is an even better story just underneath the surface waiting to be brought out a bit more.
Characters - The characters made the story interesting. However, as I said earlier, I wish they had developed more. Even for a flash fiction piece, I felt like they could have been developed a little more.
Setting - You did an excellent job with the setting. It put me in the story and was easy to follow along with. You also did a fabulous job using Edgar Allen Poe references. Great job!
I really enjoyed your story. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
Nice story. I wanted to slap the husband across the face. He's lucky that she stayed with him for that long. After thirty years, it seems like he'd show her a little respect!
Title and Description - The title sums up the story nicely. The description gives the reader a good idea of what the story is about.
You may want to add a couple of more genres to go with "Drama". A lot of people find pieces to read based on genres only. It may help bring more people to read your writing.
The Characters - You do a good job with the dialogue between the characters. It seems real and true to life. It helps propel the story forward, showing the tension that's between them.
The Setting - The setting works okay for the story.
It may help add a little more descriptions of the surroundings. It could help the reader be able to envision the scenes a little more deeply.
What I Liked Best - When she walked about the door and didn't look back.
Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I enjoyed it.
I found your writing through the Read and Review Link.
This was a good flash fiction piece. You were able to hold my attention from the beginning through to the end.
A powerful attorney who is used to others doing things for her and taking care of her needs thinks caring for her new baby will be so easy it will drive her insane with nothing to do.
She looks over her kitchen, it's well organized and she takes pride in herself. Back from the grocer, to make a nice meal for her husband, she looks over the ingredients, when suddenly she realizes just what she forgot! You did a great job writing this part with realism and emotion. My eyes grew wide as I read your words.
You did a really nice job writing this flash-fiction piece.
You may want to consider changing the genre "Contest Entry" to "Drama". A lot of people find pieces to read by looking up specific genres. It may help bring more people in to read your writing.
Thanks so much for sharing your writing with us. I enjoyed it.
This was a good story. You caught my attention from the beginning and held it all the way through. You did an excellent job using the prompts and writing the story within the time constraint.
Great job with writing descriptions. I was easily able to envision each scene as I read. The descriptions of the grown man with the mentality of a young child who is easily distracted were done well.
I did wonder if he was like that from birth, or if something happened to make him that way. Not that it's necessary for the story, it's just my curiosity.
Dialogue between the two was relaxed and did not seem forced. It helped propel the story forward at a nice pace.
I only have one minor suggestion:
“This is yuge."
"This is huge."
Thanks for sharing your entertaining story with us. I enjoyed it.
This is a cute story. I'm going to let my granddaughter read it, I know she'll love it.
The dialogue between the cats flowed smoothly and they sounded like they were all very comfortable around each other. Their ruse to be awakened when Santa came was a good one and made me chuckle.
You did a good job writing descriptions. It was easy for me to envision each scene as I read.
The only suggestion I have is to maybe break up the dialogue sentences with a space in between each one. It would make it easier to read, giving our eyes a space to rest.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I enjoyed it.
Beautiful opening paragraph that drew me right in. Your descriptions kept me spellbound. My mind went a couple of different places for the ending, but I convinced myself to just enjoy the reading experience and find out what was going to happen. You held me in suspense up to the very end. Nice job!
I have a couple of minor suggestions:
silent and impla cable,
There's a space between the a and c
You should find a third genre for the categories. Maybe 'Drama'. It may help bring more people in to find your writing since many look for items to read by clicking only on specific genres.
Thanks so much for sharing your writing with us. I enjoyed it.
Nice job on writing this fantasy story based on the song. Are you supposed to name the title and write the description based on the song and not your story? If not, I'd make the title and description relate more to the piece you wrote. Just my two cents
The characters are nicely done. The reader easily can feel the depth of trust and love between the two. This bond also comes through at the end of the story.
You also do a great job on the setting. The reader can easily envision each scene as we read.
The dialogue is well done and true to how I imagine they would speak. The relationship between all of the characters is also done well.
The only thing is I felt the danger of the demons could have been made a little more prominent in the story. I think it would have given more of the sense of danger they were in. Especially being in danger from them for four years.
A small typo:
Her protective flanes
Her protective flames
Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I enjoyed it.
Great job using the prompt. The story was an entertaining and fun read. I was a redhead growing up with a splatter of a few light freckles on both cheeks and over my nose. As I got older the freckles faded and my hair darkened.
Your main character must have wanted to be a redhead pretty badly. But she didn't know exactly what she had signed up for!
Your characters' dialogue was comfortable natural, and true to life. The two women seem to have a natural connection and hit it off right off the bat.
You did a pretty good job with the setting. I wouldn't have minded a few more details but you did a good job with the word and time limit.
The plot moved along at a nice pace and kept me interested. I was eager to see if she was going to be found out, and if so, what was going to happen to her.
You have a good title for the story that drew in my attention. I think you could expand the description just a tad. Give a little more hint of what the story is about. It may help draw in more readers.
Thanks so much for sharing your writing with us. I enjoyed it.
This is a cute story. It made me chuckle. I could just see boys coming up with a scheme like this! And let's face it, how many of us wanted to invent our own indoor swimming pool when we were young?
Your title caught my attention and your description urged me to read on.
Your descriptions and setting throughout the story were well done. You keep the reader engaged with everything going on with the characters and around the characters. Excellent job!
I love that they ran away to keep from getting into trouble. lol. Like the act of running away wouldn't get them into even worse trouble. Then with all that planning, they ran back after only a few hours because they didn't want to get into the same state that got them into this mess to begin with! Sounds just like the way kids think and behave.
Good job with the prompt. Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. It brought me a chuckle and I enjoyed it.
From the Part One comment at the top, I assume this is for a workshop.
You did a good job on the brief background of both of your characters. I think it's a great idea to use two secondary characters from your novel to see if they can make it as the lead characters. It also gives you the advantage of knowing them a bit.
Good title for your writing assignment. Your description lets us know it's for a Romance workshop. I think you should follow that up with a brief sentence about your story. It may help draw more in to read your story.
You did a good job with your story. You let us get to know your characters enough to already form a bit of an attachment to them and want them to hook up. The story was humorous and made it easy to follow each scene as I read.
The spilling of coffee in front of someone who's the last person one would want to do that kind of thing, made it easy to put myself in her shoes, forming that bond between reader and character. Nice job.
I enjoyed reading your first assignment and look forward to reading more.
LOL - She's got it bad. I've known coffee addicts before—I used to be one myself but this takes it to a whole new level. When you have to launder pennies for your fix, that's a whole other story.
You have a good title that fits the story well and your description is a good teaser.
Your character comes through as a serious addict in need of her fix. With just one look, her husband knows all of the signs. Nice job.
The cops were a nice fit to your story. The only thing that may have made it a bit more comedic, is if you would have had doughnuts to go with the cop's coffee - to hint at their fix for their cliche addiction.
You did a good job with the prompt. Not an easy prompt to write for but a cute one that produced a story that made me chuckle.
I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors.
Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I enjoyed it.
You did a good job using the song as a prompt. I like that you took the song's main message and based the story on it. I also like the inspiration you got from the line "You said life is a painting." It worked really well for the creativity of the story.
Title and Description - Perfect title for the story. The description grabbed my attention and urged me to read on.
Storyline/Plot - A father doesn't support his son in his dream of becoming a painter. He thinks his son is wasting his life. And after a contest leaves the son with no wins under his belt, the son begins to think his father may be right.
The Characters - You did an excellent job with all of your characters. The reader is able to get to know them all through your words easily. The dialogue you used is 'true to life' and brings the reader into the character's world. Nicely done.
The Setting - The setting could have been a bit more developed but for the story, what you wrote did a good job of enabling me to envision each scene as I read.
What I Liked Best - I liked that the one he thought would dislike his painting the most, turned out to be his saving grace. It also shows you beauty and art is in the eye of the beholder.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I enjoyed it.
Good, sad story. Poor old man. I wanted to scream, someone step in and take care of him! But how many old men and women are out there facing the same kind of loneliness and self-dependence every day? It's a sad story, indeed.
The Title and Description - A good title that grabbed my attention and the story piqued my curiosity to urge me to read on.
The Storyline/Plot - A little old, blind man goes to sit on the park bench every day. He clinches an old photograph that he can not see and a necklace, both belonging once to an old friend of his. Though he could no longer see, a smile still shone on his face and behind his blind eyes. He was new in town, and remained an enigma. Both at the end of his life and in death.
The Characters - The main character puts off an energy of peace and acceptance. Of a life once lived of happiness, caring, and love.
The Setting - You did a nice job with the descriptions and details that helped me envision each scene as I read. Well done!
Suggestions - I didn't find any typos or mistakes. Your writing is good as is.
What I Liked Best - The overall feel and message of the story.
Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us. I enjoyed it.
Tracey
"When you play the Game of Thrones you win, or you die." Cersei Lannister
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
This was a good story with a bit of horror, suspense, drama, and mystery.
The Title and Description - I love the title. It holds an intrigue and sounds like an urban legend. Your description is well written and urged me to read on.
The Storyline/Plot - A man is traveling down a road in Blackbriar Swamp. He has heard about the monster that has haunted this swamp for a good part of his life. He's on horseback when loud noises start to disrupt the peace. The noise gets so bad, it spooks the horse who throws the rider off. The sounds and loud thrashes get louder and closer. Will he make it out of the swamp alive?
The Setting - Good job with the descriptions and details. They enabled me to envision each scene as I read.
Whar I Liked Best - The mystery of what was going to happen, and what type of monster was threatening him.
Below are a few suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.
He urged the his horse
than he was expected.
branch and lit
A comma is needed after branch
illumination then
illumination than
his eye he
A comma is needed after eye
stood between.
stood between them.
his right had
his right hand
Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us. I enjoyed it.
Intuey
"When you play the Game of Thrones you win, or you die." Cersei Lannister
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
This is a good story that touches the heart in more ways than one. It's a creative and imaginative story with a chilling plot.
The Title and Description - Perfect title for this story. It fits the plot in multiple ways. The description caught my attention and urged me to read on!
The Storyline/Plot - A woman gets out of jail and gets on a bus heading for her destination. The bus stops at a restaurant. She goes in for a hot bowl of soup, on a cold, snowy day when she meets someone that will touch her heart and rattle her at the same time. Will she believe the truth?
The Characters - Your writing allows the parolee's personality to shine through. Though she's quiet and reserved, she also has a very kind heart and is not afraid of helping others. We can feel the little boy's sadness and loneliness through your words.
The Setting - You do a good job with the descriptions and details, so the reader can easily envision each scene as we read.
What I Liked Best - The ending. It's a great twist ending. I also like how the title and the beginning of the story come full circle.
Thank you so much for sharing this story with us. I enjoyed it.
Tracey
"When you play the Game of Thrones you win, or you die." Cersei Lannister
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Oh, that was such a good story. You did a wonderful job with the prompt. The prompt reminded me of Ebenezer Scrooge. It's nice that you took the story on a totally different path. Congratulations on your win. Your story deserved it!
The Title and Description - Good title that fits the story nicely. The description says all it needs to say. It was enough to urge me to read on.
The Characters - You did a wonderful job showing the love the father and son shared. The father's loneliness and desperation to see his son also shine through your words. The son's love for the father comes through his actions and words. The kindness of both is seen by allowing the orphan, Ralph, to become a part of the family.
The Setting - Nice job on writing the descriptions and details enough so that the reader can easily envision each scene as they read.
What I Liked The Best - I liked the whole story. I also liked the strong bond of love shown between the father and the son, so much so that nothing could stop them from being together. I also liked the kindness shown in allowing the orphan, Ralph, to move in. That also meant the father wouldn't be alone.
Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful story. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Tracey
"When you play the Game of Thrones you win, or you die." Cersei Lannister
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Oh, no! This was a good story, with a surprise ending I didn't see coming. Poor guy. I can see your wry humor coming through this story.
The Title and Description - Great title that goes perfectly with the story. Good description that urged me to read on. Congratulations on winning third in the Senior Center Forum. You deserved it!
The Storyline/Plot - A guy who just inherited some money from his aunt, stops in a pug to have a few drinks with his buds. A very creative and imaginative tale.
The Characters - You do such a wonderful job with the characters. Their personalities come out strongly through your words. I love the easy-going, jovial, and giving personality of the main character. Excellent job!
The Setting - Beautiful job on giving enough descriptions and details so that the reader can envision each scene as they read. Well done!
What I Liked Best - The camaraderie between all of the friends drinking at the bar. You did an amazing job making that scene so life-like. And of course, the marvelous, surprising ending. I love twist endings, and this one certainly does not disappoint!
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Tracey
"When you play the Game of Thrones you win, or you die." Cersei Lannister
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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LOVED that!
That was a great prompt and an excellent post based on the prompt.
WRITE ON! 
Tracey
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
A small typo:
SPOILER ALERT! 
You did a good job with your story. You let us get to know your characters enough to already form a bit of an attachment to them and want them to hook up. The story was humorous and made it easy to follow each scene as I read.
than he 
branch and lit
illumination then
his eye he
stood between.