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1,125 Public Reviews Given
2,498 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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76
76
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

When I read this story, I felt emotion of loss and a sense of pride for my country.

I really like this piece. It flows well while telling the story you needed to tell. I found your characters realistic and sympathetic.

One comment:
I paused wrap my pathetic scarf tighter around my neck to try to keep warmer when a hand touched my shoulder.
The first part of this sentence reads rough.

Nice work!

~Nikola


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77
77
Review of Christmas Lights  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as the judge for "Invalid Item"  Open in new Window. by A Guest Visitor . Thanks for entering!

There is a lot more to this story I think! I like the way in which you set it up. Your description is good and the flow is nice.

I would have liked to know more. I have so many questions! What was her real mindset? Was Jenkins alive?
I take it more was taking place on Earth. Ground control would not have been left unmanned and I'm pretty sure the glow of China had nothing to do with Santa.

You do capture the beauty, and loneliness of being in space. ( I can only imagine not having been to space myself.)

Nice!

~Nikola


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78
78
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as the judge of "Invalid Item"  Open in new Window. by A Guest Visitor . Thanks for entering!

I like this story. It paints the picture of someone willing not only to take his present in his own hands but to shape his future as well. I like that the young man's goal is to help others.

Some comments:

The prompt is meant as a stand alone sentence--not something to add to.

There are several places in the story where words such as "a", "of," etc. need to be. Read your work aloud to catch these kinds of things.

I enjoyed your entry!

~Nikola


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79
79
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

What a beautiful Christmas surprise! Sometimes all we need is to know that someone cares in order to live life again.

There are some spots that are choppy. Some words are misspelled and a lot of repetition. Minor things that a rewrite can cure.

Merry Christmas!

~Nikola


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80
80
Review of Noel Surprise  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I love a good mystery, especially one as sweet as this! I like the fact that you left the mystery for your readers to contemplate.

Your poem flowed well and the word choice played the fun up.

Merry Christmas!

~Nikola


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81
81
Review of Hells gates  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your October entry as judge for "Invalid Item"  Open in new Window. by A Guest Visitor . Thanks for entering!

This story has great potential! I like the idea of the road, the car, and the final destination.

It does need some work. It reads choppy in places. It is rushed. Slow down and tell the story. Add details. Use words that evoke your readers' senses. This will have greater impact.
I think it would have greater impact if told by someone as a legend of the area or from the point of view of the girl, or boy, walking on that road.
Give it a try!

~Nikola


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82
82
Review of Emotions  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your October entry as judge for "Invalid Item"  Open in new Window. by A Guest Visitor . Thanks for entering!

I like the idea of this story. A man who has lost the woman he has lived his life for walks away and he must find himself again. I think it's a story that so many can relate to.

Try to slow the pace a little. Let the reader feel with him. Choose words that speak of emotion.

Leave spaces between paragraphs. It makes it so much easier on your readers.

Does he actually take the boat? If so, what are the consequences? It could play a huge part in him finding himself once more.

Thanks again for entering!

~Nikola


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83
83
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your October entry as judge for "Invalid Item"  Open in new Window. by A Guest Visitor . Thanks for entering!

Good for Sam! I'm glad she walked and kept going. No one deserves what she faced.

I would have loved to know his side of the story. Who was he cheating with?

This flows well. It does get wordy in places. Read your work aloud. It help you catch what doesn't quite work. (That's the best piece of advice I've ever received.)

You could run with this. Add the details of David's affair and more of how Sam grieves, and eventually, copes.

Thanks again for entering!

~Nikola


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84
84
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"  Open in new Window. by Writing.Com Support Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

Sounds like a great relationship! My sister and I are 4 years apart. Of course there was that separation once I hit junior high and high school but we grew closer as we got older.
I loved the bit about wrestling! My family and I used to attend the matches in Ft. Worth, Texas every Monday night!

I really think this story has good potential. It reads like a first draft. The verb tenses jump from past to present and back again. You could choose stronger words that evoke the senses to bring this to life for your readers. Just a little polish is all it needs.

Thanks again for entering!

~Nikola


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85
85
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"  Open in new Window. by Writing.Com Support Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I really enjoyed this story! Very imaginative and tragic. Greg takes the impact of the surgery better than I would have.

This is well written. The story flows nicely and the characters are believable. You showed Alan's character well. I found nothing out of kilter.

Nicely done!

Thanks again for entering!

~Nikola


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86
86
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"  Open in new Window. by Writing.Com Support Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

This is well written and gives your reader a good insight, not only into the mother's heart, but to the destiny of the daughter.

The mother's conversation with the mist is a wonderful tool in moving the story along. It weaves together well.

The description is wonderful. The conversation, although you readers technically hear only one side, is well done.

Nice work!

~Nikola


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87
87
Review of A Teenage Romance  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

This is a great story! I like how you bring the setting and the feelings of your character alive for your readers.

A few comments:

In one place, you have "that" twice where one would do.

When Julie called, the character said she mentioned those three dreaded words. It's four.

I love this. The prompt was to use that sentence itself as the last one. Here you used it as part of another. Be aware in future entries!

~Nikola


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88
88
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I like the idea of your story. It has a great fairy tale feel to it. I was almost expecting the dragon to be the princess in disguise!

This does need work. There are places where your sentences aren't clear and misspelled words. Just some elbow grease will do the trick.*Smile*

~Nikola


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89
89
Review of Saving Tina  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

This tugs at my heartstrings! I love animals and hate to see them mistreated.

This story flows well. You definitely got across to your readers the emotion and mindset of the little girl.

I think you could really add to this and make it even more powerful. How does the rescued dog rescue the little girl in return? Not necessarily physically but emotionally as well.

Nice job!

~Nikola


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90
90
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

While I appreciate talking to a person, I often find it difficult to convey my deepest feelings in the spoken word. I leave those words to my writing. I feel freer to express them in that format.

It sounds like Lillian is a wonderful friend! Those kinds of friends are precious.

I could tell you were trying to get more word count for your NaNo writing. I can appreciate that. The words that counted most, though, were those to your friend.*Smile*

~Nikola


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91
91
Review of Listen  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

Oh my! What a terrifying time for a little girl! I am so sorry. Thank goodness for Julie!

While this doesn't have a rhyme scheme, I feel the rawness is perfect for the subject. This poem is heartfelt and your words show not only the terrible events but the gratitude for an adult who would listen to a frightened child.

My heart goes out.

~Nikola


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92
92
Review of Memories Scream  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I like that you don't specifically mention where these halls are. Two places came to mind for me--a childhood home or school. Others might find other places called to mind.

I'm not good at writing structured poetry but I love to read others' work. This flows nicely and the word choices are beautiful.

Nice!

~Nikola


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93
93
Review of He Said, She Said  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

Opposites attract, right? I like this tale, in poetic form, relating the differing points of view. I would be more like the husband. I'm not fond of gatherings, especially large ones or those with people I don't really know.

I like how you shared his feelings on parties and how the couple had differing memories. I think I would have bopped her on the head for the constant correcting!*Laugh*

The flow is nice as well as the rhyme.

~Nikola


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94
94
Review of Thirteen Pumpkins  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm belatedly reviewing your entry for "Invalid Item"  Open in new Window. by A Guest Visitor . Thanks for entering!

This is a perfect poem for me to read today. We had a major cold front move in last night and it is cold! The last two lines sums up today in my neck of the woods.

This is a fun poem. I could picture the pumpkins lined up with different faces carved on them.

Again I apologize for the lateness of my review.

~Nikola


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95
95
Review of The Message  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

Nothing like fear to heighten a good surprise! I guess Randy's mother knew him well because I would never had taken those kinds of chances!

In the very first paragraph, you switch from first to third person. Watch for that.

I do like the way you wove the story. Your description was nice. I especially loved
Dishes in the sink. No one broke in to wash them. Whew!

With a few touch ups here and there this could be a really great piece!

~Nikola


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96
96
Review of Compass Points  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

I love your take on what gave Einstein his love of science! It truly does take the right nudge to fuel our inner geniuses.

A fun rhyme scheme! I have no idea how you find some of these words to match up. Obviously a vocabulary greater than mine.*Wink* Those "big" words, though, fit perfectly with the character that you illustrate here.

The poem flows nicely. A delight to read.

~Nikola


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97
97
Review of The Last Phone?  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

An interesting take on the prompt. My question is how long has civilization been this way and is there a power source to charge the phone. Trivial thoughts in the bigger picture.

Your story flowed nicely and your characters are believable. The dialogue and description are great.

Nice!

~Nikola


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98
98
Review of The Real Action  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"  Open in new Window. by Sophy Author Icon . Thanks for entering!

You had the first character, so far, that had the sense to call the police about the package! That's exactly what I would have done.

The dialogue is great! I love the thoughts about the cavalier attitudes of some of the cops.

My one thought: if it had been suspected as a bomb, the authorities would have had the bomb squad come to the scene. It's too risky to take the chance of what happened here to take place. However, for the sake of your ending, it worked.

~Nikola


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99
99
Review of Soul Attraction  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm belatedly reviewing your entry for the September edition of "Invalid Item"  Open in new Window. by A Guest Visitor . Thanks for entering!

While vampires have been done to death (pardon the pun), I like this story!

I love the description of the church. I could envision it. I like the way you led your readers slowly to reveal the identity of the lighter of the candles. At first I thought it would be Satan but you surprised me again with the true identity.

Nice job!

~Nikola


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100
100
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm belatedly reviewing your entry for the September edition of "Invalid Item"  Open in new Window. by A Guest Visitor . Thanks for entering!

I like this story! Jake faced his fears and found himself on quite an adventure.

The story flows well. Your description brings your reader's senses to life. I could feel the damp of the cave, the darkness.
Dialogue is great. Laughed out loud at the limerick!

You could go wold with these characters and the adventures they will share.

Nice!

~Nikola


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