Very heartfelt and tender. I am getting alot of love poems on here today, and I am trying to stay detached from this viewpoint at the time. I should write somehting about this that will allow others to understand. I am challenging me and the opposite sex, to see who truly does love. Moreover, to prove to myself and God that thats all the love I need right now, for its unconditional, and thats how I love. Very good write! You have alot of talent.
Fav Part:
"In that moment,
In the dwelling place of eternity,
hearts and souls...
Became clear to me...
It was as if I understood everything that has happened in my life all these years...
And... the time which was to come
I became unbearably sad...
Akari's warmth, her spirit,
How should I treat them,
where should I bring them?
That was something I did not know."
Now do you see why I am taking this test for myself and God?
Great write! I hope this situation resolves itself.
Many unconditional loving Blessings,
Quite a story!! Names familiar...especially Joanna. I dont know what kind of morbidness this is trying to portray, however, It left me feeling uneasy. Why? I dont know. Maybe because you speak of this death so lightly as you and your family eat "McDonalds" How does one even eat when their daughter is about to die? The reference to the crash, explicitely could have been left out too, if caring is the whole point here, or even a tribute to a wonderful life. Very darkended, evil, and just a complete sad gloating.
Please help me understand the underlying meaning this story holds. I am quite confused. I look at all facets of writing, being a writer myself!
Unless this is fantasy, and even fantasy has reality within ones own mind combined, this is a little unpeaceful. Why is that? Why would you write about your family in such a way? I call this misery and depression at its best. If that was the point you were going for, you did it well! I only hope to God, this is not really the way you view your family in a fantasy. I am sure they wouldnt be happy about it. Or maybe they would. You never know. Good story, just not my style.
I pray for you and your lovely daughter Joanna. I hope she finally rests in peace. May God bless you in all areas. Seriously.
This was certainly a different literary style. I know the whole message behind it already. It doesnt even need to be clarified. I have two words to sum this poem up. "Slam Dunk". Very good at portraying how the playing field works. Although the description of the title gives the whole poem away. Might want to alter that if you are trying to be an effective mystery writer and get better feedback. Just looking out for you, Jordan.
Fav part:
"The buzzer sounds just as the ball swishes the net and the crowd goes wild shouting " JORDAN! JORDAN! JORDAN! " As he wins the match for his team, again. "
Keep it up! Good write. It was a pleasure to read.
Very mystical.. or (misty)cal should I say. Unbelievable write here. Very angered, very dark, very gothic. Good work. It speaks of madness and despair all at once. You encaptured those feelings well here. The poem flowed well, it had hardly any grammatical errors, just a little bit of a harshness to it that is not really clarified as to why. Thats fine. Its your Authorized work, and I am an authorized reviewer. We cant get to interpret them all so clearly, none of us reviewers, thats the magic of it. I loved the longing here, though I am not sure why you keep repeating that this person needs you. Nobody needs anyone, except their parents when they are small. We must first need ourselves to truly need another.
Fav Part?
"But stop me now,you can,
Just say that you don't need it.
And I shall leave you,I'll be damned!
You want to live? So be it!"
I hope that this issue resolves itself. I hope you find peace again within. Blessings.
This is a really intense felt write! I was amazed at the creativity of it, and its quite different form the other sponsered item of yours I reviewed. Impeccable grammar and word flow...kept me interested. That is the point of being a writer, and you nailed it pretty well.
This was absolutely incredible!! Its actually what I needed to see. What a heartfelt and unbelievable poem of a distanced love. You are an nagel to have written this. It was tender, true, flowed wonderfully, and had a warmth in the meaning that was worth a thousand words.
Fav Part?
"Mountains and Trees, Rivers and Plains
Stretch the distance between us
Overcame with tremendous ease
As our hearts reach to one another
They soar through the skies on wings of eagles"
I hope you and Emilia come together soon!! This is classic love.
This was creepy, and somewhat confusing, but brilliantly written! I love fantasy although I cant write them well. I admire this writing! It is wonderful. It seems that this is almost inescpable. And I say I love fairy-tales, however, they arent always with happy endings. Hopefullly they do have them, but it cant always be that way. You depicted that in a great way.
Unbelievable inspiration!! This story was so familiar and comfortable. I too, have an interest in this religious subject, yet am only a beginner with it. I thought the character "Alena" "Chen, and Priya". It just goes to show tyou, the things some people fear most are the very things that are safer thanb what they knew in the past. I loved this story! Absolutely incredible, and the unity in coming together was the ultimate treat!
Favorite part:
"But most importantly, there are four figures standing united on the beach, looking out to that blue horizon filled with hope and happiness, hand-in-hand."
This reminds me of a meditation I had. Very good and positive.
You are an amazing writer!
Keep this inspirational peace up!
You took the words right out of my mouth here! Brilliant description of God. You have a good head on your shoulders to write this. I love rejoicing in Gods meaning. This is my opinion exactly! You pegged this with such beauty and wonder! God Bless you for the tribute to him!!
Fav part:
"What will be, is now,
What you are, I am,
What I am, so are you-
There is not a single molecule
In the universe that is not connected.
From one source we came,
And to one source we shall return."
"
This was perfect as perfect can be. Please keep up these inspirational writes! You are so wonderful at communicating the meaning!
Unbelievable! I really love my Aunt too, and she was battling Cancer but survived. I can feel the hurt and the pain here, its a great tribute to your AAunt and also teaches a valuable lesson. Once someone is Gone, you do regret what you never had said to them or being closer. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am sure your Aunt is smiling down and very proud of you!!
Fav Part?
"You never truly realize
How fragile life is
Until someone close dies
And you didn’t say goodbye
Pain lined with regret
As the tears stream down
You’ll never forget
How you left without a sound"
What a way to put a very deep lesson about life and death. If you need to talk, I am here!
This is a geat teaching. I loved the message. I believe not many know this or of they do, they choose to look the other way. My take is there is always enough time to evolve and change the past, no matter what , or through what. This was a beautiful interpretation of how life should be or thoughts that should be more tended to.
Fav Part:
"Not once did I check for for the minor spelling and grammar errors nor contemplated whether indeed the whole construction of my work-in-progress was fundamentally flawed from the very first word on the very first page"
Thats me!! Not checking for spelling or grammar when I should. I admit my flaws. lol. There are many, just as anyone else.
Hi, I'm Anna! I have come to review your writing!! All of my reviewing is meant to inspire, encourage,
& always be as fair and honest as possible. Okay,Here We Go!!
My Thoughts On This Piece:
This is an inceredibly thought provoking piece. One of my favorites. Sorry your life is so messed up. Nobody deserves that! I feel this way sometimes, though it's getting better, and clearer, and I am not so afraid anymore. I just know about this feeling ad the way you described this was highly emotional and I felt every word you wrote!! This is truth, I like truth. Very admirable.
Fav Part:
"If I run, will I run back into it again? Will I run right back into the same thing? You can't run away from your problems, they follow you. Isn't that what they say? This vicious little circle of running and chaos. Chaos and running."
Hi, I am Anna. I have come to review your work! All of my reviews are honest, and fair, while inspiring and encouraging! Okay, Lets Get Started!
My thoughts on this piece:
I think I really felt this to be a liberating poem and I thought the power in it was highly apparent. I always seek knowledge, but do not commit myself to anything that i may not agree with. I believe this is a good free flowing poem with a good rhyme shceme!
I didnt agree with the sinnig and lying and gloating about it. I know we all sin and lie at times, however, the point is to have a balcance where you dont think its always acceptable to be in sin when making your life work for you. Balance is the key. I only know that too well. Otherwise, this was really impressive and honest and that is always a wonderful thing to see!
Fav part:
"Societal norms,
Keep my movement constricted,
My ambitions are banned,
Forbidden; restricted,
But wait,
Clear the slate,
For it’s not yet to late"
Hi, I am Anna. I have come to review your work! All of my reviews are honest, and fair, while inspiring and encouraging! Okay, Lets Get Started!
My thoughts on this piece:
Very interesting write. Tne ducks in the pond were extremely creative to make this story. I can't seem to think why one would want to scare another or others mfor that matter for no particular reason. This gave me the chills, it was very creepy, I am sure that was intended, however, why does he do nothing but laugh that they are scared?? I wish you said that. Overall, higly creative, like someones playing games just for fun or something. Had a halloween feel to it. I enjoyed this, yet was baffled by it. Good writing skill though!
Hi, I am Anna. I have come to review your work! All of my reviews are honest, and fair, while inspiring and encouraging! Okay, Lets Get Started!
My thoughts on this piece:
I am in 200 percent agreement with this poem. It is a highly good teachung, it shows compassion, forgivesness, togetherness, and al of that leads to one emotion only: happiness. How can this philosiphy ever go wrong if used correctly? Great work.
Fav Part?
"People ignore power
but take it all
Why does the world hate
When we can choose to love?"
Is this for me??? lol. Do I need to ask?? lol even more. This is great. Its touching, its sweet, its caring, its you!! May I put this in my highlighted items??? Please? I loved how you write it in purple..that was really nice. The words tho?? I would never condemn you for feeling the way you feel. You arent condemning me, and I even if you were, I would accept it. I love truth, My truth is, I am in no way condemning your truth. I love your truth. It makes me feel very good, yet it makes me think..Thats what I love the most. Just you being you.
Tell me tommorrow if I can highlight this, I am writing the id number down...this way, I dont have to go through the maze in your port!! lol. This was extremely beautiful though. Thank you.
Anna P. Anda
Hi, I am Anna. I have come to review your work! All of my reviews are honest, and fair, while inspiring and encouraging! Okay, Lets Get Started!
My thoughts on this piece:
Wonderful poem of all truth in emotion while in love, yet done so very gently..You are a very soft and subtle writer...I like that.
My Fav Part:
"I long to hear the words I know you cannot say.
Each morning I awake with hope that this will be the day.
I can't stop the feelings...you are my everything.
You make my heart melt...you make my soul sing.
I cannot predict what the future holds.
"Just live each day" is what I'm told."
There are no guarantees, but people like you and I let that in regardless. At least I try a much as I can!!
Hi, I am Anna. I have come to review your work! All of my reviews are honest, and fair, while inspiring and encouraging! Okay, Lets Get Started!
My thoughts on this piece:
Exceptional love write!! Wow!!
Thsi was hidden compassion at its best!! Great wirk! I love forgiving and undying love, Unconditonal if you will, This is a perfect example of this. Your girlfreind is very lucky to have your compassion and creativity.
Fav Part;
"The deeper I sight inside of her soul
Intertwined, for a moment I'm whole
Inside of her eyes, there's a city on fire
A tapestry of love, extremely thin wire"
What a colorful way to show care and tenderness!'
Keep it up!!
Hi, I am Anna. I have come to review your work! All of my reviews are honest, and fair, while inspiring and encouraging! Okay, Lets Get Started!
My thoughts on this piece:
Vey good! Very well summed up, short, impactful, and delivers a beautiful messages for all lost souls! I loved the ethereal feel. Very nice!
Fav Part?
"built upon this beautiful cornerstone
where the sky opens to free lost souls
hunger for a feeling lost so innocently
broken spirits cascading in the current"
Very mystical, loving, and all around a great write!
Keep this up!!
Hi, I am Anna. I have come to review your work! All of my reviews are honest, and fair, while inspiring and encouraging! Okay, Lets Get Started!
My thoughts on this piece:
Awesome teaching value in this poem! I really respect the opinion in a softened fashion. It is thought provoking and really understandable and the reviewer gets food for thought out of it! Very Creative! The format was great too.
My Fav Part?
"And if you lose it all,
If it all goes wrong,
All will be forgiven,
Because when its over,
Everyone knows,
That life is just for living."
Keep it up!! Very inspiring and still in my thoughts. That is profound! Thank you for sharing!
Hi, I am Anna. I have come to review your work! All of my reviews are honest, and fair, while inspiring and encouraging! Okay, Lets Get Started!
My thoughts on this piece:
"Chilling, very good in the horror genre and the macabre i general, thus was actually very interesting to read. I hope that you find the love once again in your heart, as nobody should feel so angered by love or sad for that matter. It shouldn't be that way.
Fav Part:
"blank stares into nothing
matters enough to give me pause to
focus on my flaws and my own perpetrated
disregard to the laws of love
cant exist anymore"
Hi, I am Anna, I am here to review your work! I am highly inspiring and encouraging and my reviews are fair & honest!
Okay, so Let's Begin!
My Thoughts on this piece:
This was a really entertaining and well thought out piece, all of the characters, Daniella, Krei,Christine, Nicole, Eric, they were all very wonderfully depicted and the cynicism wasnt over the top, however just critically tactful. Nicole does sound like a mean girl! lol. I must say that. This really was a treat to read, and the format was impeccable.
My Fave Part:
"But the real great mystery was: Why are they in bankrupt? Eric refused to talk about it. He hadn’t told anyone, not even Nicole. He feared of being rejected by her, not that he loved her though. It was all for the sake of his family. Nicole Tudela was his ticket back to Lima’s High Class. Just having a Tudela as a wife would automatically make his family The Nollaghers again.
“Ugh Keri, shut up. Carla is way too fat.”. Eric was suddenly awakened by Nicole’s loud voice.
“Oh my god. Are you kidding me? Carla is not fat!” Madison exclaimed. Nicole gave her a killer look.
“She’s not that skinny anyway.” Nicole answered sharply. “I’m way skinnier than her.” She smiled.
Eric sometimes couldn’t understand why Madison and Keri were best friends with Nicole. They were both rich and had good last names. Why did they have to stand such an egocentric person?
And he always came to the same conclusion: Popularity."
Really drove in the horrible character in the story. Alot of people always make fun of me, saying Im too thin, and I cant help it, I would love to look like an hourglass but I cant. Sadly. So, it pains me when someone else that is "skinny" to even amke such an awful remark about someone with more shape. I'll take some poinds from Carla! lol.
Hi, I am Anna, I am here to review your work! I am highly inspiring and encouraging and my reviews are fair & honest!
Okay, so Let's Begin!
My Thoughts on this piece:
Great teaching you have through your writing!! I am amazed that others see the same thing I do! Actullay, its not amazing, it's real and very nice to see. I liked how you formed the opinions of others, whether or not they are true! Most people arent true. You will find this sad, as I have, but, Oh well, life goes on and on and on.....The best thing is that you realize the heart is bigger than the success, the heart is huger than the face masking it, the heart is more immense than the mockery thats fantasy. I have a great quote for this, ohhh and I usually dont share these..however this poem inspired me to!! And I quote:
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But, I refuse to be reduced by it."-Maya Angelou.
My fav part?
"I wonder why he tries so hard to be a good child,
When everyone assumes he is childish and wild.
Sure he needs to grow up a little bit more,
But Society is the one who needs to open the door..."
Wonderful ending to an inspirational piece that should teach all the value of a soul.
Hi, I am Anna, I am here to review your work! I am highly inspiring and encouraging and my reviews are fair & honest!
Okay, so Let's Begin!
My Thoughts on this piece:
Very creative in such small words! I loved that! I have a personal problem summing things up to be the most pewerful, so I give you lotsa credit!
This gave me a creepy feeling, but not really! lol.
I am sure I could make YOU pull that comforter up over your face even more, with my experience. Yet, its for me, and I will not tell. lol. I enjoyed this, and I dont think you need to be afraid. I think you should have ran after the SOB!! Thats me, personally. I have done it before, it works well! Who cares if you get shot, at least you werent avoiding the obvious. Great fictional write!
Fav Part:
" He stood at the edge of the yard, longingly gazing up at the house. Was he looking at me? I shuddered as I pulled the downy comforter up to my chin. Stupid snowman. "
Imagination is the best! I loved that Snowman part!
Hi, I am Anna, I am here to review your work! I am highly inspiring and encouraging and my reviews are fair & honest!
Okay, so Let's Begin!
My Thoughts on this piece:
Very virtual! I understood the underlying message though. I think or ope this a great fictional piece. It actually has some reality to it, if the mind can tink past the "sheltered sugar coated" reality and see that things are not rosey all of the time, especially when somebody is the target of unknown hate. You really made the story easy to read. And I dont understand why you only got a two star rating. I will have to raise that up, being In The Angel Army. I thought this was innocent and then truthfully macabre at the end. Isnt the truth always macabre when its inside ourselves? Maybe I am just too hard on myself, however, I believe everyone knows the truth of wrong-doing and game playing. Allow them peace when and if they ever realize their actions are scorned from up above.
Anyhow! On a lighter note!
Favorite part:
"And just then, an even more devastating thought strikes me: “What if I am the evil genius who created and is operating this game? What if it is I who inflicted all this misery, pain, suffering onto myself and the whole world? But why would I do that? Why would I torment myself so?”"
Great truth...especially when talking gaming or any production of Media entertainment.
Keep it up!!
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