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1,210 Public Reviews Given
1,433 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Welcome Wagon  
Review by VerySara
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great idea!~
Thanks for the GP's.
Enjoy the holidays, all of you ~
VerySara
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Review of Best Friend  
Review by VerySara
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem is flawless! My father once told me that
if you have two or three real friends in your lifetime,
you are very lucky. They are precious, those friends,
and it takes time to build a close friendship, but
when you do, it is worth it. You express all that is
involved in this poem. Thank you for writing it.
Enjoy the holidays,
VerySara
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378
Review of Nick's Accident  
Review by VerySara
Rated: E | (1.0)
Oh, come on. You aren't serious about this being a
story, are you? I have been in classes where what
makes a story is discussed. One sentence? Two?
There is no strict answer, and I guess is you say it's
a story, then it is. But, I can't give credence to
this one. Sorry.
VerySara
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Review by VerySara
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
My initial reaction to this is that it is a very
good short story. The twist at
the end is going to be your trademark, I think, and
that's fine. At least I understand this one. Your
presentation is flawless (no typos, grammatical errors,
etc.). You have a good sense of the immediacy of
Walter's situation, and the stress that financial
trouble can cause. THe paragraph describing his drinking the liquid and counting his heartbeat is very
well written. I felt like I was right there counting
his heart beat with him. Then the "what have I done"
stage" which sometimes happens, sometimes not. But
this adds a touch of credibility to Walter's integrity. Then the call from his wife. It all works
very well. Ah, the great ironies of life. There are many of them, indeed. This is a good write, and fun to
read. It's sad too, of course, but I like it. A lot.
Thanks for posting it here on writing.com.
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Review of Threshold of Life  
Review by VerySara
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Don't change a word! My first husband was a physicist
and I sorta kinda know what you are talking about.
I got out of that marriage quick, but not as quickly as
I should have; I am, however, here to review your poem,
not to tell you my autobiography. I've only one
suggestion: second from last line:"My continual
intimidation/is only atoms of particles proceeding/..." I really like this poem, even with one
small grammatical flaw, and that may be arguable.
Thanks for writing this. It is, for me a pleasure
to read.
Enjoy the holidays,
VerySara
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Review of Haunted Echoes  
Review by VerySara
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This strikes me as a very good and very sad poem.
I can find no typos, no grammatical errors, etc., and
your presentation is therefore, flawless. Why you
made the stanzas of different lengths, I don't know,
but I do know that some poems almost write themselves,
and when you go back to polish them, it's difficult to
disturb the structure very much. I imagine that is
what happened here. I know this feeling, I remember
it well, and never want to go through it again. I see the post on this is about a month ago, and I hope that
you have healed since then, at least a little bit.
Poetry is a wonderful outlet for this sadness. Others
might say you are doing this to yourself, but I no
longer believe that. I believe the only way out is
through, and you have to bear the pain until it begins
to ebb, and then it will finally become a scar and that
will eventually heal. I wish you all the best.
Try to enjoy the season,
VerySara
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Review of Escape  
Review by VerySara
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good Poem! Believe me, I know these feelings well,
especially at 4:00 a.m. That is the time that Igmar
Bergman, the great filmmaker, called the Hour of the
Wolf. Somebody else probably did also, but I only
remember that he said it. You have put it all very
well, getting your thought together into one long
succinct stanza, and keeping an aa, bb, cc, etc.
rhyme scheme throughout-- This shows a lot of work on your
part, and a lot of perserverence. That's not easy to do. So, congratulations! You've written a good poem!
Enjoy the holidays,
VerySara
383
383
Review by VerySara
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Good read!! You have a very good sense of character
development, and the introduction and development
of Twin-T is done really well. I almost have to
suspend disbelief that anyone would go from person to
person just to hang out with someone. Then he's talking to a store clerk named Bill, which store by
hints dropped in the rest of the story, is in the
middle of the desert somewhere between Barstow and
Vegas (how Twin-T got there is not mentioned)* Then Jack enters the store, makes some small talk which
lets the reader know they are all close to Las Vegas,
and takes Twin-T hostage. Twin-T doesn't fight back
but goes to a motel with Jack. State troopers come in
at six in the morning, and Twin-T goes to the station.
We are told that they know he is innocent because he
is put in a separate room. I watch a lot of cop shows and they always separate the suspects. Maybe they do it differently in California or Nevada. Next thing the reader knows
Twin-T is on the road with the sheriff. How this
happened this reader cannot tell. Then Twin-T likes
the waitress, Alice, so he hangs with her until she
buys a toy for her son and it's clear to Twin-T that
the man selling the toy is more interesting than
Alice, so he decides to hang with him. His name is John and he is a gambler. So John and Twin-T go to the
casino, and apparently because John is losing, he shoves Twin-T into the "money slot", and the story ends
with out adventurous hero, Twin-T, sitting in jail
with a number of 10, 20, 50 and hundred dollar bills,
and his ID # is the same as John's last $20 bill.
Okay, Now I have recounted this story as best I can,
and there are even more questions than answers. I for one don't get it. I understand that this last guy
stabbed him in the back, apparently so to speak, and shoved him into the money machine. Do we go to the same Las Vegas? I don't recall seeing a money machine,
unless that is your term for slot machine. But how would he end up with so much money unless the slot
hit when John shoved him. Why arrest Twin-T and not
John? There is usually pretty tight security in the
casinos. I think you have a skeleton of a longer story here, for for this reader there are a lot of gaps, and I may be dense, but I just don't get it.
And yet I can see all these people although you do
not describe them except in dialogue. Good luck with
this one. The *is about where, on second thought, I
decided not to suspend disbelief. I wish you luck with
this. I'd love to see some of your other reviews and/or hear your comments in answer to mine.
All best,
VerySara
384
384
Review by VerySara
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a very good, educational (for me) article.
I see no typos, grammatical errors, etc., so your
presentation is, therefore, flawless. The phrase
"powers that be" can run, of course, from the local
mayor's office to the police, althought it is not so
much present in the classrooms anymore. But as Bush
received a second term, there are many who believe that
he and his cohorts are surely the "powers that be"
and woe to anyone who goes against the present President. Take a look at the Patriot Act for one,
and see if you see any similarities.
Your article is widely applicable, which is wonderful.
As Kurt Cobain said, "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out there."
Thanks for a good read!
VerySara
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Review of Clean Sheets  
Review by VerySara
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good poem! It reminds me of all the many times I
was able to hand laundry on the line. And then go
to bed and have the smell of the sun and the air.
Good write! No flaws, typos, grammatical errors.
You get 5 stars for this one!
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Review of Burned  
Review by VerySara
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a very interesting story. You have presented
it flawlessly, no punctuation or grammatical errors, no typos. It starts off with a carefully set scene,
and then moves methodically, as methodical as Margarets self-confidence and surety until we get the
two of them face to face. Then the suspense begins to
build, and I think you have done this very well. You
have a good gift for that kind of writing. The
dialogue, the danger, and then we are told she has a
gun. She shoots him, gets him to give up the name.
She's one heck of a reporter!!! And you are one good
writer. Thanks: this is a good read, and a good write.
Enjoy the holidays,
VerySaya
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Review by VerySara
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a beautiful poem. It reminds me of Yeats for
some reason. Probably because of the flawless
presentation, the perfect rhyme scheme, and the
sheer romantic beauty of the lyrics. Your may not
aspire to be a poet, but you are, my friend, like it or
now. This is breathtakingly beautiful I love it!!
Congratulations!!
VerySara
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Review of The Mountain  
Review by VerySara
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a lovely poem. It is flawlessly presented
(no typos, grammatical errors, etc.) and the feeling
expressed is bittersweet and beautiful at the same
time. The first three stanzas seem to me to be in
perfect meter and form, aabb, aabb, aabb. The fourth
stanza is quite different and I am wondering why you
did that? abcb. Odd. Unless you mean to mirror a
certain disillusionment in the realization that the
mountain will be there long after you are gone, which is most likely true, unless the earth big bangs out
all at once. I still like the poem a lot, the beautiful imagry, and the shall we say "temporary" freedom. I like it a lot! Thanks for writing it.
and posting it here on Writing.com.
Have a happy season,
VerySara
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Review of Coffee Stains  
Review by VerySara
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a good story. Here, I anyway, thought
he was having dispicable temper tantrums, but again,
some men do that and you either learn to put up with
it or you don't. Then when he kicks her and the reader realizes he has hit her before, all of our
sympathy goes to her. That the coffee on the wall is
in the image of a tombstone is a perfect touch.
Your presentation is flawless, there are no typos or
grammatical errors. I'd say this one is ready to go!
Any feminist leaning magazine should be glad to have
this one.
Good luck!
Warmest,
VerySara
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Review of Item Statistics  
Review by VerySara
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Great article! My goodness, is this ever helpful.
I have a high rating of viewers compared to the
number of reviewers and I have wondered what this is
all about. Now perhaps I can use the information you
have provided here to find out. I am also trying to
learn which promotions work better than others, so this
is helpful in that way too. I have the feeling that
younger members of our community do not care to review
my work, while older member and people who have been
writing for many years do, but I may be wrong. I have
nothing to add but praise and thank yous for this article. If I check out my stats, keep all this in mind and find there is something I still want to know
I shall write to you again.
I hope you had a wonderful birthday. You do so much
for us here on Writing.com that your one day of the
year should be very special.
Thanks again for everything,
VerySara
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Review of Adoring Eyes  
Review by VerySara
Rated: E | (4.5)
Lovely poem, beautiful cat! You say you;re not a poet,
but I can't be sure of that. I see awards you've
won, and things you've done, and I think that you will
be a wonderfull asset to our wonderful community!
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Review of John 8:7  
Review by VerySara
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Good poem! Still in the (to me) William Carlos
Williams vein. What you say here is so true, so true.
I find myself judging the judgers, complaining about
the complainers...I could go on and on. Of course I
looked up John 8:7 and I try to throw no stones,
to judge not lest I be not judged. It just doesn't
always work. Your poetry does though. Am I glad I
came into your portfolio tonight! Thanks for writing
this. I love it.
Best,
VerySara
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Review by VerySara
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an excellent poem, as you must know by now.
You say you are not a poet, but I find that very'
hard to believe. Congratulations! This is really a
beautiful piece!
Enjoy the season,
VerySara
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Review of The Perfect Poem  
Review by VerySara
Rated: E | (4.5)
You have lovely sentiments and you express them very
well. I, like you, do not know what makes a perfect
poem. I might be able to name one or two from Yeats
or Theodore Roethke, or Mark Strand, but I cannot put
it into words, and I surely cannot do it. I love the
way this poem looks on the page, and then your sig,
stairway to heaven, it's beautiful. I have such lovely
thought at times, I must admit, put I tend to write
out the dark side, and save the warmth and prayers for
public life. I really like your work! And I'm sending
you gift points, and ask that you please do not send
them back this time!
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Review of Baptism of Rain  
Review by VerySara
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is an excellent and very beautiful poem. I love
the two line refrain and you have made it work well.
I was, upon first reading, wondering where you were
going, but the last three 4-line stanzas are realy
good and it is only the first two stanzas that I must
say I find a little awkward in that I can't seem to
make them read smoothly. It's probably just me. And
it's late, and I'm getting tired, etc. The ninth line has many rhymes in a row, and I'm not sure that works,
but overall, it is a beautiful piece of work. Con-
gratulations!!! I look forward to getting to know you
through your work on Writing.com.
VerySara
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Review by VerySara
Rated: E | (4.5)
These are surely beautiful sentiments, and I am
pleased to see that someone at least has such
wonderful thoughts. Your sig is beautiful also, a
lovely dove indeed.
As for the poem itself, while the emotions expressed are, of
course, beautiful, and make the heart twinkle with joy,
the off rhyme, or I should say occasional rhyme, bothers me. Also "Spices of cinnamon and berries/apples and pears/and incense delight our nostrils." is to me awkward when read out loud. This
may be me, as each of us reads differently, and each
of us reads differently at different times. Did you mean this to be free verse?
It is beautifully presented and carefully crafted.
It is wonderful to have such thoughts. Congratulations! A pleasure to read.
VerySara
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Review by VerySara
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
You are really good at satire! You know just how far to go, and when to do it. It is a special art.
I looked at your portfolio and am not at all surprised to see that you have been publishes in quite a few places. I enjoyed reading this very much. I am quite familiar with the Bible and the various Christian stories, and so it meant even more. To couple it with contemporary corporate doings is just so perfect.
Congratulations, and Heppy Holidays.
Very Sara
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Review of The Nova  
Review by VerySara
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I really enjoyed reading this! And, more importantly,
it is very well-writen and makes a point. It is a wonderful satire. I hope you write more in this mode. I'd love to read it!
Thanks very much for writing this one and for posting it here on Writing.com.
Happy turkey,
VerySara
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Review of Illusions  
Review by VerySara
Rated: E | (4.0)
This strikes me as a very lovely painted picture of fields of flowers and one's running free through them,
and we do when we are young, and even though it is all a dream it seems so real. Then when you make the rather abrupt transition to ;aying in bed, and the transition works because of the beauty of your words
The journey of life is wondrous, no doubt about it, but beware: the going gets tough now and then. Congratulations! You have written a beautiful poem.
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Review by VerySara
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Good Poem!!! Sad, truthful, we all can identify, and I really like it. What's even more important, this is really very good writing. I salute you and send kudos and congratulations. I rarely give out 5.0's but this one deserves it.
Happy turkey!
VerySara
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