This is a nice entry for the Hook of the Book Contest. The prompt for this contest looks very exciting with the Sand ship image. I think your hook manages to function as a nice short story itself. It has a humorous tone to it. I love the vocabulary used ... the lingo matches the tone of sailors. I also loved the bit of Alliteration in the second sentence "beached Brigantine".
For the contest it is written for as an opener it may need a little bit more pull to get the reader to want to read more of the story. Maybe some more hints at future events or a larger storyline to make the reader want to go deeper into the story. There is a little bit hinted there as we are given information that the crew is off course. As it is currently I would still be hooked and want to read more though based on the tone and writing style. It seems like it would be a fun adventure storyline to read.
One slight editing recommendation. "He looked to the first mate, who refused to make eye contact."
Overall though this was very nicely written and I really enjoyed reading it!
This entry was written for "Hook of the book" and follows a picture prompt. It was set up very well with the prompt visible and the contest being applied for shared. As a science fiction fan, I really like the hook used. It is cool to see teleportation. It is definitely an interesting draw in for the reader with a character completely vanishing from the experiment and definitely makes the reader like to find out more about what is going on. It is good entry for this type of contest. Best of luck with your writing and entry.
This is a nice Haiku. It follows the format very well. As a poem it is pretty strong providing powerful imagery for the reader to visualize. I love the depiction of raindrops being connected with weeping. The second line gives an impression of a restless night where the narrator appears troubled. The last line seems to be a literal heart stopper.
There is a lot that is captured withing the seventeen syllables provided for the reader to process and it works very well. Thank you very much for writing.
The premise of this series is really good. I like how the lawyer represents unusual cases. This one involving a prankster was fun to read.
There are a few edits I would recommend:
'well that was really fun .'chuckled Willie
"Your unbelievable' 'Illness' he continued to laugh 'Now I've heard everything.'
Willie was elated
Mason Cooley once said' Dan responded as he took aim and threw a wadded piece of paper in the trash can. 'Excuses change nothing but they make everyone feel better.'
'Taxi' Willie called out. A taxi pulls up and Willie gets in.
I also recommend expanding the courtroom scene a little bit giving Dan some more dialogue with the judge. It will give the lawyer a better opportunity to highlight his legal skills.
In general though this is a really great short. Thank you for an enjoyable story!
This is a very nice story. It was fun to read and I loved the description in it. I could visualize the beach and the waves as they were described as well as the bottle very vividly as I was reading this
I also really like the twist at the end that the characters sister was the one that sent the bottle out. It had a sweet ending as well where the narrator left a note for her sister.
There is one slight editing recommendation: only about a half hour drive
This was a beautiful short story. Thank you for sharing it!
This is a nicely written short. I like how the focus of this is so mysteriously described. It is almost like she is a mystery women with exotic qualities to her. I find myself picturing the Mona Lisa with her mysterious smile or forces of nature like the sun. It is only at the very end of the poem where I was surprised to find the subject is revealed to be a cat.
I love the prose in this work. It reads like a poem, particular the opening. With a beautiful image of the subject facing east like a Sphinx at sunrise. Great writing!
This poem really captures the essence of breathing. The reader feels like they are breathing as they read this. Breathing is a great way to slow down and reflect on what is happening and the narrator of this poem really manages to do that.
There is a nice shift in the second half of the poem where the narrator compares a loved one to the act of breathing itself. It provides a really nice metaphor for the reader identifying how essential that person is to narrator. This is a beautifully written work. Thank you very much for sharing it!
When I was going through your portfolio, this poem on Robin Hood caught my eye. I was a fun read that mentions a lot of the legends I remember reading about the character (Sherwood Forest, the Sheriff of Nottingham, the Golden Arrow and his nickname 'The Prince of Thieves"). I think the second and third stanzas were my favorites because of all the references.
This poem has a nice rhythm to it making it very enjoyable to read through. It has has some fun rhymes and approximate rhymes in it. I liked how Robin hood corresponds with Legalhood. Great writing!
Very nicely written poem. I really love the wordplay. The rhythm seemed to perfectly capture the title with a frantic pace and wild beat to it. The readers can feel the chaos the rat is causing as they read this. I love the "because of that...the rat" refrain. You have some great alliterations in this skittered and scattered, sour symphony and stabbing screams.
A couple of slight editing recommendations:
Line 8 - Penetrating
Line 9 - eye-lid
The rest was very good. This was a very enjoyable read. Thank you for very much for writing.
Nice Poem. The title reminds me of the phrase "April Showers bring Mayflowers". I was also reminded of some classic nursery rhymes (i.e. the itsy bitsy spider and little Miss Muffet) when I was reading this. My initial thought poem seems to take on the perspective of the spider as it is met with the water washing him away but upon closer look I think it is more from the perspective of a flower starting out especially taking the title into consideration. Incidentally I was reading this poem at the end of April so the theme hits particularly hard now
On a technical level, I feel like this poem was written very well. The strength of it is its imagery. I particularly love the description of the water as Heaven's deluge and a Monumental Monsoon. Great alliteration with the later. After reading this it feels refreshing as if the reader is a given a shower along with the plant.
This was a lot of fun to read... thank you for writing this.
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Looks delicious. 
Cool set of bright color options. 
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