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576
576
Review of Battle #1  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
No wonder!


It happens. We have made infinite mistakes so far before. I do remember the adage – to err is human, to forgive is divine.



Nice it is that you have not been reminded by anyone before. You could not begin the battle, I mean; you could not perform your assignment on task since July 23, 2017.



The matter is Game of Thrones 2017; but whither is the babble list?



Battle before August 2017 and with house, and it was not easy enough to go for, but somehow you have missed, I mean, you slipped; but you may have checked in or out or at least visited or cared to remember about the assignment or task after 23rd July; it is never bad, many of us do like this, but it is not appreciable indeed.



In absence of your words, how to proceed, seems it is not easy enough to offer my view, opinion, and it would be farce going for writing a review.



I do not like to assume or guess, but for the sake of doing so, I may think, if it is intentional, it is fantastic and you have done a job that a reader can fall in the oceans of thoughts and imaginations to guess into the fact; I am afraid, I do not like to lose my time, resources, just making a wild guess.



I dare not offer you any suggestion or advice, courteously and politely I may request you to visit your own post and do what whatever you would feel deem needful and help protect the grace of the site, because I think, it is not wise to befool your readers and you know, as you sow, so you will reap, and you being wise, you know, every action has its equal and opposite reaction, so please take action as you would think right, fair or needful.



Title of the work may be correct, appropriate but I do not think it is complete, comprehensive, compact and catchy.



Wish to read the post once you post it rightly.



Well done; thank you for sharing this blank work with us.





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577
577
Review of Alcoholic  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Drunken promises!
No alcohol from tomorrow!



OMG! You have done a nice job. I liked your work of poem, a poem of drunken promise, a poem about a drunkard, a poem about an alcoholic, a poem of alcoholic promise.



I enjoyed the story, the free and fast forward flow of thoughts, a monologue, the dramatic promise of a drunkard, the comedy of drunkard words, humour of consciousness of alcohol consumption, the taletelling of a drunkard promise, and the funny drunk words of stop consuming alcohol from tomorrow, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is good, appropriate, significant and correct, but it is not catchy; I expect a title of a poem may be, in addition, compact, complete and comprehensive.



Edit:
Drinks for all around the bar,
as happy shouts reverberate.
Who knows what will happen next,
with one too many down the hatch.

(Drinks for all around the bar
as happy shouts reverberate.
Who knows what will happen next
with one too many down the hatch.)



Edit:
Morning light blinds my eyes;
the alarm startles like the truth.
another ale goes into stomach’s pit,
Just to settle my queasiness.

(Morning light blinds my eyes
the alarm startles like the truth.
Another ale goes into stomach’s pit
just to settle my queasiness.)



Edit:
Hangovers loom every day,
and my boss screams in my ears,
“You’re fired, you drunk!”
an ugly truth now.

(Hangovers loom every day
and my boss screams in my ears
“you’re fired, you drunk!”
an ugly truth now.)



Edit:
I’m an alcoholic who cannot stop;
all I need is one more.

(I’m an alcoholic who cannot stop
all I need is one more.)



Edit:
I sit in a cell, my new home now,
wondering how I got here.
Was it worth it in the end.
to have one more drink?

(I sit in a cell, my new home now
wondering how I got here.
Was it worth in the end
to have one more drink?)



Edit:
I’m an alcoholic who cannot stop;
all I need is one more.

(I’m an alcoholic who cannot stop
all I need is one more.)



Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, as there is no author’s note about your style of expression, for better read, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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578
578
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Fools ate poison!
Squawk without reason!


Interesting! Entertaining!



OMG! You have done a news work. I liked your work of poem (limerick), a limerick on Dick and Jane, a limerick on two fools, a limerick on two morning walkers, a limerick on two walkers, a limerick on walkers squawking, a limerick on innocent poison eaters, a limerick on two casual poison eaters, a limerick on two strange toadstool eaters, a limerick on toadstool eating walkers, a limerick on poison eating talkers.



I enjoyed the story, catchy beginning, interesting middle, interesting climax and curious ending and fantastic taletelling, two foolish talking walkers ate poison and squawking at the end, the fascinating imagery, word visuals, the comedy, the dramatic climax, the flavour of tragedy, and the read.



Title of the poem is good but not catchy, and I find, the word Limerick appears casual and inappropriate; I expect a title of a poem (limerick) may be catchy as well complete, comprehensive and compact, rather, I think, the word ‘Limerick’ is redundant in the title of the limerick, it appears to me telling more than showing, as such I do not find the title is appropriate or significant. I would wish to mention this limerick has element of a poem, I think, it may also be called a good poem in rhymes, obviously though, for non-sense or inferior thematic approach makes it a true limerick, as people say, a poem is not necessarily to have such non-sensuous taletelling.



Well done; thank you for sharing this wonderful limerick with us.






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579
579
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Well, you have done a good job. I liked the work of poem, a poem of love, a poem telling a love story, a poem telling love in appreciation, a poem tells unforgettable, unbreakable and unending love relation and love feeling.



I enjoyed the free and fast forward of thoughts, the story, a monologue flavour of taletelling of the love story in maturation and conclusion, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate, significant if not catchy.



My favourite lines of the poem:
When she expires
We may see each other
Maybe in Heaven
Maybe in hell




I liked much the lines of the poem:
Even if she returned
Even if she came back
I’m not sure
That I could again love her



I liked most the lines of the poem:
All that has been broken
Dare I say, by you…




Edit:
A special poem close to my heart about love the first time around. As I See it.
(A special poem close to my heart about love the first time around, as I see it.)



Edit:
Behind My Lips For You
(Behind My Lips for You)



Please check, I have humbly offered my suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this love poem with us.





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580
580
Review of The River Bend  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
You have done a nice job. I liked this work of poem, a poem about a river bend, a poem about a terrible river, a poem about a poem about an unforgiving river, a poem about a river bend you walked on way to school.



I enjoyed the free flow of thoughts, the story, and taletelling of the unforgiving river, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



You have nicely expressed your feelings, experiences of feeling scared, and your high concern about the river bend where so many boys and girls died on their way to and from their school. And quite naturally your parents expressed their high concern about the river bend you had to cross on your way to school.



Title of the poem is appropriate and significant if not catchy.



Edit:
A special poem about a path that I use to walk as a child that gave me time to think.
(A special poem about a path I used to walk as a child that gave me time to think.)



Edit:
When I was ten
Just a kid
I use to walk a path

(When I was ten
just a kid
I used to walk a path)



Edit:
In my hypersensitive head
I would contemplates such things
(In my hypersensitive head
I would contemplate such things)



Edit:
And what would I say to God above
I would speculate my parent’s feelings

(And what I would say to God above
I would speculate my parent’s feelings)



My favourite lines of the poem:
For many years I walked that path
Thinking, broadening, careful introspection
All became part of my survival mechanism
Many crude ideas were created
There along the shore



Please check, I have humbly offered my suggestions as edits, for clarity of expression, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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581
581
Review of Meditation  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Peace through meditation!
New eyes after meditation!



This is a nice work you have done. I find you have made the poem based on emotion and you have shared your feeling in words.



Mind is always busy, mind keeps thinking this and that, mind is never free, mind is always bogged with thoughts, something or other, and busy mind is full with troubles, there is no peace, though actually, we cannot define what is peace, that is why we should go for meditation and help mind feel peace, as you have expressed, after meditation, we get new eyes and we can see everything through our new mind; meditation helps us to make and open our new eyes to see whatever we like through and through and we may feel peace.



I liked the poem and enjoyed the read.



Title of the poem is good, appropriate and correct, but it is not catchy, as I always expect a title of a poem may be complete, comprehensive, compact and catchy.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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582
582
Review of "FIRE"  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Fine!


You have done a nice job.


I liked the work of your poem, a poem about fire of the spirit.



I enjoyed the flow of thoughts, the theme, the message, dimension of thoughts and feelings, aspirations and expectations of fire of the spirit.



Title of the poem is good, appropriate, if not catchy.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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583
583
Review of Sad Word Goodbye  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
You have done a nice job. I liked your work of poem, a poem about making peace, a poem about saying goodbye, a poem paying tribute to mother, a poem about peace, a poem about goodbye, a poem about living.



I enjoyed the story, flow of thoughts, good state of imagery, word visuals, monologue flavour of expression about living and appreciation of living, taletelling about making peace and saying word goodbye to mother, and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, but it is not catchy, though I find it is partly related to the theme of the poem, and it is not complete, comprehensive, or compact as I expect a title of a poem may be significant, appropriate and complete, comprehensive, compact and catchy; I liked the title is correct though.




I do not understand the relevance and relation of the following lines, and truly speaking, I fail to understand what you exactly wish to say in the lines; moreover, I do not like the lines, I think, the lines are redundant and lessened the grip and grace of the poem, and I think, the lines are not expressive to me:

For you it was always
About something unknown
For me it will always
Be about believing
Not in you of course
But in something greater
Than the power that you
Use to hold over my head
Like a ton of bricks




I liked much the lines of the poem:
And you, my mother
Gave me this life
Such a reluctant gift
You did not want to give
You died without me
You died most alone



I liked most the lines of the poem:
I came here to cry
I came here to try
My intention is to offer
The smallest of a white lie



My favourite lines of the poem:
Peace is both simultaneously
My salvation and redemption



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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584
584
Review of Melons  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Succulent days follow hard days!
Life must be enjoyable!



OMG! You have done a nice job. I liked your work of poem, a poem hoping for brighter days, a poem hoping for enjoyable days, a poem of lively living, a poem in appreciation of living, a poem about living, a poem about complete sense of living, a poem about philosophy of living, a poem of aspects of living, a poem in hope for living, a poem about life, a poem about living a life, a poem about appreciation of living a life, a poem about enjoyable living, and a poem of hope for living.



I enjoyed the natural and free flow of thoughts, the story, the imagery, the word visuals and the read.



Title of the poem is good, but it is not appropriate and significant; as I read, the title of the poem is not catchy, rather it is symbolic, if not metaphorical; it may be subjective, though I find it has a relevance to the theme in essence; I expect a title of a poem may be complete, comprehensive, compact, catchy, in addition to appropriate and significant.



Edit:
In the darkest of nights
Seems as if all light has escaped the horizon.
Wanting to capture the sun,
in the palm of our hand.
To be reminded some light remains.
Though the night seems infinite,
we will always have light in our grasp.

(In the darkest of nights
seems as if all light has escaped the horizon.
Wanting to capture the sun
in the palm of our hand.
To be reminded some light remains.
Though the night seems infinite
we will always have light in our grasp.)



Edit:
Hiding in the orange blanket of melons
to never be deceived by the cold nights ahead.
The succulent taste of brighter days to come.

(Hiding in the orange blanket of melons
never to be deceived by the cold nights ahead
the succulent taste of brighter days to come.)

- The style of expression in the lines above is nice and it is poetic, but I find it is hard to edit, because I cannot change the lines to hurt you, though the style is appreciable.



Please check, I have humbly offered my suggestions as edits, as they were feasible, keeping your style of expression intact, in the brackets, as above, for smoother read.



Well done; thank you for sharing the poem with us.





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585
585
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Well, you have done a nice job. I liked your work of poem, very nicely composed, in the form, a double Sedoka, as required, with a syllable count of 5 7 7 5 7 7, 5 7 7 5 7 7 7, a poem about memories of Thanksgiving, a poem in memory of Thanksgiving.



I enjoyed the story, memories in tiers, enjoying the Thanksgiving Days in family, the free flow of thoughts, the imagery, the word visuals and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, if not catchy.



There is no author’s notes about your style of expression of the poem.



Edit:
A Thanksgiving past
Turkey and oyster dressing
Grandma baked the pumpkin pie
Mama whipped the cream
Grandpa always blessed the meal
He intoned our gratitude

(A Thanksgiving past
turkey and oyster dressing
grandma baked the pumpkin pie
mama whipped the cream
grandpa always blessed the meal
he intoned our gratitude.)



Edit:
A Thanksgiving past
We gathered in the kitchen
And not in a dining room
Mom's cranberry sauce
Made with the whole cranberry
Memories of Thanksgiving

(A Thanksgiving past
we gathered in the kitchen
and not in a dining room
mom's cranberry sauce
made with the whole cranberry
memories of Thanksgiving.)



Please check, I have humbly offered my suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above, for smoother read of the poem.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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586
586
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a finer experimental expression of experience, feeling about people and people’s attitude toward you, as such it is not so easy to appreciate and understand the essence of your expression that makes this work of this poem.



Well, you have done a nice job. I liked the endeavour.



Title of the poem is appropriate, significant, if not catchy, though I find the title of the poem is correct, complete, comprehensive and compact, in addition, subjective and relevant to the theme of the poem.



I do not under these lines, I tried but I could not find out the relation, and the relevance to the message, if any, of the poem, and about the theme of the poem, and I think I need your clarifications, and hope, you would never disappoint me from having your words about these lines.

for then to realize it was their face.
For then to realize the blood that drips
is like time
you will never get back.
The time wasted on
thinking.
Just, thinking.



I think I do not get clear idea about the concept you expressed in the lines of the poem:

Did anyone I love
ever love me back?



But I get some idea about your thinking, the concept of the poem that you are thinking about those whom once you loved and disowned, whether they loved you and or disowned you.



Edit:
The people whom I had loved
and the people whom had loved me.
But,
Did anyone I love
ever love me back?

(The people whom I loved
and the people who loved me
but,
did anyone I love
ever love me back?)



Edit:
Once I found a place to sit, I thought.
(Once I found a place to sit, I thought)




Please check, I have humbly offered my suggestions as edits, and changed (deleted some words, for instance) words, for better expression and smoother read, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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587
587
Review of Static.  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
You have done a good job. I appreciate your endeavour composing this work of poem. I liked the poem; I find it is something funny though.



You experienced with the static television, then dreamt of a dream and in the dream again you find the grass static, it is a bit chaotic and somewhat funny, though I find your theme is well expressed, because everything and nothingness and the state of static state everywhere around haunts you, again this is not beyond something to think of it funny.



Title of the poem is good, but it is not catchy, though I find, it has relevance to the theme of the poem, and it is correct. Interestingly enough, I liked the title of the poem because it has some mystic state.



Edit:
Static.
(Static)



Edit:
The Television played static.
Black,
grey and
white
flashed across the screen in a disorderly pattern, every
second.
I grabbed the remote and hit the power button until the television
stopped,
and receded to a black nothingness.
I read. I read for hours.


(The television played static.
Black
grey and
white
flashed across the screen in a disorderly pattern, every
second.
I grabbed the remote and hit the power button until the television
stopped
and receded to a black nothingness)



I read. I read for hours.
- I do not understand this line; I do not know what you wish to mean in this line, and again, I do not find any relevance of this line here; I mean, what you read is not mentioned, and being a reader, I do not like to guess.



The sky was nothing, the sky was static.
The grass was nothing, the grass was static.
- I do not understand what you wish to mean through these lines; I think the idea is not expressible and I fail to make out the actual meaning and explanation in these lines.



Edit:
Everything was nothing, everything was static,
and that slight noise a television makes
when it goes to static
haunts me.

(Everything was nothing, everything was static
and that slight noise a television makes
when it goes to static.
It haunts me.)



Please check, I have humbly offered my suggestions as edits, and changed some words, for better expression and smoother read, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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588
588
Review of NOT AS HAPPY AS U  Open in new Window.
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
You have done a fine job. I like you work of poem, a poem about life, a poem about living a life, a poem about appreciation of life, a poem understanding a life, a poem about understanding the essence of a life, a poem describing living a life.



I enjoyed the stories about life, the free flow of thoughts, taletelling of stories in appreciation of life, the morality of the stories, the message and thematic explanations of the stories on lives, the causal inspiration for living a life, dimensions and varieties of experiences in living a life, the comparative features of experiences from dimensions of living a life, attitudes toward a life, aspirations about living a life, the imageries, the word visuals and the read.



My favourite lines of the poem:
Somewhere a poor dad
Silently cries,
When he sees his son
Begging for a bowl of rice.



My most liked lines of the poem:
Somewhere far
At the border
When a soldier sleeps,
Missing his loved ones
He silently weeps.



Title of the poem is appropriate, significant and catchy.



Edit:
NOT AS HAPPY AS U
(Not As Happy As You)
- I think, as I read, and I find, you are not consistent in keeping your style of expression, there is mix of use of both capital and small letters in the poem, and I think, there is no worth using a title of a poem in all capital letters with mix of abbreviation, I understand everyone across the world has right to expression and freedom of expression, to me, it is not even use of your poetic license, it is not appreciable, so I have offered my humble suggestion, and I know, none on earth is perfect, and I know my limitations, I cannot speak the last word on anything, maybe I am wrong, but it is a relative term, I have just expressed my thoughts.


Edit:
Sometimes in life
We feel so blue,
But someone, somewhere
is not as happy as U.

(Sometimes in life
we feel so blue
but, someone, somewhere
is not as happy as you.)



Edit:
Somewhere far
At the border
When a soldier sleeps,
Missing his loved ones
He silently weeps.

(Somewhere far
at the border
when a soldier sleeps,
missing his loved ones
he silently weeps.)



Edit:
Somewhere a mother
Painfully sighs,
Coz
Her new born baby
Didn't open her eyes.

(Somewhere a mother
painfully sighs.
Because
her new born baby
didn't open her eyes.)



Edit:
Somewhere a poor dad
Silently cries,
When he sees his son
Begging for a bowl of rice.

(Somewhere a poor dad
silently cries
when he sees his son
begging for a bowl of rice.)



Edit:
Somewhere
In an orphanage
A little girl's sad,
When she misses her
mom n dad.

(Somewhere
in an orphanage
a little girl is sad
when she misses her
mom n dad.)



Edit:
So at times ...
A reason to smile
U may not have any,
Say to yourself that ...
U're happier than many.

(So at times,
a reason to smile
you may not have any
say to yourself that
you are happier than many.)



Edit:
‘Cause

Life is beautiful and
it is not always blue
and someone somewhere
is not as happy as you.

Let us love life. )
Or,
Let’s love life.



Edit: This is the description part of the poem given under the title of the poem
Lets love life..
(Let’s love life)
This is another type of expression of the same sentence, so it is also considered under editing.


Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits and changed some words, added and deleted some words, for clarity of expression and smoother read, in the brackets, as above.


Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.




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589
589
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Yeah, you have done simply a nice job. I like the work of poem, a work on darkness, a work about darkness, a work on, onto and about darkness, a work on nature and state of darkness, a work on characteristic of darkness, a monologue on and about darkness, a monologue about the nature of darkness, a monologue appreciating darkness, a monologue about feeling and appreciation of darkness, a work about dispersal of darkness, a work about identifying true nature of darkness.



I enjoyed the story on, about and of darkness, the flow of thoughts, narration of the story, the beginning and end of the story, the climax and resolution of the story, true experience and proper identification of darkness, existence and place of existence of darkness as a feeling, imagery about the state of darkness, the word visuals on appreciation of darkness, and the read.



Title of the work is appropriate, significant if not catchy. I find, as I read, the title of the work is subjective, thematic and related to the theme, as you stated, naturally and evidently, circumstantially and practically, truly and really, you have no other alternatives but to give in to darkness as you feel and find you yourself are the darkness, so the title is significant and correct, complete and comprehensive that I expect in a title of a work, though I always expect a title may also be catchy at the same time, but title of this work is not catchy, I think and find, but I appreciate your experimentation and exploration about the state of feeling darkness and obviously, I find you have done the work poetically, so I may term it a poem.



Edit:
There's a darkness in me ,
a Darkness I struggle to fight .
It keeps on calling me ,
Pulling me deeper and deeper .
With the struggle getting more intense .
I fear for my sanity .

(There's darkness in me.
Darkness I struggle to fight.
It keeps on calling me.
Pulling me deeper and deeper
with the struggle getting more intense.
I fear for my sanity.)


- Darkness is a state and it is not countable, so I have deleted the word 'a' before the word 'darkness'.



Edit:
Getting lost inside the darkness of my own mind ,
Fearing no return .
Fighting to stay sane ,
But with pain , stress , worries and fear ,

(Getting lost inside the darkness of my own mind
fearing no return,
fighting to stay sane
but, with pain, stress, worries and fear.)



Edit:
The darkness spreads like a plaque inside of my mind .
Failing to stop it , or even slow it down .
I start giving in , excepting it .
By giving in and excepting it ,

(The darkness spreads like a plaque inside of my mind.
Failing to stop it, or even slow it down.
I start giving in, excepting it.
By giving in and excepting it,)



Edit:
I start understanding it ,
Understanding the reason why it's there .
For if it was not for that darkness in my mind .
I would siege to exit .
The darkness is more than I thought ,
For the darkness is me .

(I start understanding it,
Understanding the reason why it's there.
For if it was not for that darkness in my mind.
I would siege to exit.
The darkness is more than I thought
for the darkness is me.)



Edit:
I am darkness , with almost no more light .
I will exit from only dark .
Fully excepting the darkness in me .
I became the darkness .
Darkness is me .
I am darkness .{/i}{/center}{/i}

(I am darkness with almost no more light.
I will exit from only dark.
Fully excepting the darkness in me
I became the darkness.
Darkness is me.
I am darkness.)



Please check, I have humbly offered my suggestions and included some words changes, added and deleted some words and deleted some unwanted signs, as edits in the brackets, as above, for clarity of expression and smoother read.



Well done; thank you for sharing this work of poem with us.





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Rated: E | (5.0)
At the outset, I would like to thank you for writing on the subject and sharing the work with us.



The subject is really interesting to me.



You have done a nice job. Indeed, I do appreciate your endeavour. I like your work of monologue, philosophy of the terms probability and possibility, philosophy of probability, philosophy of possibility.



I enjoyed the flow of thoughts, exemplification and elucidation of probability and possibility in a word, order of expression and sharing of experience of feeling the philosophy of probability and possibility in examples, brevity in appreciation of the terms – probability and possibility, the story about meaning of the words - possibility and probability, discussion of probability and possibility in brief, and the read.



Rightly you have stated you feel scared of possibility more than that of probability.
You say possibility means feasibility, likelihood, plausibility, potentiality, practicability, workableness, chance, risk, odds, prospect, liability, hazard, option, choice, alternative, solution, bet, course of action, recourse, conceivability, achievability, attainability, potential, potency, and the like.



You express probability means prospect, presumption, likeliness, fair chance, sporting chance, fat chance, slim chance, joint probability, risk of exposure, risk, risk of infection, and the like.




Title of the monologue is appropriate and catchy.




Well done; thank you once again for sharing this monologue about probability and possibility with us.





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Rated: E | (5.0)
Love conquers distance!
Lovely!



OMG! You have done a nice job. I loved your poem; a poem of love, a poem of love feeling, a poem of love souls, a poem of love conquers distance, a poem of reflection of love, a poem of love in appreciation, a poem of love feeling in unison, a poem of love propels living, a poem of home feeling of love away home, and a poem about spirit of love.



I enjoyed lovely and natural flow of thoughts, feeling, reflection and appreciation of love, love expression of two hearts as one living in a distance, feeling of oneness and one belongs to other in love, some of the rhymes, rhythms in taletelling, the love story, appreciation of love, estimation and state and status of love feeling and living at a distance, the lovely imagery, full of love word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate, significant and catchy, as I read, I find the title of the poem relates to the theme of the poem and as such I think the title of the poem is correct, complete, comprehensive and compact also, as I expect a title of a poem may be.



My favourite lines of the poem:
Aching miles of separation,
states and countries, oceans roar.
Still two hearts can beat together,
linked by love across all shores.



I liked most the lines of the poem:
Years together, growing fonder,
love empowers, opens doors.




Much I liked the following line of the poem:
We are two with hearts as one,




Well done; thank you for sharing this lovely poem with us.





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Rated: E | (5.0)
Answer in the question!


Intelligently fantastic!


QMG! You have done a fine job. I liked your poem, an acrostic poem, a poem on clowder, a poem about animals, a poem defining animals in groups, a poem about birds and animals, a poem with a question, a poem like a riddle, a poem with a quiz, a poem with a mystery, a poem of calling, a poem of naming, a poem of information, a poem of collective names.



I enjoyed the flow of thoughts, the story, dramatic taletelling and metaphorical expression, and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate, significant, if not catchy. I always expect a title of a poem may be clear, correct, complete, comprehensive, compact and catchy; I find the title of the poem is correct, if not complete and comprehensive.



Well done; thank you for sharing this entertaining poem with us.





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Rated: E | (5.0)
Lovely love!


OMG! You have done a lovely job. I liked your work of love-full poem, a poem of rapturous love, a poem of ecstatic love, a poem of rap love, a poem of delighted love, a poem of exalted love, a poem of joyful love, a poem about love of life, a poem about love of girlfriend, a poem of clownish love, a poem of kindness love, a poem of blissful love, a poem of great love, a poem of love life.



I have enjoyed the love story, free flow of lovely thoughts, taletelling of love waves and vibes, showing love feeling and emotions, exaltation of girlfriend’s love, dimensions and faces of love expressions, love bound imagery, love word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is good, formal, common, perky if not catchy; sounds overexpressed, if not complete, comprehensive, compact, though I find it is correct and orderly; I did not like the words ‘so real’ these words give worth and glamour of love a feeling of fantasy and unreal, as I do not understand if love could be expressed ‘so real’ since love is not what we say but it is what we act means it is real and it may not be expressed ‘so real’ to help others feel in words; anyway, the title is not catchy as love should not be expressed by such words like ‘natural’ or ‘real’, or ‘so real’ or ‘so much real’, as I think, so far as love I understand.



It is not bad writing each line of a poem with a capital letter, but I think, the line of a poem may begin with a capital letter after a sentence or when the line is a complete sentence, I mean, in continuation of a line, we may avoid using capital letter beginning a line of a poem.

Just for an example, I have humbly offered my suggestion as edit on a stanza of the poem, in the bracket, to help you understand, how a line of a poem you may begin, that I wish to explain, as you know and would appreciate:


Edit:
So much like fine jewelry, and mother of pearls,
Your life is so precious, the money's enough;
A fun, stylish shopper like millions of girls,
You're dressing so chicly, no others are gruff.


(So much like fine jewelry, and mother of pearls
your life is so precious, the money's enough;
a fun, stylish shopper like millions of girls,
you're dressing so chicly, no others are gruff.)



Well done; thank you for sharing this lovely poem with us.





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Rated: E | (4.0)
Well, you have done a good job.


I have liked your work of poem, a poem about yourself, a poem about your impact upon people, a poem of self-analysis, a poem of self-attitude, a poem about people’s reaction.



I enjoyed the diverse flow of thoughts from subject to subject, straightforward assessment of yourself, the theme, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



You have exemplified your attitude toward people’s reaction upon your thoughts, your appreciation of reality understanding, your mode and state of living, your likes and preferences, your estimation of self, your controversial thoughts about God and creation, your self-contradictory viewpoint about your personality and philosophy, your negative attitude toward people around you about appreciation and understanding or your living and activities, your complaining nature about people not understanding you and your thoughts, your self-pride for your thoughts, your confession about your stand and status.



These lines of the poem are inexpressive and not clear to me, I do not understand what you wish to mean:
This mind
This brain
So much shame
Impossible weights



These lines from the poem are not clear to me, I mean, these are either inexpressive or meaningless to me, and I find, these are controversial and contradictory:
Giving everything hell

Why the God above created me

That there is no god above
At least not one

Reality is becoming quite unclear

Others will be quite immune



Edit:
I Am Sickened Beyond All Repair

(I Am Sickened beyond All Repair)



Edit:
A really deep and dark poem about my life and my impact on the people around me.

(A deep and dark poem about my life and my impact on the people around me)


I do not understand what do you mean by 'a really deep and dark poem' and I think, as I read, I could not find the poem is 'really deep and dark', methinks, you have just mentioned the word 'really' for I find it is a poem and not really a deep and dark poem, maybe it is me, to me, as I understand and feel, it is a poem; I understand, you have used poetic license, but it is to me is inappropriate or redundant here, as I found at the read.




Please check, I have humbly offered my suggestions as edits, for clarity of expression, in the brackets, as above.


Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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Rated: E | (5.0)
Rightly right!



Wonderful! OMG! You have done a fantastic job. I liked your work of poem, a songlike poem, a melodious poem, a poem of humour, a poem about writing poems, a poem about writing in cadence, a poem about failure in writing, a poem about writing block, a poem about rhymes in poems, a poem about rhymes, a poem about Army and writing poem, a poem about wish, a poem about wishes for writing poems, a poem for wishful writing, a poem of writing desire.



I have enjoyed the free flow of thoughts, the story, taletelling, writing blocks, importance and essence of rhymes and repetitions in poem, need of cadence in writing, monologue flavour of expression, style of lyrical expression, importance of diction and cadence in composition of poems, rhymes and rhythms in producing poems, the imagery, word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate, significant and catchy.



Edit:
They say outside the Army,
the writing's mighty fine.
I sit at my computer,
but cannot type a line.

(They say outside the Army
the writing is mighty fine.
I sit at my computer
but cannot type a line.)



Edit:
Oh, Lord, I wanna write,
but I can't get it right.

(Oh, Lord, I wanna write
but I can't get it right.)



Edit:
They say outside the Army,
a writer cannot whine.
Just cobble up some verses -
Who cares that they don't rhyme?

(They say outside the Army
a writer cannot whine.
Just cobble up some verses
but, who cares that they don't rhyme?)



Edit:
They say outside the Army,
your 'Voice' you ought to find,
to tweak your budding stories,
so they end as outlined.

(They say outside the Army
your 'voice' you ought to find
to tweak your budding stories
so they end as outlined.)



Edit:
They say outside the Army,
there's lots of text online.
I'd love to post a story,
so some of it is mine.

(They say outside the Army
there is lots of text online.
I'd love to post a story
so some of it is mine.)



Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, and changed some words, for clarity of expression and smoother read, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this song like poem with us.

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Rated: E | (5.0)
Righteously moral! Wonderful!


OMG! You have done a beautiful job. Indeed, I have liked your poem, a poem of love, a poem of celebration, a poem of positive attitude, a poem about condemning negativity, a poem condemning jealousy, a poem condemning hate, a poem about positive living, a poem about a joyful living, a poem about boomed living, a poem about moral living, a poem of morality, a poem of ethics, a poem of meaningful living, a poem of modest living.



I have enjoyed the story, the message, the prescription, the theme, the taletelling, and the exemplification, the style of expression, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



You have voiced general nature of some ugly, crime mongers, cruel, jealous, and negative attitude goers and prescribed living positively in positive attitude and love for leading a meaningful living and we should help and support good people and make use of qualities of others appropriately.



Title of the poem is appropriate, significant and catchy.



Edit:
We are often ruled by hate,
Jealousy, and negativity –

(We are often ruled by hate
jealousy, and negativity.)



Edit:
The answer to this addiction,
And the way we all should live,
Is to love with all our hearts,
Celebrate, and be positive!

(The answer to this addiction
and the way we all should live
is to love with all our hearts
celebrate, and be positive!)



Edit:
It’s time to love and celebrate
The help and strength of others,
And not be so downcast toward
Our sisters and our brothers…

(It’s time to love and celebrate
the help and strength of others,
and not be so downcast toward
our sisters and our brothers.)



Edit:
Swear a solemn oath to God
To do the very best –
Be quite sincere and faithful,
For love will pass the test!

(Swear a solemn oath to God
to do the very best.
Be quite sincere and faithful
for love will pass the test!)



Edit:
Love and respect are critical,
And joy is a definite must!
For there will be no love for you
If yours is boom or bust…

(Love and respect are critical.
And joy is a definite must!
For there will be no love for you
if yours is boom or bust.)



Edit:
Always find it in your heart
To take this worthwhile chance –
Love all folks, be positive,
And do that victory dance!

(Always find it in your heart.
To take this worthwhile chance
love all folks, be positive
and do that victory dance!)



Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, for clarity of expression and smoother read, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this moral poem with us.





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Rated: E | (5.0)
You have done a nice job.


I have liked your work of poem, a poem of friendship, a poem about friendship, a poem paying tribute to friendship, an ode to friendship, a poem about friendly duty, a poem about self-inflicted strife, a poem of friendly confession, a poem of friendly fellowship, a poem about friendly relation, a poem about friendly sacrifice, a poem of friendship appreciation, a poem of acknowledgement.



I have enjoyed the story, the taletelling, and a free flow of thoughts, imagery, word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is good, significant, correct, though, I find it is metaphorical, not complete, not appropriate, not comprehensive and not catchy. I expect a title of a poem may be complete, comprehensive, compact, catchy and appropriate.



Well done; thank you for sharing this nice poem with us.





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Rated: E | (5.0)
You have done a good job. I have liked the poem, a poem about waiting, poem thinking about summer, a poem about shipping, a poem about the sea, a poem about wiping a tear.



I have enjoyed the story, taletelling, free flow of thoughts, painting of diverse imagery about sitting, waiting and looking at the hillside, thoughts and feelings about Nature and time, some rhymes, word visuals, and the read.



You have used the contest words nicely.



Title of the poem is good and appropriate, but I think, as I read, it is not complete, comprehensive, compact and catchy, while I see it relates to the theme of the poem.



Edit:
awaitin' for the moon,
thinkin' 'bout how summer
(awaitin' for the moon
thinkin' 'bout how summer)


Edit:
I'm shipping out tomorrow,
no longer will I be
sittin' on the hillside,
thinkin' 'bout the sea.

(I'm shipping out tomorrow.
No longer will I be
sittin' on the hillside
thinkin' 'bout the sea.)



Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.




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Rated: E | (4.5)
I see you have done a good job. I liked your work of poem, a poem of truthfulness, a poem about listening, a poem about speaking the truth, a poem about telling, a poem about lying, a poem of choices for living, a poem of passion for living, a poem about readers, a poem about understanding the poems, a poem about attitudes of readers.



About this poem, I write, I have enjoyed the diverse free flow of thoughts, attitudes of readers about the poet and the poems, readers attitudes in understanding and appreciation of the poems, attitudes of telling the truth, attitudes of people about truths written by the poet, volumes of readers’ understanding and estimating truths spoken by the poet, poet’s estimation of readers about truths, the experimental analysis of telling of truths, poet’s attitudes toward readers of his poems, the story, narrative taletelling, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is good and related to the concept of the poem, but, as I read, I think, it is not catchy, and not complete, though I find it is correct if not significant and appropriately comprehensive in terms of the volumes of theme of the poem expressed in the poem, as the title of the poem is imperative in expression, but the poem speaks more about statements.



My favourite lines of the poem:
I could not lie
I have not the time
I speak only the truth
Bent like a spoon
Useful to only fools
Such liars in kind



I like most the lines of the poem:
Resistance has always been my greatest weapon
I understand it better than most
Better than those who try to catch me
If I could speak with any real clarity
Instead of so poetically
I would say, I would shout, I would scream
Always be true



I do not like the lines of the poem:
I am sure that they would not listen
I know that they could not understand
We are similar creatures made different
I have been through hell, I know quite well



Well done; thank you for sharing this nice poem with us.





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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
You have done a good job. Obviously, I liked your work of poem, a poem about bombing, a poem of death event, a poem of eventual death, a poem of cruelty to children, a poem about church bombing.


I have enjoyed the read, flow of thoughts, the story, the pathos expressed, the tragedy shown, the taletelling of the tragic part of the story, the showing part of the cruelty to children, the imagery, and the word visuals.


Title of the poem is good and correct, but I do not find it is complete, comprehensive, and catchy, of course, it is related to the theme and partly significant; I expect a title of a poem is appropriate, significant, complete and catchy.


Edit:
They didn’t see
The corpses, the four
Little girls, good girls,
In church,
Until they were dead.

(They didn’t see
the corpses, the four
little girls, good girls
in church
until they were dead.)


Edit:
Could anyone see
What was coming, the four
little corpses of little girls,
In church,
Silent and dead?

(Could anyone see
the four
little corpses of little girls
in church
silent and dead were coming?)



Edit:
But, now we can see
What had been coming, the four
Little deaths of innocent girls
In the church,
Now dead.

(But, now we can see
what had been coming, the four
little deaths of innocent girls
in the church
now dead.)


Edit:
A pity that they
Died
For their obedience…
But life isn’t fair,
And we don’t always understand why.

(A pity that they
died
for their obedience.
But, life isn’t fair
and we don’t always understand why.)


Edit:
Otherwise we’ll see
Our loved ones, four
Coffins, boys and girls
Who can’t go to church
Because they’re dead.

(Otherwise we’ll see
our loved ones, four
coffins, boys and girls
who can’t go to church
because they’re dead.)



I have offered some suggestions as edits, and changed words, as above, in the brackets, please you may check, for clarity of expressions.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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