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Review of The frog prince  Open in new Window.
Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: This has a lot of potential. The characters are intriguing, the dialogue feels overall natural, and I'm curious to see where it's going. I enjoyed the chemistry between the characters.

Why I could relate to your work: We just watched Disney's Frog Princess last week so this may have intrigued me based on that alone.

My suggestions: I would not recommend putting an unfinished first draft out to the public. Receiving reviews on unfinished work could discourage you from finishing it and all stories deserve to be told. Hope you didn't abandon this one.

Any noticeable typos: Since it is an unfinished draft, there were items that stood out and distracted from the story but these are things that anything like grammerly, ms word, autocrit, prowritingaid, even reading out loud, would help you find and fix.

My favorite line(s): I don't really have a favorite line as it's clear this story has more to give but I liked the buildup of chemistry.

In conclusion: I hope this gets some more attention and you keep growing it. Every story deserves its ending. Plus you've got a great beginning, run with it. Write on!


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Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Welcome to WDC!!!

What I love about your work: I think many people and places in the world can appreciate what you were capturing here. There is something to be said for rain after a dry spell. Plus I also like how you bring up the marbled dust and the smell of rain. I think these might be experiences that someone from a more moist place might not quite understand.

Why I could relate to your work: I'm from the southwest in the US and we very much understand rain after a drought. Granted, we get confused over this weird wet stuff coming down from the skies, but there is a ton of celebration when there's rain.

My suggestions: I don't really have any to offer though maybe explore more what the scent of rain is. You're very detailed about the reaction and the sounds, but the smell of rain isn't just "rain", it's wet dirt, a cleanness, depending on the type of storm, ozone but "wth smell of rain" is generic and doesn't really bring that to mind unless you know exactly the scent you're speaking of.

Any noticeable typos: I didn't see anything that jumped out at me.

My favorite line(s): "too tempting that, to fickle gods;
false hope too bitter to endure."
I like this because it is a mentality we have as well. When the clouds are rolling in, there's almost fear to ask if there's supposed to be rain because if you mention it too loud, the sun might burn it off. Though, one of our superstitious ways of trying to encourage it is to go wash our vehicles. It's very tempting to the gods to through dirt and water at a freshly washed vehicle here.

In conclusion: I enjoyed this and it definitely appealed to me because of where we live. A lot I understood and have felt on a personal level. Nicely done. Write on!


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Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!


What I love about your work: You have clearly done some research to provide information to those who need it. That research is vital to giving either "side" the leg up that they need to discuss this with the other side. It's obvious from this article that a lot of thought and effort has gone into putting it together.

Why I could relate to your work: Politics is something that touches us all and when they retracted the free lunches and breakfasts, there were so many kids impacted by this in the schools. We saw the impact on the local kids.

My suggestions: I cannot edit my own work to save my life so I use programs like grammerly, autocrit, prowritingaid, and a recent trick for the clunky sentences, recording me reading out loud so I can hear what works and doesn't work. But this is a life saver when it it comes to the editing. If there are multiple errors and clunky sentences, doesn't matter what the intent is behind the work, your point gets lost behind the distractions of typos. I would suggest running your work through those programs to help polish it so your voice is what shines through.

Any noticeable typos: Yes, but the above would help clear that up.

In conclusion: I think you've got a piece that really shows the effort and passion you have put into this particular topic and that with some extra elbow grease, it'll be an excellent tool to help drive home your points. Write on!


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Review of Cartoonist Theory  Open in new Window.
Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!


What I love about your work: I really enjoyed the flow and capturing the creativity of cartoon artwork. It was a very entertaining read and blended humor well with the poetry.

Why I could relate to your work: My daughter draws anime and pops out these elaborate pieces so fast, I felt like I was reading a description of watching her work. Oh a few squiggles here and a line or two here and tuh duh, it's a stunning sorceress, erase this and add some lines here, and there's a vampire dancing with her. Wait, what?! How? I feel like your work captured this awe inspiring talent well.

My suggestions: I did not have any as this flowed well and didn't make me stumble anywhere

Any noticeable typos: Nothing pulled me out of your work.

My favorite line(s): "Let's make him wave - just flip the pages," Made me think of Animporhps, a book series my sister had as a kid. They had an illustration in the bottom corner that if you flipped the pages, showed the kid transforming into the animal of that particular book.

In conclusion: I enjoyed this. For your first time at humor, I think you captured it pretty well. I liked the penned in it and think the flow as very nice. Write on!


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Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome to WDC!!!

What I love about your work: I think you penned a very nice tribute to the excitement of a fresh start. It's always a big adventure to move somewhere but to a whole different state is truly life-impacting.

Why I could relate to your work: I lived in one state my entire life until I got married. Then within a few months, I followed my husband to the state where he was stationed and that was such a crazy experience. It was exciting, hard, sometimes I felt so isolated but it was a new life with my husband and I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

My suggestions: The second and third stanzas both have lines ending with "start" and "heart". I noticed it right away and found myself looking for a pattern with start and heart but those are the only two stanzas that have it. I would suggest tweaking the verbiage a little so that one of those stanzas has different words.

Any noticeable typos: I didn't see anything that pulled me from your work.

My favorite line(s): I enjoyed the end stanza cause it really captured that enthusiasm. It's a new adventure, embrace it!

In conclusion: I enjoyed this piece and it made me think of moving to California at 19. I'm glad we moved back, California was not our place, but you will never know what life brings you if you shy away from the opportunities. Well penned. Write on!


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Review of The Room  Open in new Window.
Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!


What I love about your work: This was a really interesting concept, pulling us into this dark world where we were working with the MC to figure out what was going on. The hourglass held our rapt attention, trying to connect the impact it held.

Why I could relate to your work: I love stories that are psychologically intriguing. And admittedly, I love hourglasses. They fascinate me so the idea of one being tied into this darkness had me reading more.

My suggestions: I would suggest rewriting this from a less-passive voice. Passive voice is were, was, had, it takes us out of the MC's world and centers us as only a viewer rather than actively engaging with the story. It makes it hit softer but if you can write from a non-passive place, the story will smack the reader so much harder.

This would also help by showing vs. telling. There's a lot of interesting imagery and emotions in this story, but again, it hits softer because a lot of it is shared through telling vs. showing.

I would recommend reading this out loud and looking for those places where you trip up or have to reread. They may need some rewording to be smoother for your readers.

Any noticeable typos: I did see a few but I would recommend focusing on the above tips. However, to help catch some of the above items and the typos, I'd recommend throwing this through grammerly, ms word, autocrit, prowritingaid, something like those to help catch those spots.

My favorite line(s): "In the bottom teardrop a beautiful black and white sand dune formed..." I loved this imagery because it was beautiful but also captured the fear and confusion of what was going on. White and black, perceived notions of good and evil mixing and perhaps being the final moments.

In conclusion: I thought this was an interesting piece that could really shine if given some polishing. Write on!


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Review of Bouncing  Open in new Window.
Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: I like that she recognizes how to move forward, refind herself. I also love that her friend comes to the rescue without even a moment of hesitation.

Why I could relate to your work: My mom went through a divorce a few years ago and it was/is very difficult for her sometimes. But you absolutely captured the sentiment that it's one small step at a time. You're not going to be okay every second of the day but it's recognizing those small moments that will eventually pull you through.

My suggestions: I would recommend shaking up the sentence structure a bit more. It felt like a good portion of the sentences started with names and she/he.

There were also a couple of moments where but was used but didn't feel quite natural. For example: "The bar was crowded and loud, but Lena felt a spark of excitement as she stepped inside." The but here didn't seem right because it seems like the crowded and loud might have been reason for the spark of excitement given her circumstances. And seems like it would have been the better option since it seems like that spark is awoken because of where she's at.

I would recommend reading it out loud. If you trip, even a little bit over your verbiage, your reader is going to stumble hard.

In conclusion: I think this was a good piece that captured the grief of losing a significant other and starting those smell steps towards healing, finding yourself again. Write on!


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Review of The Critic  Open in new Window.
Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: I find there is a thin line between constructive criticism and cruelty. Some people criticize only to demoralize and others truly seek to strengthen the receiver. I think you wrote a piece that really captured the side that isn't criticizing for the benefit of the receiver but is tearing down folks for their own pleasure.

Why I could relate to your work: I don't know if you've seen it yet but a movie recently came out, The Menu. This made me think of the food critic, how they have the power to boost a restaurant or destroy someone's dreams. Brutal. I also think social media has made everyone a critic and I've watched small businesses be destroyed by word of mouth when it's just a group being vindictive instead of actually providing feedback.

My suggestions: I don't really have any though I feel like I should. I should have something to wield over the critic, bend them to my power instead!

Any noticeable typos: I didn't see anything that grabbed me out of your work.

My favorite line(s): "I am above all gods and demons, for they to can be dissected and must bow to my point of view." This really captures how much sway critics envision they have and in some situations, they do have.

In conclusion: I like this piece and it pens the cruelty of the critic. Well done. Write on!



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Review of Angry Bit Of Air  Open in new Window.
Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: I felt like you penned so much attitude into this piece, the title really tying it all together. I envision this little sheet of a ghost, trying to be all big and bad, making lots of noise for himself but if anyone should chance to come up on him, they'd be like, aw, isn't he cute? It was a fun read and definitely painted an image in my mind.

Why I could relate to your work: Makes me think of chihuahuas. All attitude, lots of bark, even perhaps a bite if your back is turned, but they're really not scary. Just want to be.

My suggestions: I didn't really have any. My only complaint, which is more of a personal one than grammar or anything like that, is that when rhyming, sometimes it forces us to bend the english language awkwardly to match the rhyme. There was a little bit of that in this poem but nothing so bad it detracts from your work.

Any noticeable typos: I did not see anything.

My favorite line(s): I thought the whole thing was cute. I feel like each stanza played its part in showing the fearsomeness of this little critter.

In conclusion: I enjoyed reading this and could picture it in my head. It came together cutely and you conveyed a ghost without saying the word "ghost". Well done. Write on!


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Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hiya!

What I love about your work: You wove a very sad, touching tale with your poetry. They were so close, from younglings and then never got to meet again? That's so sad!

My suggestions: I didn't really have any suggestions though it would have been cool to see it grow into something more. Maybe their paths do cross later but as leaders of their opposing kinds, caught in a place between friendship and leadership, making hard choices to do what must be done.

Any noticeable typos: I didn't see anything that pulled me out of your work.

My favorite line(s): "Their paths never passed, heartache and tears never ending." See?! This here is just sad. It's not just friends, they're basically siblings, family, and they're being separated.

In conclusion: This was a sad tale of two fated beings and like I said, it sounds like it could be grown into more. Write on!


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Review of Broken Promises  Open in new Window.
Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hiya!

What I love about your work: This has some vivid verbiage and weaves a sad though violent story.

Why I could relate to your work: How many times have we wiped out something through our own arrogance? I feel your piece calls out how our violence eliminates so much.

My suggestions: In some of the 5 line stanzas, the last line throws off the rhythm. I would suggest reading it out loud and see if it trips you up a little. If it trips you up, it will really get your readers. Otherwise, I didn't really have any.

Any noticeable typos: I didn't see anything that pulled me from your work.

My favorite line(s): "The tumbling clouds whisper “too late” -" This sets up your work really well and gives us a preview into what we are going to read.

In conclusion: This was an interesting piece that was sad and beautiful all at once. Nicely done. Write on!


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Review of Dragon Song  Open in new Window.
Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hiya!

What I love about your work: Can you imagine after centuries have passed and it's only a legend, no longer truth to the people, and someone opens it up? Whoops! I like how you told an epic adventure in this story.

Why I could relate to your work: Years ago, I wrote a story about a young girl who went to save a village from a dragon. Ended up the dragon was a baby who was injured and the villagers were too terrified to realize it needed help so it was basically throwing a fit. I'd forgotten about that story until I read your poetry.

My suggestions: I didn't have any. This flowed nicely and like I said, told an epic adventure. Ended on a strong note that left me wondering what would happen with future generations.

Any noticeable typos: I didn't see anything that pulled me out of your work.

My favorite line(s): "In the room, a single hand raised and waved." There must be at least one brave soul willing and it was fun that this young 'un did so. Very clever way to deal with the problem.

In conclusion: You did well on capturing an epic adventure with a rampaging dragon. I'm still stuck on some poor unsuspecting villager coming across the steel net, dislodging it and surprise! Anyway, well done. Write on!


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Review of The Crack  Open in new Window.
Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hiya!

What I love about your work: I love the shift in moods. It goes from daydreaming to loneliness to such a happy ending. I loved the twists of feeling and the imagery and of course, the ending.

Why I could relate to your work: I grew up on the Dragons of Pern by Anne McCaffrey. She created such fantastic worlds and characters and the dragons, I loved them. This made me think of them and the hatchings and in some storylines, the loneliness. Beautifully done.

My suggestions: I really don't have any, this came together very well and flowed nicely.

Any noticeable typos: I didn't see anything that pulled my attention from your work.

My favorite line(s): Okay, this was actually very hard to even pick a favorite section. They all were beautiful. I love the second stanza the most though, I think. It captures how truly alone this poor dragon is and that desperation for a connection.

In conclusion: This was a gorgeously done piece and really came together well. Write on!


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Review of Purple Plush  Open in new Window.
Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hiya!

What I love about your work: I love pieces like this where it's told from an inanimate object and in the end, you're wondering if it's the child dreaming the reality for the toy or if it is the reality of the toy and their dreams. It had fantastic imagery and really captured the imagination that either the kid or the dinosaur/dragon had.

Why I could relate to your work: I can think of a few toys like this that both I had and my girls did growing up. Where during the day, they were basic, unassuming items that we had fun with, but at night, when we slept, they became ever so much more grand, more elegant, and took us on adventures that were impossible to trap in words.

My suggestions: I didn't really have any because again, you created this beautiful ambiguity. Was it the child dreaming the world of the dragon or the toy?

Any noticeable typos: Nothing grabbed my attention from your work.

My favorite line(s): "In dreams we ride the dark airs,
my wings powering the flight,
eyes seeking the griffin’s lair,
the quest to challenge his might."
Such a fierce world you've created, such ambitions. I loved the descriptions you packed into this piece and I think this stanza captured the ferocity of the dragon, even if only in his dinosaur dreams.

In conclusion: This was an interesting piece that had so much magic penned in it. Nicely done. Write on!


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Review of The Monkey  Open in new Window.
Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hiya!

What I love about your work: Um, yeah, that's one of ours. I've seen babies look less baby than that cutie pie! I'm guessing this is a signature, though I could be off my rocker, and I think it's super fun. Someone was super sweet to create it for you.

Why I could relate to your work: I used to have a neighbor who worked in the commissary. When cute babies came in, she would gush about how cute they were. But when an uncute baby came in, she'd gush "it's a baby". I'm not sure which category this one would fall in but I instantly thought of her when I saw it.


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Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hiya!

What I love about your work: Wow, this is a spectacular shot and amazing timing. When I first saw it, I thought it was a painting! Masterfully captured and one you should really pat yourself on the back for managing to immortalize.




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Review of Minnesota Winter  Open in new Window.
Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hiya!

What I love about your work: I totally laughed out loud when I saw this. Think it's a perfect depiction of the cold, especially up north and back east. Yikes. I just had a friend return from Michigan who was grateful to get back to our warmer weather, which is thankfully southwest warm and not Minnesota cold.

Why I could relate to your work: Overshare moment: I have a dent in my skull from a childhood accident that presses against my brain and causes seizures, but because of the location, it causes issues with the regulation of my body temperature. The way we found out it was impacting me this way is because my body temperature would drop to 95 degrees. I'd shiver violently, couldn't get warm (even under heated blankets), would forget what I was doing, be disorientated, and eventually fall asleep. Thankfully we've got it under control cause I'm a summer baby with sunshine in my veins, but as soon as I saw this, I instantly felt that sweep of cold down my memory's back. Brrr. I'll take being overly warm vs. freezing any day of the week.




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Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hiya!

What I love about your work: LMAO, but the real question here is... did he get the marshmallow? Great picture before the chaos erupted. And I loved the story, totally giggled over it.

Why I could relate to your work: My mom just had a similar experience. Discovered she had a mouse buddy, found out where he was coming in, and proceeded to be sucked down the road of shenanigans. I'm not sure she's actually caught him yet but I hear periodically about the new attempt she's made at capturing him humanely, and the abysmal failure that occurs.


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Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hiya!

What I love about your work: I love the idea of a land guarded so well by magical beings that anyone who ventures out is thought crazy and basically chased back into its borders. It sounds like a fascinating place full of magic and folklore, somewhere that more stories would emerge from.

Why I could relate to your work: I'm fascinated with dragons and mermaids, my bathroom is even decorated with mermaids, so poetry and stories focused on them draw me in right away. I especially like the idea of them being guardians.

My suggestions: This piece has the promise of so much more. There's so much room to take this further, pack it with imagery and really suck the reader in, but it feels more like it's only skimming the surface. I'd like to see a deeper dive into what this hidden village is full of.

Any noticeable typos: I didn't see anythingt hat pulled me out of your work.

My favorite line(s): "Those that did, came away with stories so unreal they were seen as having lost their minds.
The traveller, being labeled a lunatic in his own land, felt compelled to return" I really liked this concept that the sights they saw were so otherworldly that they were thought crazy and dove back into the other place. Like those travellers, I am compelled to ask for more details. I want to know the sights they saw, the flavors of the world, the scents, the sounds, the textures. The idea of a place so radically different that it is akin to driving us mad begs for more info.

In conclusion: I really enjoyed this. I wanted more because you created a masterful creation that invited more exploration. Well done. Write on!


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Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hiya!

What I love about your work: Found it fascinating the idea of a mermaid queen and a dragon, drawing into the hurricane, connected forever through a special gift. I also enjoyed the flow of your work. It was pleasant.

Why I could relate to your work: Dragons and mermaids are totally my jam so I was intrigued right off the bat. My bathroom is decorated with mermaids. Though I feel like I now need to find a couple art pieces of dragons and mermaids just to round it out.

My suggestions: The opening line is a little awkward as I don't think "sing" is the right tense. Sang or sung might work better.

Any noticeable typos:. "hanging form a gold and silver chain,{/} Form should be from, at least I'm pretty confident. Otherwise, those were the only two items that distracted me from your work.

My favorite line(s): I loved the last stanza cause you built such a strong scene, I could see the two riding into the waves. I almost imagine a female version of Poseidon, strong, ancient, and powerful. It was a great finish.

In conclusion: I enjoyed this piece. I liked the flow, liked the imagery, and liked the legend. Nicely done. Write on!


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Review of Barrier  Open in new Window.
Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hiya!

What I love about your work: Um, yeah, this was gorgeous enough I had to read it out loud to my oldest sitting beside me. It's stunning, heartbreaking, full of imagery and emotion, and damn, this is an amazing piece.

Why I could relate to your work: I'm reviewing a lot of mermaid and dragon combos, which really appeals to me cause of my love for both, but this is the first piece I've read where they're separated instead of coming together. It's sad. I imagine them mere inches apart but never closer can they get and my heart aches for them. What a world you've created.

My suggestions: I don't have any. This was a spectacular piece that kept me reading each line with hope that I knew would not happen. My daughter was also impressed by your work, had the lower lip out and everything when I finished reading it.

Any noticeable typos: I didn't see anything that pulled me out of your work.

My favorite line(s): That last stanza is gorgeous. Again, heartbreaking, but beautiful. A very strong piece that conveys a whole story in its 16 short lines.

In conclusion: This was an absolutely astounding creation and it just made me want to dive into the rich universe you painted. There is so much imagery and emotion, you can't help but feel it wash over you. Very well done. Write on!


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22
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Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Welcome to WDC!!!

What I love about your work: I really like the concept of this. It's something that I think every person wrestles with, accepting the duality of humanity, both good and evil reside in each of us and it's balancing between them. Though of course, I recognize that this is more than just human duality, that he's got a power within him (werewolf?)

Why I could relate to your work: I want to get a tattoo of an angel and a demon curled up against each other, cut and broken wings/tails, etc., because they represent the good and evil constantly fighting within us. Someday... but anyway that's a concept we can relate to.

My suggestions: I think this is a very good concept and would be cool to expand upon. I would suggest exploring the concept, playing around with it, see where it takes you.

My favorite line(s): "He began to perceive the harmonious dance between light and darkness, recognizing that both were integral parts of the human experience." Again, this is something that I feel like we all need to learn how to balance and dance with. Both sides are integral to who we are. How do we recognize the good within ourselves if we also do not contend with the bad?

In conclusion: I think this is an interesting piece that has the potential to be a much larger story. I would imagine you could grow into quite a beast if you explore it further. Write on!


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23
23
Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: I enjoyed the fact it went from ooh, how pretty, to oh, how noisy. It made me laugh and was beautifully worded for pointing out that sometimes nature is a little too nature.

Why I could relate to your work: My husband aspires to sleep outside under the stars, he's got a hammock and everything for sometime when we go camping. Me, I'll take the bed. Too much noise, risk of bears, and yeah, I'm "old", I don't need to be sore from trying to get comfy.

My suggestions: There's not really anything I have to give. You got the point across with such flowery language. It was a fun adventure.

Any noticeable typos: Nothing that grabbed me out of your work.

My favorite line(s): I loved the the last stanza. That was such a great ending and felt so accurate. Connection with nature... now, time to get some rest :P

In conclusion: I loved this piece and felt it very accurate. It was super cute and flowed well. Write on!


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24
24
Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!


What I love about your work: This is beautiful. I'm not a huge fan of rhyming poetry, often times, it forces people to speak awkwardly but your poem flows beautifully.

Why I could relate to your work: I loved the imagery in this, I could picture it and would love to see it illustrated. Of butterflies and dragons grabbed my attention immediately just because I love imagery and this lived up to expectations.

My suggestions: I don't have any. It was gorgeous. You wove quite a spell.

Any noticeable typos: I didn't see anything that pulled me out of your work.

My favorite line(s): "A simple desire,
a matter of fact,
a bit of discovery
kept a spirit intact." I knew I was in for a treat with just the first stanza.

In conclusion: This is truly a gorgeous piece and was well worth at least one or two or a few reads. Write on!


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25
25
Review by Siobhan Falen Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Happy Anniversary this month!!!

What I love about your work: I'm not sure I've ever encountered the question of what I would do if someone turned into a newspaper and was delivered to my doorstop. That is truly a unique question.

My suggestions: I don't think there are enough answers revolving around trying to find answers. I would love to try to figure out how to help you out but I'm not gonna spend all my money or time. So, instead, I had to settle for the sadistic answer, fire it is.

In conclusion: This was an interesting poll, definitely one of the most unique questions I've asked. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for the whatever conversation inspired this :D.


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