I enjoyed this piece! I love poetry that presents a road well traveled with no regrets. Wonder if you have some of your adventures enscribed yet. Need to go look! I'm using this in this week's Poetry newsletter. ~fyn
There's a lot to like in this piece, but I do have some suggestions.I would suggest breaking up some of the lines and making it three verses so the part in the middle works better (when it isn't rhyming)
Also, the line needs a missing word or three-->Slowing it down for there’s things that the can be quickly passed,
If 'there's things' as several, then it would not be 'there's' <--there is but 'there are.'
Loved this--it made me smile! Traveled roughly the same number of miles. Puts a new spin (ahem!) on the idea! I'm using this in this week's Fort Authors Newsletter. ~fyn
Good article. I'd classify it as such rather than as a short story tho. Me, I was brought up to believe in that noble knight. They kept falling on their swords, losing their horse or failed their chivalry courses!! I did end up with my knight eventually though. His armor is battered and bent. He's rusty around the edges. But he treats me like gold, has a heart that wants to save everyone and is the reason I can believe in happily ever afters!
I'm using this in this week's For Authors Newsletter! ~fyn
Been there, done that. Then I raised a ruckus and least some of 'em come home for Christmas. Course, my youngest is forever young (like her mom!!!) so we have all the olden magic again! Using this in this week's Poetry Newsletter! ~fyn
Initial thought---won't go where? Away--in general? Hell, no. The Corps go where they are needed. Please fill me in on what I'm missing here. If I am, (and I'm an Army veteran and a boomer) others will be too.
From the perspective of the writing, didn't see any errors etc. and it is well written.
Excellent short story full of lines like: No birds sang for him this dark morning, no clouds strolled through the sky, and no hope built itself a fire in his heart.
I only wish you'd given the reason for the following: Ikaw ang puso ko.
Did I miss something??
Using this in this week's For Authors Newsletter. ~fyn
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