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804 Public Reviews Given
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Public Reviews
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Review of Monsoon Downpour  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Monsoon Downpour." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

"Monsoon Downpour," has some wonderful imagery. The poem, I thought, had a very nice flow to it and you have made some good word choices as well. I found a typo that you may want to correct. [chilli] should be chilly. I enjoyed the read, Nice job!
Thanks for sharing your poem with us and keep writing.
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Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"The Monster Inside Of Me." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

This is a very emotional piece. You have chosen your words very well to bring about the emotions that are felt. Your rhythm and flow are good and I found your rhyme scheme suitable for this particular piece.

I hope that you are not the subject of this poem. Never-the-less, whom ever is, should know that God is listening to their prayers. He is supreme and has infinite knowledge of past, present, and future. There are no time restraints with Him.

His timing is not always always our time; His timing is perfect. His understanding of why things are the way they are, sometimes is not understood by us either. We must go by faith, and that sometimes is hard, or may seem impossible, to do. Never the less, we must keep pressing on and take it one day at a time.

Thanks for sharing your poem with us and keep writing.
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Review of I've read  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"I've Read." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.


“I’ve read,” is basically comparing life’s journey to the different types of reading-anger, woe, horror, living, etc. It is a pretty good comparison, although, I only saw the bad things-the struggles in life. I’m sure that there is also joy, happiness, love, etc. Never-the-less, I think this is a good poem. Well done! Thanks for sharing your poem with us and keep writing.
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Review of Today...Tomorrow  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Today...Tomorrow." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.


“Today...Tomorrow,” is a poem with a good message. It is important that we make the right choices in life because every choice has its consequences. It is often hard, but sometimes possible, to correct a wrong choice. However, making that right choice in the beginning, may save a lot of heartache in the end. You’ve done a fine job conveying your message through this poem.

It seems to me that you have chosen to write an open couplet poem. You have made use of enjambed lines, which I feel was a good choice. What I didn’t like is the fact that each of your couplets doesn’t rhyme, which to my understanding should; in order to stay within the guidelines of the form.

Now you do use a rhyming pattern; ending each couplets last line. However, as I have just stated, I believe that every line in each couplet should rhyme. It may be that your reasoning was to use end rhyme at the end of every enjambed line.

I also didn’t particularly like the non-consistent rhythm throughout the piece. From what I can tell, by my syllable count, is that you have used the count of 8-7 in your first and second couplets. I would have stayed with that. By changing it, especially in the next couplet, by drastically using a 6-9 count, you managed to throw off the rhythm for the rest of the piece. I recommend wording differently to stay within the same syllable count as your first two couplets. You sometimes can get away being off a syllable or two and still have a nice even flow. Play around with this and see what happens.

I spotted a typo in line two. [its] should be it’s.

All in all though, I think the poem is a good one. It is definitely worth the effort of revision because that will make it an even better piece.

Thanks for sharing your work with us and keep writing.
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Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Interview with Anthony." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

I thought that, “Interview with Anthony,” was a good read. I liked the part about having the old 51’ Mercury restored, and I can relate to how much work and expense goes into car restoration. I restored a 55 Chevy once, but had to sell it during some hard times.

“Anthony’s faith in God that got him through the difficult time..” I couldn’t agree more with that statement. Without God, I would have never made it through life, thus far.

I found you story to be a delightful read and I didn’t notice any errors through the piece. Nice job! Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing.
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Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Riped my heart in Two." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.


Riped my heart In Two!!, is a poem about having your heart broken. It is indeed a hard thing to have to live with. Loving someone so much, and having them eventually hurt you, can be devastating. Sometimes the pain lingers on for many years.

You’ve done a fine job expressing these emotions in this piece. Good job! Thanks for sharing your poem with us and keep writing.
In your title I believe you made a typo. I think you meant to write ripped instead of riped.
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Review of Love  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Love." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

You tell just how much in love with this person you are in this lovely poem. You bring out those very feelings to your readers and do it quite well. Nice job!

Thanks for sharing your poem with us and keep writing.
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Review of Today  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Today." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Is a nice poem speaking about the ups and downs in life. Sometimes hard times can be turned around and made good, as we never know that which would have been, if not for the hard time. Sometimes the rough times molds us into a better person, and many times it shows us just how much we need to appreciate the good. Nice job! Thanks for sharing your poem with us and keep writing.
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Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Where Did the Jellyfish go?" Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

I think that this piece makes for a nice children’s story. Your repetitive use of the word Jellyfish seems to work for this purpose, and I think that it serves well. What I didn’t care for, however, is the ending. I thought that it could have ended much differently. The ending here seemed a bit rushed-ending abruptly in my opinion. All in all, a good read. Nice job! Thanks for sharing your work with us and keep writing.
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Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Forever the bearing weight." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.


I think this poem is left open for many different interpretations. It’s up to each individual to decide its meaning for themselves. With that said, I took its meaning as being such: life is often, more often than not, tough. It's a burden with which you carry every day, and it is seemingly endless, with no relief in sight, until the very end. It's a burden one must carry when they chose to walk the narrow path. However, I believe the reward for choosing the right path will surly come at the end of the journey; the burden will be finally gone. Nice job! Thanks for sharing your poem with us and keep writing.
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Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Stomping on Eggshells." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

All in all, you have done a fine job bringing out the emotions of the woman, and also a good job with the description of the accident. Of course, right from the start the reader already knows the outcome of the story; since your opening sentence is,” No one wakes up in the morning expecting to die.”

“My life flashed before my eyes.” Usually, in my view anyway, I always thought that this particular phrase meant having ones past events of life flash before them. Whereas, you told of future events-what could have happened if it were not for the accident. This threw me off a little, but hey…that’s just me. Aside from this and for some other small errors in punctuation, it is a pretty good short piece, and with a little polishing, it can be a much better one. Good job! Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing.
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Review of Thump Thump Beep  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Thump Thump Beep." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

“Thump Thump Beep,” I found to be an interesting, unique, distinctive, and powerful piece. At first, when I opened and viewed this poem, I just glanced at it; not expecting too much to come from it. Then after reading it once, I read it again, each time appreciating it more and more.

In this readers’ opinion; the way you used the dialogue and the patients’ thoughts, incorporating them along with the sounds of the hospital monitor, was awesome. You are a very innovative writer. Well done! This is deserving of *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*

Thanks for sharing your poem with us. I am looking forward to reading more of your work. Keep writing.
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Review of help  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Help." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

“Help,” is a sad free form poem about lost love and despair. The emotions come across quite well in this piece and I found some of the lines quite good. my favorite is,” Lost in the darkness of day.” What I didn’t like, however, is the sixth line ending with the word please. I found it to be a bit awkward by placing it there. I think that it would be much better without it; since you using it to start your next line. Also, I noticed a few misspellings throughout the piece. For instance,[disapeared] should be disappeared.[dispare] should be despair, and you [I’s] need to be capitalized.

All in all though, I think you have done a fine job with this and with a little editing and polishing this poem can be even a much better read. Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing.


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Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Japanese Internment." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

“Japanese Internment,” is a good haiku which expresses quite well the feelings held by many of the Japanese Americans and Japanese in 1942. I thought that this was an enjoyable read. Good job! Thanks for sharing your poem with us and keep writing.
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Review of Twisted Fate  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Twisted fate." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.


“Twisted Fate,” is a pretty good short fiction piece. Your characters, although not named, where developed well.
You have your protagonist being interviewed for a private detective position, although he isn’t experienced in this particular area of expertise. I think that you have done a fine job in setting up your story. You also described, and brought to life, the character of the interviewer.

What I did notice, though, was that the story became a little weak between the interviewers question;”So, tell me why you want this job," and “He leaned back, the chair groaning in protest.” It may be that you are limited in words because of a contest and also the fact that it is a flash fiction piece-I can see this easily happening.

I thought the reasons given for why your character was there for the job, could have been expounded on more, or in a different way.
In my opinion, the way he gave his answer to why he wanted the job was a bit unlikely, because usually someone wouldn’t offer all that personal information (I have no girlfriend etc.) in a job interview. What I think your intention to do was to have your character convince the interviewer, that he had plenty of time to devote to the job.



"Enter," a gruff voice said. [“] is needed

I knew it was [a] stab in the dark, this interview. Or-I knew this interview would be a stab in the dark.


I took the rickety chair offered. I took the rickety chair offered me

He looked unhealthy. Would I? ,[No period needed after question mark] I wondered.



he grumbled over a half-eaten cigar. Suggestion: he grumbled, while chewing on his cigar that had appeared to be half-eaten.


He leaned back, the chair groaning in protest. [Space between here}"This job requires lots of patience. You got patience?" he asked. Capitalize [You]



"Here's your first assignment," tossing a folder at me. My opinion here is to invert this-Tossing the folder at me he said, “Here’s your first assignment.

"We want you to observe, report everything, photo's [photos] are optional."


Aside from all of the things that I mentioned to you; I still think that this is a good story. It needs a little tweaking here and there, and by doing so, you can make it much better.
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Review of Filling The Holes  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Filling The Holes." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

“Filling the holes,” I think, is a poem telling about void in life and the need for it to be filled. People search in many different directions, looking for something to fill that void, but often times, they really don’t find it. There may be satisfaction, but it’s only for awhile because what they found is not the right thing.

As a result of all this, depression and anxiety usually set in and that can be demonstrated in many ways.
Wash in 100 proof,
-rinse-
-repeat-

I’m sure the drug companies love this-they’ll make more money selling antidepressants. At any rate, giving in and dropping into the hole and hitting bottom isn’t the solution.

Drop in that hole,
you know the one.
Listen for it
to hit bottom.



The hole needs to be filled up with the right things-the good things. Afterwards, there will be more peace, satisfaction, and a better person. This is a good premise for a poem.

You title is a very fitting one for this poem. Good job! Thanks for sharing this poem with us and keep writing.
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Review of I Still Believe  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"I Still Believe." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.
In "I Still Believe" your first verse demonstrates how you believe in love. You speak of its affect on you in a positive way. Then, in the next verse, you tell of a broken heart, wounded soul, and your confidence that love can still conquer all.

You then make a different shift in thought with your next few verses. At first, I thought that the poem would go a little differently, but then you turned your attention in a different direction-over to Him (God) and your faith in Him. “I believe patience is my guide to Him,” you wrote. I would change the word patience to faith-faith is my guide to Him. It is here in this verse that a wise thing is said, and confessed; “I believe in God as my rock and my Savior.”

To rely on Him for your life’s decision of being with the right person is not only wise, but its a giant step of faith believing that “He will bring love to me.”

The one thing about this poem that I didn’t like is its format. However, despite that fact, I still think it is a good poem. Nice job! Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing.
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Review of Separation  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Separation."Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.



“So close, but yet so far
We are here together
But we could be miles apart
We see the world in such different ways”


“Separation,” is a lovely free style poem which paints some beautiful imagery. It has a good tone and good depth of feeling. You have chosen your words wisely and arranged them such as to flow like music off of your tongue when spoken. Very nicely done! Thanks for sharing your wonderful poem with us. Keep writing.
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Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Nothing Said nothing heard." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.


“ Nothing Said, Nothing Heard,” is a sad story. Being separated by distance is a hard thing to experience. I thought that the goodbye at the airport was very emotional. This short piece is good, however, I do have some suggestions, and opinions, which you may or may not want to consider.

You can give the first few sentences a more even flow if you lengthen them.

Brandon and Amy were perfect. Everyday after school it was the same, he’d hold her hand, they’d talk, walk to the local park, and then talk some more.

“Brandon was never a fan of public displays of affection, or P.D.A. as they called it, almost shunning the very idea.”

Then in your sentence;” They made each other smile. Always.” Just invert a little by placing always after they. “They always made each other smile.” I think it would sound better.

Always in this sentence isn’t needed. “She always lifted his spirits, regardless of the day, time or place.”


[exsistence,] is misspelled. It should be existence.

His bracelet [was] on her wrist. (Add the word was)

“Their last summer before they left each other.” It was their last… may be a better choice.

“The one he gave her on her 16th birthday” add [it was] the one.

“Kept it since.” [She] kept it since.


“She backed away slowly slightly disconnecting their powerful connection. Her arms slid down his, cupping his hands”


“Then it dropped subtlely, but could still be evident to a gentle lovers heart.”


These are only suggestions and opinions on style and my own taste. You can use what you want and ignore the rest, or all, if you so desire. As I mentioned, I think that your story is a good one. With a little polishing, it can be an even better one. Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing.
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Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Ignorance is your New best friend." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

“Ignorance is Your New Best Friend,” is a good poem bringing out a lot of emotions in a vivid way. Hurt, lies, and deceit are bringing a lot of pain, not only to the one being deceived, but also to the deceiver as well; even if they don’t realize it.

For the deceiver it is never too late. But they must be genuinely sincere in their repentance. Then they can rise above, change, and be a different person-a better person. However, many times it is too late because the ignorance of not knowing the errors of their ways is absent. They need to step out from darkness and into the light which reveals everything.

For the deceived, carrying on and rising above the situation is difficult, but not impossible. It sometimes takes help and support. Also, I think, forgiving plays a big part on the road to recovery, if indeed the deceiver truly asks for it. The relationship may or may not go on, but forgiving will free the soul.

This is a good poem with well chosen words and a lot of good imagery. It makes the reader think. Nice job! Thanks for sharing this with us and keep on writing.
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Review of "Silent blows"  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts abou,"Silent blows." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

I think you have pretty good conception of what addiction is like. I really like the lines;
Slowly but silently
A mysterious force
Flexes it's muscle
The grip tightens


What did disappoint me, however, was that the rhythm seemed to change and the flow of the piece wasn’t as smooth as it should be. Also, there was no constant rhyming pattern. Rhyme was used in some places, but not in others- that seemed to through me off a bit.

I think that you have a good premise for this poem, and I strongly recommend that you continue working on it. The idea is there, it just needs some work on the mechanics, in my opinion. Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing.
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Review of The Bad Old Days  
Review by Boston
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Dolphin Image



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"The Bad Old days." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.


This is the last review completing your package. Your poetry has left an impression on me and it has offered me encouragement to continue on with my own writing. To any readers of this public review, I strongly recommend that you read some of the works by this awesome poet-you’ll enjoy it.

“The Bad Old Days;” Once again, you not only managed to tell a story with your poem, but also educated the reader as well. Your poetry is very impressive. Right from the very first verse, this reader couldn't help but be captivated.

Your well chosen words brought forth vivid imagery and strong emotions; and with great skill I might add. “She thinks, It’s really not fair when it is a small child that Death takes.” I can certainly relate to those lines personally.

All in all, I must say your poetry is certainly not shallow by any means, but rather intensely meaningful, but yet, simply stated and non-pretentious, so that all can benefit from its words. Awesome job! Thanks for sharing your work with us. Keep writing.
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Review of Ancient Enemies  
Review by Boston
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Dolphin Image



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Ancient Enemies." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

This is a nice acrostic poem and it was an enjoyable read for me. Since I am an animal lover-especially cats of any type (large jungle or house cats) I found this piece to be quite interesting. I also thought that it was a unique concept for an acrostic. It is certainly is different from many of the others that I have read lately. I didn’t find any errors throughout this piece. My favorite line in this poem is; “How the modern dog does hate the cat!” It sort of reminded me of the movie, “Cats $ Dogs.” Great job! Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing.
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Review of Remember Me  
Review by Boston
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Dolphin Image




Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"remember Me." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

This is the first of three reviews to complete your winning package. I must say that I was very impressed by this read. “Remember Me,” is a rather sad and tragic poem which is brilliantly written. I love poems that tell a story. In fact, I have written some of these types of poems myself, but, after reading yours, I realize that I am but a mere scribbler at best, and quite frankly, not in any position to critique your work on any of its technical aspects. However, I will say that in this piece I think your rhyme is great, as is the rhythm and flow throughout.

What should be of utmost importance to you, as far as feedback is concerned, is the way that poem affects the reader. It surely has impressed this reader. This is a great poem telling a great story. This piece is well deserving of *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* Thanks for sharing and keep writing.
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Review of All in  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"All in." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

I think you have a good story going on here. We often forget about and take for granted the ones we love. People tend to get themselves all wrapped up in doing other things, often unknowingly, and they will ignore what is most important. Many times obsession plays a big part in all of this; especially if the person has OCD.

Never-the-less, in your story, Nancy was wrong and she finally realized this after James, with all his anger and frustration, pointed this out to her by pulling the plug on the computer. The story ends with James walking out the door and Nancy feeling, as you put it, “…like a poker player with empty pockets who had called “all in…” I’m not so sure that it would have ended quite that way. To me this would only be the beginning of a longer story. Both in writing and in life, the story wouldn’t end there.

For the most part this is a pretty good story, however, it needs a few changes and corrections, to make it present itself much better.
For one I would re-consider where you break your paragraphs. Also, leaving more of a space between them will make for an easier read.

Your sentence; "He had reached his limit one evening, and decided to give Nancy a taste of how angry and fed up with he had become with her bull crap,” needs to be re-worded for clarity. “He had reached his limit one evening, and decided to give Nancy a taste of just how fed up he had become with all her bull crap,” is probably what you meant to write.

Also the sentence; “That’s when she noticed James she tried to shoo him away with “give me a minute” and he left, or so she thought.” Maybe, write: That’s when she noticed James. She shooed him away with “give me a minute,” then he left; or so she thought.

Lastly, I feel that the capitals are not needed in your “What did you do that for” sentence. Also, I would remove the expletive from this story because I don’t think that it is the type of piece where it works well within the context of the story. That is just my own opinion though, you ultimately must decide.

All in all, this is a pretty good story. I think with a little editing and polishing up, that it can become an even better one. Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing.
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