\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/verysara/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/16
Review Requests: OFF
1,210 Public Reviews Given
1,433 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 12 13 14 15 -16- 17 18 ... Next
376
376
Review of Shimmering Silver  Open in new Window.
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is one beautiful poem!
Don't change a word.
VerySara
377
377
Review of FEAST OF PAIN  Open in new Window.
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
This is a very nice poem, and does indeed show how
God can intervene in one's life at just the right
time. Your use of the very familiar phrase "my soul
to keep" is something I want to question. Did you
use this on purpose? It is such a well-known part of
the childhood prayer that I think you must have used
it on purpose, and yet I wonder why? And the poem, as you know, reeks of self-pity, but also depression.
Trust me, I know the feeling. I admire your honesty
in writing about it. You have a talent for poetry,
but I do think this one could be just a little bit
better, either more remorseful and painful, or less
filled with self-pity. And the use of "my soul to keep" really bothers me.
Your presentation is flawless, and that is surely a
plus. I will read some other things in your port.
Meanwhile, enjoy the season,
VerySara
378
378
Review of The Scar  Open in new Window.
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very nice!!! Tender and oh so true. I like the lack
of punctuation at the lines' ends; there is a different feel to this poem than many many others I
have read. I like it. Gives me a sense of
ongoingness, as well as as of eternity, and of
freedom. Yet the words produce such tender warning.
Good job! Good Write!
All best,
VerySara
379
379
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a beautiful poem. You maintain the rhyme schme
throughout as well as the rhythm. The images come
through perfectly, and it is written in what I
believe to be the true spirit of Christmas.
Unfortunately, I have no real criticism to offer,
since I believe the poem is really fine as it is now.
You are well on your way to being a very good poet!
Congratualtions. I hope you keep posting here at
Writing.com.
Enjoy the season,
VerySara
380
380
Review of Starting..  Open in new Window.
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice poem. Very nice. Short and to the point.
It's like coming out of a coma or something, waking
up and learning that things are always what they
seem, and that they will seem quite different at
different times (they are). That unveiling can be
tricky, trecherous, filled with joy and wonder.
I love these four lines. You know how to write
poetry!
Enjoy,
VerySara
381
381
Review of Terror  Open in new Window.
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good poem, short and to the point. When I first
began to read it, all I could think of was 9/11,
but there was no ice at that time, nor was there
night. It's true, too; different people react in
different ways. I'm afraid I have no comments that
would make this a better poem. It's just fine as
it is. Congratulations!
Enjoy the season,
VerySara
382
382
Review of The Welcome Wagon  Open in new Window.
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great idea!~
Thanks for the GP's.
Enjoy the holidays, all of you ~
VerySara
383
383
Review of Best Friend  Open in new Window.
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem is flawless! My father once told me that
if you have two or three real friends in your lifetime,
you are very lucky. They are precious, those friends,
and it takes time to build a close friendship, but
when you do, it is worth it. You express all that is
involved in this poem. Thank you for writing it.
Enjoy the holidays,
VerySara
384
384
Review of Nick's Accident  Open in new Window.
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (1.0)
Oh, come on. You aren't serious about this being a
story, are you? I have been in classes where what
makes a story is discussed. One sentence? Two?
There is no strict answer, and I guess is you say it's
a story, then it is. But, I can't give credence to
this one. Sorry.
VerySara
385
385
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
My initial reaction to this is that it is a very
good short story. The twist at
the end is going to be your trademark, I think, and
that's fine. At least I understand this one. Your
presentation is flawless (no typos, grammatical errors,
etc.). You have a good sense of the immediacy of
Walter's situation, and the stress that financial
trouble can cause. THe paragraph describing his drinking the liquid and counting his heartbeat is very
well written. I felt like I was right there counting
his heart beat with him. Then the "what have I done"
stage" which sometimes happens, sometimes not. But
this adds a touch of credibility to Walter's integrity. Then the call from his wife. It all works
very well. Ah, the great ironies of life. There are many of them, indeed. This is a good write, and fun to
read. It's sad too, of course, but I like it. A lot.
Thanks for posting it here on writing.com.
386
386
Review of Threshold of Life  Open in new Window.
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Don't change a word! My first husband was a physicist
and I sorta kinda know what you are talking about.
I got out of that marriage quick, but not as quickly as
I should have; I am, however, here to review your poem,
not to tell you my autobiography. I've only one
suggestion: second from last line:"My continual
intimidation/is only atoms of particles proceeding/..." I really like this poem, even with one
small grammatical flaw, and that may be arguable.
Thanks for writing this. It is, for me a pleasure
to read.
Enjoy the holidays,
VerySara
387
387
Review of Haunted Echoes  Open in new Window.
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This strikes me as a very good and very sad poem.
I can find no typos, no grammatical errors, etc., and
your presentation is therefore, flawless. Why you
made the stanzas of different lengths, I don't know,
but I do know that some poems almost write themselves,
and when you go back to polish them, it's difficult to
disturb the structure very much. I imagine that is
what happened here. I know this feeling, I remember
it well, and never want to go through it again. I see the post on this is about a month ago, and I hope that
you have healed since then, at least a little bit.
Poetry is a wonderful outlet for this sadness. Others
might say you are doing this to yourself, but I no
longer believe that. I believe the only way out is
through, and you have to bear the pain until it begins
to ebb, and then it will finally become a scar and that
will eventually heal. I wish you all the best.
Try to enjoy the season,
VerySara
388
388
Review of Escape  Open in new Window.
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good Poem! Believe me, I know these feelings well,
especially at 4:00 a.m. That is the time that Igmar
Bergman, the great filmmaker, called the Hour of the
Wolf. Somebody else probably did also, but I only
remember that he said it. You have put it all very
well, getting your thought together into one long
succinct stanza, and keeping an aa, bb, cc, etc.
rhyme scheme throughout-- This shows a lot of work on your
part, and a lot of perserverence. That's not easy to do. So, congratulations! You've written a good poem!
Enjoy the holidays,
VerySara
389
389
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Good read!! You have a very good sense of character
development, and the introduction and development
of Twin-T is done really well. I almost have to
suspend disbelief that anyone would go from person to
person just to hang out with someone. Then he's talking to a store clerk named Bill, which store by
hints dropped in the rest of the story, is in the
middle of the desert somewhere between Barstow and
Vegas (how Twin-T got there is not mentioned)* Then Jack enters the store, makes some small talk which
lets the reader know they are all close to Las Vegas,
and takes Twin-T hostage. Twin-T doesn't fight back
but goes to a motel with Jack. State troopers come in
at six in the morning, and Twin-T goes to the station.
We are told that they know he is innocent because he
is put in a separate room. I watch a lot of cop shows and they always separate the suspects. Maybe they do it differently in California or Nevada. Next thing the reader knows
Twin-T is on the road with the sheriff. How this
happened this reader cannot tell. Then Twin-T likes
the waitress, Alice, so he hangs with her until she
buys a toy for her son and it's clear to Twin-T that
the man selling the toy is more interesting than
Alice, so he decides to hang with him. His name is John and he is a gambler. So John and Twin-T go to the
casino, and apparently because John is losing, he shoves Twin-T into the "money slot", and the story ends
with out adventurous hero, Twin-T, sitting in jail
with a number of 10, 20, 50 and hundred dollar bills,
and his ID # is the same as John's last $20 bill.
Okay, Now I have recounted this story as best I can,
and there are even more questions than answers. I for one don't get it. I understand that this last guy
stabbed him in the back, apparently so to speak, and shoved him into the money machine. Do we go to the same Las Vegas? I don't recall seeing a money machine,
unless that is your term for slot machine. But how would he end up with so much money unless the slot
hit when John shoved him. Why arrest Twin-T and not
John? There is usually pretty tight security in the
casinos. I think you have a skeleton of a longer story here, for for this reader there are a lot of gaps, and I may be dense, but I just don't get it.
And yet I can see all these people although you do
not describe them except in dialogue. Good luck with
this one. The *is about where, on second thought, I
decided not to suspend disbelief. I wish you luck with
this. I'd love to see some of your other reviews and/or hear your comments in answer to mine.
All best,
VerySara
390
390
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a very good, educational (for me) article.
I see no typos, grammatical errors, etc., so your
presentation is, therefore, flawless. The phrase
"powers that be" can run, of course, from the local
mayor's office to the police, althought it is not so
much present in the classrooms anymore. But as Bush
received a second term, there are many who believe that
he and his cohorts are surely the "powers that be"
and woe to anyone who goes against the present President. Take a look at the Patriot Act for one,
and see if you see any similarities.
Your article is widely applicable, which is wonderful.
As Kurt Cobain said, "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out there."
Thanks for a good read!
VerySara
391
391
Review of Clean Sheets  Open in new Window.
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good poem! It reminds me of all the many times I
was able to hand laundry on the line. And then go
to bed and have the smell of the sun and the air.
Good write! No flaws, typos, grammatical errors.
You get 5 stars for this one!
392
392
Review of Burned  Open in new Window.
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a very interesting story. You have presented
it flawlessly, no punctuation or grammatical errors, no typos. It starts off with a carefully set scene,
and then moves methodically, as methodical as Margarets self-confidence and surety until we get the
two of them face to face. Then the suspense begins to
build, and I think you have done this very well. You
have a good gift for that kind of writing. The
dialogue, the danger, and then we are told she has a
gun. She shoots him, gets him to give up the name.
She's one heck of a reporter!!! And you are one good
writer. Thanks: this is a good read, and a good write.
Enjoy the holidays,
VerySaya
393
393
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a beautiful poem. It reminds me of Yeats for
some reason. Probably because of the flawless
presentation, the perfect rhyme scheme, and the
sheer romantic beauty of the lyrics. Your may not
aspire to be a poet, but you are, my friend, like it or
now. This is breathtakingly beautiful I love it!!
Congratulations!!
VerySara
394
394
Review of The Mountain  Open in new Window.
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a lovely poem. It is flawlessly presented
(no typos, grammatical errors, etc.) and the feeling
expressed is bittersweet and beautiful at the same
time. The first three stanzas seem to me to be in
perfect meter and form, aabb, aabb, aabb. The fourth
stanza is quite different and I am wondering why you
did that? abcb. Odd. Unless you mean to mirror a
certain disillusionment in the realization that the
mountain will be there long after you are gone, which is most likely true, unless the earth big bangs out
all at once. I still like the poem a lot, the beautiful imagry, and the shall we say "temporary" freedom. I like it a lot! Thanks for writing it.
and posting it here on Writing.com.
Have a happy season,
VerySara
395
395
Review of England  Open in new Window.
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall, I am very impressed with this poem. You
stay with the rhyme scheme throughout, and express
a beautifully painted picture of the countryside in
England. Your words flow throughout the land, and
in poetic language it is not that easy to do: to
create a beautiful landscape. I cannot find anything to object to here, except that perhaps the meter is
somewhat uneven. I think that has happened in order
for you to keep the aabababab rhyme scheme.The particular name of each flower, animal, or bird adds
a certain particularity to the images which only makes
them more vivid. This poem seems to me high polished,
as though you have worked on it a great deal.
the final ending stanza with the history of England
from myth to twentieth century wars,placed and written
as it is, builds up your pride in your country and
all that it stands for. This is a fine poem, and I
congratulate you! Very well done write!
All best,
VerySara
396
396
Review of Coffee Stains  Open in new Window.
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a good story. Here, I anyway, thought
he was having dispicable temper tantrums, but again,
some men do that and you either learn to put up with
it or you don't. Then when he kicks her and the reader realizes he has hit her before, all of our
sympathy goes to her. That the coffee on the wall is
in the image of a tombstone is a perfect touch.
Your presentation is flawless, there are no typos or
grammatical errors. I'd say this one is ready to go!
Any feminist leaning magazine should be glad to have
this one.
Good luck!
Warmest,
VerySara
397
397
Review of Item Statistics  Open in new Window.
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Great article! My goodness, is this ever helpful.
I have a high rating of viewers compared to the
number of reviewers and I have wondered what this is
all about. Now perhaps I can use the information you
have provided here to find out. I am also trying to
learn which promotions work better than others, so this
is helpful in that way too. I have the feeling that
younger members of our community do not care to review
my work, while older member and people who have been
writing for many years do, but I may be wrong. I have
nothing to add but praise and thank yous for this article. If I check out my stats, keep all this in mind and find there is something I still want to know
I shall write to you again.
I hope you had a wonderful birthday. You do so much
for us here on Writing.com that your one day of the
year should be very special.
Thanks again for everything,
VerySara
398
398
Review of Adoring Eyes  Open in new Window.
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Lovely poem, beautiful cat! You say you;re not a poet,
but I can't be sure of that. I see awards you've
won, and things you've done, and I think that you will
be a wonderfull asset to our wonderful community!
399
399
Review of John 8:7  Open in new Window.
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Good poem! Still in the (to me) William Carlos
Williams vein. What you say here is so true, so true.
I find myself judging the judgers, complaining about
the complainers...I could go on and on. Of course I
looked up John 8:7 and I try to throw no stones,
to judge not lest I be not judged. It just doesn't
always work. Your poetry does though. Am I glad I
came into your portfolio tonight! Thanks for writing
this. I love it.
Best,
VerySara
400
400
Review by VerySara Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an excellent poem, as you must know by now.
You say you are not a poet, but I find that very'
hard to believe. Congratulations! This is really a
beautiful piece!
Enjoy the season,
VerySara
450 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 18 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/verysara/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/16