What a beautiful story/poem. It has that Dr. Seuss sound to it. The rhymes work and the repetition is just what kids liked about Dr. Seuss. Well done.
And of course...the message is certainly good. If you're looking for ways to share (and not necessarily making a fortune), this would make a good reading at public schools or libraries.
Good poem. Good rhymes. There are a few lines that I might shorten a bit. Reading this aloud might help recognize them. Even without changing them, though, this is good. About a horrible subject.
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Kenzie
"We do not correct a piece of writing; in doing so, we question a life." William Stafford
This is a beautifully told story about something not so beautiful. You've categorized it as a short story, but also as experience. I hope this isn't a true story.
There might have been a few things I might change, but I got so engrossed in the story I forgot to make note of them.
Good job. Good rhymes and rhythm. And the message is great. Christmas time is often lonely and depressing for those who are alone. But we're not alone. And with an open heart, the simple sound of church bells can remind us.
Vivian I read about your husband's illness in one of the prayer forums here. I knew you hadn't been around a lot recently. I'm glad that your friends here are standing by you...and some even talking on the phone with you. Know that you are in our prayers.
What a story. Well done. I wondered why part of it was typed in bold and part in regular type. Perhaps that was because of the flashback. Also, there were some places where you needed to add spaces between paragraphs.
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Kenzie
"We do not correct a piece of writing; in doing so, we question a life." William Stafford
I found this poll mentioned in the public reviews. It's been up for a while, so has lots of votes. I almost had trouble answering this one. I'm not sure I ever really had a favorite fairyland character.
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Kenzie
"We do not correct a piece of writing; in doing so, we question a life." William Stafford
Interesting poll...with some interesting answers too, even if only 50 have responded so far. What I remember about Gumby is that he was on Sunday mornings, and unless we were sick and not attending church, we never saw him.
Thanks for the memories...
Blessings,
Kenzie
"We do not correct a piece of writing; in doing so, we question a life." William Stafford
Hey, not bad for a first word search. Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Kenzie
"We do not correct a piece of writing; in doing so, we question a life." William Stafford
'Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men's blood and probably themselves will not be realized. Make big plans; aim high in hope and work, remembering that a noble, logical diagram once recorded will not die.' Daniel H. Burnham
Interesting article. You've obviously done research on this one. It is interesting that those Christian organizations stood up for the use of payote in religious ceremonies. That makes me proud of them. It's good to know that they care enough to help protect the rights of others.
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Kenzie
"We do not correct a piece of writing; in doing so, we question a life." William Stafford
Bless your heart. Addictions are horrible things to deal with - for the addicted and their families. One day at a time is the only way to attack them. And, yes, sometimes the only way for someone to really get over them is to spend some time in prison. "They say" that an addicted person has to hit bottom, and for some prison is the only real bottom. However, I have known some who came out, and not being able to find a good job afterwards, go back to the old ways.
Perhaps your son hasn't made amends. But I do hope you'll stick by him anyway.
One suggestion: I might word this differently so it
wasn't a sentence fragment ending with a preposition.
Blessings,
Kenzie
"We do not correct a piece of writing; in doing so, we question a life." William Stafford
Another excellent poem about these horrible events. It's hard to imagine being so selfish as to ruin a child or a childhood. But that's exactly what these men do...
Thanks again for sharing your pain. It helps us to vent about life's unfairness. It also could help others.
Blessings,
Kenzie
"We do not correct a piece of writing; in doing so, we question a life." William Stafford
Hey, Meggy, I may be an old lady, but I understand about being different. Back in the dinosaur age, my group of friends was called the "too by too's." Some were too fat, some too thin, some too smart, some too dumb. And, heaven forbid, we dressed as we pleased, not as necessarily like everyone else. We formed our own group of misfits. That was long ago, and today it doesn't matter at all. Except that we can all laugh about it now.
Remember...you have lots of friends here - of all ages and sizes and from all over the world, if you want!
I would suggest:
Spacing between paragraphs to make it easier to read.
I've been praying for your mom spidey since I heard about this and stepped up the praying this morning, knowing that surgery was about to happen. I pray all goes well for your mom and your uncle. Do let us know about their progress.
I don't know about that first MTV video (my son probably does), but I'm with you. Putting pen to paper is different than pressing keys on a keyboard. And I think it's something we are losing fast. You said it well.
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