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576
576
Review of Broken  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Courtesy costs nothing, buys everything!



OMG! You have done a good job. I liked the work of poem, a poem on courtesy, a poem on good wish, a poem telling sorry, a poem of polite gesture, a poem on civility, a poem on gesture of love, a poem on polity, a poem on politeness, a poem seeking for excuse, a poem expressing excuse, a poem expressing sorry, a poem about broken heart, a poem about change in heart, a poem about change of broken heart.



I enjoyed the story, the love relationship, token of love expression, showing token of love word changes, and the read.



Title of the poem is metaphorically appropriate, but it is not catchy; though I expect a title of a poem may be complete, comprehensive, compact, correct, comprehensive, and catchy. Title of the poem relates to the thematic appreciation of the poem.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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577
577
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Growing older, no wonder!



OMG! You have done a nice job. I liked your work of poem, a poem about growing older, a poem about function of aging, a poem about law of change of time and age.



I enjoyed the free and fast forward flow of thoughts, the story, the taletelling, the concept, the theme, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



I have doubt about the last stanza of the poem, I find no direct relevance of this stanza with the previous ones; I do not assume, as do not like to assume or presume inadvertently, I think, as I read, this stanza is telling something beyond the theme of the poem. I think, there is no relevance of thinking about the problems of youth and how they are regulated, and why the distant memories shine in the sky at night, and I find this thought has no direct link or relevance to the prime thought or theme of the poem.



Title of the poem is good and correct, but it is neither catchy nor appropriate; I always expect a title of a poem may be in addition complete, comprehensive, compact, correct, comprehensible and catchy; though the title of the poem is not beyond the relevance of the theme of the poem.



Edit:
It’s a function of aging
that everything falls apart,
not all at once of course,
but one cell at a time,
and that trivial things
become matters of life and death.

(It’s a function of aging
that everything falls apart
not all at once of course
but one cell at a time
and that trivial things
become matters of life and death.)



Edit:
It’s the trivial,
like doctors offices that provide valet parking
or where you put your keys
when you came home last night,
that become important.

(It’s the trivial,
like doctors’ offices that provide valet parking
or where you put your keys
when you came home last night
that become important.)



Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above.


Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.




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578
578
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A gravedigger’s son
Writing is his passion!



OMG! You have done a good job. I liked the work of poem; a poem about passion, a poem about a gravedigger, a poem about a son dislikes his father’s occupation, a poem about condemning a profession, a poem about disliking occupation of gravedigger.



I enjoyed the free flow of thoughts, the story, the taletelling, the theme, the concept, the viewpoint, the point of view, a son’s attitude toward his father’s occupation, the imagery, the word visuals, philosophy of living, attitudes toward living, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is good, thematically correct, but I do not find it is catchy and complete; though I expect a title of a poem may be in addition, comprehensive, compact, appropriate and significant. Though I find the title of the poem has relevance to the thematic exploration of the poem.



I liked the true feeling exposed in the lines of the poem:
I’m the gravedigger’s son
But I have no interest
In what he has done
Wasted and bloated



I enjoyed the philosophy expressed in the lines of the poem:
No living soul
Should have a grievance
With anyone in a state
Of decomposition



I liked greatly the lines of the poem:
Life it began
Thus it will end



My favourite lines of the poem:
I am willing to confess
That I desire nothing of this
He can keep his macabre kingdom
It’s just not what I wish
So here I am
With my refusal to dig



Edit:
Where any one of them are
(Where any one of them is)



Edit:
Wasted And Bloated
(Wasted and Bloated)



Edit:
My father was the gravedigger in the small New England town I grew up in.Not what I wished
(My father was the gravedigger in the small New England town I grew up in. Not what I wished.)




Please note, I have offered my humble suggestions as edits in the bracket as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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579
579
Review of Great First Lines  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
First lines!



OMG! You have done an educative job. I liked your work. I enjoyed the work you have endeavoured, as I have enjoyed the story, the theme, the say, the message, the tips, the examples, the style of expression, and the read.



I liked and enjoyed all the four examples, they appear some of your great first lines, I think, you have expressed the thoughts catchy and I may consider them great first lines from your works, as you have given reference to the works.



The third of the four first great lines, I think, is most enjoyable, catchy, interesting, entertaining, and it is clear, complete, comprehensive and compact.



The last or fourth first great line is not so catchy, I think, it would not be one of the great first lines, for it is so common, and you know, readers get to know, read, learn, find, see, enjoy something told, said, stated, mentioned, expressed or exposed unusually but simply and commonly, though it is simple but it is not so catchy like the other ones, I think.



The title of the work is appropriate, significant, if not catchy; like the first lines, I think, I expect it may be compact, complete, comprehensive, correct and catchy; the title of the work relates to the theme and is correct.




Well done; thank you for sharing this work with us.





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580
580
Review of Orange Canopies  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
In moonlit night under orange canopies

Sleeping a little mouse!

In peace!



OMG! You have done an educative job. I liked your work of poem, a poem of freedom to living, a poem of liberty to rest, a poem of freedom in sleeping, a poem of liberty to sleep, a poem about free sleeping, a poem about sound safe and secured sleeping, a poem of freedom in sleeping, a poem of free sleeping at night, a poem of sleeping freely at night, a poem of free sleeping at moonlit night, a poem of sleeping at moonlit night, a poem of free sleeping under canopies, a poem about absolute freedom, a poem about freedom in living, a poem about a little mouse, a poem about a little mouse sleeps, a poem about a little mouse sleeps in moonlit night, a poem about peaceful sleeping, a poem about sleeping in peace, a poem about sleeping at night in peace.



I enjoyed the free flow of thoughts, the story, the metaphorical significance, the taletelling, the glow and significance of the theme of the poem, the theme, the imagery, the word visuals, the rhythms, the rhythm in thought and thematic expression, the alliterative approach in expression, the dramatic appeal of the thematic appreciation, how the little mouse made his own bed from an orange rind, the state and status of the mouse on his bed, freedom and peace in which the little mouse sleeps at his own bed, and the read.



Title of the poem is metaphorically correct, right, appropriate, but it is neither catchy, nor complete, comprehensive, compact or comprehensible, though I find, as I read, the title of the poem is relevant to the thematic expression. I expect a title of a poem may be catchy, complete, comprehensive, compact, appropriate, significant and comprehensible.



Edit:
Warm, cozy, and well-fed,
under orange canopies so bright,
Shhh! Little mouse is sleeping tonight.

(Warm, cozy, and well-fed
under orange canopies so bright
shhh! Little mouse is sleeping tonight.)




Please check, I have humbly offered my suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above, for better and smoother read of the poem.




Well done; thank you for sharing this educative poem with us.





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581
581
Review of A Space To Burn  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Well, you have done a good job. I liked your work of poem, a poem about escapism, a poem about leaving things to the flame, a poem about burning things and escaping, a poem of escaping, a poem of conscious escaping, a poem about leaving things to burn, a poem about leaving things to burn and escaping, a poem about ideology of living, a poem about living in escapism, a poem about philosophy of leaving things, a poem about living in appreciation, a poem about self-drawn philosophy of living, a poem about philosophy of living.



I have enjoyed the diverse and fragmented flow of diverse thoughts, the story, the taletelling, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.




My favourite lines of the poem, frank telling of practice of living, a common approach and practice of living, an extraordinary approach in an ordinary state of living, escapism consciously like a common man for self-satisfaction out of living significantly:
As light as a feather
Something that
Regardless of weight
Or lack thereof
Will never find a way
To again escape
I’ll be free as dawn comes
And then
Into another sunset I’ll roam
A space to burn…



I have enjoyed these lines of the poem, much of their straightforward expression, though these are somewhat bizarre for appreciation:
No one will know
No one
But me
And
I’ll never tell
I’ll never return
To this sort of hell



I appreciate these lines of the poem for their practicable sense of living in anticipation:
I’ll dare roam
Changing my fate
Restating
The importance
Of my single existence



Title of the poem is good, metaphorically appropriate, significant, if not catchy; I expect a title of a poem may be compact, comprehensive, complete, catchy and comprehensible; though I find the title of the poem has relevance to the thematic sentiment of the poem.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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582
582
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes and mistakes!
Make you wiser, amazing and clean!



Righteously wonderful!



OMG! You have done a righteous job. I liked your work of essay or non-fiction, a work about mistakes, a work about mistakes in life, a work about mistakes for living a life, a work about contribution of mistakes in life, a work about effects of making mistakes, a work about better living learning by mistakes, a work about clean living through mistakes, a work about wiser living learning by mistakes, a work telling effects of making mistakes, a work telling consequence of mistakes, a work telling results of mistakes in life, a work describing what mistakes do, a work describing how mistakes change life, a work explaining how mistakes change a course of living, a work telling how mistakes can improve status in life, a work telling how mistakes can help making life amazing.



I enjoyed the free, structured, organized and reasoned flow of thoughts, the story, and the positive approach to the thematic appreciation, the positive attitude toward living, the cause and effect of the subject, positive attitude toward living a life, the directives, the message, the theme, the viewpoint, the point of view, the tips, the suggestions, the advice, the directives, the proposals, the descriptions, the illustrations, the taletelling, and the read.



Title of the work is appropriate and significant, if not catchy; I expect title of an essay or non-fiction or article maybe catchy, complete, comprehensive, compact, though I do not think, the title of the work is incorrect, and I find the title is relevant to the theme of the work, anyway, primarily, the title of the work is not catchy.



Edit:
Mistakes make you wiser.
(Mistakes Make You Wiser)



Edit:
Mistakes don't make You damaged, they make you clean.
(Mistakes don't make you damaged, they make you clean.)



Edit:
YOU are your own meaning of BEAUTIFUL!
(You are your own meaning of what is beautiful.)
Or,
(You are your own meaning of beautiful.)



Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above.




Well done; thank you for sharing this work with us.





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583
583
Review of Addiction  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
You have written an unfinished work. I think it is not rational or fair to write a review on an incomplete work, but I am helpless, as the work is placed in public, I may think, you wish a review of your work that you write at an unfinished stage, and writing a review on this work would be a part of my role as a reviewer.



Rightly stated, it is not easy to escape one’s addiction, as man is by nature greedy for everything, so addiction gives satisfaction, as such man is on average prepared to be swayed with addiction; though addiction to drug is not only dangerous but also life taking, and by all means , it should be avoided.



I do not understand what you mean by this -- The High's, the low's. I do not like to assume anything, for I know it is not fair. I find the phrases are not grammatically correct though, rather I would say, it is inexpressive, again, the word ‘High’ is in capital letter, I cannot guess anything about this.



Of course, the jolt of electricity, at the drug addiction, truly, as you have stated, through one’s body gives such feeling, but all that is the fruition of greed of satisfaction, the attraction for the disastrous drug addiction, and helps the addicted person to feel his body like a momentous orgasm, as greed of having such feeling makes one to be addicted to drug, I think, you have rightly described the matter. And if one does not control, he is over run, and greed obviously increase, and the end result is evident, we can think of disaster will cause to the addicted person.



And I find, you have hinted rightly, the deceptive moment has to be discarded off and addiction to be off, yes the fruition or outcome or result or effect of being waved with the greed of more and more satisfaction and enjoyment is common and we can think of it.



Edit:
I think you can not escape the addiction.
(I think you cannot escape the addiction.)



Edit:
The High's, the low's.
(The high's high and the low …...)



Edit:
like an momentous orgasm.

(like a momentous orgasm.)




Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above.



The title of the monologue is good, appropriate but it is not catchy.




Well done; thank you for sharing this monologue with us.





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584
584
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wishing Welcoming inviting!
Happy WDC Birthday Celebrating!



OMG! You have done a commanding job. I liked your work of poem, a poem of wish, a poem of wishing birthday celebration, a poem of inviting to birthday, a poem celebrating birthday, a poem for celebration of birthday, a poem celebrating WDC birthday, a poem for celebrating happy WDC birthday, a poem about progression of WDC, a poem in praise of WDC, a poem about the world of WDC, a poem about resources of WDC, a poem about WDC services, a poem about WDC community, as poem about WDC membership, a poem about WDC writing membership community, a poem welcoming to join WDC, a poem welcoming to WDC community.



I enjoyed the featherlike, free and fast forward flow of thoughts, the theme, the rhymes, the invitation, the celebration, the hopes and the promises, the plans and prospects, the call and invitation to the writing community, the promising features, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate, significant and catchy.



Edit:
Community makes this site great;
Just feel the festive spirit!

(Community makes this site great.
Just feel the festive spirit!)



Edit:
With a poem, a party and a song;
Our heartfelt thanks is due.
Though we appreciate it all year long,
Today we especially say thank you!

(With a poem, a party and a song
our heartfelt thanks is due.
Though we appreciate it all year long
today we especially say thank you!)



Edit:
Our heartfelt thanks is due -
To fellow members and staff.
Today we especially say thank you
For kindnesses, support and laughs.

(Our heartfelt thanks is due
to fellow members and staff.
Today we especially say thank you
for kindnesses, support and laughs.)



Edit:
Let's hear it for WDC -
There's just so much to do!
A literary passion connects you and me
As we read, write and review.

(Let's hear it for WDC.
There's just so much to do!
A literary passion connects you and me
as we read, write and review.)



Edit:
There's just so much to do -
The online writing community.
As we read, write and review,
Creating this sense of unity.

(There's just so much to do
the online writing community.
As we read, write and review
creating this sense of unity.)



Edit:
The online writing community
A place to be creative and play!
Creating this sense of unity -
Let's all celebrate - today's the day!


(The online writing community
a place to be creative and play!
Creating this sense of unity
let's all celebrate - today's the day!)



Obviously, I know the purpose is over, and you may think it is not relevant or important today, treating the work is invalid today; I think value and importance of the work is still considerable, the occasion is over, and I do not think, any editing would be an act of changing or mending or rewriting history, since it is a work and it is still placed for reading in public.



Please note, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, for better read, in the bracket, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this work with us.





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585
585
Review of Life Dance  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Life at 21, 31, 41, 51 state status!
Minutely going to the end status!



This is an exploratory and experimental work with a quest for end state of life, a generalized point of view explored and shared, a reader is assigned with a task to ponder.



OMG! You have done a good job. I liked the work of poem, a poem of life, a poem about life, a poem about status of life, a poem about life at different age, a poem about perspective of life, a poem about looks of life, a poem about outlook of life, a poem about life an existence, a poem about life a cause, a poem about life expectancy, a poem about expectation in life, a poem about recognition to life, a poem about expectation in life, a poem with a quest for life, a poem about meaning of life, a poem about protection of life.




I enjoyed the story, the outline of the story, the quest, the search, the theme, the concept, the taletelling, the monologue flavour of expression, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is metaphorically appropriate, significant, if not catchy; though I expect a title of a poem may be in addition, comprehensive, complete, compact and comprehensible; as I read, I find the title of the poem relates to the thematic appreciation of the poem and it does not appear to me incorrect.



I think, you have not given enough importance to the natural and eternal aspects of life, as you have only shown how life turns changed at certain age, for example, at the age of 21 or 51, while, I think, change is inevitable and natural, the point of view of the same is not considered as a whole.



Edit:
When I was 21,
Life was young and grand.

(When I was 21
life was young and grand.)



Edit:
When I was 31,
life was free and easy.

(When I was 31
life was free and easy.)



Edit:
When I was 41,
life was predictable.

(When I was 41
life was predictable.)



Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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586
586
Review of Honor  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Honor veterans!
Honor connotations!
Honor summations!
Honor exemplifications!




OMG! You have done an honorable job. I liked the work of poem, a poem on honor, a poem of honor, a poem about honor, a poem for honor, a poem upon honor, a poem through honor, a poem to honor, a poem concerning honor, a poem on to honor, a poem in to honor, a poem honor matters, a poem telling honor, a poem describing honor, a poem explaining honor, a poem showing honor, a poem speaking world of honor.




I enjoyed the story, the theme, the concept, the subject, and the viewpoint, the free flow of thoughts, the taletelling, the explanations, the exemplifications, and the connotative descriptions, the conceptions, the misconceptions and the limiting factors of honor, the explorations, the amplifications, the illustrations, the showing, the descriptions, and the style of expression, the point of view, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.




Title of the poem is good, appropriate and significant but it is not catchy; though I find, it has relevance to the theme of the poem, but it is subjective and too formal; I expect a title of a poem may be in addition, comprehensive, compact and complete; not necessarily, I do not say, it is incorrect and incomplete, but I get no catch in the title of the poem.




Edit:
It’s healing wounds inflicted to the body and the heart.
(Its healing wounds inflicted to the body and the heart.)




Edit:
They live the oaths they've taken and will not betray
their vows this great nation in what they say and do.

They live the oaths they've taken and will not betray
their vows to this great nation in what they say and do.





Edit:
Their stalwart devotion deserves more than a “thank you.”
(Their stalwart devotion deserves more than a ‘thank you’.)




Edit:
An entry for January Round of "HONORING OUR VETERANS"
(An entry for January 2014 Round of "HONORING OUR VETERANS")




Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above.




Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.






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587
587
Review of Battle #1  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
No wonder!


It happens. We have made infinite mistakes so far before. I do remember the adage – to err is human, to forgive is divine.



Nice it is that you have not been reminded by anyone before. You could not begin the battle, I mean; you could not perform your assignment on task since July 23, 2017.



The matter is Game of Thrones 2017; but whither is the babble list?



Battle before August 2017 and with house, and it was not easy enough to go for, but somehow you have missed, I mean, you slipped; but you may have checked in or out or at least visited or cared to remember about the assignment or task after 23rd July; it is never bad, many of us do like this, but it is not appreciable indeed.



In absence of your words, how to proceed, seems it is not easy enough to offer my view, opinion, and it would be farce going for writing a review.



I do not like to assume or guess, but for the sake of doing so, I may think, if it is intentional, it is fantastic and you have done a job that a reader can fall in the oceans of thoughts and imaginations to guess into the fact; I am afraid, I do not like to lose my time, resources, just making a wild guess.



I dare not offer you any suggestion or advice, courteously and politely I may request you to visit your own post and do what whatever you would feel deem needful and help protect the grace of the site, because I think, it is not wise to befool your readers and you know, as you sow, so you will reap, and you being wise, you know, every action has its equal and opposite reaction, so please take action as you would think right, fair or needful.



Title of the work may be correct, appropriate but I do not think it is complete, comprehensive, compact and catchy.



Wish to read the post once you post it rightly.



Well done; thank you for sharing this blank work with us.





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588
588
Review of Alcoholic  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Drunken promises!
No alcohol from tomorrow!



OMG! You have done a nice job. I liked your work of poem, a poem of drunken promise, a poem about a drunkard, a poem about an alcoholic, a poem of alcoholic promise.



I enjoyed the story, the free and fast forward flow of thoughts, a monologue, the dramatic promise of a drunkard, the comedy of drunkard words, humour of consciousness of alcohol consumption, the taletelling of a drunkard promise, and the funny drunk words of stop consuming alcohol from tomorrow, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is good, appropriate, significant and correct, but it is not catchy; I expect a title of a poem may be, in addition, compact, complete and comprehensive.



Edit:
Drinks for all around the bar,
as happy shouts reverberate.
Who knows what will happen next,
with one too many down the hatch.

(Drinks for all around the bar
as happy shouts reverberate.
Who knows what will happen next
with one too many down the hatch.)



Edit:
Morning light blinds my eyes;
the alarm startles like the truth.
another ale goes into stomach’s pit,
Just to settle my queasiness.

(Morning light blinds my eyes
the alarm startles like the truth.
Another ale goes into stomach’s pit
just to settle my queasiness.)



Edit:
Hangovers loom every day,
and my boss screams in my ears,
“You’re fired, you drunk!”
an ugly truth now.

(Hangovers loom every day
and my boss screams in my ears
“you’re fired, you drunk!”
an ugly truth now.)



Edit:
I’m an alcoholic who cannot stop;
all I need is one more.

(I’m an alcoholic who cannot stop
all I need is one more.)



Edit:
I sit in a cell, my new home now,
wondering how I got here.
Was it worth it in the end.
to have one more drink?

(I sit in a cell, my new home now
wondering how I got here.
Was it worth in the end
to have one more drink?)



Edit:
I’m an alcoholic who cannot stop;
all I need is one more.

(I’m an alcoholic who cannot stop
all I need is one more.)



Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, as there is no author’s note about your style of expression, for better read, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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589
589
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Fools ate poison!
Squawk without reason!


Interesting! Entertaining!



OMG! You have done a news work. I liked your work of poem (limerick), a limerick on Dick and Jane, a limerick on two fools, a limerick on two morning walkers, a limerick on two walkers, a limerick on walkers squawking, a limerick on innocent poison eaters, a limerick on two casual poison eaters, a limerick on two strange toadstool eaters, a limerick on toadstool eating walkers, a limerick on poison eating talkers.



I enjoyed the story, catchy beginning, interesting middle, interesting climax and curious ending and fantastic taletelling, two foolish talking walkers ate poison and squawking at the end, the fascinating imagery, word visuals, the comedy, the dramatic climax, the flavour of tragedy, and the read.



Title of the poem is good but not catchy, and I find, the word Limerick appears casual and inappropriate; I expect a title of a poem (limerick) may be catchy as well complete, comprehensive and compact, rather, I think, the word ‘Limerick’ is redundant in the title of the limerick, it appears to me telling more than showing, as such I do not find the title is appropriate or significant. I would wish to mention this limerick has element of a poem, I think, it may also be called a good poem in rhymes, obviously though, for non-sense or inferior thematic approach makes it a true limerick, as people say, a poem is not necessarily to have such non-sensuous taletelling.



Well done; thank you for sharing this wonderful limerick with us.






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590
590
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well, you have done a good job. I liked the work of poem, a poem of love, a poem telling a love story, a poem telling love in appreciation, a poem tells unforgettable, unbreakable and unending love relation and love feeling.



I enjoyed the free and fast forward of thoughts, the story, a monologue flavour of taletelling of the love story in maturation and conclusion, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate, significant if not catchy.



My favourite lines of the poem:
When she expires
We may see each other
Maybe in Heaven
Maybe in hell




I liked much the lines of the poem:
Even if she returned
Even if she came back
I’m not sure
That I could again love her



I liked most the lines of the poem:
All that has been broken
Dare I say, by you…




Edit:
A special poem close to my heart about love the first time around. As I See it.
(A special poem close to my heart about love the first time around, as I see it.)



Edit:
Behind My Lips For You
(Behind My Lips for You)



Please check, I have humbly offered my suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this love poem with us.





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591
591
Review of The River Bend  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
You have done a nice job. I liked this work of poem, a poem about a river bend, a poem about a terrible river, a poem about a poem about an unforgiving river, a poem about a river bend you walked on way to school.



I enjoyed the free flow of thoughts, the story, and taletelling of the unforgiving river, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



You have nicely expressed your feelings, experiences of feeling scared, and your high concern about the river bend where so many boys and girls died on their way to and from their school. And quite naturally your parents expressed their high concern about the river bend you had to cross on your way to school.



Title of the poem is appropriate and significant if not catchy.



Edit:
A special poem about a path that I use to walk as a child that gave me time to think.
(A special poem about a path I used to walk as a child that gave me time to think.)



Edit:
When I was ten
Just a kid
I use to walk a path

(When I was ten
just a kid
I used to walk a path)



Edit:
In my hypersensitive head
I would contemplates such things
(In my hypersensitive head
I would contemplate such things)



Edit:
And what would I say to God above
I would speculate my parent’s feelings

(And what I would say to God above
I would speculate my parent’s feelings)



My favourite lines of the poem:
For many years I walked that path
Thinking, broadening, careful introspection
All became part of my survival mechanism
Many crude ideas were created
There along the shore



Please check, I have humbly offered my suggestions as edits, for clarity of expression, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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592
592
Review of "FIRE"  
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Fine!


You have done a nice job.


I liked the work of your poem, a poem about fire of the spirit.



I enjoyed the flow of thoughts, the theme, the message, dimension of thoughts and feelings, aspirations and expectations of fire of the spirit.



Title of the poem is good, appropriate, if not catchy.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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593
593
Review of Sad Word Goodbye  
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Rated: E | (4.0)
You have done a nice job. I liked your work of poem, a poem about making peace, a poem about saying goodbye, a poem paying tribute to mother, a poem about peace, a poem about goodbye, a poem about living.



I enjoyed the story, flow of thoughts, good state of imagery, word visuals, monologue flavour of expression about living and appreciation of living, taletelling about making peace and saying word goodbye to mother, and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, but it is not catchy, though I find it is partly related to the theme of the poem, and it is not complete, comprehensive, or compact as I expect a title of a poem may be significant, appropriate and complete, comprehensive, compact and catchy; I liked the title is correct though.




I do not understand the relevance and relation of the following lines, and truly speaking, I fail to understand what you exactly wish to say in the lines; moreover, I do not like the lines, I think, the lines are redundant and lessened the grip and grace of the poem, and I think, the lines are not expressive to me:

For you it was always
About something unknown
For me it will always
Be about believing
Not in you of course
But in something greater
Than the power that you
Use to hold over my head
Like a ton of bricks




I liked much the lines of the poem:
And you, my mother
Gave me this life
Such a reluctant gift
You did not want to give
You died without me
You died most alone



I liked most the lines of the poem:
I came here to cry
I came here to try
My intention is to offer
The smallest of a white lie



My favourite lines of the poem:
Peace is both simultaneously
My salvation and redemption



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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594
594
Review of Melons  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Succulent days follow hard days!
Life must be enjoyable!



OMG! You have done a nice job. I liked your work of poem, a poem hoping for brighter days, a poem hoping for enjoyable days, a poem of lively living, a poem in appreciation of living, a poem about living, a poem about complete sense of living, a poem about philosophy of living, a poem of aspects of living, a poem in hope for living, a poem about life, a poem about living a life, a poem about appreciation of living a life, a poem about enjoyable living, and a poem of hope for living.



I enjoyed the natural and free flow of thoughts, the story, the imagery, the word visuals and the read.



Title of the poem is good, but it is not appropriate and significant; as I read, the title of the poem is not catchy, rather it is symbolic, if not metaphorical; it may be subjective, though I find it has a relevance to the theme in essence; I expect a title of a poem may be complete, comprehensive, compact, catchy, in addition to appropriate and significant.



Edit:
In the darkest of nights
Seems as if all light has escaped the horizon.
Wanting to capture the sun,
in the palm of our hand.
To be reminded some light remains.
Though the night seems infinite,
we will always have light in our grasp.

(In the darkest of nights
seems as if all light has escaped the horizon.
Wanting to capture the sun
in the palm of our hand.
To be reminded some light remains.
Though the night seems infinite
we will always have light in our grasp.)



Edit:
Hiding in the orange blanket of melons
to never be deceived by the cold nights ahead.
The succulent taste of brighter days to come.

(Hiding in the orange blanket of melons
never to be deceived by the cold nights ahead
the succulent taste of brighter days to come.)

- The style of expression in the lines above is nice and it is poetic, but I find it is hard to edit, because I cannot change the lines to hurt you, though the style is appreciable.



Please check, I have humbly offered my suggestions as edits, as they were feasible, keeping your style of expression intact, in the brackets, as above, for smoother read.



Well done; thank you for sharing the poem with us.





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595
595
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well, you have done a nice job. I liked your work of poem, very nicely composed, in the form, a double Sedoka, as required, with a syllable count of 5 7 7 5 7 7, 5 7 7 5 7 7 7, a poem about memories of Thanksgiving, a poem in memory of Thanksgiving.



I enjoyed the story, memories in tiers, enjoying the Thanksgiving Days in family, the free flow of thoughts, the imagery, the word visuals and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, if not catchy.



There is no author’s notes about your style of expression of the poem.



Edit:
A Thanksgiving past
Turkey and oyster dressing
Grandma baked the pumpkin pie
Mama whipped the cream
Grandpa always blessed the meal
He intoned our gratitude

(A Thanksgiving past
turkey and oyster dressing
grandma baked the pumpkin pie
mama whipped the cream
grandpa always blessed the meal
he intoned our gratitude.)



Edit:
A Thanksgiving past
We gathered in the kitchen
And not in a dining room
Mom's cranberry sauce
Made with the whole cranberry
Memories of Thanksgiving

(A Thanksgiving past
we gathered in the kitchen
and not in a dining room
mom's cranberry sauce
made with the whole cranberry
memories of Thanksgiving.)



Please check, I have humbly offered my suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above, for smoother read of the poem.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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596
596
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a finer experimental expression of experience, feeling about people and people’s attitude toward you, as such it is not so easy to appreciate and understand the essence of your expression that makes this work of this poem.



Well, you have done a nice job. I liked the endeavour.



Title of the poem is appropriate, significant, if not catchy, though I find the title of the poem is correct, complete, comprehensive and compact, in addition, subjective and relevant to the theme of the poem.



I do not under these lines, I tried but I could not find out the relation, and the relevance to the message, if any, of the poem, and about the theme of the poem, and I think I need your clarifications, and hope, you would never disappoint me from having your words about these lines.

for then to realize it was their face.
For then to realize the blood that drips
is like time
you will never get back.
The time wasted on
thinking.
Just, thinking.



I think I do not get clear idea about the concept you expressed in the lines of the poem:

Did anyone I love
ever love me back?



But I get some idea about your thinking, the concept of the poem that you are thinking about those whom once you loved and disowned, whether they loved you and or disowned you.



Edit:
The people whom I had loved
and the people whom had loved me.
But,
Did anyone I love
ever love me back?

(The people whom I loved
and the people who loved me
but,
did anyone I love
ever love me back?)



Edit:
Once I found a place to sit, I thought.
(Once I found a place to sit, I thought)




Please check, I have humbly offered my suggestions as edits, and changed (deleted some words, for instance) words, for better expression and smoother read, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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597
597
Review of Static.  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
You have done a good job. I appreciate your endeavour composing this work of poem. I liked the poem; I find it is something funny though.



You experienced with the static television, then dreamt of a dream and in the dream again you find the grass static, it is a bit chaotic and somewhat funny, though I find your theme is well expressed, because everything and nothingness and the state of static state everywhere around haunts you, again this is not beyond something to think of it funny.



Title of the poem is good, but it is not catchy, though I find, it has relevance to the theme of the poem, and it is correct. Interestingly enough, I liked the title of the poem because it has some mystic state.



Edit:
Static.
(Static)



Edit:
The Television played static.
Black,
grey and
white
flashed across the screen in a disorderly pattern, every
second.
I grabbed the remote and hit the power button until the television
stopped,
and receded to a black nothingness.
I read. I read for hours.


(The television played static.
Black
grey and
white
flashed across the screen in a disorderly pattern, every
second.
I grabbed the remote and hit the power button until the television
stopped
and receded to a black nothingness)



I read. I read for hours.
- I do not understand this line; I do not know what you wish to mean in this line, and again, I do not find any relevance of this line here; I mean, what you read is not mentioned, and being a reader, I do not like to guess.



The sky was nothing, the sky was static.
The grass was nothing, the grass was static.
- I do not understand what you wish to mean through these lines; I think the idea is not expressible and I fail to make out the actual meaning and explanation in these lines.



Edit:
Everything was nothing, everything was static,
and that slight noise a television makes
when it goes to static
haunts me.

(Everything was nothing, everything was static
and that slight noise a television makes
when it goes to static.
It haunts me.)



Please check, I have humbly offered my suggestions as edits, and changed some words, for better expression and smoother read, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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598
598
Review of NOT AS HAPPY AS U  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
You have done a fine job. I like you work of poem, a poem about life, a poem about living a life, a poem about appreciation of life, a poem understanding a life, a poem about understanding the essence of a life, a poem describing living a life.



I enjoyed the stories about life, the free flow of thoughts, taletelling of stories in appreciation of life, the morality of the stories, the message and thematic explanations of the stories on lives, the causal inspiration for living a life, dimensions and varieties of experiences in living a life, the comparative features of experiences from dimensions of living a life, attitudes toward a life, aspirations about living a life, the imageries, the word visuals and the read.



My favourite lines of the poem:
Somewhere a poor dad
Silently cries,
When he sees his son
Begging for a bowl of rice.



My most liked lines of the poem:
Somewhere far
At the border
When a soldier sleeps,
Missing his loved ones
He silently weeps.



Title of the poem is appropriate, significant and catchy.



Edit:
NOT AS HAPPY AS U
(Not As Happy As You)
- I think, as I read, and I find, you are not consistent in keeping your style of expression, there is mix of use of both capital and small letters in the poem, and I think, there is no worth using a title of a poem in all capital letters with mix of abbreviation, I understand everyone across the world has right to expression and freedom of expression, to me, it is not even use of your poetic license, it is not appreciable, so I have offered my humble suggestion, and I know, none on earth is perfect, and I know my limitations, I cannot speak the last word on anything, maybe I am wrong, but it is a relative term, I have just expressed my thoughts.


Edit:
Sometimes in life
We feel so blue,
But someone, somewhere
is not as happy as U.

(Sometimes in life
we feel so blue
but, someone, somewhere
is not as happy as you.)



Edit:
Somewhere far
At the border
When a soldier sleeps,
Missing his loved ones
He silently weeps.

(Somewhere far
at the border
when a soldier sleeps,
missing his loved ones
he silently weeps.)



Edit:
Somewhere a mother
Painfully sighs,
Coz
Her new born baby
Didn't open her eyes.

(Somewhere a mother
painfully sighs.
Because
her new born baby
didn't open her eyes.)



Edit:
Somewhere a poor dad
Silently cries,
When he sees his son
Begging for a bowl of rice.

(Somewhere a poor dad
silently cries
when he sees his son
begging for a bowl of rice.)



Edit:
Somewhere
In an orphanage
A little girl's sad,
When she misses her
mom n dad.

(Somewhere
in an orphanage
a little girl is sad
when she misses her
mom n dad.)



Edit:
So at times ...
A reason to smile
U may not have any,
Say to yourself that ...
U're happier than many.

(So at times,
a reason to smile
you may not have any
say to yourself that
you are happier than many.)



Edit:
‘Cause

Life is beautiful and
it is not always blue
and someone somewhere
is not as happy as you.

Let us love life. )
Or,
Let’s love life.



Edit: This is the description part of the poem given under the title of the poem
Lets love life..
(Let’s love life)
This is another type of expression of the same sentence, so it is also considered under editing.


Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits and changed some words, added and deleted some words, for clarity of expression and smoother read, in the brackets, as above.


Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.




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599
599
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Yeah, you have done simply a nice job. I like the work of poem, a work on darkness, a work about darkness, a work on, onto and about darkness, a work on nature and state of darkness, a work on characteristic of darkness, a monologue on and about darkness, a monologue about the nature of darkness, a monologue appreciating darkness, a monologue about feeling and appreciation of darkness, a work about dispersal of darkness, a work about identifying true nature of darkness.



I enjoyed the story on, about and of darkness, the flow of thoughts, narration of the story, the beginning and end of the story, the climax and resolution of the story, true experience and proper identification of darkness, existence and place of existence of darkness as a feeling, imagery about the state of darkness, the word visuals on appreciation of darkness, and the read.



Title of the work is appropriate, significant if not catchy. I find, as I read, the title of the work is subjective, thematic and related to the theme, as you stated, naturally and evidently, circumstantially and practically, truly and really, you have no other alternatives but to give in to darkness as you feel and find you yourself are the darkness, so the title is significant and correct, complete and comprehensive that I expect in a title of a work, though I always expect a title may also be catchy at the same time, but title of this work is not catchy, I think and find, but I appreciate your experimentation and exploration about the state of feeling darkness and obviously, I find you have done the work poetically, so I may term it a poem.



Edit:
There's a darkness in me ,
a Darkness I struggle to fight .
It keeps on calling me ,
Pulling me deeper and deeper .
With the struggle getting more intense .
I fear for my sanity .

(There's darkness in me.
Darkness I struggle to fight.
It keeps on calling me.
Pulling me deeper and deeper
with the struggle getting more intense.
I fear for my sanity.)


- Darkness is a state and it is not countable, so I have deleted the word 'a' before the word 'darkness'.



Edit:
Getting lost inside the darkness of my own mind ,
Fearing no return .
Fighting to stay sane ,
But with pain , stress , worries and fear ,

(Getting lost inside the darkness of my own mind
fearing no return,
fighting to stay sane
but, with pain, stress, worries and fear.)



Edit:
The darkness spreads like a plaque inside of my mind .
Failing to stop it , or even slow it down .
I start giving in , excepting it .
By giving in and excepting it ,

(The darkness spreads like a plaque inside of my mind.
Failing to stop it, or even slow it down.
I start giving in, excepting it.
By giving in and excepting it,)



Edit:
I start understanding it ,
Understanding the reason why it's there .
For if it was not for that darkness in my mind .
I would siege to exit .
The darkness is more than I thought ,
For the darkness is me .

(I start understanding it,
Understanding the reason why it's there.
For if it was not for that darkness in my mind.
I would siege to exit.
The darkness is more than I thought
for the darkness is me.)



Edit:
I am darkness , with almost no more light .
I will exit from only dark .
Fully excepting the darkness in me .
I became the darkness .
Darkness is me .
I am darkness .{/i}{/center}{/i}

(I am darkness with almost no more light.
I will exit from only dark.
Fully excepting the darkness in me
I became the darkness.
Darkness is me.
I am darkness.)



Please check, I have humbly offered my suggestions and included some words changes, added and deleted some words and deleted some unwanted signs, as edits in the brackets, as above, for clarity of expression and smoother read.



Well done; thank you for sharing this work of poem with us.





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600
600
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
At the outset, I would like to thank you for writing on the subject and sharing the work with us.



The subject is really interesting to me.



You have done a nice job. Indeed, I do appreciate your endeavour. I like your work of monologue, philosophy of the terms probability and possibility, philosophy of probability, philosophy of possibility.



I enjoyed the flow of thoughts, exemplification and elucidation of probability and possibility in a word, order of expression and sharing of experience of feeling the philosophy of probability and possibility in examples, brevity in appreciation of the terms – probability and possibility, the story about meaning of the words - possibility and probability, discussion of probability and possibility in brief, and the read.



Rightly you have stated you feel scared of possibility more than that of probability.
You say possibility means feasibility, likelihood, plausibility, potentiality, practicability, workableness, chance, risk, odds, prospect, liability, hazard, option, choice, alternative, solution, bet, course of action, recourse, conceivability, achievability, attainability, potential, potency, and the like.



You express probability means prospect, presumption, likeliness, fair chance, sporting chance, fat chance, slim chance, joint probability, risk of exposure, risk, risk of infection, and the like.




Title of the monologue is appropriate and catchy.




Well done; thank you once again for sharing this monologue about probability and possibility with us.





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