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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/purpleprincess
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2,619 Public Reviews Given
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Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Return to Sender  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Rhythm/Rhyme:
Rhyme wasn't necessary in your poem, but the echoing words gave the poem a nice rhythm.

Summary:
You created an echo poem, where you repeat the last syllable of each line and use it for the beginning of the next line of the poem. I don't know if eighteen lines were required for an echo poem since this is the first time I've read an echo poem. I see that pets was also used in your genres, and I was expecting a common house pet, so it was great that you used something else entirely, which gave great shock value.

The poem starts by addressing Santa; I expected it to be a cute holiday poem. I liked that you took my assumption and led the reader elsewhere.

I've lived through a house being torn up and remodeled, so I can identify with the lack of space and chaos. Kudos to anyone living through that undertaking.

There was only one spot where things threw me while reading the Christmas tale.

it is back.
Back
Back

I just wondered if you could've changed the word back so it wasn't repeated so closely again.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you!




This would be my name. }
2
2
for entry "Bible Reading" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Personal Response
Wow, I was shocked to see that hefty goal you set for yourself, knowing how intricate the Bible is, no matter which version you choose. But I know people do read it from cover to cover, so kudos to you for accomplishing that task three years in a row.

I suppose starting a new church is as challenging as starting a new business, so there I can say that the hard work you put into it can be difficult and rewarding at the same time. Nothing really tops that sense of accomplishment when you set out to do something and reach that pinnacle.

I completely agree with you that it's been a tough year; between wars, elections, the toppling of governments, and a media that seems to be no longer capable of unbiased reporting, it's a lot to digest. I suppose the only thing we really can do is pray that a better tomorrow is on the horizon, even when it doesn't look that way. We never really know what's in store for us until it happens.

Merry Christmas, Jeff, and good luck in your new endeavor. I hope that 2025 brings all good things for you and your family!
*Heartv* ~T
3
3
for entry "The Tender-Hearted " Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Rhythm/Rhyme:
Hi Carly. You have an interesting rhyme scheme for this poem about tender-heartedness, and it worked well.

Summary:
Being sensitive or tenderhearted can be a tough road as you tend to feel things on a deeper level than others, and you manage to convey and capture that truth. I liked that you creatively changed up fight or flight to flight or fright regarding moments in life that illict fear and trepidation.


Critique:
Highly sensitive people do learn how to cope with the added emotions, which can sometimes be crippling. Your poem touched upon the physical and emotional toll that being tender-hearted presents.

Thank you for sharing your work. I enjoyed reading your poem and gaining insights from this short piece. You have a gift for getting right to the heart of the subject matter in a few words, and your word choices make the reader stop and think about all that you are saying.

Great job making it through I Write 2024! It's been a pleasure getting to know you through your writing. I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a productive 2024!

This would be my name. }
4
4
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
PLOT -
The Elf on the shelf becomes the horror of an entire town.

SETTING -
I always found the elf on the shelf to be creepy, and I'm glad to see I'm not the only one. You did a good job setting up the background for this Christmas horror tale, and it paid off as the story moved to center around Clair and her Aunt Colleen. Toward the end, using the white snow and blood coming together created a good visual of the scene.

CHARACTERS -
Colleen hates everything about the holidays and opts out of going to the tree lighting and babysits her niece, Claire, instead. I liked that Colleen didn't laugh off Claire's fear of the elf and put it in the box and out of the way so they could enjoy their evening.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
‘And where do you think you’re going? - missing quotation marks

The dialogue was believable and sounded natural.

THOUGHTS -
Nice job. It's not always easy to turn a beloved character sinister, and from the list you had to choose from, I would've written about the elf, too. Even knowing people move that elf around, I still find it creepy and I'm so glad my kids were older when it became a thing because I would not buy it.

Good luck with your entry into the contest.

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
5
5
Review of Lost youth  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Summary:
Blanche is appalled when she sees her reflection in the mirror, almost as if she's been oblivious to the years as she got older. Now, she realizes the changes that have occurred and blames the mirror.


Critique:
Great job worth the prompt.

Isn't it amazing when we disregard the subtle changes that happen over time and then suddenly we are left seeing everything with new eyes? You described this well, and I could feel that horror from Blanche as she saw herself. You captured this one moment of time and gave the reader a glimpse of these changes in her appearance and her annoyance at the mirror for showing her truth.

I can remember a day like this myself, and it is a sole horrifying when it feels like yesterday you were young and vibrant, and then suddenly you're confronted by time as age has kicked in with all its tell tale signs, like gray hair and wrinkles.

I liked that you used the quote twice, once the quote itself and then the threw the person into the poem. Blanche, blanched worked well to kick this off as the quote started the piece and it was fresh in the readers mind.

Good luck in the contest.

This would be my name. }
6
6
Review of The Dark Lake  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
PLOT -
Samantha was starting high school and was quickly singled out by the Rosedale Roses, a group of nasty girls working hard to be the in crowd. Unfortunately for Samantha, a girl named Jill, who Samantha believes will be her friend, turns out to be a wanna-be to get into the clique if she lures Samantha to the spooking house on the island.

SETTING -
I liked the backstory of the Clayton House on the island. The descriptions were good here and with the cafeteria setting where the Roses question Samantha. That felt natural as the leader, Karen, reminded Samantha that she'd learned about her fears and tried to use them against her.

CHARACTERS -
Samantha's past fears of swimming turn out to be a blessing as she falls into the lake and finds strength to overcome that fear. Karen was just as annoying as I thought when she approached Samantha in the cafeteria. I had a feeling that Jill would also turn out to be an enemy.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
joining other clubs at this school.
That IO would
There are a few instances of Karen said, said Karen that I think you could punch up with other dialog tags that would make the story have better flow.

THOUGHTS -
When Samantha is pushed into the water, you may be able to add to that scene to show her fear before she goes in and her struggle once she's in the water. I wondered how murky the water was, if it was warm or cold, and whether her limbs felt heavy from her clothing or her shoes. These are just little things to heighten the intensity of the incident.

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
7
7
Review of Search and Rescue  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
PLOT -
Kelly is out on her boat recording sounds when she hears of a missing child in the area and she debates whether or not she should help. I have a million questions about Kelly, and I keep trying to read the blog entry to this tale, but get interrupted, so that is something I will have to delve into.

SETTING -
You always do such a fantastic job setting the scene. Every sense is captured as you describe the wildlife and what they are doing, and bringing Kelly's surroundings to life as if I were right there with her, taking it all in from her perch on the boat.

CHARACTERS -
This is the interesting part. When the searchers showed up and asked questions about how she could possibly know about the cabin and the well, she dodged all of these questions. Even after they discovered the child in the exact location she predicted, she sidestepped their questions. That leaves the reader with a lot of questions, and the story hangs on intrigue as we want these questions answered.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
The dialogue was good and felt real. I didn't notice any spelling or grammatical errors.

THOUGHTS -
I love a good plot that leaves me with questions, and knowing there is more to this story I'll be sure to check that out. With all of your descriptive skills this was a quick read because each sentence pulled me right to the next one and I couldn't stop reading. Great job.

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
8
8
Review of Summer Magic  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
PLOT -
Catalina has the twins at the family cabin, and at night, the true adventure begins.

SETTING -
I could picture all of this easily as the tale unfolded, from the children bringing their new treasures to the arrival of the pixie. I could imagine the disaster in the kitchen of the ketchup, and mayo smeared all around the floor. You did well with the descriptions of Mateo and Maya, from their excitement and fear to the evident twin connection.

CHARACTERS -
Catalina seems like a wonderful grandmother, loving the time spent with the grandkids.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
The dialogue added to the adventure and mystery of the story. It felt very natural throughout.

THOUGHTS -
This is a very cute story filled with family history. The reader sees the cabin as a familiar place for Catalina. When the Pixie enters the story, the backstory and Pixie's playfulness add a new layer. You integrated the prompt words well into your story. I was pulled in from the beginning, wondering what the children would do while Calatina busied herself cleaning the cabin. I expected trouble to follow, but you chose not to go that route and gave me an interesting alternative with the excitement of the Northern Lights, the children, and knowing that Catalina had a history at the cabin with the Pixie.

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
9
9
In affiliation with WFTH Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Thank you for entering "Write from the Heart Poetry Contest"  Open in new Window. by Purple Holiday Princess Author Icon

Following the Prompt: *Checkg*
Line Count: *Checkv*

Rhyme/Rhythm/Flow:
Hi Carly. Your poem flowed well from beginning to end as if it were an unfolding story about Leonard Cohen's life.

Emotions/Imagery:
You excel with imagery. This poem showcased his life and how the written word defined him. Thinking about the notebooks from freezer to pocket to drawer says a lot and hits you right from the top, as the images of his life were like continuing on.

Impressions:
I enjoyed the contrasts of frozen and fire, creation and destruction you used to bring home these highs and lows from his life, and yet the music and words thrived. Very informative and nicely written.

This would be my name.

10
10
Review of Ragged Insomnia  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Thank you for entering "Write from the Heart Poetry Contest"  Open in new Window. by Purple Holiday Princess Author Icon

Following the Prompt: *Checkg*
Line Count: *Checkv*

Emotions/Imagery:
You showed your strong connection to this band with the poem about Dan Reynolds from Imagine Dragons. You gave good insight into his upbringing and life and the outlet of music he used to convey his struggles.

Impressions:
I find nothing better than connecting to lyrics that speak to you, and you did here. Dan is truly a gem in a world gone crazy. This piece taught me a lot about the band and its lead singer. Nicely done!

This would be my name.

11
11
Review of Contest Entries  Open in new Window.
for entry "Tim Neufield Elegy" Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Thank you for entering "Write from the Heart Poetry Contest"  Open in new Window. by Purple Holiday Princess Author Icon

Following the Prompt: *Checkg*
Line Count: *Checkv*

Rhyme/Rhythm/Flow:
Good rhythm and flow in your Elegy.

Emotions/Imagery:
My favorite part was the use of sing in, spaced out, yet reading like singing. Very clever and it worked so well in this piece.

Impressions:
I did not know who Tim Neufield was, but it was easy to see that you have fond memories of his music.

This would be my name.

12
12
for entry "Invalid Entry" Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you for entering "Write from the Heart Poetry Contest"  Open in new Window. by Purple Holiday Princess Author Icon

Following the Prompt: *Checkg*
Line Count: *Checkv*

Rhyme/Rhythm/Flow:
Your Eulogy for John Lennon moved well and had good flow except for when you used bull-headed. I would've gone for the foul language.

Emotions/Imagery:
I liked that you brought up the speculation involving him walking away from The Beetles. You covered a good span from his beginning to untimely end. I remember when the new broke, and the world was indeed bereft.

Impressions:
I liked your eulogy. It is a nice tribute to one who was taken too soon.

This would be my name.

13
13
Review of Bird in the Hand  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Summary:
A contest entry where you had to create a poem using the four chosen words. You even managed to use them in the order they were presented in the prompt. The first two lines come from a well-known proverb: just tweaking bird for chicken, which totally worked.


Critique:
I wondered how you would get the word airport in there when I started reading, and you didn't disappoint. I laughed when I read the last line and it fit the piece. You definitely cannot compare a diamond's value to that of a chicken. You did a solid job on working the words in a clever way. It was an enjoyable read and totally unexpected.

This would be my name.. }
14
14
Review of The Sweater  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
PLOT -
When Lanie spots the Pooh sweater, she's drawn to it, despite her mother's reservations. Little did they know, this sweater would become a silent witness to their journey, from a first college date to the hospital and through chemo treatments, carrying the weight of their emotions.



CHARACTERS -
I loved the relationship between Lannie and her mother. Your characters were very authentic.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
I didn't notice any errors.
The fantastic dialog helped create good imagery in my mind as Lanie and her mother discussed the sweater.

THOUGHTS -
I had to see which DF story beat my 80s one *Laugh*

This was a great little flash story. It had good emotion, and highlighting the relationship of this mother-daughter pair worked really well. Congratulations on your well-deserved entry.

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
15
15
Review of Time Flows  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
PLOT -
Jace, his girlfriend, and another couple decide to check out a mysterious house with a door hanging off its hinges. They are all surprised when they step inside to see the immaculate interior.

SETTING -
Great descriptions as Jace looks around the house and notices the newer curtains, a fireplace, and beautiful flooring. You made it easy to picture his surroundings. And then the scenery started fading away like sand slipping through an hourglass. I could see the mad dash to put things back the way they once were, in a fury of activity as one moment is disturbed by another and must be put back the way it originally was.

THOUGHTS -
This worked well. I liked the introduction of the little men working as quickly as they could to reproduce these moments in time. It brings to mind parallel realms and all the possibilities that go with them. You had a nice twist at the end as the reader goes through this journey with Jace, believing that his friends are frozen at that moment in time, yet he discovers that he is stuck and separated.

I wondered if you were hiking and stumbled upon an abandoned mansion, and the four of you decided to explore it. If so, great job turning this into an exciting tale. And if you did explore an abandoned mansion, I would like to know what secrets you did uncover there.

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
16
16
Review of Equine  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
PLOT -
Marion's love of horses takes her past a pasture for years until one day, the horses disappear.

SETTING -
It's difficult to put a lot of description into a one-hundred-word story

CHARACTERS -
All I know of Marion is that she loves horses and considers the ones she sees daily during her walks her friends.


THOUGHTS -
The beginning was a bit confusing for me. It starts with Marion loving horses, moving to a rural area, forgetting that she loves them, and then meeting them.

I know you don't get a lot of wiggle room in these micro stories, but maybe rearranging the first few sentences would give it more clarity and have it read smoother.

The only other thing that seemed out of place to me was the mention of no blood being around where the horses used to be. Were you thinking about the damage to the fence being so severe that something destructive had happened that had Marion worrying that the horses were hurt? Including something to that effect would drive that point home if this is what you were going for.

I honestly felt bad for Marion, having to move, and then losing the horses that had become part of her daily routine.

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
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17
Review of Contest Entries  Open in new Window.
for entry "June Plans" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

Summary:
You have a lot packed into the month of June, with clear goals established to take you all the way into September. With all of the classes you are taking and plans to visit your aunt, your outlook is positive, as you are happy with your progress thus far. This feels like you are in the home stretch of things, as you plan to take on five of the ten subjects. You are also getting ready for Camp Nano. A fifty thousand-word novel is no small task, but can be done.


Critique:
Wow, Angelica, I had no idea you had taken so much on. You seem to tackle a wide range of subjects with medical billing and coding, though I do not know the other subjects that you are studying. That shows how much drive you have and your capacity to gain as much knowledge as you can. I wish you lots of luck in your endeavors for the rest of this year and into the next. Stay focused. Your drive alone is something I admire and will be the strength that helps you progress on the journey.

Nice job getting the required words in this free verse poem. June is indeed a busy month for you!

This would be my name. }
18
18
Review of Tea Party  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
PLOT -
A child builds a fairy garden and is told by a fairy that it's missing something. The grumpy fairy is after the child's cupcake and convinces him to set it on the table, where the fairy devours it in seconds.

SETTING -
I could picture the house, river, and garden as the child pointed out how they followed the directions to the letter. I thought it funny that the fairy referred to the child as a grumpy human, only to be a totally grumpy fairy.

CHARACTERS -
The trusting child believed in what the fairy had to say as they took jabs at one another. The grumpy fairy couldn't wait to turn the tables on the young one.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
No issues. Good job with the dialogue, as it was easy to tell which character was speaking without dialog tags. Clear the voices of your two characters, and tweak some words that were more difficult for the child to pronounce.

THOUGHTS -
I enjoyed your story. Writing dialog only is never easy, but you seemed to have pulled that off easily. I liked the emphasis on key words that showed their importance to the story and how they related to the characters. Nice little twist there at the end, letting the kid know that their reward will cost them the next one hundred years.

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
19
19
for entry "Invalid Entry" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Summary:
Your opening line pulled me right into this free-form poem about Mist. You have great imagery as you devise differing ways to describe the mist. I keep returning to that first line because I love the idea of mist being a tryst of water vapor. I find that very clever. Dancing over Daisies is another line that speaks volumes, and it really made me smile as I read your poem.


Critique:
You packed a lot into this twelve-line poem. I liked how the water settled onto the grass, sleeping as dew. It reminded me of being outside during the summer as the sun rises and the temperature gets ready to climb from a cool night. You do a really great job with your word choices.

This would be my name.
20
20
for entry "My emotional map" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Style
The author has a nice, easy-to-follow flow in their writing. The short piece also includes good descriptions, such as stormy weather relating to emotional turmoil, and they back up their subject with reasons why they think an emotional road map would be helpful.

Mechanics
You used the chosen words well and put them in bold so the reader could easily find them without thinking about it.

Personal Response
I liked this interesting take on your chosen map. It's honestly a great idea. I would love to know the emotional roadblocks that lie ahead of me. Carefully averting such disasters would be a phenomenal thing. I like the idea of parallel lines that would indicate a better choice in the road up ahead, and to avoid certain areas that look like they would be rather bumpy and take an emotional toll.
21
21
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)

SETTING -
I loved how you detailed what you hoped wouldn't be a rebound relationship. The nervousness, you being clumsy, wondering where it would all lead, and if there was even a chance at a second date. And the fact that you said this in a letter to Jeanette made it such a heartwarming read. I really like your equating apprehension and anxiety to twin emotions. That was very telling.

CHARACTERS -
Jace, you, being up before dawn, your mind consumed with thoughts of Jeanette. That was easy to envision as you carried on, going about your day and anticipating the impending date. I could picture you sitting in your car and watching her from the rearview mirror, taking in that moment as she arrived. Again, when you describe your mouth engaging before your brain, How many times have we all been there?


THOUGHTS -
Great job retelling this remarkable time of your life, starting over and being almost like a teenager filled with fear and anticipation of this first date. You covered a range of emotions throughout and made it a quick read as I rushed to see how it would all play out, even knowing that you two were together. This was a really enjoyable read that gave much insight into you, Jace. Great job and thanks for sharing this one.

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone
22
22
for entry "Missing 411 " Open in new Window.
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Information:
When it comes to missing people, the strange occurrences that follow their discovery are truly intriguing. Take, for instance, the case of the boy in North Carolina. His story is a remarkable account of the unexpected. It's a reminder that in this world, stranger things can happen. Children, in their innocence and trust, often find themselves in the midst of these mysteries. One can't help but wonder, do animals sense this trust, mingled with fear, and react?

The other stories raise a lot of questions. Finding the shoe, feet below, not a mark or stain on it. I'd think that even if there were storms during that timeline, there would be something left behind.


Overall Impression:
I liked that you included a link to YouTube, where these stories are being told. If someone wants to dig deeper and become more invested, they know exactly where to go. You included a lot of information about the disappearances, the strange-shaped items belonging to them magically reappeared, and the actual searches that began after they were reported missing. It truly is a mystery. Your blog entry had an appropriate title as well, as the reader knew exaclty what your post was all about.



The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
23
23
for entry "In Truth...A Sonnet" Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Thank you for entering "Write from the Heart Poetry Contest"  Open in new Window. by Purple Holiday Princess Author Icon

Following the Prompt: *Checkg*
Line Count: *Checkv*

Rhyme/Rhythm/Flow:
Good job with the rhyme scheme. The sonnet flowed well too.

Emotions/Imagery:
This is where you really shine in your writing. From the very first line, I was hooked.
But my favorite line:
No better words will capture what I feel.--this spoke to me in so many ways.

From beauty's hollow, running amok in fields and falling through pockets free, everything worked in tandem and painted a picture in the mind's eye.

Impressions:
You really captured the subject of love well and how words sometimes cannot measure up to the depth of what one truly feels--try as we might.

This would be my name.

24
24
Review of Remembering You  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for entering "Write from the Heart Poetry Contest"  Open in new Window. by Purple Holiday Princess Author Icon

Following the Prompt: *Checkg*
Line Count: *Checkv*

Rhyme/Rhythm/Flow:
Your sonnet had a good flow throughout.

Emotions/Imagery:
This poem was packed with emotions following the death of a loved one. It was easy to feel the love you have for your grandson, as well as the profound loss. My favorite line would have to be the last one, as there is such warmth in sensing someone in an ordinary occurrence, such as the moonlight. You spoke of his laughter and smile, which have lived on in your heart and memory.

Impressions:
I'm truly sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt piece. I hope you find comfort in writing for him.

This would be my name.

25
25
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Rhythm/Rhyme:
This is more of a free-form poem. I detected a certain rhythm in the sentences or created one. It moved well.

Summary:
I liked your take on life itself. Understanding that life gets messy is probably smart, in my opinion. So many things can and do wrong throughout one's life. Knowing that and being able to go with the flow or figure a way out of those chaotic moments is the key.


Critique:
Good imagery. I especially liked the idea of finding that single thread to pull on. It's like a puzzle. Once you start and put the missing piece in place, you will find what you're looking for, and things will get straightened out. You had really good word choices in this eight-line poem. Messy and jumbled were great descriptors of life. You also end the poem with some hope, as there is a clearing in the haze of distress. Nicely done!

This would be my name. }
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