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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/teffom
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2,711 Public Reviews Given
2,941 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
NOVEMBER 21, 2016

Hello Mr. Kane --- Thank you for your entry into "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

I took a few pauses to thoroughly enjoy your traditional length short story, THE PEOPLE UPSTAIRS. Great title!

This is indeed a clincher. You've appropriate setting --- Long Island.
Family tie and characters, Grandmother, David and even Dolon --- whose concluding phone call ends the tale in an endearing type compliment as if a payback to the Sullivan family.

OF: The people upstairs, those invisible mites whom harass the kind old lady, who even cooks for them -- using the hostess card here is quite an addition -- the unplugged TV, reminiscent of Steven King's
STORM OF THE CENTURY -- all combine with fine plotting, step-by-step fortitude making this one a true keeper.

Good Luck in the contest.

Cordially, TEFF
"Invalid Item" Open in new Window.


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Review of The Home  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
NOVEMBER 20, 2016

When entering a nursing home, Mercy House, Bob Williams leaves behind kind neighbors and a dog named Winston.

When memories flood Bob's mind, the patient systematically experiences detailed visions of an establishment filled with ghosts gone verbal.

Into the twain comes a deceased wife, actual lapses in the faults of said care facilities and a will to prevent the worst.

This is a well written, traditional short story and I thank, "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. member W D Wilcox
for entering "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

The realization always hits home while reading THE HOME, that life is fragile and the spirit world intense.

Cordially, TEFF


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3
Review of This Old House  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
November 14, 2016

Thanks, Bill for entering your poem, THIS OLD HOUSE into this year's

 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1518804 by Not Available.


In a sense must admit the those peculiar

"pops and cracks" & "moans and groans" seem to plague even the like of moi .. and in more than one old house.

This is well done, presented artistically and a fun read.

Lastly, when the house, itself, ends up with that creepy "smile on its face."

Well, I just couldn't help but say --- Drat, because the domicile won.

Best Autumn onto Winter --

Signed -- teffom@writing.com
New handle attempt April Sunday Author IconMail Icon


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Review of Halloween Night  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
November 14, 2016

Thank you goes out to Prosperous Snow celebrating Author IconMail Icon for entering, 2016s

"Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

Your fine & funny poem, Snow --- HALLOWEEN NIGHT sits very well with your intentions of a parody of the famous, 'Twas The Night Before Christmas.

Must say, I was unprepared for the witches to change the first person narrator into a "pit bull."

Also, happy to see the resident giving the peanut butter treats to the trick or treat visitors. While outlining the night in question.

Overall, very thrilled at every line and stanza.

Cordially, teffom@writing.com trying a new handle.
April Sunday Author IconMail Icon


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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
OCTOBER 28, 2016

When you pen --- "This Jack O'Lantern's glance spooky --- " This contest judge is sorry to see the poem end.

So, to give myself a lift, I read EXCUSE ME IF I MUMBLE --- again.

Your idea here, Sandra Lyn is a good turn toward these odd little diamond slashed heads we find glowing on porches this month.

Thank you for this year's entry into (what in our 8th! year} is becoming a crowded place @ "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

I'll add your entry to: "HONOR ROLL -- ENTRY LIST -- Updating to Nov 30"  Open in new Window.

HAPPY CAULDRON TIME!
Signed, TEFF

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Review of The Piper  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
*WitchHat* OCTOBER 25, 2016

"An eerie tale of dark and light comes into play in the flash fiction: THE PIPER by KenWebb (user:kenwebb} Readers might want to stand back a few paces when they enter this tale, when a concerned "Carolyn Evans" inherits a new case. From climax of THE PIPER can the http://www.writing.com audience take home a fresh kill? Or picture a new monster on the block? During a brief climax for the delusions of Ben Wyr, a patient whom seems less troubled by darkness than one might expect, might entertainment for horror genre surround? Open this one and decide." Rev/10/25/16 *WitchHat*

Good pen
Good luck in the contest
Thanks for your submission into "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

Typo @ "abysal"

Welcome to the site, Yellow.

Miss TEFFY (moi) joined also in October but prehistorically in (2004)
The best thing I recall of that time was site emphasis on Autumn Stories and the ever popular Halloween tale.

*Pumpkin* THE SUGGESTION

Fall is great time to explore and find many places to create and enter stories.

Meanwhile, readers might always wonder why a piper?

*Leaf* THE SUGGESTION -- Perhaps, a bit of background for Wyr's madness, if any, is in order.


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Review of Best Buds Forever  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
OCTOBER 25, 2016


*WitchHat* Hi and HAPPY HALLOWEEN to: Super Sleuth

Thank you for your submission to
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1518804 by Not Available.


From your intro question: RE: Ability to distinguish each speaker in this dialogue only tale.

Yes, Jerry and Scott.

Whom, BTW, seem to put on their personalities and character traits, as if cloaked in costumes, with every paragraph. Which is an excellent achievement for a story of this length.

Then -- enter Annie, the nemesis of one of the boys.

*Pumpkin* IN SUM --

As dress up night treats the boys to a jaunt about town -- Annie holds a surprise for them.

THE CRITIQUE ---

Now, about that ballroom dancing: Let's just take the wild guess that maybe this is not offered to second or third graders.

Next, being out-of the loop, must honestly admit (I) am not used to conversing with this age.

However, do suggest raising the standard for the dialogue per se to older -- say 10/11/12. {?}

Meanwhile, thank you for your submission and good luck.

Cordially, Miss TEFFY

PS -- I tried the dialogue only story a few times, here onsite in my blogs mainly. These really are fun! Also, there was a contest accepting Dialogue only, but the word length might have been shorter.

As you have a knack for this form, might I offer ---

THE SUGGESTION

 Write more of these. Your dialogue story shows behind-the scenes plotting and pruning.

Cordially, REV sent from TEFF

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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
JUNE 1, 2016

Hi, Kaleo. Although not that early in the morning for moi, am still trying to fathom June's arrival.

TEN LITTLE ROOSTERS is a fun poem by all means.

You handle this creation and rhyming very well.

As for the one, well .. lost by "a pun." That is tooooooo funny. Thanks for these laughter lines.

Welcome to the site.

Cordially, TEFF
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Review of Dad  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
JUNE 1, 2016

Reviewing at writing.com suggestion: DAD. Oddly enough from notations shall begin with minor editing corrections.

@ light shut my door == lightly
to took == it took
i can == I can
2 seats == two seats
30 something == thirty (Always spell out numbers, hon.)
ditto -- thirty feet instead of 30 feet
doctor's office
Nix, nyet on "10 minutes" ... use ten minutes

The story unfolds as an eighteen year old, son musters courage to spin a tale of a sad time for his father.

In the telling one sees many valid uses of how we speak and how we add zest to the writing per se. The mini short also includes a fine tribute for an emergency hospital visit via quite apt details. One feels as if present. Excellent job, there. Setting achieved.

Like -- car peeling out, the cluttered reply and the Hoover Dam worth of tears.


Rev emailed cordially from TEFF teffom@writing.com
PS -- Fine June ahead for you, dear author.
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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
FEB 14, 2016

Hi, Vincent

I am closing
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1190255 by Not Available.


today and rechecking all entries.

Of note, you are to receive 2000gp for entering the contest with an acceptable submission.

Your work, as you can see, is also listed in our HONOR ROLL @ the contest forum.

Admittedly, the genre choice of steampunk remains a puzzle to moi.

However, I can see this flash fic meets the rules of the writing contest for Christmas genre.

Due to the 50' tree becoming a 70' footer as it is forthwith decorated by alien aircraft.

Well, the "quadrangle" gathering in 1927 --- later near story conclusion awarded 1857 cider certainly leaves one simply aghast.

Tightrope like imagination seems to be keen inside:

"The Bare Tree...A Christmas Tale" Open in new Window.

Mercy and then all those lights surrounding "the bare tree." Later the hospitalization of "The Dean." We've a Pandori to decipher, then well also repeatedly add up other players as your story builds from start to finish.

Well that nasty doctor, oh my oh my. Might I wistfully conclude with ... oh those ...

"Misktonics!" What a fam, huh?

Cordially, TEFF
Enclosed 2000gp for entering.
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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
FEB 14, 2016

HI to contest contestantCynaemon Author IconMail Icon

The copyright for this poem
 A Star, A Child Was Born Christmas Morn Open in new Window. (E)
Looking into a deep black sky inspires a Christmas poem.
#797432 by Cynaemon Author IconMail Icon


lists as 2004.

Therefore, allow me to compliment the work for finely capturing the day we commemorate for the Savior's birth.

Here, Cynaemon centers on "Christmas morn."

The bright star, "the frosty snow" the skies ..

all serve to enhance the calming quality of that silent night long ago. Yes?

Plus, by pretending it is the same night, this poem puts that action into Christmas genre.

Thanks for entering "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

Where entries are not required to be written in the years of the contests ...

"Invalid Item" Open in new Window. then lists contestant new or old stories and poems.

Best all of 2016 and HAPPY ST VALs, dear poet.

REV sent Cordially from TEFF
Enclosed 1000 GP for an accepted poetry entry.

Oh, winners out this week. Good Luck!
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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
HI SANDRA!

THE PAPER LAY WAITING is one of the fastest paced rhymes going on http:www.wwriting.com.

When your story like poem tells us of two spent wrappers ... wrapping ...

Your audience may take from this poetic endeavor ...

Both the charm of Christmastide

and perhaps audience association,

especially @

"Each C-eve we struggle at this festive event
to squelch our Yuletide misgivings that we over spent."

Also, your line-up of materials for the presents

presents much inside other holiday homes,

reminding of holiday funtimes preparing gifts.

Good title, which conveys that special syllable sound.

OH, as contest judge let me again sjust say this aloud ...

THE --- PAPER --- LAY --- WAITING

Very well done!

Enclosed gp incentive for poetry for accepted entries

@ 2015s "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

REV sent Cordially from TEFF With HAPPY ST. VALs

*Heart* *Heart* *Heart*
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Review of Merry Chrismouse!  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
ST VALENTINEs DAY, 2016

Dear Sandra Lynn,

Reading
 Merry Chrismouse! Open in new Window. (E)
Evicting an unwanted visitor of the vermin variety.
#2075069 by SandraLynn Author IconMail Icon


leaves me still laughing at the goings on ...
IN SUM
when mouse invasion ....

and removal strategies ....

enlist a family

ready to celebrate our last winter holiday. Christmas!

So glad you chose to enter "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

Prizes and winners going out this week.

Stay warm by all means as MERRY CHRISTMOUSE warms my *Heart* on a cold Sunday.

PS -- Sandra and all of PRP (PublicREVpg)

Seems, we may agree upon liking the cheer of the Christmas genre tales. Ending the contest on ST Val's works for me.

Good luck in the contest. Enclosed is your sweet treat, today of 2000gp, an incentive for all contestants.

REV sent from TEFF
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14
Review of Santa's Gift  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
JAN 23, 2016

REV sent for
Santa's Gift Open in new Window. (E)
Sam and Charlie, joined by the town bully, make a delivery to the North Pole.
#1998105 by Jennifer L Rowlands Author IconMail Icon


WOW! Rowlands this story, your contest creation is as a traditional length short story on its way TTT. To the top!

Readers may expect a turn of events which start off with the step-by-step to expand to a finished product that indicates cream-of-the-crop imagination.

} PLOT -- Brief Summary
Two children, Sam and Charlie embark on a quest to the North Pole to Pole to give Santa a gift.

Then ... A bully named Ben challenges the two friends.

Waiting in the wings, dreams which trounce the tides.

Bravo!

Thanks for entering, "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.
PS -- Only a few weeks until the winner's list appears.

Cordially, April Sunday Author IconMail Icon Teffom@writing.com

Enclosed 2000gp for entering in 2015
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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
JAN 23. 2016

REV sent for
The Christmas Angel - the story version. Open in new Window. (E)
'MY' Christmas Story
#2069118 by Fyn Author IconMail Icon


Inside this contest entry for "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.arrives scenes of various snowfalls as a young girl undergoes recovery from an auto accident. She's left with extreme impaired vision.

Teasing for "coke bottle" lenses follows her into formative years. These are spent amidst holiday celebrations with a master wood carver.

An annual Christmas tree lighting may surprise readers.

Story conclusion adds zest to knowledge of people and touches the *Heart*

Vivid lines encountered today, remind me of this Jan 23 date, as the Eastern seaboard battens down the hatches. We all stay put, Fyn, beneath intrepid invasion like from your story ... as ...

"one of those magical snows with the big, fat, fluffy flakes. It had been snowing on and off all day ...

Cordially, April Sunday Author IconMail Icon a.k.a TEFF

Gift point 2000gp enclosed for submission incentive.
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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
CHRISTMAS 2015

While everyone tauts good cheer today, must tell you, Bill

your contest submission, THE CHOCOLATE HOLIDAY

certainly brings one to smile.

Now onto the rev section ...

"As two elves dicker with Santa a.k. a. Fatboy ...

and snowchildren invade an occupied home ...

chocolate wonder invades this ken for Christmas Genre ...

down among the pines.

Complete with banter which even includes a snowangel named Harold."

WDC! & PRP! ATTENTION PLEASE!

Traditionally, W.D. WILCOX spins winning tales ---

SEE:
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1521424 by Not Available.


Mr Wilcox, EVERYONE shall *Heart* this one. Good luck in this year's "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE! FROM TEFF!


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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
NOV 19. 2015

REV sent for:
 
STATIC
The Doomed Schoolbus  Open in new Window. (13+)
Nine school students meet their fate on Halloween Eve.
#1605652 by Oldwarrior Author IconMail Icon


THE DOOMED SCHOOLBUS, set in Kentucky is one of the most surprising takes on shape-shifting ever encountered on http:www.writing.com.

As a 2015 submission, this five star work bills also @

"Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

IN SUM ---

"When nine high school students are stranded inside a "dadblasted" motor-on-the-fritz bus .. youthful thoughts turn to missing trick-or-treat night. When a werewolf climbs onto the bus with an eerie agenda toward animal abuse revenge ... well, Kids (readers) ... best batten down the hatches before distraught parents remain hopeless by story end. BRAVO! Good luck in the contest." April Sunday Author IconMail Icon

Enclosed 2000GP for entering in 2015.

This is also the kind of tale which can be taken a lot further inside the realm of fine literature. Imaging now possible detail quirks for the costumed lad, the deer with a watch, etc, etc.

Yes, another submission that is memorable.


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18
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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
NOVEMBER 10, 2015

REV sent for:
STATIC
Something Horror This Way Comes Open in new Window. (13+)
A burnt-out witch is up to no good
#2060464 by W.D.Wilcox Author IconMail Icon


A witty startling, humorous entry in 2015s "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

You must excuse me temporarily, oenning this reaction review ---

For I wondered throughout the point behind an "old hag's" intentions, plotwise. Mr Wilcox presents quite the nastiness in village tale mode ---

Find: (e.g.) spiders brewing in cauldrons, poisoned ponds, aromas to gag a maggot, sorta. My take the latter .. on overall details.

Then the knowledge that your knew, that I knew I would read every word. Ta ta, as the contest judge.

And still I never saw it coming. How wonderful this witchy comparison, that hits us from literature so fine.

The punch line just perfectly placed. Right before the end.

Then came laughter, then came more laughter, then came smiles.

Bill, this story shall last me all of autumn. How funny this flash fiction truly stands. All write here on the I-net via http://www.writing.com.

Thanks & BRAVO

Enclosed 2KGP for entering our "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. 's annual activity.

Also .. soon opening another EVERYONE CONTEST .. THIS MONTH!

JOIN, the fun, dear author @ "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

PS -- One of the best things about this story is the reprehensible turnaround for an ancient witch, let's just say -- revengeful for nigh seventy-five years.

Audience, this is the one to enjoy!

Cordially, Miss TEFF


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19
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
SEPTEMBER 15, 2015

If there were a comedy award for best, super story of the entire site, this one is high on the rung.

Dear B Evans Hudson, I am still laughing. You had me first @

McGee (a dog) resembling a "small yak"

When Mikey defends his pet and best friend in Southern speak, ... I hear you.

When catastrophe hits and the likelihood of another Grayfriars Bobby enters the foray well the perfection of this flash fiction truly surfaces.

Do add comedy to your genre choices, hon.

Review awarding five *Star* for Twenty star work.
BRAVO!

Rev sent Cordially from TEFF, opening "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. soon.
Evan, hope to see you enter.


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20
20
Review of The Sun Is Gone  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
AAUGUST 26, 2015

Reading the lines of THE SUN IS GONE, perhaps brings one to an edge of what lies beneath or betwixt this poetic missive.

 Can one really disagree with: "That it's still there ... "

Nor: "It did not fall.

Like the format style of the poem ME: the way it is centered on the page. Delivery seems quite secure with the composition.

Wondering about the repeat tutelage of "darkness".

Wondering also if it might behoove the poet, to spell out the goings on.

Cordially, TEFF


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21
21
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
AUGUST 12, 2015

Good morning, Jatog the Green Author IconMail Icon

Your 2012 poem, THE COURTEOUS SLEEPWALKER, is a witty one to read and enjoy.

Listed as a contest entry, must say you make full capacity use of those prompt word inclusions.

As a knitter, who takes her craft seriously, the lines RE: the sleep depraved, Jay "kicking a ball of yarn" kinda made me shudder. During, trying times, I hope it never comes to that. Simply including how your poem touched Miss TEFF.

And since, rev replies are asking where I found this older portfolio item. ANS: rr --- random reviews sent it to me.

Cordially, TEFF
"POETRY FROM SOUL CAFE" Open in new Window.

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22
22
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
August 10, 2015

Yes, must say this is quite a surprise to open.

Well, I never ...

Okay, above, drawing on the keynote words of author, Tamara Myers who makes audience laugh due her Penn Dutch Mystery Novels.

"Well, I never."

Dear, author, maybe time to continue. Somewhere after:

"This is where I'll type my story."

Do indeed .. bravely ..

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23
Review of Bluebell Wood  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
August 10, 2015

My goodness, Choconut, what a lovely woodsy picture this is, upon your item cover.

This poem is tenderized with the teeniest hint of the Spring bulb, the Bluebell. Nice job. Thanks for posting open and also thanks for extra gp auto-award. How kind you are.

Cordially, TEFF

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24
24
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
August 10, 2015

Good morning, Livy and welcome to http://www.writing.com

Two poems this morning, both from new members deal with romance.

Maybe 'tis in the air today.

Livy, your title: SPLINTERED BOYFRIEND and then the use of "puppet master" and "wooden girl" also serves to tie together the title theme.

Very good. Enjoy navigating the site.

Cordially, TEFF

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25
25
Review of Forever  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
August 10, 2015

Good morning Elle S and welcome to http://www.writing.com

Your poem, FOREVER is okay, despite your comment:

"I honestly do not like this or the others to follow at all. I kind of want to give teenage me a slap lol."

Oh, that's just silly.

Plus, one thing to do is love ... LLLLUUUUVVV your work, especially after posting.

While Forever talks much about a private romance and love, albeit in a rather repetitious way .. so what.

Love the feeling, love the past.

Cordially, TEFF
Feel free to *Check* out "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. next month.


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