Welcome again to writing.com. I see you have been busy writing. That is great. I liked reading your little poem. I didn't see the connection to death in it. Other than that it is a nice little free-form poem
The rain tip taps on the window, - TIP-TAPS is a hyphenated word
This is an interesting poem about life on a submarine. I have to admit I was a bit confused. I think you have done a good job with the Rondeau format, but why wouldn't you put the refrain as a separate line at the top? I admit I am not all that familiar with this format, so maybe that is why I have the question. Also, in the last verse you only have A.A.B.B., but no final A before the R.
Also, I am assuming quals mean his qualifications. And I am sure most people don't know what a Poopie Suit is. It would be nice if you explained the terms at the end of the poem so that the reader does not feel so confused.
Welcome to writing.com. I hope you will enjoy your stay here. I thought this was an interesting poem, and that is was interesting that you compared yourself to Icarus. You have done a good job with the free-form format.
I only knew my ambitions was to soar above mountains - should be AMBITIOM
accomplishments, I relished - no comma needed after accomplishments
Welcome to writing.com. I hope you enjoy your stay here. I enjoyed reading your story. It has a good beginning, middle and end. I hope you will find lots of new things to try here. I personally love to write slash fanfiction.
I enjoyed reading your description of a Harry Potter fanfiction characater. She sounds very much like Harry Potter. There are a lot of similarites. I assume there is more to this story. It would be fun to read the rest. I have considered doing Harry Potter fanfiction myself, but haven't so far. I am too much into my Middle Earth fanfiction. LOL
Just one little typo:
Maybe that because - should be THAT'S
I really liked your poem about touching eternity. It tells an interesting story. This is a good free-form poem, with a nice rhythm and flow. I found no grammatical or spelling errors.
Welcome to writing.com I hope you will enjoy your stay here. I enjoyed reading your poem about the ocean.
the most inspiring component of nature next to earth - I think it would make more sense to say 'of nature ON earth', although I think I understand what you are trying to say.
Never to die nor sin - I am not sure I understand what you are trying to say with this line. I don't think the ocean can sin.
This is an interesting little poem about Barabbas. You have certainly described him with a great many words. It has a nice rhythm and flow. I found not grammatical or spelling errors in your piece. I hope you do well in the contest.
Welcome to writing.com. I hope you will enjoy your stay here. This is an interesting story, and I think it has possibilities. I understand what you are trying to say, and it is a good sentiment. There are many grammatical errors in your story.
a army-type trousers and shoes on - had on army-type trousers and shoes
wondering the motive -wondering ABOUT the
with the incoming scent - don't need the word INCOMING
even more further - don't need the word FURTHER
come in terms - come TO terms
and suffocating than - need a comma after SUFFOCATINGF
from this worldly - THESE worldly
I realize the naetof what I wrote. But I hope for a world where everybody is as nae as such. - there are no such words as NAETOF and NAE
Reading this, I assume that English is not your first language. You have done a good job, but you should correct these errors.
Welcome to writing.com. I hope you will enjoy your stay here. I liked your poem, and it certainly conveys the meaning or the title well. I would never want to live like this, but I know that many people do.
a zooming by - should be A-ZOOMING
Everyone doing there own thing - THEIR thing
we are doing - need a comma after doing
We are all happy that's what counts - need a comma after HAPPY, and COUNTS
a happening - A-HAPPENING
others on computer ot tablet - OR tablet, and need a comma after tablet
lots a happening even baking - A-HAPPENING, and need a comma after this word
Welcome to writing.com. I hope you enjoy your stay here. I liked your little poem about perception. It has a nice rhythm and flow, and a good sentiment. I found no grammatical or spelling errors in your work.
This is another interesting poem from you. Your writing has such a dark sentiment. But writing has a way of healing like playing music does, so I hope that you are healing through your writing.
Rescus stops when I say so. - RESCUS? Unless this is a medical term, to which I could find no reference, I will assume it is a misspelled word.
One quest in common to
Live. - should have a comma after COMMON
I look into your eyes, wanting - comma after WANTING.
Welcome to writing.com. I hope you will enjoy your stay here. I enjoyed reading your short story about spring. It is well-written, but has such a sad sentiment. Just a couple of little grammatical errors. You should never end a thought or sentence with a preposition.
to sit and roast marshmallows by the fire with - with which to sit and roast marshmallows by the fire
Welcome to writing.com. I hope you will enjoy your stay here.
I really enjoyed reading your short story about the pinwheel. It has such a sad sentiment. I think you have done a wonderful job of developing your character. Your story has a good beginning, middle and ending. I am happy to say I found no grammatical or spelling errors.
I really enjoyed your poem about War and Peace. I think the title fits your poem perfectly, and I like the words you have chosen to convey the thought behind the poem. You have done a great job with this format. I found no spelling errors in your poem.
I enjoyed reading your diamante poem. I thought it was interesting that you left-aligned your poem. Most diamante poems I have seen are centered. I don't know if you chose to do this on purpose, or if it just worked out that way. I think it would have been more effective centered, but just my opinion. I like the words you have chosen.
I really enjoyed reading your poem about Puddles. I think the title goes along nicely with the sentiment of the poem. This is a good free-form poem with a great flow and rhythm. In fact, I really like the way it flows along right to the end. It also has some great images.
I especially liked these lines:
That the sky set inside your eyes
Appeared a darker shade of blue.
I loved your poem about the Red Tea Pot. I can just see it setting on the table filled with tea. I love to drink tea with my friends. We have a little Tea Shop here in the town where I live which is run by a good friend. I have spent many hours there gabbing with friends. I also go to my best friend's house, and we sit and watch tea bloom in her glass tea pot. Your poem has a nice rhythm and flow, and it captures a moment between friends wonderfully. I am putting it in my favorites.
I loved your poem about the day's news. It is excellent. I have never visited the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, but as a veteran, it is something I would love to do someday. I don't know if you have ever served in the military, but I think you have captured the dedication of those who do serve perfectly. Thank you so much for your lovely poem. I am going to put it in my favorites section.
This is a nice little diamante poem. Congratulations on your win. You have done a good job with both the format of the poem and the prompts. I was kind of surprised that there were so many prompts. There aren't that many words in a diamante poem to start with. LOL. Anyway, keep up the good writing. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
I enjoyed reading your poem about sunshine. It has a lovely and happy sentiment. The title goes nicely with the poem. You have done a great job with the prompt and the format. There were no grammatical or spelling errors.
I enjoyed reading your poem about the Chinese New Year. This looks like it was a fun contest. Your poem has a nice rhythm and flow, and you did a great job with the prompt and the challenge. I found no grammatical or spelling errors in your work.
This is an interesting little piece. I am not sure that I would call it a poem. It is basically just statement written in a poetic form.
Bullies need you fail: - It should be need you TO fail, however, as you are trying to stay within the 17 syllables, it could read: Bullies need YOUR fail.
Also, these verses are not really haiku. A haiku has a specific format of 5-7-5 syllables. It is not just a 17 syallable line.
I loved your little poem about the green planet. It made me laugh, and all I can say is, "Thanks. I needed a good laugh today." You have done a great job with the prompt. One can just see the little green men invading with total alienness.
Keep up the good writing. Cynaemonn
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