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Review of I Remember  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)


Nov. 20, 2005
Dear Lorenzo Coco Sr.

As I toy with the decision to rate this poem a five star, I'm certain you're feeling your brother's sincere loss to your family. Please accept my sympathy at this time.

On another note in ordinary time, worrying about ratings is shared by all. Stopping posting several works in progress from my own port is the result of ratings. And sir, these can be very low or on the opposite end of the stick, very high. You may want to check out sev of my pieces on Reviewing and my forum, The Moffett Files Take 3, to continue in that vein. Somedays, Teff (that's me) becomes the self-proclaimed guru of opinions on these matters.

Of your poem, one can surely see a childhood lived to the hilt, with a loving family in the background, and a thread so thick between brotheres, that no, it cannot be severed.

Now, you must look to the wife and the family and celebrate as best you can the holidays ahead. Recently, I lost my father, Paul in Feb and sometimes I look beside me and he is still there, in my heart, in my mind and in my peripheral vision. Photos help, believe it or not.
As by reading and enjoying, almost adopting your heartfelt poem, I am reminded nothing helps as much as OUR memories.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

Thanks for this poem which reminds us all of a way to look at life lived and provides between the lines an outlet for grief.

God Bless, Mr. Coco.

Cordially,

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Oh, please keep writing, perhaps we'll hear more from you, maybe even in short story form one day. For, this is a guess, I think you have some stories to tell. Think to setting and then to character and you're off and running.
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Review of Holes  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)


[c:rose} Sometimes best to always check genre before reading into poems or prose.

Genre: Emotional
Genre: Women's Experience

The poem HOLES, by Dacia M offers up some surprising lines, then seems ready to align with revenge.

However, poem sticks to cadence and rhyme, easily read and understood.

Happy Thankgiving, welcome to WC, and hope you post again.

Teff
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Review of Freedom  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)

No genre mentioned or chosen by author, Fungah. FREEDOM is a brief essay about a first person narrator taking a look back. Thoughts are frought through with descriptions of unruly situations.

Hard to figure this one.

Cordially,
Teff
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Review of Be Black  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


Praise for this powerful poem, dear poet, is not simply enough. We do look around and feel as if Black Americans are still being cheated.

Why should this be so? Teff has little answers but knows the wrongness of all crime, black on black, white on white.

Lighten up, vote proper, smile. Be ourselves, no matter who we be. Is that a start? For outside the City of Brotherly Love, where many problems exist, have existed there is a place called Valley Forge.

At Valley Forge you will find the names of Black American citizens who fought for the American Revolution.

With your poem, BE BLACK, the lines are delivered with absolute eloquence and accuracy.

Know, Mikall, you are not alone in wondering about your future. ALL of us do from time to time, therefore like your poem, we tend to stress standing side by side as in 1776.

God Bless! What a topic you bring to the table. I hope you get many, many readers for this well written piece in poetic form.

You lecture us, dear writer.

Worse, we (and senators) probably deserve the banter.

Cordially,

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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)

 ??? first work out of spontenaity(sp?) Open in new Window. (13+)
One late night i was inspired to write, this is my first ever attempt.
#1034518 by C Rus Author IconMail Icon


C Rus, your piece seems to go in and out of consciousness. For a first attempt at penning a story, this is very good. Don't forget your spaces between paragraph breaks. You can run it through a spell check by hitting spell in the editing line. WC provides a fairly sizeable dictionary on site.

Sum: Has a fellow performed or not performed a brutal act upon a female acquaintance?

Members, guests, authors, reviewers click here and decide for yourselves.

Decent work, Rus! Simply needs an edit to shorten the questions the character asks himself.

Cordially,
Teff

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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)

Cherry Lane's poem, THIS BIPOLAR BRAIN may be brief but it is certainly informative.

Emotional, yet author handles a difficult subject very well indeed.

Welcome to WC, hope to see more from you, Lane.

Cordially,

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Review of World of Shadow  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.0)


N Sildurien posts WORLD OF SHADOW, admitting in the intro and the poem itself a fondness for, shall we say, gray skies.

As opposed to and shunning:

" ... cruel summer light."

Well let's assume this poet enjoys non-sunny Novemeber skies with a Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Cordially,
Teff

Here's more gloom, N S ---

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#982180 by Not Available.
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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)


"My Life is forever changed
Priorities, I must re-arrange" flows from the pen of Ann Ticipation, our Lady Baroness among many exceptional poets here at WC.

Cruising the site, Ann, thought to test one of yours again for the pure pleasure of a fine poetic read.

For some reason, Ann always puts me in a mood somewhere between the sun and the stars.

Thanks, and Happy Thanksgiving a little early.

Cordially,

Teff drinking coffee, reviewing and having fun.

Brr, cold out there this morning!
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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)


THE PEOPLE YOU CAN SUE! by flogamocker is a ribald read, laughable yet charming.

Best lines below. Teff loves these.

"Procure a good lawyer
And go out and sue!"

Who to sue?

"The butcher,
The baker,
The hot coffee-maker."

Funny points about a way of life available to all financially, so it seems these days.

Cordially, Teff

Sue This!

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#1030559 by Not Available.
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Review of Lovers club  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)

Now, unnoticed, don't be shy. Just teasing due to your pen name.

LOVER'S CLUB is a great title. You'll need your word busting, spell checker on high alert. Don't we all?

Re-edit for: Comfortable
canvas
I prefer capital I for I
I'd

Ah, one more Romantic poem in the Writing. Com archives.

Rhyme on! Welcome to the website, hon.

Cordially,

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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)

Dear Aruna,

Telling readers about the search for a job by a professional in the field comes across loud & clear in MAKING A DIFFERENCE FOR YOURSELF. Yet the coming across itself seems to be the ultimate problem.

Chronologically:

Try to do a few extra spell checks here. If unsure the rule is to always do them and keep doing them when other sentences are added in.

The paragraph breaks are an absolute mess. Simply go back into the piece, read it as reviewers and readers do and tie these broken pieces together for smoothness plus clarity. Thus no one out here gets impatient and worse, stops reading.

Realizing the piece posts very recently, and that you are a new member, is one reason to cut you a break on the minors.

Thus the Four Star for endeavor in tackling a harsh subject, low employment availability, despite an applicant's educational stats.

Happy Thanksgiving! Welcome to WC.

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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)

Dear Ladyazn,

Your brief fictional account of Katrina hitting N'Orlans shows an attempt at aiming into the storm with the criterion stretched for present circumtances there at the time.

Chronologically:

Isn't Madi Gras in the Spring, near Lent?

The entire city was informed of the approaching hurricane.

Perhaps verbs can resemble past or present tense, where past perfect generally comes off as far too wordy.

And last of all. This was posted Nov 17, maybe you can re-address paragraph breaks at your leisure on next reading or edit.

Nice try, just needs a bit more reality, hon.

Best Thanksgiving ahead.

Cordially,

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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)



P S Foster you do all farm kids a favor with NOTHING RUNS LIKE A DEERE. Whether they be young or old, long having graduated from the sight of a John Deere parked inside an empty barn. Which usually means: Hey, I'm a monster, won't you ride on me?

Two boys take the ultimate adventure, and in the meantime take out a gate while driving the tracter that in reality should be taboo.

Why keep the keys in the things, right?

Well written fun read!

Cordially,

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Review of The Cure  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)

The Cure ---

 The Cure Open in new Window. (E)
i wrote this from my heart and I want an Honest Review of how good or bad it is
#1032736 by Savic Author IconMail Icon


May be shorter than reviews solicited to critique this short poem.

Mostly, we tend to always capitalize I.
So there's one correction, Savic, dear.

A suggestion for the poem is hard to make, for sometimes it is hard to review, revamp or rekindle some type of method to place the brevity of what we don't read before our very eyes --- into a proper perspective.

Generally, one can note by simply reading poems of this nature that there are many of similar ilk. And, sorry, no they do not jump out and grab even the most romantic readers by the thumb nails.

So, mostly many writers, ALL of us should and can, if we put our minds to it, bring topics to the table of vibrant interest whenever we slave over them long enough, with hopes for creativity, entertainment etc.

Note: The above said, it is not always an easy task, thus our individuality often shows.

Welcome to WC, sweetheart. Look around and ideas will surely generate 'round these parts.

Cordially,

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Review of A Winter's Tale  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)


GumRimJa posts A WINTER'S TALE, Nov 14, found on Read-A-Newbie Page.

Welcome to WC, Gum. The title for your poem, although billed as lyrics, reminds one of A Winter's Tale, a novel by Mark Helprin.

Helprin, famous author wrote then of a New York City past and present. His novel is larger and heavier than my Webster's New World Dictionary often used here for spelling and vocab, as I write these reviews right straight into the box WC provides. And, yes, I strongly recommend the book for pleasant reading, especially in the winter time.

Your poem tells of a love that is lost, past. Rhymes are fine, maybe just needs one more eye-catching stanza or more.

Nice attempt, keep posting.

Cordially,

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Review of Heavens of Glory  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


Pogacsas brings to the table a completed, prolific novel, THE ETERNAL STRUGGLE. Featured on Auto Rewards, page 2, authors can click on this one and see several unsual creatures, breakfasting and coming awake.

Meet Orian this morning with his coffee mug.

Find good details for the "28 man battle ship, A Enga Neyna.

Discover "the Enemy building quicker than anticipated."

Watch for the current Alliance, the Nato of space warriors.

Recap with the Alliance that have gone before.

Incidently, verbs, syntax, grammer contribute to an easily deciphered read in sci-fic genre.

Good Luck with this one, Pog.

Cordially,

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All invited ----
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Review of The Sodden Sponge  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)

<<<<<<<<<< >>>>>>>> <<<<<<<<< >>>>>>>>>
Nov, 13, 2005
Poet, Ann Ticipation pens:

"My arms are worn from holding
So many I'm enfolding" in her latest post, THE SODDEN SPONGE.

This poem is dedicated in a fashion to the nursing genre of which the author is one.

Touching poetry, once more a heatfelt subject delivered with finesse. Thanks, Ann.

So members, poets, authors, don't miss this one.

Cordially,

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Review of Starship Sentry  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Nov 13, 2k5

Definition --- A sentry: not just third diemensional beings.

Maybe it is of the utmost importance to keep this quasi description in mind when reading STARSHIP SENTRY by J. A. Powell.

From the intro: "A satire of the genre."

The sci-fic genre, that is. Complete with linear reverse, the third dimension, quadrants .... on the Starship Chippewa, the piece follows the exploits of Sentry One, Two and Three.

Waiting in the wings, a puzzle to be solved.

Sorry, Powell, looks likes, sounds like and reads like sci-fic to me.

Best Thanksgiving to come.
Cordially,

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Review of And  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)

Good morning, Kittie.

Welcome to WC, where reviews abound, fun is behind every click on forums, contest etc.

Your poem AND talks of love found, love embraced. And ... you deliver a personal message with the lines pointing to your emotions throughout.

And is a much overused word in many items here. And a word we can't seem to do without. And that's all for now, luv.

Nice try, keep rhyming.

Cordially, Teff

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#1030559 by Not Available.
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Review of Biography Contest  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)


With this rate, allow a few extra points of OP stars for sheer astonishment.
Allow also, that this revver is already asking herself, is this a spoof?

So Ladies and Gentleman, boys & girls, members, authors, poets and guests the BIOGRAPHY CONTEST is upon us.

No it isn't about the standard highschool essays Ben Franklin or FDR, or JFK but about a hostess named Hidden Chambers.

By her personal notations in an item on her port you will see that this fiesty, go-getter hails from Cleveland.

My first Q as a contestant might be === have you ever met Drew Carey, or been on any of his shows. In order to reach the 5 K word limit, I might hope your claim to fame answer is yes.

Also, if you bend the rules a bit to include celebs, folks can get to the library and maybe without direct interviews hand in a few brightly crafted wins. If you seek e.g. 5 K words on gurj boo from Nov 2005 election fame, the current, seated, US pres, now that I can surely supply, doing the word limit without a fuss.

Other than that, my advise is to re-think this one, hon. And without a doubt there comes to the surface --- Why? in the first place. A dare is a guess. Well, those Cleveland folk always were a bit on the wild side, uh so I hear.

Cordially,

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#1030550 by Not Available.


{c:rose{ Contest looks fine in the presentation. Goes overboard with finesse.

Another suggestion: post this to auto rewards, where you may reel in a few more entries.
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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

"Bob Simon pulls Chapter 3: RONNY HAS A CAT off with flying colors.

Billed as a draft, one finds only 2 typos, so there's some editing already afoot.

thesame == the same
spanish === capital S, Spanish

Heather baits whathisname, ouch! In the dialog, Mr. Simon, you forgot to tell the first person narrator's name. Okay, you can reveal it from Heather addressing him by name, natch.

Heather and her co-worker enjoy lunch. Some time elaborately spent on Heather's provacative wardrobe choice for the day and her flirtatious manner.

The hero, the male character (Ronny?) thinks of his new life, his wife and his home.

Will he succumb to Heather's charms?

Read and see for yourselves, members, authors, guests.

Well written. Needs a few tucks on verbiage running on, but fine really.

Four Star appeal. Teff likes this one.

Cordially,

 THE RIPPER RETURNS TO WHITECHAPEL COURT Open in new Window. (18+)
2005 -- FIRST PLACE in Laurencia's WE WANT YOUR STORY CONTEST !
#934458 by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)


Nork, Hey!

Nov 9, 2K5 -------> On the scene with THE POET WHO DOESN'T KNOW IT posted by Norksquad on Auto Rewards.

Now, readers, WC members & guests, attention poets, this one really sings.

Great lines, fast cadence, words well chosen. Hard to top and an enjoyable read.

Happy Thanksgiving a little early, Sir.

Cordially,

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#936894 by Not Available.
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Review of TANYON  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

As far as prologues go, Mr. Wilson, this is a good one.

It is brief, yet sums up the situation at hand.

It hooks this reader to read more of the resulting novella, link unposted in this item.

The typo is at "he were." Self explanatory for correction. (look who's talking typos. Teff the typo queen, right here and guilty.)

The subject is a touchy subject handled carefully by author, Howard.

The content is firm and delivers.

The Suggestion:

At the end either go with: Work In Progress or To Be Continued. (Only if you prefer, of course.)

Then and only then can Teff be so gallant and very pleased to read on.

And above all else the hook is fantastic!

Thus a four star for criteria of endeavor to explain & bait in a prologue is certainly met.

Hey, welcome to WC. Like your fast-paced style, Howard Wilson, sir.

Cordially,

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Review of Reviewing  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)


Your piece on revving is indeed a form of revving that many authors stick too. We rev you, you rev us aside. It is kind of you to rev "each and everyone." I picture you burning the midnight oil like Santa awake past New Year's Eve to get it all done.

A grand undertaking for a new member. So clap, clap, like in Peter Pan, I hope you're not discouraged in anyway for your eagerness is commendable. Good Luck!

Merit Badge in Reviewing [Click For More Info] Ranked # 36 Public Reviewer for the month of December 2004 . For more details, please see [Link To Item #614925] .

Did it work?
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Review of Sunet's Finality  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)

Okay, Fiendish, did the old guy take a bullent or shoot supper. Squirel stew, rabbit?

Nice touch though, for: "And a tear cornered his eye." Cause he was aiming, hunting in Oct?

Sunset & beer, age.

Ah, well, they say Teff is No. 17 in Credited Reviewers on PUBLIC REVS, son.
So, a hats off to all author's revved in the week that was, Oct 12 to ???

Say is that Lizzy Lemon down below? Hi Liz! Cute revs are in again. Hohum. Hohum. It's off to rev we come.

All spoofing aside. WHY? Why really. Make a joke. It's easy. What is a good rev. Can it have wit?

God, why not ??????

Have a scary day with fun, Fiend, uh buddy?

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#952447 by Not Available.


Cordially, Teff goes for the silver.

Esprit's # ONE REVIEWER!!!! Go Esprit!

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