You explained the relationship between the crocodile and the plover quite well in your fictional story. It's rather amazing that the croc knows that he needs those bits between his teeth removed. If they aren't, infection easily happens. To me, it's even more amazing that the bird is bold enough to brave sitting in the mouth of the croc to pick his teeth. Wow.
Thanks for sharing. Because of you, I learned something today.
I love reading stories written for contests here where the word count is supposed to be low. I have been far top verbose my entire life and truly admire people who can tell a complete story in 405 words, complete with dialogue. Way to go!
You also managed to tell the entire story in present tense. I usually find people who begin writing in the present tense often switch to past tense without even realizing it.
My brother was younger than me by 4 years...but just as aggravating as this guy.
Excellent word choices. I was visiting the "recent reviews" page and discovered your work of heart.
I do believe that people today are so blessed with being able to take as many photos as they choose. I would, though, like to see more of those photos on the walls of the homes of my friends and family.
Yes, I'm an old fart. And I bemoan the fact that my elementary school and my junior high were torn down, and my high school was turned into senior citizen apartments. And I have zero photos of any of those schools. I usually tell kids who I know to try to take some photos of their schools. A few less pictures of their dinners wouldn't hurt.
I so admire people like yourself who can tell a complete story in so few words. That has never been my strength, thus my admiration for people who can achieve it.
In 300 words, you told the story perfectly with the twist at the end. Well done.
What a lovely story. It's interesting that many people actually did have to change what they had been doing for Christmas because of covid. It's even more interesting that many have continued their new traditions.
I did wonder about this sentence:
"This was a six hour drive through Georgia to Jacksonville to Florida."
Isn't Jacksonville in Florida? Perhaps you meant: This was a six hour drive through Georgia to Jacksonville, Florida.
You wrote about how some people handle death quite well.
My hubby and I met here on WDC, and have now been married 19 years, but he still mourns his first wife. He's been writing a book about their relationship since she died in 1980. I doubt that he will ever finish it or have it published. It's his way of coping. And, no, I'm not jealous or hurt. He and I have a great relationship too.
I love this! Sometimes it's just fun to write something cutesy or silly or fun. I love the word rememories. As I looked it up, it appears that Toni Morrison used it one way, but others have used it in various ways, including being like a "thought haunting". Such a cool word.
Like that reviewer, the title intrigued me. My hubby and I met right here on WDC, so I understand distance romance. When we first met, I was in TX and he was in OH.
You told the story well. The poem flows well and the rhymes make sense.
I did wonder about the part of your title in parentheses. Lost love?
You have explained yourself well. I have personally never understood most sports fans, but especially baseball.
Oh, I lived in Pittsburgh, and I did get excited when every one of our sports teams did a great job and we were termed the City of Champions. That was fun. But I never attended a baseball game.
I also lived in FL, so as a family we did go to exhibition games when the teams were there for spring training. My son and husband loved watching the games. I loved the sense of community amongst the regulars in the stands.
I used to be like that about racing cars. That was my sport.
Anyway, I did enjoy reading about why you are a baseball fan. I wouldn't change a thing.
Such excellent advice written in poetic form with specific direction for a contest. Impressive.
As I read your poem aloud, I absolutely loved how it flowed effortlessly. Again, impressive.
It also appears that you followed the prompts. Well done.
If only everyone would read multiple stories and poem about how to be happier, and if only some of them would sink in. It saddens me to see so many people walking around with scowls on their faces and being so obviously unhappy. That is not what our Creator intended.
Interesting read. You explained your own part in getting ready, as well as those in charge of the safety of the voyage. My only disappointment was that there didn't seem to be enough explanation about what the world looks like from a flying balloon. I remember when I first rode in a helicopter, I wanted everyone to see and feel what I did through my words.
Your poem tells us that life is a gift, and it is. I appreciate being reminded of that.
As someone who began writing poetry at age 8 (and who is now almost 72!), and as someone who studied poetry in high school and college, I have always had the most trouble critiquing free verse. It's a work of heart that reminds me of abstract art.
In this case, reading it aloud often does not help as it does with poetry with a specific number of lines and a specific rhyming pattern.
With free verse, all I can say is that I enjoyed it.
Thanks for what your flimsy poem. It appears that you did just what you were supposed to do, per the prompt.
Perhaps I have shared with you when I read one of your other works of heart about the gentleman who I met online years ago. He actually supported his family by writing poetry, publishing it and selling his poetry books, and by doing poetry readings. He believed that every poem should be read aloud.
As I read your poem aloud, the verse about the cane and porch were more awkward than the first verse. You have the right amount of syllables, but something made me stumble. I wish that I could be more specific. Perhaps if you read it aloud you will discover what I experienced.
Your poem is spot on. Harboring hate affects everything that we do and say. Or think.
"like slowly pulling jagged thorns
from soft flesh"
Ouch. Yes!
I was so blessed to have a mother and grandmother who encouraged me/us to always be proud of those around us who have had accomplishments. We were taught to celebrate the successes of others. And we were taught to never be envious. After all, the Ten Commandments tell us that we are not supposed to covet our neighbor's stuff.
That's an excellent idea. Frankly, I think that everyone who pushes socialism should be required to live it for at least a year, preferably more. As you pointed out, that is especially true of rich and famous celebrities. Most of them want that for us, but not for themselves.
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