\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/carly1967/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/9
Review Requests: ON
805 Public Reviews Given
805 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 5 6 7 8 -9- 10 11 12 ... Next
201
201
Review of Write Stuff  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Dave Author IconMail Icon,

I'm πŸ’™ Carly: poems & novel Author IconMail Icon. I am doing this review as part of my commitment to "Poetic Exploration" Open in new Window. and The Poet's Place (not sure if there is a discussion forum or not).

It is important to remember that I am not a professional. I am simply one who wishes to learn and grow in my own poetic voice. To do that, I practice my own creations and review the creations of others so that my knowledge can be furthered. That said, I want you to consider my opinion as merely that... your poem is ultimately your creation. Please feel free to use or disregard my advise as you see fit.

Overall Impression:

Your portfolio is packed with lots of wonderful poems. I choose one on the more simpler side tonight as my head is feeling a little wobbly. It is also one that speaks to the writer/poet in me. I can so relate to the obsessive need and persistence to follow your goal.

Form:

Three verses with a rhyming pattern of AABBA. You hold to the pattern... though I find the second and third verse to have more variety than the first. There is just a lot of 'stuff' in the first verse.... though it works just fine.

Techniques:

I am forgetting some of my poetic terms....

Favourite Lines:

The second verse is my favourite. It deals with the emotions that all writers and poets face... struggling to make our stuff good enough.

Suggestions:

I see no spelling or grammar issues.

Additional Comments:

I look forward to reading more of your work. Keep writing.

Thank you for sharing your poem. I enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading more of your work. Do keep writing.



Sig for Poetic Exploration ** Image ID #1947576 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
202
202
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful poem! I can feel your love as I read the piece. I wish you both well.
Your bio said you don't write as much anymore but enjoy reviewing. I appreciated the review you gave me and popped into to appreciate some of your work. It is lovely. Stay happy.
203
203
Review of Book Club  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Professor Q Author Icon.
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Gang's Monthly Review Board" Open in new Window. [13+] and I Write - September, October, November.
I have just read short piece "Book Club" Open in new Window., which I found when I posted my own Week 12 entry to the forum and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
I love the tone and style of this piece. Mystery and a twist. You held me wondering as I read it... what is Book Club? I enjoyed what you made of it. Curious what the prompt was... I will definitely be checking it out.


Characters:
Robert (Bobby)
Marsha
Zach
G - the anal leader of the group.
All the characters were crafted very authentically even within the confines of 1000 words. Well done.


Setting:
Going from Bobby apartment across town to another place where Book Club with meet. I enjoyed Bobby's dislike of the subway and your word choices - staying topside.


Plot:
The mystery of Book Club is revealed in slow trickle that captures the readers interest. Am I right in assuming they are writing a television script for some really popular show with superheroes and such. I think you moved the plot along very well. Holding the reader.


Favourite Part:
I like how you painted the characters - G: What happens in book club stays in Book Club. Marsha: written notes are kept in a safe. Bobby's computers. The only one not as defined this way is Zach, but that is okay.


Suggestions:
I see no spelling or grammar issues. I believe it is a well told tale.


Additional Comments:
Good luck on the contest... I am not sure what the actual prompt is but I am intrigued enough to go have a lookie.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
204
204
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi weirdoe28.
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Gang's Monthly Review Board" Open in new Window. [13+] and I Write - September, October, November.
I have just read short story "The Wonderful Gift" Open in new Window., which I found when I posted my own entry to Week 4 of the I Write contest and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
Curiousity had me going to check out the picture prompt. I have to say you did an interesting job following the prompt. I felt a sadness that comes with girls feeling like they need to do something so radical for their weight. I was also pleased that she came to her senses at the end.


Characters:
The Princess Esmerelda - who gives the gift of the finger and all it encapsulates.
Regina - the youngest sister who saves the day and encourages her sister to be more active - a much healthier way to maintain and lose weight.
The main character is Maria. It is her birthday.


Setting:
The castle which is home to the three girls. Within the castle, Maria's room, the kitchens and the party are accented.


Plot:
The plot had elements that disturbed me... but that was your intent... painting the dark side of an eating disorder. I found I did not like Esmerelda... she needs help, but I get the impression that the staff see her as all high and mighty - grateful she dos not stay for the party.
I thought the plot played out well.


Favourite Part:
I like the hiding element of opening the gift from Esmerelda in private. I also like that Regina saves her and gets her back on a healthier track.


Suggestions:
Β¨Look whoΒ΄s here,Β¨ said Esmerelda rolling her eyes. Perhaps because they were so far apart in age, Esmerelda and Regina had never gotten along well. And now that Esmerelda was away, they hardly spoke at all.
I like the beginning of this... but I find you can stop after rolling her eyes. I prefer to learn about their relationship as it plays out in the dialogue versus the telling part. Your dialogue does a good job of painting their relationship.
Also one space was missed after Esmerelda speaks and Regina speaks... it tripped me up because I had to reread to make sure they were two different speakers.


Additional Comments:
Overall it is a good piece. Good luck in the contest.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
205
205
Review of time to unwind  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Impressive Rhyssa Author IconMail Icon! You managed to use all 10 of the phrases in a way that makes them all sound good. From reading this, I am thinking you may have had another rough day... either way, your poem is wonderful and I applaud you for a job well done.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
206
206
Review of Ysangra  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Oh Rhyssa Author IconMail Icon I quite like this poem. You speaking about your planet was a cool way to convey the images and description. The only thing missing was your name. I think we were supposed to put that in... for me it was an afterthought... kind of a hiccup in my poem, but no worries. I put it in my description to start.
I was over at the Steam room and noted you were writing this with low blood sugar... hope your feeling better today, but I found the poem was well written and conceived.
Your capture many senses in your description - taste, smell, touch, sights... I don't think hearing was used but the use of dill brings definite elements of taste and smell - well done.
Your last stanza is an interesting one... it captures that level of understanding your alien has had to learn to fit in here. I thought that was brilliant.
I look forward to reading more of your poems for this challenge. Good luck with today's - it's going to be tough!
Thanks for sharing and definitely keep writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
207
207
Review of silent huntress  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Lovely. A free verse that flows very well. I was thinking cat during the first verse, but the second verse had me rethinking... to some kind of rapture or bird of prey... "watching for the stars to light my way" brought it into focus. Well done.
You made yourself into a wonderful little owl. I see you as tiny, like the barn owl my grandfather shooed out of the granary one summer. He should have left it there... to hunt for the mice that lurked within the bending boards.
I really liked: "dappled cloak" and the last verse.
You did an excellent job of working in the words and you made the animal you. Well done.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
208
208
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
My favourite stanzas are the first and third. I felt a connection to this poem as I am currently dealing with a 'stranger' I have known for many, many years. These two verses resonate with me.
I think 'specially' needs an 'e' at the beginning. I had to laugh at the cap - it almost seems like you forgot about that word and had to work it in... it works. It just caught me off balance... probably because that last verse is so short.
I enjoyed reading your poem. Thank you for sharing it and I wish you well on your month long poetry journey. I am taking the challenge of the Construct Cup as well.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
209
209
Review of my tower  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I wanted to give back and seeing as how you have reviewed some of my poems, I felt I would honour that attention with some of my own.
I picked this one because I loved the prompt - and I am glad you attached as a dropnote (those are truly wonderful things).
You do an excellent job crafting your poem and painting a picture of your crystal tower. I love that it is your 'studio among the trees'. My dream space is similar, but not a tower. Being around nature always inspires.
I really enjoyed this piece. Thank you for sharing. Good luck with the contest... a month of poetry. We can do this!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
210
210
Review of Calvary  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi noblecrowns Author Icon.
I have just read your poem " Calvary" Open in new Window. and wanted to share my thoughts with you. This review is part of the Game of Thrones challenge.


Overall Impressions:
An interesting poem. I loved how you tried to capture the greatness of this mountain. I really like how the poem follows along the passage of time - first it is 'waiting for her time in history', the bellows of war, then Jesus's crucifixion, to now to be remembered as the 'prince of all mountains'.


Form:
There are 4 stanzas of 11 lines each. I do not see any rhyming pattern. I am not sure what this form is... I would say free verse, but there is a structure to this piece... in its repetitive aspects.


Techniques:
Alliteration - sweet scents, remembered redemption
Repetition of the last two lines -
'How i love to see thy face
My Calvary'


Favourite Part:
I love the contrasts of the stanzas - from before the crucifixion to after.


Suggestions:
How I love to see they face - should this be thy face or should it repeat as 'your face'. I think it would be stronger if all four verses repeated as either 'thy face' or 'your face' - keep the consistency.
Not sure what is going on with punctuation. I would at least put a period at the end of each stanza.
'Where all humanity were saved' this line causes me to wonder... is it were saved or was saved? To me 'was saved' sounds better.
I see no spelling issues or concerns.

Additional Comments:
Powerful poem.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

Signature for 2015 Game of Thrones Challenge - Dark Drreamscapes Group

House Baratheon image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
211
211
Review of Nine Wishes  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating Author Icon.
I have just read your poem "Nine Wishes" Open in new Window. and wanted to share my thoughts with you.


Overall Impressions:
At little chuckle at you opening boxes in your living room. You did a nice job of following the prompt. I had to laugh at this being a random review and it is for WDC Birthday celebration of number 9! Cool.
I like the rules you put in place - giving some wishes to someone else and not screwing up the Earth's history.
I think you have some great wishes... though I would have asked for a lifetime premium membership to WDC and many prosperous years to come. Thinking big.
Many of your wishes are quite general but it is the thought of good things that matter.


Form:
I would think this is a free verse poem.
There is some rhymes... lots of 'you' and 'do' - but they work as this poem tells a story or sorts.

Techniques:
Enjambment is used to let the poem flow along as it tells its story.


Favourite Part:
The poem ends with you opening boxes in your living room.


Suggestions:
In the last stanza... disappear should be disappeared, I believe.
I see no other spelling or grammar issues or concerns.

Additional Comments:
What would you wish for now if you had to do this poem again Neva? Would you choose similar things or go bigger? Well done.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

Signature for 2015 Game of Thrones Challenge - Dark Drreamscapes Group
House Baratheon image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
212
212
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi Fran πŸŒˆπŸ§œβ€β™€οΈ Author Icon.
I have just read your short piece "Princess Claudette" Open in new Window. and wanted to share my thoughts with you.


Overall Impressions:
This is a piece for Daily Flash fiction - where the story must be told in 500 words or less. You do a fabulous job creating the mood - dark and forbidding. I was drawn in, moving with the character to see what woke her. Excellent tale.


Characters:
Claudette - though at one time a princess - is awakened in the night. You do a great job crafting her, pulling her nerves finely so that the reader is right there with her.
Another character a ghost of a long dead friend is in the library - chilling.


Setting:
A darkened mansion in the middle of the night. Claudette makes her way into the library where she heard noises.


Plot:
Claudette has been awakened by a sound coming from a room down the hall. She goes to explore and finds an old friend who died many years before waiting for her to come and play.


Favourite Part:
I love the chill and nerves building over the course of the story, but particularly at the beginning before she opens the door.


Suggestions:
This line is awkward for me because I don't know what an 'icy treacle'is.
"The air felt like icy treacle as it made its way into her lungs."
Beyond that I do not see any other spelling or grammar issues or concerns.

Additional Comments:
I think you do an excellent job crafting such a chilling tale into a mere 297 words. The prompt line is highlighted... that is a bonus. I wish I had tried this prompt. Well done.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

Signature for 2015 Game of Thrones Challenge - Dark Drreamscapes Group

House Baratheon image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
213
213
Review of The Revealing  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Fran πŸŒˆπŸ§œβ€β™€οΈ Author Icon.
I have just read very, very, very, very short short... did I say short, piece of fiction "The Revealing" Open in new Window. and wanted to share my thoughts with you.


Overall Impressions:
This has the beginning of a very intriguing story, but where is the story? I was pulled in, much like the other salivating ghouls that are bewitched and enthralled but then... nothing. And what does he look like once he has stripped off his outer disguise? A sight to behold. Intriguing, but I want more.


Characters:
A ghostly apparition is introduced. You do an excellent job of crafting him. The mood and evilness shimmer from your words.


Setting:
Not really given.


Plot:
Not really defined as the piece only introduces our ghostly apparition.


Favourite Part:
I love the words you use to craft this character. They are powerful and convey the menace and evil that lurks within.


Suggestions:
More, More, More please.
I see no grammar or spelling concerns.

Additional Comments:
Now, I applaud you with giving this as one of your reviews to be done in this competition. It gives me a challenge to come up with something to write to get me up to 1000 characters, but the thing is Fran - my dear lovely Fran. I picked you to review because I love your blog and I consider you my friend. You are priceless and a hoot. I expected good things to review and I was not disappointed - though the joke may be on me. I laugh and salute you... as it gives me a chance to chat away about how dear you truly are and the gratitude I feel for knowing that you are my friend here at WDC!


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

Signature for 2015 Game of Thrones Challenge - Dark Drreamscapes Group

Image #2039489 over display limit. -?-



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
214
214
Review of Dark Run  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Smee Author Icon.
I have just read your short piece of fiction "Dark Run" Open in new Window. and wanted to share my thoughts with you.


Overall Impressions:
I realize this is an older piece but I was drawn in.


Characters:
The full information about the characters is not clear at the beginning and for a very good reason. We are thinking a person is running from a monster and he is protecting something precious... but what is really happening is two brothers are pretending and their world of make believe is blown up for us in 'full colour' so to speak. I loved it. A story in less than 500 words... no wonder it won.


Setting:
We are made to believe our character is in some kind of awful place running to escape a monster. The scene is painting in technicolour and we are drawn in... running with him to make sure he gets to safety... Then we realize, at the end, that we are in the boys house - running from the bedroom to the kitchen. Loved it. Well done.


Plot:
We are drawn in to the story and follow the high impact running. The pace is quick - like we are running with the character... release comes when we realize we are safely home.


Favourite Part:
The realization that we are in the imagination of two boys. Loved it. I was carried along. Totally engrossed.


Suggestions:
I see no spelling or grammar issues.


Additional Comments:
Well done. I can see why this short piece won. It is very good. I will have to explore more of your writing. This was only my introductory taste.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

Signature for 2015 Game of Thrones Challenge - Dark Drreamscapes Group

Image #2039489 over display limit. -?-



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
215
215
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Fran πŸŒˆπŸ§œβ€β™€οΈ Author Icon.
I have just read your short piece "Money for those in need" Open in new Window. and wanted to share my thoughts with you.


Overall Impressions:
I am glad this is fiction, Fran. I was thinking the couple would donate a portion... but all of it - that is fiction.


Characters:
Lara and her husband, Paul. They are authentic and real. I can relate to them and I can easily visualize then scene you paint.


Setting:
The living room of Lara and Paul's home. A simple setting for a simply solid story.


Plot:
Lara is watching television and is crying as she watches the dire situations in Africa being shown in the fundraising show she is 'transfixed' to.
When her husband comes home he has news. A winning ticket. 20,000 pounds. And he decides after seeing his wife's tears, to donate the whole amount to the cause.
The story is merely 300 words, meeting the word count of a contest, but you manage to tell a solid story very well.

Favourite Part:
They do a good thing.


Suggestions:
I see no spelling or grammar issues.


Additional Comments:
I hope good things come to this couple who is willing to donate their winnings to a worthy cause. For their generosity good things must be in store.
You craft a good tale given the limited word count

I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

Signature for 2015 Game of Thrones Challenge - Dark Drreamscapes Group

Image #2039489 over display limit. -?-



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
216
216
Review of My Angel  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi blue jellybaby Author Icon.
I have just read your short piece "My Angel" Open in new Window. and wanted to share my thoughts with you.


Overall Impressions:
A very emotionally charged story. I was drawn in from the beginning; held their by the description of the accident and the fact that Christian lost his life trying to save her. I love that he saves her again. He could be her guardian angel. I really enjoyed this story.


Characters:
The main character is Joanne, though the story is told in first person. That kept the reader connected and close to her. There was an intimacy that was apparent and it heightened the experience as I read the piece.
Christian was the main character's boyfriend - the love of her life, killed in an accident when he tried to save her from a runaway bandit in a silver Cadillac. (Great detail)


Setting:
You paint the settings very well.
The opening scene is the introduction of our characters and death of the girl's boyfriend, Christian. It is very emotional and the girl's anguish is palatable.
The current scene, six months later takes place in her own house. An intruder has broken in. You do an excellent job building the tension as you draw your character into the impending doom. Doom that she is rescued from thanks to her loving Guardian Angel, Christian.


Plot:
The story unfolds and uses the forshadowing aspect of Christian being a protector - what he does that gets him killed also saves her in the future when he is her guardian angel.
Tension builds as we go with Joanne downstairs to confront the intruder - though I was inclined to yell 'call the dang cops first' but that is only me. The story worked without that happening - was probably more intense because she didn't.
Christian saving her is a comforting end to the climax. My only concern is him waiting for her in heaven. I am worried she would do herself in to be with him... maybe if he said: 'I love you. I'll be waiting for you. Be strong my love.'


Favourite Part:
Christian saving her. I would suggest adding in his scent to pull as many of the sensory aspects into the story as possible.


Suggestions:
sickening thud as his head impacted against the floor - I would write ground instead of floor as they are outside.
I refused to be let go - I would write 'I refused to let go'
I would add the sense of smell at the end - a faint fragrance of Christian's cologne or waft of his scent sending chills or tremmors of awareness through her. Very sensory - especially since sight is not an option.

Additional Comments:
As I said before, I really enjoyed this story and I am intrigued enough to want to read over your rewrite of the original - so I appreciate that link at the bottom of your piece. I have done a few rewrites of my own and I like that you have provided the link. I may just be inclined to follow your good example.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

Signature for 2015 Game of Thrones Challenge - Dark Drreamscapes Group

Image #2039489 over display limit. -?-



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
217
217
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Fran πŸŒˆπŸ§œβ€β™€οΈ Author Icon.
It's Carly and I am doing this review because I saw this posted on my News Feed and I wanted to give you some support as you move forward on your creative writing journey. I think you rock and I am proud of you for taking on this challenge. I am also glad to call you one of my friends.
I have just read your writing profile "My Writing Profile" Open in new Window. and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
Looks good, Fran. You have set yourself some worthy goals and I believe you will master them as you have grown in self knowledge and that has inspired you to get back to what is truly important to you.
I think you did an excellent job of telling about your past writing history. I want to kick the ass of the person who told you that writing was silly - what did they know! Anyway, I am glad you came back into the fold and let your writing grow and take on an importance that has re - entered your life. Good things cannot be forced, and I think you are taking the necessary steps to get to your dreams and goals.
I agree with you about reading everything and anything. The learning never stops. We are always learning from other writers and from the world around us.
I think you are on target with your goals or the aims for the course you are taking and I wish you every enjoyment in the process. Just remember the teacher is only one voice in this big creative sea... I hope your instructor is inspiring and open to the process. If they are not - do not take what they say to heart. Just remember to stay in touch with your friends here at Writing.com because we also have your heart in ours and we encourage each other.


Suggestions:
One suggestion I will make is just before the Stephen King quote, you wrote 'write' instead of 'right'. Beyond that, I did not see any other spelling or grammar issues.


Additional Comments:
Thanks for sharing this with me. I know you will do well and hope you get a lot out of the experience... one of these days I may get out there and do a class as well.
I am glad to call you my friend. Please let me know how it is going.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
218
218
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Oh yeah! I can see why this won. Well done, Ken. You captured and held my interest, telling a tale in only a few words. Impressive. When I saw your name with an entry I knew the odds of winning became smaller, but losing to such a well written piece is okay.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
219
219
In affiliation with 30-Day Bloggers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I did not realize we were supposed to do a real review as well as our review in our blog. So here I am first thing in the morning, reading the one done for mine and thinking oh oh. Well, Fran here I am.

I thought your ideas were on point and I can understand your concerns about stepping on toes and not getting carried away. Your disclaimer was done in a fun way... just what I would expect from you.

Strange that a topic like this hits the news. I don't listen to much news either... mainly because I find it depressing and negative.

Overall, I like your approach and I appreciate your views.

Now... I will get back to my regularly scheduled day. Have a great one!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
220
220
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi TJ Marie Author Icon.
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Gang's Monthly Review Board" Open in new Window. [13+] and I Write - December, January, February.
I have just read your poem "Who Are the Yule Lads?" Open in new Window., which I found above mine when I posted my entry for Week 5 in the I Write contest and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
I loved the story this poem told. I was drawn in to know these Yule Lads and thought it a good story... one that could be a traditional tale told each year around the Christmas season.


Technique:
Enjambment is used to move the poem along so that it flows more like a story than a poem.
I would have to say it is free verse as there is not apparent rhyme scheme. I am not so overly familiar with poetic forms - though I want to learn more. I expect, as this tells a story within the poem that it must be some type of poem that does that. You do an excellent job telling the tale and drawing in your audience. I was captivated.


Favourite Part:
You paint wonderful images as you tell your tale. I like how you talk about each lad and their particular fetish.


Suggestions:
I see no spelling or grammar issues.
I am left wondering what is in the sack she carries, but then I am probably left to guess at that and not be told.


Additional Comments:
I quite loved this poem. I wish you well in the contest.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
221
221
Review of Ice Cream Day  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Fran πŸŒˆπŸ§œβ€β™€οΈ Author Icon.
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Gang's Monthly Review Board" Open in new Window. [13+] and I Write - December, January, February.
I have just read poem "Ice Cream Day" Open in new Window., which I found as the item before mine in the I Write contest forum and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
Without even reading it I was taken in by the shape poem and the colour... the drips down the side. Very cool.
You tell a little story with you and your mom and dad. All of you enjoying the indulgence of ice cream day... which I have never heard of, but an certainly not opposed to.


Technique:
Enjambment follows the poem along like the drips that flow down the cone.


Form:
Lovely shape poem that pulls me in and makes me wish I had some ice cream right now.

Favourite Part:
Your description makes me want to go get a bit of ice cream with all the lovely sprinkles and toffee drizzling sauce!


Suggestions:
No spelling issues.


Additional Comments:
Love this. Good luck in the contest.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
222
222
Review of Endless  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Dark Dreamscapes  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Jellyfish Author IconMail Icon,

I'm πŸ’™ Carly: poems & novel Author IconMail Icon. I am doing this review as part of my commitment to Dark Dreamscapes and the I Write - September, October, November contest.

I have selected this poem "Endless" Open in new Window. as it was the entry before mine in the I Write contest.

It is important to remember that I am not a professional. I am simply one who wishes to learn and grow in my own poetic voice. To do that, I practice my own creations and review the creations of others so that my knowledge can be furthered. That said, I want you to consider my opinion as merely that... your poem is ultimately your creation. Please feel free to use or disregard my advise as you see fit.

Overall Impression:

I love the feelings you evoke in your poem. The despair follows the reader. The imagery you create is well crafted and appropriate.

Form:

I am not sure what the form is, but I would say as it is not rhyming that it falls into the category of free verse. It works well with this dark, rambling topic. It takes the reader on a journey with you.

Techniques:

Enjambment is employed to give the poem a flowing, endless movement forward. That is excellent for this poem.
Alliteration is used - 'heavy hearted' 'stale scenery'
Consonance is also used - 'to practice their polite applause'
Sensory aspects are drawn in including reference to taste - 'my taste unconvincing' reminding me that in the heaviness of despair all things leech out - vision is grey, taste is flat and so forth. Well done.
Images are vivid and compelling. Powerful.

Favourite Lines:

I like the imagery of the stanza that begins "We are all actors on the stage" - not only does it give a visual but it permeates with an emotional impact.
"Shedding expanations like Broken skin" - great imagery!

Suggestions:

To me the line "The ferryman has taken the wrong turning" seems odd in that turning could just be turn - but I think you are following some pattern with 'unconvincing', 'waning' 'turning' and 'nothing'. In that case it is no bother. But it sticks out a bit and messes a little with the flow.

I like how the poem ends but the ferryman just doesn't sit well with me. What if you have taken the wrong turn and met with the ferryman. I don't know.
You could almost leave him out and end with:
I have nothing left
To believe in
I am nothing.

Additional Comments:

I really enjoyed this poem. It is dark but not scary. The emotional impact is amazingly well done and I salute you.

Thank you for sharing your poem. I enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading more of your work. Do keep writing.



** Image ID #1991970 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
223
223
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Weirdone-Back in the games Author Icon.
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Gang's Monthly Review Board" Open in new Window. [13+] and the I Write - September, October, November contest.
I have just read your story "Theseus and Ariadne" Open in new Window., which I found when I entered my own poem to the I Write contest - yours was the one before mine and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
I really like the concept of this story. Mythology has always fascinated me. It was well written and held me captive.


Characters:
Theseus and Ariadne and their father's - King Minos of Crete and King Aegeus.
Minotaur


Setting:
A banquet is being held at the palace of King Minos in Crete. His daughter and King's son, Theseus are bored and Ariadne invites Theseus up to her room afterward.
The third setting is that of the Labyrinth where the Minotaur resides.


Plot:
The story is broken up into parts that serve the story well. The boring feast is the shortest but allows for the introduction of characters.
Ariadne's bedroom is longer as she tells the tale of her half brother and his entrapment in the Labyrinth as he is half man and half bull. The tale stirs the teenagers to act on their own urges and that places them within the bowls of the Labyrinth.
The pacing is well handled.


Favourite Part:
I like that Theseus comes to admonish Ariadne's father for putting her down - calling her a 'silly' woman. It had a satisfying ending.
I also enjoyed the adventure within the Labyrinth itself.


Suggestions:
I did not see any grammar or spelling issues but I was too drawn into the story to notice anything amiss.


Additional Comments:
Good luck with the contest. I thoroughly enjoyed the story.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
224
224
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi αΊ‚eΞ²ΰΏšαΊ‚α»‰tcΔ₯ Author Icon.
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Gang's Monthly Review Board" Open in new Window. [13+].
I also chose to review your item today as part of my review challenge at the "Invalid Item" Open in new Window..

I have just read your poem "Reflections Revealed" Open in new Window., which I found when perusing the list of items in the Symposium vault of alumni items to review and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
I love the peaceful ebb and flow this piece evokes in my soul. I share your enjoyment of those reflected moments - the reality and the reflection ignite a passion of letting nature seep into your soul and forever lift you as well as make you remember, whether reflected or real, nature moves through its way in the necessary path.


Form:
Although I love reading and reading poetry, my knowledge is quite basic at this time. As I do not pick up an obvious rhyming patterns, I am going to say this poem is free verse. I so enjoy the freedom this form allows. Creating imagery and using word sounds that flow appeal to me and I think you do a fine job crafting your piece.


Techniques:
Enjambment is employed to curl the lines and move the piece forward in a flow that resonates with the reader. I am carried along like a breeze taking in the whole beautiful scene.
The imagery you craft awakens the sights in my mind's eye. I am able to see the world you paint - in the trees and birds and their luminous reflections.
My own experience pulls at the sounds - the urgent flee of birds, the lapping of water, the peace that a breeze brings yet only warps the image, not distorting it too much with wind.
Your use of words to paint the images - "sun-lit majesty", "colourful crowns'
The words you use to calm - "pacifies the soul" "eye feast"


Favourite Part:
I love the imagery here:
"They stand, those pencil-like sentries of evergreen,
saluting the handiwork of the Creator."

I also like the connection to the spiritual Creator.

These lines awaken sounds and sights for me, resonating with my own experience.
"There is an urgent flee of birds.
taking delight in their flight"


Suggestions:
I see no spelling issues. The poem flows well so I do not see any other concerns.


Additional Comments:
I like the feeling of calmness this poem awakens in me this morning. My senses are satisfied. Thank you for that. This is a good sample of your writing and I look forward to peeking in at other pieces that I sure will move me just as much. Keep writing.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
225
225
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi regal Author Icon.
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. and the WDC Senior Mod. Contest.
I have just read your monologue "Invalid Item" Open in new Window., which I found when searching for a Newbie to read and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. You are welcome to use or disregard any of my advise.


Overall Impressions:
I was moved by your content and found it resonated with it. I thought it interesting that you started with a story of a man suffering with Post Tramatic Stress Syndrome and how he rushes to get back to the 'noise of life'.


Favourite Part:
I enjoyed the content and it resonated with me.
Quietude.
Noise of life.


Suggestions:
Oh of the things that gave me pause was the layout of your piece. It is a monologue which is going to be packed with your thoughts but I think for visual relief if you put spaces between your paragraphs it would help to open the piece up. It is so word packed it is a bit overwhelming - word noise.


Additional Comments:
I really enjoyed your piece and the content. Keep writing.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.
296 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 12 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/carly1967/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/9