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Review of It seems to me...  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (3.0)

Lorilady offers It seems to me, a poem including rendition on fears of dogs, flying, etc.

Mostly, when using I capitalize I. When posting a poem, generally use caps in title, thus: It Seems to Me, to be taken seriously. The poem contains adequate rhyme.

Welcome to WC and Happy New Year's Day.

Cordially, Teff

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#960972 by Not Available.
702
702
Review of Pure White  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (5.0)

lllllllll *Snow3* llllllllll *Snow3* llllllllll *Snow3* llllllll

CHRISTMAS EVE, ARE YOU LISTENING?
SNOW OUTSIDE IS .....

Stop the presses! Halt, say I.

For T L FINCH posts a brand new poem. Dec 19, 2k5. PURE WHITE is about the origin of the simple snowflake, the nasty five foot drifts in US mountains, the stuff on our windshields when we're late for work, shivering, etc.

Favorite line, one among many from this attractive presentation:


"There was a place so long ago, When nature cried amid morning glow."

Merry Christmas, Finch!

Cordially,

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#960972 by Not Available.
703
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Review of Red Tears  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)


lllllllll *Snow3* llllllllll *Snow2* lllllllllll

One wonders what happens when leaving an unsettling poem behind.

Poet / author, Turtlegreen offers RED TEARS on page 9 of Auto Rewards.

If only there was something else in the intro Teff says, looks, nada.

Ah well, give us the Happy Holidays for one and all.

From: RED TEARS ------>

"Soft voices cheat little kids
Making them do things."

Rhyme on! Viva Poetry, the illusive creature.

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704
704
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (5.0)

SEVEN STAR POEM ALERT!!!

NEW Headline for intro from Alabama Courier Times ------->

CLUMSY DRAGONS FOILED IN CIRCUS SHOW //// llllllllll *Snow3* A Gift, Dec 23, my house to yours, dear poet, Mr Richard L Jones.

Great style, love these, vocab super, rhyme immaculate.

!!!!!!!!!!! ENTERTAINMENT !!!!!!!!!!!

Best Holiday, welcome aboard, Jones.

THANK YOU !!!!!!!

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#1041702 by Not Available.


Unrelated Holiday Literary Quote ------>

"He (Madison Lane) and Rosita were married one Christmas Day" A CHAPARRAL CHRISTMAS GIFT, BY O HENRY
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705
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


CHRISTMAS AT MAISON du RENARD ROUGE is the well titled latest addition of J A Buxton's Home of The Red Fox Series.

Summary: Residents at a wealthy mansion frolic in snow with two children. A senior arrives from the streets and is welcomed by the staff. While the kids are in awe for the new gent, down on his luck, he resembles jolly St. Nick.

*Snow3* Genre of children can also be for adults.

In Chronol order:

Like: "rusty laugh"

had saved (twice) in opening par, perhaps toss had

Is Walker the rich patron? If so, keep his millionaire status near the same sentence which provides your hook in this opening hook paragraph.

Of ... long table. A writer must consider what he doesn't need to write in for readers. E.g. we realize the limo will be parked.

Suggest using --- after he met

sickly appearing man --- toss appearing

The item looks good in bold.

Walker laughed ... or Walker laughs ...
(start, to start, starting, started also taken for granted with Walker laughs.)

haggard visage ... Say what?

Check this out
*Snow3*
*Snow1*
*Snow2* Just for you, dear author. With the very Merry Christmas.

Simply tweak this one at the drawing board. When you get back there, Teff will move over, make a place.

Cordially,

A TREE FOR IDA QUINCY  (13+)
Friends cut a tree in the Blue Ridge Mountains, NC
#920697 by April Sunday

706
706
Review of The Experiment  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (3.0)

Dear Chris TJ: In THE EXPERIMENT a reason for this plot is rather hidden. Many extra words in predicates can be eliminated. In other words, re-align the verb sandwiches of:

He had fed --- use fed
she had been --- she was
he had done it -- he did it
Etc.

So, PERHAPS another edit can change verbs swaying into Baked Fish on a Kaiser Roll with mayo and pickles.

llllllllllll Sidebar: Teff calls what newsletter editor, Diane posts this week, for extra hads, and general overuse of perfect tenses (since Oct. 2004) "Verb Sandwiches." lllllllllllllllllllllllll

Good try, odd story, but interesting points between the lines.

Happy Holidays!

Cordially:

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#952447 by Not Available.
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707
Review of Galway  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (3.0)

From the intro for GALWAY, author/ poet tells of a "tough decision in (her) life."

The setting is fine in the allusive, but could just as well be Kansas. Rhyming is fine, so why isn't the decision inside the poem?

Well, personal reasons, other than this, one can't see much of the intro.

Happy Holidays to you and yours, Miss Emily Kennedy.

Welcome to WC where over 1,949 works by Newbie writers are posted on Read-A-Newbie Page.

Just a tad more needed with this one, regardless, a fine read.

Cordially,

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#938484 by Not Available.
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708
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.0)

Dear Hosts of POETRY IN RHYME & RHYTHM CONTEST, thanks for the keen links to poetry websites, your intro provides.

With Christmas around the corner, this monthly contest also posts insight into how to write poetry the proper way.
Wow, one forgets the amount of rules with the genre, but these are easily, excuse me .... (Easily? Hmmm?) These rules may be easily adaptable for poets, authors, members, contestants, students of poetry, and future, budding poets. Teff hopes so.

With over 65 posts the contest offers a great look see into the poet's craft.

However, more color needs to added to the finely written narration in the intro. Why? Well it's easy enough to do. So they tell me, every chance they get.

Granted JTR
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#936894 by Not Available.


is bereft of smilies, and was rated low (a 3.5 star) Although it has one image, that particular rater did not see.

However, just a tad of color in the print itself, diversified on headings, etc .. is fine by this humble poet.

Thanks for listening. Rhyme ON!

Happy Holidays to all contestants.

Cordially,

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709
709
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

Modern Poet! Modern Poet!!
You do the site of Writing.Com justice with IN SEARCH OF HER MUSE.

For a second there, Teffy thinks you are talking to her, with "the message that never comes" "an empty house ... tidy and clean."

How to write poetry 101 is the true gift of this rose colored presentation. Just in the nick of time while we hustle bustle about, preperations in tow for those special Christmassy ways.

Then arrives this reminder, to steady the line, draw in the sails, imagine, pin down the muse and ...

We know the drill, right? Readers, guests, authors, poets, boys, girls, ladies, gentlemen. IN SEARCH OF HER MUSE is the one to read this very day. For it will encourage us to .... WRITE ON!

Thanks Modern Poet, nice pen name.

Merry Merry!

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710
Review of Cherry Nut Cake  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.5)


CHERRY NUT CAKE by Kathy M evokes images from past decades while the daughters McMahon clean out their mother's house. Written in letter form, the piece bears the salutation: "Dear Cousins."

With an aunt who wears pearls, and small things to debate ... "Toss and ask questions later" philosophy the tribute to the family tree comes through loud and clear, for all crazy cousins.

Sidebar::: lllllllllllllllllllllllllllll If this isn't fiction, hope nobody goes --- Don't tell me you threw away the tire iron with the bent handle, we prop up the tent with. Kidding! lllllllllllllllll

Actually, Teff owns a cook book with recipe cards, but typing every thing else, today. Wink.

Merry Christmas, Kathy. Welcome to WC, where writers of your caliber are a pleasure to meet.

Good one, cuz!

 TEFF'S MERIT BADGES  (E)
Home for VALID badges, contest wins & ribbons -- THANX TO ALL! & IMAGE Collection ...
#1047564 by April Sunday
711
711
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (5.0)

Author, perhaps salesman, Jim Cheresly offers COFFEE PODS AND ESPRESSO.

OOOoola la, hon, you had me in the first sentence. Everyone who read Teff's early morning, beside the garden, summer reviews on PRP knows I am a coffee fiend.

Therefore, Jim blows Teff out of the ballpark with the opening lines ... "finely ground, dark roasted coffee."

Click here for a link, while learning pristine instructions for the perfect cup of morning brew. Java the way it should be.

Merry Christmas to you and yours, Mr. Cheresly.

BTW, Jim ... while we're talking, combining flavored coffees with regular coffee, then adding the sweet creamers in those spill around, drippy plastic containers, makes the day of those who enter Teffom world. We're working on a mimic recipe for the flavored creamers. The latest go round adds melted carmel.

Nothing says it better than a great cup of coffee!

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712
712
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

Gavin, good idea with this one. Who doesn't think about the nursing home story when fiction takes over and things go awry.

Gavin's MUTINY AT MOUNTROCK is well titled. Mountrock's the place, belittling senior citizens is the game.

The pace picks up when a resident sees the lightbulb flash in his mind. The idea is to "make him (the aide) regret he ever messed with me."

Enter "Bazookas Benson" in a "sequin gown." Now expect some mayhem.

Bazookas Benson is a well chosen character name. Creating those perfect character names is part of the fine tuning for a good short story. Aw, shucks, everyone knows that, Miss Teff.

At a mere 7.11 kb, Gavin sure does the christening with style.

Merry Merry!

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713
713
Review of My dying love  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)

Page ten of Read-A-Newbie Page has some great reads and other items. This page number will change as our prolific talented New Members continue to post and in the tradition of WC, they shall Write ON!

MY DYING LOVE tells briefly of attraction riddled with fatality.

A few corrections in chronological order for the author's edit time.

snoke == smoke
Spell check on femmenism.

Happy Holidays!

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Sigs from Esprit.
714
714
Review of Table 6.  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

TABLE 6, a work from Tanstrin is this week's MUST READ.

Short stories, off site and on may include the prospects of the perfect dialog to tell the story. This 3,000 word short story achieves and is based on this criteria.

Good short stories often employ a twist-in-the-tale philosophy. Not the old bait and hook at the start, but importantly the pure pleasure of the twist at the end. Table 6 contains the latter. Sometimes on PRP, Teff sadly sees critique of what a short story should be, what it should not be.

Above all else, a short story like this one is entertaining and enjoyable. So if content is there, please praise it for the short story produced is a product like no other.

Dear Author: There are a few things to address below, compliments on content included.

First par --- battles == bottles

Like: "twenty tons of stuff" (belonging to Suzanne the ex.)

LOVE Tantris's use of perplexed, an 85 star word over the trite 'confused.'

Like: "lethal fire burning in her eyes."

Hungarian Paprika Brandy? Hey, don't see that everyday. Say where is the place hosting Table Six? Hmmm?

drunken == usage drunk

The worst of all, the paragraph breaks need to be edited, dear author.

Thank you so much for this wonderful short story. Your style is most appreciated.

Cordially,
Teff
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715
Review of Help  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)



Shying away from death genre, one never knows upon opening same. Visit "Invalid Item"  for more details on the topic.

 Help  (13+)
Lost, and confused
#1045695 by If your 5 5 5, then I'm 6 6 6
already has a four.five star rate.

HELP has a repeated stanza, used a total of four times. This rev is not meant to discourage the poet / member from further poetry. Perhaps a cheery subject or at the very least a little more to go by with this one, in way of explanation if sympathy is your goal.

Plus measured against five star poetry which crests the pages of Writing.Com every single day, we can all learn from reading in the many poetry forums.

Thanks for you time, simply not for Teff.

Cordially, T.Teffom
716
716
Review of Big Eddie  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

 Big Eddie  (13+)
A quick piece of flash fiction introducing characters in a short story I'm writing.
#936314 by flogamocker


And the characters are Big Eddie smoking a cigarette to "look tough."

Eddie -- a large guy " who had the entire alley blocked."

Woody, the stand-up or stand-in guy, watching Eddie. Intro surrounded by the smoking.

While Teff never agrees that all characters must be loved, liked, adored as is mentioned in WC newsletters from time to time, author, Flogamocker attempts the intro of action within a justifiable venue of seeing the two men in the alley, one coughing, "hands on his knees."

Characterization according to Webster:

"The delineration of character or creation of a character in a play or story, etc."

Thus intro theme met.

Brief to the point as far as a start of a story goes. However, while Teff sides with things being longer than standard essay/ flash this is a four star intro, dear writer.

Cordially,

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

With 5 very valid, visible reviewer's badges on "Invalid Item" 

Dec '05 WC Gift-- Invalid Merit Badge #110699

SIDEBARlllllllllllllll Folks give 'em, let's use 'em, please.llllllllllllllll
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717
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

The Day and Friends must be doing something right. For IT'S GREAT TO GAIN, a WC interactive has been running for three years, boasting over 3,000 entries from some very creative, polific writers. So WAY TO GO, guys & gals.

Thinking of staying slim, working out on the bike in today's warmer weather, 40 degrees and rising? Then look here where fat is what it's all about.

LOVE --- "Mall troll" that's calssic.

Merry Merry to all The Day's helper / writer elves.

Impressive!

Cordially, TEFF has 5 rev badges and new rev forum
718
718
Review of Magic  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.0)

"Three cups of hot chocolate
Sit on the table
Mom carries a plate of cookies ..."
all of the above from Celtic Lady, Christmas Lady from her poem MAGIC, published in 2001.

Thanks for posting your rev request on TEFF'S REVS. The poem feels like Christmas right down to the details of the cat wondering the house.

Teff suggests all readers, members, reviewers and guests stop by Lady's enchantanted forest, and cottage and take a peek in her port.

Hailing from Nova Scotia this writer offers a Christmas poem to greet the season year after year. And a portfolio to warm the heart.

Thanks! Poetry On!

Merry Christmas!

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#1041702 by Not Available.
719
719
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

SANTA'S LITTLE BLACKMAILER is a great title from Lee L Strauss. Featured on last week's Mystery Newsletter the tale is not morbid, not exactly scary but ..... oooooh ooohh!

Like the movie THE BAD SANTA, a man takes a post as a seasonal worker in the red velvet suit. Beware the customer child, "the boy with the water blue eyes."

Great graphics with the note from the nasty kid, Lee. And a very good read.

Seems like this one came to an abrupt end. Hope the reason wasn't ye olde word count status. If so, what a shame.

Cordially,

A TREE FOR IDA QUINCY  (13+)
Friends cut a tree in the Blue Ridge Mountains, NC
#920697 by April Sunday
720
720
Review of Moving Day  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.5)
Peppermint Patty, Teff is a pushover for a story poem. MOVING DAY brings to the table the tale of a son leaving home and a mother's sadness at his flight. Great rhymes! One of the best of the best.

Cordially,

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#1041702 by Not Available.
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721
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

Dear Author, You had me all the way to -- "where everybody knows my name."

Appreciation for the regular way of talking comes out in this story. Once I was told not to use the ordinary in a story. Although there's a ton of great vocab stunts in this piece, the impressive part is the use of cliche chosen appropriately for STYLE!

Read A PLACE CALLED HOME --- do yourself a favor. Writers may learn from this, reviewers can spurn cliche bashing for a picky spate. Best of all, readers will enjoy this tale of boyhood, profession, friendship & hard work.

Setting introduced in first par. Where it belongs!

Cliche samples to lead readers onward ---

short fuse

On a more serious note ---

You might wonder

In all seriousness

To summarize ===

ALL of the above shows keen observance of educational standards evident in Joefc's fine work.

Plus character creation to die for!

Cordially,

"Invalid Item" 
722
722
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (5.0)

Good Evening Christmas Elves, all the reviewers and readers out there, take heed.

THE CHRISTMAS ANGEL by Fyn measures in as a MUST READ! A story poem with a toy store, a elderly wood carver and a little girl teased for "thick glasses"
"her name, her dress and her grades."

Oh, poor little thing. Sniff.

Enter Christmas Eve, the lighting of the toy shop's tree and ...... ohhhhhh.

Excellent, thanks Fyn. Merry Merry!

Don't be a passer-by as Sleigh Bells Ring are you listening -------> ----->

Teff's Revs
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#1041702 by Not Available.
723
723
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (3.0)

"Nonny voices an opinion in RELIGIOUS TRUTH: THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS.
Citing, the Brad Pitt movie, SEVEN the author admits researching online for concepts surrounding envy, etc. Naming the rest of them here might be a plus for informing readers." Alabama Courier Times // Dec. 7 // T.Teffom

The Suggestion: For further composition filler, try a few lines from either THE FOURTH DEADLY SIN, THE FIFTH DEADLY SIN, the mystery series. Perhaps other ideas will come while doing online research.

Adding the sources will never subtract from one's work, hon.
724
724
Review of Warflower  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)

Musetrap, one must say this is a farfetched idea to follow a flower "blowing over scorched, glassy ground."

Genre -- Fantasy, afterall.

Three tales of battle, one with Drul, who "listens to the clashes of voices around him" after victory.

Lt. Cromwell "driven mad by the pounding of shells."

Until time and philosophy genre blend over time and the warflower evolves from the pen of this author.

Not bad, a bit flowery for Teff, a little hard to grasp, Musetramp, while genre of Sprititual, hidden or not seen.

The Suggestion: A stronger lead in for changes of character, which also changes the era, or evolution going on in this brave new or old world, where always prolific warflowers flourish and grow.

Best to you and yours for a Happy Holiday.

Merry Merry!

Cordially, Teff

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#1041702 by Not Available.
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725
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.0)

Susan of Pudlin! Sooooooo roared the N Wind ----------> SSSSSSSAAAAANNNNNN !!!!!!!! O'Pudlin!

Uh, oh, Teff's hamburger with relish, verb sand menu lecture again.

O'Pudlin. Adolescent Lit has less extra mayo with horseradish annoyance than your baggage here of hads, thats in the wrong place, that becauses. Novelist to novelist, Susie Q, you're not listening to teacher, Sr. Tessandra Teff.

Can see from your posts on Auto Rewards ... if its new on AR this revver finds it. Can see copyrite, Jan. Okay, story line good. Empahasize the research.

Note Mary Reily's pink spot outline in Whitechapel, London in

 THE RIPPER RETURNS TO WHITECHAPEL COURT  (18+)
2005 -- FIRST PLACE in Laurencia's WE WANT YOUR STORY CONTEST !
#934458 by April Sunday


Plus why rehash these verb sandwich convos over lunch once more. You may as well say meet me in Boston Harbor. Don't make me come out of Maine, someone will need to rescue me, they're talking 12 foot drifts. Yikes!

On That: In Philly speak and in America we use that ---- thus: That's great.

We watch our fence blow away, two or three kids flush into an incoming Jan wave in Jersey, and say, "That's great."

Q -- Whatyamean y lost the money at the track?

A -- Now that's just great.

Yes, colloguial. Your setting of 1847 sounds marvelous for ships. Give us some live research, quote the source. Impress!

Chronological order:

like that -- glad
Like First Parish Church (Church of Latter Day Yankees)

The father that ammassed great wealth sentence. NO THAT, toss it. Bye.

Note: The above's your hook. A novelist will place hooks at the end of a chapters to hook in the fish for next chapter line. With this common mistake of this hook 'amassed great wealth' it will add to Eliza's flair while properly mittened, sliding on ice. In her (Susan's) opening lines.

Plus this actually makes me want to knit, seriously. Susan knows, I mean her no harm, Mr & Mrs America and all the ships at sea.(Walter Winchel)

ELIZA JANE is Kiddie Lit genre also. Historic if you pick up the pace, America wants to know about the original blue states N of Jersey, Mass. Lunch better be Lobster, Susan.

Here's a rewrite present for you.

"Winter came early, barely Indian Summer prior to frost, snow falling thru Dec."

Hint -- Rent STORM OF THE CENTURY by Steven King. Background accent.

Please check TEFF'S REVS out, where Teffy brags on your prolific writing skills etc (Pssst --- Pudlin's stories are fabulous).

Hey, tiny rev related favor for moi. Por favor -- See if you can make out the rules for me below. Are they getting it? Post this Rev & Rev reply as a post on .... you decide, Miss Susan.

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THANKS!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!
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