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651
651
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
my review sig

"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Pimsley
This is a Simply Positive Review! *Cat*

*DragonflyV* I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the Random Review click.

*SeahorseY* I love how you give such sweet reverence to this person who has made quite an impression on you, so much so that you immortalize it here with your poem. The reader could feel the emotions woven within each line.


*Equalizer* The rhythm and rhyme were smooth and melodious. Also, the images were able to form in the reader's mind so that she could put a face to the angelic person. That adds to the reading pleasure.



Observations:

"my minds blurry, she's going too fast" [mind's]

"this memory, too much to bare" [bear] The other bare is nude/naked. *Blush*

Otherwise, very nicely penned! *StarfishP*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
652
652
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
my review sig

"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC. *Paw*
This is a Simply Positive Review.


*Tornado* I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the Random Review click.


*Vignette4* I love those mysterious dreams where there is someone you need to identify, but cannot seem to do that. It's always lost upon awakening from the dream. The missing piece to who the person is, is lost to you.


*Hotair2* Dreams such as these, make one wonder what the message is that is hidden within the sub-conscious, just screaming out for us to pick up on it. Dreams--the ultimate mysteries.


*DragonflyG* Your free verse poem flowed smoothly for the most part. If I would change anything, it would be a couple spots where words are repeated too close together, that could be replaced with a synonym. You will spot them upon another reading--perhaps out loud. I tend to do that in my poems, yet, always a fresh pair of eyes will spot what I've missed.


Well done and so true about dreams and mystery figures keeping themselves elusive! *Butterfly*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
653
653
Review of The Way Station  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, 🌕 HuntersMoon
This is a Simply Positive Review! *Wolf*


*StarfishY* I am also delivering this very "cool" review to you because this item popped-up on the Random Review click.


*Graph* Oh, lucky me that I pulled a a comedic tidbit of yours. This day has been much too serious so far.
*Smirk*

*StarB* I loved it! I love the whole cryogenic hell that one is held in when one goes the frozen head root. I enjoyed the dialogue and the surprises that await the inquisitive reader.*Laugh*


The story was short but it didn't need length to make it count in imagery, savagery that goes on, and the oh, so heck-ness!
*Pthb*

*Candy5* Loved the surprise ending. Quite the bit of realism added to the sci-fi and the hereafter. Yes, many relationships battle the night away with the blanket thievery that leaves one partner chilled to the bones. So, it was indeed a "chilling" ending. *Wink*


Good for a chuckle, HM -- I like that! *Monkey*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
654
654
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
my review sig

"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC. *Anchor*
This is a Simply Positive Review!


*Rabbit2* I also am reviewing this item because it popped-up on the Random Review click.


*Tornado* Ahh, yes, I remember when his name was Cassius Clay, however that knowledge does place a date on me, age-wise. *Laugh* So let's just say that it was many years ago. But he left a huge impression upon me and my friends in those days of my youth. Yes, he was the "greatest."


*MustacheL* Your poem tells the story quite handily and the reader understands there is only one fighter you are talking about, long before reaching the end of the poem -- Muhammed Ali.


Observations:

*Butterfly* Good poem, but could be brilliant if the rhythm got more in shape. Sometimes we writers depend so much on the rhyme, we let the rhythm fall along the side. I think, especially since this is about such a formidable famous person, the poetic flow would match his own "floats like a butterfly," thus would shine through in the lines.

"Foreman waitsing to hear the bones crunch.
"As the fight goes on the big man grows tired,"
TRY: As the fight progresses, he grows tired.
"then you unleash, the big man's retired."
TRY:But your fierce unleashing, removed his fire

*SuitClub* This is just a quick rework as an example of giving it a little more impact on the reader.


Otherwise, well done! *Wave1*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
655
655
Review of sobriety  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
my review sig

"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC. *Anchor*
This is a Simply Positive Review.


*TagV* I am also reviewing this item because it popped-up on the Random Review click.


*ConfettiB* Congratulations on fighting this good fight back to sobriety. I have such admiration for your strength and willingness to change that which had haunted your past. I wish you all the best as you keep moving forward.


*BalloonY* *BalloonY* Two years is a good deal of time. You have made it this far, and deserve recognition, which you get whenever somebody reads and reviews your story.


Observations:

*AsteriskB* This is quite a short piece, thus grammar errors pop-out easier at the reader.
*Magnify*

*NoteV* You have several spots that could use a comma to break up the line.

*NoteGr* You want to avoid using slang-abbreviations, especially in a piece that hits upon some serious subject matter.

"but not anymore cos 'cause/because two years have past" [passed]

I think there is more room to elaborate on your accomplishment. Perhaps touch upon some of the negatives before and then the positives of life, now.


This is a wonderful achievement, Kudos! *RainbowR*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
656
656
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
my review sig

"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC. *Lightning2*
This is a Simply Positive Review!


*BlowFish* I am also reviewing this item because the title jumped right out at me while I was perusing the Read a Newbie page.

*Vine2* What a beautiful picture you paint for the reader, about a father and daughter. You have such precious memories of the love shared with your dad. Little girls love to dance with their fathers -- especially when they could climb up on dad's feet and let him swirl us around the room. You took me back so many years!



Observation:

"He'd spin me dizzy, then catch me before I'd fall"

*AsteriskO* The word "then" is unnecessary and throws off the rhythm of the line.

*SuitHeart* Loved this ending:


"I'd play a song that would never end
So forever in that moment, we could be
So he'd never have the chance to let go of me"


Brings tears to my eyes.
*Cry*

*Rainbowl**Rainbowr* Thank you for taking me back to my childhood and dancing with my dad. He has been gone for more than twice the amount of years I've had with him. I was a very young woman when he passed away.


Well done! *Turtle1*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
657
657
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
my review sig

"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC. *Frog*
This is a Simply positive Review!


*Tornado* I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the Random Review click.


*Medical* Let me start by saying this is a tough subject matter to have to place into words in the form of poetry.Breast cancer is something, I imagine, we can say we all have come in contact with, either personally or someone close to us. Thus, one does not have to have breast cancer to understand that it is heartbreaking as well as frightening, to watch a loved one go through the fight, let alone be the one facing this terrible disease.

*ScallopV* Your poetry pulls together the deep emotions without having to explain or describe in depth what the feelings/sensations were revolving around this fight. It is not necessary. There is something so dreadful about just seeing the words or hearing them that hits the core of a woman, deeply.

*Angel* It is a story of loss, but it is also a story of deep faith. That is the common thread woven throughout the poem -- God is answer, He can heal, He has chosen someone to spread the message. One voice told to another multiplies exponentially and can find its way around the globe. It matters.


*RibbonW* The poem was brief, but there's a part that says that you will be encouraged to tell your story. I believe a story can be told and one that will make people read it and feel awestruck by it. You have so much more to say if this is your story. I hope it was a successful fight, for I see the date of this was originally in 2011. I pray you have been victorious in knocking this disease down.



Nicely done and very inspirational. May your healing be blessed. *StarB*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
658
658
Review of Sunny Days  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC. *Jamming*
This is a Simply Positive Review!


*MushroomV* I am also reviewing this item because it popped-up on the Random Review click.


*BoothB* I like the bright and positive vibes this poem brings to the reader. It declares a love for life, a striving for the best you can be and that there is always an honest as well as more pleasant way to deal with the everyday tasks and obstacles.


I find this quite philosophical. *Bigsmile*


Observations

*Teddy* Now, for the parts of the poem that distracted my enjoyment:


its not a race. it's/it is
Im moving slow. I'm/I am
its what I learn, it's
Ill live until the end. I'll
Il become more authentic, I'll
Ill say whats on my mind, I'll - what's/what is

*Pot* Contractions of words need the apostrophe so it doesn't distract the readers from your poem by making them pause whenever one of these words shows up. It may even make readers leave the page without reviewing, and that's not such a good thing.
*Frown*

*GoLucky* Luckily, these are easy fixes, and the whole poem will read smoother and look more professional.


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
659
659
Review of Society's Blight  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Rhoswen - Relentless Victory
This is a Simply Positive Review! *MushroomG*


I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the Random Review, click.


*Video* Your poem pulls the reader into a dispirited soul, somewhere in the darkness where hope is diminished. It is dark poetry, of course, and made real because it is done in first person and described in the brief intro that it is how the writer feels about herself.

I think we've all questioned our worth during one part of life or another. And yes, sometimes the future looks bleak because the present is treating one unkindly. But I firmly believe that one should never give up hope.

*TeaR* The couplets worked smoothly all the way through, except for this one particular place where the repeating of the word "way, away, anyway" made this reader pause.



Observation:

"There is no saving grace, not for me anyway,
too much taken away already, no way to get it back."


*Idea* You could try,
not for me, "ever/anyhow",
too much "discarded," already, "never to return"


This is just a quick switch-up of words to eliminate the repeats. You could come up with something much better, I'm sure. *Smile*


Otherwise, well done! *CoffeeT*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
660
660
Review of Like Sedation..  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC. *SuitDiamond*
This is a Simply Positive Review!


*Leaf2G* I found your item on the Read a Newbie, Page.


*Thought* I think this was a very spiritual and inspirational poem. You take sleeplessness and turn it into a kaleidoscope of night imagery. The surroundings all come alive in the reader's mind.


*Shield3* There is some wonderfully serene moments that can be spent traveling or merely gazing into the night. I am a nighthawk, myself and love the shadows cast under the moon, and off the lake at nighttime.


Lovely!


Observations:

This particular part stood out to me, especially since it is near the opening of the poem.


Standing out in the night.
Quieter than inside.
Cold crisp air.

Invites a night time drive. The word night is repeated within the same verse. Perhaps changing one of them to "evening, would help alleviate the repeat.

White, red & violet. It would be better to write out the word "and" rather than using the ampersand. It distracts from the line.

Nicely penned! *ButterflyR*

Until next time -- write on!

Regards,
Webwitch *Witch*





661
661
Review of Moonlight  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, T.L.Finch
This is a Simply Positive Review! *Snow5*


*TeapotB* I was perusing the Poetry Genre page, and found this little gem.


*Ring1* I say gem because the gorgeous description of reflected snow, do appear to be diamonds sparkling within the moonlight. I always loved the effects of light, sun or full moon upon the glazed white cover of snow. I also, sometimes miss being up North during a snowfall -- well, not exactly since New England got pummeled recently with a blizzard. *Laugh*

*Snow4* The beauty, however, is indescribable at moments. One cannot help but be mesmerized by such natural beauty.


Observation:


"winters [winter's]show in soft moonlight." I believe you meant to use the possessive form and not the plural of winter, here.


*Moon* Your poem came to life under the "Moonlight" with the bejeweled brilliance of stars above and sparkles of snow below. You painted a brilliant picture, in a mere, four lines, that lasts in the mind's eye, long after I've left the page.


*RainbowL* Gorgeous! *RainbowR*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*
662
662
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there EyeSingOnTheCake
This is a Simply Positive Review! *Yinyang*


*Tornado* I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the Random Review click.


Lyrics - yes! I could catch the flow of this, the rhythm and melody and feel the action described within. It takes a video game, new and never traveled paths and persons or things, and puts gamer against the obstacles. Quite fun to read and then go back and apply a beat to it.


*FlagSt* Loved the many layers of persons, places and things to be seen and conquered. You paint vivid pictures in my mind of being in that virtual world.


"I've run away from things unseen
and not
I've been a man and a woman
both
without going under the knife"


*PointRight* Indeed, all that is possible within this virtual realm.


*Palette* I found this to be cleverly written with a spark of humor to go along.


*Thought* The rhythm was good, the rhyme was not an important issue of the free verse and the flow of this, yet it still entertained in a smooth way.


*Silent* I'm not saying it's perfectly penned, but I believe it is worth a higher rating than currently sits upon it. So, I'm boosting it a bit.


Well done! *Witchlegs1*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
663
663
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
my review sig

"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Have a sunshiny day!
This is a Simply Positive Review! *TieDye2*


*Tackg* I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the Random Review click.


*BeakerB* It is a tough scenario to digest, because violent behavior is a nightmare upon the family. I realize through some back story that Betty grew up getting little or no attention from her jealous father, and limited attention from her mother. I also learned that she was exposed to spankings as discipline. You live what you learn, thus she disciplined her daughter in the same way.


*DropB* The flip-side of the story is the husband walking in right at the discipline part and taking an angry interpretation of the scene, which also heightened the physical hurt within that home. The child of course, is a witness to his physical anger upon her mother -- thus the cycle continues.



*AsteriskP* I don't know if this story is to be continued, but as it ended here, the reader is left with questions.

*BulletGr* What happened to Betty?

*BulletB* Did she sneak out the bathroom window, since it was too late for the husband to reach her for an apology?

*BulletP* What will happen to the daughter if Betty leaves the home?


*Turtle2* There are more questions, however, I can only review this item on the story before me. It left me with questions that will or are answered in another continued story about Betty. If not, then the ending would leave the reader a little unsatisfied. I prefer to think the review generator threw me into an ongoing story -- and a good one about how abuse can be passed on from one generation to the next.

Well done! *Wolf*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
664
664
Review of Come Back Mommy  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC. *Cat2*
This is a Simply Positive Review!


*Grasshopper* I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the Random Review click.


*Shock2* Wow, this poor child went through a terrifying experience. She is a likeable six-year-old, and her character and intelligence came through in the reading of the story. My heart pounded for the little thing -- all alone in the house, loud jack-hammering going on very close by. Quite a disturbing image.


Observations:

*Thinker* I just cannot wrap my mind around the parents allowing her to become separated from them. I could picture her father holding her in his arms as they ran from the house. A mudslide can not only cover a house with mud, but as has happened in California many times, can actually drop a house down the mud-sliding, eroding hill. Serious stuff! I think that part made the story a little less believable.

*NoteP* Also, I had to change the content rating for this story because there is a bit of terror/horror, surrounding this child while she worried and cried, and was in fear for her life, all alone, without her parents there. Thus this story is better suited in ASR rating.

*Sheriff* Other than the part about the parents escaping and the child ending up back in the house alone, it was quite a scary tale.


Well done! *Horseshoe*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
665
665
Review of With You  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Purple Princess
This is a Simply Positive Review! *TeapotV*


*PenG* I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest. Thank you for entering!


*Rr* Ahh, how telling is that brief description -- "The potential of being with the one you love." That made me pause, because I was thinking I'd be reading about a "what if" relationship and its fabulous potential to make romance blaze like a furnace.


*Wand* Yet, there is a connection -- a love connection, here. She describes her loneliness without him, and then builds up to the rapture and desire of time with him. Yup, that is so much better than the longing part, we can all agree on that.


*Key2* Romance is the key, and you use this key wisely.


*AsteriskY* I loved the one-verse-string, containing short lines with well-chosen words, that painted vivid pictures for the readers to view -- a sort of voyeurism, for we peek into the cocoon of these two lovers through our minds' eye and color-in the picture.


*Police* You cleverly bold-printed certain words that are used to introduce the part to follow -- the certain time in that relationship whether together or apart.


"Impassioned kisses
For in those moments
I’m home
Mesmerized"


*Vine2* Delightful lines with rhythm like a melody!



Good job! *Heel*

Until next time--write on!

Regards, WebWitch *Witch*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
666
666
Review of The Hidden Heart  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, 🌕 HuntersMoon
This is a Simply Positive Review! *Boat*


*Saturn* I am also reviewing this item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest. Thank you for entering!


*Faucet* I love the sounds I hear when I whisper this poem to myself--which I have done several times. There is a special feel to it that heightens the senses. How romantic is that?!!

*SuitClub* I believe that is the beauty of a Shakespearean Sonnet. It pulls the reader or listener into the scene as if the one being spoken to. Lovers play their games, tease and bring pain to the heart as well as joy.


Observations:

"inscriptions of the promises we made
now only empty words upon a page." I think replacing the common word "only" with the word merely, would add a little pizazz to the line. IMHO, though. *Wink*

"my broken heart amidst the memories."

*Thought* Amid would be a better choice of word over "amidst." It flows off the tongue easier when ready out loud, is a softer sound and fits perfectly in the line -- besides, it means the same thing. *Ha*

*Vine1* I loved this verse:

"I sift through ashen thoughts within my mind;
remembrances of what once used to be.
I wander through deserted rooms and find
the remnants of our love in the debris."


*BowR* Sift, ashen, remnants, debris -- these well chosen words emphasized the condition of the heart, the loved and loss part, and the destruction left behind.


Nicely done! *Lightning2*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
667
667
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Dave
This is a Simply Positive Review! *Palette*


*Plane* I am also reviewing your entry as a judge at the "The Bard's Hall Contest Thank you for entering.

*StarfishV* Sometimes the succinct package translates into a huge container of love.


*SeahorseO* I really did enjoy the simplicity of your poem. However, simplicity doesn't mean it's easy to do. It requires much thought to paint a big picture in so few words. The understanding about love and romance is evident. I am so loving how the breath of love is tattooed across the heart -- it's a place where the eternal altar of love remains safe within.


*Vignette5* Beautiful imagery can be taken away from a mere three lines that tell the reader the rest of the story.

*RingsSilver* Here, romance is paramount in the word weaving. Words are not wasted nor are any abundant adverbs required to make the reader feel the romance.


*SuitHeart* You followed the prompt -- romantic poetry, and did so within three lines and ten words.

Cleverly done! *PaintBrush*

Until Next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
668
668
Review of Poetry Man  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, ♥Hooves♥
This is a Simply Positive Review! *Vine1*


*Candy5* I am also reviewing your poem as a judge for "The Bard's Hall Contest. Thank you for entering!

Awww! This made the heart all warm and fuzzy, absolutely lovely! *InLove*


Your poem is a beautiful tribute to soul mates who have kept the fire of love burning for 33 years. You penned a wonderful celebration of love. Tommy sounds like such a loving, dedicated and very romantic mate.
*Inlove2*

*BeakerY* I saw no place that tripped me up while reading through. Of course, I may have been so caught up in the beautiful destinations traveled through the years of your life and love together. I am filled with joy and perhaps feeling a little *Envy* over the fabulous travels with the one you love. It makes all the difference when those trips are shared with that one special person you hold dear in your heart.

Beautiful! *Shamrock*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
669
669
Review of Reflections on ME  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
my review sig

"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP
Hello there, G. B. Williams
This is a Simply Positive Review! *Candy3*


*BulletV* I am also reviewing this item because it popped-up on the Random Review click.

*Egg1* You pay respect to God in your short, yet philosophical piece. You are right about that -- we do serve a purpose in life and we need only realize that, and accept who we are and give our love and share the love of God.

Observations:

"serve God, serve others, serve, serve, serve." This paragraph has many repeats with serving and serve. I know you are trying to emphasize this, however, it can be written a little tighter.

Yesterday, when one of the mayors in Maryland died, my phone just started blowing up! No need to use the old crutch-word, "just." It's another way to keep the writing tight.

"I am just recovering from influenza( A or B)." No need to describe the influenza "A or B." Just the fact that it's the influenza is sufficient for the reader to understand -- it's a horrible sickness.

*Wave3* Nevertheless, this was a lovely, spiritual piece.


Thank you for sharing it. *StarfishB*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
670
670
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
my review sig

"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC. *Wave1*
This is a Simply Positive review!


*SeahorseR* I am also reviewing this item because it popped up on the Random Review click.

*PaintBrush* You paint a vivid picture of color and the beauty it casts upon not just nature, but ourselves. Colors are a great way to interpret moods and thus portrays a specific person's aura.


The rhythm moved along well for the most part. I did find a little hitch that made me pause. It was the second stanza:


"Color me beautiful
In calming blues that wave
Lapping against the shoreline
Singing a rhythmic lullaby"


I love the first three lines! They have a melodious flow. I know this is more of a free verse type of poetry, but if you could make the first three lines weave a perfect tapestry in the reader's mind, then why not the last line? It is a bit chunky and breaks up the flow of the read.


*Idea* TRY:
Crescendo's lullaby in the surf.


*Thought* A little more visual and audio impact in the mind's eye. *Wink*


I love the spirituality woven through it. *Sun*

Well done and lovely to imagine! *Anchor*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
671
671
Review of birthday cake  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Rhyssa
This is a Simply Positive Review! *TrainW*


I came across this item on the Poetry Genre page.

*GiftB* Let me tell you, this was just too "sweet" for words! *Laugh* You did a fine job painting a picture of a six-year-old's birthday party. I loved the descriptions of the cake, the death by sugar vivid imagery that even made my taste buds cringe at the thought.

*CakeP* Making it ever so difficult to be around this event, the poor diabetic aunt had to boost her insulin in anticipation of the confetti covered frosting covering the cake.


Loved this:

"intermingled with funfetti
because six years old is all about ponies
and rainbows of confetti bursting from the cake"


*StarP* Clever choice of word, "funfetti." I totally pictured that covering the chocolate buttercream frosting.


*ButterflyB* I take it from the bold word, "confetti," that this was written for a contest with a word prompt. Good way to weave it into the poem so that it was a natural fit.


Well done! *PartyHatB*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
my review sig

"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, BScholl
This is a Simply Positive Review! *FishG*


*Dolphin* I am reviewing your item because it popped-up on the Random Review click.


*Palette* Sounds like a colorful family get together. *Laugh*


*Utensils* I remember when my siblings and I were little kids, my mother always said, never discuss politics or religion at a holiday table. It will always lead to heated debates -- and ruin the meal, after I worked so hard, all day to prepare it.

*Gear* I do not know what causes these particular parents to argue on all holidays, thus leading to the dreaded "Steele family, tradition", but I suppose insulting an in-law is always a good start to a rough ending of the holiday at hand. *Shovel*


Observations:

"It’s like we’re trying to go out of our way [to] get angry at each other, then they look at me to smooth everything over"

Then maybe you should explain to Dad that Bill wasn’t insulted,” Sam stated."

*Idea* You could eliminate the repeat of "then" in the two consecutive sentences, here. Just starting with "Maybe" would work.

*People* Spunky family, I could picture them in my mind.


Well done! *Owl1*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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673
Review of F-A-I-L-U-R-E  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
my review sig

"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Professor Q
This is a Simply Positive Review! *RainbowL*


*Bird* I am also reviewing this item because it popped-up on the Random Review click.


*FlipFlops3* You've captured the anticipation and nervousness of a spelling competition. The young girl, could be pictured in the reader's mind, as via the description of her appearance. Do I remember patent leather shoes, and the cool click of them on wooden surfaces! Very cute.


*Faucet* I felt for her as she had spelled a tough word, and stood on stage with two more contestants left in their seats.

*Watch* This time, however, she failed to spell the word. Her emotions dropped to a lower level as she could feel "failure" nagging at the pit of her stomach.


*CheckP* Loved the ending, as it added surprise -- a little twist, if you will, because third place still gets you to the National Spellings Bees to compete.


Nice! *BoxCheckB*

*Stop* I had to change the rating on this item due to the word codeine. Since it is a narcotic, it needs to be placed in at least a 13+ content rating.

Otherwise, well done and reminiscent of school days, way back when. *TeaV*


Until next time--write on!
Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
674
674
Review of The Light  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, super sleuth
This is a Simply Positive Review. *PoseyV*


*Traincar1W* I am reviewing your item because it popped-up on the Random Review, click. My heart sunk the moment I read your brief description.


*Snow1* It is difficult to review an item, let alone read it, when it involves the death of a child. A mother's heart breaks at the thought of the pain another mother suffers from such tragic loss. It just isn't the way things are supposed to go, in life. We are never believe we will outlive our children. It is too much to bear to think about. However, as difficult as it is to read this poem, it is also a reminder that nobody, no matter what age, knows when he will be called to heaven.

*BlockW* Your heart was laid open, exposed for the reader to feel the emotional pain. Yes, a mother being asked to pull the plug on her child is beyond horrible to imagine. She knows she will never have her little boy, back, yet she does not want to suffer the task of being the one to choose the time of his death.


*DropB* It was so sweet, yet heartbreaking, the way you described that he must have sensed your anguish over the decision, and that he peacefully left in the night to be with God. Thus, taking your hand out of allowing the removal of the life support.


*Angel* And yes, I am so sure the angels held his hand and took him to a beautiful place of joy unspeakable.


You have your own angel watching over you -- always. He will be there to greet you with a hug when you are called to join him, because one who has faith, knows there is something beyond this life, where suffering does not exist, and love and happiness are forever.


*AwarenessT* Thank you for sharing this perfectly scribed poem. It could not have been easy putting such pain into words, showing so much love and devotion.


God Bless!*Cross2*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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675
Review of Slipstreams  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
my review sig

"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, T.L.Finch
This is a Simply Positive review! *MedalGold*


*FishP* I am reviewing this item because it popped-up on the random review click.

*MushroomG* Your poem is crafted beautifully, yet within such beauty of words, lays the bleakness of homelessness.

*BareTree2* Such a harsh life to live, as weather, and sanitary conditions can run amok for the homeless person. Food, clothing, reasonable shelter a few far between. One must live of his own wits and street-wise training in order to escape unscathed. It is a dangerous way to live, indeed.



Observation:

"Dark Knights and street fights, wish you're never born."
[You're = you are.(present tense] To be grammatically correct, it should be "wishing you were never born."

*BareTree* You take this serious subject matter and put a face on it. We see the world through the eyes of this homeless person, who is losing strength and faith that his life would ever turn around for the better. He is tired and feels he has reached the end of his road.

*Hourglass* It is sad, yet it is true for some people, just trying to survive life, day to day on the streets.


Well done! *AwarenessW*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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