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755 Public Reviews Given
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76
76
Review of I Sing For Myself  
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Pumpkin ,

It's Carly and I have the pleasure of reviewing your wee prose piece. I found it very sweet. It reminded me of my family. My grandmother loved to sing. I never heard her when she was a girl, but I would think she had a lovely voice. Her family was musical. Her father played violin and I am told would go to the school and play for my mother's classmates to learn to square dance. This was a one room school house. I can just imagine.
My grandmother's brothers played as well. One preferred the guitar, the other the violin. The one who played the violin also build his own guitar to play. These great uncles were wonderful people and music thrived in our Northern Ontario community because of them. I still remember the house parties when I was a child.
As my grandmother aged, her voice got 'rusty' but she still sang - she would also apologize for the sound, but I loved it. We still sing some of the songs to warm our hearts aw we remember her.
My mother also sings, but I can hear her voice starting on the 'rusty' path so I expect mine will one day too, but for now I sing because I love it. I often have people comment when they hear me singing at the end of the school day when all the students are gone. I don't even realize I am doing it.
Sing on my friend. If it brings you happiness, Sing ON!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
77
77
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Schnujo's in Georgia Jody,

I hear you are not feeling well so this review comes with well wishes for a speedy recovery. I decided to do a little review to help bolster your healing vibes.

I picked this little nugget of a poem and had to smile. I like the rhyming pattern as I trickled along through it. It gave me a little laugh at the end.

Yeah, water is fabulous, but it doesn't always cut the mustard when all you want is fuzzy bubbles of pop.
I wonder how this poem would change now that they have that 'soda stream' thingy and you can put pop in it.... though I only see Pepsi and I prefer Coke products as well.

Get better soon.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
78
78
In affiliation with Merit Badges for Fun  
Rated: E | (5.0)
There is a lesson in your poem too. I do love that story and you have turned it into a great poem. You capture the essence of the boy and his plight. How he wanted fun, but in the end lost it all.

I like how you ended it - with the wolf talking to the boy and then taking a bite.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
79
79
Review of Breathe  
In affiliation with Merit Badges for Fun  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very lovely Sumojo ! I happen to agree whole heartedly with your thoughts on the words beneath and above. Beneath does feel like a smother. Above does feel freer. You crafted them into a poem that resonates and makes me take a good long breath.

I want to thank you for posting more contest entries into I Write. I have one more to go. I want to make sure I have 52 and not just extra 'weeks' because I did October prep and Nano. Those weeks are great, but the purpose of this contest is to push us to write and post 52 wonderful entries over the course of the year. I don't want to say I won because of bonus weeks. I want to win because I did the work and have some great pieces that represent 2021 and all its ups and downs.
If I can I may post extra just in case others want to finish as well.
Merry Christmas and Happy, safe Holidays.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
80
80
Review of Anniversary  
In affiliation with Merit Badges for Fun  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sumojo ;

This is a lovely anniversary poem. Whether it wins the contest or not your husband should be so pleased that his wife can pen the magical words that make life a blessing. This truly is a gift.

I love the analogy to a tree and its roots. I love the line "holding fast to our patch of the world". I also like the next line - "Steading it against the earth's tremors". I thought that was brilliant.

I wish you both a happy 56th anniversary!!! I have a feeling your tree is rich and bountiful as it moves through the seasons of life. Congratulations.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
81
81
In affiliation with Merit Badges for Fun  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Sumojo ,
Having read your wee tale of a family Christmas I am happy to say I am glad to be celebrating Christmas in the northern hemisphere where we can all go outside to cool off.
I am also grateful that my family get along and we have missed each other over this Covid stuff so we are very much going to appreciating the chaos that is Christmas this year. We may all be able to get together!

As I read your piece, I am saddened to see some people don't experience that wonderfulness that is my family Christmas experience. I should know better. Your story shows a sad fact that maybe thins is a possibility for some families. Still, you would hope they would make more of an effort. Family is family after all and blood is thicker than water and all that... but I am grateful my family gets each other.

While reading your piece, I was wondering why picking the tree was painstakingly done? I would hope it was thoughtfully bought.
I was also more inclined to think it was not 'fraught with danger' but more conducive to migraine proportions.

Still it was an interesting read.... and I hope it is in no way an actual experience. I also wish you a marvelous Christmas!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
82
82
In affiliation with Merit Badges for Fun  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Neva,
I have the pleasure of reviewing your piece as it comes before mine in the I Write in 2021 forum.

Interesting recipes. I love most veggies, but peanuts... not so much. I have a peanut allergy that developed when I was 12. Before that I enjoyed peanut butter on toast. Now I can't stand the smell - which helps me detect if peanuts are in the things I eat. I don't want to deal with anaphylaxis.

I will have to check out this contest. I know I gave it a try earlier in the year, but was not able to accomplish the goal. I wish you luck in your attempt.

Keep writing. I always enjoy what you have to share.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
83
83
Review of Duped  
In affiliation with Merit Badges for Fun  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sumojo ,

It's 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson and I have the pleasure of reviewing your 24 Syllable Poem as it comes before entry in the I Write in 2021 Challenge forum.

I love that I have learned a new word and find your poem makes me smile.

You manage to craft a potent little poem that fits the 24 syllables to a Tee. It reminds me of my friend and her marriage to an idiot. He is such a fraud... a parasite, really. Exactly as your poem says "She feel for it"

Thank you for sharing your work. Good luck in the contest. This is a winner to me!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
84
84
In affiliation with Merit Badges for Fun  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi nfdarby.
My name is Carly and I have the pleasure of reviewing your piece as it comes before mine in the I Write in 2021 forum.
I have just read your short piece " Sunrise Over Autumn" , which I found when beofre mine in the I Write forum and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
I found this piece quite intriguing. I was pulled in. I found the ending was actually cool - disturbing, but cool.


Characters:
Captain Amber
And someone in charge of the colonists - no name was given.


Setting:
From a starship looking down onto the planet of Autumn - not sure about the name, but I was willing to go with it.

Plot:
This piece is short and sweet - the gist is that Captain Amber has gone against the CalVac Union and delivered a group of people who want to relocate to this planet.
The piece is too short to go into details, but the gist is there.


Favourite Part:
I really enjoyed the ending - it was not expected.


Suggestions:

I noted a few spots where I was taken out of the story. Minor bits...

"It was the silence that sent spiders crawling up Amber's spine. " Is there really spiders crawling on her or just the feeling of them? A little clarity here would strengthen the piece.

"She stood stood beside lander and looked around." I don't think you need the second 'stood'.

"Fortunately, the Night Hag was still registered Leon Brigs, and he was serving fifty to life on some Federation prison planet." I believe it should be registered 'to' Leon Brigs. This sentence brings up more questions, but the story does fine without the explanations.

"Typing a command into the lander AI, we waited for a response." 'she' waited.

"began to devour the colonist." I believe colonist needs an 's'.


Additional Comments:
This story is interesting and I enjoyed it. It just needs a few tweaks.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging! Good luck in the contest.

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
85
85
In affiliation with Merit Badges for Fun  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I believe I have the pleasure of reviewing your piece as it comes before mine in the I Write in 2021 forum. I have been waiting for someone to post after me, but after 10 days I started to wonder what was going on... then I checked the threaded view and you are actually the next person so here we are....

I think there are plenty of children that are in this boat... not just because of summer break but because of Covid and learning at home.

It was a fun little poem with good rhyming.
5 fun little quatrains.

Good Luck in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
86
86
Review of Mis-assembled  
In affiliation with Merit Badges for Fun  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi bas ,

I'm 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson and I have the pleasure of reviewing your piece as it comes before mine in the I Write in 2021 challenge.

This intrigues me right out of the gate: "Brothers try to assemble a cradle using the DIY parts."

Best line: “Your daughter will grow up by the time you get this ready”. Loved it.

Some things I noticed:
of the weekend , to - make sure your punctuation comes right after the word, not after a space (this happened a couple of times).

Nirav nodded, keeping down - this should be putting down, instead of keeping down.

“Guys it's been six hours since you guys have been at this.” - I would not use the word guys twice. Possible revision: "Guys, it's been six hours since you two have been at this!"

You could also add to the funny by saying a carpenter would have built six cradles by now - or some other exaggerated number.

Other than those wee bits, I thought your piece was good. Well done.

Keep writing and sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
87
87
Review of Whisperer  
In affiliation with Merit Badges for Fun  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Sumojo

It's Carly. I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your short story as it fell before mine in the I Write in 2021 forum.

I REALLY liked this story. I particularly loved the twist at the end. I did not see that coming. Well done!

Your characterizations were authentic and believable. I could see Clarence and Jimmy talking enjoying some guy time while Peggy was out.

My only issue might be with the title. This is merely my preference. It is a decent title, but it could be stronger. As for suggestions, I have none. I just have an inkling that you could play with it and see what comes up. Still it does hide the fact that Jimmy is a dummy. Whispered Intentions? I do like the Whisper part...

I like the part where Jimmy is 'perched on Clarence's arm rest'. I got the feeling of a devilish character giving him ideas.

I applaud you for this tale of murderous intent and wish you all the best in the contest. It is sure to be a winner.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
88
88
Review of Juneteenth  
In affiliation with Merit Badges for Fun  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Neva,

It's Carly. I have the pleasure of reading your poem as it comes before mine in the I Write forum. I am glad I waited to post my entry. *Bigsmile*

Thank you for teaching me all about Juneteeth. I was curious. Here in Canada it is PRIDE month and Indigenous History month (this is a new addition - about time too) We have our own dark history.
I guess you could say this month is a time to step up and remember and bring light to those historical moments. For you it is the day slavery finally ended, for us it is remembering the lives of those young children - probably killed - in residential school... the ones they said went missing. I think I need to do my own poem about that... something.

But this is about your poem. It see it as a powerful reminder. I see no grammar of spelling issues. I like the quote you include.

My favourite lines are these:
"Slavery had ended,
while battle for justice and equality
had just begun."

It will continue as we bring light to the situation and to the issues of equality that still makes me ill to think we could be so cruel.
Each of us must try to be a little kinder and be compassionate to those just trying to make it in this world. We are all loved in God's eyes.
I wish you the best of luck with this poem. To me, it is a winner.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
89
89
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Sumojo ,

I have the pleasure of reviewing your poem as it falls before mind in the I Write in 2021 Forum. Please remember this is merely my opinion. I am not a professional and your work is ultimately yours.

You have chosen to write your poem in four quatrains. There is a rhyming pattern of ABAB and each stanza hold to the syllable count of 8/6/6/8.

You have chosen strong rhymes. My favourite verse in the last verse. I love the horses - even if they are 'harbingers of doom'.

I found it read well aloud.

Good luck in the contest. I may just have to look into it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
90
90
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating ,
I thought your version of this was quite funny. I gave this a whirl as well. It was fun to write. Something about the prompt brought out rhyming for me too.

Your poor Jack as a cat snack was a great ending.

I enjoyed following Jack around on his adventure. You worked in a few fairy tale bits. That was an interesting idea.

I liked these lines:
"She threw the beans into their garden plot,
Hoping they would grow something, besides diddly-squat."

Good luck in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
91
91
Review of 24 syllable poem  
In affiliation with Merit Badges for Fun  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good morning Sumojo

I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your 24 Syllable poem. You managed to pack a lot of loveliness into those 24 syllables and you made me smile.

I had to look up the word - halcyon - as I had no idea what it meant. My only suggestion would be to add the definition to a notes section at the bottom or your poem for those of us that are somewhat clueless about the word's meaning.

Beyond that I thought it was a bright, happy poem that deserves a win. Thank you for sharing it and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
92
92
Review of Painful Recovery  
In affiliation with Merit Badges for Fun  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi bas ,

This is a good little tale. Very compelling.

I noticed a few little grammar issues - "The police are coming..." and Daze does not need to be captilaized.

I am curious to know more about what happened with this story. I know flash fiction does not give you the space to open the story fullly, but I see potential for something more here if you chose to go for it.

"It's too late" is a great prompt and I think you have done it justice.

Good luck with the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
93
93
Review of Soap Opera  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I really like this story. I like the details of the older woman. I can see the cat smell the fishy breath. I like the description of her apartment.
She is a woman obsessed with this particular Soap Opera. She is so into it seh believes she knows the characters.... and in some weirdness she is drawn into the scene before her. I am willing to suspend my belief and go with her. Good luck in the contest. I think it is a good contest for this piece.

Thanks for sharing it and giving me a chance to review it again.
94
94
Review of Jump of Life  
In affiliation with Merit Badges for Fun  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi bas .
My name is Carly and I am doing this review as part of the I Write 2021 Contest Challenge.

I have just read your flash fiction piece "Jump of Life" , which I found when ahead of mine in the I Write in 202 forum and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
Sort and sweet.

Characters:
Jeet and Michael are the characters. One wants to bungee jump, the other does not. Their choices are made clear.

Setting:
The bungee jump. You make it clear where they are and you can hear the jumpers. A flash fiction piece does not allow you to go into detail, but you give enough to let the reader image in the place.

Plot:
Jeet wants to jump, but is friend Michael does not. Michael supports Jeet's interest, but has no intention of taking the leap himself.

Favourite Part:
Michael scrambling to leave.

Suggestions:
I am like Michael - no way would I ever want to jump like that. But what took me out of the story, and this is purely a personal thing, but the person getting them into the jump is called an instructor. Is that what they are called? I have no idea, but it seemed odd to me.

Additional Comments:
Good luck in the contest.

I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
95
95
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating ,

I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your wee poem as it falls before mine in the I Write in 2021 forum. Please remember this is only my opinion and I am in no way a professional. I am another writer and poet who is learning as I practice.

I like the title. It drew me in. I also like how you incorporated the words to make this little gem.

I stumbled a bit when I read the first stanza. I think it needs an 's' on the word last to make it flow a little more smoothly. Aside from that the rest of the poem flows nicely. I see no other spelling or grammar issues.

I would make one suggestion... and that would be to answer your question... what is friendship in one more stanza. Something like: I think it is....all of this and more.
This would pull the poem into a close and leave the reader satisfied fully.

I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing it. I am glad to see you are doing this challenge this year. Good Luck and Happy New Year, Neva!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
96
96
Review of Fritzy’s life.  
In affiliation with Merit Badges for Fun  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sumojo ;
I am honoured to read your piece as it falls before mine in the I Write in 2021 challenge. Great to see you doing this challenge again. We are both starting out really well - up to week 4!

This was a lovely story about a wonderful doggy friend. I love the name. He does sound like a true character and you captured his likeness beautifully. I was brought to tears when you had to put him down, but I also laughed at his shenanigans. Pets really bring a layer to life that simply cannot be met with any other thing.

I am glad you were able to share this and I look forward to Mitzy's adventures.

Happy New Year my friend!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
97
97
Review of Soap Opera  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is quite a riveting piece. I was held in want to know what happened. You managed to paint a very realistic view of Beryl and her situation. I could see the cat, heard his mew and smell his breath... I could even see the cat's biscuits on the sticky kitchen floor. Good sensory detail.

I am not sure if I feel sorry for Beryl or just pity her, but I do know, you evoked emotion in me... so your piece has punch. I just hope I never turn out like her!

I really enjoyed reading this piece and I wish you all the best in 2021 and in the contest you have entered.

Thanks for sharing and I hope to read more from you over the year.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
98
98
for entry "~ SURPRISE ~" 
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Good morning.
This a lovely memory. I can so relate to both experiences. At both times you wanted to give your mother somethings special. The surprise of your youth was met with anger, the second delight. I think the second surprise is made all the more heartwarming because the first was not. Excellent use of the contrast.
My own mother would not have appreciated the surprise for the same reason as yours.
The fact that the second surprise was away from any home was also much more freeing.
I loved the description of the gelatin dessert - I bet it was yummy.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
99
99
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Mastiff ,

It's 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson and I have the pleasure of reviewing your poem for the 24 Syllables contest as it falls before mine in the I Write forum.

You managed to craft a funky little poem of 20 syllables that not only hits the eclectic mark, but also celebrates WDC's birthday. Now that is fabulous. I can handle being a member so electric that I have wildness sprouting!

Well done. Good luck in the contest. Thanks for sharing your work.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
100
100
for entry "~ Song 1/10 ~" 
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi ruwth ,

It's 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson and I have the pleasure of reviewing your blog entry as it falls before mine in the I Write in 2020 forum.

I enjoyed this entry. I gave me honest incite into you as a person. I applauded your strength in leaving an abusive relationship. I also agree that music can lift you out of the place you are and move you forward out of a down-turned, depressed state to one of hopefulness and peace. I think that is why I tend to listen to Christian popular music. I always find it uplifts me and reminds me I can make it with God on my side guiding me.

I may wallow in the music only so long as I can moisten my eyes, then I find something to build me up.

I really enjoyed listening to the song. I was born in 1967, but I lived in a small town where I got to listen to the older music of my parents and my babysitter's teenagers. I memorized songs as a kid - Benny and the Jets and One Tin Soldier were my first memorized songs.

In your list, Honey is the only one I am unsure of, but I probably would know it if I heard it. Good song choices. I may just have to take a peak at some of you other blog entries to listen to then and hear your commentary.

Happy writing and reviewing. Stay safe and healthy. God Bless.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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