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4,052 Public Reviews Given
4,181 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.
I'm good at...
Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.
Favorite Genres
I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of The 23 Enigma  
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: E | (4.0)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello KingsSideCastle

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

I really enjoyed your take on this Writer's Cramp prompt. I particularly like the fact that you took the significance of the number twenty-three and showed all of the different ways that the number shows up or can be found in the composition or calculation of other numbers (two to the third power equalling eight, which is another number of mystical/spiritual significance, etc.). That was really clever and a great way to expand the poem beyond the prompt in a way that still pays homage to it. The point about the Mayan prophecy was also really well made; it feels like the reader will come away from this piece with a better understanding of the significant of the number twenty-three, in addition to having read a fun poem.


*Penw* Suggestions

The only small suggestion I have is that you might want to consider spelling out the other numbers that aren't 23 (eight, two, third, five, etc.). I think it would make the number 23 stand out a little more visually in the poem. As it is, it gets a little lost in some stanzas with all the other numbers being mentioned.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed this item. I thought you did a great job working all of the symbolism and numerology into such a short item. Well done!


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello Bikerider

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

Always a pleasure to have the opportunity to visit your portfolio, Angelo! As always, I think you did a great job with this story. I'm always impressed with your ability to describe period pieces so vividly; no matter what the time period it always feels as if you're writing like you've had the personal experience of being there and can bring the reader along with you thanks to your nuanced descriptions. Your characters were also well-developed and the dialogue effectively helped to move the story forward.


*Penw* Suggestions

I don't really have any suggestions, per se, but the one thing I did have a little bit of trouble with was following along with all the characters that were mentioned. In addition to the actual characters in the story there were also numerous character names referenced during the conversation, which created a bit of confusion about who was who as the story progressed.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, despite the relatively minor note above, I really enjoyed this story. I think you did a great job with the characters, the dialogue, and the story, enough that you were able to keep the reader's (or at least this reader's!) attention throughout this short, compelling contest entry. Nice work!


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: E | (3.5)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello intuey of House Lannister

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

The familiar, conversational style of this piece is excellent. It definitely feels like some local giving the reader directions and then, subsequently, a little backstory about Bubba's Corner BBQ. The pacing was excellent and it kept the reader's interest throughout with a unique and compelling narrative. I particularly like the excessively bizarre directions in the first half of the story; that was my favorite part of this short piece.


*Penw* Suggestions

In the paragraphs where you're describing the hog's adventure, you use the phase "no one saw" a couple of times and it started to feel a bit redundant. I'm also not entirely sure about the explanation for why he's not on a corner. Is the idea that his original location burned down and then the business had to move (but still didn't change its name)? If so, I think that needs a little more clarification. If that's not what the story was trying to convey, then I missed it entirely! *Think*


*Penw* Overall

Overall, this was a fun, lighthearted story to read and I thought you did a good job with the prompt. It reminded me of all the businesses that have unique names out there because there's a funny story behind it somewhere in their backstory. *Wink* Nice job!


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: E | (3.0)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

My favorite part of this story was the parallel with "Little Red Riding Hood" and a few other familiar fairytales/allegories. I thought you did a good job of depicting Sally and the Rabbit, and their interaction with the wolf.


*Penw* Suggestions

It's a little unclear why Sally was still so difficult with the rabbit even after he saved her life. It's actually a little unclear whether Sally was even fazed by the wolf jumping out and threatening to eat her, because the rabbit told his lie before the reader even knows what her reaction is. But, assuming it's one of fear or anxiety, it's strange that she's still so focused on the rabbit's lying when the lie so clearly benefitted her in that scene.

Toward the end of the story, it felt like there was a lack of a resolution because there wasn't much conflict to begin with. I was hoping for a twist or a lesson learned or something, but the story resolved itself rather abruptly and without much conflict or friction.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, this was an entertaining story with the familiarity of an old fairytale or children's myth, but the lack of conflict and the characters' single-minded focus on the lying made it feel like the story was missing a little something. Still, it's a great foundation to work from. Nice work!


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of Epitaphs  
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello Princess Megan Rose GOT Fox

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

I enjoyed this poem, especially the various epitaphs that Gertrude wrote and were conveyed throughout the piece. Some of the characters were really unique and their situations were original, which helped the piece stand out.


*Penw* Suggestions

I struggled a bit with the second part of the poem, when it was switched to being about Gertrude herself. The change in focus made for a bit of a jarring juxtaposition against what came before, especially in the last stanza where it went from "Gertrude's job" to "Gertrude suddenly died" in the span of a single line. I think some additional content is needed between those two elements so that it's not so abrupt.

Ending the poem on the sentiment that Gertrude was "a hottie" left me a bit confused. The entire poem up until this point was about Gertrude's job and the people she wrote about; it was a little confusing that the poem didn't just switch perspectives to being about Gertude's life itself, but then about her appearance.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I liked the idea of this poem and think there's a ton of potential here. It's a little rough around the edges in terms of execution, but you've got a great foundation to work with and improve upon. Nice work!


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of The Chat  
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

I enjoyed your take on the prompt. I thought you were able to weave the prompt words into the narrative flawlessly, to the point where if they hadn't been bolded I don't think I would have even noticed. I also really like the detail and characterization in this story. From the car ride at the very beginning, it was a vivid, realistic scene you portrayed with enough description to make the reader feel like they're really present in the scene with the characters.


*Penw* Suggestions

The only thing that didn't work as well for me was the Halloween scene before Jack had his first "chat". The "ghostly version of Davy Jones" costume was a little hard to imagine, and was a bit lacking in the same level of detail and description that you gave the rest of the story. For me, this is where the story needed that additional detail, when describing what exactly Jack was so intimidated by.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I thought you did a great job with this Writer's Cramp entry, and made the most of a prompt which I usually find really difficult for me personally... disassociated random words that you have to figure out how to string together. Nice work, although that's not really a surprise coming from you. *Wink*


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review of On The Clock  
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: E | (4.5)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello Sophy

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

This was a really eloquent, well-written item. I'm particularly happy to see that you covered so much ground and different perspectives; at first I was reading, when you said "focus on the present, not the past or the future" I was thinking that something needed to be said about the value of learning from the past or anticipating the future, but then you covered both of those topics in subsequent paragraphs nicely. I also liked the point you made about the malleability of time (specifically with respect to the anticipation of and then experience during your vacation). All of these points were well-made and worth considering by all readers.


*Penw* Suggestions

I don't have any specific areas of improvement. I thought this was an excellent item that fully explored its central premise and did a great job of breaking it down and explaining it to the reader.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, you did a great job with this item. And I see this was written shortly after your first item on the site; all I can say is that your earlier items are way better than mine were! *Laugh* Thanks for the thought-provoking read; it really is worth sharing with anyone who needs some help with their perspective of remaining in the present as much as possible.


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review of Autumn  
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: E | (3.5)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello Joy

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

I love haiku as a poetic form, even more so when someone chains them together and includes more than one! I thought you did a great job with this haiku chain, each of them has really memorable, intense visuals which are the hallmark of the haiku form. I particularly liked your selection of adjectives, as they really helped create the vivid imagery of the poems in the simplest possible terms.


*Penw* Suggestions

A couple of the lines felt a little incomplete to me. At the end of the first haiku, the line "soon the harvest moon" doesn't seem to have any connection to the rest of the haiku (which is focused on the imagery of leaves), or the haiku that follows it. For me, haiku are most effective when they follow the traditional structure of capturing a moment in time rather than being purely descriptive, and it was sometimes difficult to find the exact moment or feeling you were trying to capture in the stanzas, almost like you were looking for the poem as a whole to illustrate the point. Which is totally fine, but I think the piece could be even better if, with a form like haiku that thrives on vivid imagery, that imagery and focus was consistent both on a granular level (the individual haiku) as well as a macro level (the chain as a whole).


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this haiku chain about my favorite season of the year. Nice work! *Smile*


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review of Rain in the City  
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: E | (4.0)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello Joy

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

I love this topic for a poem. Rain is something that I've already loved (probably because I live in Southern California where we don't get a lot of it! *Laugh*), and there are few things I like better that wandering through a city when it's raining. You did a great job of capturing the essence of that feeling, and I particularly liked the personification you used in lines like "the rain imposed authority" and "the rain spread nail polish over the city" ... although I'm not sure I really understand that first metaphor, even though I did enjoy it. *Smile*


*Penw* Suggestions

I thought this was an interesting poetic form with a certain stanza repeated three times with slight variations. I do wonder if it would have been better to have had that repetition be around the rain rather than the traffic, since the rain seemed to be the focus of the piece.

I also didn't quite understand the "poetry's thrust / for some change / in focus" part of the second-to-last stanza. I had a hard time finding the connection of those lines to the rest of the poem.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I love the subject of this poem. It really captured the essence of the city in the middle of a rainstorm, which is one of my favorite experiences. Well done!


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: E | (4.0)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello SandraLynn Team Florent!

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

You did a really good job of giving the reader a clear sense of the personalities of the individuals in this story, and making the reader feel like thye were right there along for the ride with them. The activities in the car were amusing and I particularly liked the tongue-in-cheek wit of the opening paragraph, which I think set the scene really nicely for this short piece.


*Penw* Suggestions

The only (small) criticism I have of this piece is that there didn't feel like there was a definitive beginning or end to this piece. It was more of a vignette or anecdote about a small moment in time, rather than a story, per se. I would have loved to have read a little more exposition and a little more conflict and resolution to fully flesh out this piece into a compelling narrative. The last sentence also seemed to cram in some additional details almost as an afterthought, and I would have loved to have those bits of the story expanded on as well.


*Penw* Overall

Other than the relatively small critique outlined above, I thought this was an enjoyable and entertaining vignette with memorable characters and a good bit of humor woven in throughout. It was a fun read and I thought you did a good job with it. Nice work!


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello Kristina ~

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

This was a fun and really entertaining story. As a fan of the old Coyote and Roadrunner Looney Tunes cartoon, I really appreciated all of the detail you put into this piece, including specific inventions that Wile E. Coyote used in the cartoon (and making the infamous rocket sled the centerpiece of the trial)! *Bigsmile* I thought the premise for the story was excellent and highly enjoyable. The ending was great too; if I were Home Depot, I'd also have thoughts about partnering with a litigious and questionable-competent customer! *Laugh*


*Penw* Suggestions

This is a bit of a nitpick, but the legal procedure wasn't terribly accurate, specifically with the judge asking questions essentially after she determined the decision, and introducing questions as to motive at the end of the trial when that's typically something that would be handled by the defense counsel. It's doesn't have to be an exact reproduction of court process or anything, but given how many people watch legal/court shows now, a lot of them are amateur "legal experts" and might notice this deviation even from the creative license taken with the legal system as they've come to understand it through television series.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I thought you did a great job with this story. It was inventive, entertaining, and a really fun read for anyone familiar with the old cartoons. Well done!


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review of Wanya's Day  
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
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Hello PiriPica

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

I'm always impressed when people attempt challenges that add a degree of difficulty to their writing such as writing a story with no dialogue, or only dialogue, or other restrictions. I think you did a great job conveying interpersonal reactions even in the absence of dialogue, which is not easy to do. Nice work!


*Penw* Suggestions

While the actual scene itself was well written, it felt a little like the detail and description was taking the place of actual narrative. The scene had more of a vignette feel without much of a beginning or end, and it feels like, if word count was an issue, some of those words could have been used to fine-tune the narrative a bit and give it more of a lead-in and lead-out to round things out a bit.

There were also a few passive phrases that seemed designed to get around the "no dialogue" element and felt a little clunky. For example, the sentence, "The subtle woosh of exhaled air from multiple mouths revealed the shock that went through the crowd" felt like a bit of an overwritten way to say that "the crowd gasped" and, to the larger point above, it feels like some of that word economy could have been allocated to the setup and payoff of the story.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I enjoyed the imagination of this piece and it was very effective at working with a difficult prompt restriction. I think there's a bit of room for improvement, but you've got a really strong foundation to work with in this piece. Nice job!


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Review of In all I do  
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: E | (4.0)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello Emerick - The Preacher

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

I really enjoyed this poem. "Everywhere" by Fleetwood Mac is a great song and I can definitely detect the influences while I was reading. When reading with that song in mind the cadence and style is familiar, and yet you also managed to create something completely unique that felt fresh rather than derivative. Really nice job!


*Penw* Suggestions

Each of the stanzas were great on their own, but the order confused me a bit. The first one starts with the sentiment about "finding a guide" while the third stanza is about being "lost in the maze of my own mind." The second stanza opens with "[struggling] to resist". I wonder if a bit of restructuring would be more effective, with the stanzas in the order of 3-1-2-4 or even 3-2-1-4. The poem is already great as it is, the stanzas are individually excellent; they just read a little out of sequence to me in terms of a larger narrative.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I thought this was a well-written and elegant poem. The imagery was great, as was your word choice and the structure of the individual stanzas. It might be worth looking into reordering them, but that does change the fact that it was a great read, inspired by a song that I really enjoy and could see the influences of in the piece. Nice work!


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


Hello Hyperiongate

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.


*Penw* Positives

It's been a long time, my friend! I hope this review finds you well. *Smile*

This is a great essay, full of really useful information for those looking to improve their flash fiction. All of the suggestions were great, but I particularly liked the advice to let the story imply the events, and to think outside the box. Both have been critical to my success with flash fiction as well, and you articulated the concepts perfectly.


*Penw* Suggestions

I think it's important that you provided the context about the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge being your primary source of knowledge, but I think you could also broaden this piece and apply the concepts to flash fiction in general (which is typically considered to be less than 1,500 words) and would recommend pointing that out in addition to your experience with a contest that has a specific 300-word limit for stories. This is an essay which is definitely equally useful for writers of 300-word to 1,500-word stories as well! *Bigsmile*


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I thought this essay was excellent. You did a great job providing the reader with a ton of actionable advice about how to improve the quality of their own flash fiction, based on your own experience and success with the medium. Nice job!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review of Fall  
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


Hello Abbey Genna

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.


*Penw* Positives

You did a great job of capturing the essence of the Fall season. It's my favorite time of year as well, and you described many of the things I love about it, transporting the reader to that time of year. I particularly liked your transition between the cool and crispness of the outdoors with the warmth and coziness of the indoors. Nice work!


*Penw* Suggestions

I don't have any particular suggestions for improvement; I thought you did a great job. *Smile*


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this item and the best compliment I can give it is that it made me yearn for Fall again, even though it's six months away! *Bigsmile*


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review of Eternal Life  
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello Scarypotato-Gullible

I'm sending this review in connection with "I Write in 2024.


*Penw* Positives

Thanks for sharing your faith with us! I'm only tangentially familiar with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, so it was really interesting to get to know a little more specifics about your particular expression of faith and how it compares to some others (e.g., non-denominational Christians, Catholics, etc.). You did a great job of breaking down the different types of afterlife one can look forward to (or not) based on your faith tradition.


*Penw* Suggestions

While the first half of the piece felt really well-organized and well-presented, the second half of the item felt a little scattered. There were only brief comments on the concepts of "loopholes" to your religious tradition's rules, a quick reference to your own experience with reproductive health struggles and not knowing what that means for your faith, and that the concept of "Hell" in your faith tradition is not the same thing as what others believe. Each of these feel like "big" topics that could have used a little more explanation to fully give the reader context for what's so different about your religion.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I enjoyed reading this item and thought you did a good job responding to the prompt. Nice work! *Smile*


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


Banner for Winter I Write


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello Lady Elizabeth Mormont

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

I really enjoyed this post-apocalyptic narrative poem. That's not a genre I read too often but I might have to remedy that because this was great! I particularly liked the vibrant imagery you used, packing a lot of both worldbuilding and character development into comparatively few words and lines. My favorite line in the whole poem was the one about not hunting rabbits but rather "a chance to redeem". *chefskiss*


*Penw* Suggestions

In the second to last stanza, there are imperfect rhymes due to the use of plurals in the second and fourth lines. Since this is the only place in the poem this happens, it stands out as a bit off compared to the rest of the poem which has perfect rhymes for each line of each stanza.

There's also a small typo in the second to last stanza; I think it should be a possessive creatures' rather than "creatures" in the second line, given the grammatical structure of that stanza of the poem.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed this narrative poem. I thought you managed to tell a lot of story in only a few short lines, and the level of setting detail and characterization you managed to fit into it was really impressive. Nice work!


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: E | (3.5)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello Lady Elizabeth Mormont

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

This was a fun, entertaining story. I liked the theme of female empowerment, and how Mary managed to make the most of an opportunity when it presented itself. The idea of the American Dream is that anyone can pull themselves up by their bootstraps, and this story really played into that idea where, when opportunity presents itself, those who are willing to take a risk and put themselves out there can rise to the top. It's easy to imagine that, were the story continue, Mary would get an earful from Mr. Livingston but also, in the grand American tradition, would capture the interest of someone who liked her reporting and give her an even greater opportunity. Nice job with this story!


*Penw* Suggestions

The only part of the story that was a little confusing for me is hwo the assistant editor accepted the story (and Mary's byline) without question. Earlier in the story it's established that being a female journalist isn't exactly easy in this day and time, so it would help to know why the assistant editor helped her publish her own article when her boss was out sick. It could be something as simple as establishing that the paper needed content so they ran with the story that was presented to them.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, this was an entertaining, well-written story with compelling characters that was a very enjoyable read. Nice work!


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
Review of Hello There  
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello Lady Elizabeth Mormont

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

I loved the comedic take on insomnia presented in this poem. For me personally, I think I hate the 4am hour the most. It's far, far too late in the night to be staying up, and far, far too early in the morning to be waking up. You did a great job of capturing an appropriate sentiment for each hour of the early morning, and the last stanza at the end is what really pulled the entire poem together for me. I really enjoyed reading this. Nice work!


*Penw* Suggestions

While I thought the 3am and 5am stanzas were excellent, the 4am stanza felt like a bit of a miss for me; skipping a nap and not feeling tired don't quite match up with the same sentiments as the 3am and 5am stanzas. I'm a little unclear what not having a nap earlier in the day has to do with 4am specifically, and would have loved to have had a little more connection to one of the times of night that feels the most removed and isolated from the daytime.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I enjoyed reading this poem and thought it was quite creatively structured. While I do think there's room for improvement here, I think you have a really solid foundation to work with, and there's a ton of potential here to make a compelling and relatable poem. Good job!


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review of The Scheme  
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello Lady Elizabeth Mormont

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

This was a fun story with an amusing twist at the end. I like the fact that Sandra ended up being Ted's mother, and that she seemed as amused as anything by his attempts to sow chaos in the world. Nice work!


*Penw* Suggestions

In the first paragraph, there's a bit of a contradiction between the sentence that say Sandra "hoped that if she ignored Ted long enough he would go away," and the sentence immediately after which said that Sandra "knew there was no way she could be that lucky." If Ted had "never been the type to go away" it doesn't make a lot of sense that her just hoping Ted would go away would be effective, if all evidence points to the contrary.

Ted's scheme was a bit confusing to me, in how it would be executed. Almost every place that offers employee discounts processes the discount as part of the transaction, so I'm not sure how Sandra would be able to "keep the leftovers" with a customer because the transition would be rung up at the employee's discounted rate. Maybe I'm just not thinking of the way this would work, but it would benefit the story to have a clearer sense of how the plot would work since it seems impossible to have a paying customer pay an amount different from what they're actually paying.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I thought this was a fun, amusing story featuring a couple of entertaining characters that kept my interest throughout. Nice work!


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review of Night Terrors  
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello Lady Elizabeth Mormont

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

I really enjoyed the fact that the dreams referenced at the beginning of the story came back and turned out to be prophetic in the end; it was a great way to add a full-circle element and feeling of finality to the story. Structurally, to be able to do that in only a few hundred words is really impressive. Well done!


*Penw* Suggestions

Toward the end of the story, the description was a little confusing. Suzanna leaves the house before sunrise (as usual), but then it becomes foggy in the dark. Suzanna turns on her high beams (a bad idea in dense fog, I can attest to!) and she drives until the fog abates, but then the sky is "unusually black" while the temperature is also "growing warm" to the point where sweat was dripping down her face. Later, the heat intensifies alongside the darkness, which makes in unclear what's supposed to be happening with the environment. Is it a supernatural darkness or a supernatural heat? Or both?


*Penw* Overall

Overall, despite the somewhat confusing description toward the end of the story before the twist at the end is revealed, I thought this was an entertaining tale that kept the reader's interest throughout and really delivered on its premise. Nice job!


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: E | (2.5)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello peanutbutter

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

I really like the sentiment in this piece. You did a great job of capturing the emotion of what it means to be a close friend to someone and to value a strong friendship. I think every reader wishes they had a friendship as strong and caring as the one depicted in this piece of prose. Good work!


*Penw* Suggestions

There are quite a few technical errors in this piece, including several typos (the word "possible" is misspelled as both "possaible" and "possable"), and a missing word and improper verb tense in the third line (I think it's supposed to be "But I have come into your life"?). There are also several places where there's missed punctuation, all of which leads to a difficult reading experience for the audience. Some revision is needed in order to correct the errors and present a smoother-reading piece to the audience so that they don't get hung up on the errors and can instead focus on the elegance and emotion of your underlying message.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I thought this was a piece with a great premise and a lot of potential, but needs some significant revisions and proofreading in order to fine-tune the execution. I think you're off to a great start, though! *Smile*


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: E | (3.5)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello Cyndee Paulson-Heer

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

This is a solid breakdown of how to do a short author bio. I like the fact that you broke it down into smaller components and then went on to explain each of them, and then provided examples of what that looks like with professional, published authors. The piece was well organized, and articulate. Nice work!


*Penw* Suggestions

I would have loved to have seen a little more information on adapting the short bio for other uses. You mention at the beginning of the article that writers usually have multiple bios for a variety of purposes, but the article only focuses on the short bio. I think there's an opportunity to really get into the "big picture" issue of constructing a bio for all occasions, which could be as simple as adapting this structure to encourage the audience to create a longer bio, and then pare it down for a variety of lengths (i.e., writing a full bio of, say, 500 words, then strategically figuring out what to remove to make it fit 250 words, 125 words, 50 words, 240 characters, etc.).


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I thought this was an informative, useful article with great tips for how to construct a bio of a very specific length. With a bit of revision, I thought it would be a really excellent piece that addresses writing bios of all lengths. But you're definitely off to a fantastic start! *Smile*


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: E | (3.5)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello NH Bhatti

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

I thought you did a good job offering a balanced and detailed analysis for the benefits and drawbacks of online paid surveys, both from the perspective of who's taking them and who's interesting in having them conducted. I thought your item as well-reasoned and made a good argument.


*Penw* Suggestions

I noticed that some of your WritingML formatting isn't working quite as intended. It appears that you have a space between the colon and the font name, which is causing the issue. If you delete that space, it should work. Also, you don't have to use a new WritingML tag after each paragraph; using it once at the top of the item (with a corresponding closing tag at the end) should suffice, unless you're planning on doing some different formatting in between.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I thought you did a good job with this item. It's clearly presented and you do a great job of balancing multiple perspectives and providing what appears to be an objective and unbiased perspective. For your first brief writing (as pointed out in your item intro), I think you did a great job and, pending the fixing of the formatting issues, I think you have a strong piece of writing on your hands. Nice work!


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: E | (4.5)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello GERVIC 🐉 House Targaryen

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

All of the dragons in these cNotes are adorable! I'm really impressed with all of the dragon-themed stuff that you're doing for the Year of the Dragon. Between this shop, "WDC Dragon Vale and so many of the other things you're working on, it's clear you put a lot of thought and effort into this year of the Chinese Zodiac, and I appreciate the professionalism of the images and the design you've put into everything. My personal favorite images in this shop are 1, 4, 5, and 7.


*Penw* Suggestions

The only small issue I have with this otherwise great cNote shop is that the prices are all pretty steep for a cNote. Many shops offer options for 1/10th of the price and, while I know that it's the shop owner's prerogative to charge whatever price they feel is appropriate (and while your images are excellent), I can't help but feel like it might be more appealing to have one or two lower-priced images for those who are as passionate about dragons as you are, but might not have the funds to pay such a premium on the cost of cNotes, or to make them available to send to more members of the community.


*Penw* Overall

Other than the small note about pricing, I think you did an amazing job with this cNote shop; it's one of my favorites that I've seen so far, and I look forward to visiting again soon! *Bigsmile*


Respectfully,

Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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