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Review Requests: ON
556 Public Reviews Given
562 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Overall impression, likes, suggestions, positive closing. I am honored to do reviews upon request, usually on the first day 2023 Quill Winner 2023 BEST REVIEWER
I'm good at...
...emphasizing positive things in addition to at least one suggestion2023 Quill Winner 2023 BEST REVIEWER
Favorite Genres
Biography, short stories, all styles of poetry.
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, Dark because I am not fond of voluntarily being scared.
Favorite Item Types
True stories and experiences
Least Favorite Item Types
Anything that scares me
I will not review...
I will review anything. I have reviewed books, however, they take a lot of time, the turnaround is longer than 3 days.
Public Reviews
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Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Elliot,

Welcome to our writing community. I have the privilege to review Not Your Average Suicide Note. I will share my thoughts which are just one person’s opinions. You may take away what is useful to you.

Overall impression: This was slam poetry on a controversial topic. You covered everything I can think of regarding how the act would be seen, and judged, and the impact on the people who touched a life.

The story is organized in order of importance which seems natural and flows well from one person to the next. The tone felt matter of fact, void of passion. Stating what you believe would happen and asking the most important question, does anyone care?

Because of the sensitive topic, you should have a trigger warning on your piece. It can be disturbing to some readers. Mechanically, one correction is in this sentence: my mind is telling me its so unrealistic, its should be it’s.

Thank you for sharing your slam poetry. I see you are not new to writing and look forward to reading more.

tracker,

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Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Hope,

Although I doubt I will ever have the need to know this, your instructions on how to lace needlework are crying out for you to do a YouTube video. You could get followers and even make some side cash. It would, however, require time which you have precious little of.

You could artistically make an envelope of sorts, print and insert the instructions, and sell them in your shop. I can't write the instructions as you did, but my mind floats to innovative ideas to expand the idea into the merchant aspect. Nice job on what looks to me like pretty solid steps.

Pointing out that your customers could save money, even though it reduces your profit, is the sign of an ethical and reliable business woman. I continue to see so much talent, this and your poetry for Wonderland's activity, for example. It must be gratifying not only to do the work but to also receive some praise which I think would make it even more rewarding. Keep up the great writing. You never know when I will drop in, unannounced and review it. Way to go, Hope!

Write on!
tracker
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153
153
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Kristina,

Thank you for The March Hare's Tea-Time Word Search Game. I like to do the searches, even have physical search books, but don't do them as often as I play some other online games. Your puzzle was challenging, which I like. It seems like there are so many, many activities as you traipse around Wonderland.

Congratulations for making this great word search. Rooting you on to more success!!!

Write on!
tracker
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154
Review of That October  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing your Grandpa's story. Your questions may not all be answered, but having you in his life was your gift to him, as his to yours. It seems you were the only one who produced a "spark" giving his life meaning and depth. Your imagery is superb. "Donned the guilt like a heavy coat" and "My grief had to go scavenging for comfort" are two of many examples. Finding the remaining part of him on the ground and covering up was moving. I am sorry for your loss.

One small correction is needed in the middle of the next to last paragraph, "I felt your lost most poignantly." Lost should be loss.

Thank you for sharing this most tragic event in your life. You are a gifted writer.

Write on!
tracker
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155
155
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Jenn,

I saw your name on a note perhaps on newsfeed and was curious about your name. I browsed around and thought I would go back to the beginning of your health story. I am reviewing "My Insanity-A Glimpse Into My Head." These are solely my opinions which I hope will be useful to you.

What I liked: I liked the way you were able to organize your thoughts to explain the intermittent helpless then hopeful emotions which is why it is called bi-polar. In addition, the way people around you treat this kind of illness is less than desirable. They would not act that way if you had a broken leg, for example. An additional stressor for you may be when you are constantly asked if you took your medicine.

Bravo for feeling secure to share your illness in your writing. I plan to read most of what you have written because it is a subject I relate to and am interested in. If you have any questions feel free to contact me. Have a good evening

Write on!
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#1300305 by Maryann

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Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Alicia,

I stopped by to see how you were doing now that you've been at WDC for over four months. I noticed your story "Pre-teen Experience" which I am reviewing.

Overall impression: You have written about the changes you experienced going into 5th and 6th grades. I was pleased to hear things were improving a little. I was happy that your school helped you out with some important things you needed.

What I liked: You write with a conversational style as if you were telling me the story while we were sitting in your living room. You include a lot of detail which I appreciate knowing. I could relate to your story since it is an important, memorable time in a girl's life with so many changes.

It would help me read more easily if it was double-spaced. The long paragraphs could be split so there is not so much information to process at one time, while reading your story details. One correction is in a few places you start out with "Me and Destiny" or another friend. The correct way is to write "Destiny and I."

Thank you for writing your memories. Bullying continues to escalate in our country, especially in the middle school ages. You have a permanent history of what happened and how you felt about it. Good job!

Write on!
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#1300305 by Maryann

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Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Since I was already visiting your portfolio, I looked around and found this piece, "Blade (a hydrydol)" copyright in 2007, but just added to your port, to review. Here are a few thoughts I hope will be useful to you.

Overall impression: I was excited the poem has a large font. I currently have an eye problem (cataracts) where I need the larger font to see much of anything. The rhythm pulsed as I read along. Sweeping large thoughts conveyed with words specific to each lesson and each season. Superb!

Your poem is flawless. Congratulations on a job well done. It was a pleasure to read and enjoy your biographical story told in terms of how a blade acted in what circumstances. My favorite lines are "Teach us manners, love and passion, disciplined by stone-cold blade." Terrific use of the poem style as lyrics. Thank you for your powerful poem. It left me with a full story from childhood through death. Bravo!

Write on!
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#1300305 by Maryann

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Review of Nature's Bounty  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello MJones,

Welcome to writing.com (WDC). Your poem Nature's Bounty showed up in the Read & Review area. I am pleased to give you some thoughts about your poem.

Overall impression: The immediate view of the poem centered on the page was aesthetically pleasing. I was hooked with the first couple of words. The imagery is unmatched: superb. Your word choices provided a layer to your work that few create. The rhythm with the rhyme moved the story along at a nice mild pace. I loved this poem a lot.

I find the poem flawless mechanically, and can't think of a single suggestion of anything to work on. It is ideal as written.

What I liked: Words that when coupled created sights, sounds, and smells that demonstrated an expressive bounty in nature. Original descriptions based on opposites like "Symphonies of feathers" turned the poem from ordinary to extraordinary. The words awakened my senses imagining the sound, or perhaps absence of sound, of feathers either loudly flapping on wings or quietly falling ground. In addition, I imagined the "cloud creatures" as I recalled laying in my backyard as a young person, spending many hours, naming the animals, or other shapes I saw.

Congratulations on a wonderful poem that I related to and felt my emotions come pleasantly to the surface. You are a gifted poet. I was left wanting more. I look forward to reading more of your writing.

Write on!
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#1300305 by Maryann

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Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Llothy54,

I saw your review request in Review Request. I read your poem As the wind blows through my garden and will share some thoughts.

The first thing that caught my eye was the cover art picture of a garden. It looks nice and lush preparing me for a poem about your garden. Using the name of the poem as the first line of each 3 line stanza gives it continuity. Wind is good for plants because it allows them to absorb more carbon dioxide. The pictures you drew of the waving, bending, and flying proved your conclusion. You left no doubt about the garden being alive.

One suggestion I would make is the line "I realize that" which I think would sound more poetic with something like "all the signs show" or "the movements confirm" ... "it is alive." Nothing is wrong with the words you used, I just think the garden should show you, something I think you already knew, that it is alive.

These are solely my opinions. I hope you find them useful. Thank you for writing.

Write on!
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Review of Crash  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Eight-7,

I was happy to receive your request to review your story “Crash.” I have read your story and have a few thoughts to share with you. These are solely my opinions which I hope will be useful to you.

Overall impression: Johnny coming awake “like a fisherman’s hook jerking a fish from water” is a strong hook. That image engaged me in the story immediately. Great job! The piece was solid and a satisfying read.

The story was told from Johnny’s point of view. His descriptions were expressed with original phrases like “tidy void of a neatly made bed,” “dull light seared his pupils,” and “noncompliant dry throat.” Those images touched my emotions as they moved the story forward. Wonderful for me, the reader, to be given that freedom to see and not be told.

An area I might want you to think about is the way the piece looks aesthetically. The opening couple of sentences look odd because of the way the the typing is disjointed. The larger font of her note looked out of place, incongruous to the main font. I would put the transcript of her note in italics.

I appreciate you sharing such a personal, sensitive time of your life. The moral of the story was expressed in the opening message: taking the first drink will naturally lead to another. Therefore, it is better never to take that first drink. Knowing you chose your son over the bottle had me wanting to shout, “Yes! Way to go!” I am now shouting "Yes! Way to go!" to commend your writing style, message, and selflessness in sharing this life lesson. Bravo!

Write on!

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#1300305 by Maryann


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Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sonali,
I don't think I have reviewed you since I looked at your autographs. I thought this would be a story. It is even better, a picture of you with your doll with the pin. I have a couple of physical pins too, which I pinned on my pin bear. They are nice reminders of good times here at WDC. I am so pleased to see your picture. Thanks for posting it.
Have a nice day and Write on!
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Review of Lascivious  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Words Whirling 'Round,

Your poem appeared in the Read & Review topic. The title "Lascivious" is engaging. Here are a few of my thoughts I hope will be useful to you.

Overall impression: Congratulations on telling a compelling story in twenty-eight lines. I admire that writer's skill. You selected descriptive words that made no mistake the subject, characters, and outcome.

It was only after reading that I noticed your poem won a contest, as it surely should. It was a great read I enjoyed very much. One thing that may just make it look more balanced or esthetic is to capitalize the first word consistently in the third line of every quatrain. Continued success to you in your writing retirement. The cats in the lap are one of the best benefits of this stage.

Write on!
tracker
{bitem:power}
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Review of Journeying Onward  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Hello Fyn-19 years a WDC,

Congratulations on your 19th anniversary. I picked a piece without a rating yet. I am reviewing Journeying Onward. The opinions expressed are mine alone which I hope will be useful.

Overall Impression: This is a big topic and what better way to tell it than using free verse? For me, it is a short story with an important message. Moving on is often interpreted as you are forgetting the departed. You expressed it fully, emphasizing that not only would that person want you to, but "those connections do not die."

I noticed one thing I would correct in this sentence. "Connections live on in memory and it things I've yet to do." I think "it" either be removed or corrected "it" to "it's."

There are multiple phrases I will take away from your excellent summary of living life after someone close to you passes away. I think the journeying onward refers to both the deceased as well as the living person.

Nineteen years and counting! How many words do you think you have written here in that time? I defer to your portfolio explanation: "I write to pull forth the words; grasp and yank them screaming or dancing, from deep within and set them free upon the page." Bravo for a job well done!

Write on!
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#1300305 by Maryann

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164
164
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Isedora,

Welcome again to WdC. I found your poem in the Read a Newbie area located on the right panel headed by Favorites. I read your poem and felt the intense emotional betrayal you experienced. It had to be the worst thing ever when the "Sparks flew into flames." It not only burned out but you were burned as well. I had the thought at the end that this helped you get it out by putting your feelings in a poem. At least I hope it did. The poem's structure, repeating quatrain, and message are all excellent. Keep on writing in the super way you are already doing.

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#1300305 by Maryann

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Review of You Choose!  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Eridanus,

Your piece showed up in the Review A Newbie section on the right panel of my portfolio view. I am pleased to answer your questions about this introduction.

I would title it Power Queries.

The opening sentence for me is too short. I would combine the first few sentences into one. Starting with "A face looked" and ending with "Parts of herself." I can see you may have seen the short sentences more dramatic, but when I read it they sound very choppy. I was so busy trying to figure out what was going on, I did not engage. I am sorry to say I would not continue to read it as it is written. A little more information about what is happening, to help the reader out, for me would be wonderful. It would flow better. It is true you want to show, not tell too much, but this one needs some comments during the dialogue. Nice use of some phrases you put together like "Their tongues bleed gold and silver" and "A twitch in a too-still finger."

In this sentence "I'll answer them--one on condition," I think you meant to say on one condition.

I have questions already like why is her skin gone? Why does she have no throat? How can she speak without one? If she knew the name how could she forget the Formidable One was disembodied? When does this take place? You have one genre of mythology. If a character is mythological, I would identify them that way. The style of using short sentences to describe the characters and what is happening was really hard for me to follow. Good luck with continuing the story. I am confident my questions would be answered if I kept reading. A little tweaking of the style and providing more information will fixe it right up. I did
appreciate setting it to a larger font size.
Write on!
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Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello sarcasmsweatpants,

Thank you for requesting a review of your story “One Last Cigarette.” I have thoughts and feedback for you which I hope you will find useful. These are solely the opinions of one person’s reflection of the story.

Overall Impression: I saw the opening sentence promise a walk that I anticipated would be an adventure provided by two likable characters, Rusty and Bruce. The words “a gleam of amusement” prepared me for an amusing walk to meet a friend. I was hooked.

What I liked: The ambling pace of the walk gave me time to imagine. You showed the story, not telling, so I was free to use my imagination which is a resounding positive. The sounds of music and the smell of roasting peanuts woke two of my happy things, music and food. The dialogue moved the story as quickly as you wanted to read on. "Takes time to find a good one” confirmed the story’s twist.

Areas for improvement: It would be easier to read with a larger font.

Congratulations on your unique story with a good hook, memorable characters, effective dialogue, and an unexpected twist at the end. You have the complete story package here. I appreciate your gifted writing, as I was left wanting more. Bravo!

Write on!
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#1300305 by Maryann

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for entry "Far Behind Candlebox" 
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi staiNED,

I visited your portfolio to read your blog, then noticed you did the February challenge with songs. I looked at the one today (now yesterday since I am on the left coast) and thought I would give you my views in this review of Far Behind by Candlebox.

I was attracted to the video because it started out like the videos of the time. Black and white showing the band itself actually playing. As it went a little dark, which you gave in your warning in your piece, I was not affected in any negative way. It is all a part of life. The lyrics are honest. Oddly, the thing I remember the most is the lead singing with a mike that has a cord! It is funny how the mind thinks.

I didn't have the time to read and listen to others. Congratulations for successfully meeting the challenge. It took a huge commitment of time and effort on your part. Great job!

Write on!
tracker
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for entry "Indecisive Blues" 
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Jake,

I came to read the linked story from the newsfeed. I liked this so well, I am reviewing it to provide you with my opinions which I hope are useful.

The fact that not making a decision is a decision was enlightening when I first learned of it. What a great way to remind yourself with none other than an eight line poem! I think intelligent people are prone to overthink things more than the average bear. Many without the intellect do the same. Intellectual people have a lot of balls to juggle in the air. Even with great knowledge, all of the trappings of living life barrage them. Often people are overly concerned about what other people think about them, their looks, their car, their house, and their family. Many in that category have told me one on one that it is a curse to be overly smart.

Thanks for expressing this widely held view. Your poem is flawless in mechanics. I enjoyed reading it. Obviously, it made an impression on me. You are a super writer. I have enjoyed reading your reviews as well as portfolio pieces. Have a good day.

Write on!
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Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Paul,

I read your email regarding our DWG group. I came over to stop in and say hi. I scrolled down your portfolio, as is my habit, and was drawn to the story "Some Times You Can't Save Them" which I am reviewing. I hope my opinions are helpful.

Overall impression: You have to know my eyes are glistening with tears. You expressed the mood with Robert's somber apology not saving Mrs. Taylor's son. The emotional part, for me, was when she kissed his hand. His trip to the restroom, and awful consequences, gave me pause to think that very same scenario goes on today, even as I type this.

You are a gifted writer, Paul. What I like best is your ability to get to the point quickly, yet not sacrifice character development. I could clearly picture each character with you showing me that they were black and white, for example. It was weaved into the story line effortlessly. There appears to be one typographical correction needed for the word grieve in the next to last sentence. I can still feel the emotion all these minutes after reading and preparing this review. Thank you for your story.

Write on!
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170
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Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello M Jones,

I saw your poem listed in READ A NEWBIE. It was listed on the right panel of your portfolio page. Welcome to WdC which is the way we abbreviate writing.com. I am giving you my thoughts which are solely my opinions which I hope are useful to you.

I was drawn immediately to the sharp picture that was taken my someone skilled in photography. The photo has terrific contrasts with the bright blue sky dotted with puffy clouds. Add in the mountain range then the depth seen from the road and position of the truck or jeep, not sure which.

Your rhyme and rhythm were pleasing when read out loud. The first line hooked me as I already had the photo to work on seeing where you would go with the poem. Very nice job! I did not notice any mechanical issues which is a pleasure. I also noted the genres you chose and each is perfect. Many members look for pieces to read by genre so having them match your piece is the best way to go. Congratulations! Thanks for showing me your writing talent.

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Review of To live in fear  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello jayesandz,

Welcome to WdC. Happy to so many pieces in your portfolio already. This poem "To Live In Fear" appeared on READ A NeWBIE. Here are some thoughts I had which are mine alone. I hope they will be helpful.

My overall impression is the story more than the poem's rhyme or structure. You don't hear as much about situations like your brother's. I am sorry for what he went through but more how you felt and feel now about playing toys while he was suffering.

Getting to the poetry now. The poetic narrative is pleasing when I read it silently. It is even better reading it out loud and giving the voice inflection saying words like "The ugliness was unkind." I put much emphasis on the 'UN" of Unkind!

Thank your for giving us a look at a sensitive life event. Two events, really. You did not rant and rave, or speak with disdain. Instead you chose what a more contemplative adult would say: "How could a father ever hurt his son?" You write extremely well. As time permits, I will read more. Keep on writing.

Write on!
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172
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Review of Oceans  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Roari,

I found your poem "Oceans" on Read & Review. I liked the measure presented with the way it ebbs and flows with the wise stars keeping watch. The poetic style was pleasing to the ear as I read it out loud. You showed the tale instead of telling it like so many poems do. It is a timeless poem that admonishes us to not lose sight of the critical importance the oceans play to our world. Thanks for sharing your vision of the oceans. I felt like I did when I was standing in water to my waist in the Pacific being rolled and tossed by the undertow, scraping my knees on the glass-like bottom. Great job.

Write on!
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Review of Dear Self 2024  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Khola Mousethyme,

I found your "Dear Me" entry on a list of other stories, so I stopped to read it. You have such a natural writing style. The things you want to do in 2024 all tie together.

Being in the town where you are most comfortable comes through with the peaceful and encouraging words you are telling yourself. I was nearby when the writing in November was difficult. It sounds like you are moving ahead despite any setbacks. I like the nice even paragraphs. Each expresses an area you will be working on. Your practices and habits with being a witch, a commitment to set a minimum amount daily to be sure there is no procrastinating. Blogging should keep you active in seeing your achievements. Next, you address your health concerns that directly affect having the energy to write your story or book when you don't feel physically well, or an ailment interrupts your sleep cycle. Sleep deprivation can be at the root of many problems.

You will be happy to know your spelling and grammar look flawless. The genre choices you selected fit precisely. Reviewing the nuts and bolts of genres, writing styles, and reading is a great plan to gain or refresh your knowledge which will bring you power and confidence.

I wonder if a mentor would help keep you on track? You may want to ask one of your most trusted friends here if they possibly could fill that role. The purpose is not to badger or harass, but to take a genuine interest in you and your success.

I can't close without commenting on the adorably sweet cover art. The image is so clear and sharp. It was easy to understand the message which is writing, the main focus on WdC. You will do a fine job, Kim, keeping up with those things you wrote to yourself. Keep up the great work!
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#1300305 by Maryann

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174
174
Review of In This Place  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello staiNED,

I was visiting the ports of my fellow new 2024 class of yellow cases. I picked "In this Place" at random to review. I was drawn to your poetry which you prefaced so many being dark. I did not hesitate. Your form of poetry is something I have not experienced. In addition, you have so many Awardicons on most of your work that I knew it would be a good read.

You did not disappoint. You opened with a line revealing up front what the poem was going to cover. It hooked me to read further. Phrases like "Anger is my friend" and "Crying in madness traveling to the painful places" brought my emotions to the surface.

One correction you can make is the word traveling is misspelled as it has one l not two. For a rating, I do not one minor thing like that bring down from the deserved five stars for your poem.

You have a lot of work here in your portfolio. As I mentioned, most have recognition which is telling about your expertise and great poetry writing skills. Thank you for sharing your raw feelings of the most horrible thing I could think of. "I am glad I read your Bio and see you are not a male Ned but a stained female. Keep up the wonderful work. It was a privilege to read.

Write on!
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WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
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#1300305 by Maryann

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175
175
Review of Out the Window  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Jacky,

Nice to meet you. Your flash fiction story "Out the Window" showed up in the Read & Review section. I will give you my thoughts after reading it. These are my personal opinions that I hope will be useful.

Overall impression: A story that has a cool twist at the end. Your build up to the twist was done very well. I was anxious to find out what was outside the window.

I liked your dialogue the best of all. It was just so realistic, like a couple would talk casually without all the big adjectives. It was so normal. I did not believe anything was sinister out there, that it could be some kind of bird or a harmless animal.

A couple of things to bring to your attention. There is one little correction I believe in the line: “Outside... right out window, maybe in the tree?” I think you meant to say right outside. Secondly, I wanted to suggest that the genres that you assigned "Fiction, Contest Entry, Other" Could be adjusted to have more readers. Once a contest is over, it is a good idea to come back and assign another genre. The genres could be science fiction, thriller/suspense, and mystery.

Great writing, Jacky. I was engaged in the story right away. It takes a special skill to successfully write a story in such a brief timeframe. I will get back this way to read another. You left me wanting more which is a major goal of an author.

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disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  (E)
Sharing, caring, helping each other to get through the days. Writing, delighting many ways
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