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Review of Promises  
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

PLOT -
Shawn and Katie find each other in college and are inseparable. Shawn knows right away that Katie is his perfect match, but doesn't crowd or rush her. They marry, have children, grandchild and then the love of her life is taken from her.

SETTING -
You set a perfect picture of Shawn proposing after their dinner, during a walk under the stars. It was easy to see all of this as it played out from her memories.

CHARACTERS -
Shawn, the now departed husband who was Katie's everything for forty-five years. Katie who is still here, remembering their history with fondness, waiting for her time to be with him again in the hereafter.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
No errors. The brief dialog of Shawn's proposal was sweet.

THOUGHTS -
What a touching story of a wonderful love between this couple. It's never easy when your life partner passes away, but all of the memories of this pair were beautiful. His recent loss lingers for her, and she cannot bring herself to put his things away. They shared life, and love, children and grandchildren. I loved that Katie realized they were never poor because having that kind of love/relationship is priceless. Nicely done. Write on!
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

This would be my name.
177
177
Review of Brokenhearted  
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

PLOT -
Shayna is learning how to manage being a single mother after the loss of her husband, Ben. Instead of losing herself in the grief and letting it take over, she finds the bright spot to life and enjoys every moment she can with their son.

SETTING -
Good descriptions as she thinks about her husband, and watches their little boy.

CHARACTERS -
Shayna who struggles, yet finds the positives in life and learns to go on living, keeping her husband's memory close to her heart.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
Shayna’s mommy eyes shone upon the greatest treasure she had ever known.--In this first line I read it as if you were taking about the little boy's grandmother. But you were talking about Shayna so that would mean 'mommy' needs to be edited out.

THOUGHTS -
This was a very moving and emotional piece. It is never easy to lose someone you love, especially someone so young. It was nice to see how someone copes with it all, and focuses on the gifts life still has to offer. The reference to their son being the mini replica of his father, and Shayna getting to enjoy watching him grow up to be a wonderful man like Ben, was bittersweet. Great job hitting the emotional aspects of a tremendous loss, but not letting define who she was. I hope the people you wrote about are doing well, as they deserve to be happy. Happy Account Anniversary. Write On!
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

This would be my name.
178
178
Review of Sanctuary  
for entry "Prologue" 
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

PLOT -
Interesting prologue about high school, and how the cliques divide and conquer, being a cruel as possible, not even showing their teachers respect. Your main character tells the story of the popular crowd and how she doesn't fit in, observing all of the nasty behavior of her peers.

SETTING -
Good descriptions of the gym as they do yoga and Jade and Sienna bash other students, even the gym teacher before Sienna gets yanked out by her ear. The last few paragraphs as well added a lot of visual elements as your main character is down on the ground, yet out of her body looking on. The sexual imagery worked well to show how girls were being perceived.

CHARACTERS -
Your main character is an outsider, made fun for how she dresses.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
No errors. The dialog is really telling of the way teens speak to one another now. It's like there is no filter whatsoever.

THOUGHTS -
I wish your main character had a name. That is the only thing that bothered be about this prologue. A lot went on for your character, and the ending was a surprise, which is a great hook to get your reader into the first chapter. Solid beginning for a novel. Think about adding her main characters name so the reader can connect to it and know who they are identifying with. Write on!
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

This would be my name.
179
179
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

PLOT -
A father and son work to get an old saw up and running.

SETTING -
Ahhh, Doc, you had me laughing at the scene you painted of you and your father. I loved the visuals of the looks you give one another that have such meaning behind them. I felt so bad for your dad as he got knocked on his butt a few times trying to get that motor started.

CHARACTERS -
You and your father have a wonderful relationship from what I've read here. Your dad has that uncanny ability to never give up when he wants something done. You try your best to help, even knowing that it's going to turn out bad.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
I said, Llooking at dad’s old saw bench in the behind the house.---missing something here

It hasn’t run in months,”--missing front quote, change comma to period

He followed us as far as the saw bench before abandoning us for the shade of theback fence.

He finished unwrapping the vicious machine like a six year old at Christmas, finally exposing exposing the vivid blue Briggs and Stratton engine.

Dialog was great! Very comical.

THOUGHTS -
Loved this piece. I see there are more stories like it and I can't wait to read a few more. Wonderful job retelling this tale, and how it all played out. Write on!
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

This would be my name.
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180
Review of Dinosaur Lust  
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

PLOT -
A refreshing take on menopause, and not your ordinary look into it. This goes much further than the common symptoms and complaints we usually read about. This takes it a bit further, moving past hot flashes, emotional outbursts, etc, and in such an honest and awesome way.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
No errors to point out. It was a quick read with a lot of truth dashed in.

THOUGHTS -
Finally! Someone tackles the one thing most don't talk about when it comes to menopause. I'm in surgical menopause now, having had a hysterectomy in January. All I've heard about are the negatives, and the only thing mentioned when it comes to our sexual appetite is that it's nonexistent. I often wondered if it were true or if it were just me that didn't lose this. So glad I came into your portfolio today and discovered that being full of lust and horny is a common thing. So many changes take place when our bodies go through this process it's easy to focus on the negatives of it, instead of really looking at the most amazing changes that are happening, changes that we have no control over really, and lust is at the top of the list. Thanks for sharing this honest feedback, and giving insight into a scary process. More people need to be honest about this gift, and yes I say gift because this aspect of the change is really something unique and incredible! Write on!
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

This would be my name.
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181
Review of Second Chances  
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

PLOT -
Darren likes Melanie, but follows peer pressure and winds up hurting her just as the others are doing. He feels terrible about it and looks for a way to tell her how he feels, apologize and make it up to her.

SETTING -
Nice setting at the end when he sings to her and the crowd gathers around, including his ex-girlfriend.

CHARACTERS -
The story revolves around Darren as he makes a bad choice and does something big to regain the attentions of Melanie. He is desperate to apologize and make things right between them. Nice added element of humor between the pair.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
Dialog flowed well and was natural.

THOUGHTS -
I liked that Darren had watched how his father made amends to his mother, and took that a step further. Writing a song filled with emotions to tell the girl he likes how he feels is a big deal. Doing it in public is a big deal as well. It worked for, and he got his happy ending. Nice job adding the ex in there for added effect. It's a typical scenario as ex's go, seeing something they missed the first time around that rekindles buried feelings. Melanie has a sense of humor and good heart as she gives Darren his second chance. Write on!
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182
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

PLOT -
Richter is good with his hands, and lovingly makes something for his young son. He is happy and content with his life, especially his beautiful wife. Until the war came. With it brought something else entirely. His family gone, him walking around with a new friend, Ulfric, and learning the truth of his new existence.

SETTING -
Nice job setting the scene of the love he had for his family, and the devastation of war that ravaged the land. I felt so bad for him, and wondered why he was spared as well.

CHARACTERS -
Richter is devastated over the loss of his family, and tries to come to terms with their violent death. Ulfric is there to try and help him long, having saved him. It is a journey of discovery for both.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
Dialog was good, the conversations had good flow and intensity.

THOUGHTS -
A sad tale of the ravages of war, and what becomes of those left behind, with a twist of course. It was easy to identify with Richter as he struggled with the heartbreaking loss of his wife and son, and anger set in. Then the knowledge of learning he's now a vampire. Ulfric tries to tell him his own story, of the things he's learned, but revenge is all Richter can see. Nice read. Interesting story with a lot to take in, and can be turned into a novel. Write on!
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183
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

PLOT -
I loved this story and the significance of your fathers hard work throughout his life that shows his love for you. What a wonderful thing to realize and be able to share with generations to come.

SETTING -
Great descriptions of how he worked, the smells that comfort you and yet can be offensive to others. Very vivid details of the woodwork, where they are now, what they've been through and how they take up from one child to the next, all hand made by your father.

CHARACTERS -
I am assuming you are writing about yourself and your dad. It's a great little piece that packs so much love and passion. He was passionate about his work and expressed that in everything he created.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
Though it is pungent and unpleasant to some, it makes me feel warm and content<--missing period


THOUGHTS -
So many times the labor of love is missed, only to be realized when it's too late. I didn't find that here. You captured glimpses of your father's love well, and appreciated the things he did through his creativity, and then through yours in this short story. Very heartwarming. Fantastic job. Write on!
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Review of Curt Butt  
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

PLOT -
Curt does not like gays and sets out to ruin a childhood acquaintance's life who he feels doesn't deserve his wealthy upbringing either. He sets out on a course of destruction, excited as his plan is put into motion, just waiting to watch the fallout and gain some satisfaction.

SETTING -


CHARACTERS -
Really good insight into your characters evil mind as he steps up his plan and puts it into motion. He always has that weird quirk of losing his hair.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
besides working as a computer-controlled tool operator, that it/is?

Instead [comma] he turned his hatred into snide comments and working behind the scenes.

Leave him down and dirty, crawling in the dirt. Poor as a third world country.--these two should be combined into one sentence.

You have a lot of repeating words in the same paragraph that really stand out and take away from the intensity of the story--Decides/decided/deciding.

THOUGHTS -
Nice twist at the end when Curt's meddling backfires and helps Harvey instead. Good use of karma in this aspect. You painted a clear picture of the kind of person Curt is, and how he carried out his plan, even using children to deliver the letters.
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185
Review of 10 Days of Spring  
for entry "Spirits" 
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

PLOT -
A young priestess sits alone, waiting, watching as the magic of the crystals begins to move in streams that radiate light throughout the temple courtyard.

SETTING -
Really great vivid imagery in this from the beginning to the end. I could easily picture the rays of light beaming in different colors and playing off one another, off the walls.

CHARACTERS -
Your young priestess, the anticipation of seeing the magic of the crystals keeps her still in the back while she watches with wonder.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
I found no errors. However, you used the word 'within' three times in the first paragraph alone which really stood out. Think about changing at least one of them to break it up so it isn't so noticeable.

THOUGHTS -
I liked the backstory about the Immortal Anastri. It filled in questions as to why the young priestess sat so still waiting for the crystals to reflect their perfect light in the temple. They say moonlight has a cleansing effect, as it played off the crystals that is what I felt you were going for. Good visuals of the light and the priestess. I wish there was more to this scene because you painted the picture so well. Good job capturing the scene and making it really stand out. Write on!
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186
Review of Mexican Standoff  
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

PLOT -
Paca and Alejandro are chained across from one another, their plight still unknown. Each has feelings for the other and now here they are, bound.

SETTING -
You did great painting the scene of them both bound and separate, not being able to reach one another. The outside crowd made so much noise it was impossible for Alejandro to talk to her, calm her, make things better for the woman he loves.

CHARACTERS -
Paca, a strong willed woman has set her sights on Alejandro from the moment she saw him. Alejandro fights to win Paca's heart, and now here they are bound, crowds gathering, farming tools strewn about.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
No errors. Good inner dialog as they both thought about their past and what was going on around them in this moment.

THOUGHTS -
What a twist. I mean I knew there would be one, but it never occurred to me that it would turn out to be what it was. Great job with this short story, setting the scene, glimpses of your main characters, things happening around them and then BAM! I was laughing so hard, thinking about marriage and all that it entails and I'd have to say, that yes it can be like this taking that enormous step. Great job. Write on!
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187
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

Rhythm/Rhyme:
A free verse poem. It has a nice pace to it, flowed well from one sentence to the next. There were good elements of imagery that hooked me in as I read through.

Summary:
A poem about love and a special relationship. The title was felt through the poem, the last line hooking back to it well. There is hope in it, a glimpse into the crazy world we live in and its perceptions.

Critique:
It made me wonder if the person the poem is about has passed away. The line about "looking upon you fondly" brought that to mind. Embers of my passion conjured really good imagery. It is a sweet poem, looking to the good in relationships and love, what they bring to each of us, and the happiness that comes from it. The world can be a dark depressing place, which you hit upon. Yet love can come in and wipe all of that away. I agree that love can be a miracle. The last few lines gave hope as they traversed into the unknown together. One never knows what may come, but having someone to share it all with, to lean on in the hard times is always a good thing.

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
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188
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

PLOT -
Rebecca reads a letter to her father asking for help. Her father thinks he's too old to be rushing off to rescue the Plumprockets, and decides to let his daughter go in his place to rescue them from their attic.

SETTING -
I could picture Rebecca's dad tinkering with machines as she read the letter to him.

CHARACTERS -
Rebecca's father who makes his own inventions and is getting older. Rebecca who helps him and is ready to step in and assist.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
The dialog was fine, no issues with spelling or grammar.

THOUGHTS -
I felt like I caught a better glimpse of her father than I did of Rebecca. I'm assuming Rebecca is going to be the main character. You touch on her emotions, but don't follow through with them which makes it hard to identify with her, and get caught up in her. For instance you wrote: Rebecca read on and became more concerned.--show the reader her concern, or her thoughts as she reads the letter. When she suggests going in her father's place, is she excited by the prospect? Is there any element of fear? It's an interesting story, just missing that last little bit that pulls it altogether. Bring Rebecca more into focus to really get a good grasp of her. It's a solid beginning of a story. Write on!
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189
Review of Nobody's Son  
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

Rhythm/Rhyme:
Great rhythm and rhyme throughout this heartbreaking poem. I'm impressed that you were able to keep the flow and rhyme going for such a long piece, but it never stumbled, just continued on from one line to the next easily.

Summary:
We never ask to be born, but yet we are and one never knows what kind of life that will be for us. This was sad, a boy feeling unwanted, watching, waiting for semblance of normalcy to take shape and help him grow to become a good man. The guided hand never comes, being shuffled from one place to the next, still searching.


Critique:
I could identify with a lot of what you said, which made reading this a little painful. It's a brutally honest piece that gives a clear insight into such a sad childhood. Children of divorce, abandoned, tragic circumstances, etc all lead us to grow up and figure things out as we go through life on our own. Not the way it should be. I liked that he decided to chose a different path for his own children, that he vowed that they wouldn't suffer the way he had. Bravo for getting down to the grit of this all too common tale. Write on!

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
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Review of Song for Cory  
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Rhythm/Rhyme:
The first three stanza had good rhythm and rhyme. The last one is missing that same flow the others had. It is hard sometimes to find the right words. I think what throws it off is the very last line.

Summary:
A lonely cowboy who only has sheep for companions. He lights candles and watches the stars at night, praying they watch over him as he sleeps. He wants someone to care, but only the animals are near him.


Critique:
It's a sad poem about loneliness. It would be difficult to be far away from towns and other people, having only your own thoughts and sheep to keep you company. It's not surprising he feels he's going crazy. Spending all that time alone does things to your mind. You had good imagery of that as he looked up to the stars, the presence of the coyote's and the sheep who gather around and watch him. The poem leaves questions though. Why is he out there all alone? I also wondered how old he was and what his background could be that has him so cut off from people and towns. I see having questions and wondering about the lonely cowboy as a good thing because it makes the poem really stick with your audience. Good job. Write on!

Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
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191
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Rhythm/Rhyme:
The rhythm of this one was clear from one stanza to the next. It's not meant to rhyme, but there is a clear pattern here.

Summary:
A woman who sits waiting, unable to let go as each day passes. Very sad scene as she sits by the window, her tears and the rain mimicking one another as she is trapped in her memories.

Critique:
Another haunting poem. You have a really good grasp of getting the imagery across in your poetry. Every word compliments the next, painting the scene for the reader to see clearly. Grief can be such a paralyzing thing, keeping us stuck in certain moments, seeing no light waiting at the end of the tunnel. I keep reading the second stanza because it was the most powerful one for me. The moonlight unable to bring the comfort she seeks, the physical pain that fades so slowly, but remains regardless. Great job with this one as well. It's dark, yet moving and easy to identify with the woman in the poem. This one will stay with me because the visual imagery was so precise that I can picture her sitting beside the window, looking out and watching the raindrops. Thanks for sharing this one. Write on!

Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
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Review of Couldn't Leave  
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

Rhythm/Rhyme:
It flowed well from one stanza to the next.

Summary:
This poem is about a woman who stays in a marriage with an abusive husband. She sees no other way out, though thoughts of running away do cross her mind.

Critique:
This is a very vivid poem about abuse and really grabs the readers attention from the first stanza. There is no rhyme or reason to the husbands abuse, not that any reason is a good enough one, but when there is literally no excuse the understanding of it all becomes impossible. The first stanza is haunting. He loves her deeply, but cannot control his rage and takes it out on the one person he should not. It is difficult to read the helplessness in the woman who sees nowhere to go, nowhere to turn, and clings to hope that things will finally change, though they do not. A senseless act that caused emotion and physical scars until the day she took her last breath at his hands. It's an all too familiar tale in this day and age, unfortunately. Great job with this poem. It made me feel sad and cringe as I read through it. Love being used as a weapon is the most brutal of all. Write on!
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
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Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

PLOT -
Alyssa is woken up in the middle of the night by her brother and mother, bring her devastating news. She learns that her father has died, and instead of being able to grieve, she is thrust into being the rock for her family, getting everyone through the ordeal.

SETTING -
Good visuals of the mother and brother riddled with grief, crying. The overuse of the Kleenex was a nice added touch. The scene in the hospital while she views her father's body was sad, but the comparison of what she's used to seeing and then seeing in her father brought that imagery home.

CHARACTERS -
Alyssa is a nurse, is used to comforting others through terrible things, and seeing death. She has learned to build a wall there and keep herself grounded, but now that death is in her family, she knows what she should be going through, yet can't bring herself to let it all sink in.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
On we went to face the reality of my father's premature death. --not sure what you wanted to start this sentence with.

THOUGHTS -
I know what it's like to be the one everyone depends on for emotional support. It makes it difficult to go through the motions yourself as you steel your emotions from the pain. Letting all of it in later just seems to compound all of it. Good story of loss and grieve. I felt really bad for Alyssa, but totally understood her, why she stepped up, and hating that she feels she lost herself along the way.
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Review of A Miami Playboy  
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

PLOT -
Interesting perspective on the whole dating scene, from a male point of view. I liked how you spoke directly to the reader, giving insight and answers to question I'm assuming you've been asked plenty of times.

SETTING -
You had good descriptions of certain dates, and women that you've encountered along the way. Each one held a special charm for you. Each had their appeal, and that appeal spoke to you. It's not just about you hunting them, looking for a foreign woman. I think there is much more behind this.

CHARACTERS -
Your take on being single strays from the normal of what society deems acceptable. You walk to the beat of your own drummer, never a bad thing. Dating, and learning as you go is never a bad thing. Every experience gives you a greater perspective and leads you on your path.

THOUGHTS -
As a woman I was not offended by anything you had to say. Surprised? I think society had drilled it into our heads how things are supposed to go, and when they don't measure up, they make us think like we did wrong. What's worse? Divorce? Being with someone for all the wrong reasons? You were very clear in how you saw yourself, what you wanted, needed, and did not need. So many 20 somethings have no idea of where they are going and what they want. You have that, and if you choose to settle down one day, you will have a lot of life lessons to help you cope with whatever comes your way.
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Review of Gauntlet Day 2  
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

PLOT -
Caitlin's parents are rich beyond belief, and what should make life easier for them, has the opposite effect. Instead of being able to enjoy their comfortable lifestyle, it's cause for constant fighting, that leaves their daughter running for an escape.

SETTING -
You had some good moments with Caitlin on the pier as she laid there. You gave enough insight into her parents fighting to catch of glimpse of what they are all about.

CHARACTERS -
Caitlin is confused, not able to make sense of her parents. The fighting sends her to the sanctuary of the water, just to try and escape their fighting. Her parents are consumed by wealth and status, even going so far as to burn her ordinary looking clothes, as if what she wears makes a negative statement about them.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
No errors here. Dialog worked well for this piece.

THOUGHTS -
There is one point where Caitlin is on the pier and meditating, and there is mention of a light near her. I'm not sure where you were going with this, and when it wasn't mentioned again, it made it difficult for me to understand what point you were trying to get across. I definitely felt bad for Caitlin. Having money doesn't necessarily bring about happiness. I know people like this, who make sure they name drop designer this and that. It's a sad way to live really, because they miss out on so many other things in this world. Write on!
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Review of I Let Him Down  
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

PLOT -
His partner is still alive, but he didn't make it. Grief is strong, as is his feelings of failure for letting him down. Being here, while his best friend is laid to rest is a very hard pill to swallow, and he finds he cannot leave until he's completely laid to rest.

SETTING -
The funeral is very moving, and sad. The guilt at being the one left behind is powerful shown well. It was easy to picture the burial, with the guns going off, and him staying close to his best friends wife, watching everything, taking it all in, yet still consumed by sorry and guilt.

CHARACTERS -
A soldiers best friend is just as brokenhearted as his family and cannot seem to cope with all of it.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
Inner dialog from this perspective was very touching. I found no spelling or grammatical errors.

THOUGHTS -
It's not often we get the perspective of our loyal pets. How often do we wonder what they are thinking and feeling? Yet somehow we manage to convey these feelings to one another. I loved the picture you included at the end to show just how his dog stayed near, refusing to leave his partner for even a second. Nicely done. Write on!
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Review of The Kiss  
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

PLOT -
Amy stays by her husband's bedside, living at the hospital while cancer ravages his body and he grows weak. No one can get her to leave his side. She thinks this is it, that he will be leaving her soon. Just when the room is empty accept for the two of them, Ron starts to speak, making one last request that Amy cannot deny, for she wants this moment as much as he does.

SETTING -
Great descriptions of Ron how he was in their younger years, and how he is now. The hospital room with the beeping machines was easy to picture as well. I loved how she saw him as more beautiful than any magazine model.

CHARACTERS -
Ron is ready to let go, but wants Amy with him, to share this one last moment with the love of his life. Amy cannot deny his request, even knowing that once the machines are turned off he most likely won't make it through the night.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
I can't stand the thoughts of losing more time with you.

The dialog was very real, so touching and bittersweet.

THOUGHTS -
What a moving story of a couple who choose one another even in death, not wanting to be parted and lose anymore time. Your story and characters were very real and moving. So glad I read this one. Thanks for sharing something so heartfelt and emotional. You had me in tears at the end. Beautiful. Write on!

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Review of The Gift  
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

PLOT -
Two people escape demon hounds, running as fast and as far as they can trying to keep her gift, and the crystal from her mother safe. It is dire that she keep it with her and not let anyone take it from her, not even her rescuer at this time.

SETTING -
Really good job of showing what it was like running through the jungle, with the branches hitting her face. The cool water on her feet was a nice touch as they hurt and ached from their travels. Really easy to picture everything around them as they made their way to safety.

CHARACTERS -
There is a little confusion here. First you start with Angelo helping her, and then Donuskae is catching fish. Did you make a name change and forget to go back and correct it? Is there a third person in the story? I did like the girl, wish she had a name, but it was all in her point of view so I could follow along well enough.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
Even with their unnatural senses the demon hounds couldn’t find us without Necromancer's help

THOUGHTS -
Really vivid and quick read as they made they escape. It hooked me right from the beginning and kept me eager to reach the end to see what happened to the pair. The crystal is a good element to have as it has a shroud of mystery surrounding it, as well as her gift. What will that turn out to be? Good imagery with the face in the ball telling her to not trust Angelo just yet. Interesting story. You used the prompt well. Write on!
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Review of Cinder Klause  
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

PLOT -
Cinder and his friends approach a place where he believes he was born. An old man answers the door, tries to send them away, but Cinder is insistent. The man tells him to come back tomorrow at noon, and not to be late. They leave and head back to get a room for the night. Hail the size of baseballs begins to rain down on them as they run toward the train, desperate to get away.

SETTING -
Good visuals of the man at the door. It was easy to picture him. The hail scene was described well too.

CHARACTERS -
Cinder and his friends are orphans. They band together and look out for each other.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
The door swung open with force, drawing a chilly gust of wind off the street, through the four kids piled on the stoop and into the surly face at the door.--not sure where this was going

Sherelle --earlier in the story you have Serelle--mocked her saying they were illegitimate offspring of fictional characters and famous dead people.

The conversations with all of the added nicknames were a little confusing and hard to keep up with.

THOUGHTS -
This story left me with a lot of questions. What was the hail storm all about? Did it have anything to do with the house and the creepy guy that opened the door to them? What would be happening tomorrow when they ventured back? It is an interesting beginning.
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Review of Heart in a Cage  
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

Rhythm/Rhyme:
Some stanzas had good rhyme and flow from one to the next. The others had longer sentences and pulled away from the flow as you worked to convey feelings of love and longing.

Summary:
Time moves every so slowing as she waits, longing for the one she loves to remember her, to return, almost begging the clock to move swiftly and willing him back to her.

Critique:
I love romantic pieces and you had some really good stanzas filled with emotion about love and longing. I understood what you were trying to convey. When it came to the clock and how time was being cruel as she waiting, willing the hands to move faster, it got a little lost. There is a point where if felt like she loved the hands of time, that she loved the clock. But the next stanza returns to the longing and wondering if he has finally recognized that they belong together. The reference to her heart being in a cage was used well, brought images of someone being stuck, not knowing how to move forward, as if their entire being was locked in that cage waiting for love to come claim her. Write on!

Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation
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