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755 Public Reviews Given
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Public Reviews
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26
26
Review of Goofing Off  
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating <

It's Carly. I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your piece as it came before mine in the I Write in 2024 forum. Please remember this review is only my opinion and I am only a fellow reader and writer here at WDC. Take what you can use, discard anything that doesn't work for you.

I like the idea of a Goofing Off day. I tend to take more of those than I should... many a day starts out with productive thoughts and ambitions, but as the day progresses and I hit a few hiccups I tend to abandon the things I am supposed to do and Goof Off.

I really like the first three stanzas. They resonate with me and the reader learns something in the process - how to lower their blood pressure and heart rate.

The last verse repeats "Goofing Off" and I found there could be something more there in the third line. Maybe a further thing to do...not sure what exactly, but I am thinking to get rid of the extra goofing off in that line.... just my opinion. Maybe something like 'refuse to check our emails'

I know there is a rhyming pattern. It changes in each verse.

The poem is fun and quirky. I hope you were goofing off as you wrote it. *Bigsmile*

Good luck in the contest. I look forward to reading more of your work at the year progresses.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Siri and Alexa  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is definitely a cute piece. It had me thinking about a woman on Instagram that does the voices of various tech things. I can't remember her name but she takes on the personality of each of the things and I find it quite funny.

This piece was like that... and I am a Samsung person myself.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Malachi  
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Sumojo ,

It's Carly and I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your scary wee piece that came before mine in the I Write in 2024 forum.

The 666 words snt tremors up my spine... was that part of the contest?

I think you did an excellent job painting the picture of this wee Leprechaun and his nasty intents. I loved the description of him. I really liked how you introduced him at the beginning enjoying the night - prancing through the trees.

He watches the villagers from his nightly perch. His need to harm them is like an itch that needs scratching. I get that sensation as I read this.

I enjoyed this sinister tale... I believe I will take care when I go out into the forest the next time...

My only qualm was with the last line: "Beneath the veil of night, a lithe figure slipped noiselessly into the heart of the forest, evading any pursuit." I was not sure if it pertained to Malachi or something else as he seemed to already be sung back in his home. That line was either not needed or could have been put before the last paragraph it was about Malachi... or was it something else out there in the forest?

I wish you luck in the contest and look forward to reading more of your work as the year unfolds. Have a great week and happy writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Music Notes  
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Amethyst Angel🍂🧡 ,
I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your piece as it comes before mine in the I Write in 2024 forum.

I love the Soundtrack of Your Life Challenge. I completely forgot about it this year and by the time I found it the month was mostly over. So instead of writing my own blogs for the challenge I will take some time to read and listen to other people who took up the gauntlet to do it. Have you made it all the way through?

This song took a bit to get into me. It's not my usual kind of thing, but it had a way of sinking in to my musical memory with its darkness.

I enjoyed listening to the song. I watched both videos. I preferred the one with the lyrics. I was not a fan of the maggots. Creepy, yucky things. I am still shuddering. I liked the way the lyrics were presented in the video and the cartoon version softened the brutalness of the song for me.

It is a darker song.

I enjoyed your write up. I really enjoyed how you told me about your relationship to this song - giving me a glimpse into the bands dynamic - the breakup and subsequent makeup of the lead singer and his significant other. That went a long way to explaining a lot of the pain and angst in the song.

I liked how you included the positive and negative sides in your review. That was very cool.

I also liked how this song inspired you to write something and include the lyrics in the opening of your story. I may just have to go check that out. It sounds rather intriguing and I want to see what you did with it.

I'm also curious what other songs you included in your Soundtrack this year. I may have to have further listening sessions.

Thanks for sharing your music and a glimpse into your life.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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30
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Sum1's At Home! ,
It's 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson and I have the pleasure of reading an reviewing your short piece written for the Writer's Cramp. It falls before my entry to the I Write in 2024 forum.

I am not well versed in science fiction so remember this is only my opinion. Take what you will and leave what doesn't work for you.

I found the concept very intriguing. Two aliens finding an odd thing in space and being required to turn it in to the leaders. Their curiousity has them studying it and in turn getting themselves through in shackles.

I did find a few spots that pulled me out of the story.

"It look like it was a shiny color at one time, but now it’s dull as can be.” I think look should be looked.

"on life" would read as a new start 'in life' to me.

"mydself" should probably be myself.

I was also not sure of "most Aineat's" and though it should be Aineateans. I know you use this form further down in the piece and I liked it that way better.

Overall, I would say you met the parameters of the contest prompt. I wasn't sure if you have to use the exact wording or just the premise of the prompt. Either way, I think you did an admirable job of crafting your tale.

Good luck in the contest. I look forward to reading more of your work.





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of She'll Be Back  
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi 🪽intuey🕊️ ,

I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your poem as it came before mine in the I Write in 2024 forum.

I love poems that tell a story and I am also drawn to troubled relationships. The chill of the poem is there even in the beginning... the guy is clearly bad to the bone.

The poem follows a AABB rhyming pattern. The words for rhyming are well chosen. They pull the reader into the story and paint a picture of the man as a ghastly ghoul capable of killing an innocent.

There are four phrases that are bolded and I am assuming they are part of the contest requirements for the Writer's Cramp. Such a great contest. You do an excellent job of working those phrases into your poem. You also managed to use the dark as one of your genres.

I would see this as a winning entry. I realize you did not win the contest. Still, I think it is excellent.

I look forward to reading more of your work as the year progresses. I do so enjoy the I Write in 2024 contest challenge. Good luck with all your future writings.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Oh Cupid My Cupid  
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Twilight Sparkle ;

Cute handle by the way! I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your poem Oh Cupid, My Cupid as it came before mine in the I Write in 2024 forum.

It made me think of Captain, My Captain. I like the fun of it. The line - "My voice like curdled milk did sing!" Not sure what that would sound like exactly, but it painted the image of something very off-putting and I had to laugh.

I continued to enjoy your humourous verses - chuckling as I read. The poor bugger got kicked for expressing her ardour and Cupid had on a blindfold. Priceless.

Good luck in the contest. I do hope you win as I felt it was a lovely piece.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Nature or Nurture  
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well articulated and written Neva.

I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your piece for the Share Your Faith contest as it comes before mine in the I Write in 2024 forum. I entered this one as well because I like the concept of Nurture and Nature. I really liked your explanation of the duality of human beings.

This is something you have done some thing on over the years and I believe you have a solid faith and share it well.

I agree that education is very important. I also find intentional choices to be important in growing that knowledge over a lifetime. One must make the choice to enrich both the soul's and body's learning here on earth. Lessons are learned on the world stage. We are exposed to a cornucopia of delights and we must choose the best things to develop our body, mind and soul.

Nurturing the right environment helps and I believe other people can be the hands and feet of God as they help the younger generation find their way in the world. We all want to thrive, but not everyone is born into privilege -finding guides to help nurture us is vital for those souls born in less than happy situations.

I am grateful for you, Neva. Have a wonderful new year. I look forward to reading more of your work throughout the year.







*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Contest Entries  
for entry "I'm thankful for" 
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Angelica- Black Beauty ;
I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your poem as it falls before mine in the Twenty-Three in Eleven I Write forum.

I did this contest too and made sure I added the word count to NaNoWriMo!

Since I am Canadian and my Thanksgiving in past, I focused on gratitude as it is the best part of Thanksgiving... although the food and family are very close.

I enjoyed your poem. I like the repetition of 'I'm thankful for' in the first 3 stanzas. I like the appreciation of difference as I would agree that it makes the world a far more interesting place - sameness is flat. Diversity is vibrant and a vibrant world is intriguing.

I also agree that we must always be thankful and practice gratitude in the small and big things. Appreciating what we have is a way to count blessings. It reminds us that even when things are dark, we still have shimmers of light.

Good luck in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Laundry Blues  
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Sumojo ;
I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your poem as it comes before mine in the Twenty-three in Eleven forum.

I can feel your frustration as I read this poem. Nasty things left in the pockets of clothing. My mother used to hate it when I would collect Iron Ore pellets and leave then in the pockets. Those dang suckers could break the washing machine if you weren't careful. At six and seven I didn't really get that, but I tried to remember.

The piece follows an ABAB pattern and all but one verse follows that pattern. The third stanza has cure and work.... although lurk rhymes with work. That verse was a bump for me, but other than that I though it was a rather good attempt for your laundry blues. Love that title.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of A Step Ahead  
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Jeff masquerading as Deadpool ;

I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your flash fiction piece as I posted my entry after yours in the Twenty Three in Eleven forum.

I had to chuckle as I read this. I had just entered the same contest and after reading this... you are surely the winner.

I was immediately pulled into the story and loved that Madisyn was able to work things so well for herself. She is not someone I would want to cross. As an ally, she would formidable.

Well done. I tip my hat to you. Such a great story in only 300 words.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Pumpkin's Story  
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sum1's At Home! ;

I had the pleasure of reading and reviewing your non-fiction piece about your lovely dog, Pumpkin.

Your dog had quite the life and quite the traveling by the sounds of things. It is hard to lose a member or your family - especially the animal ones. It sounds like you had a lot of health concerns to overcome and I am so happy you persisted and got her the help she needed.

I would have loved to hear more about some of the fun things you did with her over your time together. Animals bring us many stories.

Thank you for sharing your memories and good luck in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Paul ;

I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your piece as I hit the Read & Review button to generate a random piece to be reviewed. Since it is the birthday month I am taking advantage of the extra gift points and the chance to get in more reviews this month.

One Suggestion I can make - because I have gotten the same advise is to choose the best genres to best categorize an item to make it easier for readers/reviewers to find. For instance, I have often been chastised for choosing "Contest entry" and "Other". It is not a category people prioritize in searches. Choosing more appropriate genres will help your writing get seen. Try something from the dropdown menu that hits with your piece. "Short story" works, but you have two other chances to drag audience to your piece. Apparently this is a thing.

You do well to work in wheel and rock, but hat is a little awkward. I'd suggest having the girl throw her hat in frustration at the beginning. That way you work in the word hat a bit more seamlessly and let the reader know we have a female protagonist.

This also appears to be a contest that has a word count limit. I would suggest including the word count at the bottom or top of your piece. Most contests ask that you include this. I found it ended too soon, but then word count could have been a factor.

Another suggestion is this awkward:
"want to now that we’re this far. Keep telling me.” I think this should be know.

Thanks for sharing. Happy writing. Hope you're enjoying the birthday events and activities this week.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Resurrection '04  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Kåre Enga in Montana ;

I have the chance to read and review your poem as I took a chance on Read & Review for a whopping deluge of gift points. I think it's a birthday celebration thing as each one I have done has garnered me with a good mittful of gift points.

I can see why your poem would not be published in any official brochures for the University of Kansas. *Bigsmile* Though it did give me a wee laugh. The more I read it the more tantalizing it is.

I am also doing this review as part of the Birthday Review Challenge and I am required to come up with at least one suggestion for your piece. I find this difficult to do as the piece is quite good, despite its sexual innuendo.

I don't see any spelling issues. The most I could suggest is to maybe center the poem and see if that form may push your poem further.... yikes.

It really must be quite the sight... and I dare say, I will look at another bell tower without the memory of this poem tickling the back of my mind. Not sure if I should thank you for that or not.

Either way, thanks for sharing. Enjoy the birthday week.





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Beholden ;

I was seeking a blue or yellow case to review and I took my chances with Read & Review. Your poem popped up.

Please remember that these comments and suggestions are just that. Your work is your own. It is perfectly okay to disregard my opinions if you do not agree.

I love the picture you have attached. Cats are a favourite of mine. We recently adopted a five year old boy. He's been with us only two months and it feels like he has always been a part of our wee family.

I really like this. I can feel the emotion and shifted equilibrium that comes in the moments of first waking and not immediately recognizing your space. I wonder if this is how a person with mild dementia faces their day? My mother has been diagnosed with mental confusion just recently so this poem resonates with that.

Thank you so much for sharing your words.

I am doing the Birthday Review challenge so I need to find something to suggest. Hard to do when everything seems in order.

One suggestion I could make is more for aesthetic appeal - to center it to give it focus.

My favourite lines:
"but I can’t help but feel
that it’s a game,
a practical joke
played by sleep
on a mind befuddled by time."

Our minds love to play tricks on us. It's just another torment of aging.

I wish you the best of the week and hope you take part in as many Birthday events as you can manage. Maybe a little writing will help strengthen that silly mind and keep it occupied with more interesting things.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Shadowbrook  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi AJblurryface ;
Welcome to Writing.com or WDC as many of call it. I see you joined only a couple of days ago. Hope your partaking in some of the many Birthday celebrations here on the site. I found the site overwhelming when I first began in March 2013. It wasn't until the Birthday week, this very week, that I really dove in and enjoyed myself. I've been here ever since.

Part of the birthday celebrations is to review a newbie - someone here within the first 6 months - and I picked you. I started one of your poems... and I will go back to it after this one.

I was intrigued by the title and the premise of your idea. There is something there, but I am sensing your block has stumped you up. Not to worry that happens to all of us. I find writing through it tends to get things going again.

One book that I find helpful is Alan Watt's the 90-day novel. Now I certainly don't plan on keeping to the 90 days, but I have appreciated the questions that have helped me unlock my story. I realize this is a short story and not a novel, but sometimes these kind of questions can break open a block.

Another thing I find is to TELL yourself the story. Don't worry about the showing part yet, just tell yourself the story and stay open to possibilities.

Consider characters. Who lives in this village? Who is this Protagonist that has come to knock on your brain? Who or what are his or her Antagonists?

Do some world building. What is Shadowbrook really like? Create it for yourself. You need to know what the place it like before you can show it to your readers. Tell yourself about it and HAVE FUN.

Again, welcome to WDC. Make sure to enjoy yourself here. Everyone is helpful and willing to help. Get involved and see where it takes you.

I have a feeling things will come together for you... if not now then sometime in the future. Stay open to the possibility. There is no stress on you to perform. Nobody needs to see your work in progress and it is better if they don't. Story has more power if you keep the original sparks contained within your heart. When you are ready, then share.

I look forward to reading more.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Naomi ;

Good morning. I popped in to Read & Review and your documentary piece came up. So here I am. I am making a few suggestions. Please keep in mind this is my opinion and the piece is ultimately yours.

I love the words written on your brother's frame. I appreciate the all caps.
One Suggestion would be to center it so that it stands out even more.

Another Suggestion would be to space out your paragraphs to give more white space and make it easier to read. There are a few spots where your sentence breaks and drops to the line below. It would be smoother to eliminate those spots. I noticed three times where that happened.

My third suggestion would be to check out your punctuation. I noticed a few times where commas were placed in spots not really needed. This sentence could be made smoother by breaking it up into two sentences.
"This
youngest brother graduated as a Teacher, passed the National Exam as the. Country's Topnocher."

Something like this:
This youngest brother graduated as a Teacher. He passed the National Exam as the Country's Topnocher.

I've never heard of a 'topnotcher' before, but I am guessing he excelled and was ranked among the top ten... or higher.

To be a bit more personal, I would love to know your brother's name instead of simply saying 'my youngest brother'. I'd also be curious to know the names of your other brothers.

Thank you for writing and sharing this. You are a proud sister. You are fabulous too, don't forget that. I was getting vibes of 'boys are important, girls aren't', but then I tend to be more sensitive to that kind of thing.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Skin of his teeth  
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Sumojo ,

I had the pleasure of reading and reviewing your piece for the No Dialogue contest as it came before mine in the Twenty-three in Eleven Forum.

I felt the emotion of this piece. I loved the ending with the dog... though I worried where the dog was during the party...

This line could benefit from some edits... if you still have time before the contest closes:
"The last patrol finally car left the street, giving a farewell whoop as it rounded the corner."

I think you did a great job doing this without dialogue. Good luck in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Jeff masquerading as Deadpool ;

It's 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson and I had the pleasure of reading and reviewing your personal essay on decluttering - Inspired by Hoarders. I am in need of a serious declutter as well, though I am not hoarders level yet either, I still want to be conscious of my choices.

Another show that is a bit more recent is The Swedish Are of Death Cleaning. Sounds a little extreme, but when you think about the premise... do you want to leave all this junk for your relatives to clear out, it makes sense to take the time to reassess and shift into declutter mode.

Thank you for sharing this piece and getting me thinking it's time to sift through my rubble. I would have to have a pile of books topple over on me while I sleep. I do have far too many books.

Happy decluttering.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Neva,
I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your poem. I am not familiar with your particular brand of spiritual practice, but like most it seems to focus on LOVE. You do it justice with your lovely crafted words.

I read it over several times to let the verses sink in. I could visualize the person experiencing their moment of spiritual connectedness. Fine work, woven together well.

Thank you for sharing it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Neva,
It's Carly and I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your poem as it comes before mine in the I Write Challenge Twenty Three in Eleven.

I really like this poem. Simple, yet powerful. Those are the best kind.

I like the repetition of the word moment and when I looked at all the last words other than moment I could see the importance of things - God, meditation, gratitude, humanity & friends and family.

Well done. Thank you so much for sharing this little gem.

I hope your world is going better these days. My prayers are still with you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of My hook  
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sox and Sandals ,

I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your... hook as it comes before my entry to the I Write - Twenty Three in Eleven Challenge.

Already I have more words than your hook. When I first read your entry, I went to see what the contest expected and realized the nature of the contest. That being said, your entry is strong and gives the reader many questions that draw them in. Since that is the ultimate goal of the contest, I have to say you nailed it. Good luck in the contest and happy May!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Danger  
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sox and Sandals ,

I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your piece of flash fiction as it falls before mine in the Twenty-Two in Eleven I Write challenge.

This is a very intriguing bit of story... no doubt it could be so much more that simply a moment of flash fiction. I want to know more... this was a taste of something so much more.

I enjoyed the whispered words between Layla and Esa. Getting ready for the dinner was vivid enough to see.

Good luck in the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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for entry "The Haunting" 
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Tinker ,

I'm 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson and I have the pleasure of reading and reviewing your poem as it comes before mine in the Twenty-three in Eleven (I Write) forum.

I can so relate to this poem's message. Words can haunt you. You can stew over what you said and how you said it forever it seems and some things seem to hold on for a long time and seem like a haunting. I think you captured that essence very well.

I had a moment of confusion, but then I saw the.... (dots) and realized that made perfect sense. My only suggestion is to increase the size of the poem to 4 or 4.5 so those dots can be seen.

Other that that I think you rocked this. Good luck with the contest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Renewal  
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sumojo ,

It's 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson and I have the pleasure of reviewing your poem "Renewal"  as it comes before mine in the "Twenty-three in Eleven "  forum.

It is important to remember that I am not a professional. I am simply one who wishes to learn and grow in my own poetic voice. To do that, I practice my own creations and review the creations of others so that my knowledge can be furthered. That said, I want you to consider my opinion as merely that... your poem is ultimately your creation. Please feel free to use or disregard my advice as you see fit.


Overall Impression:

You have decided on a sonnet. My hats off to you. I find attempting a structured poem far more difficult than going free verse, but I see it is part of the prompt. I like your topic and the poem is lovely, but I would be more inclined to say renewal is early spring, not winter's end, but then this is preference and you may be lucky enough to live in an area where spring is pushing in on the end of winter... Right now, I am living in an area still buried in a good foot of snow. Come on Spring! This poem was a nice reminder of what is to come.

Form:

A sonnet. I have to look up the link for this....
The rhyming pattern follows and your word choices are well done. I can could 10 syllables per like... so I am thinking iambic pentameter has been achieved.

Favourite Lines:

I like the last couplet as it resonates with me and I so want the spring to come.

Suggestions:

I see no spelling of grammar issues.

Additional Comments:

I had to look up the word 'callow' and I like it, thanks for a new word.

Thank you for sharing your poem. I enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading more of your work. Do keep writing.



Sig for Poetic Exploration


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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