Very well written. This short is set up in such a way that the ending could very easily be a surprise twist. I suspect most readers will know what they are getting into from the title and genre of this but you do a great job of setting up the scene so that the reader is lead to believe that the group in this story is a persecuted religious sect. The last line reveal is very intense and there are some nice bits of foreshadowing such as the way one of the character's smile is described. It an exciting read. Thank you very much for writing.
This one makes me smile. I like the idea of a dog playing matchmaker. It is really sweet to visualize a Love dog with red hearts bringing people together and instills a warm feeling in the reader's mind. It was very creative. Great Valentine's day themed poem!
Nice Poem. The words really convey how much the narrator cares about the person that this poem focuses on. The reader can feel the strong connection between the two. There is some great poetic imagery in this such as Sparrows soaring, the billowing wind, and the subjects drenched with tears. There are some great rhymes in this poem as well making it flow very smoothly. It was sweet to read.
There are some great analogies in this poem. The author really pinpointed a lot of qualities about love and conveys them really well to the reader. That are some great verbal depictions i.e. "the Plodding Ox, a Blaring Trumpet, Love looking up to heaven" that evoke great visual images in the reader's mind. Some really nice writing!!
Nice poem. I like the triple AAA rhyme scheme. I haven't seen it used that often. There were a lot of approximate rhymes in there but there were some really creative choices like finding a word to rhyme with Facsimile. The Shoe emporium seems like an exciting place to visit and there's a nice energy to this poem that I really like. Great work.
This entry a great bit of reflection. I can definitely follow the train of thought and it is a great bit of introduction leading into the focus of the entry. I didn't think hugs could be that expressive but the way the the three hugs are described in this show just how much emotions they are capable of conveying. Each hug is described vividly allowing the reader to experience each hug for themselves. Each person in the the story manages to convey their feelings through that action without needing to utter a word.
I also really liked that how the last hug at the end closed this out. The death of a loved one is a grim situation and the cold reception from family members made it all the more harsher. The final forgiving and welcoming hug did a beautiful job of balancing what darkness of the experience with sweetness. Great writing!!
My initial thoughts reading the title for this was this story might be related to the Anime One Piece. The main character's name in that series is Monkey D. Luffy. This story's situation adds a bit of light comedy to the horror scenario. There's something funny about about how way off Monkey is from being a D word. That said there is no doubt that the situation the narrator is in is a terrifying one. It is like a recurring nightmare where the dreamer knows what is going to happen but is unable to stop it from occurring.
The story does a wonderful job in conveying the tension to the reader. You can fell the narrator is dreading what is going to happen. He's not clapping when the children are. It is clear very early on that something is not right.
The monster at the end of the story is described really well making it easy for the reader to picture. "A beak with hundreds of sharp teeth" provide a chilling visual description that a person shudder thinking about it. This is very a very well written work.
This is a review to celebrate Writing.Com's 21st Birthday with "All Grown Up"
This was a really fun story. I love the portrayal of the groundhog. He sort of had a grouchy/grumpy personality which really fit with him being woken up in the morning. He's a touch more annoyed than you would expect for someone that only works one day a year.
I'm guessing that the end of the world was in reference to the Mayan prophecy or another world ending prophecy that didn't come to pass. When this was originally written (2012) the end of the world date had not yet passed so there was a little bit of uncertainty that the world would end on December 31st even if there was only a very small chance that it would have been true. Now that that prophecy has been fully disproven, the groundhog's words seem to be all the more wise.
I think a lot of people reading this story automatically think of the Bill Murray Groundhog's day movie when reading this. That movie got seemed all the more relevant in 2020 when everyone's days were repeating themselves in Quarantine. I can't help wondering how this story would have played out if the prophecy stated the world was scheduled to end in 2020. I imagine that there would be a lot more doubt involved with people feeling a lot more uncertain about their futures.
Anyway this is a really well written piece. Thank you very much for writing it. ^_^
This is a review to celebrate Writing.Com's 21st Birthday with "All Grown Up"
Fun Personification Poem. This Poem definitely capture the experience of being a cake perfectly. The caption for the story gives a excellent foreshadowing of where this poem is headed.
There are some great moments of emotions that the cake displays... some pride in how much time the Cake took in being prepared and of course a large amount of terror as the poem cuts to close. It is upon re-reading this poem that I really appreciate the building sense of dread the cake is experiencing. I can picture it knowing what is about to happen as the candles disappear from it... it is very frightening. Well Done!!
This is a review to celebrate Writing.Com's 21st Birthday with "All Grown Up"
Great Poem! I love the visual imagery the words evoke. "Ice, clouds, the words ghost and heart" all make me picture certain things. This poem succeeds in telling the reader a story in a limited amount of words.
There seems to be a nice ambiguity over whether the described "ghost" is a physical person or the narrator's imagination/memories in dealing with heartbreak.
My favorite segment of this was the second Stanza where the reader is given a beautiful image of a goddess walking on ice. The third stanza of her falling through the clouds is great as well.
The end of the poem is cool combination alternating focus between both the woman and narrator showing one affected by the outcome of a decision in the most and another needing to make a decision for the future. Very nicely written!!
This is a review to celebrate Writing.Com's 21st Birthday with "All Grown Up"
Good article. You really shared and interesting facts about a butterfly's life cycle. You provide a nice amount of detail with your description. A Butterfly really goes through a lot before it can emerge. You cover the metamorphosis very well and there were a lot of new facts about their transformation that I didn't know. Thank you very much for sharing this information with everyone.
Nice Butterfly trivia. Most of these facts are really new to me. I had no idea that there were so many species of Butterflies out there, that they could see so well or that they could only fly given the right conditions. You really did your research on them and your article came out really great. Thank you for sharing these cool facts.
Great Butterfly article. I'm a rookie when it comes to information about Butterflies so all this information was new to me. It is really nice to know how to attract butterflies and these seem like great tips. The Peacock and Brimstone butterflies sound really beautiful and you describe them really well. Thank you for sharing these facts.
Great Wonderland Book. You really tackled this Wonderland activities very well. I think my favorite so far was Pigeon and Serpents. Those serpents are hard to deal with.
Good luck with your writing and the rest of these challenges. I'm very excited to read more of you activities in the future. ^_^
I'm reviewing some of the other Wonderland books/journal as part of "Race to Somewhere" activity. This is a great Wonderland Book. I really like the entries you have so far. They were very well written. I think my favorites was Knock on the Door. It was a really creative why to get past the Gatekeeper.
I'm very excited to see how you tackle the rest of your activities.
First off... let me mention that I really like the cover chosen for this story. The image (I believe it is of Elektra from Marvel Comics) is a great choice. The plot has a good opening with the description immediately allowing us to visualize the setting of the Motel room. We get a good introduction to the female lead Eva and having her look into the mirror is a great way to lead into the supernatural elements in this story.
Having just been introduced to the characters of Eva and Ariel, the lengthy dialogue they have has to be read through really slowly to understand who is saying what. You can see there is a lot of backstory being revealed in their conversation and you get the sense of who Eva is from it while teasing even more exciting details of her history. I'm not sure if this is meant to be the initial story for this character or if there was a previous book written for her. In any case it definitely made me want to continue to find out more about her. There is enough of a hook in this initial chapter to make me want to continue reading this storyline. It seems like a lot of action is planned and I wonder how the encounter with Erik will go. I would enjoy finding out what happens next.
This is a very nicely written story. You make the situation easy to visualize. I can picture the restaurant setting and the characters. One of the things that I really enjoyed about reading this was the connect that you provide readers by giving a first person narrative account. It allows us to perceive the lead's thoughts as if we were there with him. We could feel his desires. The lead is also observant enough to give us other good insights such as what he perceives the waitress is feeling. The waitress response to the suggestive call was fun moment which ultimately draws the reader into the rest of the story.
The pacing of the storytelling moves very quickly and a lot happens in a very short amount of time. I get the sense of a fun and rapid romance. It was good to read.
This is a great collection of Trinkets. Thank you so much for collecting and sharing them. The community newsfeed is also a great place to find trinkets. Two authors I recommend following are Richard ~ Typing Left Handed and Sum1's At Home!. Richard ~ Typing Left Handed releases a new trinket every month and Sum1's At Home! has posted a lot of trinkets to his newsfeed in the past. Some are limited edition though so they might run out. Once again thank you for creating this item.
Great poem! It is energetic and fun to read. I can feel the intense atmosphere involved with a sporting event in your description. I love rhyming poems so this was really enjoyable. There were some particularly good rhyming words mixed into this (scarred with hard etc). Nice writing!
This is a good poem. There's a beat to it with with quite a few rhymes used. This added an energy when reading it. I couldn't lock in a rhyme scheme so there was a little bit of an on edge quality when going through it. I kept wondering would this line rhyme with the next or will it start a new couplet or triplet. It had a good refrain going too which made the poem fun to follow along with and all the more powerful when the refrain was broken. The capitalized line was a nice abrupt stop that makes the reader take a deep breath. There were also some great word descriptions in this. Describing the soul as a damaged tree, ruined, peeling the paint etc all inspire impressive visual images in the reader's mind. Nice work on this.
I like how this poem takes a basic activity that people barely give any thought toward such as putting on a shirt and elaborates upon it. For me as a reader I found myself visualizing the action and thinking alongside about the shirts I've worn and the feel of them as I was reading. Being able to capture a simple action so thoroughly with verbal description is the sign of a good poem.
I really like how this poem makes a comparison between Writing and Cooking. It is pretty impressive how the sentences are set up to give the reader two visual images at once. I wound up picturing the activities of preparing a meal and writing a story simultaneously. The choice of words in this poem was excellent using words typically associated with cooking (chop, bake, boil, garnish etc) to link them with the activity of writing. Beautifully done!
I like this poll a lot. I'm really happy to see my favorite monster is currently ahead in the votes. The list seems to have all the classic monsters on it. I was trying to think if any of my favorites were left off the list (maybe Mummies and Succubi) but regardless this was really fun to take. I definitely recommend others try it out.
This is a Great poll. As a Science Fiction and Fantasy I recognized most of the options on this list. I still have to read Terry Pratchett but the rest are classic series for me. I wound up choosing Middle Earth myself due to my love of Lord of the Rings. I'd be very surprised if anyone winds up picking Panem. Anyway I really enjoyed taking this poll a lot. Thank you very much for making it.
Ok... my last review on behalf of the NAG Showcase.
This was a fantastic story. I can tell that it was meant for a younger audience but it was really imaginative. The setup is good and it has a sort of legend feel to it with prophecy, a magical weapon and a young hero. It's an interesting incorporation of Greek Mythology making the special weapon the Sword of Orion. I thought that the description in the story was very well done. The environment of a seaside village was easy to visualize as was what the sea monster appeared like and the young heroes' abilities.
The fight against the sea monster was very exciting and you could picture the tension leading up to it and visualize how the battle took place from the vivid description. The fight itself was amazingly fast and it seemed to go by in the blink of an eye but it still had an intense feel to it. I think what helped to set up the tension was the way Nathan interacted with his family before the fight.
Anyway, really nice story. I hope that the audience that it was intended for enjoyed it. ^_^
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Very well written. This short is set up in such a way that the ending could very easily be a surprise twist. I suspect most readers will know what they are getting into from the title and genre of this but you do a great job of setting up the scene so that the reader is lead to believe that the group in this story is a persecuted religious sect. The last line reveal is very intense and there are some nice bits of foreshadowing such as the way one of the character's smile is described. It an exciting read. Thank you very much for writing. 
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
This one makes me smile. I like the idea of a dog playing matchmaker. It is really sweet to visualize a Love dog with red hearts bringing people together and instills a warm feeling in the reader's mind. It was very creative. Great Valentine's day themed poem!
