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76
76
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, and good morning to you!

I read your piece "Speculate > Frustrate", and I will give you a review. I am not a review professional, however, I can provide you with feedback on how your piece has impacted me.

I can relate to your frustration of waiting in a car with nothing to do but sit there. Sometimes, on impulse, we will go somewhere we don't want to go but end up going there anyway. Having been homeless and being in a vehicle gets frustrating, especially in the evening when all the restrooms are closed. Yes, I get it. And, when you have an addiction, like in your case, Cannabis, and you go to get another supply can be frustrating. I am one of the few who didn't take drugs. I saw a movie in sixth grade about LSD and the effects it had on the brain. I knew for a fact I didn't want my brain to end up that way. It was a good decision on my part.

When I had a breakdown in 1974, I was put on medication that I had to take for the rest of my life. The effects it had on me were horrible. The creative side of my brain didn't allow me to create anymore. It seemed like my life was lost at that point. I did as the doctors said, and didn't question why I had to do that. When I was fifty years old, a friend mentioned to me about Abilify, a new drug that came out at that time. I gave it a try and found it to be a miracle drug for me. My brain could think once again. I take the generic version "Aririprazole" now, along with an anti-depressant called "Bupropion" the generic version of Wellbutron. I feel better than I did from the age of 17 until the age of 50. All that time I felt like I was 100 years old.

I encourage you to keep up with your writing. I am glad you shared your experience so other people can relate to where you've been in life.

I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last throughout your lifetime.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
77
77
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, and good evening to you!

I have read your music "Day 10 The Dubliners Sick Note", and I will give you a review. Even though I am not a review professional, I can provide feedback on how the song impacted me.

I played the video of the song "PADDYS SICK NOTE". It sounds like the singer was Irish. I like the voices of the Irishment as they sing their ballads. It was sad that a note like this was sent; he must have been dealing with so many things at the time that he didn't want to do. It must have been during wartime when he wrote or sang this song. Perhaps he didn't want to write a bloody note.

His sense of humor was a bit drab when it came to writing a note, but I liked the accent of the voice in the song.

Thank You for sharing this song with me; it almost made me want to dance the Irish Jig. I encourage you to write. It's important to get things out in the open. I didn't get the humorous side of the song much, but it had a nice little jingle to it.

I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
78
78
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, and good morning to you!

After reading your poem "229 Minutes, 44 Seconds", I want to give you a review. Although I am not a review professional, I can provide you with feedback on how your poem impacted me.

Your poem reads as follows:

229 minutes, 44 seconds-
length of a phone call,
or the number of smiles
reaching beyond a distance
of that many miles.

Within the hallowed courses
of phone wires strung out,
emotions play at will.
Sheer distance holding
love at bay, even still.

As two souls share thoughts
no lulls impede life or laughter.
Farflung future beacons
down the road, across the country-
beyond 229 minutes. 44 seconds.

I love your poem. It talks about holding love at first bay, no lulls impending life or laughter, and smiles reaching beyond the distance of that many miles. I love smiles. Your writing is lovely.

I encourage you to keep up with your writing. I made some corrections to your poem. Look it over and see what you think.

I hope you have blessings of good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness throughout your lifetime. Everyone deserves to have this.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
79
79
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, and good morning to you!

I read your story "Forever and Always" and I am giving you a review. Although I am not a review professional, I can provide feedback on how your story impacted me.

Your story was beautifully written. I enjoyed reading it. Your love for Alice was genuine. When you drew a butterfly on her wrist, it showed your love was genuine. Rachel wasn't nice to Alice. When she didn't stick up for Alice, I knew how much that would hurt. I can feel the emotion. If someone was giving me a hard time, and my friend didn't stick up for me, it would have left a devastating mark on me. I would think my friend would stick up for me. I would've stuffed my feelings inside and anger would eventually build up. It left me feeling miserable.

I want to encourage you to keep up with your writing. You have a good way of expressing yourself. At the end of your story, you mentioned that Alice killed the butterfly. Even when she did that, your love for her still stood strong.

I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime. Everyone deserves to have this.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
80
80
Review of The Mystic Woods  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, and good afternoon to you!

I am reviewing "The Mystic Woods". Even though I am not a review professional, I can provide feedback on how your story has impacted me.

Your story sounds like a mysterious fantasy. Eldoria must be a place that holds some powerful magic. At this place, Nikki wants to know how she got to this place. It's a place of wonder and mystery.

Nikki could be in a position where she will have a reign of power. Her influence could open up a new world for her. Will she be a nice person or an evil one? Since she would like to be in a place where dragons, magical creatures, and brave heroes are, who would this hero be? Would this person have the head of a dragon and a body like Hercules? Will she be riding a big white horse with special powers, and having Shazam as another hero? Would one of these heroes betray her?

I think your story has interesting possibilities to make a good mysterious fantasy. I encourage you to keep writing. I am looking forward to how your mystery fantasy develops.

I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime. Everyone deserves to have this.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
81
81
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, and good morning to you!

I read your short story "World Builders, LLC". I will give you a review. Even though I am not a review professional, I can provide you feedback on how your short story has impacted me.

Your story made me laugh. It did make some sense though. God should be pleased with your way of thinking. The part where you said that rather than the seventh day being a day of rest, it was to be the day the papers were signed. This is an interesting twist to the story.

I want to encourage you to keep up with your writing. I am looking forward to reading more short stories, etc., from you in the future.

I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
82
82
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, and good evening to you!

I read your story "Doorway to the Place of Mystery", and I will give you a review. I am not a review professional, however, I can provide you with feedback on how your story has impacted me.

Your story was fantastic! I enjoyed reading it. It was fascinating how Lisa and her brother had traveled into different realms. I got scared when Lisa fell. I was relieved when she was caught by a griffin and carried to safety. It was rather sad, I was almost in tears when they were in one realm where they saw their grandpa. He said that they would be there one day.

Your story was well-written. I look forward to reading more stories from you. I encourage you to keep on writing.

I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last throughout your lifetime.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
83
83
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, and good evening to you!

I read your story "A Unicorn's Tale", and I will give you a review. I am not a review professional, although I can provide you with feedback on how your story impacted me.

The name Seargent Hardhead fits well with your story. I had to laugh. The way the Unicorn was telling the story about the sergeant butting heads with the enemy, and killing fifty of them, was unbelievable. And, the part about the toilet paper being better than using leaves. That was amusing! Being in the military is nothing to laugh about, but they do need laughter in their lives.

I encourage you to keep writing. I enjoyed reading this comedy.

I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last throughout your lifetime. Everyone deserves to have this.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
84
84
Review of Coloring  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, and good evening to you!

I read your children's poem "Coloring", and I will give you a review. Although I am not a review professional, I can provide feedback on how your poem has impacted me.

Your poem is well-written. I enjoyed reading it. It makes a nice poem for children. It's fun to read children's books. It takes a special knack and talent to do this. I'm glad you put in the effort to write this poem.

I encourage you to keep up with your writing. You have done a fine job. Keep up the good work.

I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last throughout your lifetime.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
85
85
Review of Returned  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, and good morning to you!

I read your letter "Returned". I will provide a review for you. I am not a review professional, however, I can give you feedback on how your portfolio has affected me.

I am happy to see you return to Writing.Com; Writing.Com has a good family support system. Writing is good therapy and it is fun also. I want to give you a big welcome back.

I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness throughout your lifetime. Everyone deserves to have this.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
86
86
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, and good evening to you!

I read your short story "The Wind in the Willows". I am going to give you a review. I am not a review professional, however, I can provide feedback on how your short story has impacted me.

I love your story. I most certainly could relate to your story. It reminded me of a time when my mother received an inheritance for her brother. My sister helped her look for a newer house for her to live in since her former place was falling apart. When I went to look at it, it was like deja vue set in. I could have sworn I had been in that house before. I thought it had something to do with my past, but I didn't know what had happened there. It was an eerie feeling at first, but I also knew it was the perfect place for her to walk with her walker.

Your story also reminds me about jumping to conclusions, certain something was true, but wasn't true at all. It's funny (strange) how a person's mind works. Just because something reminds you of past experiences, doesn't mean it will happen again. The past brings back my experiences; they tell me not to trust people; I will only get hurt again, they keep telling me. This gets to be a struggle with me, even today. When my mind starts to get thoughts that my special guy doesn't feel like I'm pretty enough for him, I revert to the past. Each time a lady talks to him, my mind thinks there's something sneaky going on between them. I don't care to have those kinds of feelings; they're a pain in the butt.

I wrote a story "Jumping to Conclusions" (
 Jumping to Conclusions Open in new Window. (13+)
Senior Forum Contest - Short Story - No Prompt
#2275031 by Anna Marie Carlson Author IconMail Icon
. I invite you to read my story and, if you'd like, give me some feedback on what you think of what I wrote.

I encourage you to continue with your writing. It was enjoyable to read.

I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime. Everyone deserves to have this.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author



87
87
Review of Makes Sense  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I read your satirical poem "Makes Sense". I will give you a review. Although I am not a review professional, I can provide feedback on how your poetry has impacted me.

You put down that this poem is a satirical comedy. You gave a detailed description of this strange bird, a guy. He knew his fiancée who said he never showed up for the wedding. It makes sense for the fiancée to feel this way. For him not to show up for the wedding must have been heart-wrenching for her. A wedding is a huge event; a special bond between a woman and a man. Preparations for this event take a long time; making the guest list, etc. For him not to show up must have been an embarrassment for her and the people in attendance.

Your poem was well-written. I encourage you to keep up with your writing. You did a great job!

I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime. Everyone deserves to have this.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
88
88
Review of She is  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, and good morning to you!

I read your poem "She Is". I will do a review for you. Even though I am not a review professional, I can provide feedback on how your poetry has impacted me.

Wonderful! This was a beautiful tribute to your mother. Your description of her as a nurse was well put together. I enjoyed reading about your mother. She would be proud of you for remembering her this way.

I am looking forward to hearing more of your writings. I encourage you to keep up with your writing. Writing about your mother would be something good for you to do in her memory.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
89
89
Review of The Game He Plays  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I read your short story "The Game He Plays". I am going to give you a review. It's true. I am not a review professional, although I can provide you with feedback on how your story has impacted me.

You expressed yourself well in your short story. I felt sad for the little boy in blue when a vicious game was played on him. People can be mean to one another. It would be easier if we could be kind to each other instead of being cruel. The person who wanted to blow his horn when he didn't have one was an unkind soul. I can pick up the little boy blues emotion. He must have been hurting inside and felt like crying. The person who was cruel to this little boy could've bought him a horn. This would've made a huge difference in this boy's life. He would have grinned from ear to ear.

I encourage you to keep up with your writing. I hope my suggestion will be of help to you.

I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime. Everyone deserves to have this.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
90
90
Review of rebel yell  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, and good evening to you!

I read your story "Rebel Yell". I am going to give you a review. Although I am not a review professional, I can provide feedback on how your story impacted me.

I have to be honest with you. There were a lot of misspellings and letters that were overlapping. I read your whole story. It was interesting.

It would've been easier to read if the words were spelled right. It was an enjoyable story. I recommend you get someone to help you with your spelling, etc. A professional could help make your story better.

I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
91
91
Review of kids  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, and good evening to you!

I read your article "Kids". I am going to give you a review. I am not a review professional, however, I can provide you with feedback on how your article has impacted me.

You are not alone in your decision not to have kids. I made that decision when I was diagnosed as having a mental disability. My sister mentioned that if I had any kids, she most likely would've ended up raising them. When I heard the stories of people with kids and the day-to-day responsibilities that went along with it, I made the right decision not to have kids. Due to being depressed all the time when I was 17 to 50 years old, I didn't think it would be fair of me to bring them into the world. It would have been too much stress on myself to have carried on such a responsibility. Even though my ideal dream was to be happily married, have two kids (1 boy and 1 girl), have a nice house, and live happily ever after, I didn't regret having made that decision.

I am a straight person and I have a good friend who is gay. Some nice people are gay, and, because of their lifestyle, I still think of this person as my good friend.

I enjoyed reading your article. It was nice to hear of someone else having the same feelings as I do about this. I encourage you to keep up with your writing. Your writing was easy for me to read and understand.

I am looking forward to reading more articles from you.

I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime. Everyone is deserving of this.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
92
92
Review of No Pity  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I read your melodrama poem "No Pity". I will do a review for you. I am not a review professional, although I can provide you with feedback on how your poem has impacted me.

Your poem reads as follows:

Lest I be forgotten in this strong stench,
I shall let you know it has come to pass.
Tired and drained, smelling quite far from French.
Sadly in this round, I have gained some class.
The stinking power has faded, I'm so upset.
I must now take this into my own hands.
Standing on the ledge, I can let go of the hurt
I have felt on these lands. Letting myself fall
away from this plight, the last of my stink floats
into the clouds. I know now I couldn't have won
this fight; I've never fought well against massive
crowds.

So long, my fellow stinkers of the day.
I've come to find this isn't the way.

I have made a few minor corrections to the above. I hope this is helpful to you. Read it over and see what you think.

Your poetry was very descriptive when it came to having no pity. It was well-written. I could feel the emotion behind it.

I liked reading your poem. It was a dark way of talking about having no pity. I can understand where you're coming from. When you have no pity, your life can be miserable. It begins to eat at you.

I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime. Everyone is deserving of this.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
93
93
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, and good afternoon to you!

I read the comedy version of your poem "It's About Removing The Layers". I am going to give you a review. Even though I am not a review professional, I can provide feedback on how your poem has impacted me.

You poem was funny. I liked the term you used for turkey (Tofurky). Speaking in tongues was hilarious (talking in Yiddish, or whatever it was in the beginning). The part about the snake scared me since the thought of a snake scares me. Your Nana said that the snake had to be a poisonous one and she called Joel Osteen a charlatan and accused Papa of being a self-hating Jew.

There was a lot going into all that. I had to laugh. Your poem was well-written. It looked like some thought went into writing this comedy.

I encourage you to keep up with your writing. You presented it well.

I hope you have blessings of good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
94
94
Review of Morning Aubade  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello and good morning to you!

I read your nature poem "Morning Aubade". I am giving you a review. Although I am not a review professional, I can provide feedback on how your poem has impacted me.

Your poem reads as follows:

The cloying mist yields to the breeze;
its lace-like remnants slowly fade
revealing fields where chickadees
rejoice in song across the glade.

The gentle touch of morning light,
flows like an echo, soft and clear,
to bring forth colors lost at night
as poppies and lilacs appear.

Hummingbirds and bees join in
the melody of day's rebirth;
their whispered drone part of the din
that fills the air with nature's mirth.

An aural picnic, filled with joys;
a celebration of the earth
in harmonies that life employs
each morning at the day's new birth.

Your poem is beautiful. Your rhyming rhythm is great. It reminds of the spring and summer. It brings about a refreshing life to a gorgeous day. I can feel the senses that your poem brings.

I encourage you to keep up with your writing. It's a delightful way to begin the day.

I hope you have blessings of good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
95
95
Review of Who Are You?  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, and good morning to you!

I read your drama "Who Are You?". I am not a review professional, however, I can provide feedback on how the drama has impacted me.

Your drama was very well done. You found your match, but, in the end, she broke your heart.

I can relate to your poem. I was in the hospital with a roommate who was identical to me. She had the same mannerisms, look, and the same background. The only difference was that she had three kids and I had none. Talk about an eerie situation. The only way the nurses and doctors could tell us apart was to put my hair into a ponytail. We were great at playing ping pong though.

I've often thought people were making fun of me by using sarcastic humor or mimicking me. I am sorry the love relationship didn't work out in your story, however, I enjoyed reading it.

I encourage you to keep up with your writing. It reminded me a lot of myself.

I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
96
96
Review of The Train  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, and good morning to you!

I read your poem "The Train". I am not a review professional, however, I can provide feedback on how your poem has impacted me.

It's an interesting story about a train meeting its unstoppable force; recourse. Your poem was well-written. The train saw many things on its journey. Your poem is also uplifting.

Your poem reads as follows:

Once the train barreled through the darkness, maintaining its course
Until the train met its unstoppable force.

The ending gave inspiration even though the dark coals slowed the train down. Recourse was what the train chose to get through its journey, and got through all that heft in the end.

I encourage you to keep up with your writing. It reminded me of the old story "The Little Engine That Could". It couldn't make it up the hill when it said "I think I can, I think I can". It did make it up the hill and the engine had a big smile on its face.

I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
97
97
Review of Tall Tales WC 218  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, and good morning to you!

I read your short story "Tall Tales WC 218". I will gladly give you a review. Even though I am not a review professional, I can provide feedback on how your short story has impacted me.

I enjoyed reading your story. I understand why you wondered what kind of mischief your husband was up to after having heard too many excuses for why he was always late. You loved him anyway despite all that.

I have someone in my life like yours; always making up excuses. I do love him. It does get frustrating though. We do have quite the same similarities in our lives. He jokes around a lot, and it's sarcastic humor. It sounds like it's putting people down. I don't much care for this kind of humor; I don't get it.

I encourage you to keep up with your writing. It should help others who are going through a similar situation. It gave me some insight into understanding that I am not alone in
this kind of situation.

I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
98
98
Review of Eryndor  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, and good evening to you!

I have read your story "Eryndor", and the excitement I feel for doing a review is wonderful. Even though I am not a review professional, I can provide feedback on how your story has impacted me.

I love the title of your story "Eryndor". How did you arrive at this title? When I try thinking about a title for my story, I picture different places and place two ideas together for the setting of where it will be or I come up with the personalities of my characters to get settled on the names for them. I have a creative imagination and use it to my advantage when I have a plot in mind.

You did an excellent job doing an outline for your story. It was impressive! It encouraged me to do the same thing.

The last part of your outline is read as follows:

Adventures and Legends

Eryndor is a land ripe for adventure. From the quest to uncover ancient magical artifacts discovered in the ruins scattered across the land to the defense of a village from a marauding dragon, the opportunities for heroism and exploration are endless. Legends speak of a hidden realm beyond the Endless Desert, where the secrets of the world's creation are kept, and a prophecy that foretells the story about a great upheaval that will change Eryndor forever.

This is just a glimpse into the world of Eryndor, a canvas for endless stories and adventures. Each region holds its secrets and stories waiting to be discovered and told.

I changed some words in the last paragraph that I believe will be helpful to you. See what you think.


I am thinking about what happens next at Eryndor. I look forward to reading about it. Is this an outline for the NaNoWriMo Contest? It would be a good story for that. I am considering trying for this contest.

I hope you have blessings of good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime. I encourage you to keep up with your writing. You have a great start for a story.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
99
99
Review of FOLDER 9  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, and good evening to you!

I read the beginning part of your novel "Folder 9". I am thrilled to provide a review for you. I am not a review professional, however, I can give feedback on how your novel has impacted me.

I don't know anything about blogging; I have not tried to do this yet Fantastically speaking, I think it's great to have a folder for your romantic poem collection. I look forward to reading your poems on romance that you have written so far. Everyone has a different perspective on how a romantic relationship should be. I'm interested to hear yours.

I encourage you to keep up with your writing. Your experiences may help others in dealing with theirs.

I hope you are blessed with good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author
100
100
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, and good morning to you!

I read your political poem "Mendacious Mediocracy" and will gladly review it. Although I am not a review professional, I'll provide you with feedback on how your poem has impacted me.

The first two stanzas of your poem read as follows:

Important rage is inspired
by the pathetic presentation of a perfidious
opportunity to pick a political winner
one who actually cares about
anyone other than themselves

promising the earth
paradise too perhaps
so many good things when you vote for them
more of what you want
much more of what you need
piecrusts

I have two suggestions for making your poem sound better. They are as follows:

1. Remove the word actually on the fourth line of the first stanza:

Instead of one who actually cares about to one who cares about

2. The third line in the second stanza should be as follows:

Instead of so many good things when you vote for them, it should be there are so many
good things when you vote for them.

The last line when the word piecrusts was used sounded interesting to me. I haven't seen it used in that context before.

I enjoyed reading your poem. You said a lot in those 27 lines. It made a lot of sense to me. I agree with what you said. I am looking forward to reading more of your poems. I like the way you write. I don't understand politics; it isn't easy for anyone to understand. The politicians do lie a lot. They promise things you don't get and pass bills on things people don't know anything about and don't care to read up on issues. I am trying to learn; it just doesn't make much sense.

I hope you have blessings of good memories, good health, friendships, love, and happiness to last your lifetime.


Anna Marie Carlson
Preferred Author

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