I found this on the public review page and had to take a peek. I love titles, and this one intrigued me.
Since this was written months ago, I imagine your confusion is something long settled. I'll be sure to check more of your portfolio. You did well, though, telling about that initial confusion of the site and writing in general.
Well done, Dystopia. Another reviewer pointed out that the book about Santa is 'Twas The Night Before Christmas. Other than that, I have no suggestions.
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Kenzie
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Good job. Some lines perhaps don't flow as well as the others, but still it's a good poem. And a good reminder too, that we all do need others sometimes.
For some reason, this rememded me of my best friend way back in elementary school. Her leg was broken so badly, that she had to be carried up and down the stairs. I remember how she hated that.
Hmmm. The writing is okay, and I know this is supposed to be funny. But...I guess no matter how many times I have to help my parents and other relatives with electronic devices, I would never talk/write to them this way. Or use such language. Perhaps it's the difference in our generations.
Here's something needing changing:
Won’t you please think of my liver and no abuse these?
(should be not?)
Good response to the question. Interesting items you reviewed bringing along. Perhaps if the FM radio was a nice boom-box, you could even give it to the gang kids and buy some time/life.
You're right, though. Attitude is important in all situations.
This may be fiction, but it's so real that it did have me crying at the end. Yes, technical language is included, but as you indicated, it was necessary for the story.
Another wonderful storoem. Maybe it's the emotional time of year, or perhaps the words were just right to touch my heart. But the tears did come with this one.
To me, anything is possible at Christmas, and you've proven it again.
Angela, dear, it's never too late. You're only in your 30's and I know you have computer access. Today, there are so many ways to complete classes over the Internet - starting with GED and going through college degrees.
Some classes don't even require that you've completed high school. If I were you, I'd do some checking into that.
You're right, though. We all must learn to disregard what others say when they think we cannot do something.
This is a good incentive for anyone needing gift points. Between this and contests, it helps those who have trouble having enough gift points to buy or renew memberships.
I stopped by after I noticed another reviewer asking how one could "cheat."
I've often wondered about those public reviews that have just a word or two and a huge signature or links to the reviewer's portfolio. Hmmm.
As always, you have the answers for those who care to find them - this time about the daily review rewards.
My goodness, this one made me blush. Yes, I still do that even though I've reach the dinosaur age. That made me wonder if this should be rated higher - 18+.
Anyway, I do have one suggestion:
What we maily hear (Should be mainly)
Have to rush off now. Not sure if it's that blushing thing, a hot flash...or something else.
I saw this mentioned in public reviews. It is an excellent idea for a forum - writers with disabilities. I'm amazed as I visit with writers here, how many are suffering some kind of disability.
I have lots of things going on physically myself. Haven't worked (except for a short 6 weeks) for over 2 1/2 years.
What fun this was! You can't go wrong, in my mind, writing about your pets. I love this format too. Glad you mentioned the wet kisses. Nothing better than your best fur buddies kisses.
Good job! I like the repetition. Even though there doesn't have to be any "formula" for a poem like this, I still might shorten a few lines if it were mine.
Interesting thoughts. I think punctuation is necessary. It allows us (not tells us) to pause to take a breath as we read aloud. And as you so aptly pointed out, if there was no punctuation, the words would almost be at war with each other.
Well done! To be able to describe loneliness or being alone in so few words takes talent. I'm impressed. Good word crafting. (And I guess I do envy folks who can weave meaning with few words. I can't!)
Well done! To be able to describe loneliness or being alone in so few words takes talent. I'm impressed. Good word crafting. (And I guess I do envy folks who can weave meaning with few words. I can't!)
Good job! This poem explains the four temperments well, and in poetry form. How creative. The rhymes and rhythms work. And I'm fascinated that you were able to weave this message so well.
I love it! Rhyme, rhythm and message are all wonderful. This is simple enough that a child could read and understand. Especially the beginning lines. But the message is both simple and deep.
A pretty good poem. Probably familiar feelings for many, since long distance relationships seem to be on the rise.
Some here will suggest that capital letters and punctuation make poems easier to read. Perhaps they do, although there have been famous poets who ignore them.
I might change some things - making the lines have a more even rhythm.
For instance:
yellow crayon sunshine, skies of ocean blue
I'd make that:
yellow crayon sunshine,
skies of ocean blue
Interesting poll. I think the thing that bothers me about our borders not being secure is what was covered on the news yesterday - that terrorists can enter easily.
Having lived in areas where there were lots of illegals working - in FL and in TX - I can tell you that they usually took jobs no one else wanted. That's been the case for years and years.
Yes, those businessmen could be forced to pay better wages so that Americans would want the jobs. That would also mean that we'd all pay more for the crops they pick.
Good job. I was at St. Patrick's myself as a teen - many years ago. I've never forgotten the visit, nor the feelings I had while inside. Like you, I wasn't a Catholic. But the beauty of the place was amazing. And I did feel God's presence there, I'm certain.
Your description was good. I imagine you cut and pasted from another program, so you might want to format differently here.
And...be sure to let us know what happened to the building.
Blessings,
Kenzie
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