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626
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
More good advice. I had a wonderful next door neighbor who taught me that women should pray as they fold their laundry, as they stir the soup bubbling on the stove, even when cleaning toilets. I never forgot those lessons. *Bigsmile* And she was right. While cleaning the bathroom, one is usually not disturbed.

Suggestion:
Despite the fact that I call them rules. You can have a full prayer life without following them.

Should be:
Despite the fact that I call them rules, you can have a full prayer life without following them.

Or perhaps:
Despite the fact that I call them rules, they are not the only way to have a full prayer life.

Thanks for sharing and witnessing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
627
627
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Some excellent advice here, Rev. Crutchfield . My Grandma used to tell me that we must tithe not only our money, but our talents as well. That we must be ready to tell anyone who asks why we're so joyful, even in times of crisis.

Some suggestions:
You do need to refine this. I found some punctuation errors at the beginning.

Also, I think perhaps when you typed:
These three are certainly the only ministries which the average Christian can undertake.

You meant:
These three are certainly notthe only ministries which the average Christian can undertake.

And...rather than speaking of an average Christian, I might use the term "every Christian." What is an average Christian anyway. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing...and for witnessing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
628
628
Review of Hopes and Dreams  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow. This is truly a moving story. It has all of the emotions one would feel in this situation. By the end, I was just as anxious for the results as your story character.

There were a few places where I was confused by the punctuation. Still, the story is touching.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
629
629
Review by Kenzie
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I love this, PlannerDan ! Love the repitition of how considerate you were in letting her sleep. *Bigsmile* Thirty-six years is a long time. Surely by then one would be used to a few changes, right?

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
630
630
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good one. Peer pressure is hard. It seems that today it really takes someone strong to go against what's popular. Or what's expected. We are all individuals, though, so we should have the chance to be just that.

Love the last lines. Very wise. Not everyone should be allowed to write on your life slate.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
631
631
Review of At three  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved this brief stroll down memory lane. As I read the description, I thought, "What does one remember about being that young?"

Your ending lines were great:

And I barely remember by age of Five,
what once I knew at Three.


And so it goes as we go from age to age.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
632
632
Review by Kenzie
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Love your sentence amusement partk. Reading it makes (re)learning about sentence structure much more fun. Using amusement partk rides should help us remember. *Smile*

I still don't like sentences that end in prepositions. Granted, perhaps once in a while (like using conjuctions at the beginning *Smile* might be okay. Some writers, it seems, only know how to end sentences with prepositions, though. That gets annoying.

Anyway, thanks for the tour of the park.

Blessings,
Kenzie
633
633
Review of Dawning Knowledge  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this. You're right. It starts out rather serious, but doesn't end that way. *Bigsmile*

I think I was a little confused - at the choice of words and the effort it took him to write. I wondered at the age of your son.

Thanks for sharing. And welcome to Writing.com.

Blessings,
Kenzie
634
634
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well done. Your instructions are simple enough for newest surfer and not insulting to those with some experience. *Smile* I wish my mom had these when she went online - in her late 60's. She bought a book about how to use the Internet, but it had way too much information. She needed something this simple.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie

635
635
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a great collection of stories about life with Memaw. I think you're right, that she was quite a hero. *Smile*

I probably wouldn't change much in this. Memories like these are often best as they are first written. There are a few places where the formatting isn't perfect, but that's not such a big deal.

Thanks for sharing. Life was simpler then, whether rich or poor, I think.

Blessings,
Kenzie

P.S. I think there was plenty of recreation!

"We do not correct a piece of writing; in doing so, we question a life." William Stafford
636
636
Review of The Purple Hat  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great story about Memaw. *Smile* I can almost see her in the purple suit. Memories like this are real treasures.

One question/suggestion:

At the beginning, you've mentioned a lapel watch. At the end, a lapel pin.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
637
637
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow. I love chocolate, that's for sure. But I'm not sure I ever enjoyed it as much as this! *Smile* In fact, if I had ever eaten that much candy in one sitting, I'd be feeling guilty.

Your descriptions made me think I was actually eating the candy, and I wondered why I couldn't really taste it.

Thanks for sharing (almost! *Bigsmile*).

Blessings,
Kenzie
638
638
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good poem. Rhyme and rhythm are good. And I understand that confusion about those who seem to hate anyone with faith in God.

Suggestion:

All the rest of us our sinners,

I believe you meant:

All the rest of us are sinners,

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
639
639
Review of Soundless Story  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love it! I wasn't sure what was happening until the very end. Good job.

I would suggest...

This line:

The twinkle in their eyes are very evident.

Would be better as:

The twinkle in their eyes is very evident. (twinkle...is, not twinkle...are)

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
640
640
Review of Tired Feet  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
How funny. This just shows that we should never say we have nothing about which to write. Feet? Indeed.

Reading this aloud was fun. It flowed well, and the rhymes all made perfect sense.

I needed a smile this afternoon, and you gave it.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie

641
641
Review of Weekend Awakening  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Good job, Johnny Lang . This is exactly how it should work. *Smile* Folks are willing to let God help them plan everything...except love.

Some suggestions:

Toward the end, you have these lines:

I don’t understand it, but I know its there.

She thinks its impossible to love her, but I know that its not.

In each of these "its" should be "it's".

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
642
642
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
James, no truer words were penned. *Smile*

This verse truly spoke to me:

With eager mind we seek to know
the secret of success,
but overlook the best in life
and settle for much less.

Good word choices and flow. Excellent life lesson.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
643
643
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is beautiful. I'm glad it was mentioned in the Spiritual Newsletter. Your words flow, as if they were meant to be written. And the message is a true and simple one, but those are often the hardest to learn and remember.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
644
644
Review of 1984 Reflection  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Interesting thoughts and essay. Younger folks don't like to hear us older folks talking about the wonderful past. There is an obvious difference, though, in the way young people relate to school and education. Way back in the dark ages when I was young, for most kids, school was viewed as an opportunity to learn. We were encouraged to learn and a passion to learn was the result. We also liked school, and that was evident in the fact that kids (particularly girls) "played school" at every opportunity. After school and in the summer, we pretended to be in school. I can't tell you the last time I saw a child playing school.

From the title and description, I thought you'd be discussing the book a bit more. Rather, it appears you've discussed today's world. There's nothing wrong with that. *Smile*

Suggestion:

There are a few places where you've used "one" and "their" in same sentence. It would be more correct to use "one" and "his/her" or to change your subjects to "people" and continue with "their."

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
645
645
Review of Self Discovery  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a great reminder that our happiness begins with accepting and loving ourselves. *Smile*

The poem flows well and, for the most part, the rhymes are good.

Suggestions:

About rhyme:

These are the only lines where the rhyming seems forced:

For, all I have found is found within
A belief in myself, a stiff upper chin

About rhythm:

This is just a bit off:

You give what you get, you get what you give.
And to live a good life, you have to remember to live.

I might change the last line to:
And to live a good life, remember to live.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
646
646
Review of Pixie  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This story just shows that first impressions aren't always right. *Smile*

Some suggestions:

First, I'd add spaces between paragraphs to make it easier to read.

Secondly:

She told me that since she had been ditch the night before on her birthday, Plummer had invited her to come to the party with him and hang out.

I think you meant, "she had been ditched..."

And last: There are two instances where you've written "eachother" instead of "each other."

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Rose signature
647
647
Review of The Man I Loved  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
This one got to me. I lost my own father - last August. The words are loving words. This is surely your work of heart.

Thanks for sharing. I'm sorry for your loss.

Blessings,
Kenzie

"We do not correct a piece of writing; in doing so, we question a life." William Stafford

Rose signature

648
648
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Amen to this one - the message, that is. Hopefully, we've learned a lesson from Nam.

The rhythm and rhymes were good, and as I already said, I loved the message. Whether or not one embraces war, we should always welcome home the troops.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
649
649
Review of My Only Comfort  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent word crafting about the art of poetry, your own work of heart. *Smile* The trash can is another prized possession? I've never seen it that way.

I like your last lines:
Dawn breaks suddenly, and I drop my pen.
I have finished.


Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie

 Breakfast of Champions  (E)
My words have tumbled all over the floor.
#1000224 by Kenzie


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650
Review of Dinosaur Weather  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is great. Your descriptions made me feel as if I was there sharing every - good and bad - experience. *Smile*

Just one suggestion. You said, "This caused me to fall flat on my face to the ground where I ended up with a mouth full of fog-dampened leaves. As I spat it out, I could also taste the bitterness of twigs from the tree mixed in and hoped there were no bugs in this soggy mulch."

Since you had a mouth full of leaves, wouldn't you spit them out (instead of it)?

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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