After the read, I get a good idea about your style and order of expression, and art of writing, as well mood of composition of a poem of this sort; you ever write anything and everything so fast, I mean, speedy and as the thoughts grow or come, I just keep writing, write on and on and on, continuously, till you finish and till your muse stops, that is why I find, truly as I do feel, there are some run on sentences and there is some loss of links between lines, as I am glad to know, as you have mentioned about the same, yes, always, and all the time, one cannot express oneself freely and justifiably, or sometime, you fail to express yourself exactly what you wanted to say or mean, and you deviate from the main theme or concept, and the work becomes poor in expression, despite your use of rich words at each line for expression of ideas, as I find, and experience the same feeling reading this poem.
There is no harm, no loss, no offence in promoting one’s own original style and keeping one’s own art of presentation and expression; only point is that sometime I am lost and the read pleasantness is off as a result there is less satisfaction in read of a poem of this.
I find, the concept is solid, the people at the summit wish to express their views or say something but you do not understand or reach them.
More so, you cannot support their viewpoint, as you fail to understand them exactly, but you being the listener and participator, you just continue and try to reach and appreciate or understand them to the fullest extent that is impossible, as you think then, apparently, and you cannot waive yourself but to be there.
I noticed what you have tried to convey in the following lines that I like and find worth to mention:
They question nothing
Of such words
Because they serve something
Beyond themselves
An whatever perils they face
They serve a greater idea
Than I could ever express
Such belief makes them without sight
Without truth of meaning
Such belief takes away
Any vision they once had
I myself
See such meaning
Such an existence
As a red flag
Within a world
As you have explained, and clarified, and tried to mean so, I find it here, you do not find any question from them, as you find them someone beyond themselves, your viewpoint about their existence and action, again, you say about the truth of their words as they have spoken some words so far, you find your role and status something interesting and unusual, just like a red flag, as it flows and waves in the air, and its existence cannot be discarded, as it is nothing more or less than a flag, but a red flag itself is a sign of danger, so you have rightly stated the stand and status here.
Obviously, I liked the following lines, where you have explained your stand clearly, voiced so explicitly and nicely in a passionate way, in the realm of practical perspective:
They are sending me
Any many others
A clear message
But I am not
Nor have I ever
Been understanding
I refuse to hear it
I refuse to believe it
I remain down here
In the muck
Just you get the words, though you are helpless, you rather find your status something inexpressible, but you appreciate their clear message, but ironically, or for reason beyond reasons, you fail to appreciate their words, and you refuse to hear and to continue to be there as a formal act on your part; this is very rightly and orderly expressed, here I find the art of your expression is well with the words.
Overall, I liked the poem and enjoyed the read of some unusual pleasantness under the shades of your art and style of expression and playing with words.
Well done.
Scribe On!
M 15102018
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber  
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