A June copy-rite poem from Fyndorian has an echo of morning in it.
Like the line: "an argument not quite settled."
With intro dedication to sharing a second cup of coffee with a friend reminds me, the taste of morning is summed up here.
I'm so lucky earlier this Spring to enjoy "the scent of lilacs" like this poem.
Plus Vanilla Maxwell House this morning.
As for arguments, probably find one of those sooner than later.
Admittedlly ... part lecture, part sermon at the end of this essay -genre. But genre chosen correctly. All rolled into a fascinating comparison between erasers, life and colororful typing which the author suggest portrays are moods.
Oh, really?
Rosey day ahead here, temp dropped. Ground wet, time to dig some holes. Sorry from Mary the gardener.
Yes, thinking about ERASE AND IT WILL SHOW ... under the morning sun.
Love the line: "Buying an eraser is like buying a second chance." Me: at life.
Cordially, Teff
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Ranni offers an intro for "Beaten." "This happened a year ago --"
If so, this is a sorry situation for this author.
With articles or the ever-popular compostition story there's leeway to type in non-fiction. Perhaps adding the word to the intro without a genre choice is one suggestion for this poet.
The poem is detailed.
Writing.C welcomes this new writer.
Cordially, from Teff
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Mark this well, member kaway's poem DEEP has adequate punctuation with sad rhymes about "unlove" mentioned in the intro for this item. Yet, a startling read.
Perhaps about a missed relationship gone skiddaling into time and memory.
"Yeah, yeah, Travis ... but what about the 'Vette?"
FEAR THE REPOT MAN is a tale with a twist. A story with a moving plot line.
Dear Author -- consider not using too much that may not have been in the original ... "walked briskly" and
"delicate hands" for some reason interrupted this reader. But the piece is fine really.
Lisa, Barbara?
Of --- "of-" Give a few dashes which look better, are acceptable, easier to read, please.
Not a single detail on Bobby, Steve (sorry.) See, Trav? Story is realistic. A grabber.
Lisa's eyes go from sky blue to emerald.
However, this is a five star, no doubt about it.
Glad you plugged this one on Plug Page.
Sure to capture readers! Write up a bundle and have fun.
Sincerely, Modesta Gamble (Teff's asleep)
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Nightwriter offers NIGHT on Auto-Rewards. A contest winner about a girl against a tree, in the dark, a storm overhead with an aftermath of a damaged soul. Rather terrifying.
Sometimes, and perhaps Teff is not alone, when sponsors sponsor and writers write we begin with Eng comp. Graduate to the college thesis.
Where in the world OR WHO defines essays and flash fiction?
Night meets criteria of latter, has a beginning yet sad end.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
June 14, 2005
The title OLD ROOTS, NEW BRANCHES is a grabber title for this item by Laxman m Basnet.
Like: "The old Kathmundo, all crumpled with cobwebbed, tapered roads." Wow!
Note for numerous setting descriptions of similar ilk to this sentence, one sees potential already, from the top.
Of the wall "to scramble it over." Colloquial?
Please place Nepal in opening (hook) par if that is the proper country.
Re: The Poignant wheel of time. Cap P not needed unless this is a topic or actual proper name. Very good noun & adj combo.
Teff seldom re-writes for author's. However, for "Both of them gave him the same logic."
Maybe try === Both afforded him the same logical conclusion. --- E.g. only. For all writers decide words they pick to tell their stories. Therefore, we are confidently safe when or if we reply with ... "I'll write the way I want to write." Which Teff once said. So no stepping on toes intended, dear Laxman.
Be assured that Teff has made so many mistakes in her writing that these can't even be counted. Thus you are not alone. And particularly for content, I very much approve of your plot line here.
Plot being the absolute essence and backbone of a story. If not we'd ONLY see perfect punctuation and sentence structure repeated from here to Shanghai. Sorry, I digress.
By the way ... what business is Bikal in with his Moscow interests?
Old Roots, New Branches === Foggy conclusion.
Helter-skelter verbs.
With === American connotation of "a kid or two."
Character names here for THE LOSS OF LOVE: CHAPTER 1 are sufficient.
A William appears and is that Jon, also?
Sentences that have subject first, predicate second and object third remind me of forced diagraming with a ruler, a pencil and a sweaty brow, waiting for school to end each June. Just a teeny-tiny bit too tight, sort of.
Loosen that up as much as you can. Verbs are good and not at all disruptive.
Search for creative language anywhere on the net. Or our work falls into a category that is too common.
Remember, you must try to supply some flair, here and there, Unknown Writer.
This will come right up out of a printed page and grab you by the throat and say one day ... Yo, remember me? I am exaggeration! I am creativity for creativity's sake.
Next, setting. Jon one can see. Mel is already standing in the wings.
Good start of a novel, Unknown.
You simply must write on.
Cordially, Teff
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At the bottom of my screen, gold letters on a black label, there reads,
Writing.Com: OLD FRIENDS.
Your private like poem has no rating and thus the four star.
Of this poem, whose potential (yours) peeks out with every single line. I must say firmly to you, and please heed this earstwhile advise.
RHYME ON!
Cordially, Teff
PS == Authors, members, guests ... Particularly liked: 'hand made cards.'
Not a thing of the past, I hope. For beating Hallmark to the punch is often very self sufficient.
"Susan was beginning to think ..." --- use thought.
Brevity, Miss Texas Sunflower, never harms a piece that opens a novella.
Carry all the words to one side of the page, shake like shake and bake and let the wasteful words fall through a sieve.
Then, when you give me the outside of the animal clinic's door, the roads and byways and blue bonnetts and sunsets of the Lone Star state's setting, we have a deal.
From Request Reviews comes jburgesscst's THE BUSINESS OF LIVING, a flash fiction, fast read.
In a car bound for Mexico, a four yr old girl and her father who just murdered his wife.
Dialog == good and accurate grammer evades the piece.
However, just a teeny bit too crisp as the ending becomes the title when the car crosses the border from Cally.
How else to improve the ending?
To tell the truth, when the radio went un-noticed, the sparks coud have flown by having the little girl's mother, alive and the border partrol guy arresting Mark.
Everyone writes and edits their own way, natch. Teff looked for fair play in this one. Character is certainly felt.
Dear Reason, Your take in A LITTLE ABOUT PONDER is a delicate morsel of conceptualizing patterns. Logic, thoughts ... all here, members, authors, poets, guests. Readers may enjoy this fresh outlook.
When our author, Reason gets to the sentence about the skunk for some wild unknown reason, Reason, Teff thought to name the next character in my next Southern style lit, Ponder. Or maybe his dog. A dog named Ponder comes to mind.
However, one realizes that when they are plotting ... away from the keyboard,
away from the research files ....
at night dreaming up the next part of a story
playing anything over in the mind really ....
One is pondering.
Yes siree, big thanks for this sweet piece of insight, luv.
Cordially, Teff
Pondering a Ripper Theory lately? Check
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Whatever your compliments are for your "narratives" and the justification of "I know you just read anything you get your grubby hands on" these are assumptions. .... Dear author of What Do You Think, there's not a lick of comedy that throws one, nor any concise points as to why you should write here.
Now in the ms, there may be evidence.
Not shown.
Lots of times a writer must be egotistical but a true story is not just quips of anyone's life. Generally there's plot, setting etc.
If you mature by reading the best you can find then in all probability after about twenty or even thirty years goes by, try it.
Judgement by peers is seldom concrete.
So the gift of the craft ... is it here readers, guests? If so, tap this piece on the shoulder and say, psst you are not alone.
Snow Lake's intro for ORANGE GLOVE beckons the imagination. "An old hotel on the Isle of Skye." Secrets, gamblers on life itself, a lone gunman all sum up intrigue."
Like: "The island is like a large opal" which adds to hook / grabber in first paragraph.
Like: "The young woman ... in reasonably good shape" the description of the beach walker destined to meet her fate quite suddenly, actually.
Flash fiction worth a look see.
Cordially, Teff
Hey Everyone! Check out the competition at
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