More good advice. I had a wonderful next door neighbor who taught me that women should pray as they fold their laundry, as they stir the soup bubbling on the stove, even when cleaning toilets. I never forgot those lessons. And she was right. While cleaning the bathroom, one is usually not disturbed.
Suggestion:
Despite the fact that I call them rules. You can have a full prayer life without following them.
Should be:
Despite the fact that I call them rules, you can have a full prayer life without following them.
Or perhaps:
Despite the fact that I call them rules, they are not the only way to have a full prayer life.
Some excellent advice here, Rev. Crutchfield. My Grandma used to tell me that we must tithe not only our money, but our talents as well. That we must be ready to tell anyone who asks why we're so joyful, even in times of crisis.
Some suggestions:
You do need to refine this. I found some punctuation errors at the beginning.
Also, I think perhaps when you typed:
These three are certainly the only ministries which the average Christian can undertake.
You meant:
These three are certainly notthe only ministries which the average Christian can undertake.
And...rather than speaking of an average Christian, I might use the term "every Christian." What is an average Christian anyway.
Wow. This is truly a moving story. It has all of the emotions one would feel in this situation. By the end, I was just as anxious for the results as your story character.
There were a few places where I was confused by the punctuation. Still, the story is touching.
I love this, PlannerDan! Love the repitition of how considerate you were in letting her sleep. Thirty-six years is a long time. Surely by then one would be used to a few changes, right?
Good one. Peer pressure is hard. It seems that today it really takes someone strong to go against what's popular. Or what's expected. We are all individuals, though, so we should have the chance to be just that.
Love the last lines. Very wise. Not everyone should be allowed to write on your life slate.
Love your sentence amusement partk. Reading it makes (re)learning about sentence structure much more fun. Using amusement partk rides should help us remember.
I still don't like sentences that end in prepositions. Granted, perhaps once in a while (like using conjuctions at the beginning might be okay. Some writers, it seems, only know how to end sentences with prepositions, though. That gets annoying.
Well done. Your instructions are simple enough for newest surfer and not insulting to those with some experience. I wish my mom had these when she went online - in her late 60's. She bought a book about how to use the Internet, but it had way too much information. She needed something this simple.
What a great collection of stories about life with Memaw. I think you're right, that she was quite a hero.
I probably wouldn't change much in this. Memories like these are often best as they are first written. There are a few places where the formatting isn't perfect, but that's not such a big deal.
Thanks for sharing. Life was simpler then, whether rich or poor, I think.
Blessings,
Kenzie
P.S. I think there was plenty of recreation!
"We do not correct a piece of writing; in doing so, we question a life." William Stafford
Wow. I love chocolate, that's for sure. But I'm not sure I ever enjoyed it as much as this! In fact, if I had ever eaten that much candy in one sitting, I'd be feeling guilty.
Your descriptions made me think I was actually eating the candy, and I wondered why I couldn't really taste it.
This is beautiful. I'm glad it was mentioned in the Spiritual Newsletter. Your words flow, as if they were meant to be written. And the message is a true and simple one, but those are often the hardest to learn and remember.
Interesting thoughts and essay. Younger folks don't like to hear us older folks talking about the wonderful past. There is an obvious difference, though, in the way young people relate to school and education. Way back in the dark ages when I was young, for most kids, school was viewed as an opportunity to learn. We were encouraged to learn and a passion to learn was the result. We also liked school, and that was evident in the fact that kids (particularly girls) "played school" at every opportunity. After school and in the summer, we pretended to be in school. I can't tell you the last time I saw a child playing school.
From the title and description, I thought you'd be discussing the book a bit more. Rather, it appears you've discussed today's world. There's nothing wrong with that.
Suggestion:
There are a few places where you've used "one" and "their" in same sentence. It would be more correct to use "one" and "his/her" or to change your subjects to "people" and continue with "their."
Amen to this one - the message, that is. Hopefully, we've learned a lesson from Nam.
The rhythm and rhymes were good, and as I already said, I loved the message. Whether or not one embraces war, we should always welcome home the troops.
This is great. Your descriptions made me feel as if I was there sharing every - good and bad - experience.
Just one suggestion. You said, "This caused me to fall flat on my face to the ground where I ended up with a mouth full of fog-dampened leaves. As I spat it out, I could also taste the bitterness of twigs from the tree mixed in and hoped there were no bugs in this soggy mulch."
Since you had a mouth full of leaves, wouldn't you spit them out (instead of it)?
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Kenzie
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