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1,125 Public Reviews Given
2,498 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Stooge Dot Net  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I loved this! What fun! Choosing the Stooges as your intended recipient as well as the inadvertent recipient is priceless!

Your word choice makes this piece a fun read. It flowed well and I saw nothing out of kilter.

Nice!

~Nikola


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102
102
Review of Two Parachutists  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

What an adventure these two took the city through! Being a "why" person, I wondered what they were doing in the first place. Thrill seekers? Terrorists? I'll go with the first since the tone of the poem is light. *Wink*

This poem flowed nicely and the word choice added to the light-hearted feel of it.

Fun read!

~Nikola


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103
103
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

It's always so difficult to lose a loved one, especially in a sudden manner. I've been there. It is a fact of life but still a hard thing to deal with.

I like how you showed the different ways that two people grieved. The descriptions of memories is nice.

There were a few words that were out of place. Once or twice I noticed tense changes.
For impact, why not choose one or two vivid memories to share with your readers? I feel it would add more impact to this piece.

~Nikola


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104
104
Review of Bookends  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I love the bookstore setting and especially the quiet spot in which to enjoy it. I think I would be camped out all the time!

This is a good scene between two people once in a relationship. I have to admit I wanted more. I wanted more detail on why it went south in the first place.

The description is good and the dialogue is believable. The awkwardness came acorss well.

~Nikola


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105
105
Review of I, Zombie  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I like that you put words to a zombie's thoughts. I never considered them to be anything but mindless brain-eaters!*Laugh*

Your choice of words brought across your point well. I smiled and I also thought about how awful it would be to be in that state.
Flow is nice.

Well done!

~Nikola


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106
106
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

While I read this I thought of my cousin. She was an absent mother to a wonderful daughter. She constantly made promises that she didn't keep. Her daughter is now married with a child of her own. While she has forgiven her mother, she is still wary of her promises.

This story brought to life the pain of the child for your readers. The words you chose easily helped your readers to be part of the story. It flows nicely right up until the conclusion. (I was proud of your character for making the decision that she did!)

Nice!

~Nikola


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107
107
Review of Sugar  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

Love it! As addicted to sugar as we are, it would come down to downright ugliness if the powers that be took that away. The high taxes on sugared items causes me to think of the cities that have considered measures on soft drinks.

The song lyric was something my dad used to sing all the time. It brought back warm memories that aren't sugar related.*Smile*

Well written. The story moves along with no skips right to the triumphant victory of the people.

~Nikola


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108
108
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your item as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I relate with this poem. So little in this world makes sense nowadays. I can see the lines of tearing down churches to build parking lots both literally and metaphorically. Either way, it's a sad tribute to the way society tends to view life.

This is well written and gets your point across nicely. Your word choice enhances that as well as the flow.

Nice work!

~Nikola


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109
109
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

You reviewed a piece of mine on December 16, 2008. Although late, I wanted to repay the favor.

After many years of wandering lost, I'm finally coming back into the Christian fold. The folder that I found this piece in caught my attention as did this story.

This story left me with a sense of hope for the human race. If a man such as this could find it in his heart to change, we all can.
I like the pay it forward message here. If we all lived in such a manner this world would be a much better place!

Well written. This flows nicely and tells the story in its entirety right up to how the banker's deed paid itself forward.

One comment:
In the first sentence, did you mean "hardcore?'

I found nothing else out of kilter. A nice read!

~Nikola


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110
110
Review of No Trespasing  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as the judge for "Top Hat's First Blizzard on Christmas"  Open in new Window. by Lesley Scott Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I really like this story! It has a different take on the "no trespassing" sign and the meaning behind it.

I like the way that you switched between characters in order for your readers to follow each separately yet it is part of the whole.

The flow and action is nicely done. I like the way you left your readers hanging--not knowing whether Tasha would tell the truth or a lie.

I found nothing out of kilter. Nice work!

~Nikola


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111
111
Review of The Chosen One  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as the judge for "Top Hat's First Blizzard on Christmas"  Open in new Window. by Lesley Scott Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

You had me right until the end of this! I was thinking in terms of fantasy and you dealt me drama and mystery. Nice!

This is well thought out. You lead your readers through Raimey's mind and his quest in a way that, when the truth comes out, they are (or should be) surprised.

And, I'll admit, you had me til the end. I thought the Great Beast was a polar bear!

Excellent!

~Nikola


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112
112
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as the judge for "Top Hat's First Blizzard on Christmas"  Open in new Window. by Lesley Scott Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

A mystery! I wonder who the girl was, how long she'd been missing, and who had left her there. You told your story in entirety and left the reader to ponder these questions.

I like the idea of the story. The plot was good and flowed well. However, I just couldn't believe the dialogue. How old were the boys? The way they spoke sounded too adult at times and not really as friends would talk to one another.


Comments:
They looked up and down the access road before slipped into the woods.Either "before they slipped into the woods" or "before slipping into the woods."

Nice!

~Nikola


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113
113
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I love music! I'm way past my teens but I still remember the feeling when I went to a concert then. I still go but the teenaged crush is gone. The music still takes me out of myself.

I guess what I'm telling you is that I can relate to your words. That's a good thing! You want your readers to feel.
Your description moves your story along with the frenetic pace of a teen girl's mind. I could feel her excitement. I could smell the smells of the concert.

Nice!

~Nikola


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114
114
Review of The Cloud Demons  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

This is ominous! Kinda reminds me of spring in Oklahoma! *Wink*

I love the choice of words. The poem builds as a storm would. Even the shape of the poem looks like building storm clouds.

One comment: base drum should be bass.

Nice!

~Nikola


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115
115
Review of The Muddy Feet  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
HI!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

This is a cute children's tale. It relates that even the one who would rather goof off than participate can still solve the band's boot problem.

This was a fun read. One thing to remember, bold the prompt words for the judge. It technically disqualifies your entry.*Frown*

~Nikola


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116
116
Review of Autumn Forecast  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I love poetry about nature, especially the changing of the seasons. I always look forward to autumn after a hot summer!*Smile*

This poem flows nicely. As I read, I saw the sights and heard the sounds of the geese. I could feel the change of season. This is exactly what poetry should do.

Nice work!

~Nikola


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117
117
Review of Nature of Wrens  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I like this take on the reasoning of the fence! Of course the wrens would love it. A new perch is always appreciated by our feathered friends.{e:smile]

I love that, instead of taking this new eyesore personally, the narrator would focus on something positive.

Love this!

~Nikola


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118
118
Review of Strange as Can Be  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge in "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I love the rhyme and how it moves the poem along. This flows well.

Sounds like a strange awakening for the narrator. I wonder what the next move was in this encounter. Oh, the possibilities!

Nice!

~Nikola


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119
119
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
HI!

Thought I'd drop by your port and take a peek.

This is quite the story! Holiday, bill or not, I just don't think I could go through with this. I think my panic attacks would have some kind of protest going on.

This is well written. The flow of the story is great. It is written in such a way that even those who aren't into Sci-fi can understand it.

I like that most is written in dialogue. This gives your readers a look into the mindset and culture of this era. We see through the eyes of those who are experiencing Cryonics.

I didn't see anything out of kilter. Nice work!

~Nikola


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120
120
Review of A Fear of Writing  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi!

You reviewed an item of mine on 9/26/07! I apologize for the delay but I am here to return the favor.*Smile*

I do something along these lines too. I've come to the conclusion that mine is a fear of failure--to myself and the story of my characters. I'm learning to write because my head is getting crowded!
Advice? Just write. Let those characters take you where they will. Of course there will be rewriting involved but wouldn't it be fun to see the end result?

Comments: When I was fifteen I was home sick from school...
I had to read this a few times to make clear your meaning. You might want to rework this sentence. (Those pesky rewrites!)

but I rarely get anything down on paper, or screen, about him.
This is an incomplete sentence. and don't forget to capitalize the first word.

I say take those characters and their stories and put them to page. Just let the writing take you away. It will surprise you when you stop and read what you've written.

~Nikola


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121
121
Review of White Balloons  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi WW!

You reviewed a piece of mine on 9/13/07! I apologize for the delay but I am here to return the favor.*Smile*

While browsing for something to read this caught my eye. Perhaps due to the fact that I just came from a funeral.

I feel you captured the vignette of the sad occasion. I could picture those left behind, ready to set their balloons to the sky in honor of this child.
You also bring to the reader the questions one would have if they drove by this scene, knowing that this was child's funeral.

You brought poetic beauty and emotion forth in this piece. I saw nothing out of kilter. It is both sorrowful and lovely.

~Nikola


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122
122
Review of Daphne  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as the judge for "Invalid Item"  Open in new Window. by A Guest Visitor . Thanks for entering!

Love this! I love how you wove Greek myth with modern times.

This is heartfelt and left me with a happy feeling. It flows nicely and the dialogue and characters are believable.

Perhaps I should find a rowan tree to sit beneath!

~Nikola


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123
123
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as the judge for "Invalid Item"  Open in new Window. by A Guest Visitor . Thanks for entering!

I really enjoyed this story! I like how it comes full circle just as nature does.

The plot flows well, leading from one generation to the next. Description brings the story home and dialogue helps to move the explanation.

I found nothing out of kilter. Nice work!

~Nikola


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124
124
Review of Roads in the Dark  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as the judge for "Invalid Item"  Open in new Window. by A Guest Visitor . Thanks for entering!

I really like this story! It is well written and enjoyable to read.

Your dialogue is wonderful! I felt as if I were there as the conversations took place. The genuine caring and emotion between mother and son shone through in their words.

The story flowed well. I saw nothing out of kilter.

Nicely done!

~Nikola


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125
125
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi!

I saw your item on the Review Request Page and thought I'd review it.

First Impression: Cute, imaginative idea! Imagination can take us anywhere and children, especially, realize this.



Comments:
Could it be? She looked up, her sparkling sand castle shape *neckless glittering in the hot June sun, snow in June?
*should be spelled "necklace"

You could make several sentences from this one. Try putting thoughts in italics to emphasize, and set them apart, for your readers.

As she stared watching the little white fluff fall from the sky, with a look of innocence and amazement she yelled, "When it snows, Santa will come?"
Again, this could be a couple of sentences. When you run a lot of information together, it confuses your readers. You want them to enjoy your work!*Wink*

*coved from head to toe
*covered


Grandpa shook his head with laughter, you girls have such an imagination, "it's June and we are on a boat on the Mississippi River."
"It's" should be capitalized.

In such a short piece, the word "fluff" is used way too many times. Use different words to describe the snow.


Character Development: Brooklyn and MJ are great little characters. I imagine they are fun to write.


Dialogue/Monologue: Each time you have dialogue or a different character is talking, set it apart in its own paragraph. This keeps from confusing your readers as to who is speaking.


Plot Structure: Not bad. I think if you worked with this and expanded it with description and sensory details, it could be a great children's story!


What Worked: The idea behind this story is wonderful! I like the idea that whatever is imagined is also real.


What Didn't Work: Structure needs a lot of work. Don't be discouraged! It's part of the writer's life to write and rewrite.*Smile*


Closing Remarks: As stated above, it needs work but the story idea is fun!

~Nikola


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