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126
126
for entry "Wonder" 
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Tinker ,

I'm 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson . I am doing this review as part of WDC 19th Birthday Celebration and it is part of I Writer in 2019.

*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 19th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*


It is important to remember that I am not a professional. I am simply one who wishes to learn and grow in my own poetic voice. To do that, I practice my own creations and review the creations of others so that my knowledge can be furthered. That said, I want you to consider my opinion as merely that... your poem is ultimately your creation. Please feel free to use or disregard my advice as you see fit.


Overall Impression:

Such a lovely poem to read on a night so much like the one you portray.
you employ alliteration - 'this evening's stillness Remnants of summer wane'

Form:

This is a free verse poem.

Techniques:

You employ enjambment to give the poem its flow from one line to the next.

Favourite Lines:

Where do I begin... I love the sensory aspects of this poem. The 'cricket serenade', 'cool fingers of air' 'skim my limbs'. I can see those brilliant constellations and it makes me want to breath in the cool, fresh clean air.
I see the plane and like how you included it by only calling it a 'string of blinking red and blue lights'.
I also love the contrast of 'staring in wonder' at the stars versus 'do they wonder who might be down here watching?'

Suggestions:

I see no grammar or spelling concerns.
I believe you have done a good job with your punctuation - though this is a weak area for me.

Additional Comments:

I like how you let the Poet's Place Discussion help you craft your poem and then you entered a contest. Well done. I wish you luck in the contest. It is a winning entry to me.

Thank you for sharing your poem. I enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading more of your work. Do keep writing.



Sig for Poetic Exploration


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127
127
Review of Attitude Changes  
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Mastiff .
My name is 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson and I am doing this review on behalf of "I Write In 2019"  [E].
I have just read your short story "Attitude Changes" , which I found when I posted my own entry in the I Write in 2019 forum and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
Interesting story. i found myself drawn in almost from the very beginning. At first I was a little daunted by the length of the piece, but once i got into it, the length din't continue to bother me.
I love the adventurous aspect of the story. I was as taken in as Ruby.


Characters:
Ruby and her benefactor, Thomas.
Ruby was well defined. I got a real sense of her life and the staleness of it.
The strange caller (Thomas) was a mystery and I found I was still curious about him at the end.


Setting:
Being stuck in a traffic jam during rush hour was described well. I felt the desolation Ruby felt as she went about her life.
I followed her along on her adventure and the pacing was handled smoothly.


Plot:
Interesting... having read the Show, Don't Tell guidelines:
Ruby is annoyed to be in stop-and-go rush hour traffic.
She angrily rejects a call--or calls--from an unknown number on her mobile phone.
A mysterious person in the vehicle in front of her holds up a sign that says, "Answer the phone."
The phone rings, Ruby answers, and her life forever changes.

I got the sense that you did the first and last aspects, but did not incorporate the two middle ones. I am not sure if they were required, but I did not miss them.
I think you handled the situation outlined for you with good pacing and I feel you did a good job showing and not telling the reader what was happening.

I just hope not including the middle two aspects doesn't compromise your chances for winning.

Favourite Part:
I liked that Ruby took a chance... at each and every choice point she considered and went for it. I applaud her.


Suggestions:
I only found two wee slip ups:
'wonderful jobs' I believe should be wonderful job.
'Pretty bad." She relied' - I think you meant replied.


Additional Comments:
I quite liked this story and I wish you luck in winning. I think is definitely a worthy, fun piece.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
128
128
Review of The Old Tower  
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi Mastiff ,

I have the pleasure of reviewing your short flash fiction piece as it comes before mine in the I Write in 2019 forum.
I was curious what the prompt was for this and had to do some checking to see it was an older entry. I found it - Prompt for 6/4 - Write a story that includes the words: law, rock, glass. All of those were used and integrated well into the piece, but I thought one of the rules is to highlight those words in some way.

Overall, it was a good wee story... but I was a little confused near the end... I am assuming the office worker was asking the boys not to piss down the pipe that is "cut off above my office" I think it would have been stronger to just leave that part out or say 'it runs into my office and leaves puddles.'

Beyond that i felt it was an interesting tale and worthy of a fun read.

Happy writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
129
129
Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "June 24, 2019" 
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi ridinghhood-p.boutilier ,

I am back to add another review to this because I watched a bit of the news last night and found out what you meant by kids in cages. No it makes more sense and I do really like what you managed to get across in your 22 syllables.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
130
130
Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "June 24, 2019" 
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi ridinghhood-p.boutilier ,

It's 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson and I am having the pleasure of reviewing your 24 syllable poem because it comes before mine in the I Write In 2019 forum.

I am having a very dim day... I had to look up the word exurb... but then, I did know what paradigm is.

I did a quick check of syllable counts on https://syllablecounter.net/count and they only gave it 22 syllables. When I first counted out on my fingers I got 23. I have found the use of this syllable counter to be invaluable when it comes to this wonderful contest.

It all makes sense to me until the last line - "kids in cages". I am not up on american politics, but I know enough to dislike 'he who cannot be named' without gagging... So, being Canadian, I apologize for not getting it. Maybe when I am not so tired... but a little clarity for this poor soul would be kindness.

I like your use of the tarot cards. I am toying with the idea of buying some, since I can't find the set I bought years ago and have misplaced. I think they are excellent for helping you find a prompt.. and getting you thinking about all sorts of things.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
131
131
Review of Summer Splendor  
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi IceSkatingSugarCube ,
I am 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson and I have the pleasure of reviewing your poem as it falls bfore mine in the I Write in 2019 forum.

This is a new style for me... apparently Welsh poetic styles are all the rage this week - this is the second one I have done. *Bigsmile*

I appreciate the fact that you included a dropnote with the poetic form's guidelines. That was very helpful and considerate.

I felt you did a lovely job capturing the essence of summer fun. I believe you held to the rhyming pattern and the syllable counts. I see no spelling or grammatical concerns or issues.

I wish you all the best in the contest!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
132
132
Review of Honing the Craft  
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Tinker ,
This is a poetic form I am unfamiliar with, but I really like it. It seems quite challenging. The rhyming pattern is intriguing - Line 1 and Line 2 at the end, then again in the middle of Line 3. I think you do an excellent job of using rhymes that are fresh. Well done.
I like the poems message - which I interpret as a dancer finding that age is beginning to challenge their body in ways that youth did not. As I age I find I can relate to the body not being as "quick and strong, with time has mellowed" That is a nice way to put it. One does not need to be a dancer to feel the aging come into your life.
Thank you for sharing your words.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
133
133
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi ruwth ,

It's 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson and I have the pleasure of reviewing you tiny piece. Interesting contest - 140 characters. I popped this into a couple of counters and one claimed 32 words, 115 characters (without spaces) and 146 characters (with spaces). So I would say it falls within the guidelines of the contest.
A story in 149 characters seems a bit extreme, but doable. I need to read a few more of these to see if a story emerges or simply a tweet of happenings. I liked yours and I wish you well in the contest.

I enjoyed the author's notes you provided. They are thought provoking.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
134
134
Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "May 8, 2019" 
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi ridinghhood-p.boutilier ,

I'm 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson and I have the pleasure of review your entry to the I Write In 2019 forum. I hadn't realized we could use blog posts... but then again is it a lovely poem. I appreciate the author's notes at the bottom of your poem as they helped a great deal. I had not heard of Baba Yaga or her cat before. It sounds like something I may want to look into in the future.
I also looked up the #metoo movement. Thank you for that as well.
I like the idea of using Tarot Cards to give you inspiration for your blog - it always amazes me what can come from a prompt of that nature.

I enjoyed the poem - it was simple, yet profound in its essence. I really liked the little pictures you wove into the piece to keep it light considering the topic of saving innocent girls. Thank you for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
135
135
Review of The Wood Nymph  
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Ken!
I have the plesure of reviewing your piece for the I Write In 2019 Challenge as it comes before mine in the forum.
I find myself mesmerized by the potency and perfection of your lyrical poetry. Absolutely beautiful. I could see the wood Nymph awakening. I love how you wound the description within the poem's magic.It drew me in as much as her creation did. Lovely.
Your rhymes are fresh within the traditional quatrain frame. The poem takes on a life of its own as you paint the brush strokes of her creation... and her time to sleep once again.
I take my hat off to you. Another beauty.
I also appreciate the information at the bottom of your poem.
I wish you luck in the contest... I am hoping to entry that contest as well, but you have set the bar very high as always. Thank you so much for sharing your work! It is always a pleasure to read.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
136
136
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Detective
I am 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson and I have the privileged of reviewing your poem as it falls before mine on the I Write In 2019.
I love the images you bring to the piece - the birds and the warming sun. Those are things I love about April, but I can see where it is the cruelest month in that it is slow to warm up... and snow is not out of the forecast. Last year we had one ice storm that closed the schools - it was the only school closer day for the whole year! It was two weeks into the month and I have friends who live farther north and they were snowed in the last weekend of April. So I would say the unexpected nature of the month causes it to be 'cruel'. We want the warmth of spring... but it is not coming as fast as we would like.
I think your poem is quite beautiful. I wish you good luck in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
137
137
Review of Oregon  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi Mastiff

I am Carly and I have the pleasure of reviewing your piece as it falls before mine in the I Write in 2019 forum.

I see you have entered the Verdant Poetry contest as well. I am also pleased to see you did 3 poems. I am not sure if that is the way of things, but I did two and called it a pair of lady slippers. So I am glad to see you went with more as well.

I wasn't familiar with this form and I am still not certain if I carried it off correctly. Three short lines with internal rhymes...I see some internal rhymes within your poem, but not in every line. Then I wasn't sure if each of your three parts were separate parts of the poem. I am even more confused about this form. So I am not sure what to say... I like your poem and I wish you the best in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
138
138
Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "February 7, 2019" 
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi ridinghhood-p.boutilier ,

It's 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson and I have the opportunity to review your poem because it was just before mine in the I Write forum.

I love this 24 syllable poetry contest. I gather you were a winner and I can see why. The only draw back was that I had to look the word aureate up. I like using the dropnote feature and poking the definition in at the bottom of the piece.

Aside from that I felt that your poem conveyed the beauty of the table and its ornate display.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
139
139
for entry "~ A Snow Angel and ~" 
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
A cute wee story ruwth . Whether true or not is brought a smile to my face and lifted my spirits. A good wee tale can do that. *BigSmile*

I have never tired this contest so I don't know the details or expectations, but I wish you good luck.

Merry Christmas.

My mother and I are celebrating Advent with a different tea each day... a nice way to end the day. Cheers.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
140
140
In affiliation with Poetic Exploration  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi ruwth ,
It's 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson and I get to review your wee poem for the 24 Syllables contest.

I loved that you captured a moment within the 24 syllables that has great meaning for you... thank you for sharing that Laurel is your father in law. He will be forever held in high esteem within your words and thoughts.
I did have to look up the word rapacious - an adjective meaning to be "aggressively greedy or grasping." Very cool word choice - 3 syllables used right there.
You use the word lovingly in your prayer. We all want an easy way for our dying - both for them, for us and for all the ones who loved them.
May God bless you and keep you within his loving arms as you move through this time.

I count 25 or 26 syllables (depending on how I say being), but I still really like the poem and think it touches on the moment with tenderness.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
141
141
Review of Tofurkey Day  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating .
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of I Write for 2018 and "Gang's Monthly Review Board"  [13+].
I have just read your short piece "Tofurkey Day" , which I found when I posted my own entry for week #44 to the forum and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
This gave me a good laugh and reminded me of my own family dinners. For that I had to give you the full five stars. The story held me and I ambled right along with you.


Characters:
A husband and wife, team


Setting:
The setting was in the kitchen of the couple.


Plot:
It is a tale of Thanksgiving proportions. Nicely told in that the pacing was spot on and the humour was definitely there... one must always have humoour when dealing with family at Thanksgiving. Humour helps digest that turnkey and all its fixings.


Favourite Part:
There were quite a few parts I enjoyed. I think the fire alarm as a backup cooking timer was great - it iis like that at our house... if fact when it goes off we all yell "Dinner's Ready!"
The comment about her husband thinking the turkey was just spelled wrong was also a hoot.
I also liked it when she had to use a little creativity and cursing to get thee turnkey into the oven. Been there done that!
"That isn't the way you baste a turkey. I think the foam is poisonous." This had me laughing!


Suggestions:
I see no spelling or grammar concerns.
I would say "Sweet Heart is one word - sweetheart. Though I can understand you may have stretched it out to show his frustration at having been awakened by the fire.


Additional Comments:
I loved the real authentic-ness of this piece. it could have been something that happened at my place!
Giood luck in the contest.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
142
142
Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "October 16, 2018" 
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi ridinghhood-p.boutilier ,

I have the pleasure of reviewing your small poem as it is before mine in the I Write in 2018 forum.

There is a darkness in this poem that reflects the feelings I am having... over another topic - that of the holocaust as depicted in the novel The Storyteller by Jodi Pocoult.
I see the invisible lines of history and the bands of it repeating itself. Things said by a current 'Maliciousness-in-Chief echo that of Hitler, But it is not only that genocide.... that was the killing of innocents, but we all have histories of such atrocities. Canada had its residential schools - a kind of cultural genocide which also hurts my heart. We still owe apologies and need to find a way to help those whose families were damaged by the cruelty they suffered.
I swim to find the light... to see the hope. I, and each of us, can make a choice to be that hope. The future does not have to be so bleak. Love can prevail.
Idiots with too much power can be put in their place.... so that they cannot damage anymore than they already have.

I have no idea if your poem is for a contest, but I appreciate the sentiment. Thank you for sharing. Sorry for my extra rant... but that's where my head went. Poems really can take you places.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
143
143
for entry "haiku 2018 #38" 
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey Tinker ,
I have the honour of reading your haiku as it was posted before my Week #40 entry into the I Write for 2018 contest.
I quite like the snapshot of autumn life you captured. I will admit, I had to look 'prinked' because I was not sure what it meant. It works.
I really liked the image of the 'rain slicked two lane road'. I have a soft spot for 'autumn passage' as well because I like those trails and pathways into crisp, colourful areas. Fall is a favourite time of year for me.
Good luck in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
144
144
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Very interesting story. It kept me intrigued and I had to know what was going to happen. I thought it was well done.

Suggestions:
I saw a few spots:
My arms were full heather, piled so high I could hardly see" - I think it should be full of heather.
"We have a warning that needs interpreted" - I think this should be interpretation.

Good luck in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
145
145
for entry "~ Proverbs 18:18 ~" 
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi ruwth ,
I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your piece as it falls before mine in the I Write In 2018 forum.
It sounds like an interesting contest... though my own knowledge of the bible is only budding. This particular passage you have chosen is interesting - mainly in your interpretation. I would agree that picking lots in winning the contest would not seem far. It works for games of chance and those kind of opportunities.
I do agree with you last bit... "no matter the outcome of a lawsuit or quarrel in which you are involved: God is good and He is large and in charge. We can trust right decisions and wrong decision to be putty in His hands as He works ALL THING together for our good as we are called: According to HIS Purposes! Amen?"
My only suggestion in that is don't put the "?" on the end. A simple "Amen." will do and make it strong and vital.
I also like that you entered your own contest... though you are not eligible, you at least get your say. I think this contest is an interesting idea... one I might consider. Good Luck with reviewing the entries.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
146
146
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating ,

I'm 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson . I am doing this review as part of my commitment to "Poetic Exploration"  and I Write in 2018.

It is important to remember that I am not a professional. I am simply one who wishes to learn and grow in my own poetic voice. To do that, I practice my own creations and review the creations of others so that my knowledge can be furthered. That said, I want you to consider my opinion as merely that... your poem is ultimately your creation. Please feel free to use or disregard my advise as you see fit.

I get to review you poem "Invalid Item"  as it is the one before mine inn the I Write In 2018 forum.

Overall Impression:

This poem gave me a little laugh as I can so relate to my fingers and my computer playing that game of letter mix-up. I does drive me nutty, especially when I go to reread a piece and can't remember what the word was even supposed to be.

Form:

You have been kind enough to tell the reader what the form is - a sonnet. I took a moment to check a website to see if your poem fits to the form. This is a Shakespearean or English sonnet. Fourteen lines with a rhyming pattern - abab cdcd efef gg. Your poem follows that pattern.

Techniques:

Not sure what the technique is but I can see the internal line rhyme of 'moan and groan'.
You employ enjambment which lets the poem flow.

Favourite Lines:

I like the third verse:
"My fingers have a mind of their own,
They type in words that I don't recognize,
And cause the spellchecker to moan and groan"


Suggestions:

I see no spelling or grammar concerns.

Additional Comments:

Good luck in the contest.

Thank you for sharing your poem. I enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading more of your work. Do keep writing.



Sig for Poetic Exploration ** Image ID #1939850 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
147
147
Review of For Rosh Hashana  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi ridinghood,
It's 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson and I have the opportunity to review your wee poem as it is before mine in the I Write for 2018 forum.
I don't know a lot about Jewish holidays, but I liked the language you employed to capture something that I am sure is important to the celebration.
I particularly like the first line - "Take me to the place of my dreams" and the last line "ready to create beauty that enriches the world". Those two lines make me smile as they resonate with my sense of things - dreams can and should always enrich the world.
We are graced with various world religions, just as we are races and ethnic groups. I believe God make us all beautifully and our various experiences make the world a richer place.... so long as we stay open and love one another.
Happy New Year, my friend. Wishing you the best year yet.
Good luck on the contest as well.
Happy writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
148
148
Review of Fixer-Upper  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi {suser:geniphery.
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Gang's Monthly Review Board"  [13+] and I Write 2018.
I have just read your short story "Fixer-Upper" , which I found when ahead of mine in the I Write 2018 forum and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
A little chilled at the martial relationship, but it seems to be well crafted. I can feel the husband's fear of his wife, but I am also grateful he is not so afraid that he does not even try... after that many years of marriage - and always being the one to 'loose' - I would be inclined to think he would give up. But he hasn't and I think that says something about their relationship - in its weird reptilian way. I am thinking they are dragons or a sort. Either way I am intrigued.


Characters:
A husband and wife. You capture their relationship quite nicely and I am right there with him as he fears he may be eaten or not.


Setting:
Like the prompt says they are on a new planet. The husband is trying to convince his wife this new planet could be a great new place for them to live... a kind of fixer-upper.


Plot:
The Sci-Fi makes this plausible. You craft out a tale that colours their relationship and those of the others that will help them.... the ones getting the other 'small' moons.


Favourite Part:
I like that she gives him this and seems pleased despite the fact that he has already promised others the various moons.


Suggestions:
I see no spelling or grammar issues. All seems quite plausible.


Additional Comments:
Good luck in the contest. I am not a big Sci-Fi reader so I opted out of this particular prompt, but you seem to have done it justice.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
149
149
Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "septiembre 4, 2018" 
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi ridinghhood-p.boutilier ,
I have the pleasure of reviewing your extra entry for I Write - I am so glad she is letting us do this. I get to review your piece "Invalid Item" . It is a wee poem of 24 syllables. Now there is a contest... a great challenge.
Your poem is a mix of French and English... and my French is a bit rusty. The only line I can't figure is "de peau de soie' - the rest, I get. I think I count 25 syllables, but I may have pronounced something funky.
I thought it an interesting choice to use both French and English. I sounds like a great party. I raise my glass to you my friend and wish you good luck in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
150
150
Review of September Seemed  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
I love these birthday challenges, unfortunately I didn't get back on line until the 3rd day in and was not up to trying to catch up. But at least I get to review some of the entries... that is just as great.

I am 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson I am not a professional writer, so please take my review as mere suggestions and always remember the work is ultimately yours.

I had the pleasure of reviewing
STATIC
September Seemed  (13+)
A La'Tuin Poem about Loss
#2168168 by ♥tHiNg♥
that was listed before my entry to the I Write contest for week #36.


You have written a La'Truin poem about loss. I am not familiar with this form. I would suggest a little link added to the bottom of your piece in a dropnote fashion - that way those of us that want to learn more can find out about the form. But that is merely my preference and not something you have to do, but I find when I look back at my own poetry I appreciate the reminder for myself as well when I reread my own stuff.
I will have to look at this form before I could really comment too much. I like the third stanza with its imagery.
I am not sure about the rhyming pattern. It seems to be first and last lines rhymed. I like the please and ease. The others are close... internal rhyming is there.
I wish you all the luck in the contest and hope you manage to get all the days done. A poem a day is a serious challenge, especially when the form is given.
I enjoyed reading your piece.
Keep writing!


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