This is an interesting story. The perspective of a scientist performing tests on animals are not typically done so it is a unique perspective to witness. The reader immediately feels sympathy for the monkey but the later humanizes the scientist as well showing that the scientist has a child struggling with Diabetes. You can't fault the scientist for doing everything possible to help the struggling child. It is a powerful shift.
You should share a link to the photograph that was used as a prompt. I am curious to see what inspired this story. In any case great writing.
Great tickling interactive. You have a nice set of characters and set up with each character having different weaknesses leading to a variety of story possibilities. This interactive is still developing but the arcs that have been added seem to be coming along. I really like the arc with Taylor so far. I hope that you continue to build this interactive some more. With these type of stories I recommend you provide as many details as possible as it will will help readers to visualize and imagine the scenes very well allowing them to enjoy this story more. Good luck with your writing!
This is a really good poem. I really liked the contrast between where the narrator is and where the narrator wants to be. You could feel the congestion of the narrator's current surroundings vs the freedom of where they were hoping to be.
I particularly loved the second stanza (and fourth)... it made for a nice refrain with the peaceful imagery of the the cascading waterfalls and grass. Actually this poem have beautiful imagery throughout both covering the frustrations of crowded (what I imagine to be city) areas and the natural environment being yearned for. It is very convincing and makes the reader yearn for them and want to get away as well.
This is a really nice story. The setting is very well written and it gives off the impression right away that I am reading a science fiction type of story. I immediately thought of the beginning of the movie Independence day when I was reading this with the military investigating something of Alien origin.
The characters in the story feel right out of that type of movie as well with the FBI agent and Doctor looking into the site of the monolith. The story has some great description as I could visualize every moment that occurred clearly from the Monolith to the hotel room cool.
I feel like the setup of this short story was developed could have easily been expanded into a full length Science fiction Alien story if desired but it also worked really well as is. The ending was really a great punchline with the monolith turning out to be an advertisement that I did not see coming. In hindsight the title hints at it but it was a really great twist. I really enjoyed reading this story very much. Thank you so much for writing it.
This is an awesome crossword puzzle. It's been so long since I've seen the Merlin series. I couldn't completely solve this but it brought back memories. I miss this series. This reminded me of a lot of things that happened in Season 1. I forgot Nimueh was the early Villain. Morgana was also a great character and I love the Dragon. The series definitely could on for longer. You had some great clues in this with a lot of memorable characters and classic elements from the series. I really enjoyed this puzzle very much.
This is a beautiful poem. I think that anyone who has a loved one relates to this heavily. This poem emphasizes the idea that someone you are keeping in your heart has the ability to strengthen you. You have some really beautiful imagery in this Poem. I love the contrasts between sunlight and darkness, life and death and the Heart and Mind. On a rhythmic level. I really loved the rhymes. It made your poem flow and read smoothly. It is very powerful and comforting idea that keeping what you love in your heart stays with you forever. Thank you so much for writing and sharing this.
Good poem. Great title. The outdoors can be a cool source of inspiration. It gives some great visual imagery. I love the description of the grass as telling a tale of those who walked upon it. The last 4 lines provide an interesting perspective. I particularly loved the last two lines describing the Cabin as a contract between men and nature. You naturally think of the contrast but instead it provides a union between them. On a technical level this poem has a nice rhythm to it. It reads pretty smoothly. I liked reading this.
Nice short story. This captures the essence of conversations I feel like I have been on both sides on. I've been both the troubled individual not quite ready to share my problems as well as the person wanting to know more. In the short you manage to capture some realistic feelings and a conversation. I wonder if you are planning to expand this into a longer work. It feels like this could included in a much larger story if you wanted to. In any case this was very nice writing. Thank you so much for sharing it.
Zootopia is an interesting place to use as the basis for an interactive. They have a very wide range of characters so it makes for some wild possibilities. This interactive is still early in development but you have a good setup going allowing writers to introduce their own original characters into the Zootopia world.
I am also glad there is a segment for for the series leads like Judy Hopp and Nick Wilde. Hopefully we will get to see more story arc getting added to this. I recommended having at least one good storyline going to set the tone and encourage other authors to read and add to it. Good luck with your writing.
Wow this is really cool. I have never seen a mirrored acrostic before. It must have been challenging to write. Getting words to end on the last letter is a lot harder than starting a sentence with a specific letter in mind. This poem captures the experience of a broken heart really well. Great writing.
This is a very nice Poem. It has a good rhythm to it and you can feel the dedication to your religion behind it. I think that its best feature is the four different rhymes that were used to end each of the Stanzas of this poem. It makes it smooth to read through. It has some great description too with each segment covering different aspects which people associate with the holy spirit (i.e direction, protection, perfection) The way it is structured reminds me of reading a prayer ending with an Amen. It is really very well crafted.
This is a good analysis. It really puts things in perspective. I also find myself guilty at times of not being satisfied with the job I have. The story of the Bank Teller is a good reminder that we should take pride in our work and there are opportunities to grow even when we aren't where we want to be in out life. I feel it is a good reminder for me that I should take to heart.. You cover the other end of this as well that you always strive for better prospects which is true as well. It feels a little bit like walking a tightrope to balance between the two but both sides are needed. Thank you for sharing your insights and writing this.
This is a nice poem. First off I like how you organized the layout of this with the expandable prompt. I also really like the title of your book item for this. It has a great alliteration.
Gateway is a great word to inspire a poem. I think you covered the prompt really nicely and I enjoyed reading it.
Here are some of my general observations:
You may want to adjust Gateway in lower case in the title... I recommend uppercasing it to give it more pop as it is the center thought of this poem unless there is an artistic reason you are keeping it in lower case.
I briefly thought this resembled an acrostic poem the way that this was set up visually.
You have some really good pairings with your lines in this. Having similar ideas together in consecutive lines to complement each other i.e.
A place -> A passage
Neither here -> Nor there
Portal guarded -> Guard post set
How to arrive -> How to depart
I also really love how you closed this poem out with the last 3 lines. It is cool to think of gateways as the point that joins places together. Also ending with the line a "A door to more" really leaves the reader with a sense of wonder reminding them there are pretty limitless possibilities that a gateway can lead to.
Nice Poem. I couldn't help thinking but think of Lady Gaga's Just dance when I was reading this. First off I love the writing ML used for this colorful and eye catching. There is some beautiful imagery in this poem often highlighted by the colors (i.e. the blossomed floor and rays by the bed, the shiny blue teacup). I liked the "and they will say..." refrains in this. The word choices in this were really excellent.
This feels proud, defiant and energetic. It made me want to stand tall and dance myself.
This is a wild premise having a pen that can grant wishes. It don't blame the main character for trying to use it to fill his fantasies. I think this story would definitely appeal to the audience it was created for i.e. diaper fans. You capture the experience of regressing to being a baby very well. I think the only thing missing in this scenario is that the main character is by himself throughout the experience. It might be more fun to have other other characters there to witness and react to him regressing. Maybe something that you might use in another story.
This is a good poem. It conjures up a lot of visual images such as the environment of the beach, the umbrella and various types of weather that the narrator experiences. The poem makes great use of descriptive colors using them to convey emotions. I particular loved the colors of the ocean described. The Umbrella works really well as a symbol sharing the narrator's loneliness.
On a rhythmic level this poem is good with a nice set of rhymes to read through making it easy for readers to enjoy.
There are a couple of technical recommendations/notes:
-In the second stanza it circles around a bit with the narrator crying twice.
-In the third stanza there seems to be a typo - "So I grabbed the Umbrella and dashed the the park"
Other than that... it is a very nice poem. Thank you for writing!
This is a great story. It feels like the opening/intro to a Fantasy epic where it starts off on in a remote location and expands into a greater epic. I think you did a beautiful job of setting up the character's background and storylines. There was some great descriptions describing the location and sunrise. The subtle details made the world being described more compelling. The politics set up in this story are really interesting with a dispute for the crown. It seems like there may be some foul play involved Xristan's (Prince Elmund's) Sister in Law vying to keep the crown for herself.
The story also ended with a good hook. It would be great to read more of this... I hope that you continue the storyline.
Great interactive. This is well developed with multiple storylines written out. I like how it is divided up using different rooms for all the character / family members. The characters are set up nicely. There are some really wild ideas in this story that are explored really well. The arcs I read in this focus on hypnosis, feminization and transformation of the lead (reader). There are over 400 chapters in this story (at the time of this review and not just choice chapters so it is moving along really nicely. I read through a few of the arcs like the opening one with the main characters mother, the arc following his sister Jane, and an arc where his teacher was dominating him. It is contributed by multiple authors and they seem to be well written out. It is coming along really nicely and is well maintained. Excellent work on it!
Cool Concept. A GTS queen seems really cool. My initial thought was that this would involve original characters but the way this interactive was divided up was that it allowed for arcs involving popular characters from Anime, Manga, Books, Cartoons and comics. There was a section for Original characters as well but it definitely allowed for this interactive to be a lot more vast. The arc available so far involving the Sakura from Card Captor Sakura was set up pretty will and thought out. It would be interesting to see where it goes.
I also really like some of the original characters described such as Sarah Cartwright, Maria Goddard and Jessica Dawes. Hopefully those storylines can be developed some more. Best of luck with your writing.
I was curious to see what an Interactive about Thomas The Tank engine would be like. I have never seen the actual Thomas series but I have watched the United States show Shining Time Station as a kid which includes segments of the Thomas the Tank Engine stories. This interactive is set up well being divided up by stories which is a nice way to allow for users to enter the stories you want. You came up with some Wild ideas for story arcs i.e. Percy and the Ninjas. For the one arc being developed "Thomas'Lame and Boring Story" you definitely have some wacky ideas in it. It looked like it was going to be a normal Thomas story but then gets more and more "off the rails" i.e mentioning Bill Gates. It was definitely a trip!
This is a creative idea for an interactive story. There is a wide range of possibilities presented. If I was a shape shifter my first thought was that probably the most fun thing to transform into was a bird because of the ability to fly but then the choices presented even better options such as mythical creatures such as dragon... it definite offer some great opportunities. This interactive is still developing and growing so the storylines haven't gotten far enough along yet to see how they play out. I recommend getting at least one good story arc developed with 4 - 5 none setup chapters to allow authors to get a feel of what you type of stories can be developed in this. Good Luck with your story.
This is a great short story. The short description was very cryptic. I wasn't sure how it would play out so it was an exciting read. I actually thought it might go south the way "Nan" described her fear of the winter but it actually turned out to be a sweet story.
You really did a great job with setting up the environment and scene making it very easy to visualize what was happening. I really got a great picture of the winter the town, Nan etc. They were very subtle touches that added life to the scene. The description of the hound, the fire, the supper Nan was eating all and winter itself all served to enhance the story. The two characters had personality and seemed lifelike. Great Writing!
This is a good poem. It has a nice rhythm to it and Rhyme scheme (ABAB) making it fun to read through. I like how your Poem comes full circle ending with the same two lines it began with. You a great job of evaluating different aspects of hope covering its mystery and unique traits such as its ability to inspire and give strength to people.
On a technical level this poem has some great personification and imagery. I particularly love the the segment in the second paragraph where hope gets compared to a glacier. Beautifully written!
This is a good poem. It seems very romantic and is appropriate to read this close to Valentine's day (at the time of my review). I think it gives a good reminder that a person close to you can inspire. It was sweet to read.
On a technical level. There are some great visual images shared. An Angel looking down from the sky paints a beautiful spiritual picture. I love the the use of the refrain "I blinked". Each stanza starting with it feels like we are browsing through a photo album getting a view of key memories in the narrators life... the wedding day, a both of a child, celebrating memories. It is beautifully written!
This is my type of interactive. I love both One Piece and Shrinking stories. One Piece has an excellent set of characters to use and this story has a lot of my favorites available as options in this story (Nami, Vivi, and Nico Robin). Hopefully we got some others like Boa, Tashigi and Hina (she has a brief cameo in one but would be her take the lead.
This story is very well developed and there are a rich set of arcs available in it so far.My favorite is the Opening with Nami. I have a crush on her so its a fun idea to be her shrunken captive. I'll be sure to continue checking out this story in the future and see how it develops further.
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This is a very nice Poem. It has a good rhythm to it and you can feel the dedication to your religion behind it. I think that its best feature is the four different rhymes that were used to end each of the Stanzas of this poem. It makes it smooth to read through. It has some great description too with each segment covering different aspects which people associate with the holy spirit (i.e direction, protection, perfection) The way it is structured reminds me of reading a prayer ending with an Amen. It is really very well crafted.
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