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804 Public Reviews Given
1,204 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about," I see Them - Heavy Metal." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

“I see Them - Heavy Metal,” is an emotional poem about a soldier in war. It makes a powerful statement using some great imagery. You added a lot of intensity to the poem towards the end by repeating the words,”I see them…” Indeed the reader can see them also, in his mind’s eye as they read this. It was an excellent choice to use those same words in your title.

I didn’t notice any errors in this piece, however, I am a bit perplexed as to why you used the divisions of verses with broken lines. Thanks for sharing your poem with us and keep writing.
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Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,Rock-Bottom Dwelling." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

The poem has some great imagery to describe the old house and I enjoyed the read a lot. My favorite part is,” The house looks like death In every respect Its walls are too tired To stand straight for long.” Your rhyme was good and I found that you used a scheme of which I am not too familiar with, but like. Thanks for sharing your poem with us and keep writing.
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Review of Dreams  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Dreams." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

You have written some good vivid descriptions of a drowning victim, although I’m not sure if the pain is a drug. I have read once,that a person who is drowning and fighting for life, afterwards just gives in, and because the brain is suffering from lack of oxygen, they feel euphoric and at piece. As horrible as drowning is, I believe it isn’t too painful of a death. However, I do see what your are trying to do with this piece, and that is fine, however, if you write it more grammatical correct it would present much better, and be understood better also. I would be happy to read and review this again after you make some edits. Thanks for sharing this piece with us, and keep writing.
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Review of Love is  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.


"Love is,” A nice piece expressing what the author feels that love is. My favorite part is, “Love is a blazing in my zigzag." Maybe my interruption of that is different from what it is, never-the-less, I like it. Well done! Thanks for sharing and keep writing.
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Review of Aftermath  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Aftermath." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

There is a lot of imagery throughout this piece which makes the reader feel as if they are experiencing this scene for themselves. It is very well written and I didn’t notice any errors in punctuation or grammar. Well done. Thanks for sharing and keep writing.
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Review of Who I am  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Who I am," Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

“Who I am,” is a free form poem which very nicely shows the emotions about being whom you are, as you are going through different stages of life. It sort of reminded me of a book I once read titled; “The Season's of a Man's Life by Dr. Daniel J. Levinson. Well done! Thanks for sharing your poem with us and keep writing.
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Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"The Yellow Mustang." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.


“The Yellow Mustang,” is a fine story and you were able to bring out some good imagery to the reader. Your title is fitting for this story and the characters developed well. I am assuming that this piece was written with some word count restrictions because I felt that you could have described the driver a lot more, and more importantly, tell more about the child who was hit by the car. What happened to him? It keeps the reader wondering.

A little side note: I think that cars on beaches, especially crowded and popular ones is a bad idea. St Augustine beach allows this as well; at least they use to. At any rate, the accident/crime was witnessed by you and others. Surely the first responders would be the ambulance and the beach patrol, followed by the police. After interviewing the witnesses, and given the information that you probably gave to them, I find it somewhat peculiar that the camera and/or film were not taken into custody. But hey, they often do things a lot differently down here than they do up north.

I found a few things that you may want to consider. It is a little redundant in some areas. For instance;” Cheryl looked beautiful in her lime green bikini, barely covering her perfect tan.” Then later you mention Cheryl’s tan again;” Her slim tanned body was a perfect match.” Then again you mention;” There, right on top, was a photograph of Cheryl, her tanned skin…”

Also I noticed a typo. [discriptions] should be descriptions.
All in all though, you have a good start to a much larger piece, and it would be worth your efforts to work on. Thanks for sharing your story with us and keep writing.
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Review of Secrets  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Secrets." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

“Secrets,” is a poem that says a lot in its five short verses. The secrets we hold can do damage to us-“they tear and they rip,” and often times they do bind us so we can’t let go. You have done a fine job bringing this across in this piece.
This poem is written in free form and doesn’t have a particular syllable count. The rhythm is good, although I found a few places where it presented a bit of a problem for me. In your 1st verse, last line, I feel that you can drop the word [just.] Also, and even more so, in the 2nd verse last two lines, can be shortened a little. This would give the piece a more constant rhythm; I think.

Also, please note two typos. One is in the 2nd verse, 1st line-{your] should be you’re and in the 4th verse [covented] should be [coveted] All in all though, this is a good poem. Nice job! Thanks for sharing your poem with us and keep writing.
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Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"A shadow from the past." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.


You wrote a good story giving the reader a glimpse of your Indian culture. I especially thought that the conversation with your son was very good. Your characters are well defined and the story read quite well, having good flow despite a few grammatical errors. I feel that you have a good grasp on the language and encourage you to keep writing. Thanks for sharing this with us.
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Review of Why?  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Why." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

“Why,” is a piece that asks the question… Why? Basically we all ask why to life, and most times we get no answers. We are just left to speculate what the answers are. Maybe they all, are not for us to know. “Why, seems never to have an answer. And if it does, then it doesn't want to talk!” this is indeed an interesting piece, and something different I might add. Good job! Thanks for sharing and keep writing.
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Review of I LOVE YOU  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"I Love You." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.


“I Love You,” is a good piece written about your feelings of separation from your family. It is a piece that many others can relate to also, because, although you have written this poem about your own particular feelings of being separated from your family, it is still characteristic of all the others who are deployed and miss their families as well. Nice job!

My only suggestion to you is to not use all capital letters. I feel your words are powerful enough, and they emphasize your thoughts, so that the caps are not needed, and they are just distracting from the poem. It is just my own personal opinion though and ultimately you are the author and will decide for yourself. Thanks for sharing your poem with us and keep writing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review of Lost  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Lost." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

“Lost” is a piece that has a lot of emotions running throughout it. I am not quite sure, however, if you intend this to be poem or song lyrics. I am assuming by your subtext that it is lyrics, since you state that it was “Something I wrote for my band.” If this be the case, I can’t really give a good assessment, since I am not hearing the music that goes with it.

As a musician myself, our band has done its fair share of original material. I helped write some of it. However, I never wrote the lyrics, only the music. I hear sounds, notes, rhythm, before I hear the words. The two has to mesh together to really make it work. Thus, there goes any fair assessment of this piece in regards to the lyrics. That’s just me though. Other people, musicians included, may be different.

But what I will say is that I do like what you wrote. The content of it is great. My favorite part is; “I've been mislead by the voices i hear I'll open a door but close it in fear” Very nice words. People hear many voices telling them which way to go. Choosing the right path, by knowing the right voice (hopefully one will recognize Gods voice), and ignoring all the others, is a learning experience.

One comment and suggestion that I have for you is to capitalize the [I’s] like in the word I’m etc. Other than this I see no other problems. Nice job on this piece. Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing.
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Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi Jemma,

Here are my thoughts about,"Stars in the night sky." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

“Stars in the night sky,” is a very nice poem which has some great imagery throughout. I think that many of us, me included, go about our life sometimes ignoring all that’s around us. We get too busy, stressed, and caught up by other things. We must do it all! We want to be in control of all of our life situations-the ones we can change, and the ones we can’t. However,if we stop for a moment and look up at the stars, seeing the vastness of our universe, we begin to realize how incomprehensible it is to us. We begin to understand just how finite we really are. We’re not in control of all things after all, are we? The stars are indeed beautiful glimmering lights in the night sky. Very nice job!

I see that for the most part you wrote this poem in quatrains. However, you changed it up on the 2nd verse, then afterwards, you went back to using quatrains for the remainder of the piece. I would suggest that you add a line to this verse, and then separate the verse into two quatrains. You may have to consider re-working the rhyme in some way to keep your rhyme scheme constant. All in all though, still a fine poem. Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review of Lock And Key  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Lock And Key." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

"Lock And Key," is a nice poem showing how two lovers together,are joined as one. Each one needing the other, and when apart, there is brokenness-emptiness there. They are meant to be together like a lock and key. Nicely done!

The one thing that I wish to make comment on for your consideration is to join together, like lock and key,(pun intended) some of the words that you have extended into different lines, to make them all one thought. For instance, something like;
“They come together the last moment

To share jokes remembered

Feelings touched as the Hearts Merge

And the key is locked in place forever together”



I think that this would make this fine poem present itself much better. However, that is just my own opinion, you are the author so of course the choice is entirely up to you. Thanks for sharing this poem with us. I enjoyed reading it. Keep writing.
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Review of Waiting  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Waiting." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

“Waiting,” is a nice poem. It has a good flow and the rhythm seems to move along smoothly despite the syllabics being off in places. The imagery comes out very nicely with your well chosen words. I really like the lines, “The ripples of the drops, tossed to standing waters. This is very nicely worded. Good job! Thanks for sharing and keep writing.
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Review of Lost  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Lost." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

“Lost;” is an emotional poem about a young girl grieving over the death of her father. You bring out all of the emotions that are felt by this girl, and do so quite well. I hope that the subject of this poem isn’t you. If so, I extend my sympathy to you and your family, and I can say, as many of us do, I understand your grief. It seems that all of the elements are there for the girl. She grieves, she feels anger, she questions why, now finally she must accept and move on. It is a process, and everyone handles it in their own way and time. You’ve done a fine job on this piece.

There are a few things that I noticed that you may want to consider editing. Mainly they are spelling issues. Some noticed are:[battle] should be battle. [i] needs to be capitalized. [dont] needs an apostrophe. [crys] should be cries. [probluems] should be problems. None of the things that I mentioned here are big problems and they can very easily be corrected. It would make all the difference in the world, and the poem will present itself much better. Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Hush Little Victim." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Hush Little Victim, is a dark poem that is based on the children’s lullaby, "Hush Little Baby." I am certainly no expert on poems in this particular genre, however, I have written one or two of them myself. I like the idea of this piece. The fact that it’s, as you put it, twisted, just made me want to read it all the more. You have a good concept for this piece, it just can use some more work to give it that edge, and to make it an even better poem.

I found a few things with this piece that doesn’t seem quite right to me. For instance- in the rhythm- I felt that in a few different lines of the poem you were either lacking a syllable, or added one too many of them. For instance, in the line, “A will kill a mocking bird.” I feel as though you need to add a syllable between kill and a. “I will kill_ a mocking bird.” Whereas, in the line,” A will get you with a looking glass,” This line seems like there are one too many syllibles. I would think that you don’t need to use the word [with]

The next thing that you may want to consider for revision is the word [A] “A will get you with,” “A will strangle you,” and so forth, really threw me off when I read through this piece. I think if you use the first person pronoun I, it would be much better. I often think that these types of dark pieces work quite nicely when they are written in the first person. It sort of gets the reader inside the mind of the killer, mad man, psyco, or whatever. That really makes for a creepy feel to a piece. Also, I would like to mention that you could have made some better word choices in a few different areas. An example of this would be in the line,” Autumn Leaves will slit your throat.” Autumn leaves don’t seem to fit in here. The same applies to some of your rhyme. Some of the words do not rhyme and, in my opinion, should be changed.

I realize that all this may seem like a lot. I also realize that you may feel that it is harsh criticism on your poem; However, I assure you that it is not. I am just offering my opinions, for whatever they’re worth, in the spirit of helping you. I would be happy to read and rate you poem again after you make some edits. Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review of Brain Strain  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Brain Strain," Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

“Brain Strain,” this poem about making decisions has a nice tone to it. You were able to bring the point across, and do so with a nice lighthearted humor. The flow is nice, as is the rhythm. Your rhyme is very good also, and your choice of using the a-a-b-b rhyming scheme seemed to suit the poem well. Thanks for sharing this with us. Keep writing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Praying For A Sign." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

“Praying For A Sign,” is a wonderfully written emotional piece which shows the love of a woman for her man. The only thing that I didn't quite understand is why they are apart.It isn't clear on this point. I guess it is open for the reader to decide.
”I kneel before you here today
I pray for my man every day"


This heartfelt prayer to God for their man will surely be heard by Him. The total idea of someone praying for their man or woman, (husband or wife)surely is the right thing to do, and by doing this on a daily basis,it can only draw the couple closer to each other and to God.

The syllabics used here is good and consistent giving the poem a nice steady rhythm. The rhyme scheme chosen, a-a-b-b was good and you used a good choice of rhyming words which give a good feel to the piece. I particularly liked that you used epistrophe. It was a beautiful phrase;”Show me the sign, my God above.” Very well done!

On a completely different note you mention in your sub text about writing from a woman’s perspective. This brought to my mind the movie “As Good as it Gets.” In it, a Receptionist asks Kevin Udall (Jack Nicholson) “How do you write women so well? He answered;” I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.” I love that movie. At any rate, I just thought I would make mention of it. Thanks for sharing your poem with us. I look forward to reading more of your work soon. Keep writing.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"art an Expression of the Heart." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

“Art an Expression of the Heart" Your title sums up this poem perfectly. Poetry- writing- is certainly an art, and moreover, an expression of what the author is feeling. They bring out all of their emotions, and even their very soul, to the page for others to read. Like music is pleasing to the ear so is the poetry writen on the page or read aloud. This poem, which is in the free verse style is nicely written. Good job! Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review of Last Gift  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Last Gift." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

“Last Gift,” is a short and powerful piece in which the reader cannot help but feel the all of the emotions that’s poured out upon the page. It left this reader silent after reading it. Very moving! Super job on this story!
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Review of Different Power  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Different Power." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.


“Different Power, compares and contrasts two different people working together as a team in spite of their differences. They feel conflicted about their differences but eventually come to the realization that these differences complement one another.

In this free form piece I have noticed several errors that you may want to take a look at. One of these is the word, [Unfortunently ] it should be spelled [Unfortunately] [others] should be [other’s] [hid] should be [hide.] Also, I think that the line; “Many times, they tried to match and truce,” should be worded differently. It seems a bit confusing to me, (match and truce.)

You are off to a good start with this piece. I just feel that it can use a little tweaking to make it better. They are all easy fixes to make and correcting them would be well worth your effort. Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review of One By One  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"One By One." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

One by one is a free form poem displaying the emotions of the writer and his feeling of falling in love. The poem has a nice flow for the most part, however, I felt that in the first verse, third line;” As the darkness of the night” should have been worded differently to make it a bit shorter; thus making it to be more in line with the rhythm of the rest of the piece. At any rate, all this aside, you have done a fine job on this piece. My favorite part of your poem is; "The dreams so subtle The heart so true One by one Falling for you." Good job! Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Thick With Nothing:A Lost Paradise." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.


“Thick with Nothing: a Lost Paradise,” is an excellent piece that takes you into the mind of an insane patient. You have captured the thoughts and feelings of this individual very well. The way you structured your sentences, in an almost short type staccato rhythm, gave this piece an urgent tension which was needed for the type of character portrayed. The story grabbed and held this readers attention right from the very start, and your vivid imagery is fantastic. Very well done! I didn’t notice any errors in this. Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review of A Day in the Life  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,A Day in the Life." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

“A Day in the Life,” is a tale which shows the reader about the way human nature is. It is the same way now, as it was back then in ancient Rome; and even before that time too. I liked your story and thought that it was interesting to read how the character was in shock seeing a young boy being drug through the streets, but making no attempt to help him. Ironically, at the end, he too was beaten and robbed, while there was no one there to come to his aid. Although dark, I liked the ending, and thought that you brought out the thoughts of the dying man very well.

There are several areas that need to be edited for punctuation and grammar. It would be a wise decision to go over these and make the corrections because it would improve your story and give it a nicer presentation. The one place that I immediately had some difficulty with is the first sentence of the first paragraph. I feel it should be re-worded for clarity. Perhaps even separated into two sentences would help. I suggest you consider doing something in this particular area. All in all though, I thought you’ve done a fine job on this story. Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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