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1,659 Public Reviews Given
1,698 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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251
Review of Bath Troubles  
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, A E Haas,

I enjoyed reading your little 100 word story. It has a good beginning, middle and end. It has a kind of sad sentiment though.



Only one small grammatical error -
him in the tub. - should be 'into'

Other than that no errors of any kind.

Best Wishes, Cynaemon
252
252
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Choconut,

I enjoyed reading your little 100 word story. It was fun and it made me smile. I found no grammatical or other errors to detract from you work. It has a good beginning, middle and end. I also liked the way Alfie 'talked' to his Mum

Keep up the good work. Cynaemon
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253
Review of Tabachoy  
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Candy,

I really enjoyed your little 100 word story. It has a great sentiment. It also has a strong beginning, middle and ending. I found no grammatical or other errors to detract from your work.

Paolo about Tabachoy whose name means cute, - I think I would have put a comma after Tabachoy, but certainly not anything I considered critacal

Keep up the good work. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
254
254
Review of Art Detour  
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, BeHereBook,

I enjoyed reading your little 100 word story. It has a good beginning, middle and ending. I found no grammatical or other errors to detract from your work. You also did an excellent job punctuating your conversation.

Keep on writing. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
255
255
Review of A Termite's Tale  
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Ravenwand,

This is a great little story, and you certainly covered the parameters perfectly, as far as I could see. This mush have taken a long time to perfect.

I found not grammatical or other errors to detract from your work.

Best Wishes, Cynaemon
256
256
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi, Don Two,
Congratulations on being featured in the Romance/Love Newsletter. I really enjoyed reading your poem, or maybe it should be called poetic prose. It tells a sad story with lovely words.

Technically, I found no grammatical or other errors. I love the way your thoughts flow from line to line.

Best Wishes, Cynameon
257
257
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Rhychus,

Congratulations on being featured in the Romance Newsletter, and also for winning the Writer's Cramp. Wow! That is pretty cool. This is a nice little poem. Good rhythm and flow, good rhymes, no grammatical or other errors. Darn! I can't find a single thing about which to complain. :)

Keep up the good work. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
258
258
Review of Heatwave  
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, One Scribe,

Sorry about the mistake. Re-reading your poem, I see that you are correct. Agape has several very different meanings, although the word is spelled the same. And I am familiar with both words and pronunciations.

You have done a good job with the brevee form also.

Keep on writing. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
259
259
Review of Heatwave  
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi, One scribe,

This is a good attempt at the brevee form. I think you have done a good job with the form, but I am not sure 'agape' is the word you want here. Maybe you meant a gape. For one thing, agape does not rhyme with escape. It also doesn't make sense in the context of the poem.

Keep on writing. Cynaemon
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260
Review of Butter  
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, sabaka,

This is a really nice little brevee poem. You have done a good job with the form and format of the poem. I also liked your subject matter. You might consider putting the parameters of a brevee at the end of your poem, as a lot of people may not know what they are.

Keep on writing. Cynaemon
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261
Review of Beautiful Pain  
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi, Micah,

Welcome to writing.com. This is a nice little poem, but there are many grammatical errors in it.

Shes The prettiest picture - She's - not Shes

Baby Now Your Doomed” - you're

Thinking You Love Me The Same. - loved me the same

Lift It With Crane. - with "a" crane


Distinguished cause - 'cause not cause

Cause I was Hoping - 'cause

No Body - nobody is one word, not two

She was the stars - 'my' stars

Best Wishes, Cynaemon
262
262
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, intuelynTempLogCabin,

This is a nice little romantic poem. And the sentiment goes along very well with the title of the poem. I wonder why you didn't use the word 'colored' in the main title. It would make more sense. Good luck in the contest.

Best Wishes, Cynaemon
263
263
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi, Mista Winstrom,

Another nice poem. You have very lofty ideas, but I enjoy the way you convey those sentiments. Good luck in the Poetry Contest. I really don't think you should end every line with a period. A reader will naturally pause when they see a period, and that interrupts the flow of the poem.

Best Wishes, Cynaemon
264
264
Review of Angelic Wings  
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, Mista Winstrom,

This is a nice little poem. I can really see the angelic warriors soaring into oblivion. I enjoyed reading this. I am not sure that you need to end every line with a period. It might actually be better to just leave the periods out altogether.

Keep writing. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
265
265
Review of Forever  
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi, Zoë Rae,

Welcome to writing.com. This is a lovely poem with a lovely sentiment, and I really enjoyed reading it. However, there are quite a few grammatical and spelling errors which need to be corrected.

If only I were still here. -'there'

The mountain streams, The wide open plains, The beautiful glacier lakes, - you do not need to capitalize "the", although I understand that you are trying to emphasize the ideas. If you want to use capitals then make each line a separate sentence

And when I die Bury me in the earth, covering the place, - you need a comma after 'die', and no need to capitalize 'bury'


I now lie with all of the beautiful colours of the rainbow, - don't need a comma at the end of the last line, and this line should be 'where I will lie', since you are not there yet, unless you are already dead.

So as I will never be forgotten and remembered always, - if you want to emphasize this idea then make it two sentences: So I will never be forgotten
So that I will be remembered always

Also you do not need the word 'as' in the sentence

Forever, Not for who or what we are but for where we are from, - but from thence we came - you should not end a sentence with a preposition, also do not capitalize 'Not'

a whole world devoid of colour, - need a comma after 'world' and also this sentence could easily be interpreted as wanting to see a black and white world. I understand what you are trying to say, and I applaud you for the sentiment, but maybe try this instead - 'devoid of the seeing of color,'

and sterio type, - stereo

indevidual - indiviual

and special gifts that make our lives compleate. - and 'with' special gifts - and 'complete'

beach, so beautiful and peaceful place. - maybe should be such a beautiful and peaceful a place

27/07/2010My beach, - needs a space after 2010

I am only giving this a three because of the many errors. I will be happy to re-rate it when you clean them up, because it really should have a higher rating. Always be sure to read and re-read your work, and take the time to correct these kinds of errors.

Best Wishes, Cynaemon
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266
Review of A Human Awareness  
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Tim Chiu,

This is an interesting poem, and I enjoyed reading it. I like the way it deals with very modern things. It has a good rhythm and flow, and I found no grammatical or other errors to detract from your work.

Keep up the good work.

Best wishes, Cynaemon
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267
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, bubblegum,

I really loved your little blank verse poem. There are such lovely sentiments in your thoughts, and you have expressed them in such a beautiful and flowing way. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. I am encouraged to try writing blank verse. I love writing poetry, but this is a form I have not used in the past.

Keep writing. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
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268
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi, Storm Drain,

This is a great idea for a contest, and I am enjoying reading all the past entries. I wish I had discovered this a long time ago. This little mini-stories are such fun to write. I hope you will re-open the contest sometime soon.

Best Wishes, Cynaemon
269
269
Review of Stranger  
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, Mandy Reign,

I enjoyed reading your little 55 word story, and especially liked the twist at the end. Could this be the beginning of something bigger. Good beginning, middle and ending. I saw no grammatical or other errors to distract from the reading.

Keep writing. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
270
270
Review of No Denying It  
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi, C Moore,

This is an interesting little 55 word story, and I enjoyed reading it. It has a good beginning, middle and ending.

Congratulations on winning 1st place in the contest. I saw no grammatical or other errors to detract from the reading. Keep on writing.

Keep on writing. Cynaemon
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271
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi, ForgetMeNot,

This is an interesting little vignette, but I don't really think it is a whole story. It was also very predictable.

You did a good job of punctuating your conversation correctly. I saw no grammatical or other errors to detract from your work.

Keep writing. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
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272
Review of The Burglar  
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi, Mitch,

I enjoyed reading your little 55 word story. It has a good beginning, middle and ending. You have also punctuated your conversation correctly. I saw no grammatical or other errors to distract from your work. Nice twist to the end.

Keep writing. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
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273
Review of Dessert  
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, Mumsy,

I enjoyed reading your little 55 word story. It has a nice, unexpected ending, as well as a good beginning and middle. I didn't see any grammatical or other errors to detract from your work.

I hope you will continue to write.

Best Wishes, Cynaemon
274
274
Review of My 55 word story  
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi, Stephanie,

Congratulations on entering the 55 word story contest. This is an interesting entry. You have quite a , umm, long name. LOL. It was really fun reading it even though it wasn't a story. I hope you will keep trying and keep writing.

Best Wishes, Cynaemon
275
275
Review of Relief by Death  
Review by Cynaemon
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Hi, Lee S.,

I liked your little 55 word story. It has a good sentiment.


She died today the death of the old. - you need a comma after 'today,'

Through a peaceful sleep, her pain has now been removed. - you do not need a comma in this sentence.

Keep writing. Cynaemon
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