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1,432 Public Reviews Given
1,595 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1467580 Unavailable **

Greetings, Cappucine ~

First, should the title be Pearl of Wisdom or Pearls of Wisdom? There seems to be numerous pearls here.

Learn to trust, even a little bit, belly intelligent. >>> I'm not sure what "belly intelligent" is. If this means trust your "gut instinct", shouldn't it be "belly intelligence"?

Wet and wild. Sparkling coloured flower
open seven days, red carpet,
bliss is not too dear. No fear.
>>>>> This stanza seems too disjointed to me. Should there be a comma after flower? Otherwise it reads "...Sparkling coloured flower
open seven days, red carpet," or flower open. Should flowers be plural? One flower cannot make a red carpet by itself.

The last stanza breaks format by having 4 lines instead of 3 as the previous two stanzas.

You have done well creating a poem using only "phrases ripped out of the Woman's Weekly".
I guess some "roughness" in the read is to be expected. Therefore, I am rating this a 4.5 in spite of my comments above.

Cheers!

Harry
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227
Review of The Beast  
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
** Image ID #1467580 Unavailable **

Greetings, Loti ~

Overall, this is well done. You told a good story using only dialogue. I could see two children on Halloween night walking through the scary woods.

The one place I thought you could have been stronger is at the end where Sammy enters the cabin and turns the light on. If Peter is waiting to scare her wearing a beast mask, I think he'd have growled loudly at her first sight of him instead of his saying "Surprise".

Cheers!

Harry
228
228
Review of The Teddy Bear  
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1467580 Unavailable **

Greetings, Jewel ~

You worked all the required items into this write rather well and managed to tell a small story as well.

For such a short piece, I found quite a number of items for your consideration:

A young woman sat in her lonely apartment(,) her only companion a stuffed

The next day he (had) said he

She hated her birthday(;)[,] it had brought nothing

help ease her mother(')s pain.

Sighing, she blew out the candle and(,)pulling off the wrapper, ate a small piece (of cupcake). >>> This reads as though she ate a small piece of the wrapper.

in her mouth(,) and, wrinkling

“Well(,) sitting here isn’t going to solve anything(.)[,] I need to

to her feet(,) and(,) putting the bear back on the bed(,) she grabbed

red caught her eye(,) and she walked up

she needed to call him(;)[,] it had been

look at the wagon(,) she continued

Cheers!

Harry
229
229
Review of Ariadne  
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1467580 Unavailable **

Greetings, LegerdeSpecter ~

I liked the poem's content.

I have a few suggestions for your consideration:

I don't think you need a comma after these lines:
As I touch my toe to the water,
I wonder with trepidation,
A voyage of deep emotion,
Will it be a safe travel,
or will I be your Ariadne,
>>>>>> Removing these commas will aid the flow of the poem.

neither of which can claim. >>> ?? This left me confused. Neither can claim what? I know you want an end word so that all three stanzas' end words will rhyme, but 'claim' is confusing to me.

on the shore calling your name(?)[.]

Cheers!

Harry
230
230
Review of Fiery Red Hair  
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1467580 Unavailable **

Greetings, Daizy ~

Wow! I loved this. What a great story, what great use of repetition in telling the story, what great imagery used! I think this is wonderful as is. I have no suggestions for improving it. Great piece of writing.

Cheers!

Harry
231
231
Review of Mental Circus  
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1467580 Unavailable **

Greetings, WhoMe ~

I loved the content of the poem. The punctuation at present is mystifying in purpose.
The first two stanzas are not complete sentences, yet you have three periods, whereas you have no period in the last stanza. Since the lines are so short and the stanzas are phrases and not sentences, maybe it would be better to not use periods at all.

Cheers!

Harry
232
232
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1467580 Unavailable **

Greetings, Sherri ~

I find neither you nor your poem the least bit scary! *Smile* I loved the content of the poem.
I do have a few suggestions for you to consider:

brings happiness[,] >>>> no comma needed here
and makes

love is never demanding[;](, is) treasured in every way.
(It w)[W]hispers sweet love songs in the wind[,]
>>>>> Needs a subject (It) to make into a complete sentence.

a feeling that has only grew. ???? has grew ? has grown. I know you wanted to rhyme 'grew' with 'you' in line two, but maybe this would work better:
line 2 = Tell me that you love me; my heart belongs to you (alone).
line 4 = a feeling that has only grown.

Overall, this is a very nice poem.

Cheers!

Harry
233
233
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1467580 Unavailable **

Greetings, Dutch Hill Girl ~

This was a technically well written piece; I have no suggestions for changes. The content was also good. I was left wondering about the age of the boy and his sister. He seems much too clever to think mall Santas are fakes and yet still believe in a real Santa. Other than that, I enjoyed this piece. Well done!

Cheers!

Harry
234
234
Review of Thoughts on life  
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1467580 Unavailable **

Greetings, Garnet ~

Overall, a nicely written piece that is quite reflective and thought-provoking. I like the content.

I have a few items for you to consider:

Pining for things that are not to be[.](--)
These are the things that destroy a life(,)

To know oneself and one's destiny, the part one is to play - is divine. >>> This line's length is too long compared to lines in the first stanza.
It allows for growth[,](;)it allows for life.

Effort is purposeful, no longer wasted(.)[--]
When you find your melody(,) the [U](u)niverse can sing along and
Bring you to that which is necessary[.]

your nature(,)[ --]you will flounder

We work[,](;) we strive.
We write[,](;) we dream.

Cheers!

Harry
235
235
Review of Silent Seduction  
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1467580 Unavailable **

Greetings, Web~Witch ~

I love your use of alliteration to full effect in this poem. Nicely done! This is well done overall, capturing the moment in excellent fashion.

A few spacing issues: Whirling,()spiraling, spa-pool & caught in mid-blush[]. &
my tummy[]flutters.

Tantalizing thoughts titillate(,)[;] tickling my mind(,)[;] teasing my heart.

silver crown and chain gleam, >>>> He is wearing a crown?

I liked this.

Cheers!

Harry
236
236
Review of Music of Love  
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
** Image ID #1467580 Unavailable **

Greetings, Nikola ~

Very nicely written! This flows well and captures the 'music' of love quite well.

A few suggestions for your consideration:

[A](a) slow, sensual >>>> part of a sentence, no need to capitalize a.

Touching, caressing. >>> The only line not part of a sentence at present.
Beating hearts
quicken.
Maybe make this:
Touching, caressing(,)[.]
(our) [B](b)eating hearts
quicken.

Overall, an excellent piece.

Cheers!

Harry
237
237
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1467580 Unavailable **

Greetings, SummerMistress ~

Is the Isis here the Egyptian God of Fertility Isis? I remain a bit confused to whom your Divine Mother Isis is referring. This acrostic poem needs more punctuation to help with the reading. Now you have only one comma (Entrances my entire being,). Why not use complete punctuation throughout? For instance,

My heart and mind
Overrun each other,
Telling me many things at once.
Her voice
Entrances my entire being,
Rapt in my hearing.

OR

My heart and mind
Overrun each other.
Telling me many things at once,
Her voice
Entrances my entire being,
Rapt in my hearing.

Punctuation will tell the reader how you intended it to be read.

Deep in my heart
I hear a calling.
Voice unfamiliar,
I wonder what or who.
Never in my dreams an
Emotional awakening as this >>>> These last two lines are not a complete sentence or thought. The remainder of the poem forms complete sentences throughout.

Overall, you have done a good job with this acrostic poem. However, some slight reworking would improve it.

Cheers!

Harry
238
238
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
** Image ID #1467580 Unavailable **

Greetings, MandiK ~

This story was entertaining and overall well-written. I identified with this situation since I have the same problem with a neighbor's cat killing birds at my feeders. Blasted cats!

I did find a few items for you to consider:

is extremely bright(,) and this was becoming

between my daughter and (me)[I ](ha, ha!)(,) my nine(-)year(-)old son was

the poor(,) tormented soul

This tiny(,) petrified bunny

Within an arm(')s length

this poor(,) little one

Unfortunately(,) they were closed

Barnes & Noble. Maybe they could help. >>>> Need space between paragraphs OR continue on this same line<<<<
I called and spoke with one of the volunteers

Cheers!

Harry
239
239
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
** Image ID #1467580 Unavailable **

Greetings, Robin ~

Overall, this piece is technically well-written. Oddly enough, the only place I had any problem was the very first sentence:

I am l[a]ying flat against the earthy grass. >>>> lying, not laying. Also, "earthy grass". What other kind of grass does one encounter besides "earthy"?

I remained unsure just how the other person in this story helped you shine, which was the object of the story. This was confusing for me. Otherwise, you describe the scene well.

Cheers!

Harry
240
240
Review of Dear God  
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1467580 Unavailable **

Greetings, Wyn ~

This is a heartfelt prayer, with good content. I have some suggestions that I 'd like you to consider:

Are you out there[;](,)
listening, hearing,
receiving [of ] my prayer?
(space)
Please give me some sign[,](;)
tell me that you care.
Let me know the hope I hold,
my faith is not in vain[,](.)
Let me see inside my heart[,]
an ending to this pain.
(space)
In a world so filled with dark,
anger and despair,
[J](j)ust a sign to prove my faith[,]
and (to) show me that you're there. >>> This is not a complete sentence. Maybe:

In a world so filled with dark,
anger and despair,
I'd welcome a sign to prove my faith[,]
and (to) show me that you're there.

Do with my suggestions what you choose. *Smile*

Cheers!

Harry
241
241
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1467580 Unavailable **

Greetings, JudyB ~

Overall, I found this letter to be well-written. The capitalization used in the title confused me, however. "A Letter to my Soul From my Mind" -- Why capitalize From but not my?

The punctuation in this sentence is incorrect at present: "You and I go through the exact same experiences in this life, yet you possess the ability to remain calm and trusting whereas I sometimes lose sight of my faith and feel helpless."
>>>> My suggestion:
You and I go through the exact same experiences in this life[, y](. Y)et you possess the ability to remain calm and trusting(,) whereas I sometimes lose sight of my faith and feel helpless.

I enjoyed reading this creative piece.

Cheers!

Harry
242
242
Review of Our Beginning  
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1467578 Unavailable **

Greetings, WhoMe ~

I really like this. However, the punctuation and some constructions were confusing to me.

As self truths begin to arise(,)
set free from ties that bind,
all self(-)made with no surprise. >>>> Not a complete sentence or thought.

Nothing to stand in my way(.)

A voice, calling out my name.
His sound (is) famil(i)ar and calming.
OR
A voice, calling out my name[.](,)
[H](h)is sound famil(i)ar and calming.

I found my true calling,
right here by his side[,](.)
[l](L)iving out our fairy tale,
into the sunset we ride.

Cheers!

Harry
243
243
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1467578 Unavailable **

Greetings, Jyo ~

This poem cries out for proper punctuation. The first two stanzas are both run-on sentences. The third stanza needs a comma after line 2, and still line three would be confusing.

"a symphony that enacts" Enacts what? Enacts means to pass a law, bill, etc or to represent in a play. What does it mean here? It appears to be there just for the rhyme.

Stanza four was also confusing:

I'm a life that needs to thrive
comfort, care and attention = awkward construction to achieve rhyme (thrive/alive)
Do you know that I'm alive?

I get your content here. With a bit of reworking, this poem could say it much better.

Cheers!

Harry
244
244
Review of She Walks  
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
** Image ID #1467578 Unavailable **

Greetings, Nikola ~

This is a very well-written poem filled with great imagery. You tell the story of a ghost and why she haunts this house quite well. I enjoyed the read. Good title, by the way.

I did note a couple of items for your attention:

clad in her high-necked,
floor(-)length dress--

The grand house(,)
built in the 1800's,
was a wedding gift

Cheers!

Harry
245
245
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
** Image ID #1467578 Unavailable **

Greetings, Author00 ~

The writing is technically of poor quality, as it is filled with numerous errors:

on a hill (overlooking) the village

building was a huge(,) [g](G)othic structure

instead of twenty(-)first century USA.

spirit for others(,) but not so

the place(,) and it seemed to

If they looked closely (or maybe it was just their imagination)(,)they would swear

own church building(,) but something had always

a building built(,) but an 'accident' occurred

his cathedral(,)and he had hand-picked

had disappeared(,) and no one seemed

>>>>>> I am only six paragraphs into this first chapter and already have found ten changes to suggest making. This piece needs to be edited much more carefully. I am not going to continue editing it, but you should have editing performed prior to publication.
(The remainder of these chapters is also filled with errors.)

The premise of the first chapter is highly unlikely. Is this supposed to be a fantasy, horror, or just what genre?

There are also too many cliches used.
‘the (handwriting) on the wall’; on him like two ducks on a June bug.

the other kicked him repeatedly (faster than you could count) in the groin. The man jumped up and ran >>>>> If kicked repeatedly in the groin, the man would be rolling around on the ground, not running away.

These first two chapters have much wrong with them. One can only hope the other 49 chapters are better.

If you believe in your story, then you need to do a serious job of rewriting and improving. It might be quite rewarding for you in the end.

Cheers!

Harry
246
246
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1467578 Unavailable **

Greetings, Sophy ~

I'd say you met the prompt properly to write a one long sentence "stream of consciousness" type of poem. You say you don't intend to add additional punctuation to it, but why not? You already have used commas; so why not improve the reading with more well-placed commas?

of the ficus tree outside the bedroom window(,)

his wife of fifty-three years(,)
his daughters and a granddaughter(,)
his faithful Siamese cat who slept at his feet(,)

female energy keeping vigil(,)

To me, these commas would improve this poem and not detract from it.

As to the content of the poem, I found the poem quite poignant. I think the writing is excellent for this style poem.

Cheers!

Harry
247
247
Review of Valentine  
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
** Image ID #1467578 Unavailable **

Greetings, Lureeasygoer ~

Your Valentine poem carries its message of love well enough. However, it is filled with technical problems (spelling, grammar, no punctuation). I like the content, but the delivery is extremely flawed. Its attention to detail was too easy going.

V[e](a)lentine

A Valentine poem or song I have never [write] (written,) (correct, but ruins the rhyme)
[B](b)ut I will give it my best shot tonight(.)
I feel inspired(,) and it’s because of you(.)
Your words have touched me straight through(.)
My mind(,) my [H](h)eart(,) and my soul(,)
(Of)[M](m)y whole being [Y](y)ou have taken hold(.)

Most of your lines are complete sentences, except then you have:
Food for my soul your poem and your song
All through the day your words in my head

Every stanza needs reworking. You get the idea of what I think is needed from above.

I feel (somehow) I have fallen for you

Cupid(,) Cupid(,) (wherever) you are(,)

Is it even possible for your heart to be mine[ ]? This last line is the only place you use punctuation at present. [Remove the extra space]

Sorry I cannot give this a higher rating and more favorable review...

Cheers!

Harry
248
248
Review of I'm Special Too  
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1467578 Unavailable **

Greetings, Daizy ~

This poem is rather short and simple. However, it delivers an important message that each of us is special. Thus, it is a worthwhile write and nicely done.

I have only two suggestions for your consideration:

That I haven't any[,]

And hear, "Good for you!['](")

Cheers!

Harry
249
249
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Image ID #1467578 Unavailable **

Greetings, I`staiNed ~

Your poem captures well the feeling of loneliness and emptiness inside that come with being broken-hearted by love. This poem is well-written overall, and I enjoyed the read.

I have a few items for you to consider and do with as you please:

not easily seperated. >>>>> separated

But such feelings of loneliness[,]
leech themselves to you,

Only the broken(-)hearted,

when you're the broken(-)hearted.

Have you ever walked alone[?](,)
[Y](y)our hand to your chest and
the coldness of a dying heart felt? >>>> Make into one sentence.

Cheers!

Harry
250
250
Review of 'The Incident'  
Review by Harry
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
** Image ID #1467578 Unavailable **

Greetings, iKïyå§ama ~

You did an excellent job of telling a story with dialogue only. The story was interesting and creative. This is nicely done. However, there are numerous items in need of attention:

Atlanta(,) Georgia.”

“Well, I heard this loud boom sound(,) and I sorta figured my [D](d)ad had blown the circuit again[, h](. H)e’s always tinkering with stuff in the basement[– a](. A)nyway, I figured my dad’s screwed up again(,) and I sorta waited to hear my [M](m)om go yelling at him again(,) and I didn’t hear anything.”
>>>> My mom & my dad but Mom and Dad (referring to them directly as what you call them as names)

heck’s going on(,) and I hear nothing – like total

happened(,) and he wasn’t there.

looking for my [M](m)om and [D](d)ad.

everything’s there(,) but my [M](m)om

still on the fire[, t](. T)here’s vegetables still

chopped(,) and the TV’s still on(,) but my [M](m)om’s nowhere

looking for my [D](d)ad(,) and I’m calling him

still intact(,) but it’s like my [D](d)ad’s vanished

phone with him(,) but surprise, surprise, phone lines are dead(,) and as if on cue, the power

around and the(y)[re] were too scared

just keep watch(,) you know, until something happened or (I got) rescue(d)

dare leave(,) especially when

going on outside(,) and I didn’t want

Sure they scold(ed) and yell(ed) at me when I get in trouble at school(,) but they were

you’re thinking(,) and no, my [D](d)ad never hit

two weeks(,) and he was planning

needed my space(,) you know, but

You guys know(,) right?

answered soon(,) but I thank you for your time(,) Ms Marsh.

on the line(,) but for now, let the survivors

Cheers!

Harry
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