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1,870 Public Reviews Given
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I give honest and friendly reviews. I try to be as helpful as I can.
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Sci-fi, fantasy, adventure, comedy
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short stories, poems, activities, images
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I will review up to 18 content ratings.
Public Reviews
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Review of Bob the Bobber  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a children's story, written with the idea of a picture book in mind.

THOUGHTS: First of all, I'd like to say, WELCOME TO WRITING.COM!! *Delight*

What a fun idea to write a children's picture book. I enjoyed reading it, and I'm impressed that you made one. I've been meaning to put one together, but I never got around to it. Yours is simple and cute. I think any child would love it and maybe it could be their favorite book!

FAVORITE PART: I loved the way you began your story, and ended it the same way that it began.

We followed the adventures which Bob had when he decided to swim away from home. What interesting experiences you thought up for him to have!

This is a sweet story, and it had a happy ending. Nice work in putting this one together.

SUGGESTIONS: I noticed just a few typos and words which might sound a bit better. I think that if you fix this adorable story, it would give it the polish it really deserves.

Here are my suggestions...You wrote towards the beginning, "Fist saw Bob was sad and wanted to help." Of course you meant to write, 'Fish', instead of Fist. It might also read better to write, 'and he wanted to help'.

You are missing punctuation in some places. In this sentence, "This is the deep water" Fish told Bob., I would put a comma after water.

In this sentence, "Bob was smacked into the rock shoreline..." I think it might read better as, 'Bob was smacked into the rocky shoreline...'.

Here you wrote, "Fish saw that Bob was sad adn wanted to help." Just a little typo...'and'.

I was wondering why you wrote this for your dad? Perhaps since you already mentioned something about that, you might add another line with more explanation.

*Idea*Someday, if you get a paid membership here, you might enjoy adding images throughout your story. It would really pop with colorful pictures. There are many 'shops' on our site where you can get some with gift points.

In the meantime, you might add in some great emotionicons. I realize you're new here, but they really aren't too hard to do. Here are a few examples...

{e:beach} = *Beach*
{e:bird} = *Bird*
{e:duck} = *Duck*
{e:monster2} = *Monster2*
{e:monster3} = *Monster3*
{e:monster10} = *Monster10*
{e:boat2} = *Boat2*
{e:boat} = *Boat*

** Image ID #1919873 Unavailable **

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by Maryann


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Review of It's Too Late  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1919873 Unavailable **


*Books1* A longer item review for the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  May Raid *Books2*


FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a sort of detective type story with a Sci-Fi twist.

THOUGHTS: Great story here! I was glad I clicked on it because it was fun to read. I love these 'end of world' scenarios, and this one wasn't disappointing at all!

You must have done some research on black holes, because the tech talk made sense and gave your story a very smooth flow. You explained it all well, so I didn't have to stumble over any words in order to stop and think.

FAVORITE PART: I loved your opening hook. After reading your introductory first paragraph descriptions, I had a great understanding of the characters involved.

Your great descriptions to follow gave a realness to your story. I especially felt as though I could imagine what it was like to be in that room while the detective moved his papers aside and shut off the recorder. I liked that you took your time with the story, rather than rush it. *Thumbsup*

I thought you did a nice job with the 'tech talk' in your story. Your readers will understand how involved Kevin is with Black Holes and colliding protons.

I loved the way you ended this captivating story! It came right back to the title, and hit me like an explosion! ...Or, would that be like a black hole! *Bigsmile*
Nice work with this one!

SUGGESTIONS:You wrote in the paragraph where Osborn had been explaining the accusations, "And after what happened at the Crow’s Nest..." Your readers are only just getting to know this story, and it almost sounded confusingly as though it belonged in the part about the neighbors. (E rating, Jim?) I would make a slight change to something like, 'And then you went to The Crow's Nest'.

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Review of Lucy, Sweet Lucy  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is part of your *Sun* Solar Package *Sun* from "Invalid Item" .

FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a horror poem about a very bad (Dare I say, 'insane'?) little girl.

THOUGHTS:Oh what a chilling poem! You succeeded in giving your readers an intense glimpse of what goes on in the mind of this evil child named Lucy! Great work with your creativity.

FAVORITE PART: I liked how you made Lucy sound like a typical little girl, and you also added the ways of her darker side.

I enjoyed the great rhyme in your poem. I felt that it added to the fun and mischief of the evil child. Gosh, I think any mom would be speechless to discover their little girl with a knife and slicing off the hair on her tiny head!

I thought you added the right amount of stanzas to give your readers a good idea of what goes on with this girl. My favorite (and most horrifying) stanza is the last! You ended with a bold punch line, that Lucy plots revenge by thinking of ways to kill her sibling and her mother's pet birds!

SUGGESTIONS:I noticed that your rhyme seemed forced in a few places. Here is one example: You have, "Mother comes to say goodnight,/but Lucy does not answer./Clicking off the bedroom light,/"Brat!" her Mommy yells to her."
I think it would read more smoothly with a few very slight changes, such as, Mother comes to say goodnight,/But Lucy will not chat./Clicking off the bedroom light,/Her mother calls her, 'Brat'.

You added the mention of a horror movie in your brief introduction. I have never heard of this movie. Perhaps I'm not the only one who hasn't. It might not be a bad idea to add a very small idea of what the movie is about under your poem. It really doesn't need to be more than a couple of sentences, but I think it will help to give that movie an understanding.

** Image ID #1919873 Unavailable **


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Review of Walk In The Rain  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This review is part of your *Sun* Solar Package *Sun* from "Invalid Item" !

FIRST IMPRESSION: Here we have a contest entry in the genre of 'horror'.

THOUGHTS: I loved the creativity which shined throughout your rainy poem.

FAVORITE PART: You had some really unique ideas in this story poem. The man seemed cheery and even a bit excited about taking a walk in the rain, and who would have ever expected that he'd end up getting hit by a train of all things! I love rhyming poems! You took care in rhyming well and in a uniformed way. Nice work with the rhyme and story plot.

SUGGESTIONS: Some of your poem didn't flow very smoothly. I would fix that in a few of the places. I think it could be done in a way which wouldn't hurt the thoughts or the rhyme.

Here is one example of what I am talking about...
You have: "There once was a man with an umbrella/He fancied a walk in the rain/He sure was an unlucky fellah/He fell in front of a train" It might read more smoothly to lengthen the last line, since the first line was so long. I would change it to something like: 'He slipped right in front of a train'.

I would have liked to know more about the contest. If it still exists, you might consider adding a link to it. Another idea might be to simply add something at the bottom, which mentions what the prompt was. I'm assuming that it was to write a horror piece about a person walking in the rain, but as a person who is not at all familiar with this contest or prompt, I could only guess.

All you have in your brief introduction, is the word count. This is something which should be added to the bottom inside of the item. A viewer might pass over your poem, because they have no idea of what's inside. I would suggest that you add a hint in the brief introduction, instead, which will give a taste of things yet to come. Be aware, though, that your item rating is 'E' right now. If you make any changes inside or out which makes this item inappropriate for young children, you might be better off upping that rating just a touch.

** Image ID #1919873 Unavailable **


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Review of The Coin Box  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a touching story about how a book changed the life of a boy and his family.

THOUGHTS: What a very touching story! I did get teary eyed at the end. Children can be so sweet and they always seem to know the right thing to do. They know their families well, and therefore usually aren't too unfamiliar with things like occurrences and the feelings of loved ones.

FAVORITE PART: I guess the owner of book shops have the power to touch people's lives in many ways. I never thought of that before. I person might learn a new language or how to train their dog. Maybe a person might figure out which dog to get, or which car to get. Someone might also find guidance and counseling all from a book. This was the case in your great story. The boy knew just the type of book that could change his mother's life...And therefore, the lives of his whole family, including himself.

Books can bring about many joys. A child can improve their reading and develop the lifelong habits of enjoying a good book. The boy in your story knew just how important a good book could be.

It was really sweet that the ten year old boy used what was obviously his very own cherished money to buy the book for his mom. He had to break open the clay box. It was worth it to him, in exchange for his mother's happiness.

I really enjoyed that your story also had a very happy ending. It all worked out so well for the boy. So well, that he came back two years later to give the owner of the store the rest of the money from his coin box, along with a thank you note. The happiness he felt showed in his healthy look, too. This was a great way to add true closure to your story.

SUGGESTIONS:There was only one problem which I found with your story. One sentence at the end didn't seem like a complete sentence and it didn't read so well. Here it is: "Not the actual money value of that coin, but I knew that it was so valuable for that boy."

I would also suggest explaining a tiny bit more about why the owner wanted to thank the boy back...To let him know how much his story touched her heart, perhaps?

Great work. I really enjoyed this one. *Smile*

** Image ID #1919873 Unavailable **


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Review of Louis and Jacqui  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a story of Louis XIII, the eleven your old boy who became king of France.

THOUGHTS:Happy Writing.com anniversary, Jace! I took a look through your port to find something to review in honor of your anniversary, and I was so happy to find this historic story. I thought it would be perfect to read while I was playing Game of Thrones here! *Bigsmile*

FAVORITE PART:You are a truly talented story writer! I was captivated from the beginning to the end. Your readers will learn a few historical facts, while being pleasantly entertained at the same time!

I really thought it was great that you ended with a line which complemented the beginning line. Very creative!

I also notice how you effortlessly slipped the quotation prompt in! It worked really well, and impressed me. I'm wondering how you did in the contest...

Do you speak French? You added lots of French words here and there throughout. Although I've been to France a few times, sadly, I never learned more than a few words. With that said, I was still able to follow your story with no interruption. You added those words in a way that all your readers would have no trouble understanding. I thought that was a nice touch which gave your story realness.

I felt for the poor boy right from the start. All of those trees, and he was never able to climb any of them. I could understand why he would want to sneak away to play in Jacqui's neighborhood. How sad that he loved being with her, yet he was forced to suddenly marry someone he didn't even know very well. Gosh, things weren't easy back then...Regardless of class!

I thought you did a great job with your descriptions. You kept my attention! I liked the descriptions of Louis riding his horse and hitting the tree the best.

The most touching part was when Jacqui cupped his face in her hands and they kissed for the first and last time. So sad! Nice work with this one! *Smile*


** Image ID #1919873 Unavailable **


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a sweet poem of romance by a dear sweet WDC member.

THOUGHTS: Happy Account Anniversary, Sherri! I'm so glad you joined many years ago back in 2006. I can't ever imagine this site without you. You've done so much, and wrote so many well written stories and poems, like this one!

FAVORITE PART: Ah, I like romantic pieces when they're done well. I floated away for a few moments...Escaping all of the thoughts of the day...By your captivating and pleasant rhyme. I love poems which rhyme, and I have never been disappointed with any of yours!

This poem could easily have been a fun and memorable marriage vow. I loved how each stanza took me through the moments of the couple's time together. As your title states...It began with a kiss. I thought it was great how you came back to that at the end. It gave it a nice ending to how it began. *Smile*

I feel that you succeeded in displaying the experience of falling in love. The two win each other's hearts, and a ring enters the scene. They are happily engaged for two years of planning, and then walk down the aisle. ...A perfect love story in a beautiful poem!

My favorite line: "Two years later, our lives become harried,
as we make plans to get married". This is the sort of touching poem which makes people melt and get teary eyed from the sweetness of it all.

SUGGESTIONS: Where are the *Kiss* emotionicons! LOL
I would color up this piece and put in a few emos! ...Or one of the amazing images which you always find. The poem looks pretty, though, with the centering and uniform stanzas. *Smile*

** Image ID #1919873 Unavailable **


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Review of Game of Thrones  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
FIRST IMPRESSION: This is an excellent and fun activity with the purpose of bringing the entire community of Writing.Com together.

THOUGHTS:Great job with this amazing activity, Gaby. This is my second review today so far, and I'm not sure if you wanted daily reviews all grouped together in one post, or in separate posts, but I guess we'll all be 'getting the bugs out' today! *Laugh*

I've never seen an activity as vast as this one in all of my twelve years as a WDC member, so hat's off to you! You did something here which will be a memorable experience to all involved.

I want you to know that I am truly having fun! I hope you are too. You put lots of work into this, and you deserve to enjoy the fruits of your labors. *Heart*

FAVORITE PART: What I like the most, is the uniqueness of this activity. It's a game, which is really not that difficult to learn...Now that you put everything in place so well for everyone.

What a wonderful idea to use the various TV show Game of Thrones houses as the teams for our WDC members. With all of the many different WDC groups, those houses were a perfect choice.

The colorful images are a nice choice. Too bad not all of the people wanted to use the ones you started us off with, but I think they look beautiful on the forum heading in any event! *Bigsmile*

I do like the pull down menu of rules, etc. It's all there in one place, and it leaves the heading looking more spacious and airy. Seriously, you really did a lot of work with this. I wonder how long it took you to prepare all of this! *Shock*

The prizes are terrific. You know, as first when I had the idea to play this, I thought it would be awesome to win one of those prizes. My group always needs funds. Now, I'm thinking of that as a bonus to all the fun we're having! Myself, Lornda, and Eyestar always work together in unison to smoothly lead Power. We're sort of doing that now with the team. We sort of forced poor Lornda into sticking her name out there as the team captain, but of course Mona and myself are right there by her side every step of the way. We've always been close, but I feel that this activity will make us that much more bonded. ...And, we'll get to know the rest of our teammates, and the friends on the other teams, too.. Nice work in adding in the birthdays and anniversaries as well. I think Carmela must have been so surprised at that surprise this morning!!

Oh, and the merit badge you commissioned for this activity is so pretty!

Big (((HUGS)))!
~~Maryann



** Image ID #1919873 Unavailable **
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Review of Review Please  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Delight**Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup*

From Maryann


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is an article about regulations regarding weapon control.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS:Great job in analyzing what seems like a complex thesis! I really liked how you dissected and pointed out the important facts.

*Star*FAVORITE PART: I thought you wrote this article well. You picked great points to tell about, and I loved how you spaced them throughout the paper.

I also felt that you did a nice job with the transition from your facts, to your personal opinions. It was a smooth change. I would suggest adding a bit more to your second to last paragraph. That one, to remind you, is the area where you expressed your own feelings about the article and it's subject matter. You might possibly expand your one paragraph into two or three by giving a few examples of your statements. For example, you mentioned something about how criminals could easily use household items as weapons. You could talk more about this, and you might recall incidents that you remember from the news.

*Idea*SUGGESTIONS:I would suggest substituting, 'Wilson', everywhere you have 'James'. James is a first name, and most articles use last names when speaking about an author.
I understand that you were mixing it up, as not to overuse the same name everywhere. I would suggest that you might be able to combine sentences in some places to help solve this problem. For example, here you have, "I also feel Wilson did a good job covering the counterarguments of this topic. James also used appropriate statistics, facts, and testimonies, which aided his argument." Why not change it to something like, "I also feel Wilson did a good job covering the counterarguments of this topic by using appropriate statistics, facts, and testimonies."

I noticed several places which could be improved in your article. I'll start from the top to point out a few of these places...

Here you wrote, "The reader can quickly understand his essay is bout gun rights and gun ownership." ...bout should be about.

Here..."James' thesis states banning illegal gun use..." You already mentioned his work in the sentence before, so I would change that to something like, "Wilson states that banning..."

In a similar issue, you mentioned the word, 'tone', in the sentence before. I would change, "His tone reflects on how seriously..." ...to something like, "He reflects..."
I won't point out all repeated words in your story, but when you go back to proofread, you might keep that in mind.

You have a simple title and brief into right now. When you change it, please also change your rating to something which is not E. The mention of guns and violence is not appropriate for all ages.

Here you wrote: James then continues to add if guns and ammo are restricted lawful citizens will not have a means to protect themselves. Is this a direct quote from the thesis? If it is, it should be in parenthesis.

This part didn't read right to me..."James then makes a statement of the position of others who agree with..." I think I would change that to something like, "Wilson then discusses the position of those in favor by offering this quote..."

I loved your last paragraph, but I would reword it a bit. You seemed to add, 'feel', in each sentence. I would also make your middle sentence be your last 'powerhouse' sentence to conclude your article. It would be changed to something like this..."I personally feel that in today's society most people are going to do what they want regardless of laws and the consequences of these actions. In my opinion, violence doesn't solve anything, and in many situations will only make the outcome worse. I believe, however, that our right to protect ourselves is very important and must be taken into consideration when gun laws are passed.

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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review is part of your *Nuclear* Electric *Nuclear* package from "Invalid Item" .

*Exclaim* Interesting story. I always find historical fan fiction stories intriguing.

I thought it was a nice touch to withhold the name of the historical figure until the end. I didn't realize the historic facts in the origin of the nobel peace prize.

I think the 'hourglass' icons in between the time spans worked well. It made your story more comfortable to read.

I thought it was a good choice to show the dates. Your readers can see what has been going on through the decades.

I wasn't sure about the factory. I wondered if they had worked there, or if it was a family business.

You mentioned that this was a contest entry. I would have liked a small mention about what was required for the contest.

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Review of Sea Runner  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup*


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is the description of a sea creature, which was created for a contest.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Oh awesome ideas in this description, Snow! I could really picture these incredible creatures from your vivid imagery. I happened to run into your item, and I'm really glad that I did. It's filled with creative and fresh ideas, and it was the perfect piece for me to read to end my night!

You know, now that you have this contest entry done, you could probably turn this item into a campfire or an interactive. You already have the hard part done -- the description intro. *Smile*

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't notice any spelling errors.

*Star*FAVORITE PART: I loved how you opened with the detailed descriptions of what the creatures looked like. I could clearly imagine them with humanoid bodies and aqua colored eyes.

You showed great imagination to have these creatures able to move freely between land and water. I also liked the fact that you covered every aspect of the creatures. You even mentioned that they are emotionally unstable and often enjoy displaying practical jokes.

*Idea*SUGGESTIONS: I wouldn't change any of your ideas. I do have just a couple of small suggestions.

If the contest is still available, I would suggest adding a small link to it so that your readers will have an idea what was required of the item...Or, you might simply write something at the bottom.

I'm not sure if there had been a word count or other requirements for the contest, but now that it's over you might change or add a bit here and there.

For instance...I would definitely not start so many of the paragraphs with the words, 'sea runners'.

An example would be at the start of the second paragraph. You might change that to something like, "Some sailors thought they saw creatures running on the surface of the ocean, and so the term, sea runners, was born."


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Review of Travel Pictures  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your item.

*Exclaim* Hi Jim! As I expected, you have some fantastic pictures in your photography collection! Gosh, you've been everywhere!!

Lots of the pictures you chose to put in this collection are really pretty. I love the clouds and sunsets. How were you able to take a picture of a bald eagle in a tree!

There's really such a thing as a Plymouth Rock?

...And you've been to Punxsutawney, PA! I'm so jealous! Were you there on Ground Hog Day?

You have some very unique shots. The Patriot Rock seems very pretty, as does the Boston Harbor.

You brought back memories to places which I've been to, like the John Lennon Memorial in NY, the Golden Gate Bridge, Mt. Rushmore, and Australia. Nice collection! I'm glad I stopped by to take a look. It was a real treat. *Smile*

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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your item.

*Exclaim* Hi Stallion! I was looking for some polls for a fun change of pace during "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 's Artsy review raid. I was glad to come across yours because it really brought back some great memories!

I always enjoyed the great music from those cartoons. Those easy jingles are going to be stuck in my head all day now that I'm thinking of them! LOL

In addition to the music, I also really enjoyed the Japanese style art involved in each one. Who could resist Speed Racer's sweet big eyes!

I wasn't surprised at all that the Ninja Turtles took first place so far in your poll! Turtle Power! *Bigsmile*

I see that you made this poll a long time ago. Gosh, it must be one of the very oldest on our great site! Now that we can make tiny images these days here, maybe you might think about adding an image of each one in your heading. Right now, the heading is really short. The images would give a blast of color and some new life to this fun poll. *Smile*

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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your item.

*Exclaim* What a great idea for a story! I've read fan-fic of stories, but it was impressive that you wrote a story from a famous painting!

I'll have to admit that I wasn't familiar with the painting, but you really made me curious so I looked it up. What a fantastic work! It's so powerful. I can surely understand why it prompted you to write such a powerful story.

I loved the name you chose for your main character. It added to the classic feel of your words.

I felt for brave Ishigami, as he feared the terrifying god had awoken in the fierce rage of the sea.

There was one word which I didn't understand...'flotsam'. I would change it to a simpler word, rather than assume everyone will be familiar with it. The best stories captivate readers, rather than interrupt.

Also, I noticed that you do have an upgraded membership. Why not add an image of this beautiful painting? I would have made the font in your story a bold, blue color, and put the image right under it...You might even add a notation at the bottom about the history of the painting which prompted your story...Where is the painting now? Who painted it? When was it painted? Etc.

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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your item.

*Exclaim* Awesome story, and certainly an inspiration to anyone who ever wished to write poetry. *Delight*

I particularly enjoyed the topics which you integrated into your story, as well as the real life experiences you felt throughout the years toward poetry.

I had a few small suggestions which might really make your article shine...

At first glance, your writing looks like one big block. If you notice other WDC items, you'll see that people often leave space between their paragraphs. It gives more of an airy feel and makes items more reader friendly.

If this were my article, I would certainly give examples after each paragraph to further stress what it was about. For example, in the first paragraph, you expressed that you were sometimes in awe of poetry. It amazed you that someone could do that. Why not then add a couplet after that paragraph before you start your next one...

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
~~Elizabeth Barrett Browning


That would add more understanding of your meaning, and spice up your article. ...Just a thought.

Another example would be in your paragraph where you mentioned Baudelaire’s “The Evil Glazier.” Why not give a tiny taste of the work? Not all of your readers would be familiar with his work.

Nice work with this inspirational article!


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
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by Maryann


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216
216
Review of Just Chill Out!  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your comic item.

*Exclaim* Oh Patrece! You're item had me laughing out loud! At first when I saw the image, it reminded me of a Mr. Bean episode. That had my attention for sure because I really like that show. This is, as you stated, a case where the story does go with the image!

..."Let the turkey chill in the sink for a few hours!" I'll have to remember this joke next Thanksgiving. I could picture the turkey watching a football game with the remote and the beer! So funny! *Laugh*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
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by Maryann


My animated bird sig
217
217
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Sun**Rainbowl**Rainbowr**Gold*

*Note4*I AM REVIEWING YOUR STORY AS A JUDGE FOR "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . THANKS FOR ENTERING!

*Star*This review is an acknowledgment of your contest entry, as well as some of my brief thoughts.

*Exclaim* Oh my gosh - This is one of the funniest stories I've ever read! I didn't realize it was going to be a comedy, so it made even more impact by being unexpected. I thought you were very creative to use the prompt that way.

I liked the beginning hook. You made a good point in saying that pretty women are said to have no brains, but not much is said in that regard about men. I was curious to find out where your story was going.

You did a great job in expressing the frustration which the make up person was feeling. I especially liked the part where she said she held up the mirror for that guy eleven times! LOL Very funny!

I remembered a few of the tales my actress daughter told me. One in particular was about a time when she went out to lunch with a group of friends. A model guy she was with wouldn't eat a thing because he had an audition that afternoon and he didn't want his stomach to look heavy! You told your story as though you really know about how the minds of these people work!

I enjoyed reading this piece. Nice work!

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
218
218
Review of A long way to go  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Sun**Rainbowl**Rainbowr**Gold*

*Note4*I AM REVIEWING YOUR STORY AS A JUDGE FOR "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . THANKS FOR ENTERING!

*Star*This review is an acknowledgment of your contest entry, as well as some of my brief thoughts.

*Exclaim* I thought it was a cute idea to write the story of an elf and a human. You made it clear that the two became bonded through their adventures.

I imagined how this story could be the opening to a fun novel to read. Maybe you might consider expanding it. Then, you could add in more action. Right now, it appears to be what is written before the real action starts.

I would suggest that you take more care in writing your tenses. I noticed that you switched a few times. I think it's more noticeable because most of you story is written in a present tense.

The use of uncommon words from old English origin, such as, 'albeit', would probably fit better with the elf conversation, rather than in the narration.

I liked your creative idea. It was a unique way to use the prompt. I hope you'll consider continuing the story.

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support


This sig shines


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
219
219
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun**Rainbowl**Rainbowr**Gold*

*Note4*I AM REVIEWING YOUR STORY AS A JUDGE FOR "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . THANKS FOR ENTERING!

*Star*This review is an acknowledgment of your contest entry, as well as some of my brief thoughts.

*Exclaim* You really wrote a touching story. I could feel myself tearing up at the end.

I thought you had an excellent use for the prompt. It's as though the image had been made just for your story. I could picture Jeff on the top of the cliff conquering dragons!

Both of your characters are great. Your readers will feel the love that the brothers have for each other. Jeff can do anything with the confidence that Frank gives him. My favorite brotherly line is, "You have such a great way of looking at the world." You expressed that point well right from the beginning, when Jeff thinks the wind sounds like a song.

This is an inspirational story that I'll remember! Great job!

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support


This sig shines


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
220
220
Review of Fugitive Hearts  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Sun**Rainbowl**Rainbowr**Gold*

*Note4*I AM REVIEWING YOUR STORY AS A JUDGE FOR "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . THANKS FOR ENTERING!

*Star*This review is an acknowledgment of your contest entry, as well as some of my brief thoughts.

*Exclaim* You wrote an adventurous thriller! I enjoyed reading such an action packed story. I thought you picked the perfect title, too!

I wasn't sure what happened to Jason. That part seemed a bit rushed compared to the rest of his adventure. Was it so cold that he froze to death in such a short time? Did the dogs find him? It's cold where I live today. I couldn't imagine being outside without a coat.

I found one small typo. "He tried the shove the thoughts..."

I liked the twist at the end, where the heart for Gracie came from the girl who had been shot. I almost thought it would have been even more ironic if Gracie had died and a part of her went to save the shot girl...Or if Jason's heart was able to be taken from his frozen body and given to Gracie...And maybe another organ could have saved the shot girl. Anyway, you wrote a great story. It will leave your reader's thinking and perhaps they'll be interested in reading more of your work.

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support


This sig shines


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
221
221
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Sun**Rainbowl**Rainbowr**Gold*

*Note4*I AM REVIEWING YOUR STORY AS A JUDGE FOR "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . THANKS FOR ENTERING!

*Star*This review is an acknowledgment of your contest entry, as well as some of my brief thoughts.

*Exclaim* What a tender story! I love stories which have happy endings, and yours certainly did!

I thought you used the prompt well. It was exciting and suspenseful to read about Derrick's trek up Black Bart Pinnacle. I wondered if he would make it, or fall as did the guy in the legend. It was a great story twist to have Miranda follow him up there.

I noticed just a few small typos. You wrote 'their' a couple of times instead of 'there'. Like in this example: “They say old Black Bart would wait up their till he saw the stage coach coming up the road from Uikah."

I had to read the first two paragraphs over a couple of times in order to figure out what was going on and who was who. Of course, the action became clearer in the next few paragraphs. The first two paragraphs are your 'hook', so you might consider rewording it just a tiny bit.

I loved your story idea. You wrote a great love story, filled with suspense and adventure. I also liked how you gave your story a good closure. Nice work!

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support


This sig shines


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
222
222
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your limerick.

*Exclaim* It's snowing here where I live, so I thought it would be a great pick-me-up to read your fun, summery poem. I was right! I was cheery and sunny for sure!

I would leave the 'play ball' out of the title, because they weren't really playing ball...But that's just me.

Your limerick brought back lots of memories for me. I raised four kids and I coached a lot of softball. We did play in the sun. Summers were great for outdoor events. Fall would be nice too, though not as nice as the summertime fun. Then, boom - winter would hit.

You mentioned Australia in your poem. I've been there a few times. It's really a wonderful place. Isn't it amazing that Australia would have their winter when the other part of the world has their summer...Life can be strange sometimes! *Laugh*

Anyway, your limerick flowed well, and made me smile. Thanks for sharing. It's been great talking with you this weekend. *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann


A colorful image }


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
223
223
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your quiz.

*Exclaim* Hi there, and thanks for taking the time to create this fun quiz.

I thought it was really unique, because it really wasn't a 'knowledge' quiz at all, but rather a personal quiz about things we've done in our life. It's like reminiscing, and who doesn't enjoy that!

Gosh, I did a lot, and I only scored 27 in your quiz. Did you take this quiz yourself? I'm curious to know what your score was. You might include that in the heading. *Bigsmile*

Speaking of the heading...You might spread out the wording a bit, and add some color or emotionicons to spice it up. I also noticed a couple of typos...Such as punctuation outside of quotation marks. A quick going over would polish it up.

You thought of really interesting questions...Mixing events like travel with sports. You could add a few more, such as what type of pets we've had or charities we've been involved in. The adding of other events could make for a more rounded out picture of life experiences.

I had fun with your item. Happy Holidays!

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann


** Image ID #1965196 Unavailable **
224
224
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your activity.

*Exclaim* This is a very unique idea for a holiday activity, Gervic. You succeeded in combining fairy tale/ elf magic with a Christmas time holiday theme. The result? ...A magical fundraiser!

The images are really nice. They help to express so much fun.
...As does the message and icons at the end.

I like the idea of 'baskets'. It's so different than raffle tickets, yet we get to send them out to our WDC friends in the same way. You have all of the tough work! You are picking winners double time throughout the month! So terrific of you to do so. *Delight*

Thanks for including "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  as one of your listed groups. Much appreciated, as you know. *Heart**Delight*

I'll have to be back for more basket orders. *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann


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225
225
Review of Pet Store Friends  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

*Exclaim* What a really cute pet shop story! ...So that's what dogs talk about when they get together! LOL

Gosh, that Rollings was a bad influence! I wonder what mischief the two dogs got into after they succeeded in wiggling out of the collars! *Laugh*

Thanks for creating this fun and playful story.
Have a very wonderful anniversary month!

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann


** Image ID #1965196 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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