*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rinsoxy/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2
Review Requests: ON
1,751 Public Reviews Given
1,752 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 -2- 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
26
26
Review of The Firemen  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a great story. It follows the prompt well, but for me the hopping around from one point of view to the other was a little jarring. I don't expect that kind of thing in a short story. It really didn't seem to give either character the platform they needed to be fully developed. I would really like to see how it would read if you stuck to one character's point of view through the story and built the character of the other character through the thoughts and impressions of him and the way they change through the story. To me the main character, or at least the band "leader" is a real jerk who doesn't want to do what is necessary for the band to have success. The drummer has good valid suggestions to improve the band but he gets shouted down. With the point of view split between the two the characters have equal weight in the story and it is a little confusing which one is the supporting character the prompt requires. I think it should have been all from the point of view of the leader.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
27
27
Review of Bumble Boy  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
That was an incredibly sad story. The ending was horrible. To have so much talent ripped away like that. I had a twinge of worry when the disposer was mentioned, but didn't think it would end like that. It was not until they were playing in the kitchen that I realized what was about to happen. I stopped reading at that point and didn't finish it until this afternoon. Sad, very sad.
28
28
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Interesting idea. Dial an age. I would have so much trouble deciding what age to pick. My whole life is a blend of the good and the bad. there aren't many points I would want to suffer the bad again just to get the good. My luck I would dial myself to an age where I couldn't work a phone to try again...
29
29
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is a disgusting chapter but it fits the genre very well. The state bill is in turns my stomach. I am just glad he has not been captive long enough for his wounds to have drawn maggots. I could see that happening. The backstory is definitely being shown and not told. There are still things we do not know about the characters. The relationship issues seem pretty complicated. Bill and James have both wooed her and both have let her down. The question is whether or not she will accept the psychopath as her man
30
30
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Oh boy. A severed finger, a rat, a kidnapped husband, this is a real horror story brewing. I want to know more about James. How does she know him? Why is the husband alive but disfigured. Ho tight is the money in the house? Wife works, husband works, they have a roommate who presumably helps financially. How much are their housing costs? It does not seem like the house is in great shape. Four people in the household three of them financially contribute what other bills do they have? Sorry, their is less story in this chapter than there could be.
31
31
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Psychopath much. James sounds like a total stalker. Does he actually have a relationship with her or does he just think he does. So he's killed the husband and the roommate. Is he going to kill her if she does not respond the way he thinks she should? There is a child in this mess too? Totally not good. The woman is in desperate need of help and she does not even know it yet. This is scary. Definitely a psychological thriller. Stalkers are very scary especially if the victim is not aware of the extent their obsession.
32
32
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Poor Smokey he was a bonified hero and then lost the two cats he loved the most. I hope his second life is a good one. One thing, you talked about the Kennedy assasinaton and then shortly after that the girl's kidnapping.at the kidnappers house Christine mentioned leaving her cell phone at home. The time frame for that isn't right. She couldn't have had a cellphone. You also might want to double check that 911 had been created by that point. It didn't always exist. That is the trouble with historical fiction, you have to make sure to avoid anachronisms.
33
33
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a really original take on the life of cats. Has misty been "fixed" yet? Because surely he would have fathered siblings by now if he hasn't. I love the portal stuff. I can't wait to read the next chapters. I am going to as soon as I finish this review. I love the characters so far. I do wonder who Misty's dad thinks about when he portals. Does he ever portal to see Misty's mom. I also wonder about the kitten with a broken leg. How much does a cat remember when it is reborn. And is it's rebirth like the first one?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
34
34
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
It fits the form. it is rather enigmatic. What are the souls mourning? It is almost a morbid poem to me. Like the sky has died, devoured by night. Does that mean it could be devoured by day as well? The sky is a character in this poem as well as the moon. The light bright enough to wake implies the moon is full. perhaps it devoured the sky if it is so full. Blue moons are supposed to be rare and special. But they are just the name for a regular full moon that has arrived with specific timing. This poem sent my thoughts in some odd directions.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
35
35
Review of Unanchored.  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Omg! I won't ask you if you are okay. I know you are not. I have lost fur babies before. sometimes it is harder than others. I know when I lose my Gracie it is going to tear me apart. People will give you conflicting advice. Some will say to wait and the right fur baby will come to help you. Some will say to rush out and buy one to replace her. I don't think either way. I think you should follow the path that helps your hurt. When you do feel like it is time, go to a shelter, be open to anything that calls to you and remember it is your chance to save a life in her honor.
36
36
Review of Take A Breath  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an awesome poem with a strong positive message. It is short with few words but is a mountain of inspiration. The simple instructions on breathing end up bringing the reader to a place of empowerment. It is an open call to improve your situation that makes no restrictions on gender, race, religion, age or political affiliations. It is just a good poem placed in the world to do good for all who meet it. The title is deceptively simply as are the instructions but it is something best shared with others.
37
37
Review of Eyes of Mist  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Crap, didn't see that coming. The real one to have started the war is the younger prince's advisor. Why was he so set on it though. And how did this lead to the disfiguration of a complete nation? Is there another layer of blame to consider? Does the vendetta go back another generation? I have been so surprised by this story so far that I don't have any clue on the resolution of the conflicts ancient or otherwise. I would like to see the two main characters end up together, and having that somehow be a part of mending everything else.
38
38
Review of Eyes of Mist  
for entry "9 - Doubts" 
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
No, I am sure this chapter was shorter than before, noticably so. But it had as much happen in it almost all of the earlier ones. I hope there is enough magic left in this place to fix the damage done to this world. It would suck if it weren't true. I am also really curious about who's fault the war is. Is it the Illian or the Mencun. Or is it everyone's fault and the unicorn just up and left them to sort it all out. I feel like jorcans people were least at fault and that they caught the crap end of the stick.
39
39
Review of Eyes of Mist  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
There were two kingdoms, but one of the appears to have been split into two and the first appears to be about to be extinguished. The three characters are necessary to complete the healing for all of them. Interesting... This really is a complex and well built narrative. I have certain expectations and they keep being overturned and reset by the progression of the story. Two brothers at each other's throats turn into a multiple generational war. This is a lot more complicated and finely crafted than the simple summary would indicate.
40
40
Review of Eyes of Mist  
for entry "7 - White Woods" 
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Ooh I thought this was a story of two characters but really it is the story of three. I can't wait to read more of the writer's story. To me it seems like these chapters are getting shorter but so much more is happening in them than the earlier ones. I do wonder about the world outside. How the war is going. I also have begun to question who the real villains behind the war are. I don't think her people are as innocent as she and the writer seems to think that they are. The doors open for him not for her.
41
41
Review of Eyes of Mist  
for entry "6 - The Guardian" 
Review by Sox and Sandals
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Amputated? Whoa man. He seems a lot different he really has begun to care about her. too bad this adventure has cost her her arm. What possessed her to leap to his defense?

It is good to know that the writer can affect the situation, but it sucks he does such a puss poor job of it. What I want to know is which faction this city belongs to.

The writing is smooth and well paced this story is far more compelling than I expected it to be from the summary. Something needs to be done with that to improve the likelihood people will move on to reading this it really is worth it
42
42
Review of Eyes of Mist  
for entry "5 - Dark Journey" 
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Ooh so there is a reason the all wear masks. But why are they malformed? Is it a case of the cruelty within being reflected on the outside? Was there some kind of plague that altered their DNA? Did the parents systematically deform their own children so they would look alike? If so why did they start? Does it have to do with some kind of magic? The character building is bringing the two characters closer together but to what real end. Will she learn his viscousness or will he take interest in her attitude of compassion?
43
43
Review of Eyes of Mist  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Ooh interesting. He does not want to kill her. It feels like more than weak thankfullness for her care. He really is different than the rest of his people, but is he strong enough to not get killed for that difference? Why is she the one that was trapped with him? What about the combination of the two of those people could be what brings enough change to end the war. It is already clear the girl is special from the writer's attitude towards her. What doe the writer think of the Prince though? I can't wait to see.
44
44
Review of Eyes of Mist  
for entry "3 - Departure" 
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is getting really good. I love the two characters one on each side of the conflict. I question where this man built cave came from. And why it chooses that moment to collapse on these two characters in particular. I wonder if the rank of the Prince will offer him any more credibility than the average soldier when he encounters the world changing knowledge I sense he and the girl are about to encounter together. He is just peculiar enough an example of his people that I believe he might be able to absorbed it.
45
45
Review of Eyes of Mist  
for entry "2 - Dark Clouds" 
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
The writer is being drawn into the story in a way he didn't expect because of the girl. It reminds me of the neverending story in the way that there are the characters in the story and then an over story with a reader or in this case writer being affected by it. Is there something way he can affect the story. Can the characters hear him like they sometimes can in the neverending story? The young prince reminds me of prince zuko in Avatar the last air bender. He seems open to a way of thinking the rest of his people are not open to.
46
46
Review of Eyes of Mist  
for entry "1 - Peaceful Days" 
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I like the beginning with the soldiers seeking the fate of the unbreakable fortress. The way they are picked off in the mists is kind of creepy it makes me wonder what kind of Uber warriors the invaders were when the thoughts of the scout is that it seemed strange that they were capable of taking out the fortification. The two sides seem to know little except a just because hate of the other. Does anyone really remember why this war began? What about the mysterious writer in the white land. Is he writing what has happened or what will happen?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
47
47
Review of Eyes of Mist  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This would be better formatted in a book format rather than separate items that are linked as chapters it is for the ease of review let's and readers this way of formatting depends an awful.lot on the back button to get the whole story. It is also easier to write in a book format because it allows for easier outlining and editing individual chapter while keeping it easy to see an overview of the story. The summary of the story could be a little tighter. Giving more of the feeling and energy of the story. You shouldn't judge a book by it's cover but you better bet people are going to judge it and decide to read it based on the summary. It needs more action words and showing than the simple third grade book report description. You are trying to entice or seduce readers with your blurb. It is the first and sometimes only chance to hook your reader into reading what you wrote.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
48
48
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This seems unfinished. It feels like the end note should include the other examples of the historical wonders of the world. The end note appears to be part of a broken drop note. If properly done it would add to the story about lighthouses rather than taking from it. As it is formatted it detracts from the essay.

The essay itself is strong focused and informative it takes a less than pertinent subject and makes it accessible. I learned a lot about the historical workings of lighthouses. I hadn't considered where the light had come from before electricity. I think we should have more working lighthouses just in case of the technical failure of modern navigation means.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
49
49
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Man I feel sorry for Liam. From the first chapter I read this is not how I thought chapter five would turn out. This is the type of story I consider a guilty or hypocritical pleasure. Oh look at how awful the lives of these rich people are, with all of their money, and influence, and fame. It is just so rough to have parents expectations to live up to when they come with solid gold safety nets. Why do I like these stories? Perhaps it is because some people like this author can make the practically alien worlds of these characters vibrant ban relatable.
50
50
Review of Bear  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This appears to be a piece in progress. It suffers from a few places where thoughts haven't been completed, or divided from one another. I think that this would be better served with separate paragraphs describing each individual type of bear. Also I am not sure that American black bears eat bamboo, which is how the sentence currently reads. This has the potential to be an informative and interesting article. Thank you for presenting this for us to read please continue to work on it and send me a link to the completed article so I can re review it. If you need help with linking items or reopening items you already began check out "Noticing Newbies"  for assistance.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
818 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 33 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rinsoxy/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2