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551
551
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Health is wealth!

Time goes on, is precious!

Love family!

Better human!



OMG! You have done a nice job.



I have liked your work, a work – New Year’s resolutions, a work – list of resolutions, work – resolutions on New Year, a work – four dimensional resolutions, a work – four dimensional new year’s promises, a work – resolutions on health, a work – resolutions on time management, a work – resolutions on family love, a work – resolutions on attitude toward people, a work – resolutions about psychological development, a work – resolutions about time management skill development, a work – resolutions about maintaining a healthy living, a work – resolutions about sound and strong healthy living, a work – resolutions about no addiction living, a work – resolutions on addiction free living, a work – resolutions for diet controlled living, a work – resolutions about good loved living, a work – New Year’s resolutions with monitoring plan.



I have enjoyed the story, the theme, the resolutions, the list with notes and remarks, the resolutions and words to follow, monitor, control and manage performance on achievement and fulfillment of the resolutions, the words on keeping track of progress and activation of the resolutions, the realistic and practicable resolutions with management plan, the real action resolutions and no dreamful or dreamy resolutions, and the read.



Title of the work is appropriate, significant, and correct if not catchy; I expect a title of a work maybe, in addition, appealing, attractive, comprehensible, complete, memorable, pleasant, tricky and unforgettable. Though, I find, as I read, the content of the work has relevance to the theme of the work. Interestingly enough, I do not find any resolution about your career, occupation or profession or occupational development, I mean, there is no resolutions made or taken about your occupation.



My favourite of the resolutions in the work:
Think before I open my big mouth.



Well done; thank you for sharing this work with us.





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552
552
Review of Positive Thinking  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Be a positive thinker!
Build character!




OMG! You have done a nice job.



I have liked the poem, a poem about building character, a poem about courage, a poem about positive thinking, a poem about faith, a poem about learning living, a poem about acceptance of outcomes of failure, a poem about building one’s character, a poem about achievement of success, a poem about struggling for survival, a poem about combating rivalry, a poem about braveness in living, a poem about taking courage in living, a poem about learning by mistakes, a poem about learning living looking into mistakes, a poem keeping hope for living, a poem about keeping hope for positive living, a poem importance of positive living, a poem about significance living in positivity, a poem about cherishing values in living, a poem about calibrating values in living, a poem about learning living through positive thinking, a poem about positive living in appreciation, a poem in appreciation of positive living, a poem about courageous living, a poem about courageous positive living, a poem with lessons in positive living.




I have enjoyed the story, the moral message, the ethical and rational message, the stand and state of positive living, the exemplification and showing the use of positive living, the discussion and lessons in positive thinking and living, the warning and limitations in living, the imagery, the word visuals, the dramatic appeal of the positive living in reality, the free and fair flow of thoughts, the rhymes, the rhythms in taletelling of the theme, and the read.




Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, if not catchy; the title is subjective, traditional, common, textual and informative; I expect a title of a poem maybe, in addition, comprehensive, comprehensible, correct, complete, compact and catchy. The title of the poem gives readers a view about a lesson to be taught, a lesson on positive thinking or positive living and you know, very few readers would be interested to learn one more lesson, but when anything is told in a catchy order and spirit with some newness, for we all run after learning, seeing, experiencing, reading and watching new, anything we think would be new, something new, newness of anything appeals and becomes catchy to readers, I think, feeling for newness, freshness is always catchy and can hook readers for the read of the work, because, I think, people (readers) do not feel interested to read and learn anything comes as a lesson as if a teacher teaches a subject and a learner loses interest freely, unless there is compulsion.




Edit:
One hopes to build a character of force,
By accepting much failure, as a matter of course.
Upon acceptance of the outcomes of failure,
One’s positive thoughts begin building one’s character.

(One hopes to build a character of force
by accepting much failure, as a matter of course.
Upon acceptance of the outcomes of failure
one’s positive thoughts begin building one’s character.)




Edit:
No single achievement is quite like success,
Nor a collection of efforts, under ample duress;
But to win and to lead, by stalwart example,
Is productive and pure, and can stomp any rival!

(No single achievement is quite like success
nor a collection of efforts, under ample duress
but, to win and to lead, by stalwart example
is productive and pure, and can stomp any rival!)




Edit:
The example of winning and leading pertain
To courage and hope, like a steaming freight train…
We must bravely lead that similar cast,
Armed with the glory and mistakes of the past…

(The example of winning and leading pertain
to courage and hope, like a steaming freight train.
We must bravely lead that similar cast
armed with the glory and mistakes of the past.)




Edit:
Positive thinking takes courage and hope;
One proudly says “Yep!” though the answer is “Nope.”
Failing, yet healthy, one can say “What the heck!” –
Bucking those broncos can sure break one’s neck!

(Positive thinking takes courage and hope
one proudly says, “Yep!”, though the answer is “Nope.”
Failing, yet healthy, one can say “What the heck!”
bucking those broncos can sure break one’s neck!)




Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, for smoother read of the poem, in the brackets, as above.




Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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553
553
Review of Loy's Faux Pas  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Dance blunder!
Made her about pissing, no wonder!



QMG! You have done a nice job.
I have liked your work of limerick (poem), a limerick about dancing, a limerick about social blunder, a limerick about dance blunder, a limerick about graceful dance blunder, a limerick about Loy’s mistake in dance steps, a limerick telling a dance mistake.



I enjoyed the story, the comedy of mistake in dancing, the comedy taletelling mistake as social blunder, the lesson, the message, the theme, the imagery, the word visuals, the art and style of taletelling, using the word ‘pisstivity’ at par with poetic licence, the state and status of feeling sad about making mistake in dancing, ironic and comical use of the phrase ‘pinnacle of pisstivity’, and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate, ironically and comically phrased making the word significant, but I do not find the title is catchy; I expect a title of a limerick or poem may be comprehensive, comprehensible, correct, complete and catchy; though, I find the title is relative to the theme and thematic appreciation of the poem.



Well done; thank you for sharing this limerick with us.





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554
554
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Acrostic!
Wish terrific!




OMG! You have done a nice job. I have liked your work of poem, a poem of love’s labour lost, a poem about love lost, a poem on departure of love, a poem love in memory, a poem remembering love, a poem about shedding tears, a poem of bidding goodbye, a poem departing love, a poem goodbye love, a poem of promise, a poem about not looking back promise, a poem of love in appreciation, a poem hurting love.




I enjoyed the story, the free flow of thoughts, the taletelling of waving love for good, the monologue flavour of taletelling the love story, stand of words about forgetting love, the word of promise for leaving love, casual viewpoint about forgoing love, realistic gaining at the loss of love experience on experimental point and matter of consideration, a thoughtful desire of experiencing the effect at the instance of loss of love, the imagery, the word visuals, the acrostic capitalization of the title, the thematic percolation in acrostic breadth and style of expression at par with the thematic message of the poem, and the read.




Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, if not catchy; I expect, a title of a poem may be, in addition, comprehensible, comprehensive, compact, complete, correct, and catchy; though the title is relevant to the theme and the thematic appreciation of the poem.



Edit:
Tired and weary eyes,
Hurt is what I know.

(Tired and weary eyes
Hurt is what I know.)



Edit:
Over my head,
Under my heart,
The courage bled;
Love does depart.

(Over my head
Under my heart
The courage bled
Love does depart.)



Edit:


Often I wonder;
Often I feel,
Kisses I ponder,
I focus on the real.

(Often I wonder
Often I feel
Kisses I ponder
I focus on the real.)




Though each line of the poem is not necessarily grammatically expressive, but taking into consideration of making the poem in the style of acrostic form of expression, the poetic licence is likely to be used, as it has been done, I think, and I have avoided offering my suggestions, giving importance to the order of keeping and maintaining the stand of acrostic form of expression, I had to waive editing in order to keep the acrostic stand and keeping the pleasantness in read of the poem.


Please check, I have humbly offered only some suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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555
555
Review of Men suffer too  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Brest cancer to a man!
Brest also gifted to a man!




OMG! You have done a righteous job. I liked your work of poem; a poem paying tribute to your friend, a poem paying tribute, a poem about a friend, a poem about a breast cancer death, a poem about death of a man had breast cancer.




I enjoyed the story, pathos of the story highlighted, narrative taletelling of the storyline, use of alliterations, and echo effect of taletelling, the exaltation of the friend, the imagery, the word visuals, the rhymes, and the read.




Title of the poem is appropriate, significant and catchy; though, I expect, in addition, a title of a poem may be comprehensive, comprehensible, correct and complete; I do not say, the title of the poem is incorrect and incomplete but it is partially complete.




My favourite lines of the poem:
Still it was cancer that filled your breast
We all know you did your best.




Edit:
Dear Earl my good friend
You fought the battle to the end
You were a man with cancer of the breast
You fought hard and passed the test.

(Dear Earl, my good friend
you fought the battle to the end.
You were a man with cancer of the breast
you fought hard and passed the test.)




Edit:
You were the best counselor there ever was
You did your job without a fuss
You provided many with a second chance
Yet none could change your circumstance.

(You were the best counselor there ever was
you did your job without a fuss
you provided many with a second chance
yet, none could change your circumstance.)




Edit:
Many said "But he's a man
How could he have cancer" they began
Still it was cancer that filled your breast
We all know you did your best.

(Many said, "but he was a man
how he could have cancer," they began.
Still, it was cancer that filled your breast
we all know you did your best.)




Edit:
You were a great friend and man
Defeating cancer is the plan.
(You were a great friend and man
defeating cancer was the plan.)




Edit:
Men suffer too
(Men Suffer Too)




Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions and changed and deleted some words as edits, in the brackets, as above, for better and smoother read of the poem.




Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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556
556
Review of Every Darkness  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Well, I see, you have done a good job.


I liked your work of poem (free verse poetry), a poem about calling death, a poem about inviting death, a poem about living in pain, a poem about living in torment, a poem telling thought inviting death, a poem approaching death.



I have enjoyed the story, the free, fast and diverse flow of thoughts, and taletelling about proposing and inviting death, monologue flavour of taletelling about calling death after a life of torment and pain, personifying the calling of death, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.
Title of the poem is metaphorically appropriate, if not catchy; I expect a title of a poem, in addition, may be compact, comprehensible, correct, complete, comprehensive, and catchy; though, I think, the title is not correct and complete and directly relevant to the theme and thematic appreciation of the poem.




My favourite lines of the poem:
The wolf
That I called
The one so near
Will move on
Far away
He’ll feel no shame
For he is all beast




Though I liked the following lines and enjoyed the read but I find there is a deviation of thought from the storyline, there is a feeling that you know what you will do after the death and it has been a bit confusing in terms of the theme of the poem, and I find, the calling of death appears a comedy in this portion of expression:
He is here to kill
I’m here to die
I’ll fill his gut
For a brief time
Soothing the ache
Not an ounce
Will he dare waste
As soon as he’s done
He’ll move on
I will not




In the following lines, you have controversial viewpoint about death, as if you had experience of having death previously, I mean, you say, you already have experience of death; again, you state it is a part of your game – calling death; you say, you have already played the game, it means you have received death earlier, again, you say, you have lost never, though you were meant to win and you tried many a times, and you know, as you state here, calling death is a sin; though I beg to differ there is nothing like ‘true sin’ because sin is sin and there is no true or false sin, for sin cannot be explained like true sin or false sin or fake sin or anything like that:

The game
Dangerous
I’ve played
And I’ve lost
Never
Was I meant to win
Trying was
And has always been
My one true sin




In the following lines of the poem, I find, the message is not clear to me, when you are calling death and death will come from God, the question of forgiving the devil by God does not arise, and further, the question of God’s embracing darkness is irrelevant, when you call death and when you know God is to give you death; the matter or point of God’s embrace of darkness and the point of forgiving the devil by God does not come into consideration:

God
Won’t forgive
The devil
Won’t embrace
Darkness




Edit:
His soul
Non existent

(His soul
Non-existent)




Edit:
18+ A shorter poem about calling death to my side after a life of pain and torment
(18+ A poem about calling death to my side after a life of pain and torment)

Or,
(For 18+ A short poem about calling death to my side after a life of pain and torment)



Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.






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by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber
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557
557
Review of Lonely Times  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Love in vision!



OMG! You have done a good job. I have liked your work of poem (free verse poetry), a poem of love, a poem of love vision, a poem of feelings for love, a poem of love feelings, a poem of wish, a poem of love wish, a poem wishing love, a poem wish for love, a poem of love feeling in vision, a poem love in vision, a poem wish for love in vision, a poem for love vision, a poem of lonely time, a poem of lonesome time, a poem of love in lonely time, a poem wish for love in lonely time, a poem of love thought lonely in vision, a poem of love feelings thought in isolation, a poem of love in appreciation, a poem of love appreciation, a poem of love thoughts in isolation.




I have enjoyed the story, the free flow of thoughts, the taletelling about love in lonely time, the steps and dimensions of love in appreciation, dimensions of love feeling in appreciation, state of love feeling in vision, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.




Title of the poem is appropriate, if not catchy; I expect a title of a poem may be, in addition, comprehensible, comprehensive, compact, complete, correct, and catchy. Though, I find, the title of the poem is metaphorically correct and appropriate.




Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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558
558
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Two faces make cases!



OMG! You have done a nice job. I have liked your work of poem (free verse poetry), a poem about a man with two faces.



I have enjoyed the story, the taletelling, use of alliterations, and peculiarities of a man, typical nature of a man, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.
Title of the poem is appropriate, significant and catchy; though, I expect a title of a poem, in addition, may be complete, comprehensive, compact and comprehensible.



Edit:
Sticks and stone may break my bones
But cruel words can cut deep
The man with two faces knows how
And he can do it without a peep

(Sticks and stone may break my bones.
But, cruel words can cut deep.
The man with two faces knows how
and he can do it without a peep.)



Edit:
He knows just what I need to hear
And he knows it all too well
He'll tell me that he loves me
He tells me to go to hell

(He knows just what I need to hear
and he knows it all too well.
He'll tell me that he loves me.
He tells me to go to hell.)




Edit:
He looks me deep in the eyes
But he won't look at me for weeks
Sometimes he lavishes me with kindness
Sometimes he won't even speak

(He looks me deep in the eyes.
But, he won't look at me for weeks.
Sometimes he lavishes me with kindness.
Sometimes he won't even speak.)




Edit:
He strikes me in the ribs and tells me it's a joke
He tells me that he's sorry, and I believe him
He tells me exactly when it's my fault
But I can't tell what's real or what's his whim

(He strikes me in the ribs and tells me it's a joke.
He tells me that he's sorry, and I believe him.
He tells me exactly when it's my fault.
But, I can't tell what's real or what his whim is.)




Edit:
The man with two faces knows exactly who he is
He tells me what I should be instead
The man with two faces knows what he's doing
And I know if I don't leave I'll end up dead
(The man with two faces knows exactly who he is.
He tells me what I should be instead.
The man with two faces knows what he's doing.
And I know if I don't leave I'll end up dead.)




Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions, and changed words, as edits in the brackets, as above, for smoother and better read of the poem.




Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
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559
559
Review of The King of Texas  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Meal with Cialis!
Needed a scepter, not a palace!




OMG! You have done a nice job.



I have liked your work of limerick, a limerick about eating fashion, a limerick about eating habit, a limerick about passion for meal, a limerick about meal with Cialis, a limerick about virility drug, a limerick about a king, a limerick about a fake king, a limerick about misrepresenting a king, a limerick about wish of a man, a limerick about a Texan, a limerick about a Texan from Dallas, a limerick about a kinglike living.




I have enjoyed the story, the comedy of living, the comedy of attitude, the comedy of a man wishes to live like a king, the fun in taletelling, the funny declaration of a man, the funny behaviour of a man, the funny attitude of a man, the funny thoughts of a man, the funny wish of a man, the poetic flavour of the limerick, the poetic essence in expression, the humour and fun in the mode of expression, the funny needs of a man, the living attitude and demand of a man, the funny habit of eating meal with the use of virility drug used to treat erectile dysfunction in men or drug to treat impotence attributable to erectile dysfunction, the funny need of scepter and not a palace, the imagery, the word visuals, the style of presentation, the dialect, and the read.




Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, if not catchy; I expect a title of a limerick (or poem) maybe, in addition, comprehensible, compact, complete, correct, and catchy. Though, I find, the title is relevant and correct to the theme and thematic appreciation of the limerick.




Well done; thank you for sharing this limerick with us.





Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
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560
560
Review of Foggy Night  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
See!
Free?




OMG! You have done a good job.



I have liked your work of poem, a poem about feeling lonely.



I enjoyed the story, the monologue flavour of taletelling, the imagery, the emotional feeling about someone, the mystic environment and setting, and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate, if not catchy; I expect in general, a title of a poem maybe, in addition, compact, complete, comprehensive, comprehensible, correct and catchy; though, the title is neither incorrect nor inappropriate.



Edit:

I see you.

Standing in the distance.

The fog surrounds, it's almost impossible to see,

but I still see you.

Do you see me?

(I see you.
Standing in the distance
the fog surrounds, it's almost impossible to see
but, I still see you.
Do you see me?)




Please check, I have humbly offered suggestions as edits, for better read of the poem, in the bracket, as above.




Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber
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561
561
Review of Little things  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
How nice it is, I find you have done a good job. I liked your work of poem, a poem about little things, a poem of thoughts, poem thinking about someone, a poem about seeing a smile, poem thinking about someone, a poem of confession, poem reminding of someone, a poem doubting of someone, a poem about causing pain, a poem about indifferent living, a poem about indifferent attitude toward pain.




I enjoyed the story, the concept, the idea, the monologue pattern of taletelling, emotional and thoughtful expression of thoughts about someone, the imagery, the word visuals, partial and scattered rhymes, use of alliterations, and the read.




Title of the poem is appropriate; I do not find the title is significant, catchy; though, in general, I expect a title of a poem maybe, in addition, comprehensive, complete, compact, comprehensible, correct and catchy; though, the title is relevant to the theme and thematic appreciation of the poem.




Edit:
Little things
(Little Things)



Edit:
Wrote it half asleep at my computer tonight. Jan. 23,2014
(Wrote it half-asleep at my computer tonight, January 23, 2014)
Edit:
I saw a smile today
Pretty one that is true
I had to look away
It didn't belong to you

(I saw a smile today.
Pretty one that is true
I had to look away
it didn't belong to you.)



Edit:
All the time that's past
All the pain that I knew
Don't seem to mean much
When no matter what I do

Little things remind me of you

(All the time that's past.
All the pain that I knew
does not seem to mean much
when no matter what I do.

Little things remind me of you.)



Edit:
I saw these eyes today
Colour of the sky so blue
But I just looked away
They didn't belong to you

(I saw these eyes today.
Colour of the sky is so blue.
But, I just looked away.
They didn't belong to you.)




Edit:
All the time that's past
All the pain that I knew
Don't seem to mean much
When no matter what I do

Little things remind me of you

(All the time that is past.
All the pain that I knew
does not seem to mean much
when no matter what I do.

Little things remind me of you.)




Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, and added and changed words, as edits in the brackets, as above, for better and smoother read of the poem.




Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel




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562
562
Review of dangly earrings  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Rings afar!
She tries to hear!
Whisper laughter!




OMG! You have done a nice metaphorical job.




I liked the work of poem (free verse poetry, indeed), a poem about earrings, a poem of metaphoric sound, a poem of metaphoric rhythms, a poem of metaphoric dance, a poem of metaphoric journey, a poem of metaphoric feelings, a poem of metaphoric ringing, a poem of metaphoric connection, a poem of metaphoric love, a poem of metaphoric togetherness, a poem of metaphoric undulation, a poem of metaphoric happiness, a poem of metaphoric splashing, a poem of faith in beauty, a poem of belief in beauty, a poem of movement, a poem of jangling, a poem of colour beauty, a poem of isolation, a poem of solitariness, a poem of whisper, a poem of laughter, a poem of listening, a poem about listening to undulation, a poem of fateful connection, a poem of happy necessity, a poem of necessity of beauty, a poem on choice of colour beauty, a poem of beauteous walking, a poem of beauteous connection, a poem of happy togetherness, a poem of assembly.




I enjoyed the story, the metaphoric scale of taletelling, the metaphoric world of beauty feelings of togetherness, assembly, participation and happiness, the imagery, the word visuals, use of special and specific words, the diction, the style of expression, the art of taletelling, the art of panoramic expression, the twist and climax in the taletelling, diversities in state of feelings and metaphoric expressions, the urges and willingness of feeling the strange state of environment, and the read.




My favourite lines of the poem:
and when we are alone,
sometimes she shakes her head
just to hear us
whisper laughter.




Most interesting and liked part in the lines of the poem:
we jangle as she talks
two long jumbles
of color, peek-a-booing
through her hair until
she gives in and pulls it back




Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, if not catchy; though it appears somewhat mystic and secretive; but the title has a metaphoric appropriateness and it relates to the main theme and thematic appreciation of the poem; though I expect a title of a poem may be, in addition to, comprehensive, comprehensible, correct, compact and catchy.




Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber
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563
563
Review of A Fine Line  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lines!
Fines!
People dare to cross!
None, nothing to boss!




OMG! You have done a good job. I liked your work of poem (free verse poetry), a poem of fine lines, a poem of lines, a poem on lines people dare to cross, a poem about lines, a poem about lines people dare to cross, a poem about fine lines, a poem about lines within, a poem about lines under feet, a poem about lines under lines, a poem about lines invisible, a poem about lines without marks, a poem about lines free of signs, a poem about lines to be feared, a poem about lines to be crossed, a poem about lines answerable, a poem about lines questionable, a poem about lines separate other activities, a poem about lines separable in sentiments, a poem about lines separable in feelings, a poem about lines separated into bones, a poem about lines carved into bones, a poem about lines could not be painted, a poem about lines free of outlines, a poem about lines indistinguishable, a poem about lines indefinable.




I enjoyed the story, the storyline, the theme, the concept, the taletelling about the stand, status and standing of the lines and their causal existence and how people dare to cross them and how absurd it is to cross them and how hard it is to cross them and how they continue to remain in existence indefinable, the indescribable and inexplicable of the lines as expressed and explored, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.




Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, if not catchy; I expect a title of a poem, in addition, maybe comprehensible, comprehensive, compact, complete, correct and catchy; though I find the tittle has a relevance to the theme and thematic appreciation of the poem and it is correctly expressed but it is neither complete nor catchy.




My favourite and crucial lines of the poem:
A few hundred years from now
I am quite confident
That what I’m saying
Will remain
A fine line
To be crossed
To be feared
To be revered
All of it within each line
All within my own time…




I liked the most interesting and expressive lines of the poem, where I find the essence of the thematic appreciation of the poem is well clarified:

Such lines are not
Physically identifiable
But rather
Transversely reliable
Always at our feet
Regardless of place
Position, or relation of space
Such lines are always there
Such lines are burned
Into the core of our minds
Parallel with our spines
From our feet to our crown
From our connection
To our outward bound affliction




Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber
GROUP
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564
564
Review of Love is enough  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Soulmate is she!
Love is free!




OMG! You have done a lovely job. I have liked your work of poem (free verse poetry), a poem on soulmate, a love poem, a poem of blessed love, a poem of gifted love, a poem of love in appreciation, a poem on love essence, a poem fragrance of love, a poem colours of love, a poem love the mellifluous notes, a poem love the immortal melody, a poem love soul the peaceful tranquilizer, a poem love the moon, a poem love the high-flown imagination, a poem love of naivety, a poem love the living joy, a poem love happiest, a poem love immortal, a poem God created love, a poem love the spring of life, a poem love the vitality, a poem love the cause of existence.




I have enjoyed the story, the free flow of lovely thoughts, the taletelling of the state and status of love, the imagery, the word visuals, the stand of love in living, and the read.




The title of the poem is appropriate and significant, if not catchy; I expect a title of a poem, in addition, maybe catchy, comprehensive, compact, complete, and commendable; though I find, as I read, the title is correct and to some extent complete.




My favourite lines of the poem:
Come to me on the wings of the gentle wind
bearing the scent of a thousand jasmines.




Edit:
You, My Love, are my moon
cooling my fevered emotions,
my high-flown imagination,
stabilizing my unsteady life.
Let me feast my eyes
on your sweet naivety,
you are my living joy.


(You, my love, are my moon
cooling my fevered emotions
my high-flown imagination,
stabilizing my unsteady life.
Let me feast my eyes
on your sweet naivety
you are my living joy.)




Edit:
With you by my side, My Precious,
I am the richest of the rich,
the happiest of the blessed
created by God Almighty.
For, you are the spring
of my life, the source

of my vitality, the very
cause of my existence.


(With you by my side, my precious,
I am the richest of the rich,
the happiest of the blessed
created by God Almighty.
For, you are the spring
of my life, the source
of my vitality, the very
cause of my existence.)




Edit:
she is the soul of my life.
(She is the soul of my life.)

Edit:
Love is enough
(Love Is Enough)




Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above.




Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber
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565
565
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Heartbreak, sadness!
Lament, wish for happiness!




OMG! You have done a good job. I have liked your work of poem (free verse poetry), a poem of sadness, a poem of heart-break, a poem of love lost, a poem of loss of hope, a poem about aimlessness, a poem feeling nameless, a poem about losing hope in love, a poem living no laughing, a poem about losing hope for life, a poem about brutally destroyed heart, a poem praying to God, a poem complaining God, a poem making God liable for everything, a poem praying to God for end of life, a poem of frustrated living, a poem of desperate living, a poem about meaningless living, a poem about failing survival, a poem wishing thoughts calm down, a poem praying revival of head, a poem praying reunification of mind, a poem for happy survival.




I have enjoyed the story, the positive attitude towards living, taletelling the organized story with a good beginning, middle and moral ending, a good story for survival and struggling for living, the imagery, the word visuals, simple diction, true perspective of the storyline, and the read.




Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, if not catchy; I expect a title of a poem, in addition, may be comprehensive, complete, correct, compact, comprehensive and catchy; though I find, the title has relevance to and correctness as well appropriateness to the theme and thematic appreciation of the poem.



Edit:
A moment of sadness
(A Moment of Sadness)



Edit:
I am broken,
I am shattered,
I lost hope,
I find myself aimless,
I want to stay nameless,

(I am broken
I am shattered
I lost hope
I find myself aimless
I want to stay nameless.)



Edit:
Have lost hope in love,
Have lost hope for life,
Feel hard to laugh,
Feel hard to move on,
My heart is brutally destroyed,

(Have lost hope in love
have lost hope for life
feel hard to laugh
feel hard to move on
my heart is brutally destroyed.)



Edit:
Oh God , why you don't listen,
Why you can't touch my soul,
Why you gave me so much pain,
Why I have reached to the edge,
Why I want to end my life,

(Oh God! Why you don't listen
why you can't touch my soul
why you gave me so much pain
why I have reached to the edge
why I want to end my life?)



Edit:
I am unable to start again,
I want to live,
But no reason I have,
Life has become meaningless,
I can't survive it,

(I am unable to start again
I want to live
but no reason I have.
Life has become meaningless
I can't survive it.)



Edit:
Please thoughts calm down,
Let me live,
I am in the state of sadness,
Please mind learn to cope up,
Please be wise,
Cause only you could do that

(Please thoughts calm down
let me live.
I am in the state of sadness.
O mind! Learn to cope up
please be wise
cause only you could do that.)



Please check, there is no author’s note about your style of expression, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, and changed some words, for smoother read of the poem, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber
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566
566
Review of Addiction  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Conscious addiction!
Invites destruction!
Welcomes hell!
Lives in jail!




OMG! You have done a righteous job. I have liked your work of poem (free verse poetry), a poem of addiction, a poem of conscious addiction, a poem of bad things, a poem of euphoria, a poem of happiness, a poem of well-being, a poem of feeling bland, a poem of emptiness, a poem of love belongingness, a poem of everything love, a poem of feeling quietness, a poem of scary wounds, a poem of body tortures, a poem about consuming drugs, a poem about needling skin, a poem about feeling wildness, a poem of pains, a poem of troubles, a poem causing harm, a poem of uncontrollable head, a poem of helplessness, a poem about inviting suicide, a poem about inviting death, a poem inviting death through joy.




I have enjoyed the story, the free and flair flow of thoughts, sound taletelling, the organized beginning, middle and curious ending of the storyline, the theme, the concept, the message, the moral, the helplessness about righteousness, the invited cause and effect relation with a message, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.




Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, but it is not catchy; I always expect, in addition, a title of a poem may be, complete, comprehensive, comprehensible, correct, and catchy; though I find, the title has a relevance to the theme and the thematic appreciation of the poem.




Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber
GROUP
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567
567
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Olympic Pentathlon!
Modern Pentathlon!
Acrostic Pentathlon!
Event Pentathlon!




OMG! You have done a good job. I have liked your work of an acrostic poem, a poem about modern pentathlon, a poem about Olympic pentathlon, a poem about participation in pentathlon, a poem about competition pentathlon, a poem about event pentathlon, an acrostic poem about pentathlon in Olympic.



I enjoyed the story, the taletelling about the event, the order of participation and competition result and effect, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, if not catchy; I expect a title of a poem, in addition, maybe, comprehensive, comprehensible, compact, correct, complete and catchy; though I find, as I read the acrostic poem, there is relevance of facts related to the poem and thematic appreciation of the poem and it is correct and not inappropriate.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber
GROUP
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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel



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568
568
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Living by heart is burying!
Taxing head regretting!
Realistically proposing, God is missing in living!
Faith in God missing!




OMG! You have done a good job! I liked your work of poem (free verse poetry), a poem about living, a poem about living by heart, a poem about better living, a poem about meaningful living, a poem about reasoned living, a poem about materialistic living, a poem about scientific living, a poem about realistic living, a poem about living not by head, a poem about real living, a poem about life’s questions, a poem questioning life, a poem about quest for living, a poem about evolution of living, a poem about evolution of life, a poem about theory of living, a poem about verdict for living, a poem answering a better living, a poem God is missing in living, a poem God’s presence is missing, a poem God’s existence is missing, a poem faith in God missing, a poem living by head, a poem living by intelligence, a poem living by reasons, a poem living by head not heart, a poem living not by heart, a poem living free of God’s intervention, a poem living by science, a poem living by reasoning, a poem living romanticism free, a poem living by knowledge, a poem living not by wisdom, a poem living by information, a poem living by materialism, a poem living realistically.




I enjoyed the story, the proposal and theme in its own perspective, taletelling of the doubtful and incomplete philosophy of living at par with the thematic appreciation, the imagery, the fallacies to propose the theory of living for acceptance and appreciation as a proposal, the word visuals, and the read.




Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, and partially catchy; I expect a title of a poem, maybe, in addition, comprehensive, comprehensible, compact, complete, catchy and correct; though the title is relevant, correct as per the approach and thematic appreciation of the poem.




Edit:
Growing tired of our daily existence,
To the point of giving up
All hope of a better life,
We might come to terms with
Our unique and treasured place
In this huge, glorious, and loving world we live in.
For our place on earth was crafted,
Engineered, and designed by our gifts, talents,
And unmistakable pursuit
Of perfection, or near-perfection,
Not our jubilant and ever-flowing emotions.
Perhaps instead of questioning our predicaments
And enduring the same, familiar
Broken-heartedness we’ve felt for so long,
The time has come to follow our heads,
Looking at a future of possibilities
And facing the need to be driven
By outstanding goals.
A life guided by one’s heart
Can only lead to one burying
One’s head with regret…

(Growing tired of our daily existence
to the point of giving up
all hope of a better life
we might come to terms with
our unique and treasured place
in this huge, glorious, and loving world we live in.)


(For our place on earth was crafted
engineered, and designed by our gifts, talents
and unmistakable pursuit
of perfection, or near-perfection
not our jubilant and ever-flowing emotions.)


(Perhaps instead of questioning our predicaments
and enduring the same, familiar
broken-heartedness we’ve felt for so long,
The time has come to follow our heads
looking at a future of possibilities
and facing the need to be driven
by outstanding goals.)


(A life guided by one’s heart
can only lead to one burying
one’s head with regret.)




Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above, for smoother read of the poem.




Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber
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569
569
Review of Lust  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Lust for lust after!
You here there everywhere!



OMG! You have done a lovely job. I liked the work of this poem (free verse poetry), a poem of lust, a poem for lust, a poem upon lust, a poem to lust, a poem on lust, a poem up for lust, a poem begins with lust, a poem ends with lust, a poem about lust, a poem concerning lust, a poem concerns for lust, a poem goes for lust, a poem telling a story about lust, a poem begins and ends for lust, a poem lust for seeing, a poem lust for touching, a poem lust for togetherness, a poem lust for loving, a poem lust for wanting, a poem lust for feeling strong, a poem lust for mentoring, a poem lust for boosting dreams, a poem lust for dreaming, a poem lust for being hypnotized, a poem lust for getting everything wished, a poem lust for getting dreams fulfilled, a poem lust for freedom, a poem lust for growing relationship, a poem lust for romanticism, a poem lust for kissing, a poem about lust for everything naturally, a poem about freedom in lusting for, a poem about natural feeling of lust for.



I enjoyed the story, the free, lovely flow of thoughts, and the taletelling of lusting for, the theme, the concept, the story with a catchy beginning and resolved and curious ending, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, but it is not catchy; I expect a title of a poem, in addition, may be, comprehensible, comprehensive, compact, and complete.




Edit:
It's pillow soft but
its passion is what drives me.

(It is pillow soft but
its passion is what drives me.)




Edit:

Now that you are gone,
I want to lay by your side.

(Now you are gone.
I want to lay by your side.)




Edit:

It swept my shoulders,
kissing my neck; I shudder.

(It swept my shoulders
kissing my neck; I shudder.)




Edit:

Yet those lusturous orbs
hidden in an almond shape-
they hypnotize me.

(Yet those lustrous orbs
hidden in an almond shape
they hypnotize me.)



Edit:
Let me look at them,
and you can do what you want.

(Let me look at them
and you can do what you want.)



Edit:
And when I tremble
(exposed to those very eyes),
how will you react?

(And when I tremble?
(exposed to those very eyes),
How will you react?)



Edit:

Or will you shun me,
left bare for everyone to see.
(Or will you shun me
left bare for everyone to see?)



Edit:
Begin with a kiss
but then slowly drift further.
Let this lust come full circle

(Begin with a kiss.
But then slowly drift further.
Let this lust come full circle.)




Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestion, and changed words, as edits, in the brackets, for smoother read of the poem, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber
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570
570
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Babies will sleep, where!
Mother dying, going nowhere!



OMG! You have done a nice job. I liked your work of poem, a poem of torment, a poem of torment of a dying mother, a poem of mother’s concern, a poem telling mother’s worries, a poem about mother’s concern about her babies, a poem about a dying mother, a poem about a dying mother worries about her babies, a poem about a dying mother’s concern where her babies will sleep.



I enjoyed the story, the rhymes, the taletelling of the tragic story, the dramatic realistic point of the story, the pathos of the story, and the allegorical impact of the prime character of the story, the free and fast forward flow of thoughts, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is partially appropriate, if not catchy; I think, a title of a poem, in addition, may be, comprehensive, comprehensible, compact, catchy, appropriate, correct and appropriate; the title of the poem is not clear, and not complete, I find, it has some redundant words, and there is no author’s note, I have no idea about the title of the poem; besides, the description given under the title of the poem is inexpressive for having an additional or redundant word.



Edit:
She lie's in a hospital bed
(She lies in a hospital bed.)



Edit:
For she knows she is going nowhere

memories are buried deep

And she cannot sleep

For she worries to where her babies will sleep'

When her light goes out for keeps

(For she knows she is going nowhere
memories are buried deep
and she cannot sleep
for she worries to where her babies will sleep
when her light goes out for keeps.)



Edit:
ADD TO GIVE IT 100 P0EMS FOLDERl link all items on wWRITING A JOURNAL WITH WDCPROJECT4 to book INSPIRATION VERSE AD PROSE.LINK TO folder 2106808.
(I think the lines are redundant and may be deleted from the post.)



Edit:
A MOTHER'S ANGUISH revised give 100. 3
(A Mother’s Anguish)


Edit:
The TORMENT OF A DYEING MOTHER static.
(The torment of a dying mother)



Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits with opinion for deletion of some lines, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.



Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber
GROUP
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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel



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571
571
Review of Priceless  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Priceless relationship!

Marriage relation treasure ship!



Priceless acrostic!

Poem terrific!



OMG! You have done a nice job.


I liked the work of poem, an acrostic poem priceless, a poem about marriage relationship, a poem about marriage treasure relation, a poem about closeness, a poem about trust in marriage relationship, a poem about freedom of living, a poem about precious married living, a poem about rare married living, a poem about treasured living, a poem about deep treasured married living, a poem about sweet married living, a poem about hearty treasured living, a poem about merry treasured living, a poem about joyful happy married living, a poem about singing a treasured married living, a poem about treating marriage relation precious.



I enjoyed the story, the free flow of thoughts, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate, significant and a bit catchy; I expect a title of a poem, in addition, may be comprehensive, comprehensible, correct, and complete; though the title of the poem relates to the theme and thematic appreciation of the poem, and I find, the title is not incorrect; methinks, the title is not completely or instantly catchy, while, as I read, I find, it is thematic and subjective having moral essence of the thematic appreciation of the poem.




Well done; thank you for sharing this acrostic poem with us.






Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel



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572
572
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Perfect love!


OMG! You have done a good job.

I liked the work of poem, a prose poem of love, a prose poem about love, a prose poem about recognition of love, a prose poem about attitude toward love, a prose poem describing love, a prose poem telling state of love, a prose poem about appreciation of love, a prose poem about love in appreciation, a prose poem about gestures of love, a prose poem about manifestation of love, a prose poem about state of love, a prose poem about stand of love, a prose poem about love in identification, a prose poem about love activation, a prose poem about description of love in practice, a prose poem about love matters, a prose poem about feeling love, a prose poem about romanticism of love, a prose poem about status of love, a prose poem about love gestures, a prose poem about love gestures in appreciation.



I enjoyed the story, the flow of thoughts, taletelling of love in appreciation, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate, if not catchy; I expect a title of a poem, in addition, may be comprehensive, compact, complete and correct; though I find, as I read, title of the poem relates to the theme and thematic appreciation of the poem; I do not think, the perfectionism or the theory of perfection is rightly explored and expressed, as I know, love is a relative term, love is action, love is a feeling and as such it varies from person to person in appreciation and understanding love, and I think you have just expressed love as perfect in your eyes and it is not spoken theoretically or philosophically but in term of speaking and appreciation, so it is appreciable, as we often say or use the word ‘perfect’ to explain or say anything like love.



Edit:
in your arms. (space) I Love (love)



Edit:
I Love (love) the way you"'ll (you’ll) always be there for me.(space) So many things I Love (love) about you.(space) it's (It is) hard to name them all.(space) I Love (love) the way you talk to me and I Love (love) the way you kiss me.(space) I Love (love) the way you look at me.(space) I Love (love) your eyes.(space) I Love (love) You smile.(space) I Love (love) your voice.(space) I Love (love) everything about you. You're perfect in my eyes.



Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, for expressive and smoother read of the poem, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this prose poem with us.





Keep Writing! Scribe for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel




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573
573
Review of YOUphoria  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Love taught! Love brought! Living sought!



OMG! You have done a lovely job. I liked the work of poem, a love poem, a poem of love, a poem dedicated to love, a poem dedicating to your love, a poem dedicated to your love, a poem about love taught living, a poem about love taught fearless living, a poem of love phobia, a poem of love euphoric, a poem of love companion, a poem of dreary free love, a poem feeling of love, a poem feeling warmth of love, a poem fear like love.




I enjoyed the story, the free lovely flow of thoughts, the taletelling of love, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.




Title of the poem is good, appropriate, if not catchy; though I expect a title of a poem, in addition, may be, compact, comprehensive, comprehensible, complete, correct and catchy. I liked the one word, not a real word, expresses the essence and significance of the theme of the poem and the conceptual periphery of the poem.




Edit:
when your
warm, benign breathe
entwined with mine ;
it was euphoric
waterfall like tears, ceaseless

(When your
warm, benign breathe
entwined with mine;
it was euphoric
waterfall like tears, ceaseless)




Edit:
compared to you
•
fear like fire
lust like desire ; you
and
YOU, euphoric

compared to you.
fear like fire
lust like desire; you
and
you, euphoric.)




Please check, I have humbly offered my suggestions as edits, for smoother read of the poem, in the brackets, as above.




Well done; thank you for sharing the love poem with us.





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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel



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574
574
Review of Times  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for all the times!



OMG! You have done a good job. I liked your work of poem, a poem paying tribute, a poem expressing thanks, a poem paying tribute to a friend, a poem about a friend, a poem about service of a friend, a poem about a friend’s service, a poem about a friend’s time, a poem thanking a friend, a poem about services from a friend, a poem about friendship, a poem about time a friend spent, a poem about a friend’s friendliness, a poem about friendship of a man, a poem about friendly gestures of a friend, a poem about an inspiring friend, a poem about proofs of friendship, a poem about friendliness of a friend, a poem about thanking a friend, a poem about service of a friend.



I enjoyed the free flow of thoughts, the alliterations, the echo effect, the story, the taletelling of a friend’s service, the imagery, the word visuals and the read.



Though this is not an ode to a friend but it has an influence speaking about exaltation of a friend and about special service to a friend, as I find, a friend’s friendliness, friendship quality or human quality has well been recognised, appreciated and mentioned.



Title of the poem is good and allegorically appropriate, if not catchy; I expect a title of a poem may be complete, compact, comprehensive, comprehensible, correct and catchy. Though, I find, the title of the poem has a distant relation or relevance to the thematic appreciation of the poem.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





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575
575
Review of Don’t Fear  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well, you have done a good job. I liked the work of poem, a poem about a fight, a poem about an imaginary tussle, a poem about making a fight.



I enjoyed the flow of thoughts, the story about an imaginary fight, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



I liked the description of the fight resolution and the ego effect in expression in the following lines of the poem:
Don’t fear
Come close
Come near
Reach out your hand
I will grab hold
With a death grip
I will never let go



I liked most the imaginative expression about imaginary invitation to the cause of fight and the consequential state:
I would not entice you to such a place
To such a beautiful state
Unless I was quite certain
That such a location is where
You needed to be most of all…



Title of the poem is appropriate, significant but it is not catchy; though I expect a title of a poem may in addition be comprehensive, compact, complete, correct, comprehensible, and catchy.



Well said; thank you for sharing this poem with us.







Scribe Inspire Readers Spontaneously!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber
GROUP
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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel



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