\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/myguruvalmiki/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/23
Review Requests: OFF
1,893 Public Reviews Given
1,893 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 19 20 21 22 -23- 24 25 26 27 28 ... Next
551
551
Review of dangly earrings  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Rings afar!
She tries to hear!
Whisper laughter!




OMG! You have done a nice metaphorical job.




I liked the work of poem (free verse poetry, indeed), a poem about earrings, a poem of metaphoric sound, a poem of metaphoric rhythms, a poem of metaphoric dance, a poem of metaphoric journey, a poem of metaphoric feelings, a poem of metaphoric ringing, a poem of metaphoric connection, a poem of metaphoric love, a poem of metaphoric togetherness, a poem of metaphoric undulation, a poem of metaphoric happiness, a poem of metaphoric splashing, a poem of faith in beauty, a poem of belief in beauty, a poem of movement, a poem of jangling, a poem of colour beauty, a poem of isolation, a poem of solitariness, a poem of whisper, a poem of laughter, a poem of listening, a poem about listening to undulation, a poem of fateful connection, a poem of happy necessity, a poem of necessity of beauty, a poem on choice of colour beauty, a poem of beauteous walking, a poem of beauteous connection, a poem of happy togetherness, a poem of assembly.




I enjoyed the story, the metaphoric scale of taletelling, the metaphoric world of beauty feelings of togetherness, assembly, participation and happiness, the imagery, the word visuals, use of special and specific words, the diction, the style of expression, the art of taletelling, the art of panoramic expression, the twist and climax in the taletelling, diversities in state of feelings and metaphoric expressions, the urges and willingness of feeling the strange state of environment, and the read.




My favourite lines of the poem:
and when we are alone,
sometimes she shakes her head
just to hear us
whisper laughter.




Most interesting and liked part in the lines of the poem:
we jangle as she talks
two long jumbles
of color, peek-a-booing
through her hair until
she gives in and pulls it back




Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, if not catchy; though it appears somewhat mystic and secretive; but the title has a metaphoric appropriateness and it relates to the main theme and thematic appreciation of the poem; though I expect a title of a poem may be, in addition to, comprehensive, comprehensible, correct, compact and catchy.




Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
552
552
Review of A Fine Line  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lines!
Fines!
People dare to cross!
None, nothing to boss!




OMG! You have done a good job. I liked your work of poem (free verse poetry), a poem of fine lines, a poem of lines, a poem on lines people dare to cross, a poem about lines, a poem about lines people dare to cross, a poem about fine lines, a poem about lines within, a poem about lines under feet, a poem about lines under lines, a poem about lines invisible, a poem about lines without marks, a poem about lines free of signs, a poem about lines to be feared, a poem about lines to be crossed, a poem about lines answerable, a poem about lines questionable, a poem about lines separate other activities, a poem about lines separable in sentiments, a poem about lines separable in feelings, a poem about lines separated into bones, a poem about lines carved into bones, a poem about lines could not be painted, a poem about lines free of outlines, a poem about lines indistinguishable, a poem about lines indefinable.




I enjoyed the story, the storyline, the theme, the concept, the taletelling about the stand, status and standing of the lines and their causal existence and how people dare to cross them and how absurd it is to cross them and how hard it is to cross them and how they continue to remain in existence indefinable, the indescribable and inexplicable of the lines as expressed and explored, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.




Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, if not catchy; I expect a title of a poem, in addition, maybe comprehensible, comprehensive, compact, complete, correct and catchy; though I find the tittle has a relevance to the theme and thematic appreciation of the poem and it is correctly expressed but it is neither complete nor catchy.




My favourite and crucial lines of the poem:
A few hundred years from now
I am quite confident
That what I’m saying
Will remain
A fine line
To be crossed
To be feared
To be revered
All of it within each line
All within my own time…




I liked the most interesting and expressive lines of the poem, where I find the essence of the thematic appreciation of the poem is well clarified:

Such lines are not
Physically identifiable
But rather
Transversely reliable
Always at our feet
Regardless of place
Position, or relation of space
Such lines are always there
Such lines are burned
Into the core of our minds
Parallel with our spines
From our feet to our crown
From our connection
To our outward bound affliction




Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
553
553
Review of Love is enough  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Soulmate is she!
Love is free!




OMG! You have done a lovely job. I have liked your work of poem (free verse poetry), a poem on soulmate, a love poem, a poem of blessed love, a poem of gifted love, a poem of love in appreciation, a poem on love essence, a poem fragrance of love, a poem colours of love, a poem love the mellifluous notes, a poem love the immortal melody, a poem love soul the peaceful tranquilizer, a poem love the moon, a poem love the high-flown imagination, a poem love of naivety, a poem love the living joy, a poem love happiest, a poem love immortal, a poem God created love, a poem love the spring of life, a poem love the vitality, a poem love the cause of existence.




I have enjoyed the story, the free flow of lovely thoughts, the taletelling of the state and status of love, the imagery, the word visuals, the stand of love in living, and the read.




The title of the poem is appropriate and significant, if not catchy; I expect a title of a poem, in addition, maybe catchy, comprehensive, compact, complete, and commendable; though I find, as I read, the title is correct and to some extent complete.




My favourite lines of the poem:
Come to me on the wings of the gentle wind
bearing the scent of a thousand jasmines.




Edit:
You, My Love, are my moon
cooling my fevered emotions,
my high-flown imagination,
stabilizing my unsteady life.
Let me feast my eyes
on your sweet naivety,
you are my living joy.


(You, my love, are my moon
cooling my fevered emotions
my high-flown imagination,
stabilizing my unsteady life.
Let me feast my eyes
on your sweet naivety
you are my living joy.)




Edit:
With you by my side, My Precious,
I am the richest of the rich,
the happiest of the blessed
created by God Almighty.
For, you are the spring
of my life, the source

of my vitality, the very
cause of my existence.


(With you by my side, my precious,
I am the richest of the rich,
the happiest of the blessed
created by God Almighty.
For, you are the spring
of my life, the source
of my vitality, the very
cause of my existence.)




Edit:
she is the soul of my life.
(She is the soul of my life.)

Edit:
Love is enough
(Love Is Enough)




Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above.




Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
554
554
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Heartbreak, sadness!
Lament, wish for happiness!




OMG! You have done a good job. I have liked your work of poem (free verse poetry), a poem of sadness, a poem of heart-break, a poem of love lost, a poem of loss of hope, a poem about aimlessness, a poem feeling nameless, a poem about losing hope in love, a poem living no laughing, a poem about losing hope for life, a poem about brutally destroyed heart, a poem praying to God, a poem complaining God, a poem making God liable for everything, a poem praying to God for end of life, a poem of frustrated living, a poem of desperate living, a poem about meaningless living, a poem about failing survival, a poem wishing thoughts calm down, a poem praying revival of head, a poem praying reunification of mind, a poem for happy survival.




I have enjoyed the story, the positive attitude towards living, taletelling the organized story with a good beginning, middle and moral ending, a good story for survival and struggling for living, the imagery, the word visuals, simple diction, true perspective of the storyline, and the read.




Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, if not catchy; I expect a title of a poem, in addition, may be comprehensive, complete, correct, compact, comprehensive and catchy; though I find, the title has relevance to and correctness as well appropriateness to the theme and thematic appreciation of the poem.



Edit:
A moment of sadness
(A Moment of Sadness)



Edit:
I am broken,
I am shattered,
I lost hope,
I find myself aimless,
I want to stay nameless,

(I am broken
I am shattered
I lost hope
I find myself aimless
I want to stay nameless.)



Edit:
Have lost hope in love,
Have lost hope for life,
Feel hard to laugh,
Feel hard to move on,
My heart is brutally destroyed,

(Have lost hope in love
have lost hope for life
feel hard to laugh
feel hard to move on
my heart is brutally destroyed.)



Edit:
Oh God , why you don't listen,
Why you can't touch my soul,
Why you gave me so much pain,
Why I have reached to the edge,
Why I want to end my life,

(Oh God! Why you don't listen
why you can't touch my soul
why you gave me so much pain
why I have reached to the edge
why I want to end my life?)



Edit:
I am unable to start again,
I want to live,
But no reason I have,
Life has become meaningless,
I can't survive it,

(I am unable to start again
I want to live
but no reason I have.
Life has become meaningless
I can't survive it.)



Edit:
Please thoughts calm down,
Let me live,
I am in the state of sadness,
Please mind learn to cope up,
Please be wise,
Cause only you could do that

(Please thoughts calm down
let me live.
I am in the state of sadness.
O mind! Learn to cope up
please be wise
cause only you could do that.)



Please check, there is no author’s note about your style of expression, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, and changed some words, for smoother read of the poem, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
555
555
Review of Addiction  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Conscious addiction!
Invites destruction!
Welcomes hell!
Lives in jail!




OMG! You have done a righteous job. I have liked your work of poem (free verse poetry), a poem of addiction, a poem of conscious addiction, a poem of bad things, a poem of euphoria, a poem of happiness, a poem of well-being, a poem of feeling bland, a poem of emptiness, a poem of love belongingness, a poem of everything love, a poem of feeling quietness, a poem of scary wounds, a poem of body tortures, a poem about consuming drugs, a poem about needling skin, a poem about feeling wildness, a poem of pains, a poem of troubles, a poem causing harm, a poem of uncontrollable head, a poem of helplessness, a poem about inviting suicide, a poem about inviting death, a poem inviting death through joy.




I have enjoyed the story, the free and flair flow of thoughts, sound taletelling, the organized beginning, middle and curious ending of the storyline, the theme, the concept, the message, the moral, the helplessness about righteousness, the invited cause and effect relation with a message, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.




Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, but it is not catchy; I always expect, in addition, a title of a poem may be, complete, comprehensive, comprehensible, correct, and catchy; though I find, the title has a relevance to the theme and the thematic appreciation of the poem.




Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
556
556
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Olympic Pentathlon!
Modern Pentathlon!
Acrostic Pentathlon!
Event Pentathlon!




OMG! You have done a good job. I have liked your work of an acrostic poem, a poem about modern pentathlon, a poem about Olympic pentathlon, a poem about participation in pentathlon, a poem about competition pentathlon, a poem about event pentathlon, an acrostic poem about pentathlon in Olympic.



I enjoyed the story, the taletelling about the event, the order of participation and competition result and effect, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, if not catchy; I expect a title of a poem, in addition, maybe, comprehensive, comprehensible, compact, correct, complete and catchy; though I find, as I read the acrostic poem, there is relevance of facts related to the poem and thematic appreciation of the poem and it is correct and not inappropriate.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
557
557
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Living by heart is burying!
Taxing head regretting!
Realistically proposing, God is missing in living!
Faith in God missing!




OMG! You have done a good job! I liked your work of poem (free verse poetry), a poem about living, a poem about living by heart, a poem about better living, a poem about meaningful living, a poem about reasoned living, a poem about materialistic living, a poem about scientific living, a poem about realistic living, a poem about living not by head, a poem about real living, a poem about life’s questions, a poem questioning life, a poem about quest for living, a poem about evolution of living, a poem about evolution of life, a poem about theory of living, a poem about verdict for living, a poem answering a better living, a poem God is missing in living, a poem God’s presence is missing, a poem God’s existence is missing, a poem faith in God missing, a poem living by head, a poem living by intelligence, a poem living by reasons, a poem living by head not heart, a poem living not by heart, a poem living free of God’s intervention, a poem living by science, a poem living by reasoning, a poem living romanticism free, a poem living by knowledge, a poem living not by wisdom, a poem living by information, a poem living by materialism, a poem living realistically.




I enjoyed the story, the proposal and theme in its own perspective, taletelling of the doubtful and incomplete philosophy of living at par with the thematic appreciation, the imagery, the fallacies to propose the theory of living for acceptance and appreciation as a proposal, the word visuals, and the read.




Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, and partially catchy; I expect a title of a poem, maybe, in addition, comprehensive, comprehensible, compact, complete, catchy and correct; though the title is relevant, correct as per the approach and thematic appreciation of the poem.




Edit:
Growing tired of our daily existence,
To the point of giving up
All hope of a better life,
We might come to terms with
Our unique and treasured place
In this huge, glorious, and loving world we live in.
For our place on earth was crafted,
Engineered, and designed by our gifts, talents,
And unmistakable pursuit
Of perfection, or near-perfection,
Not our jubilant and ever-flowing emotions.
Perhaps instead of questioning our predicaments
And enduring the same, familiar
Broken-heartedness we’ve felt for so long,
The time has come to follow our heads,
Looking at a future of possibilities
And facing the need to be driven
By outstanding goals.
A life guided by one’s heart
Can only lead to one burying
One’s head with regret…

(Growing tired of our daily existence
to the point of giving up
all hope of a better life
we might come to terms with
our unique and treasured place
in this huge, glorious, and loving world we live in.)


(For our place on earth was crafted
engineered, and designed by our gifts, talents
and unmistakable pursuit
of perfection, or near-perfection
not our jubilant and ever-flowing emotions.)


(Perhaps instead of questioning our predicaments
and enduring the same, familiar
broken-heartedness we’ve felt for so long,
The time has come to follow our heads
looking at a future of possibilities
and facing the need to be driven
by outstanding goals.)


(A life guided by one’s heart
can only lead to one burying
one’s head with regret.)




Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above, for smoother read of the poem.




Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
558
558
Review of Lust  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Lust for lust after!
You here there everywhere!



OMG! You have done a lovely job. I liked the work of this poem (free verse poetry), a poem of lust, a poem for lust, a poem upon lust, a poem to lust, a poem on lust, a poem up for lust, a poem begins with lust, a poem ends with lust, a poem about lust, a poem concerning lust, a poem concerns for lust, a poem goes for lust, a poem telling a story about lust, a poem begins and ends for lust, a poem lust for seeing, a poem lust for touching, a poem lust for togetherness, a poem lust for loving, a poem lust for wanting, a poem lust for feeling strong, a poem lust for mentoring, a poem lust for boosting dreams, a poem lust for dreaming, a poem lust for being hypnotized, a poem lust for getting everything wished, a poem lust for getting dreams fulfilled, a poem lust for freedom, a poem lust for growing relationship, a poem lust for romanticism, a poem lust for kissing, a poem about lust for everything naturally, a poem about freedom in lusting for, a poem about natural feeling of lust for.



I enjoyed the story, the free, lovely flow of thoughts, and the taletelling of lusting for, the theme, the concept, the story with a catchy beginning and resolved and curious ending, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate and significant, but it is not catchy; I expect a title of a poem, in addition, may be, comprehensible, comprehensive, compact, and complete.




Edit:
It's pillow soft but
its passion is what drives me.

(It is pillow soft but
its passion is what drives me.)




Edit:

Now that you are gone,
I want to lay by your side.

(Now you are gone.
I want to lay by your side.)




Edit:

It swept my shoulders,
kissing my neck; I shudder.

(It swept my shoulders
kissing my neck; I shudder.)




Edit:

Yet those lusturous orbs
hidden in an almond shape-
they hypnotize me.

(Yet those lustrous orbs
hidden in an almond shape
they hypnotize me.)



Edit:
Let me look at them,
and you can do what you want.

(Let me look at them
and you can do what you want.)



Edit:
And when I tremble
(exposed to those very eyes),
how will you react?

(And when I tremble?
(exposed to those very eyes),
How will you react?)



Edit:

Or will you shun me,
left bare for everyone to see.
(Or will you shun me
left bare for everyone to see?)



Edit:
Begin with a kiss
but then slowly drift further.
Let this lust come full circle

(Begin with a kiss.
But then slowly drift further.
Let this lust come full circle.)




Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestion, and changed words, as edits, in the brackets, for smoother read of the poem, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
559
559
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Babies will sleep, where!
Mother dying, going nowhere!



OMG! You have done a nice job. I liked your work of poem, a poem of torment, a poem of torment of a dying mother, a poem of mother’s concern, a poem telling mother’s worries, a poem about mother’s concern about her babies, a poem about a dying mother, a poem about a dying mother worries about her babies, a poem about a dying mother’s concern where her babies will sleep.



I enjoyed the story, the rhymes, the taletelling of the tragic story, the dramatic realistic point of the story, the pathos of the story, and the allegorical impact of the prime character of the story, the free and fast forward flow of thoughts, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is partially appropriate, if not catchy; I think, a title of a poem, in addition, may be, comprehensive, comprehensible, compact, catchy, appropriate, correct and appropriate; the title of the poem is not clear, and not complete, I find, it has some redundant words, and there is no author’s note, I have no idea about the title of the poem; besides, the description given under the title of the poem is inexpressive for having an additional or redundant word.



Edit:
She lie's in a hospital bed
(She lies in a hospital bed.)



Edit:
For she knows she is going nowhere

memories are buried deep

And she cannot sleep

For she worries to where her babies will sleep'

When her light goes out for keeps

(For she knows she is going nowhere
memories are buried deep
and she cannot sleep
for she worries to where her babies will sleep
when her light goes out for keeps.)



Edit:
ADD TO GIVE IT 100 P0EMS FOLDERl link all items on wWRITING A JOURNAL WITH WDCPROJECT4 to book INSPIRATION VERSE AD PROSE.LINK TO folder 2106808.
(I think the lines are redundant and may be deleted from the post.)



Edit:
A MOTHER'S ANGUISH revised give 100. 3
(A Mother’s Anguish)


Edit:
The TORMENT OF A DYEING MOTHER static.
(The torment of a dying mother)



Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits with opinion for deletion of some lines, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.



Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
560
560
Review of Priceless  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Priceless relationship!

Marriage relation treasure ship!



Priceless acrostic!

Poem terrific!



OMG! You have done a nice job.


I liked the work of poem, an acrostic poem priceless, a poem about marriage relationship, a poem about marriage treasure relation, a poem about closeness, a poem about trust in marriage relationship, a poem about freedom of living, a poem about precious married living, a poem about rare married living, a poem about treasured living, a poem about deep treasured married living, a poem about sweet married living, a poem about hearty treasured living, a poem about merry treasured living, a poem about joyful happy married living, a poem about singing a treasured married living, a poem about treating marriage relation precious.



I enjoyed the story, the free flow of thoughts, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate, significant and a bit catchy; I expect a title of a poem, in addition, may be comprehensive, comprehensible, correct, and complete; though the title of the poem relates to the theme and thematic appreciation of the poem, and I find, the title is not incorrect; methinks, the title is not completely or instantly catchy, while, as I read, I find, it is thematic and subjective having moral essence of the thematic appreciation of the poem.




Well done; thank you for sharing this acrostic poem with us.






Write on to Influence, Change, and Scribe to Inspire Man for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
561
561
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Perfect love!


OMG! You have done a good job.

I liked the work of poem, a prose poem of love, a prose poem about love, a prose poem about recognition of love, a prose poem about attitude toward love, a prose poem describing love, a prose poem telling state of love, a prose poem about appreciation of love, a prose poem about love in appreciation, a prose poem about gestures of love, a prose poem about manifestation of love, a prose poem about state of love, a prose poem about stand of love, a prose poem about love in identification, a prose poem about love activation, a prose poem about description of love in practice, a prose poem about love matters, a prose poem about feeling love, a prose poem about romanticism of love, a prose poem about status of love, a prose poem about love gestures, a prose poem about love gestures in appreciation.



I enjoyed the story, the flow of thoughts, taletelling of love in appreciation, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate, if not catchy; I expect a title of a poem, in addition, may be comprehensive, compact, complete and correct; though I find, as I read, title of the poem relates to the theme and thematic appreciation of the poem; I do not think, the perfectionism or the theory of perfection is rightly explored and expressed, as I know, love is a relative term, love is action, love is a feeling and as such it varies from person to person in appreciation and understanding love, and I think you have just expressed love as perfect in your eyes and it is not spoken theoretically or philosophically but in term of speaking and appreciation, so it is appreciable, as we often say or use the word ‘perfect’ to explain or say anything like love.



Edit:
in your arms. (space) I Love (love)



Edit:
I Love (love) the way you"'ll (you’ll) always be there for me.(space) So many things I Love (love) about you.(space) it's (It is) hard to name them all.(space) I Love (love) the way you talk to me and I Love (love) the way you kiss me.(space) I Love (love) the way you look at me.(space) I Love (love) your eyes.(space) I Love (love) You smile.(space) I Love (love) your voice.(space) I Love (love) everything about you. You're perfect in my eyes.



Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, for expressive and smoother read of the poem, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this prose poem with us.





Keep Writing! Scribe for 1234 Years!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
562
562
Review of YOUphoria  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Love taught! Love brought! Living sought!



OMG! You have done a lovely job. I liked the work of poem, a love poem, a poem of love, a poem dedicated to love, a poem dedicating to your love, a poem dedicated to your love, a poem about love taught living, a poem about love taught fearless living, a poem of love phobia, a poem of love euphoric, a poem of love companion, a poem of dreary free love, a poem feeling of love, a poem feeling warmth of love, a poem fear like love.




I enjoyed the story, the free lovely flow of thoughts, the taletelling of love, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.




Title of the poem is good, appropriate, if not catchy; though I expect a title of a poem, in addition, may be, compact, comprehensive, comprehensible, complete, correct and catchy. I liked the one word, not a real word, expresses the essence and significance of the theme of the poem and the conceptual periphery of the poem.




Edit:
when your
warm, benign breathe
entwined with mine ;
it was euphoric
waterfall like tears, ceaseless

(When your
warm, benign breathe
entwined with mine;
it was euphoric
waterfall like tears, ceaseless)




Edit:
compared to you
•
fear like fire
lust like desire ; you
and
YOU, euphoric

compared to you.
fear like fire
lust like desire; you
and
you, euphoric.)




Please check, I have humbly offered my suggestions as edits, for smoother read of the poem, in the brackets, as above.




Well done; thank you for sharing the love poem with us.





Scribe Inspire Readers Spontaneously!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
563
563
Review of Times  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for all the times!



OMG! You have done a good job. I liked your work of poem, a poem paying tribute, a poem expressing thanks, a poem paying tribute to a friend, a poem about a friend, a poem about service of a friend, a poem about a friend’s service, a poem about a friend’s time, a poem thanking a friend, a poem about services from a friend, a poem about friendship, a poem about time a friend spent, a poem about a friend’s friendliness, a poem about friendship of a man, a poem about friendly gestures of a friend, a poem about an inspiring friend, a poem about proofs of friendship, a poem about friendliness of a friend, a poem about thanking a friend, a poem about service of a friend.



I enjoyed the free flow of thoughts, the alliterations, the echo effect, the story, the taletelling of a friend’s service, the imagery, the word visuals and the read.



Though this is not an ode to a friend but it has an influence speaking about exaltation of a friend and about special service to a friend, as I find, a friend’s friendliness, friendship quality or human quality has well been recognised, appreciated and mentioned.



Title of the poem is good and allegorically appropriate, if not catchy; I expect a title of a poem may be complete, compact, comprehensive, comprehensible, correct and catchy. Though, I find, the title of the poem has a distant relation or relevance to the thematic appreciation of the poem.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Scribe Inspire Readers Spontaneously!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
564
564
Review of Don’t Fear  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well, you have done a good job. I liked the work of poem, a poem about a fight, a poem about an imaginary tussle, a poem about making a fight.



I enjoyed the flow of thoughts, the story about an imaginary fight, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



I liked the description of the fight resolution and the ego effect in expression in the following lines of the poem:
Don’t fear
Come close
Come near
Reach out your hand
I will grab hold
With a death grip
I will never let go



I liked most the imaginative expression about imaginary invitation to the cause of fight and the consequential state:
I would not entice you to such a place
To such a beautiful state
Unless I was quite certain
That such a location is where
You needed to be most of all…



Title of the poem is appropriate, significant but it is not catchy; though I expect a title of a poem may in addition be comprehensive, compact, complete, correct, comprehensible, and catchy.



Well said; thank you for sharing this poem with us.







Scribe Inspire Readers Spontaneously!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
565
565
Review of Broken  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Courtesy costs nothing, buys everything!



OMG! You have done a good job. I liked the work of poem, a poem on courtesy, a poem on good wish, a poem telling sorry, a poem of polite gesture, a poem on civility, a poem on gesture of love, a poem on polity, a poem on politeness, a poem seeking for excuse, a poem expressing excuse, a poem expressing sorry, a poem about broken heart, a poem about change in heart, a poem about change of broken heart.



I enjoyed the story, the love relationship, token of love expression, showing token of love word changes, and the read.



Title of the poem is metaphorically appropriate, but it is not catchy; though I expect a title of a poem may be complete, comprehensive, compact, correct, comprehensive, and catchy. Title of the poem relates to the thematic appreciation of the poem.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Scribe Inspire Readers Spontaneously!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
566
566
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Growing older, no wonder!



OMG! You have done a nice job. I liked your work of poem, a poem about growing older, a poem about function of aging, a poem about law of change of time and age.



I enjoyed the free and fast forward flow of thoughts, the story, the taletelling, the concept, the theme, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



I have doubt about the last stanza of the poem, I find no direct relevance of this stanza with the previous ones; I do not assume, as do not like to assume or presume inadvertently, I think, as I read, this stanza is telling something beyond the theme of the poem. I think, there is no relevance of thinking about the problems of youth and how they are regulated, and why the distant memories shine in the sky at night, and I find this thought has no direct link or relevance to the prime thought or theme of the poem.



Title of the poem is good and correct, but it is neither catchy nor appropriate; I always expect a title of a poem may be in addition complete, comprehensive, compact, correct, comprehensible and catchy; though the title of the poem is not beyond the relevance of the theme of the poem.



Edit:
It’s a function of aging
that everything falls apart,
not all at once of course,
but one cell at a time,
and that trivial things
become matters of life and death.

(It’s a function of aging
that everything falls apart
not all at once of course
but one cell at a time
and that trivial things
become matters of life and death.)



Edit:
It’s the trivial,
like doctors offices that provide valet parking
or where you put your keys
when you came home last night,
that become important.

(It’s the trivial,
like doctors’ offices that provide valet parking
or where you put your keys
when you came home last night
that become important.)



Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above.


Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.




Scribe Inspire Readers Spontaneously!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
567
567
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
A gravedigger’s son
Writing is his passion!



OMG! You have done a good job. I liked the work of poem; a poem about passion, a poem about a gravedigger, a poem about a son dislikes his father’s occupation, a poem about condemning a profession, a poem about disliking occupation of gravedigger.



I enjoyed the free flow of thoughts, the story, the taletelling, the theme, the concept, the viewpoint, the point of view, a son’s attitude toward his father’s occupation, the imagery, the word visuals, philosophy of living, attitudes toward living, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is good, thematically correct, but I do not find it is catchy and complete; though I expect a title of a poem may be in addition, comprehensive, compact, appropriate and significant. Though I find the title of the poem has relevance to the thematic exploration of the poem.



I liked the true feeling exposed in the lines of the poem:
I’m the gravedigger’s son
But I have no interest
In what he has done
Wasted and bloated



I enjoyed the philosophy expressed in the lines of the poem:
No living soul
Should have a grievance
With anyone in a state
Of decomposition



I liked greatly the lines of the poem:
Life it began
Thus it will end



My favourite lines of the poem:
I am willing to confess
That I desire nothing of this
He can keep his macabre kingdom
It’s just not what I wish
So here I am
With my refusal to dig



Edit:
Where any one of them are
(Where any one of them is)



Edit:
Wasted And Bloated
(Wasted and Bloated)



Edit:
My father was the gravedigger in the small New England town I grew up in.Not what I wished
(My father was the gravedigger in the small New England town I grew up in. Not what I wished.)




Please note, I have offered my humble suggestions as edits in the bracket as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Scribe Inspire Readers Spontaneously!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
568
568
Review of Great First Lines  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
First lines!



OMG! You have done an educative job. I liked your work. I enjoyed the work you have endeavoured, as I have enjoyed the story, the theme, the say, the message, the tips, the examples, the style of expression, and the read.



I liked and enjoyed all the four examples, they appear some of your great first lines, I think, you have expressed the thoughts catchy and I may consider them great first lines from your works, as you have given reference to the works.



The third of the four first great lines, I think, is most enjoyable, catchy, interesting, entertaining, and it is clear, complete, comprehensive and compact.



The last or fourth first great line is not so catchy, I think, it would not be one of the great first lines, for it is so common, and you know, readers get to know, read, learn, find, see, enjoy something told, said, stated, mentioned, expressed or exposed unusually but simply and commonly, though it is simple but it is not so catchy like the other ones, I think.



The title of the work is appropriate, significant, if not catchy; like the first lines, I think, I expect it may be compact, complete, comprehensive, correct and catchy; the title of the work relates to the theme and is correct.




Well done; thank you for sharing this work with us.





Scribe Inspire Readers Spontaneously!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
569
569
Review of Orange Canopies  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
In moonlit night under orange canopies

Sleeping a little mouse!

In peace!



OMG! You have done an educative job. I liked your work of poem, a poem of freedom to living, a poem of liberty to rest, a poem of freedom in sleeping, a poem of liberty to sleep, a poem about free sleeping, a poem about sound safe and secured sleeping, a poem of freedom in sleeping, a poem of free sleeping at night, a poem of sleeping freely at night, a poem of free sleeping at moonlit night, a poem of sleeping at moonlit night, a poem of free sleeping under canopies, a poem about absolute freedom, a poem about freedom in living, a poem about a little mouse, a poem about a little mouse sleeps, a poem about a little mouse sleeps in moonlit night, a poem about peaceful sleeping, a poem about sleeping in peace, a poem about sleeping at night in peace.



I enjoyed the free flow of thoughts, the story, the metaphorical significance, the taletelling, the glow and significance of the theme of the poem, the theme, the imagery, the word visuals, the rhythms, the rhythm in thought and thematic expression, the alliterative approach in expression, the dramatic appeal of the thematic appreciation, how the little mouse made his own bed from an orange rind, the state and status of the mouse on his bed, freedom and peace in which the little mouse sleeps at his own bed, and the read.



Title of the poem is metaphorically correct, right, appropriate, but it is neither catchy, nor complete, comprehensive, compact or comprehensible, though I find, as I read, the title of the poem is relevant to the thematic expression. I expect a title of a poem may be catchy, complete, comprehensive, compact, appropriate, significant and comprehensible.



Edit:
Warm, cozy, and well-fed,
under orange canopies so bright,
Shhh! Little mouse is sleeping tonight.

(Warm, cozy, and well-fed
under orange canopies so bright
shhh! Little mouse is sleeping tonight.)




Please check, I have humbly offered my suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above, for better and smoother read of the poem.




Well done; thank you for sharing this educative poem with us.





Scribe Inspire Readers Spontaneously!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
570
570
Review of A Space To Burn  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Well, you have done a good job. I liked your work of poem, a poem about escapism, a poem about leaving things to the flame, a poem about burning things and escaping, a poem of escaping, a poem of conscious escaping, a poem about leaving things to burn, a poem about leaving things to burn and escaping, a poem about ideology of living, a poem about living in escapism, a poem about philosophy of leaving things, a poem about living in appreciation, a poem about self-drawn philosophy of living, a poem about philosophy of living.



I have enjoyed the diverse and fragmented flow of diverse thoughts, the story, the taletelling, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.




My favourite lines of the poem, frank telling of practice of living, a common approach and practice of living, an extraordinary approach in an ordinary state of living, escapism consciously like a common man for self-satisfaction out of living significantly:
As light as a feather
Something that
Regardless of weight
Or lack thereof
Will never find a way
To again escape
I’ll be free as dawn comes
And then
Into another sunset I’ll roam
A space to burn…



I have enjoyed these lines of the poem, much of their straightforward expression, though these are somewhat bizarre for appreciation:
No one will know
No one
But me
And
I’ll never tell
I’ll never return
To this sort of hell



I appreciate these lines of the poem for their practicable sense of living in anticipation:
I’ll dare roam
Changing my fate
Restating
The importance
Of my single existence



Title of the poem is good, metaphorically appropriate, significant, if not catchy; I expect a title of a poem may be compact, comprehensive, complete, catchy and comprehensible; though I find the title of the poem has relevance to the thematic sentiment of the poem.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Scribe Inspire Readers Spontaneously!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
571
571
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes and mistakes!
Make you wiser, amazing and clean!



Righteously wonderful!



OMG! You have done a righteous job. I liked your work of essay or non-fiction, a work about mistakes, a work about mistakes in life, a work about mistakes for living a life, a work about contribution of mistakes in life, a work about effects of making mistakes, a work about better living learning by mistakes, a work about clean living through mistakes, a work about wiser living learning by mistakes, a work telling effects of making mistakes, a work telling consequence of mistakes, a work telling results of mistakes in life, a work describing what mistakes do, a work describing how mistakes change life, a work explaining how mistakes change a course of living, a work telling how mistakes can improve status in life, a work telling how mistakes can help making life amazing.



I enjoyed the free, structured, organized and reasoned flow of thoughts, the story, and the positive approach to the thematic appreciation, the positive attitude toward living, the cause and effect of the subject, positive attitude toward living a life, the directives, the message, the theme, the viewpoint, the point of view, the tips, the suggestions, the advice, the directives, the proposals, the descriptions, the illustrations, the taletelling, and the read.



Title of the work is appropriate and significant, if not catchy; I expect title of an essay or non-fiction or article maybe catchy, complete, comprehensive, compact, though I do not think, the title of the work is incorrect, and I find the title is relevant to the theme of the work, anyway, primarily, the title of the work is not catchy.



Edit:
Mistakes make you wiser.
(Mistakes Make You Wiser)



Edit:
Mistakes don't make You damaged, they make you clean.
(Mistakes don't make you damaged, they make you clean.)



Edit:
YOU are your own meaning of BEAUTIFUL!
(You are your own meaning of what is beautiful.)
Or,
(You are your own meaning of beautiful.)



Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above.




Well done; thank you for sharing this work with us.





Scribe Inspire Readers Spontaneously!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
572
572
Review of Addiction  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
You have written an unfinished work. I think it is not rational or fair to write a review on an incomplete work, but I am helpless, as the work is placed in public, I may think, you wish a review of your work that you write at an unfinished stage, and writing a review on this work would be a part of my role as a reviewer.



Rightly stated, it is not easy to escape one’s addiction, as man is by nature greedy for everything, so addiction gives satisfaction, as such man is on average prepared to be swayed with addiction; though addiction to drug is not only dangerous but also life taking, and by all means , it should be avoided.



I do not understand what you mean by this -- The High's, the low's. I do not like to assume anything, for I know it is not fair. I find the phrases are not grammatically correct though, rather I would say, it is inexpressive, again, the word ‘High’ is in capital letter, I cannot guess anything about this.



Of course, the jolt of electricity, at the drug addiction, truly, as you have stated, through one’s body gives such feeling, but all that is the fruition of greed of satisfaction, the attraction for the disastrous drug addiction, and helps the addicted person to feel his body like a momentous orgasm, as greed of having such feeling makes one to be addicted to drug, I think, you have rightly described the matter. And if one does not control, he is over run, and greed obviously increase, and the end result is evident, we can think of disaster will cause to the addicted person.



And I find, you have hinted rightly, the deceptive moment has to be discarded off and addiction to be off, yes the fruition or outcome or result or effect of being waved with the greed of more and more satisfaction and enjoyment is common and we can think of it.



Edit:
I think you can not escape the addiction.
(I think you cannot escape the addiction.)



Edit:
The High's, the low's.
(The high's high and the low …...)



Edit:
like an momentous orgasm.

(like a momentous orgasm.)




Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above.



The title of the monologue is good, appropriate but it is not catchy.




Well done; thank you for sharing this monologue with us.





Scribe Inspire Readers Spontaneously!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
573
573
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wishing Welcoming inviting!
Happy WDC Birthday Celebrating!



OMG! You have done a commanding job. I liked your work of poem, a poem of wish, a poem of wishing birthday celebration, a poem of inviting to birthday, a poem celebrating birthday, a poem for celebration of birthday, a poem celebrating WDC birthday, a poem for celebrating happy WDC birthday, a poem about progression of WDC, a poem in praise of WDC, a poem about the world of WDC, a poem about resources of WDC, a poem about WDC services, a poem about WDC community, as poem about WDC membership, a poem about WDC writing membership community, a poem welcoming to join WDC, a poem welcoming to WDC community.



I enjoyed the featherlike, free and fast forward flow of thoughts, the theme, the rhymes, the invitation, the celebration, the hopes and the promises, the plans and prospects, the call and invitation to the writing community, the promising features, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is appropriate, significant and catchy.



Edit:
Community makes this site great;
Just feel the festive spirit!

(Community makes this site great.
Just feel the festive spirit!)



Edit:
With a poem, a party and a song;
Our heartfelt thanks is due.
Though we appreciate it all year long,
Today we especially say thank you!

(With a poem, a party and a song
our heartfelt thanks is due.
Though we appreciate it all year long
today we especially say thank you!)



Edit:
Our heartfelt thanks is due -
To fellow members and staff.
Today we especially say thank you
For kindnesses, support and laughs.

(Our heartfelt thanks is due
to fellow members and staff.
Today we especially say thank you
for kindnesses, support and laughs.)



Edit:
Let's hear it for WDC -
There's just so much to do!
A literary passion connects you and me
As we read, write and review.

(Let's hear it for WDC.
There's just so much to do!
A literary passion connects you and me
as we read, write and review.)



Edit:
There's just so much to do -
The online writing community.
As we read, write and review,
Creating this sense of unity.

(There's just so much to do
the online writing community.
As we read, write and review
creating this sense of unity.)



Edit:
The online writing community
A place to be creative and play!
Creating this sense of unity -
Let's all celebrate - today's the day!


(The online writing community
a place to be creative and play!
Creating this sense of unity
let's all celebrate - today's the day!)



Obviously, I know the purpose is over, and you may think it is not relevant or important today, treating the work is invalid today; I think value and importance of the work is still considerable, the occasion is over, and I do not think, any editing would be an act of changing or mending or rewriting history, since it is a work and it is still placed for reading in public.



Please note, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, for better read, in the bracket, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this work with us.





Scribe Inspire Readers Spontaneously!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
574
574
Review of Life Dance  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Life at 21, 31, 41, 51 state status!
Minutely going to the end status!



This is an exploratory and experimental work with a quest for end state of life, a generalized point of view explored and shared, a reader is assigned with a task to ponder.



OMG! You have done a good job. I liked the work of poem, a poem of life, a poem about life, a poem about status of life, a poem about life at different age, a poem about perspective of life, a poem about looks of life, a poem about outlook of life, a poem about life an existence, a poem about life a cause, a poem about life expectancy, a poem about expectation in life, a poem about recognition to life, a poem about expectation in life, a poem with a quest for life, a poem about meaning of life, a poem about protection of life.




I enjoyed the story, the outline of the story, the quest, the search, the theme, the concept, the taletelling, the monologue flavour of expression, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.



Title of the poem is metaphorically appropriate, significant, if not catchy; though I expect a title of a poem may be in addition, comprehensive, complete, compact and comprehensible; as I read, I find the title of the poem relates to the thematic appreciation of the poem and it does not appear to me incorrect.



I think, you have not given enough importance to the natural and eternal aspects of life, as you have only shown how life turns changed at certain age, for example, at the age of 21 or 51, while, I think, change is inevitable and natural, the point of view of the same is not considered as a whole.



Edit:
When I was 21,
Life was young and grand.

(When I was 21
life was young and grand.)



Edit:
When I was 31,
life was free and easy.

(When I was 31
life was free and easy.)



Edit:
When I was 41,
life was predictable.

(When I was 41
life was predictable.)



Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above.



Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.





Scribe Inspire Readers Spontaneously!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
575
575
Review of Honor  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Honor veterans!
Honor connotations!
Honor summations!
Honor exemplifications!




OMG! You have done an honorable job. I liked the work of poem, a poem on honor, a poem of honor, a poem about honor, a poem for honor, a poem upon honor, a poem through honor, a poem to honor, a poem concerning honor, a poem on to honor, a poem in to honor, a poem honor matters, a poem telling honor, a poem describing honor, a poem explaining honor, a poem showing honor, a poem speaking world of honor.




I enjoyed the story, the theme, the concept, the subject, and the viewpoint, the free flow of thoughts, the taletelling, the explanations, the exemplifications, and the connotative descriptions, the conceptions, the misconceptions and the limiting factors of honor, the explorations, the amplifications, the illustrations, the showing, the descriptions, and the style of expression, the point of view, the imagery, the word visuals, and the read.




Title of the poem is good, appropriate and significant but it is not catchy; though I find, it has relevance to the theme of the poem, but it is subjective and too formal; I expect a title of a poem may be in addition, comprehensive, compact and complete; not necessarily, I do not say, it is incorrect and incomplete, but I get no catch in the title of the poem.




Edit:
It’s healing wounds inflicted to the body and the heart.
(Its healing wounds inflicted to the body and the heart.)




Edit:
They live the oaths they've taken and will not betray
their vows this great nation in what they say and do.

They live the oaths they've taken and will not betray
their vows to this great nation in what they say and do.





Edit:
Their stalwart devotion deserves more than a “thank you.”
(Their stalwart devotion deserves more than a ‘thank you’.)




Edit:
An entry for January Round of "HONORING OUR VETERANS"
(An entry for January 2014 Round of "HONORING OUR VETERANS")




Please check, I have humbly offered some suggestions as edits, in the brackets, as above.




Well done; thank you for sharing this poem with us.






Scribe Inspire Readers Spontaneously!
by Guru Valmiki Aristotle Scriber Author IconMail Icon
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1,010 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 41 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/myguruvalmiki/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/23